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Any interesting / funny quotes you've read or heard

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Elora Danzik Caldari Idiots In Spaceships Psychotic Tendencies.	Posted - 2009.04.28 17:43:00 - [1] My current favorite from Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore. ' The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" "Does a fish have a watertight *****?" said Coyote. The monk turned to the trickster and bowed. "You are wise," he said. ' As the curse filter will catch it.. the * is another name for a donkey. Any others?
Onus Mian Amarr Kingfisher Industries	Posted - 2009.04.28 18:05:00 - [2] Whole scene of em from Red Dwarf My favourite is the light bulb one Rimmer "Step up to red alert!" Kryton "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb" ---- Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? - Douglas Adams
Kaidem Minmatar Black Rebellion	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:00:00 - [3] NO U! BECAUSE OF FALCON Over 9000!!! This will be dealt with .
jason hill Caldari Clan Shadow Wolf Sylph Alliance	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:01:00 - [4] its not a bug ....its a feature ! destroy everything you touch
Xen Gin Solar Excavations Ultd. Black Sun Alliance	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:02:00 - [5] Edited by: Xen Gin on 28/04/2009 19:02:22 It's not interesting per sT, but it is funny, funny that it's always completely used wrongly by certain people. "Burglurization"
BlackDragonShadow Caldari	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:21:00 - [6] "Don't argue with stupid people, they'll bring you down to their level and beat you with experiance." ~ Anonymous "That's the kind of philosophical quandry that can only be solved with a strip tease." ~8-Bit Theater "I feel sorry for people that don't drink because how they feel in the morning is the best their going to feel all day." ~ No idea "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." ~Stephen Bishop "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." ~ Winston Churchill "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." ~Mark Twain "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." ~Ford Prefect "My take on life is: 1) its sexually transmitted 2) its always fatal" ~Taba "The good die young, but *****s live FOREVER!" ~Lewis Black "The very existence of Flame Throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." ~ George Carlin "Lies are just creative truths." ~8-bit "There are no stupid questions but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots." ~Demotivational Posters "A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on to long." ~Sven "YOU'RE JUST A PIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION LIKE BLEEN OR GURPLE!" ~Fighter "JA-pan. That's a country in Not-America." ~Mr. Larity from Code Monkey's Touched by his noodly appendage. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Istvaan Shogaatsu Caldari Guiding Hand Social Club	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:25:00 - [7] "An army of lions led by sheep will fall to an army of sheep led by a lion."
Elora Danzik Caldari Idiots In Spaceships Psychotic Tendencies.	Posted - 2009.04.28 19:54:00 - [8] These are great keep em coming.
Karma Vortex Incorporated	Posted - 2009.04.28 20:39:00 - [9] "B-52, Makin' wastelands since the 1960's" "I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it." - Jonathan Winters "high goals attract good company" "My name was Susan Frame. I am a lawyer. I met and married Robert who is a banker. His surname is Mee. Now we are Sue Mee, a lawyer, and Rob Mee, a banker - ironic? I have taken no end of stick for this, believe me." - Susan Mee, Doncaster "Everything was better back when everything was worse" "It looks so great, I can't wait to be disappointed" - The Paradoxi of choice "don't mess with the nation that needs medication" - Christopher Titus "It looks like a hideous monster, but there's really a sweet little girl deep down inside. In its stomach." Bubblegum Crisis: As the creators explain, a bubblegum crisis is a bad situation that just keeps expanding until it pops and leaves a mess all over the place. "when it comes to charity, a lot of people will stop at nothing" "it has been pointed out to some of us that EVE has a mildly steep learning... cliff" - Torfi Frans +lafsson - Producer of EVE Online "What doesn't break you... will try again later" "sometimes the bottom of the barrel, takes up 99% of the barrel" - Jonas Malml÷f "Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be true." "I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. " "It is the direction and not the magnitude which is to be taken into consideration. " "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value." -- Thomas Paine Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. "Time flies like an Arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." -- Groucho "Additional grass areas have been added to the enemy faction's zones. This grass is exceptionally green." - Fake WoW Patchnotes hmmm... i think that'll do, for now.. I'll just end off with - not so much of a quote - but a mental image to ponder: 14:44:16 Notify Your cloaking systems are unable to activate due to your ship being within 2000 meters of the nearby Cruise Missile.
