I thought the plural form of elf was elves?

This is going to turn out to be one of those weird sex things, isn't it? I'll bet it's a weird sex thing.

Somebody once told me that drugs were bad for my elf...

well, I mean no offense, I just know nothing of your little group. Being cryptic about it isn't exactly sheding Any light on it, which in turn isn't exactly helping the situation... I'm sure I'm not the only one confused by what exactly your group is or what your goals are.,...

I must confess that my knowledge of elfs isn't great, but aren't they meant to be servants of the Deceiver?

And also, aren't they meant to have pointy ears so that we can tell them apart from proper people? Where are your pointy ears?

Earlobes are Erogenous. I do not Know of any Function for Pointy Ears. The Scriptures only mention Earlobes.

I have not Heard of Space Elfs Before this Thread.

You're thinking of space elves. WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE SPACE ELVES.

Elf Vodka? Tell me there's Elf Vodka.

why's their such an emphasis on drinking the wine? *looks in glass*

I was expecting more space elfs to stop by, or maybe just hoping that they would. Are we truly becoming extinct? Have our space elf bloodlines diluted into the general populace? I am not opposed to these things, of course, because such are the ways of space life, but I cannot help but feel a certain sense of loss.

Even the somewhat-elfish have been rare, far more rare than I thought. Anabella (almost) and Jinari (less so) are the only ones that somewhat qualify, that might have had some space elf blood in their distant space family space tree.

With all of this in mind, I suppose I shall expound on the criteria of space elfishness.

1) Sight of the Elfs. Elfs are clear of eye, unhindered of vision. We can "see" far into future times, and have not yet lost sight of the ancient past. The vast swatches of space are no barrier to our comprehension. Sometimes rejected by those who cannot handle the truthsight.

2) Forest of the Elfs. Every one of the space elfs carries a bit of the magical, mystical, exotic space forests with them. Though this is not a sure thing; space trees can be space-felled, after all. Can also be hidden by those ashamed of their elfselfs.

3) Artistry of the Elfs. Every elf is a canvas, and every elf clan holds a collective brush. The poetries of generations past, present, and yet to come are traced upon our very elf selfs. May be missing from elfs divorced from their culture.

So there, gentle guests. I have shared with you some deep elfin secrets. If I am alone as a space elf I suppose it does not even matter any more, breaking such a taboo. The other signifiers of elfinhood are secondary: litheness of frame, appreciation of space elf space wine, and so forth. These are not at all limited to elftypes.

Here. Wine. Wine for all. Just drink around my tears.

That sounds like Thukkers.

Did... did you just compare us to space-elfs?

Did... did you just compare us to space-elfs?

You can't deny that you have a Large Titan called a Leviathan (refer to Large Titan) bearing entire cities and viable ecosystems hidden somewhere in the Great Wildlands. I wouldn't doubt that there are downsized versions of the same as well.

Honest, you Thukkers can come up with things not even the Sebiestor can imagine in the most fevered of times.

If they are indeed elven features, then I am sorry for the curse placed upon your family (perhaps by a malicious space wizard).

But other than that, I don't think I would make a very good elf. How about Lasairiona here? She looks a little elfish, no?

Damn it Average elf, elfs are suppose to be a secret. That's why mine never leave the hanger....

Space wizards don't exist; you must mean space warlocks, such as the famous eagle-blooded Gallentean celebrity space warlock from Matar, Charles Shen.

If you happen to see Secret Space Elf (he's next to impossible to get a hold of), please tell him I still have his pants.

Well, if you happen to get him his pants back before I see him again, tell him to give me back mine. That quality of leather and craftsmanship is hard to come by these days..... He can keep the thongs though.

Mer?
Are mers these elves?
Does it mean they are sea creatures and live under water?..

I assure you. I am no Elf.

He's quite a cute elf.
How do elf/non-elf relationships work?

Levels of eccentricity here. But I'm curious, since you're posting here in the IGS, you're also a capsuleer? What made you decide to do that? Did you get that done enrolling in the CAS or is that some kind of artifact?

Just like any other relationship in this cold, distant present. Through rigorous and sustained experimentation in college I can assure you there are no hardware incompatibilities.

But you should already know that, being a hybrid. Tell me, which of your progenitors was a elf?

People used to ask me what I have against the bodymodding community in the Federation.

