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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 6 post(s) |

Benilopax
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:27:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Benilopax on 13/02/2006 03:28:18 I needed to say this to all of you as it helps me sort myself out. I wanted this to be in general chat as most of my friends are here. Today i tried to destroy my own corp. I stole everything and locked everyone out of the pos' we had. This is the mail i sent explaining why:
As you all know i have been quite sick since christmas the medication i have to take causes me confusion depression and paranoia. I struggled through this and tried to continue as CEO.
*deleted* kept picking at my actions until i couldn't stand him anymore. Aswell as my paranoia causing me to think *deleted* was trying to take the corp from me through *deleted*. When i saw *deleted* demand the vote take place in game i realised he had a bulk of the shares. I paniced and ran for it thinking that i was being forced out.
During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help.
If i am right and you did plan to get rid of me my heart is broken. I need help i can admit that. I have returned everything and now i don't know what to do.
I'm sorry i have struggled with this trying to be normal and pretend i was fine but something is wrong with me.
I felt bullied by some corp members and felt stupid. Some of you have still tried to speak kindly to me I thank you.
And now i will take my ship to alpa and face my punishment................. I'm sorry everyone.
This game is a powerfull thing people say it's just a game but it can suck you in so much things like this happen.
Yet i do love it so much.
I'm on the road to getting better and i hope i can return to you all soon.
Thanks
Benilopax.
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Dark Shikari
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:28:00 -
[2]
...
Wow. -- Proud member of the [23].
The Tachikomas are DEAD! Click sig for video.
<3 Tachikomas -Eldo But I'm the cutest of them all, and I'm not even a blue robot - Wrangler I have seen you. You cannot deny it anymore - Vanamonde You used to be one of the twenty three, now you are a part of me - Cortes Immy > You All - Imaran Tachikomas > All ~kieron POKEMON -eris Jacques was 'ere Capsicum still is |

Rein Fallow
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 -
[3]
o.O Huh? It goes from like being kind of angry and mad, to being apologetic and saying he's got "Pill" problems. I'm confused. ------------------------------------------------ //////\ /\ ///(------) O-( ^_^ )-O ///(------) ///////|
Yes. Yes, that is Kirby on a uni-cycle. |

Nukeitall
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Nukeitall on 13/02/2006 03:31:38 They probably had it coming. Paranoia doesn't magically materialize from nowhere.
(Or maybe it does. In magical paranoia land. But I don't think there's a way to get there yet. Maybe next patch)
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My grandfather
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Dark Shikari ...
Wow.
...
seconded.
All I can say to this is 'Get better soon, I'm sure it'll all work out fine'.

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Benilopax
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:31:00 -
[6]
Thankyou it's all part of the healing process i needed to say this i needed to admit this problem.
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My grandfather
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:38:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Benilopax Thankyou it's all part of the healing process i needed to say this i needed to admit this problem.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting cured. You realised you have one before doing anything really serious. You made a mistake, yes, but you are still 'sane' enough to correct it and openly apologize. This was a very important step. Paranoia and depression are grave problems yes, but they are treatable. You have taken the first step in healing with this message.
I'm sure your corp mates will forgive you, after all it wasn't really you who did this.
I hope you are helped soon, and I sinceraly wish you a lot of good luck.
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Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:38:00 -
[8]
I've had a lot of psychiatric problems of my own over the years, and I know they can make you act pretty damn weird. I hope you get better, Benilopax, and I hope your corp members try to help you through this, rather than push you away. If I can help in ANY way at all, please contact me. -------------------------------------[04:04:04] Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
[04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
[07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Stop whining about my signature - Wrangler \o/ ~kieron [\"] -Capsicum <3 -eris you wanted colours now you have them :) -eris..again Donuts and cAKe anyone? Jacques' |

