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An apology.

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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 6 post(s)
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:27:00 - [1] Edited by: Benilopax on 13/02/2006 03:28:18 I needed to say this to all of you as it helps me sort myself out. I wanted this to be in general chat as most of my friends are here. Today i tried to destroy my own corp. I stole everything and locked everyone out of the pos' we had. This is the mail i sent explaining why: As you all know i have been quite sick since christmas the medication i have to take causes me confusion depression and paranoia. I struggled through this and tried to continue as CEO. deleted kept picking at my actions until i couldn't stand him anymore. Aswell as my paranoia causing me to think deleted was trying to take the corp from me through deleted. When i saw deleted demand the vote take place in game i realised he had a bulk of the shares. I paniced and ran for it thinking that i was being forced out. During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help. If i am right and you did plan to get rid of me my heart is broken. I need help i can admit that. I have returned everything and now i don't know what to do. I'm sorry i have struggled with this trying to be normal and pretend i was fine but something is wrong with me. I felt bullied by some corp members and felt stupid. Some of you have still tried to speak kindly to me I thank you. And now i will take my ship to alpa and face my punishment................. I'm sorry everyone. This game is a powerfull thing people say it's just a game but it can suck you in so much things like this happen. Yet i do love it so much. I'm on the road to getting better and i hope i can return to you all soon. Thanks Benilopax.
Dark Shikari	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:28:00 - [2] ... Wow. -- Proud member of the [23]. The Tachikomas are DEAD! Click sig for video. <3 Tachikomas -Eldo But I'm the cutest of them all, and I'm not even a blue robot - Wrangler I have seen you. You cannot deny it anymore - Vanamonde You used to be one of the twenty three, now you are a part of me - Cortes Immy > You All - Imaran Tachikomas > All ~kieron POKEMON -eris Jacques was 'ere Capsicum still is
Rein Fallow	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 - [3] o.O Huh? It goes from like being kind of angry and mad, to being apologetic and saying he's got "Pill" problems. I'm confused. ------------------------------------------------ //////\ /\ ///(------) O-( ^_^ )-O ///(------) ///////\| Yes. Yes, that is Kirby on a uni-cycle.
Nukeitall	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 - [4] Edited by: Nukeitall on 13/02/2006 03:31:38 They probably had it coming. Paranoia doesn't magically materialize from nowhere. (Or maybe it does. In magical paranoia land. But I don't think there's a way to get there yet. Maybe next patch)
My grandfather	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:30:00 - [5] Originally by: Dark Shikari ... Wow. ... seconded. All I can say to this is 'Get better soon, I'm sure it'll all work out fine'.
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:31:00 - [6] Thankyou it's all part of the healing process i needed to say this i needed to admit this problem.
My grandfather	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:38:00 - [7] Originally by: Benilopax Thankyou it's all part of the healing process i needed to say this i needed to admit this problem. Admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting cured. You realised you have one before doing anything really serious. You made a mistake, yes, but you are still 'sane' enough to correct it and openly apologize. This was a very important step. Paranoia and depression are grave problems yes, but they are treatable. You have taken the first step in healing with this message. I'm sure your corp mates will forgive you, after all it wasn't really you who did this. I hope you are helped soon, and I sinceraly wish you a lot of good luck.
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:38:00 - [8] I've had a lot of psychiatric problems of my own over the years, and I know they can make you act pretty damn weird. I hope you get better, Benilopax, and I hope your corp members try to help you through this, rather than push you away. If I can help in ANY way at all, please contact me. -------------------------------------[04:04:04] Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108! Stop whining about my signature - Wrangler \o/ ~kieron [\"] -Capsicum <3 -eris you wanted colours now you have them :) -eris..again Donuts and cAKe anyone? Jacques'
aeti	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:39:00 - [9] give all the stuff back, let somebody else take over, and take a break till stuff is sorted, probably for the best having fewer things to worry about, tho other ppl might think differently
Retsudo Itto	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:49:00 - [10] Knowing how medication can affect your state of mental health i aould go with aeti's surgetion. Sounds like you need to just take it easy for a while. You done the right thing n realy can't be blamed for that. You admited the problem so hard part of the battle done. Just try n reighn in the paranoia that can be a crippler. Rest up the game will still be here and the friends ya made as well. Hope you get better swiftly.

