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A proper welcome to EVE Online.

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Mud Pandemonium Minmatar Trainwreck INC.	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:00:00 - [1] Edited by: Mud Pandemonium on 21/06/2007 03:00:52 Howdy, Few of you may know me, some of you may not. Recently there has been some news about a new EVETV format, I'm not going to go to much into that at the moment. However, after looking at the hosts biographies I became a little concerned that they would not... fully appreciate exactly what EVE Online is. Note, the only one of these people who is not just a paid actor is spiralJunkie, he's paid.. he's a noob (Or so the legends say) but atleast he knows what's what. The new hosts. As you can see the four paid actors have not played EVE for very long, infact they've only started since they got this gig. My proposal? Let's take them to the school of hard knocks. They are as follows. StevieSG = Kind of a kooky but cute blonde girl. FortuneFive = She just finished the training missions gentlemen! Fangtooth Kasumi = Looks like an ex-FF, ex-WoW player, kinda cute. Beefy Fiddler = Self-described adrenaline junkie, doesn't seem like the best choice to host a show about an MMO. Add them to your address book, gank them whenever possible! If they're flying them invincible Polaris frigates, IT'S SHUTTLEBUMP TIME! Do whatever you can to get them so frustrated they head to low sec to take out their aggression on other players. Is this wrong? Hell no it's not wrong, we're doing EVE-TV a service by helping educate their paid actors. Make me proud ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome our new friends to TOTALHELLDEATH. ISD! I'd appreciate it very much if you'd refrain from locking this thread, yes it does have something to do with EVETV but it's not a carbon copy of the EVETV announcement thread, can you leave it? Pretty please with Exotic Dancers on top? We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. My name is Mud.
Dark Shikari Caldari Imperium Technologies Firmus Ixion	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:04:00 - [2] Oh god, the hosts are newbies? Come on. Well, I guess this explains why Xylania is asking veteran players to write scripts 23 Member EVE Video makers: save EVE-files bandwidth! Use the H.264 AutoEncoder!
Punchen Judas Gallente Nexus Analytics	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:11:00 - [3] Yeah, you can tell they're nubs because their hobbies/interests include something that isn't Eve.
Lady Natacha Minmatar Water and Power	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:13:00 - [4] CCP should ring-up VH1 for "actors". They got so many low-cost actors waiting to work on VH1 you could probably get Gary Busey. noobs + streaming = fail
RangerXT Caldari Caldari Provisions	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:19:00 - [5] Epic Failure.
Mud Pandemonium Minmatar Trainwreck INC.	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:21:00 - [6] I would pay triple what they're asking for 45 minutes of low quality streaming if Gary Busey was doing commentary on the action. They should get R. Lee Ermey (The drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket) to do a segment on proper fittings for PVP. "YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG, ARE YOU TRYING TO FIT SMALL AUTOCANNONS ON THAT KESTREL? HOLY JESUS, TO THINK THIS HAD TO HAPPEN TO ME!" "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war!" EVETV could be epic, could be. We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. My name is Mud.
TEHBLINDMAN	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:22:00 - [7] lol
Lady Natacha Minmatar Water and Power	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:25:00 - [8] I'd just want to pod Busey during a EVETV event so I could watch LOCAL. That would be an epic rant along the lines of what Ginger used to do.
Nimrodel Caldari Umbra Congregatio Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:25:00 - [9] Paid actors playing EVE? Yeah! Lets subscribe right now! Oh, wait... --------------------------------------------- Nimrodel --------------------------------------------- Your Medium YF-12a Smartbomb hits Rusty Cloud, doing 0.0 damage.
C601	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:30:00 - [10] Out of all the people who play eve, this is the best it gets ? Just looking at there pictures, you can see the excitement they have for EVE .. I'd rather see CCP gamble there investment into this, by going to Vegas, odds look way better
MotherMoon	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:33:00 - [11] Originally by: Mud Pandemonium I would pay triple what they're asking for 45 minutes of low quality streaming if Gary Busey was doing commentary on the action. They should get R. Lee Ermey (The drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket) to do a segment on proper fittings for PVP. "YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG, ARE YOU TRYING TO FIT SMALL AUTOCANNONS ON THAT KESTREL? HOLY JESUS, TO THINK THIS HAD TO HAPPEN TO ME!" "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war!" EVETV could be epic, could be. i love you :P do it CCP! military comedy PvP set up videos wait a minates... why not make these anyways!
Red Six Reikoku Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:38:00 - [12] Originally by: Mud Pandemonium I would pay triple what they're asking for 45 minutes of low quality streaming if Gary Busey was doing commentary on the action. They should get R. Lee Ermey (The drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket) to do a segment on proper fittings for PVP. "YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG, ARE YOU TRYING TO FIT SMALL AUTOCANNONS ON THAT KESTREL? HOLY JESUS, TO THINK THIS HAD TO HAPPEN TO ME!" "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war!" EVETV could be epic, could be. That's beautiful! Outside of SpiralJunkie, the gentleman(I know I'm being nice) between the blonde and the asian girl do any of them really play Eve. I don't recognize any of them by name. SJ may be a ****er and what not but at least he is one of us. Eye candy for eye candy's sake is bad. Hire James to eat the children again err...do commentary again. Better yet, the washed(I bathe regularly, the missus makes me) minions want Al Haquis!!!!