This is exactly the sort of thing I'd use as an example. The ones who get an ear pointed or an eye slanted or a tail added or their nails turned into something resembling claws, and then act as if or outright claim it makes them some whole new goddamned species.

The hell is this thread?

Ah I suspect my mother was, my father was entirely to serious to be one.

The hell is this thread?

The result of the moral degeneracy we see throughout much of the cluster.

Amarr spacemen don't like wine? What a pity.

The result of the moral degeneracy we see throughout much of the cluster.

Interesting! Very interesting. It is often said in the space elf community that a space eflin father will pass on more traits than a space elfin mother, yet here you stand before me more space elf than not. Perhaps the sayings are wrong? Perhaps it is the echo of ancient space-elf patriarchy, from which I'd like to think we've since moved on? Hmm. A fine specimen, one way or another.

I do lament your lost elfsight, though. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be born elfblind.

Are there any... extraordinary space elfs? I mean, you being an average one and all. Any abysmal ones?

I doubt this statement holds any truth. The Amarr produce among the finest wines in the Eden cluster & are a desired export product for many.

I have always believed that the patriarchy, elf or not, needs to be crushed. It is a backwards social construct that only brings oppression where minds should be free and all should be equal.

As for being elfblind, are there such things as elf guide dogs, or other favourable animals?

I'll drink to that!




This is just so sad. You could try a space dragon, if you could find one.

There are no space dragons. There are, however, massive specimens of rogue drones, or so the rumour goes.

The extraordinary space elfs pass into legend, and are rightly revered and worshiped. I believe you spacemen call them "gods"?

Abysmal space elfs? Surely they exist, but I can't recall ever meeting one.

Sounds like blasphemy.

Think about it, what if God is a space elf... doesn't say anywhere that he isn't, does it?

There are no space dragons. There are, however, massive specimens of rogue drones, or so the rumour goes.

This is what happens when rookie capsuleers balance on that 5m3 of drugs yelling over the Summit:

"This is more drop than i could take in a thousand lifetimes!"

(which did indeed happen, though I am not sure if I am quoting the correct narcotic.)

That's easy to check. According to the Scriptures the Amarr adhere to, they are Gods Chosen. From this follows that either all Amarr are Space-Elfs (else they wouldn't be the Chosen), or God isn't a space-Elf.

By lack of enthousiasm from the Amarr delegation in this discussion, I have to conclude that the Amarr God is no Space-Elf.

Sounds like blasphemy.

We get space elf space vodka from the teatmilk of space dragons, and oh lordy lordy do we have space elf space vodka. Q.E.D. space dragons exist.

Four pages.

This cannot be a thing.

Welp, I'm convinced. If there ever was some sort of mythos that deserves a leap of faith - or a drunken tumble down mt dumbass for that matter - it's the one that has space elf space vodka procured from the teatmilk of space dragons.

Where do I sign up for your newsletter and space elf space vodka delivery service?

Don't judge me.

Pretty sure my wife has some elf ear attachments from last month's "roleplaying". She wanted to be the innocent elfin maiden, and I was the evil (yet ultimately vulnerable) bad elf intent on seducing her.

Ahh, good times were had indeed.

... what? It's a Gallentean thing. Spices up the home life.

Don't judge me.

Your wife sounds like quite the spacelady, though.

Whether any of this be all, part or not at all imaginary, props to any soul, fictional or living, willing to milk something deserving of the title 'dragon'; particularly the space- variant, which presumably survives the vacuum and radiation of space on top of qualities already giving it 'dragon' status.

Does this mean these so called space dragons are in fact mammals? This brings to mind romantic children's stories of space whales, which are traditionally just as fanciful as dragons are.

Does it come out as vodka-like substance or is there a distillation process?

Somebody let me know if they get a hold of this fanciful vodka. To warrant a story like this, it simply has to be stellar if its really out there.

The things you learn.

wait..... I thought you guys were known for your wine......

This topic disgusts me. Not only do I get to see a space elf degrade and discredit my lineage of space elves, but I also see him spreading more and more lies in addition to openly promoting slander and other such nonsense.

I am both disgusted and appalled to see this development.

Silly me; here I thought the IGS was some sort of progressive forum for the development of all peoples and races, yet now we have this blasphemer talking some serious smack about elven culture and my line of blood.

