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The Hamish saga

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Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.10.13 18:22:00 - [301] Wish more folks posted what they liked/hated the most about my stuff ;)
Kyoko Sakoda	Posted - 2005.10.13 18:33:00 - [302] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Wish more folks posted what they liked/hated the most about my stuff ;) Except what's to hate?
keepiru	Posted - 2005.10.14 03:18:00 - [303] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Wish more folks posted what they liked/hated the most about my stuff ;) CH7 is v nice, though I did think that the fight at the end felt a little rushed, and lacked your usual "bite". The sequence in the GH-SC club was better imo :) Btw, I really liked "Exchange Rate". It rawked :D ------------- WTB: a Faction Micro Smartbomb :P
Entarel Helfir	Posted - 2005.10.14 08:39:00 - [304] Great work again, as we all expected. Though I must admit that I felt some things in the confrontation between Istvaan and Golan felt like they were going too smoothly, like it was too easy to convince Golan you are no enemy. But meh... Who am I to judge a deluded slavers state of mind... ;) Therefore, whoever wishes for peace, let him prepare for war.
Tyrrax Thorrk	Posted - 2005.10.14 08:48:00 - [305] I loved the part where Golan and co entered the club, that entire scene was very sexy as was Doradus's participation ofc. No complaints here, and I can usually find something to nitpick about http://eve.klaki.net/
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2005.10.14 09:35:00 - [306] Brilliant. GDBT is recruiting!
Khaldorn Murino	Posted - 2005.10.14 11:14:00 - [307] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Wish more folks posted what they liked/hated the most about my stuff ;) Baring in mind that I couldnt write anything close to as good as that is, It just felt it had something missing that the other chapters had. I mean, I loved reading it, and thats not to say it wasnt a great story. But, the others had, I dunno, a hook .. or something that this one was missing. If that makes sense in the slightest? - Just a simple warrior.
Golan Trevize	Posted - 2005.10.16 12:06:00 - [308] Thumbs up m8 The Gallente ideals of Freedom, Liberty and Equality will be met by the Amarr realities of Lasers, Armor and Battleships.
Dante Chusuk	Posted - 2005.10.17 17:25:00 - [309] The incident in the GH club was very well done I felt ... I actually found myself wondering where the Inquisitor was just before he burst through the door ... and then the tables are turned by civilised discourse/conversation ... oh and a good congnac The end fight was a touch fast but I guess that's because at the same time the Amarr would be looking to get in and out asap ... so they are the ones setting the pace ... Very good overall as ever ...
Hunter Lightspeed	Posted - 2005.10.17 17:37:00 - [310] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Wish more folks posted what they liked/hated the most about my stuff ;) I love ur writing just as mush as i hate ur ingame "hangar looting"
Wanoah	Posted - 2005.10.17 19:24:00 - [311] Edited by: Wanoah on 17/10/2005 19:24:24 Quote: and then the tables are turned by civilised discourse/conversation ... oh and a good congnac A fine cognac and a decent cigar can go a long way. Personally, I prefer them to be preceded by a decent meal. My waistline, however, disagrees. One day, I will try and revisit the whole lot of these and try and give some constructive criticism, Istvaan. All writers need a cold appraisal of their work in order to improve and refine their technique and ideas (and I need practice at giving feedback without causing offence). Praise is great, but you can't learn from it. Right now though, I'm just enjoying the whole concept of long-term planning of in-game actions combined with the rich storytelling after the event. Needless to say, I'm curious to know what happens next. Sometimes, I think an Eve Writers Workshop type of thing would be a good idea. Bunch of people that like writing get together and rip each others' material to shreds before it's published. What remains after the carnage gets published here. Kinda like evolution - only the strongest stories survive. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at stars. (Sig best viewed with Firefox)