Mithrantir Ob'lontra Gallente Ixion Defence Systems The Cyrene Initiative	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:43:00 - [13] First of all that webpage is way too laggy. Secondly so what??? I think it should be fair that they are given a chance to prove themselves. Not to mention that in the highly likely event that they like the game the fresh approach they have will prove more tense than for example from anyone playing this game for more than 1 year (other feelings come there). And don't try to ruin their experience plz. Just think them as any other player Also one last thing beautiful women i see lol And Fortunafive you indeed look like a Greek woman (i know i am from there). Maybe some long gone ancestor? ------- Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
MotherMoon	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:44:00 - [14] Originally by: Mithrantir Ob'lontra First of all that webpage is way too laggy. Secondly so what??? I think it should be fair that they are given a chance to prove themselves. Not to mention that in the highly likely event that they like the game the fresh approach they have will prove more tense than for example from anyone playing this game for more than 1 year (other feelings come there). And don't try to ruin their experience plz. Just think them as any other player Also one last thing beautiful women i see lol And Fortunafive you indeed look like a Greek woman (i know i am from there). Maybe some long gone ancestor? ANY other player? ok so you want me to blow them up becuase they aren't blue :) got yah will do
Mithrantir Ob'lontra Gallente Ixion Defence Systems The Cyrene Initiative	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:49:00 - [15] Originally by: MotherMoon ANY other player? ok so you want me to blow them up becuase they aren't blue :) got yah will do Well if they are not blue and you operate on NBSI shoot ahead lol. But going out of your way to shoot them is a little lame in my opinion. After all if you rule out spiral, who has an experience with EVE (don't know how good though), the rest are newbies and totally not worth wasting ammo unless are provoking. ------- Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
Mud Pandemonium Minmatar Trainwreck INC.	Posted - 2007.06.21 03:56:00 - [16] To be quite honest I think Farjung should be doing some hosting work, need to get some alcohol in him first to loosen him up so he's not all quiet like last time I saw him. Of course none of our suggestions are really going to matter at all. However, I'd watch it religiously if it was like this. spiralJunkie and Farjung as the main hosts. Military segment - Ermey doing his Hartman bit. Piracy - Geoffrey Rush doing his Captain Barbossa character (Sorry Johnny Depp fans) Science, Manufacturing, etc - Bill Nye Trade - Donald Trump Carebearing 101 - Stephanie from Lazytown. So it could go like this. spiralJunkie: Yadda yadda, Farjung: ... spiralJunkie: witty joke Farjung: muffled schoolgirl giggle Then the military segment, which I've already give an example of earlier. Piracy segment, Barbossa : First, the return of your ore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement, so I must do nothin'. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the Pirate's Code to apply, and you're not. And thirdly, the EULA is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome to low-sec ye damn carebear! Science segment Bill Nye: Hey, thanks for dropping by, I see you can see my datacores of SCIENCE! trumpets blare Datacores are useful tools when inventing new and useful products for the world we live in, it's science! trumpets blare Ahh..ahem, here is an experiment you can try in your own station, you'll need the help of an adult.. Trade Donald Trump: If you want to make it big in the world of business, you're going to have to skimp on the frills, you're going to have to pinch every penny, see this hair? Wal-Mart hair salon, see these shoes? Stole them from Payless. Carebearing Stephanie: It's a piece of cake to fly through Amamake, if the way is hazy You gotta do the warping on your own you know you can't be lazy Never use an autopilot see, the trip will end up crazy We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. My name is Mud.
patteSatan Celtic Anarchy Anarchy Empire	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:00:00 - [17] ffs, it was bad enough to see that Ifni was the "expert" in the tournaments... Looks like eve-tv is going for "soap-opera of the year" ...you women are creepy, but amusing as hell. 404 - Sense of humour not found. <===hUssmann VETO. made that
Liliane Woodhead Intergalactic Charwomen	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:12:00 - [18] I C I am in the middle of another joke, wonderful :) Welcome !
Winterblink Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:14:00 - [19] Originally by: patteSatan Looks like forum is going for "soap-opera of the year" Fixed. warp drive active \| nature vraie
Nyphur Pillowsoft	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:15:00 - [20] Edited by: Nyphur on 21/06/2007 04:15:06 They hired pretty people. That's all there is to it, they wanted pretty, presentable people with a good mix of girls in there to be presenting it because that's what every show aimed at our general userbase does. Incidentally, replacing the knowledgeable and well-spoken presenters with pretty newbies is a big part of what killed the TV channel Game Network. A lot can be learned from their mistakes. Eve-Tanking.com - For tanking spreadsheet and resources.
