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Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 06:46:00 - [1] Ok you little **bags, today im going to teach you how to make bacon chicken, heres what you need 6 boneless chicken breasts, if you get frozen onea i will backhand you nancy a stick of butter, no your not going to use the whole thing bacon, dont go over 5 strips you fat bastard one large onion, self explanatory, hard for you to up 2 whole garlic, i swear to god if you get that freeze dried, or crap that comes in a can i will ing you now, get a pan, a big one and make sure is shallow, turn on your stove to medium high, put some butter in, it dosent ing matter how much just dont use the whole god damn stick fatty. now sear your chicken until its almost done, dont you dare fully cook it in the pan or you will destroy the meal you moron. now when thats done put the chicken on a baking sheet so that the chicken is touching, dont ask why you will find out soon you impatient bastard, take your onion, chop it and try not to cut your finger off, dice your garlic as well, you damn well better have peeled them both before you did this or i will beat the hell out of you take your bacon and cook it in the same pan as the chicken until its very crunchy, take it out set it aside to cool unless you like second degree burns you dumbass, put the garlic and onion in the pan, did i tell you to drain the bacon grease? no so you better not have done it, cook until the onion is soft, take the bacon crumble it up and put it in the pan with the onions and mix, then spread evenly on top of the chicken, at this point you can put cheese on top if you want to because you like being a fat dont you, of course you do preheat the god damn oven to 375 insert your thermometer..you do have an oven safe thermometer right? god damn your a **, cook it for 15 minutes and not a god damn minute more or less or i will ing destroy you, or if your not a total moron and have a thermometer, until the internal temp of the chicken reaches 190, go higher and it will dry our and you will look like a **tard. serve over rice and with a pale ale or red wine.
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2010.07.08 06:54:00 - [2] Now to those of us that are high can you make a short version? Originally by: captain foivos It's not griefing, it's surprise PvP.
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 06:56:00 - [3] Originally by: Intense Thinker Now to those of us that are high can you make a short version? put penutbutter and jelly on toast, get a second peice of toast, smash together, consume
Intense Thinker Minmatar	Posted - 2010.07.08 07:01:00 - [4] Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Intense Thinker Now to those of us that are high can you make a short version? put penutbutter and jelly on toast, get a second peice of toast, smash together, consume Sounds great Originally by: captain foivos It's not griefing, it's surprise PvP.
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 07:18:00 - [5] Originally by: Arvald preheat the god damn oven to 375 Whats that in celsius?
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 07:26:00 - [6] Edited by: Arvald on 08/07/2010 07:26:41 Originally by: Scorpionidae Originally by: Arvald preheat the god damn oven to 375 Whats that in celsius? 190
Sturmwolke	Posted - 2010.07.08 08:35:00 - [7] Gonna crash this thread Coffee drinkers! Hear ye! hear ye! For a smoother cuppa, put some eggshells in your coffee. There's a scientific reasoning behind that, but I'm not gonna bore you all with the sciencewhatchamacallit. For interesting flavour variations, boil your eggshells with whatever - cinnamon, vanilla etc etc. to impart the subtle flavour. That is all.
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 08:40:00 - [8] Edited by: Arvald on 08/07/2010 08:41:00 Originally by: Sturmwolke Gonna crash this thread Coffee drinkers! Hear ye! hear ye! For a smoother cuppa, put some eggshells in your coffee. There's a scientific reasoning behind that, but I'm not gonna bore you all with the sciencewhatchamacallit. For interesting flavour variations, boil your eggshells with whatever - cinnamon, vanilla etc etc. to impart the subtle flavour. That is all. hey ***bag this is my thread /me pokes sturn with a stick get your own .good advice though, thanks also tomorrow we got some mother **ing grilled tilapia with baked potatoes for you, so dont plan lunch yet you asshats.
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 10:45:00 - [9] Arvald whats your profesion?
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 11:00:00 - [10] Originally by: Scorpionidae Arvald whats your profesion? computer tech with a flair for culinary arts

Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 11:40:00 - [11] Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Scorpionidae Arvald whats your profesion? computer tech with a flair for culinary arts Cool. I just finnished my first year of catering at college. So seeing what other people make is really cool to me.
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 11:45:00 - [12] Originally by: Scorpionidae Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Scorpionidae Arvald whats your profesion? computer tech with a flair for culinary arts Cool. I just finnished my first year of catering at college. So seeing what other people make is really cool to me. im actaully going to be going to school within the next month for culinary arts (i hope), seeing as how you were in a similar program, anything specific i should expect?
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 11:56:00 - [13] Edited by: Scorpionidae on 08/07/2010 11:59:33 Edited by: Scorpionidae on 08/07/2010 11:57:34 Lots of shouting. People who don't know what the hell they are doing. And a big bill for all the equipment the you will need to buy. The cooking I have no truble with cos I love it (and have talent :P) but that may be differnet for others.
Kendar Gallente 4S Corporation Morsus Mihi	Posted - 2010.07.08 11:59:00 - [14] Peanutbutterjellytime?
