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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 3 post(s) |
Mizhir
Euphoria Released Triumvirate.
61757
|
Posted - 2014.05.16 21:29:00 -
[121] - Quote
You didn't have Mr Muffin to play bad cop for you?
I'm also dissapointed that you haven't reacted to my subtle little joke. Maybe you haven't spotted it yet. One Man Crew - Collective solo pvp |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
13619
|
Posted - 2014.05.16 21:33:00 -
[122] - Quote
Mizhir wrote:You didn't have Mr Muffin to play bad cop for you?
Um.. Mr Muffin is a Monday thing.. maybe a Tuesday encore if Lupe doesn't throw him away...
I could have done it with a doughnut.. but that would just be silly. Mr Doughnut.. ha! How absurd.
Plus.. even if I did have Mr Doughnut.. Im sure he would always have a shocked look on his face.. and its hard to look tough like that. Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
13662
|
Posted - 2014.05.19 20:59:00 -
[123] - Quote
Operation ChairGǪ reassignment.. no no no.. relocation? Damn.. operational names are hard. Operation Get rid of this broken ass chair and steal the HR ladyGÇÖs chair as a replacement. Thatll do. Operation: GROTBACASTHRLCASR for short. ThatGÇÖs gonna require a copy/paste if I type it again. I was really hoping it would spell something awesome and easy to remember. Next time ill start with an acronym and make up the name. Operation: PITCHFORKGǪ Pain in the calf / hamstring for other reasons..k? That makes no sense at all. Im glad I didnGÇÖt go with that. Operation CHAIR.. Chair h-something and it replaceGǪ gah. I give up.
Anyways, the operation was completed early this morning. No witnesses.. no loose ends. Replacement duct tape installed on my armrest to camouflage the chair, and it was thoroughly sanitized with a combination of pilfered monitor cleaner and hand sanitizer. I regretted that immeadiately.. as it reeks of purfumey (is that even a word?!??!) hand sanitizer and some awful glass cleaner smell. Ugh.. It had to be done. Now comes the hard partGǪ wearing a new ass groove in the cushion. Luckily the HR lady doesnGÇÖt weight that much.. and replacing her bony ass groove with mine should be relatively simple. Just got to sit here and do nothing. Im on it.
What the hell is a GǣBlack and whiteGǥ muffin? I want to know who here is buying these things.. because they are moving away from muffin type muffins and more of these foofy cupcake like muffins. Breakfast muffins have a nice texture and hold up well to the rigors of Mr Muffin.. while these things are more cake like.. CAKE CANNOT HOLD UP TO BEING A CHARACTER DAMNIT. Sigh. I will have to make do with what I have. When life gives you lemonsGǪ. Yeah.. not sure how that meshes with my current muffin situation.. unless it was a lemon muffin.. THAT I can work with. So today, Mr Muffin is just all over the placeGǪliterally. Hes tried several characters from classic black and white movies.. all while losing pieces of his head.. all over the floor. DAMN YOU CRUMBLY CAKE MUFFIN THING. Hes like a poor zombie.. with pieces all falling off. Can one feel sorry for an object that he himself is giving personification to? Deep stuff there. Muffin Philosophy. Whoa. Maybe Ive stumbled onto a whole new outlook on life.. or reason for being. Life is like a muffin. If you make it out of inferior stuff.. and you abuse it.. it crumbles, but if you take the time and build it right with the proper ingredients.. you can make much hilarity. Hmm.. not quite there yet. Perhaps I should think this over more, spend years pondering it... Who knows if one day in the future, Unsuccessful at Everything will be looked back upon as the father of Muffin Philosophy and how it changed how the world views itself.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Mizhir
Euphoria Released Triumvirate.
61779
|
Posted - 2014.05.19 21:00:00 -
[124] - Quote
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:Mizhir wrote:I'm also dissapointed that you haven't reacted to my subtle little joke. Maybe you haven't spotted it yet. ****. My wife plays this game with me all the time. New hair style? Have you lost weight? New lipstick shade? Are you trying out the eyebrow thing? Ive never won this game... I always just say shes pretty and try to change the subject ASAP. Ill regret typing that if she reads this.. ..and that.