Destable	Posted - 2006.02.13 03:54:00 - [11] I'm glad you're getting help. No matter what was going on in-game, it doesn't warrent that kind of stress or feelings out of game. I'd suggest giving all of the stuff to your corp's care, trusting them, and taking care of yourself, and then consider a return to EVE or MMOG's. Don't despair... Destable
BlackHole Bob	Posted - 2006.02.13 04:21:00 - [12] Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo... seriously... you have addiction and social issues beyond eve... get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded.... most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days... I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th
Johnny Twoshoe	Posted - 2006.02.13 05:02:00 - [13] Edited by: Johnny Twoshoe on 13/02/2006 05:02:01 "you have addiction and social issues beyond eve..." When did he say he had an addiction problem? Hope you get better, Ben. Hang in there. --------------------------------------------- Johnny Twoshoe - Nuttier Than Thou (\_/) (O.o) (> <) Who the Fudge is Imaran?
My grandfather	Posted - 2006.02.13 05:11:00 - [14] Originally by: BlackHole Bob Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo... seriously... you have addiction and social issues beyond eve... get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded.... most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days... I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help Please read the post carefully before replying. He doesn't say he has an addiction, or any other problem with eve. His problems are purely RL. Ben, You'll pull through. I'm sure of that. You already showed you are willing to search help, and that is 50% of the way.
Jean Delacroix	Posted - 2006.02.13 05:45:00 - [15] Good luck with your treatment. It sounds like you are on the right path to overcoming this obstacle. I think it would be a good idea to force yourself to let go a bit. Sign over control of your corporation to someone you trust (hopefully there are still people you trust), and take a break for a while. Reduce your levels of stress. Best of luck.
Nex Angelus	Posted - 2006.02.13 07:15:00 - [16] Edited by: Nex Angelus on 13/02/2006 07:22:40 Hi there! By posting this, you took care of the first step towards healing yourself. It takes a courage to do what you just did, to admit you have a problem, and by doing so atelast I think you are on the right path. If there's anything I can do to help, or you just need some random guy to talk to, feel free to drop me a line at [email protected] (to anyone else, please don't abuse this e-mail...) Be safe, and stay safe. TO THE EVE COMMUNITY: Support is important. If you read this, take the time to atleast post a "/signed" or something. Let's keep this one at the top of page one for a while...
Nex Angelus	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:07:00 - [17] As I said, let's keep it on the first page for a while, shall we...
Jade NightStorm	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:17:00 - [18] /signed Good Luck.
BlackHole Bob	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:22:00 - [19] Originally by: My grandfather Originally by: BlackHole Bob Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo... seriously... you have addiction and social issues beyond eve... get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded.... most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days... I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help Please read the post carefully before replying. He doesn't say he has an addiction, or any other problem with eve. His problems are purely RL. Ben, You'll pull through. I'm sure of that. You already showed you are willing to search help, and that is 50% of the way. I read the post carefully...very in fact... Read my reply carefully...ecspecially the last few lines... am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help then go back and read his carefully..ecspecially this line... During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help. obviously if hes feeling like people are coming to get him in real life then he doesn't need to devote anytime to any game until he cleans up his pills and social and real life bro... intervention is great when done well.. in this case there is nothing anyone here can do but offer him sympathy and support... i will leave that up to professional experts on mental health... either way, as bad as he sounds overall in or out of game he needs to see a professional and not eve online forum player help. I have watched many a friends life go down the tubes over online games from divorce to addiction to loss of jobs and assets and more... all over a SOCIAL GAME. In the end the only thing that truly helped was to first remove the social disorder access and that means computers and implement new paths to social and mental solutions rather then pills and games. just like removing the booze and not going to the bars... his pills and online gaming it seems combine to deliver what seem to be paranoid delusions...all revolving around social behavoir im no mental health expert but i know online gaming addiction and social disorder when i see it.. I DO WISH ALWAYS, IN ANY ASPECT, A SPEEDY RECOVERY. GO spend time with a loved one out of game...get support and intervention from people whom you can see touch smell and feel. Reaching to the forums for it is more like a cry for sympathy and a misguided path to denial. Admitting it to your closest loved ones will do alot more then to some people he will never meet here on the forums. seek professional help...I hope somehow life works out for you and eve continues to a form of enjoyment rather then an aweful addicted socially horrible expierience because you take to many pills. Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th
Lanish	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:42:00 - [20] A brave and honorable move posting on the Forum. You are already on the road to recovery. So, the medication is for an illness and the medication has some unfortunate side effects..? (No other options.?) (Please dont take medication for depression. Too often do folks take meds for this and find themselves on a completely different path that is not neccessarily one to betterness.) Family, Friends laughter and time are sometimes the best cures. Take care Benilopax. - :( My Sig hijackings are gone. Damn me. I must pod myself. I only wanted to try and add some Pink. :( I must have PINK. ( --Jorauk)

Exile Devaltos	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:47:00 - [21] Good thing to do Ben. I just had my heart wrenched out by another woman.... and well lately its been hard to smile at anything. But, life goes on and I hope yours can move on Ben. I know I'm trying to move on even though its like walking through wet concrete. Hope yah get better Originally by: Wrangler Thats odd, I always drink after dealing with you people..