Just because you don't have pointed ears doesn't make you superior to us, space elf. I, due to blood line and breeding issues, have no genetic key that unlocks them for me, yet you claim to be ultimately better than any elven individual for this purpose. Why do you aim to make us the villain? Our conflicts and our troubles are aged and timeless yet lost to the vast canvas of reality but you still choose to utilize our acts far gone to justify your foul behavior.

Our cultures share so many similarities that in insulting ours, you insult your own. I find it appalling you didn't expect your other spiritual half, race wise, to find a thread like this. You are a bigot and a liar.

How dare you tarnish space elves so.

do you have Space Elv...whatever Vodka and is it procured through Space Dragon Teat Milk?

Again I can only point to the mangling of a beautiful language by bastard tongues. The way it is meant to be pronounced (as evidenced in The Scrolls of our Elders), apparently sounds enough like another human word as to be adopted.

Since you guys can't handle the realness here, I was accommodating.

Excuse me, roundears? Brown-on-brown? Do you not know the difference between umber and tan? Did you even study, in the slightest, any one of the fashion sciences? You don't seem to have even considered the possibilities of color theory as you're wearing a uniform black outfit, looking more like a map pencil than any semblance of fashion like a true charlatan. But outside of that (and outside of the fact CONCORD made me unzip my jacket for my portrait photo), your tone is disrespectful at best when I approached you only showing disappointment.

It is clear, elf, that your intent is malicious towards those who approach you peacefully and formally. You, like many others, have naught to concede but your bigotry toward another race no matter how similar due to preconceived prejudice that only shadows your visions of the future.

I think you'll find that there are several individuals who find my appearance quite pleasing and would be dismayed if I placed myself as far away from everyone else as possible.

Ah, yes, yes, I remember these tales.
An ancient evil, sleeping in the deepest and darkest bottoms of the sea. It was more ancient than humans themselves, and nobody new when it was appeared, there were just legends of its existence.
The ancient language it speaks is not for human tongues and minds.
And they are so terrifying that just looking at them will cause men to lose their minds and become insane.

So, yea.
Sea monsters.
With tentacles.

What in Molok's breeches is going on in here?

Old tales of ancient evils and prehistoric sea monsters.

What in Molok's breeches is going on in here?

Captain Shutaq, it's best just to walk away.

Walk away while you still can.

I told everyone that space elves existed, but no one believed me. See, I'm right. Mindflood abuse does boost your mental abilities.

I don't know... those eyebrows, those delicate cheekbones...

Shutaq just might have some elf in him.

I think without blue pill I won't be able to understand all this.

I thought I saw a space elf once but it was only an asteroid that Looked like a space elf!

Shali

Would there be interest in custom made ... uhm ...
... *scratches head, wondering* ...
... long green clothes, pointy ears and wings?

Only if we're trying to scare the space children.

Oh.

Hm.

Well, I was simply offering you themed clothes ...
... but now I guess that's a bad idea.....

If space elfs are different from space elves, then could you please let me know what the singular of elves is?

Be untorn! Or, if you must be torn, untear yourself and have a drink. Contemplate, if you must, with us!

No idea what female elves call themselves.

Female elfs call themselfs "elfs", if they call themselfs at all.

Pretty sure my wife has some elf ear attachments from last month's "roleplaying". She wanted to be the innocent elfin maiden, and I was the evil (yet ultimately vulnerable) bad elf intent on seducing her.

Ahh, good times were had indeed.

... what? It's a Gallentean thing. Spices up the home life.

Don't judge me.

I can confirm, this is a Gallentean thing.

If you judge, it's racist.

I believe it is your... second post here, right, Ms. Schmidt?
And every time you just start trolling Caldari with no apparent reason.
Quite interesting introduction, I have to say.

You had one job...

I believe it is your... second post here, right, Ms. Schmidt?
And every time you just start trolling Caldari with no apparent reason.
Quite interesting introduction, I have to say.

You had one job...

Do elfs like their ears to be rubbed?


Would it please you to know that I'm quite good at massaging ears? (not offering, ofc)

Do elfs like their ears to be rubbed?


Would it please you to know that I'm quite good at massaging ears? (not offering, ofc)

What in the actual flying ****

What in the actual flying ****

For once we are in perfect agreement.

For once we are in perfect agreement.