It was something about contacts :)
One Man Crew - Collective solo pvp |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
13663
|
Posted - 2014.05.19 21:19:00 -
[125] - Quote
Mizhir wrote:It was something about contacts :)
Oh thank god. For a moment there I thought I was going to need to buy you flowers or tell you all the reasons why you are so much prettier than your sister who I totally don't think is attractive and never have and should totally be jealous of you because of your epic prettiness and how if you left me I would probably die from things and be ruined for all women and would pine for you until the end of time but then of course id be dead and of course id be ruined for all other women except maybe some freaky necropheliacs who I would never ever find attractive because they weren't you.
(ive been away all weekend... haven't logged in at all .. to think.. it was a free weekend for all the bots and carebear prairie dogs Ive been AFK camping.. I feel bad for letting them do things.)
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Sibyyl
Brave Collective
1025
|
Posted - 2014.05.19 21:57:00 -
[126] - Quote
Crumbly cake zombie sounds like the perfect kind of snack/one night stand/life partner. Take solace knowing that even after the sun sets, and your sky is filled with darkness, that the sun is still shining. -D. Entervention Psychotic Monk joins BNI |
Nakami Saans
Perkone Caldari State
66
|
Posted - 2014.05.21 11:57:00 -
[127] - Quote
This has just been a wonderful read and end to my workshift. Thank you! I can't wait for more stories Rainbow Worrior of EVE...well...maybe worrior is too strong a word.-á I like to site see ^.^ Would like to make connections with other LGBT players, possibly a corp Please help me with my Philosophy Final! |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
13705
|
Posted - 2014.05.22 18:32:00 -
[128] - Quote
Lets talk about Kevin.
Kevin is a low level peon who contributes.. less than nothing to the company. Kevin is also about 5GÇÖ 1GÇ¥ and is pushing the 240lbs mark. With his now long red beard, Kevin looks an awful lot like a dwarf from LOTR, minus the helmet and somewhat funny jokes. He acts like Marvin the depressed robot from Hitchhikers guide.. and walks like him too. Kevin is one of a short list of universally despised people in the office. I can count on one hand how many people in the entire building like him. Why do people dislike Kevin? Kevin is opposed to ::effort::. If something is too hard, Kevin likes to tell people that GÇ£itGÇÖs not his jobGÇ¥ and walks away from it. There is no try with Kevin, none at all. So many people have to take up his slack. Grrr Kevin. But you see, Kevin will never be fired, because an exec has a serious man crush on Kevin. Kevin is the greatest thing since sliced bread to this exec. Grrr executives. This kinda goes back to Execs not living in a land called reality. Now, the only thing Kevin puts actual ::effort:: into.. is securing himself a doughnut during Thunderdome. Using ninja-like moves and his low center of gravity, he almost ALWAYS gets one. As soon as the doughnut is in hand.. he immeadiately goes back into Marvin mode and lumbers through the crowd. **** you Kevin. So useless you are.
Now youre asking yourself.. why do we care about Kevin? Because Kevin IS THE CHAIR THIEF!!!! (que dramatic music).
I initially dismissed Kevin as a suspect because of KevinGÇÖs aversion to ::effort::.. and the fact that talking to him is like scraping your fingernails on a chalkboard while taking a cheesegrater to a tattoo all while listening to Bjork through a high-fi headset at max volume. But I let my personal feelings get in the way of my investigationGǪ ThatGÇÖs like.. Investigation 101 stuff. The signs were all thereGǪ looking back it makes perfect sense. The recliner mechanism is broken.. Kevin ALWAYS leans back in his chair.. and as I know from experience.. office furniture requisitions are definitely ::effort::.. so it was decidedly less ::effort:: to simply take a chair instead. Im such a fool.. how did I miss this. He knew I was gone for a week.. so he ceased the opportunity! Why can Kevin put ::effort:: into this, but not work? I want to punish Kevin for this.. but do I have the right to, seeing as that I have done the same thing to the HR lady? Can I be this hypocritical? Does not the HR lady deserve this for what shes done as well? I donGÇÖt think there is anything in Muffin Philosophy that covers this.. yet. How can I live with myself? Why did I choose today to grow a conscience? Or is it ethics? Ugh. I shouldnGÇÖt feel bad at all about taking the HR ladyGÇÖs chair.. because SHE ALREADY GOT A NEW ONE. You *****. Oh I see how it isGǪ she gets one after a couple days.. I donGÇÖt get one after YEARS. Why am I pissed off over a ******* chair!?!??