Johnny Twoshoe	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:49:00 - [22] Blackhole Rob - The 'drugs' and 'pills' he's referring to are the medications he's been given for his medical issues. --------------------------------------------- Johnny Twoshoe - Nuttier Than Thou (\_/) (O.o) (> <) Who the Fudge is Imaran?
BlackHole Bob	Posted - 2006.02.13 08:55:00 - [23] Originally by: Johnny Twoshoe Blackhole Rob - The 'drugs' and 'pills' he's referring to are the medications he's been given for his medical issues. yup yup...all the more reason not to aggrevate them with video game addictions and social anxiety... anyway...good luck im out on this one...get well no matter what the issues... Blackhole Bob www.evegathering.com Las Vegas EvE Gathering 2006 March 15th and 16th
Verone	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:18:00 - [24] It's nice to see you're getting help mate, and I hope things work out for you. I'm sure you're a valuable part of your corp, and they will understand exactly what has happened. I myself suffer from something similar that affects my moods quite serverely (Rapid Cycling BP), so if you need any help with your troubles and moods, contact me in game and I'll see if I can help Take it easy man, R&R is the road to recovery Veto Member Movies
Cadadon	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:26:00 - [25] Get better soon mate!
Brastagi	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:28:00 - [26] /Signed Hope you get over it! --------- "I'm gonna take your reality and replace it with mine" Adam -Mythbuster
MOOstradamus	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:29:00 - [27] WTF !! MOOrovingian "Following & supporting EVE (since Jan 2001) is like wiping your arse with sandpaper."
Martinus Crimson	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:30:00 - [28] /signed Respect for posting it. ----------------------- Nuttin ^^
Bishop 5	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:38:00 - [29] Get better soon mate.
Jinx Barker	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:42:00 - [30] Yea mate, get better soon. Psychophrmachological meds are often not the best and "true & tried" stuff - like antibiotics. I know for a fact that even if they help for a month or two , they can stop helping and cause severe issues a month later. Good luck and all that. I know how you feel. 100 Mill Signature Contest I Support EVE Advertising Campaign Spank Me -JB

31i73	Posted - 2006.02.13 09:44:00 - [31] I'm not an expert on.. well anything, but my 2c: RL is more important than EVE. Give more time to your friends and other ppl, than you do to EVE. Misunderstandings and misfortune in EVE can create a lot of upset in RL too. I have sometimes tougth some ingame things too long, while I was supposed to be working etc. What helps, is to breathe a bit, put it to perspective, and continue if and after you better. goodluck m8
Abbadon	Posted - 2006.02.13 10:38:00 - [32] All the best Benilopax. .
Tar Sarius	Posted - 2006.02.13 10:57:00 - [33] From someone who has suffered from Depression and paranoia, I know how bizarre it can manifest itself. Just keep in mind that your actions are not indicative of who you really are. As has been said before, it is brave of you to post here and do what you have done, take comfort and pride in that. You have not been shamed and deserve credit for the honourable way you have recovered the situation. I wish you luck in your real life and game life.
spRAYed	Posted - 2006.02.13 11:04:00 - [34] Hmm, u need a doctor....not a POS and a bunch of loot. ----------------------------------------- WE PWN NEWBS
Hairtrigger	Posted - 2006.02.13 11:37:00 - [35] Im sure i can speak for Me and Mine, Bens a safe guy, We had a good time flyin with him in a war a while back and id have him in my corp anyday, Get well soon M8.
Vice Cicero	Posted - 2006.02.13 11:48:00 - [36] Edited by: Vice Cicero on 13/02/2006 11:48:23 Get well soon m8, u allready made the first step. I'm sure that more will follow...
Tooken	Posted - 2006.02.13 11:53:00 - [37] /signed
Calisto Lockhart	Posted - 2006.02.13 13:33:00 - [38] get well m8 you made a great step forward with your post take care :)
Dario Wall	Posted - 2006.02.13 13:47:00 - [39] I've gone through some of the same things, so don't worry, you're not alone. Just take some time away from EVE for a while, and spend your free time with family and friends. Posting on the forums showed that you do want to get better, so you're already on the right track. Good luck, and I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Pondor Stibbons	Posted - 2006.02.13 14:25:00 - [40] that took a lot of guts to write that on the main forum. I recommend you give eve a short break and go frag some 1v1 short no thrills game to vent a bit... or try the drums, very theraputic. Hope you fell better real soon. Originally by: Cvuos "We're fighting rocks people, fit those T2 papers!"

Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.13 14:27:00 - [41] Thank you all for your kind words. Just to clarify the pills were for a stomach ulser/ rupture. They were intended to lower my acid levels. However the side effects were more severe in my case. As for EVE I do have trouble getting throuh the day without playing it but thats really because being a student I don't have anything else to do all day. I use eve as an escape im sure alot of you do the same. However when the game begins to give you problems aswell it finally hits home theres something up. I suggest you all stop for a moment and think.... should I be playing it as much as I am?
Kharakan	Posted - 2006.02.13 14:30:00 - [42] Stomach ulcer? Much sympathy, they're nasty buggers. Originally by: ParMizaN evry1ghasb a limiy... ...and ijust reached it ahaha... this signature space is claimed in the name of eris, haha I got to him first. neeneer I am annexing your space! Haha! I win! - Wrangler Imaran > Wrangler
Go Team	Posted - 2006.02.13 14:32:00 - [43] well i started playing eve following surgery which kept me off work for a few months. It saved my sanity but i had to wean myself off it when i was due to go back to work. I now play a lot less. (often i miss days upon days)and that is no bad thing. although it means corp-ops are a thing of the past for me, as i cannot guarantee online time anymore. Hope you feel well soon. GT. Wrangler organised a ram raid to steal my sig back, erin was lookout, i believe....... Sig stolen - Cortes HA! Cortes
Lost Minnity	Posted - 2006.02.13 14:46:00 - [44] Take care m8. And get well soon.
Agemmemnon	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:03:00 - [45] nah.. its a game pod yourself.. I bring thee Pax
Brother Benthor	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:20:00 - [46] /signed gl mate :) hope to see u in space better and podding something :P (even if its a roid) eheh Sig violated as requested - Cortes
Elange4	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:24:00 - [47] 'Been there man; I'm almost forty and there's lots and lots of Hope. Trust me. I have been there. Really. Two things: exercise of some sort, and a journal; they were crucial to me to get it out and get it sorted. /SIGNED
Cruzcampo	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:28:00 - [48] Didn't read it, but.. apology accepted. Go in peace.
Alexis DeTocqueville	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:33:00 - [49] Aww man, even insulting this post would be a bit too cynical and rude for me given the circumstances. I suppose I'll just lend my voice to the chorus of huzzah and kudos instead.
Zeigmen Ganzalez	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:34:00 - [50] Kudos to you m8 - and get better - takes balls to write stuff like this. Cheers Z

Linada	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:38:00 - [51] /signed hope you get back on top of things again soon Livetech
Arkios Odymei	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:45:00 - [52] Ditto on everything said here. Take the time to sort out ure life. Hope everything falls back into place soon. If/When ever you are ready to play again, Eve and all of us here will be waiting. If you cant, then thats no biggie either, Its a game (a great game, but still just a game). Real life is always the priority and im gladd to see u are going to get help for your problems. Best of luck on your road to fast recovery.
Gaiam	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:47:00 - [53] NEVER trust a doctor to fix your problems, doctors are no longer in the business to help the patient, and are usually trained in school as what "brand name" are the best to prescribe etc. people say dont take recreational drugs to escape problems and now the new world order doctors all trained in the same exact art of "healing" (they do a **** job too) are pushing stuff worse than most of our street drugs. you should go back to your doctor on a double dose and beat the living hell out of him and blame it on him giving you the pills. it was his fault for this, he has no idea what those pills do he was just told by the guys he works for to push it on people, he does not care about your well being or mental health. if he did he would have advised counselling over medication. worst thing is they prescribe the same pills to young children if they have problems in junoir high school also. purposely trying to build an society of pill poppers (50% of americans are on some form of antidepressant, no wonder the government can do anything and the population doesnt even look up) if you want someone to talk to to figure things out feel free to convo me.
Helplessandlost	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:51:00 - [54] Get better Benilopax "Don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive!" Check us out
Riddick87	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:52:00 - [55] /Signed. Good luck Sorting things out.
Phenoxan97	Posted - 2006.02.13 15:53:00 - [56] Damn alt. The above signee was me
Kirianshalee	Posted - 2006.02.13 16:16:00 - [57] Paranoia can easyly grow in a totaly anonymous game. For me it came 6 years ago before eve and in RL... Whatever the cause talk to your doctors friends and family. Rest, sleep alot things will fall in to place again. I dont know U but U have my respect and I wish u the best /signed
Gradinger	Posted - 2006.02.13 16:39:00 - [58] gl to u benilo.. rest ur head and shut down all the thoughts - without any pressure - there¦s just no need to think all day long. and if ur in the mood to play eve - then play (u know urself best..) hf!