BlackDragonShadow Caldari	Posted - 2009.04.28 21:00:00 - [10] Quote: 14:44:16 Notify Your cloaking systems are unable to activate due to your ship being within 2000 meters of the nearby Cruise Missile. Lol Touched by his noodly appendage. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Grek Forto Malevolent Intentions	Posted - 2009.04.28 21:14:00 - [11] "We don't ask a lot from our movies. A nice story, maybe with some sex, violence and Batman thrown in." "While dentists are happy to quickly and efficiently alleviate your pain, they like to tack on a hefty fee and really, what do you get for your money? The ability to eat and sleep and not be in excruciating agony? Pfft, that's clown shoes."
K1K1R1K1 Minmatar Brutor tribe	Posted - 2009.04.28 21:35:00 - [12] "An assault rifle: When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every damn person in the room accept noooooo substitutes." Caleb - Blood 2 "AND THERE'S A TRUCK LEAVING!!! AND IN THAT TRUCK IS EITHER A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, OR, brrllbrblrlblr, ICECREAM!" Lewis Black "Isn't one-and-only supposed to be, like, one? And only?" J.D. - Saving Silverman "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." random quote _______________________________________ Don't worry aboutit.
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2009.04.28 21:37:00 - [13] "Good.... bad... I'm the guy with the gun" Pomp FTW!!!
Korrakas Caldari Legion of Ascension Beyond Ascension	Posted - 2009.04.28 21:50:00 - [14] As I walk through the valley of death I fear no one, for I am the meanest mother**er in the valley ! G.S.Patton As we roam through nullsec we fear no one, for we are the meanest motherers in nullsec ! My Fc Originally by:** CCP Mitnal I don't have holidays. I don't leave the forums unattended. I don't sleep. I am always here. Watching. Waiting.
DuffmanPeter Perpetua Umbra The Last Brigade	Posted - 2009.04.28 22:03:00 - [15] Edited by: DuffmanPeter on 28/04/2009 22:04:53 Many Simpsons ones "Gandhi said non violent resistance is the answer." -Lisa "Gandhi also said:less talk more rock" -Bart "Oooh a time machine....Time to get me some caveman hookers" -Moe "Take that you lousy dimension" Fires many bullets into dimensional rift -Chief Wiggum "The network slogan is true. Watch FOX and be damned for all eternity" -Flanders from Simpsons "I accidentily ran over his dog. But replace ran over with repeatedly ran over and replace dog with son." -Lionel Hutts from Simpsons Baseball: If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~Rogers Hornsby Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated. ~Author Unknown seriously cool one: "Si monumentum requiris circumspice" If you seek his monument look around you. Imply or Implode? There are many Duffman, don't tell the children... It's disillusioning! Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!
Mikal Drey Atlas Alliance	Posted - 2009.04.28 22:10:00 - [16] hey hey http://futurama.tribe.net/thread/049dd1f9-b39f-4d6e-a616-135c97c0ce69 pretty much everythign Zap Brannigan says :) DEATH BY SNOO SNOOOOO ! Shattered Crystal - 60 day GTC Battle Clinic - 60 Day GTC
Zaiyo Modi Minmatar Republic University	Posted - 2009.04.28 22:29:00 - [17] "Animals are beasts, but men are monsters." Wallace Sebastian Blount: Blueberry 2004
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2009.04.28 22:44:00 - [18] "Baseball is wrong, man with 4 balls cannot walk" Pomp FTW!!!