ThatGÇÖs it. Im going to punish Kevin. **** it. It needs to happen. If I let one slip, the other inmates will think ive gone soft and turn on me. I wont let that happen. This may be an office.. but even here there is the law of nature, and in the cubicle jungle.. I AM KING. There will be no operational name for this oneGǪ it will be purely black ops. Even with his exec man-crush powers, I will make an example out of him.
Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
1069
|
Posted - 2014.05.22 19:25:00 -
[129] - Quote
*gasp*
Nail biting, intense action scenes?
UAEzilla vs Kevinra? o_O
Dramatic chipmunk might do overtime to comment that fight. Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Ralph King-Griffin
Var Foundation inc.
1526
|
Posted - 2014.05.22 19:29:00 -
[130] - Quote
start posting these in his cubicle "CAKE CANNOT HOLD UP TO BEING A CHARACTER DAMNIT."
Unsuccessful At Everything |
|
Sibyyl
Brave Collective
1221
|
Posted - 2014.05.23 14:52:00 -
[131] - Quote
All of us who are rank and file get these office chairs that feel like you're sitting on a bag of potatoes. One day I went to another building to smoke in its atrium while also avoiding somebody and I spotted this exec room with Aerons. Sometimes I work pretty late with the janitor being the only other living soul in the building. So one night I wheel out one of these chairs, put it at my desk and enjoy the spoils.
So embarrassingly one day I'm on NineWest micromanaging my shopping cart and this lady in a blue pantsuit sidles up to me and asks me if she can take her chair back. Can't even believe the nerve on this strange person, I scoff and look confused like how could you possibly think I'd give you my *my* chair. I was ready with a story about a lumbar thing and the department expense card, and she squeaks: You know that's the only room we have with blue chairs, followed up with a look of "how could you? what would your mother say?". Immediately I look at her suit, then at the chair (I had to do it twice) and then begged and groveled for this not to go to my boss.
I hate these potato chairs. |
Graygor
1kB Realty 1kB Galactic
116154
|
Posted - 2014.05.24 13:16:00 -
[132] - Quote
I just caught up on the ones ive missed.
This has to be the best read on the forums. "I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." --áKenneth O'Hara
"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commisar Kate |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
1081
|
Posted - 2014.05.27 12:03:00 -
[133] - Quote
bumb, because I can. Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
13823
|
Posted - 2014.05.30 00:09:00 -
[134] - Quote
Every year for the past 5 years Ive gotten a little questionnaire from the bossman. Ive determined it to be some kind of tool for determining who is the right people to be moved up into management or executive positions. I have never taken these things seriously, and I am convinced that I only receive them at this point due my responses. The questions are centered around what you would change and how if you were to be put in charge, and how it would effect the office. Every year I answer with something. Last year, I told them that this floor would be turned into a genetic laboratory with the goal of creating a rideable T-Rex for me to use as personal transportation, thus increasing productivity through fear and quickness. Sounded fantastic to me, but apparently wasn't what they wanted to hear. This years sheet has come, and ive decided that my past ideas weren't as fleshed out as they might want it, and that's why no one took them seriously. This years will be slightly more comprehensive.
"My idea is a two pronged plan for increasing productivity. The first prong shall be as follows: The space between all sections shall be increased to exactly 8 feet. This can be accomplished by simply moving the existing sections 1.5 feet towards the outer walls through means of either volunteer manual labor, or labor appropriated from other floors through nefarious means. While this would indeed severely diminish the walking around on the outer walls, the increased center walkway would provide a more 'superhighway' like experience directly from the large express elevators directly back to the back offices, and all sections would have their opening oriented to face this new thoroughfare.
The second prong of my plan is where the most changes will be made, and where productivity is increased. Section 5 shall be converted to stables where small ponies will be housed and taken care of. All current section 5 staff will be retrained as stable workers and will all complete training in Equine Husbandry. There will be 4 ponies housed in the new stable area. There will be directed the creation of a 4/5 scale Roman Chariot, to be adourned in gold with the crest of a muffin. This chariot will be just the right size to fit in the express elevator when completely assembled and hitched to the ponies. I shall then drape myself in flowing robes of finery in the style of a Toga, and ride my chariot through the office in display of my power. I would recommend that we also form an imperial guard, who would be equipped with both blade and polearm to serve as both protector of the newly crowned Caesar, and the dispensers of office justice. There will also be auditions held to determine who in the office has the most talent with a horn, and they shall be made my herald who will sound the horn in preparation of my presence. The office will be held in line through both oppressive rule and kindness. All who fail to live up to standards shall be made to fight gladiatorial style in the breakroom."