Wrayeth	Posted - 2006.02.13 17:43:00 - [59] Ouch, man. Hope the doc can help you get things sorted out, even if it's just by taking you off that particular medication. I've had bad experiences with psychiatric drugs, myself - when I was fourteen, my psychiatrist put me on ritalin for ADD, and I ended up putting someone in the hospital. It just completely removed my ability to control my temper - scary stuff. Needless to say, I gave up on meds for ADD, OCD, ODD, and depression soon after. They never worked, anyway, and the potential risks were just too great. Anyway, take some time out to get things put back together. It's freakin' hard, especially when you have commitments to meet, but your health, both mental and physical, needs to come first. /respect -Wrayeth
Klintrox	Posted - 2006.02.13 19:08:00 - [60] Edited by: Klintrox on 13/02/2006 19:09:48 It is when the game is not a relief from your stress, but the cause of it, that you need to realize that you have to work on yourself and screw the game. The very fact that you made this forthright and honorable post indicates that you understand that you have a problem. And from the sound of it, it is in need of serious attention. I have been there before and, but for the grace of God . . . I hope you find your strength and your direction soon. You have my best wishes for your recovery. And thank you, it was good to be reminded of where hard drugs had led me, in the past. You know, you should probably document your experiences in recovery. It might help you and maybe it would help someone else as well.

Dimitri Chandler	Posted - 2006.02.13 19:15:00 - [61] Nice post. Have you tried CBT? It's working for my brother who is in a similar situation. -------------------------------------------------- LOSE CHUCK
Callie Nefarious	Posted - 2006.02.13 19:20:00 - [62] Hope ya will be better soon man chin up and try to keep smiling
Ikvar	Posted - 2006.02.13 19:31:00 - [63] Originally by: Benilopax Edited by: Benilopax on 13/02/2006 03:28:18 I needed to say this to all of you as it helps me sort myself out. I wanted this to be in general chat as most of my friends are here. Today i tried to destroy my own corp. I stole everything and locked everyone out of the pos' we had. This is the mail i sent explaining why: As you all know i have been quite sick since christmas the medication i have to take causes me confusion depression and paranoia. I struggled through this and tried to continue as CEO. deleted kept picking at my actions until i couldn't stand him anymore. Aswell as my paranoia causing me to think deleted was trying to take the corp from me through deleted. When i saw deleted demand the vote take place in game i realised he had a bulk of the shares. I paniced and ran for it thinking that i was being forced out. During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help. If i am right and you did plan to get rid of me my heart is broken. I need help i can admit that. I have returned everything and now i don't know what to do. I'm sorry i have struggled with this trying to be normal and pretend i was fine but something is wrong with me. I felt bullied by some corp members and felt stupid. Some of you have still tried to speak kindly to me I thank you. And now i will take my ship to alpa and face my punishment................. I'm sorry everyone. This game is a powerfull thing people say it's just a game but it can suck you in so much things like this happen. Yet i do love it so much. I'm on the road to getting better and i hope i can return to you all soon. Thanks Benilopax. Lol. Originally by: Avon I actually enjoy crafting in EQ2.
Kurren	Posted - 2006.02.13 19:32:00 - [64] You know, 'cept for a few people, this thread makes me wonder why people think so poorly of the Eve community! I know what its like Ben. I was put on Welbutrin for depression and the problem only got worse. I stopped taking it and realized that "people are people and are going to be people, there is nothing I can do to change how they are" and BAM, like an Interceptor with an MWD on it, I started feeling better. Hang in there, you'll be fine in no time! SobaKai.com -Devs, please don't destroy my ENTIRE signature next time!- Noted - Please send more ISK -Capsicum
Coranor	Posted - 2006.02.13 20:27:00 - [65] I hope you get yourself sorted out good man. Really it takes a lot of courage to stand up and apologise and accept that you need help for something like this so I salute you for it. Best of luck. --------------
The AntiCrust	Posted - 2006.02.13 20:45:00 - [66] If the drugs made you act as you did then they, as mature people, will understand. They will band together and help you through what ever problems you have. Unfortunatly, if they do not, they are not friends. Hope all is sorted as fast as possible for you, and dont let the paranoia get to you.