Were you and Spacemangirl amorous? Is that even possible?


I'm sorry if that's an insensitive question.

*hold up my glass for some more wine*

Were you and Spacemangirl amorous? Is that even possible?


I'm sorry if that's an insensitive question.

*hold up my glass for some more wine*

You know **** is ****** up when me and Kirstin agree on it.

You know **** is ****** up when me and Kirstin agree on it.

Left Side, Many Elfs!

Now, Handle It!

Left Side, Many Elfs!

Now, Handle It!

But I love you.

But I love you.

I love everyone equally (and it comes in the form of live ammunition).

I love everyone equally (and it comes in the form of live ammunition).

I love everyone equally (and it comes in the form of live ammunition).

A few questions if I may Mr Elf?

What makes Space Elves or those who should not be spoken of by name evil?
Could not it be the other way or perhaps both are just splinter group of the same race?
Also if your species exist then so to, by logical deduction must Space Dwarfs?

If Space Dwarfs exist then do they have the same grudge against you as those in mythology do against elven kind?

A few questions if I may Mr Elf?

What makes Space Elves or those who should not be spoken of by name evil?
Could not it be the other way or perhaps both are just splinter group of the same race?
Also if your species exist then so to, by logical deduction must Space Dwarfs?

If Space Dwarfs exist then do they have the same grudge against you as those in mythology do against elven kind?

A few questions if I may Mr Elf?

What makes Space Elves or those who should not be spoken of by name evil?
Could not it be the other way or perhaps both are just splinter group of the same race?
Also if your species exist then so to, by logical deduction must Space Dwarfs?

If Space Dwarfs exist then do they have the same grudge against you as those in mythology do against elven kind?

My head hurts!

Please verify that Space Dwarfs live in Space Halls under the Space Mountain.

I can confirm, this is a Gallentean thing.

If you judge, it's racist.

Hail friend

I am currently looking for a companion to accompany me on a grand adventure to defeat the dreaded Space Dragon "Huando" of the Venal region

I cannot guarantee your safety my friend...But you of the mystic Elf race is exactly the kind of brother in arms i need for this great feat

I can promise you a phat pile of gold lewt from the Dragon's POS as well as my sacred Nova Axe..a sacred weapon forged in the Factory of Jita 4-4 handed down from generations of fat lazy CEOs


Will you join me friend?

So, roleplaying night on Friday, Jita 4-4 again?

Can't you choose a more quiet place for our meets?

Hail friend

I am currently looking for a companion to accompany me on a grand adventure to defeat the dreaded Space Dragon "Huando" of the Venal region

I cannot guarantee your safety my friend...But you of the mystic Elf race is exactly the kind of brother in arms i need for this great feat

I can promise you a phat pile of gold lewt from the Dragon's POS as well as my sacred Nova Axe..a sacred weapon forged in the Factory of Jita 4-4 handed down from generations of fat lazy CEOs


Will you join me friend?

If Space Dwarfs exist then do they have the same grudge against you as those in mythology do against elven kind?

Dragon

It would seem I have finally found who stole my secret stash of Quafe and Crash. I would ask for it back, but it would seem the Op consumed it all.

Oh how delightful! I tried my hand at "role playing" during my time at CAS.

I'm not very good at it, I fear. I'm not lacking for imagination, but the blatant inaccuracies in the source material are often too much to overcome.

I know not of this "Roleplay" you speak of

Is it some sort of Spell you elves know? Can it defeat it Space Orcs? If so then you would be a valuable asset in conquering the mighty beast!

You should really consider joining me!

*Rolls for persuasion boost*
*Rolls 5*

****

What did I say about rolling for persuasion checks? Use the red dice and say some prayers to the Random-Number-Goddess before rolling!

**** that, last time I prayed to that ***** I got my demon slaying badass with 80 million strength killed by a low level space rat

Oh dear. You are so going to get a critical failure for your next roll.

Dice? No.

A riding crop, some handcuffs, assorted costumery, but not dice.

I have no idea what you spacemans are talking about.

Oh im prepared,

Got my level 96 Intern with a COMPLETE Amarrian slaver gear set which halfs all effects of a critical failure roll

Mr. Aberas Jones, you got level 96 Intern with Amarrian gear, but can you cite all scriptures by heart?

No, that's heretical RP and it must be prohibited by Theology Council!