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Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.09 14:29:00 - [1] The Charles Ponzi School of Business Completely Uncollateralized, Unaudited, Very Complex, But Actually Not Fraudulent Investment System is a system of investments that are designed uniquely be Win-Win-Win for investors, the manager, and customers. And by "Win", I mean "Make Tons of Money". And by "Make Tons of Money" I mean "Make whatever interest rate you bid on this". This is the first of the bonds issued. Hence the title "Bond #1". I know that's enough for some of you, but for the rest, continue reading. tl;dr I'm selling bonds that I'm going to be reinvesting in Goonswarm investments that you people just don't have access to. Each bond is worth 100 Million isk, and will receive an interest payment once a month. Probably on or about the 15th of every month. I can call your bond at any time. You'll get paid the interest for that month in full if I do. Summary Ever since my first post ever on these boards I've talked about the interest rate differential between the rates offered on this board, and on the rates on investments on my alliance's private boards. I will be taking investments from you, the public, at a lower rate then I will be lending it internally. Current unsecured rates within my alliance tend to hover in the 10% range, with an almost zero default rate. Secured rates are similar, and we have a selection of bonds that have been issued at rates between 5% and 10%. I plan on taking the public's low interest rate money and investing this at a higher rate. Keeping whats left for myself. As such, I'm going to be placing an upper interest rate limit at 7% on these bonds. Also, I've borrowed money before. Investment Structure: All bonds will be held on my ledger, and will pay interest once a month, beginning in March of 2011. At any point I may issue in game shares to registered holders, but at this time, there are no plans to do such. Five Billion isk in bonds will be issued. Alts: I am the following people: Kalrand, Bernie Ebbers, Fourscore, Kal'tr'zed Hapmatpur, Randlak, and Doctor Kal. Please note that Karland is someone else and when people from Market Discussions have approached him in the past, he's given them grammatically incorrect and often quite hostile responses. I use capitalization and punctuation. Know who you give money to. Trading Bonds: Bonds can be traded by making a post by both parties in this thread, or in the event that this thread is locked, the most recent update thread. Please don't transfer any money until you see an acknowledgment from me. Any disputes will be sorted out by me by taking a look at someone's API. If neither party is willing or able to furnish an API capable of showing a payment in either assets or cash, then the current bond holder will remain the bond holder of record. You don't need to give me an API unless someone starts whining that you stole their money. And realistically, it'll be their API, since they're whining.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.09 14:29:00 - [2] Warnings: Please don't send things to Goons offering to sell you bonds or shares without first checking with me. You're probably going to lose your money, and if you ignore everything I say here I'm not going to go on some diplomatically difficult internet crusade to get your money back for you. I will not be reimbursing anyone for anything stolen, defrauded, or otherwise illicitly acquired by anyone but myself. But then again if I stole something from you, I would highly recommend not giving me more of your money. Please note that this includes disagreements of investment terms ("Disputes"), cases of notorious theft (Bad Bobby), and cases where you really should have just seen it coming (Goonswarm Recruitment Deposits). I am not going to play internet sheriff. My investors are my investors, and I will not hold anyone's investment hostage without their permission. Other Things: 1) I am a Goon. 2) My corp's ticker is "SCAMU". 3) Bernie Ebbers is named after Bernie Ebbers. 4) Charles Ponzi was the guy who came up with a the Ponzi Scheme. You might notice the similarity in names. Please don't post here that this is news to you. Unless you didn't read this far. Which you probably didn't. Interest Rate Bidding, Reservations, and Payment: Since I don't know what the right rate for this is, I'll let you people pick. Please make reservations below. Priority will be given as follows: First to people offering the lowest rate, second to people making larger investments, third to people that I like. Who I like is completely arbitrary, and entirely up to me. This will go as long as it appears that there are active bidders. At some point I will give an end time, and ask you to start sending isk to "RANDLAK", a character in the Charles Ponzi School of Business. That's how you actually get on the ledger to get paid. If you randomly pay someone else, you're an idiot, and I won't help you convince them to give you your money back.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.09 14:30:00 - [3] Current Reservations and Rates:
Caldariftw123	Posted - 2011.02.09 14:50:00 - [4] Goons goons! Scam goons! Rabble rabble. Bernie Ebbers is a scammer IRL you idolize scammers! Next post after me should probably continue the rabble, then the third post should be some known-goon-scammer to post in response then go "OOPS I accidentally with the wrong character" and thus the troll-circle will be complete. TBH if anyone can connect MD to goons and make it work, it is you Kalrand. To cash in your 'rep' now for 5billion isk or whatever, when I know you could access much more and make much more profit being the liaison rather than "just another goon scammer" .. Fingers crossed anyway though. MD has been quiet lately with a lack of decent opportunities.
RAW23	Posted - 2011.02.09 15:06:00 - [5] Hoping for a fake alt post from someone in IT
Gatan Hahran	Posted - 2011.02.09 15:50:00 - [6] I would take 2 bonds (200m total) with 7% interest rate. Good luck with that.
flakeys DRAMA Inc Sev3rance	Posted - 2011.02.09 15:53:00 - [7] If a goon defaults on a loan , will you still repay the investors?