aeti
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:39:00 -
[9]
give all the stuff back, let somebody else take over, and take a break till stuff is sorted, probably for the best having fewer things to worry about, tho other ppl might think differently
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Retsudo Itto
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:49:00 -
[10]
Knowing how medication can affect your state of mental health i aould go with aeti's surgetion. Sounds like you need to just take it easy for a while. You done the right thing n realy can't be blamed for that. You admited the problem so hard part of the battle done. Just try n reighn in the paranoia that can be a crippler. Rest up the game will still be here and the friends ya made as well. Hope you get better swiftly.
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Destable
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Posted - 2006.02.13 03:54:00 -
[11]
I'm glad you're getting help.
No matter what was going on in-game, it doesn't warrent that kind of stress or feelings out of game.
I'd suggest giving all of the stuff to your corp's care, trusting them, and taking care of yourself, and then consider a return to EVE or MMOG's.
Don't despair...
Destable
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BlackHole Bob
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Posted - 2006.02.13 04:21:00 -
[12]
Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo...
seriously...
you have addiction and social issues beyond eve...
get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded....
most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days...
I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with...
its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help
Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th |

Johnny Twoshoe
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Posted - 2006.02.13 05:02:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Johnny Twoshoe on 13/02/2006 05:02:01 "you have addiction and social issues beyond eve..."
When did he say he had an addiction problem?
Hope you get better, Ben. Hang in there. --------------------------------------------- Johnny Twoshoe - Nuttier Than Thou (\_/) (O.o) (> <) Who the Fudge is Imaran? |

My grandfather
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Posted - 2006.02.13 05:11:00 -
[14]
Originally by: BlackHole Bob Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo...
seriously...
you have addiction and social issues beyond eve...
get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded....
most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days...
I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with...
its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help
Please read the post carefully before replying. He doesn't say he has an addiction, or any other problem with eve. His problems are purely RL.
Ben, You'll pull through. I'm sure of that. You already showed you are willing to search help, and that is 50% of the way.
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Jean Delacroix
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Posted - 2006.02.13 05:45:00 -
[15]
Good luck with your treatment. It sounds like you are on the right path to overcoming this obstacle.
I think it would be a good idea to force yourself to let go a bit. Sign over control of your corporation to someone you trust (hopefully there are still people you trust), and take a break for a while. Reduce your levels of stress.
Best of luck.
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Nex Angelus
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Posted - 2006.02.13 07:15:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Nex Angelus on 13/02/2006 07:22:40 Hi there!
By posting this, you took care of the first step towards healing yourself. It takes a courage to do what you just did, to admit you have a problem, and by doing so atelast I think you are on the right path.
If there's anything I can do to help, or you just need some random guy to talk to, feel free to drop me a line at [email protected] (to anyone else, please don't abuse this e-mail...)
Be safe, and stay safe.
TO THE EVE COMMUNITY:
Support is important. If you read this, take the time to atleast post a "/signed" or something. Let's keep this one at the top of page one for a while...
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Nex Angelus
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:07:00 -
[17]
As I said, let's keep it on the first page for a while, shall we... 
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Jade NightStorm
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:17:00 -
[18]
/signed
Good Luck. 
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BlackHole Bob
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:22:00 -
[19]
Originally by: My grandfather
Originally by: BlackHole Bob Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo...
seriously...
you have addiction and social issues beyond eve...
get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded....
most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days...
I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with...
its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help
Please read the post carefully before replying. He doesn't say he has an addiction, or any other problem with eve. His problems are purely RL.
Ben, You'll pull through. I'm sure of that. You already showed you are willing to search help, and that is 50% of the way.
I read the post carefully...very in fact...
Read my reply carefully...ecspecially the last few lines...
am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with...
its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help
then go back and read his carefully..ecspecially this line...
During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help.
obviously if hes feeling like people are coming to get him in real life then he doesn't need to devote anytime to any game until he cleans up his pills and social and real life bro...
intervention is great when done well..
in this case there is nothing anyone here can do but offer him sympathy and support...
i will leave that up to professional experts on mental health...
either way, as bad as he sounds overall in or out of game he needs to see a professional and not eve online forum player help.
I have watched many a friends life go down the tubes over online games from divorce to addiction to loss of jobs and assets and more... all over a SOCIAL GAME.
In the end the only thing that truly helped was to first remove the social disorder access and that means computers and implement new paths to social and mental solutions rather then pills and games.
just like removing the booze and not going to the bars...
his pills and online gaming it seems combine to deliver what seem to be paranoid delusions...all revolving around social behavoir
im no mental health expert but i know online gaming addiction and social disorder when i see it..
I DO WISH ALWAYS, IN ANY ASPECT, A SPEEDY RECOVERY.
GO spend time with a loved one out of game...get support and intervention from people whom you can see touch smell and feel. Reaching to the forums for it is more like a cry for sympathy and a misguided path to denial. Admitting it to your closest loved ones will do alot more then to some people he will never meet here on the forums.
seek professional help...I hope somehow life works out for you and eve continues to a form of enjoyment rather then an aweful addicted socially horrible expierience because you take to many pills.
Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th |