Mud Pandemonium Minmatar Trainwreck INC.	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:25:00 - [21] Originally by: Nyphur Edited by: Nyphur on 21/06/2007 04:15:06 They hired pretty people. That's all there is to it, they wanted pretty, presentable people with a good mix of girls in there to be presenting it because that's what every show aimed at our general userbase does. Incidentally, replacing the knowledgeable and well-spoken presenters with pretty newbies is a big part of what killed the TV channel Game Network. A lot can be learned from their mistakes. You know, I used to fly with a dL.Nyphur before in another game, strange. But yes, agreed on all points. I can't get the cake song out of my head. We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. My name is Mud.
Zephyrys Caldari	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:25:00 - [22] Newbs comentating on EVE play. How many pirates are now going to be hunting those specific people down to kill them endlessly to make a name for themselves and possibly a mention on this tv thing? I personally wont be investing actual money to watch this streaming pile of manure. Downloadable vids maybe.. streaming.. not a chance. Sorry to you newbie actors trying to make names for yourselves.. I'm sure you are all very good actors.. as for PvPers.. that remains to be seen. Each bio goes in depth to their acting and theater experience.. unfortunatly the players dont care about that at all. We want ppl that know computer games and MMO's. Talk about tossing the fresh meat to the sharks. -------------- Active Miner improvement Threads = 5 Active Miner improvement Threads with Dev Response = 0
Covert Oops	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:29:00 - [23] Originally by: Nyphur Edited by: Nyphur on 21/06/2007 04:15:06 They hired pretty people. That's all there is to it, they wanted pretty, presentable people with a good mix of girls in there to be presenting it because that's what every show aimed at our general userbase does. Incidentally, replacing the knowledgeable and well-spoken presenters with pretty newbies is a big part of what killed the TV channel Game Network. A lot can be learned from their mistakes. Killed TechTV/ZDTV too but im willing to give the hosts a chance.
Nyphur Pillowsoft	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:35:00 - [24] Originally by: Mud Pandemonium You know, I used to fly with a dL.Nyphur before in another game, strange. People use my name on random forums, too :/. I've also seen a few people named Ruhpyn (nyphur backward). Maybe it's just a catchy name ^^;. And to be honest, it's not original, I took it from an old game. Originally by: Mud Pandemonium I can't get the cake song out of my head. Me neither, nor do I want to :D Eve-Tanking.com - For tanking spreadsheet and resources.
Red Six Reikoku Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:37:00 - [25] Edited by: Red Six on 21/06/2007 04:37:07 Originally by: Zephyrys Newbs comentating on EVE play. Each bio goes in depth to their acting and theater experience.. unfortunatly the players dont care about that at all. We want ppl that know computer games and MMO's. Talk about tossing the fresh meat to the sharks. Fangtooth Kasumi might make it. She at least has a solid paragraph on console gaming so she at least knows what a game is. I did see Fortuna was picked up by Eve-Uni so she'll at least get a solid education there.
Zephyrys Caldari	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:40:00 - [26] Edited by: Zephyrys on 21/06/2007 04:39:16 Originally by: Red Six Edited by: Red Six on 21/06/2007 04:37:07 Originally by: Zephyrys Newbs comentating on EVE play. Each bio goes in depth to their acting and theater experience.. unfortunatly the players dont care about that at all. We want ppl that know computer games and MMO's. Talk about tossing the fresh meat to the sharks. Fangtooth Kasumi might make it. She at least has a solid paragraph on console gaming so she at least knows what a game is. I did see Fortuna was picked up by Eve-Uni so she'll at least get a solid education there. Yes I will agree.. Fangtooh has promise.. she at least seems to be the gamer type.. Some of the others probably never heard of EVE till their talent agents told em they had an opportunity And I will say Fangtooh is damn cute too. -------------- Active Miner improvement Threads = 5 Active Miner improvement Threads with Dev Response = 0
Mud Pandemonium Minmatar Trainwreck INC.	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:52:00 - [27] I still say we grief em until they turn into a real EVE player. Okay, Fangtooth or whatever she calls herself you can go easy on, but Beef Diddler and the other two are fair game. Where is tiller when you need him? (Never thought I'd type that.) We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat. My name is Mud.
Sokratesz Paradox v2.0 Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:58:00 - [28] Edited by: Sokratesz on 21/06/2007 04:57:20 Lol..just..lol. that blonde if kind of cute tho im afraid she may get scammed alot edit OH AND TIES ARE TEH SEX
MotherMoon	Posted - 2007.06.21 04:59:00 - [29] it would be awesome to see the bad takes like "hi.. fang tooth.. report.. ing...." "whats wrong?" "I lost my stabber I was in low sec without warp stabs just to get to a different high sec system.. and.. and... they warb scarbled me and now it's gone and I can't buy another one because skipe will never come back" "you named your ship?" SPIKE!!!!! or maybe beter yet WILSON!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Natacha Minmatar Water and Power	Posted - 2007.06.21 05:00:00 - [30] Originally by: Mud Pandemonium Beef Diddler and the other two are fair game. Diddler FTW! LMAO Originally by: Mud Pandemonium Where is tiller when you need him? (Never thought I'd type that.) Tiller is someplace, ganking something.

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