Cheque Please Hot Like Mexico	Posted - 2011.02.09 16:32:00 - [8] Originally by: Kalrand Other Things: 1) I am a Goon. 2) My corp's ticker is "SCAMU". 3) Bernie Ebbers is named after Bernie Ebbers. 4) Charles Ponzi was the guy who came up with a the Ponzi Scheme. You might notice the similarity in names. Has MD gone post-modern? --- RL Meeting w/ Chribba
GreasyCarl Semah	Posted - 2011.02.09 17:00:00 - [9] I give this bond issue a rating of fff-
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.09 21:55:00 - [10] Originally by: flakeys If a goon defaults on a loan , will you still repay the investors? Yes. I am personally guaranteeing repayment of principal and interest on this bond.
Misty McGinnity	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:00:00 - [11] hmmm, i would invest if only i could sort this bond out from the many others being funded/posted daily. If only there was a complex system we could apply to it to make it possible to tell the difference. Would be quicker to grind a new rep under an alt & get the funding that way (thus making this scam harder to spot) or your left with bumping this thread & hope some noob doesn't know who Goons are & what they do best, and/or doesnt do their homework before handing isk out. Suggest making an alt, create a corp with it using the words "investment/consulting" in it. make 2-3 months worth of posts with nice advice & lots of ":)", advertise a secured loan, then a partially secured one & so on. Goons aside, Taking public isk & re-investing it in someone else's bond is stupid & a huge gamble, you are letting your reputation/oublic isk be in the hands of the ppl that you are investing in all the while not letting the public "know" anything about the isk being re-invested, far too many layers in that cake son. so on both levels, people would be pants on head stupid to invest in this "re-investment bonds" p.s. Posting the NEISIN number would raise the creditibilty of the scam, remember this for next time
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:18:00 - [12] Originally by: Misty McGinnity hmmm, i would invest if only i could sort this bond out from the many others being funded/posted daily. If only there was a complex system we could apply to it to make it possible to tell the difference. Right. People often confuse my several years of posting on this board with that of the average three week old character looking to "station trade". Originally by: Misty McGinnity Would be quicker to grind a new rep under an alt & get the funding that way (thus making this scam harder to spot) or your left with bumping this thread & hope some noob doesn't know who Goons are & what they do best, and/or doesnt do their homework before handing isk out. Anyone who doesn't know who the goons are hopefully do a bit of an eve-search. I've never tried to hide this. Originally by: Misty McGinnity Suggest making an alt, create a corp with it using the words "investment/consulting" in it. make 2-3 months worth of posts with nice advice & lots of ":)", advertise a secured loan, then a partially secured one & so on. I can tell there are several people doing that right now on this board. I'm a bit above that. Originally by: Misty McGinnity Goons aside, Taking public isk & re-investing it in someone else's bond is stupid & a huge gamble, you are letting your reputation/oublic isk be in the hands of the ppl that you are investing in all the while not letting the public "know" anything about the isk being re-invested, far too many layers in that cake son. so on both levels, people would be pants on head stupid to invest in this "re-investment bonds" If you think that I'll be just blindly reinvesting this isk into anything with a higher rate, you're wrong. My value-added here is the diligence and previous eve economic experience that I can bring to private ventures within my alliance. Originally by: Misty McGinnity p.s. Posting the NEISIN number would raise the creditibilty of the scam, remember this for next time I debated going with SOLODRAKBAN3 just to drive VV nuts that I wasn't following the right format.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:20:00 - [13] Originally by: GreasyCarl Semah I give this bond issue a rating of fff- I would be quite curious what criteria you used to come to this conclusion. Also, I missed your first post on MD, but let me welcome you to the board with this, your second.
Estel Arador	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:28:00 - [14] Originally by: Kalrand Originally by: Misty McGinnity p.s. Posting the NEISIN number would raise the creditibilty of the scam, remember this for next time I debated going with SOLODRAKBAN3 just to drive VV nuts that I wasn't following the right format. I thought CPSoBCUUVCBANF was the NEISIN number; it sure looks indistinguishable from one to me.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:34:00 - [15] Originally by: Cheque Please Originally by: Kalrand Other Things: 1) I am a Goon. 2) My corp's ticker is "SCAMU". 3) Bernie Ebbers is named after Bernie Ebbers. 4) Charles Ponzi was the guy who came up with a the Ponzi Scheme. You might notice the similarity in names. Has MD gone post-modern? You should read the text of my first offering. Actually, whats kind of cool is that no one has pointed out that I've been talking about this venture for almost two years now.