Harry Voyager	Posted - 2006.02.13 20:50:00 - [67] I've been on medications with mind altering effects before. In my case it was an antibiotic that, for me, caused mild dementia. I ended up presenting a second of my senior design project under the full influence of it. I had had to break it down for transit, and when I attempted to reassemble it, I ended up scramblign the wiring on it. I had one of the batteries shorted to itself, the op amps wired in backwards. It was a mess, and I wasn't even lucid enough to realise how badly I had screwed it up. Fortunatly, it wore off a few hours after takign each dose, so I did sober up enough to realise what had happened. I altered when I was taking my doses, and fortunatly was off it before the filan report had to be turned in. Still, the over all effect cost me at least half a letter grade on the project. Re: Blackhole: This has very little to do with Eve. This is a pure chemical imbalance in his brain causing him to act this erratically, and turning off every computer in the house isn't going to fix this any more than it would fix a case of whooping cough. That being said, it would still be for the best to reduce your corp responsibilities dramatically for the duration. Even if staying home with the cough doesn't shorted the duration much, it still isn't terribly helpful to go tearing around the neighborhood with it. Harry Voyager ____________________ I'm not an idiot; I just play one on the forums.
revren	Posted - 2006.02.13 20:59:00 - [68] Good Luck with everything I hope that your meds get sorted out, and that in turn every tihng else does. Revren Friend of Bill W. Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?
Major Skillz	Posted - 2006.02.13 21:18:00 - [69] Drugs kills.
CiNi	Posted - 2006.02.13 21:35:00 - [70] this took real guts to do as everyone said u are getting help and thats the hardest part of all over with. good luck to you Benilopax

Velocitee	Posted - 2006.02.13 22:24:00 - [71] It takes both courage and insight to admit a problem within yourself. I admire and respect that in a day and age where it is so easy to not take responsibility for your own actions, health, and life. /signed, with respect and sympathy.
Nyphur	Posted - 2006.02.13 22:45:00 - [72] I haven't done quite as much as you but I have definitely let my corp and probably my alliance down. I've been depressed for about a year now. Some corpmates left eve due to boredom. They came back when I was having a good time but it didn't last and now I'm only ever on eve once a day for POS maintenance and maybe a few hours throughout the week for other things. I'm sure my corp are getting mighty bored. I'll occasionally feel bad about it and if I'm sufficiently happy at the time I'll start some kind of corp venture but it always ends up dying or being particularly underwhelming when I get depressed again and lose enthusiasm. I throw isk at them, as if to make up for it and make myself feel less guilty. I'm not on medication for my depression but it's been a year now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. For what it's worth, if you're reading this Pillowsoft, I'm sorry for not being active enough and taking enough interest in eve and in you guys. I'll try to make it up to you. Next week we can all go complex hunting in a COSMOS constellation or something. Eve-Tanking.com - For the ultimate tanking spreadsheet and resources.
Supox	Posted - 2006.02.13 22:51:00 - [73] Benilopax, I sincerely hope you get through this and I suggest that you consult with a psychiatrist while you are taking this medication to try and deal with these borderline mania symptoms. My wife suffers from bipolar disorder, and while she does very well with a combination of medications to help regulate her mood, I am very familiar with this kind of behavior. People here should know that in cases of psychological health, everyone will react differently to a medication. What will work for one person may have nasty effects for another. The key is to get a good doctor to work with you regular physician to help you deal with these mood issues/dark thoughts you are having. You are already on our way to getting the help you need, you just need to go a little farther. Whatever you do, make sure you tell your family and good friends what is going on, because when you are not well you may not be able to communicate all of your symptoms to your doctor about what is happening (and that is where your family & friends need to know so they can help you). I have had to personally take my wife to the hospital before when she was 'not well', and I know how important it was for me to be there not only as a loving husband but as the primary observer of my wife's behavior and was able to talk to the doctor on staff about her condition and what led to her having a manic episode (for those wondering, those that suffer from bipolar disorder have serious problems when their sleep cycles are disrupted - they need a full 8 hrs of restfull sleep or else problems may develop that can lead to a manic episode). I sincerely hope you get the medical attention you need right now and hope you get better. We all have our real life problems, for some they are less visible than others.

Wrangler	Posted - 2006.02.13 22:59:00 - [74] Sorry to hear about it, I hope you'll get better. Sometimes you just have to give it time. If there's anything we (CRC/ISD) can do for you, please contact me using the [email protected] email. [Read the Rules!] - [Contact us] I <3 Imaran, he is for teh sexeh winÖ; But Eris Discordia beats them all ; Apart from Imaran, because he's Teh PwnÖ; IBTL - Imaran; click -Capsicum; IATL - Ductoris; h4x - Imaran ; Jacques - the fastest lock in teh Galaxy; I are t3h roxeur - Eshtir; /me 4TW - Imaran; Be my godfather? - Santi; Hi Mom! o/ --Jorauk; Wrangler likes sheep -Zhuge Due to lack of funds the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off, remember to upgrade your clone!