Beringe	Posted - 2005.10.19 02:31:00 - [312] It's not a matter of "hate", but if you are looking into the small details, and trying to polish your stuff... The Admiral immedately believing it was Istvaan Shogaatsu is just a bit overdone It does rely quite a bit on people being familiar with the characters from the Intergalacti Summit (or elsewhere), but then I think that is at least partially appropriate. Perhaps you could spend some more time introducing them (I love how you manage to sound just like those characters, though)? I think you should be thinking 'less is more' when it comes to Istvaan himself. Personally, I think that Hamish should be more central in his own saga. On the other hand... Your control of the english language is impressive The stylish descriptions make a nice trade-mark. This is actually a two-bladed sword, but so far it's not cutting you. "Still, there was something about the intensity radiating from the stitch-ridden ghastÆs piercing eyes that foreshadowed this was no ploy." - a prime example. Over the top, but so is Golan, who fits the line pretty well. It just drips atmosphere... "...A conservatively dressed Amarr gentleman stuck out most of all, dancing stiffly with an olive-skinned girl as though he had a broomstick wedged in his unmentionables; in the corner, a raucous mob of Serpentis smuggler-captains hailing from the savage Fountain region made sure to let the rest of the club know how much fun they were having...." and "TrevizeÆs eyebrows shot up like Venetian blinds. ôSlaver hounds?ö Jackpot, thought Istvaan" are amongst my favorite (fractions of) parts from the text, for those very reasons. I hope I don't come off as some sort of poncey ******, writing these comments. I do have some editorial experience, and am honestly trying to give you useful feedback. Otherwise, I'd just stick to the "Great work! Keep it up!"...and I'd mean that. Sincerely. ------------------------------------------- Sometimes, I wake up but keep on dreaming.*
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.10.19 16:09:00 - [313] Edited by: Istvaan Shogaatsu on 19/10/2005 16:11:40 Now that's the sorta feedback I treasure, Beringe. Thanks. I know this chapter felt kinda rushed, just wanted to squeeze it out and appease people, I'll keep the notes in mind for whatever comes next though ;) As for the Admiral being convinced too quickly, I figured the fact that he had foreknowledge of the Shogaatsu character from his own time in the Empire, and wasn't entirely dead-set on killing him when he set out to reclaim his medal - all it took was a bit of face-to-face convincing on my character's part. Plus that segment was starting to drag on, I never planned on it being quite so elaborate.
Beringe	Posted - 2005.10.22 07:45:00 - [314] Edited by: Beringe on 22/10/2005 07:47:57 I was readily able to believe that Golan would take this action, actually. The problem was largely that people that didn't know the admiral would, by just reading the story. It's not exactly a weakness - the saga builds upon a certain amount of pre-knowledge. Nothing ever happens in a vacuum. Dostoyevsky probably taught that lesson best. Edit: Dostoyevsky is hard to spell right. ------------------------------------------- Sometimes, I wake up but keep on dreaming.
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.10.24 15:42:00 - [315] Well, recently we committed another one of our charming crimes - a lot of folks believed it was a staged RP event and not an actual theft, so I went ahead and wrote a little 'interlude' article, putting an RP spin on the affair. One should keep in mind that my 'interludes' are generally based on in-game events ;) Interlude - Hijacked!
Darius Shakor	Posted - 2005.10.24 16:22:00 - [316] Great stuff Isty, as always. I think this was what Tyrrax was telling me about at the FF too. Shame you were not there. Maybe next year. ------ Pain is meant to be felt. It is meant to exist.
Handon Guild	Posted - 2005.10.26 11:43:00 - [317] Originally by: Raem Civrie Edited by: Raem Civrie on 08/04/2004 17:14:19 HG! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE NINE OF YOUR BABIES! Should I be worried? ------------------------------------------------ A day of fun in Denmark
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.11.04 19:52:00 - [318] Naw. My cursed seed is in very high demand. Some believe it is the key to unleashing the Antichrist.
Gloomash	Posted - 2005.11.04 20:31:00 - [319] Indeed a very good read Mr Shogaatsu.