Lanish
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:42:00 -
[20]
A brave and honorable move posting on the Forum.
You are already on the road to recovery.
So, the medication is for an illness and the medication has some unfortunate side effects..? (No other options.?)
(Please dont take medication for depression. Too often do folks take meds for this and find themselves on a completely different path that is not neccessarily one to betterness.)
Family, Friends laughter and time are sometimes the best cures.
Take care Benilopax.
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:( My Sig hijackings are gone. Damn me. I must pod myself.
I only wanted to try and add some Pink. :( I must have PINK. ( --Jorauk) |
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Exile Devaltos
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:47:00 -
[21]
Good thing to do Ben.
I just had my heart wrenched out by another woman.... and well lately its been hard to smile at anything. But, life goes on and I hope yours can move on Ben. I know I'm trying to move on even though its like walking through wet concrete.
Hope yah get better
Originally by: Wrangler Thats odd, I always drink after dealing with you people..  
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Johnny Twoshoe
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:49:00 -
[22]
Blackhole Rob - The 'drugs' and 'pills' he's referring to are the medications he's been given for his medical issues. --------------------------------------------- Johnny Twoshoe - Nuttier Than Thou (\_/) (O.o) (> <) Who the Fudge is Imaran? |

BlackHole Bob
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Posted - 2006.02.13 08:55:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Johnny Twoshoe Blackhole Rob - The 'drugs' and 'pills' he's referring to are the medications he's been given for his medical issues.
yup yup...all the more reason not to aggrevate them with video game addictions and social anxiety...
anyway...good luck im out on this one...get well no matter what the issues...
Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th |

Verone
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:18:00 -
[24]
It's nice to see you're getting help mate, and I hope things work out for you.
I'm sure you're a valuable part of your corp, and they will understand exactly what has happened.
I myself suffer from something similar that affects my moods quite serverely (Rapid Cycling BP), so if you need any help with your troubles and moods, contact me in game and I'll see if I can help 
Take it easy man, R&R is the road to recovery 
Veto Member Movies
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Cadadon
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:26:00 -
[25]
Get better soon mate! 
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Brastagi
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:28:00 -
[26]
/Signed
Hope you get over it! ---------
"I'm gonna take your reality and replace it with mine" Adam -Mythbuster |

MOOstradamus
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:29:00 -
[27]
WTF !! 
MOOrovingian "Following & supporting EVE (since Jan 2001) is like wiping your arse with sandpaper."
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Martinus Crimson
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:30:00 -
[28]
/signed
Respect for posting it. ----------------------- Nuttin ^^ |

Bishop 5
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:38:00 -
[29]
Get better soon mate.
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Jinx Barker
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Posted - 2006.02.13 09:42:00 -
[30]
Yea mate, get better soon.
Psychophrmachological meds are often not the best and "true & tried" stuff - like antibiotics. I know for a fact that even if they help for a month or two , they can stop helping and cause severe issues a month later.
Good luck and all that. I know how you feel.
100 Mill Signature Contest I Support EVE Advertising Campaign Spank Me -JB |
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