Galk	Posted - 2006.02.13 23:28:00 - [75] Seriously. If it's that bad, there's one thing you realy don't want to be doing, playing eve... sorry to say, but this game is very bad for you if your suffering that way. Best advice i can give you for depression is good times with your friends, work hard, and keep an active mind. You won't be able to stop it all of the time (you will dwell on things), but you can cut most of it out by doing that sort of stuff, and time heals the rest.... It's good advice, even if i don't swallow it myself all of the time. Been through a couple of serious situations in my life and come out smiling the other side, allways makes me feel stronger talking about it with others when i see others struggling in life, sharing my experiences with people and understanding theirs, it normaly helps in the shorterm, one person makes the difference in the end. Gl with yourself. ______ Long ago one gorgeous night, we let the stars grow free. We let Zhuge do that once, he came back carrying a traffic cone, a forsale sign and three empty bottles of dutch lager. He also lost his Zimmer Frame... - Imaran
Nyphur	Posted - 2006.02.14 01:43:00 - [76] For what little it's worth, if things don't work out with your corp, you're welcome in my humble little corp. I've only ever allowed people I have known for years and trust into it. Or maybe we could get together with your corp and have some fun somewhere? If this thread has shown anything, it's that you have a lot of would-be friends in eve, even if some of your corpmates who hold a lot of shares don't rank among them. Eve-Tanking.com - For the ultimate tanking spreadsheet and resources.
Karistis	Posted - 2006.02.14 03:51:00 - [77] Get well soon. Posting like this took some serious guts. salutes _________________________________________ 2005.01.17 22:04:22 combat Chackle [PUSY] perfectly runs from you, wrecking for 1500 cowardice.
Waldo Barnstormer	Posted - 2006.02.14 05:12:00 - [78] good luck and get better soon loose = "not rigidly fastened or securely attached" \| lose = "fail to win"
Soulita	Posted - 2006.02.14 10:40:00 - [79] Respect hombre. Your post shows you have the inner strength to pull through this easily. You just need to activate it (but you probably already have, takes guts to do a post like yours) Take the situation as it is as a challenge, cause thats what it is. GL and get better soon!
Steven Dynahir	Posted - 2006.02.14 10:50:00 - [80] Originally by: BlackHole Bob Originally by: My grandfather Originally by: BlackHole Bob Edited by: BlackHole Bob on 13/02/2006 04:21:55 At this time till you get grounded you honestly should not play any mmo... seriously... you have addiction and social issues beyond eve... get help...first step cancel you eve accounts until you get grounded.... most off all...dont turn your computer on unless you have to use one at work for 90 days... I am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help Please read the post carefully before replying. He doesn't say he has an addiction, or any other problem with eve. His problems are purely RL. Ben, You'll pull through. I'm sure of that. You already showed you are willing to search help, and that is 50% of the way. I read the post carefully...very in fact... Read my reply carefully...ecspecially the last few lines... am dead serious...you have issues that need resolution beyond eve for sure...and eve is NOT the issue...nor are the players your dealing with... its like any addiction...you will need proper and positive help then go back and read his carefully..ecspecially this line... During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help. obviously if hes feeling like people are coming to get him in real life then he doesn't need to devote anytime to any game until he cleans up his pills and social and real life bro... intervention is great when done well.. in this case there is nothing anyone here can do but offer him sympathy and support... i will leave that up to professional experts on mental health... either way, as bad as he sounds overall in or out of game he needs to see a professional and not eve online forum player help. I have watched many a friends life go down the tubes over online games from divorce to addiction to loss of jobs and assets and more... all over a SOCIAL GAME. In the end the only thing that truly helped was to first remove the social disorder access and that means computers and implement new paths to social and mental solutions rather then pills and games. just like removing the booze and not going to the bars... his pills and online gaming it seems combine to deliver what seem to be paranoid delusions...all revolving around social behavoir im no mental health expert but i know online gaming addiction and social disorder when i see it.. I DO WISH ALWAYS, IN ANY ASPECT, A SPEEDY RECOVERY. GO spend time with a loved one out of game...get support and intervention from people whom you can see touch smell and feel. Reaching to the forums for it is more like a cry for sympathy and a misguided path to denial. Admitting it to your closest loved ones will do alot more then to some people he will never meet here on the forums. seek professional help...I hope somehow life works out for you and eve continues to a form of enjoyment rather then an aweful addicted socially horrible expierience because you take to many pills. I read this line... Quote: As you all know i have been quite sick since christmas the medication i have to take causes me confusion depression and paranoia. ..and it seems to imply that he has some sort of sickness, which is treated with medication. And this medication makes him paranoid. Say an example, you got an narcolepsia and get anphetamine for that => possibility for paranoidic behavior. --- Regional Sell orders


Skellibjalla	Posted - 2006.02.14 10:56:00 - [81] Amazing... This game is a powerful thing because it is real to such a great degree. Life is a garden of perceptions. Pick your fruit.