Breaker77 Gallente Reclamation Industries	Posted - 2011.02.10 01:37:00 - [16] Originally by: Kalrand Actually, whats kind of cool is that no one has pointed out that I've been talking about this venture for almost two years now. Oh no, I can recall your hour-long chats about it in Signatures Glad to see you finally taking action on it. I'd toss some ISK your way if RAW didn't own my soul
Misty McGinnity	Posted - 2011.02.10 02:54:00 - [17] Re-investing public isk into other investments is still fundamentally, a big no-no with me, reasons in my first response ^^ The rest was a Troll at you/NEISIN. which i must say, was handled by you very well, i can't even reply with "umad" or "butthurt" Are you a wizard.jpg
Two Shots Caldari GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 03:09:00 - [18] Originally by: Misty McGinnity Re-investing public isk into other investments is still fundamentally, a big no-no with me, reasons in my first response ^^ The rest was a Troll at you/NEISIN. which i must say, was handled by you very well, i can't even reply with "umad" or "butthurt" Are you a wizard.jpg He is in fact a bona-fide good-poster.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 03:10:00 - [19] Originally by: Misty McGinnity Re-investing public isk into other investments is still fundamentally, a big no-no with me, reasons in my first response ^^ I'm also taking the full risk if those investments default. I'll cover any losses, I'm just telling people where the money is going to be used. I'm worth about 11 billion personally, though mostly tied up in assets related to my combat booster business. I'm not going to invest in any one person, and I don't expect to see any losses. So don't think of this as a mutual fund, think of it as a "Kalrand Bond".
egola Amarr	Posted - 2011.02.10 05:08:00 - [20] Edited by: egola on 10/02/2011 05:08:02 600m at 7%! ( you said this was a 11bil valued bond correct?)
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 05:13:00 - [21] Originally by: egola Edited by: egola on 10/02/2011 05:08:02 600m at 7%! ( you said this was a 11bil valued bond correct?) It's a 5 billion isk bond. I think you're confusing where I stated before that I personally have about 11b in assets. I'll put you on the list, let me know if this changes how you feel about the investment.
egola Amarr	Posted - 2011.02.10 05:19:00 - [22] oh not at all, i just needed a hard figure to keep track of when someone outbids me. keep me posted at 600 for 7%
AkJon Ferguson JC Ferguson and Son Ltd Ferguson Alliance	Posted - 2011.02.10 05:34:00 - [23] I can't believe I'm actually tempted to invest in a goon. (I like his posting style.) I will justify not doing so by predicting that he will be scammed/defaulted on and kicked from goons as punishment for conducting ethical business with 'pubbies'. Subsequently he will choose to default on this (while it was not his original intent.)
Kithran	Posted - 2011.02.10 09:43:00 - [24] OK put me down for 1 bil @ 6%
Alice Celadon	Posted - 2011.02.10 09:57:00 - [25] 3 bil @6%
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 11:57:00 - [26] Originally by: Estel Arador I thought CPSoBCUUVCBANF was the NEISIN number; it sure looks indistinguishable from one to me. I'm glad someone got the joke.
corestwo Goonfleet Investment Banking	Posted - 2011.02.10 13:25:00 - [27] Edited by: corestwo on 10/02/2011 13:30:34 For what it's worth, I can attest to the near-zero default rate within goonswarm. We've even had ventures collapse as our space burned to the ground around them resulting in billions of isk of lost towers...still pay investors back in full. Ironically enough, the internal goon "secondary market" is more reliable than the MD based one. I've alluded to this in the past as well, but can't be bothered to dig up the post.
Caldariftw123	Posted - 2011.02.10 14:00:00 - [28] Originally by: corestwo Edited by: corestwo on 10/02/2011 13:30:34 For what it's worth, I can attest to the near-zero default rate within goonswarm. We've even had ventures collapse as our space burned to the ground around them resulting in billions of isk of lost towers...still pay investors back in full. Ironically enough, the internal goon "secondary market" is more reliable than the MD based one. I've alluded to this in the past as well, but can't be bothered to dig up the post. Defaulting/scamming a fellow (SA) goon result sin losing your SA membership doe sit not? That is what I have heard anyway.
Kalrand GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation	Posted - 2011.02.10 14:18:00 - [29] Originally by: Caldariftw123 Defaulting/scamming a fellow (SA) goon result sin losing your SA membership doe sit not? That is what I have heard anyway. Goonfleet.com is separate from SA. You lose your goonfleet membership, which you cant just pay $10 and get back.
flakeys The Great cornholio's	Posted - 2011.02.10 15:32:00 - [30] Edited by: flakeys on 10/02/2011 15:31:58 Originally by: Kalrand Originally by: Caldariftw123 Defaulting/scamming a fellow (SA) goon result sin losing your SA membership doe sit not? That is what I have heard anyway. Goonfleet.com is separate from SA. You lose your goonfleet membership, which you cant just pay $10 and get back. Wich is why i wanted to know you would repay any lost isk for defauted loans since the investors are probably not goons. That said , let's give this a nice spin since most know i have a big dislike for goons and also since you stated you can ignore offers from peole you yourself dislike.. 5B at 5% interest.

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