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:01:00 - [15] Alright **monglers, its time from another recipe, so pay the attention, put on your apron or tuck your towel into your belt, and get the hell into the kitchen you nancy today were going to be making some mother ing grilled tilapia with some god damn baked potatoes. what you need as many tilapia fillets as you want fat high quality virgin olive oil dont use the cheap crap you son of a *, it tastes like zesty lemon seasoning or lemon pepper seasoning and ground garlic seasoning as well as dillweed for the potatoes 6 large baking potatoes first off, get the coals going on your charcoal grill, using a gas grill? you, get a charcoal one take your tilapia , put it on a piece of foil, i didnt tell you you need foil you say? you, you should always have foil if you cook a lot dumbass now shut the hell up and listen, brush the fish with olive oil, then season with garlic and your lemon seasoning, use any other kind of seasoning and i will come to your house, burn it down, your grandmother, and staple your god damn feet to your tongue. wrap the fish tightly in the foil, if you dont it will burn and you will have to go eat at a ty chinese restaurant that will probably serve you rabid cat or something. after you do that, take your potatoes, and listen the up because these arent your normal boring ass potatoes, these are you awesome potatoes that will fill your meaningless ty life with hope and joy, peel half the potato..no not horizontally you lwad vertically, so that the peeled side will be facing up, now take a really ing sharp knife and carefully start cutting slits in the top, you want them to be about half as wide as your pinky, the reason i told you to get six potatoes is because you just ed one up didnt you, take the one you just ing sliced in half and shove it in your ass. after you slice the potatoes take your olive oil, pour some in a bowl, add your dill seasoning, and dip the peeled part of the potatoes in them so it gets a nice coating, set the potatoes on a baking sheet, turn your oven on to 400 put the potatoes in for an hour and check them, they need to be crunchy on the top and soft in the middle, dont it up you bag your coals should be nice and hot after about 20 to 30 minutes take your fish out to the grill and cook them till they are flaky, that god damn simple unwrap eat and get on your your **ing boring life serve with wild rice or peas, and goes well with white wine or a light beer
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:10:00 - [16] Edited by: Scorpionidae on 08/07/2010 12:10:30 Nice. And I like the comodey you bring with it.
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:12:00 - [17] Originally by: Scorpionidae Edited by: Scorpionidae on 08/07/2010 12:10:30 Nice. And I like the comodey you bring with it. thank you, iw as going for **ed off chef, but thought i might be pulling off ****ed /b/tard at best
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:21:00 - [18] because i know you disgusting fat sons of ***es love bacon and candy, im going to teach you how to make some candied bacon you disgusting person take your bacon take some brown sugar rub the brown sugar all over the bacon, really get it the ** on there heat your oven to 400 convection but the bacon in cook it until its as done as you like scarf it down, jesus i can hear you getting fatter goes well with your self esteem and your dignity you fat bastard
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:23:00 - [19] Originally by: Arvald because i know you disgusting fat sons of ***es love bacon and candy, im going to teach you how to make some candied bacon you disgusting person take your bacon take some brown sugar rub the brown sugar all over the bacon, really get it the ** on there heat your oven to 400 convection but the bacon in cook it until its as done as you like scarf it down, jesus i can hear you getting fatter goes well with your self esteem and your dignity you fat bastard That sounds disgusting.
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:26:00 - [20] Originally by: Scorpionidae Originally by: Arvald because i know you disgusting fat sons of ***es love bacon and candy, im going to teach you how to make some candied bacon you disgusting person take your bacon take some brown sugar rub the brown sugar all over the bacon, really get it the on there heat your oven to 400 convection but the bacon in cook it until its as done as you like scarf it down, jesus i can hear you getting fatter goes well with your self esteem and your dignity you fat bastard That sounds disgusting. its **ing sweet bacony goodness

Digital Solaris	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:49:00 - [21] Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Scorpionidae Originally by: Arvald because i know you disgusting fat sons of ***es love bacon and candy, im going to teach you how to make some candied bacon you disgusting person take your bacon take some brown sugar rub the brown sugar all over the bacon, really get it the on there heat your oven to 400 convection but the bacon in cook it until its as done as you like scarf it down, jesus i can hear you getting fatter goes well with your self esteem and your dignity you fat bastard That sounds disgusting. its **ing sweet bacony goodness no wonder why you so fat piggie
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 12:54:00 - [22] Originally by: Digital Solaris Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Scorpionidae Originally by: Arvald because i know you disgusting fat sons of ***es love bacon and candy, im going to teach you how to make some candied bacon you disgusting person take your bacon take some brown sugar rub the brown sugar all over the bacon, really get it the on there heat your oven to 400 convection but the bacon in cook it until its as done as you like scarf it down, jesus i can hear you getting fatter goes well with your self esteem and your dignity you fat bastard That sounds disgusting. its **ing sweet bacony goodness no wonder why you so fat piggie bite me im a sexy 6 foot 4 and 220lb, if i were any thinner id look like one of those emo pansys, as it is i look like a god damn lumberjack viking
Digital Solaris	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:01:00 - [23] Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Digital Solaris Originally by: Arvald its ****ing sweet bacony goodness no wonder why you so fat piggie bite me im a beasty 5 foot 4 and 620lb, if i were any fatter id look like one of those with issues, as it is i look like a god damn ball of living lard fixed for you
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:02:00 - [24] Steak, the right god damn way this is how you cook steak the right way, not those pansy ass little **ers that are all dried out and dont even fill you up a third of the wya, im talking about a big ol you kinda steak, one that will make even a vegans mouth water what you need 5 big god damn marbled steaks 2 medium yellow onions 2 clove garlic ground clove half stick of butter bit of olive oil smoky misquote meat rub take your steaks and 24h before your going to cook them, rum them with the meat rub..yeah you like rubbin that meat dont ya pansy let them sit in the fridge for a day, i know its tempting but restrain your fat self and wait now take your steaks and throw em on the charcoal grill, gas charcoal makes the meat taste awesome, cook them just so that they are pink ,not blood red on the inside, and then take those **ers into the kitchen in a pan pour a bit of olive oil and heat it up then throw your half stick of butter in and wait for it to melt, then dice your onion and garlic and throw those bastards in there, this is where the ground clove comes in, it adds a very pleasant aroma to the meal and a nice spice aftertaste, one pinch if you want to barely be able to detect the smell two if you want it more pronounced, after the onion becomes soft, spoon over the steak and serve serve with a leafy veggie or mashed taters, goes well with red wine, brandy or a stout ale
Digital Solaris	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:16:00 - [25] :effort: I'll just go with a salad instead than jump onto the cholesterol train to fatty town.