I think im on to something this year.
Also, in an unrelated matter, Kevin smells pretty. Pretty awful. Its like hes wearing a whole bottle of dollar store ladies perfume that someone perhaps went and found during yesterdays lunch time and poured through somones open sunroof onto their drivers seat and also down their cowl into the heater opening. Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Sibyyl
Gallente Federation
1472
|
Posted - 2014.06.05 17:30:00 -
[135] - Quote
Mm. Got hungry at work and needed Mr. Muffin to save me.
Muffin on a chariot makes me wonder if some Ben Hur action is coming.. .. when everything else is gone .. |
Anslo
Scope Works
5239
|
Posted - 2014.06.05 17:32:00 -
[136] - Quote
Tired, lazy, can't be arsed to do things needing done, yet somehow get them done right before the deadline perfectly.
Haven't shaved cause :effort:
I look like a bum who's about to be fired.
I got a giant bonus check and an equally large raise.
God Bless America
|
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
14002
|
Posted - 2014.06.05 19:13:00 -
[137] - Quote
So busy this week. Deadlines approaching rapidly, additional work piled upon us at the last second. Such is life in the office jungle.
IT has implemented a way to block me from the forums on company hardware. It took them long enough. Luckily, I can get a bar or 2 of Wifi from the coffee shop across the street on my tablet thanks to their admin password being "password" (I know.. I was shocked too) and a strategically placed wifi booster on the wall facing the coffee shop. The lengths I go for you people.
Monday was much disappoint. The muffins were absent.. replaced with bagels. Now, Im all for a good bagel every now and then, but im not for using a bagel as a stand in for a muffin. Just look at the thing.. its always surprised. Nope.
Came in early today to finish a large report that goes out tomorrow That Section 3 dropped the ball on. Sometimes you just got to suck it up, put your head down and power through it. 50 pages and 10 visuals down. I faintly remember hearing the horn that sounds the beginning of Doughnut Thunderdome. I saw the prizes earlier. 3 boxes of those store brand crap doughnuts. Those Hostess wannabe doughnuts. The ones that taste completely of shortening and are covered with so much powdered sugar that you end up looking like you just snorted a line. The ones with the weird jelly ring in the center.. ugh. Ruined by good bakery store doughnuts I have been. Why would people fight over those things? Im sure there were arguments, thrown elbows, shoving.. just for the sake of it. Rhonda the Hutt's suit dress jacket thingy shows the telltale powdered sugar handwipe marks of a victor. Chair Thief Kevin is absent today.. or else he would have surely taken three. He sure is sick alot on Thursdays and Fridays. Sigh. To be an execs pet must be a plush life. Rumor has it Chair Thief Kevin has a key to the next floor's exec bathroom. Ive yet to witness him using it.. not that I go up there much by choice. One does not simply wander through the floor of insanity and madness for no reason. Like Camelot, it is a silly place. Home of the VP who like to say mind bending things that break reality and cause traumatic brain injury.
Oh, Chair Thief Kevin had turned in a HR complaint yesterday. Apparently someone superglued his period key down so that e.....v......e...r.y....t..h...I...n...g.... ..h..e.. ..t....y..p...e..s.. ....l....o.....o...k...s... .l..i...k....e. ....t..h.....I...s. I can see how that could be annoying, so his complaint might be justified.. although he didn't put anyones name down as the offender. He might have some fun getting that keyboard unplugged... pretty sure its epoxied into the socket. I can imagine the frustration on the HR ladies face when she read the complaint he typed out... that must have been painful. Probably less painful than an outbreak.. but still.. yeah. Maybe Chair Thief Kevin is gone today due to a period overload? I hear that some periods can be worse than others. Man I want to know what he said when he called out now...