Meiyang Lee Gallente Azteca Transportation Unlimited Gunboat Diplomacy	Posted - 2009.04.28 22:54:00 - [19] Edited by: Meiyang Lee on 28/04/2009 22:56:49 Rule #1: Pillage, then burn. Rule #4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins. Rule #6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. Rule #8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. Rule #9: Never turn your back on an enemy. Rule #10: Sometimes the only way out is through...through the hull Rule #11: Everything is air-droppable at least once Rule #12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. Rule #13: Do unto others. Rule #16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. Rule #27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. Rule #29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less. Rule #30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. Rule #31: Only cheaters prosper. Rule #34: If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. Rule #35: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error. Rule #36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. Rule #37: There is no ôoverkillö. There is only ôopen fireö and ôI need to reloadö. -Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (Schlock Mercenary)
Ealiom Blackhole Militia	Posted - 2009.04.29 08:33:00 - [20] The mind is it's own place; and within itself can create a hell of heaven and a heaven of hell John Milton Paradise Lost Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies. Much better you than I. Blackbird Executioner
Brolly Caldari Caldari State Inc. People for Organised Peace	Posted - 2009.04.29 09:06:00 - [21] 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. Malaclypse the Younger
Moejdal	Posted - 2009.04.29 09:50:00 - [22] Yo dawg.
TraininVain	Posted - 2009.04.29 12:06:00 - [23] Quote: "I feel sorry for people that don't drink because how they feel in the morning is the best their going to feel all day." ~ No idea That's either Frank or Dean.
Elora Danzik Caldari Idiots In Spaceships Psychotic Tendencies.	Posted - 2009.04.29 14:28:00 - [24] Originally by: Meiyang Lee Edited by: Meiyang Lee on 28/04/2009 22:56:49 Rule #35: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error. [/*] -Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (Schlock Mercenary) I love this one. Kinda applies to the kills I got last night.
Ratchman	Posted - 2009.04.29 14:45:00 - [25] From the Simpsons: "What is the fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?" - Chief Wiggum And a quote I particularly like from Churchill: Female MP: "You, sir, are drunk." Churchill: "That may be so madam, but you are ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning."
Emma Peil	Posted - 2009.04.30 10:38:00 - [26] Edited by: Emma Peil on 30/04/2009 10:42:00 Edited by: Emma Peil on 30/04/2009 10:39:59 Best video game quote: *I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights are out.* ~ Jeanette!
HankMurphy Minmatar Pelennor Enterprises	Posted - 2009.04.30 11:45:00 - [27] Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. George Carlin People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. George Carlin The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't. Mark Twain In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language. Mark Twain It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress. Mark Twain It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Mark Twain The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. Mark Twain All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. Mark Twain basically anything from mark twain or george carlin is epic win
stoicfaux	Posted - 2009.04.30 13:49:00 - [28] Si vis pacem, para bellum. "If you want peace, prepare for war."
Lysit Kaune Minmatar Band Of Bonkers	Posted - 2009.04.30 14:17:00 - [29] "The enemy of my enemy is next on the list." General quote from me and a bunch of mates when we play risk.
Irida Mershkov Gallente War is Bliss	Posted - 2009.04.30 14:30:00 - [30] Edited by: Irida Mershkov on 30/04/2009 14:31:28 Anything from a Terry Pratchett novel. 'Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.' - 'Albert: 'Never say die, master. That's our motto, eh?' Death: I CAN'T SAY IT'S EVER REALLY BEEN MINE.' - 'If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you are going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat. They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.' - A personal fave: It was a beguiling theory that might have arisen in the minds of Wiglet and Waddy and, yes, even in the not overly exercised mind of Fred Colon, and as far as Vimes could understand it, it went like this: 1. Supposing the area behind the barricades was bigger than the area in front of the barricades, right? 2. Like, sort of, it had more people in it and more of the city, if you follow me. 3. Then, correct me if I'm wrong, sarge, but that'd mean in a manner of speaking we are now in front of the barricades, am I right? 4. Then, as it were, it's not like we're rebellin', is it? 'cos there's more of us, so the majority can't rebel, it stands to reason. 5. So that makes us the good guys. Obviously we've been the good guys all along, but now it'd be kind of official, right? Like, mathematical? 6. So we thought we'd push on to Short Street and then we could nip down into Dimwell and up the other side of the river... 7. Are we going to get into trouble for this, sarge? 8. You're looking at me in a funny way, sarge. 9. Sorry, sarge. - 'Come on, Mr Spangler, you don't want me to get into trouble, do you?' said the hangman, patting him on the shoulder. 'Just a few words and then we can all get on with our lives. Present company excepted, obviously.' - Death: THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER, YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE. Edit: One more. "Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms, in the dark and based on bull**."

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