Faekurias Origin. Black Legion.	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:19:00 - [26] Got anything a bit more green and healthy in store for us who aren't big fat Americans?
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:26:00 - [27] Originally by: Faekurias Got anything a bit more green and healthy in store for us who aren't big fat Americans? baked chicken and white rice im **ing tired and am about to go grocery shopping for the week so ill make this one quick 5 chicken breasts peppercorn grinder olive oil marjoram leaves some kind of instant white rice preheat your oven to 375 convection and you god damn better have your oven thermometer this time take your thawed chicken put it on a baking sheet mix some olive oil, just enough to coat the chicken, and pout it into a bowl, put a dash of marjoram into the oil, and take your peppercorn grinder, set it so that you get really big ass chunks and grind a **load of it into the olive oil take your cooking brush and coat the top side of the chicken with the glaze, put it in the oven until the internal temp of the chicken reaches 190 cook the rice serve the chicken on a bed of rice with a veggie of your choosing goes well with anything that is not carbonated.
Faekurias Origin. Black Legion.	Posted - 2010.07.08 13:59:00 - [28] <3 thanks (I'm not always creative enough to think out interesting stuff myself and usually end up with a salad with chicken on the side huhu)
Arvald Caldari The Lumberjacks	Posted - 2010.07.08 15:40:00 - [29] Edited by: Arvald on 08/07/2010 15:41:06 ive got a few more recipes here for nancies that cant take their cholesterol (just in case some dumb** decides to take me seriously here, i rarely ever eat most of the stuff im posting in this thread, usually just some kind of baked meat, rice and veggies, if your stupid enough to eat like this more than once every other week, you deserve the heart attack you get tard) simple pasta with some ing tomato sauce you gaywad what you need a package of ing pasta any kind you want, just dont get ravioli or i will take the entire package and shove it up your ass for being the er you are a can of plain tomato sauce, dont you get one that is already seasoned or has meat in it, you you fat motherer, that has so much sodium in it its not even funny pop over to your spice cabinet, dont have one? you, you should if you want to cook, pull out your rosemary, paprika, ground garlic and your sea salt grinder, if you try to use that iodized cluster of a salt product, i will kill you, simple as that take a pot...no bigger than that you **, good, now fill it with water...not to the top bag its going to boil, give it enough room to do so without boiling over..christ your a morn put a bit of olive oil in, and let the ing water boil, be patient you asshat if you put your pasta in before the water boils you will kill everyone you have ever known and cared about..ive seen it happen before dont test the pasta now the water is boiling, put your pasta in, cook it until its slightly hard in the middle, dont ing let it get all soft and mushy, ing tastes like your eating hot worms you sick . when the pasta is done take your strainer and get rid of all the water, transfer the pasta back into the pot...turn off the oven you munch or its going to burn..good tard, put some butter in with the pasta as it will keep it from sticking together too much now for the sauce, get another pot put the sauce in and heat it up a bit, start adding spices just a little at a time or else its going to taste like and you may have to end yourself, taste it after you mix in some spices until its to your liking, heat it up that god damn simple you inbred, now eat your ing pasta. serve with bread, goes well with...whatever ing wine they drink in italy, i dont ing know....vodka there ya go down a half tankard of vodka then eat your **ing pasta, im going to go take a nap...asshats
Scorpionidae	Posted - 2010.07.08 19:07:00 - [30] Very nice sounding stuff there Arvald. Oh and I just went to my awords thingy and I got the most outstanding certificat <-- thats not spelt right (like most of the words I write) in my corse which I think means that my teacher thinks I'm the best.



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