Well, im informed that OH Lindy is going to her grandmothers house tonight for dinner. I have placed an order for her potroast and sweet potato pie for my lunch tomorrow. Man I hope that happens.. just thinking about it is making my stomach growl. Ive worked clear through my lunch apparently.. hopefully there.. is.. YES! Emergency package of Beef Jerky in the bottom drawer! This should get me through the end of the day... maybe. Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
1106
|
Posted - 2014.06.06 06:18:00 -
[138] - Quote
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:Chair Thief Kevin had turned in a HR complaint yesterday. Apparently someone superglued his period key down .
lol, Dramatic Chipmunk, what do you say to this development? *Drama* Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Graygor
1kB Realty 1kB Galactic
118973
|
Posted - 2014.06.06 06:26:00 -
[139] - Quote
Remind me never to **** you off UAE... "I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." --áKenneth O'Hara
"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
14054
|
Posted - 2014.06.06 20:10:00 -
[140] - Quote
Well, it took long enough.. but Chair Thief Kevin finally made a comment about having problems with his period. My work is done, for now the highschool mentality that reigns supreme in office settings has taken over.. and now everyone is cracking jokes about Kevin and his periods. Hard to feel comfortable in that chair when even the women are offering you feminine products isn't it Chair Thief? Why did it take so long for him to make that comment? That's all I wanted him to do. Cant blame me for this one Kevin.. its all on you.. You and your periods. Judging by the amount of ridicule and laughter.. id say this will last for at least 2 weeks.
Im waiting for Kevin to turn on his desk fan thingy now. There is about 60 packets worth of that uber-sweet 'sweet and low' powder waiting for him in there. The switch is set to 'turbo'.. all he needs to do is turn it on. Should be great times.. he always has it blowing right in his face. Maybe ill go turn down the AC to speed up the process..
Now I sit back and watch my puppets dance the dance of wrath.. and slowly savor bite after bite of OH Lindy's grandma's Roast Beef.. Soon, it will be time for the pinnacle of my day.. those 2 slices of sweet potato pie. I will probably take those up to the roof and enjoy them, so that it feels more like heaven. Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
|
Graygor
1kB Realty 1kB Galactic
119221
|
Posted - 2014.06.07 04:17:00 -
[141] - Quote
I think we should do a faux documentary on your office.... the ratings would be huge. "I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." --áKenneth O'Hara
"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate |
Sibyyl
Gallente Federation
1508
|
Posted - 2014.06.07 05:27:00 -
[142] - Quote
I soooo want to read it tonight, but I'm going to save it for the office on Monday. At my staff meeting: Mr. Muffin, I choose you. .. when everything else is gone .. |
Jandice Ymladris
Aurora Arcology
675
|
Posted - 2014.06.07 09:02:00 -
[143] - Quote
I finally catched up
Especially enjoyed the training part, as I'm doing the very same, training two people who are fresh from school (so they cant' lie about credentials as they got none!) Funnily enough they turn out to be very similar, girl is being all motivated to learn & work, guy however keeps repeating same mistake over & over again. If I ever get grey hairs I know why. Management insists 'he just needs more time to learn' Right, we're 12 months further and I can't still trust him to operate the machinery alone! While I can trust the girl to operate the very same machinery alone, even resolving minor issues, unless it has a bad day.
Also recognized some other stereotypes (gender may vary) , funny to notice that some people characteristics are shared across workplaces worldwide. Guess that's why they're called stereotypes, because often they hold some truth to it.
Keep up the writing! I really enjoyed it, and while I have no knowledge of how office cubicles work, there's still enough situations that I recognize and enjoy Mercenaries for peace: Mordu's Legion -á-áSansha Aeon Supercarrier engaged in Haras System! |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
1108
|
Posted - 2014.06.07 14:15:00 -
[144] - Quote
Epic.
I wish I could see his face when it happens.
Dramatic Chipmunk Might need some Help from Dramatic Cupcake Dog on this one.
EDIT: and Maybe, just maybe also from the animal ception crew. Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Graygor
1kB Realty 1kB Galactic
119504
|
Posted - 2014.06.09 15:18:00 -
[145] - Quote
UAE i have a request. Might we OOPE denizens be granted to gave upon the latest incarnation of Mr Muffin when he is reborn anew?
Love to see your handiwork. "I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." --áKenneth O'Hara
"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate |
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
14194
|
Posted - 2014.06.11 19:52:00 -
[146] - Quote
Sarcasti-Trek.
Effort, the unknown frontier. These are the voyages of Sarcastiship Effortprise. Its continuing mission: To get handed the work of others who failed to even start it for like.. 2 weeks, to meet unrealistic deadlines set in place by fantasy world executives, to bodly spit sarcasm like no one has done before....
[insert Section 2 wailing the original Star Trek opening theme at the top of their voices...]