Seleene	Posted - 2005.11.05 19:02:00 - [320] Originally by: Raem Civrie HG! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE NINE OF YOUR BABIES! Step off, you pretty boy meat puppet! He's mine! - 'You have foolishly engaged the MC in Empire space. Prepare to suffer the consequences!'
Jorel	Posted - 2005.11.15 21:43:00 - [321] Originally by: Seleene Originally by: Raem Civrie HG! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE NINE OF YOUR BABIES! Step off, you pretty boy meat puppet! He's mine! I don't think you're on the list of people who can lay claim to that sexy beast!
keepiru	Posted - 2005.11.17 03:33:00 - [322] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Some believe it is the key to unleashing the Antichrist. I heard that on Radio Satan ;o ------------- Where are the named 800mm Plates and Mega Ions, CCP?
Seleene	Posted - 2005.11.17 08:58:00 - [323] Originally by: Jorel Originally by: Seleene Originally by: Raem Civrie HG! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE NINE OF YOUR BABIES! Step off, you pretty boy meat puppet! He's mine! I don't think you're on the list of people who can lay claim to that sexy beast! You think you're in on all the secrets, do you? - The REAL Eve Political Map!
Jorel	Posted - 2005.11.18 09:15:00 - [324] Originally by: Seleene Originally by: Jorel Originally by: Seleene Originally by: Raem Civrie HG! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE NINE OF YOUR BABIES! Step off, you pretty boy meat puppet! He's mine! I don't think you're on the list of people who can lay claim to that sexy beast! You think you're in on all the secrets, do you? More than you think
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.11.30 21:22:00 - [325] Edited by: Istvaan Shogaatsu on 30/11/2005 21:24:43 I have added a little taste of what lies in the future, a diagram of the innards of the Imperial Apocalypse which has starred in some of my stories. As some of you surmised from Hamish blowing his brains out, the Hamish Saga is now coming to a close. Assuming I'm still alive and motivated to keep writing, stay tuned to these forums and watch for the first chapter of the Chorus of Angels Saga. Taking place almost entirely aboard the infamous warship of the same name, and introducing two new protagonists, the fanfic series will be hosted on the upcoming Eve-News portal. FULLY EQUIPPED CALDARI NAVY RAVEN UP FOR AUCTION.
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2005.11.30 21:29:00 - [326] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu I have added a little taste of what lies in the future, a diagram of the innards of the Imperial Apocalypse which has starred in some of my stories. Lovely! Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu the Hamish Saga is now coming to a close. Does that mean "is finished", or "has one final chapter/epilogue/afterword/whatever"? Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu Assuming I'm still alive and motivated to keep writing, stay tuned to these forums and watch for the first chapter of the Chorus of Angels Saga. Taking place almost entirely aboard the infamous warship of the same name, and introducing two new protagonists, the fanfic series will be hosted on the upcoming Eve-News portal. Can't wait! --------------------------------[04:04:04] Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2005.12.01 17:35:00 - [327] Originally by: Nikolai Nuvolari Does that mean "is finished", or "has one final chapter/epilogue/afterword/whatever"? It's probably finished now. The CoA Saga will pick up rather seamlessly where the Hamish fanfic left off, though. FULLY EQUIPPED CALDARI NAVY RAVEN UP FOR AUCTION.
keepiru	Posted - 2005.12.03 22:20:00 - [328] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu I have added a little taste of what lies in the future, a diagram of the innards of the Imperial Apocalypse which has starred in some of my stories. Nifty :o ------------- Where are the named 800mm Plates and Mega Ions, CCP?
Hamish	Posted - 2005.12.11 05:59:00 - [329] :( But but but .. Oh well you can squeeze it into the new Saga I guess. The Hamish Saga
Narcissus	Posted - 2005.12.20 11:03:00 - [330] That tech schematic of the Chorus of Angels owns, really good job.

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