Captains blog.. stardate.. whatever the hell yesterday was.
[Shatner mode: Engaged] Weve been handed ...someone elses assignment ...due to the fact that they have even..failed to start it. Im...UNSURE.. of this deadline weve been handed. Two weeks would be.. appropriate.. but weve been given just 4 days. Four..DAYS to complete this assignment. [Shatner mode: Disengaged].
What is this current aversion to effort that people have? The Section originally assigned this work could even attempt to half-ass it.. hell, half-assed would have been something. Id settle for quarter-assing it at this point. But Nooooooooooo, lets give them a pass and give it to the section who gets god. damn. results. Well, this is what we get for being good at what we do and put our whole asses into it.
Yesterday, a midlevel exec shows up. He looks at us in Section 2 and literally just hands us the project with only the words "You have 4 days." I take a glance at the requirments and noted at the top is the timeframe of 13-16 days, start date was 5/26. I hand it back to the man, "its impossible. That's a 2 week minimum project.. 10 days at least." He hands me back the sheet. "You have four.".
I hand it back to him. "We are far too busy inventing this time machine at the moment to do a two week project in 4 days. Perhaps after we have completed our task, we could use said time machine to go back in time 2 weeks so that we could get it done, but then of course, we would alter history, and having had to work on this unrealistic project instead of our time machine, we would never invent our time machine, making it impossible to complete this task. Its a paradox sir, and im not willing to risk the universe's very existence in order to complete something in an unrealistic timeframe that has obviously been assigned to another Section since last month."
Angrily, he grabs my hand, places the paper in it and reinforces the fact that it is due in 4 days and its all on us. "You can use your Star Trek magic to fix it." he said while walking off.
Me, being me, goes straight into Bane mode.
[Bane mode: Engaged] Oh, you believe that sarcasm is your ally! I was born of sarcasm.. Raised by it... molded by it. I didn't hear an honest sentence until I was already a man, and then, it was merely ...amusing! [Bane mode: Disengaged]
"Oh, im not being sarcastic." he speaks from down the row.
Sarcasm detectors three states away exploded from the readings off of our 'conversation'.
Immeadiately, Section 2 goes into full-assed effort and smart-ass modes. The four of us bang out 4 days worth of this thing in 1, the entire time we would use raised voices to re-enact start trek scenes.
"Ensign Lindy, engage unrealistic drive!"
"We cant captain! Were trapped in some kind of.. thing.. that's on..the wing!"
"Dammit ensign! That's...my ..dramatic pause... and youre mixing up shows... and not... making any sense!"
"Engineer Scott (dudes name is actually Scott.. it worked out perfectly.), status of the effort engines?"
"Whole asses engaged sir! Were giving it all weve got!"
"Not good enough Mr Scott! We need.. to give it... more asses!"
and at that.. all sarcastic hell broke loose. It slowly de-evolved into monkey noises , caveman grunts and quantitative ass jokes.. Anyways, with the four of us on this, itll be done by Friday, even if I have to come in early to get it polished off. I think we are digging our own graves at this point. If we pull this off, we are opening ourselves to having more of this tight deadline **** shoved down our throats. But such is like any job out there, you do something above and beyond once, its then expected of you every single time. Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings? |
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
18719
|
Posted - 2014.06.11 20:06:00 -
[147] - Quote
Your management needs more pssshhhh.
Do 1/2 a job and tell them they should be thankful they got that; name and shame the manager involved and point out the discrepancy between the original estimated time scale and the actual time scale you were given. Eve is an introduction to teamwork, paranoia, dealing with consequences, coping with loss, economics, long term planning, bartering, astronomy, and the theory of space submarine travel.
Nil mortifi sine lucre |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
1115
|
Posted - 2014.06.11 21:39:00 -
[148] - Quote
Unsuccessful At Everything wrote:Sarcasm detectors three states away exploded from the readings off of our 'conversation'. Those were probably property of the NSA, highly experimental and almost finished. And you destroyed them. My hero. Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
19052
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Posted - 2014.06.20 09:15:00 -
[149] - Quote
I imagine that this is a common occurrence in UAE's office
Nil mortifi sine lucre |
Graygor
1kB Realty 1kB Galactic
120669
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Posted - 2014.06.20 09:19:00 -
[150] - Quote
How did you get access to my secret office training guide???? "I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." --áKenneth O'Hara
"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate |
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