Zekks MarKeys	Posted - 2006.02.14 12:11:00 - [82] Hey something similar happened to me when i was at uni. I was struggling to sleep so started taking nitol. These pills did not have a good affect on me and i got paranoid which ended with me thinking this guy in my class was out to destroy me. I made his life hell for 2 weeks nothing to serious i'd put him down and talk about him to people totaly out of character. Anyway my friends started to get worried about me and told me to stop taking the nitol. Few days later i was back to normal and spoke to the guy i'd been paranoid about he was really shocked and understanding and i had to go around explaining that he wasn't a bad guy it was the meds i'd been taking. So now you've explained hopefully they will understand
Eddie	Posted - 2006.02.14 12:27:00 - [83] Get well again soon m8 Originally by: TomB It is a good day to be Jove oh thank GOD! I thought you were gonna wave the nerf bat around in this thread
Mr Blue	Posted - 2006.02.14 12:38:00 - [84] OMGWTFPWND!! FREGE SUCKASS //zcinner
jukriamrr	Posted - 2006.02.14 12:39:00 - [85] RL first first first... Go take a walk to the mountaintop and breathe fresh air. All the best, and congratulations for the honesty of your post, which should come forward as a reminder of MMOG's dangers!
CdCommander	Posted - 2006.02.14 12:39:00 - [86] Originally by: Mr Blue OMGWTFPWND!! FREGE SUCKASS //zcinner rofl
Lord Wamphyri	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:00:00 - [87] /SIGNED Good luck with everything dude, I hope things work out for you real soon. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- If I was a bit more clever I could think of a witty sig :( Consider yourself done - Cortes
Dumus	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:20:00 - [88] Peace to you and yours. See you when you get back.
Virida	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:25:00 - [89] Good luck, hope your doctor can help you getting an better treatment, i know of some in my family with simmiliar problems, and know how hard it can be.
Raem Civrie	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:28:00 - [90] Originally by: The AntiCrust If the drugs made you act as you did then they, as mature people, will understand. They will band together and help you through what ever problems you have. Unfortunatly, if they do not, they are not friends. Hope all is sorted as fast as possible for you, and dont let the paranoia get to you. You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. --- God-King of Genitalia

Grimpak	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:43:00 - [91] Originally by: Raem Civrie Originally by: The AntiCrust If the drugs made you act as you did then they, as mature people, will understand. They will band together and help you through what ever problems you have. Unfortunatly, if they do not, they are not friends. Hope all is sorted as fast as possible for you, and dont let the paranoia get to you. You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. so true Depression is something that is as complex as the human mind. it largely depends of the person and the reason why. Anyways wish of a speedy recover, Benilopax. ---------------- Originally by: Abdalion Shoot him ingame if you don't like this person. If you do like him, go mine veldspar with him.
MuadChef	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:49:00 - [92] /signed. GL m8.
Hehulk	Posted - 2006.02.14 13:56:00 - [93] /signed Good luck on the road to recovery Ben. ---------- Chief Patronising Officer - Black Sea Industries Shareholder In O'Mara Shipyards
Julius Dominaus	Posted - 2006.02.14 16:13:00 - [94] All I can say really is get well soon and good luck.
Justus Imperius	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:21:00 - [95] Edited by: Justus Imperius on 14/02/2006 17:26:05 Originally by: Benilopax Edited by: Benilopax on 13/02/2006 03:28:18 I needed to say this to all of you as it helps me sort myself out. I wanted this to be in general chat as most of my friends are here. Today i tried to destroy my own corp. I stole everything and locked everyone out of the pos' we had. This is the mail i sent explaining why: As you all know i have been quite sick since christmas the medication i have to take causes me confusion depression and paranoia. I struggled through this and tried to continue as CEO. deleted kept picking at my actions until i couldn't stand him anymore. Aswell as my paranoia causing me to think deleted was trying to take the corp from me through deleted. When i saw deleted demand the vote take place in game i realised he had a bulk of the shares. I paniced and ran for it thinking that i was being forced out. During today I have been feeling guilt and fear that one of you will find me out of game, all due to the drugs, and even now im scared that you will find me. The pills have caused more problems than they prevented. I am seeing the doctor on wednesday and im going to get help. If i am right and you did plan to get rid of me my heart is broken. I need help i can admit that. I have returned everything and now i don't know what to do. I'm sorry i have struggled with this trying to be normal and pretend i was fine but something is wrong with me. I felt bullied by some corp members and felt stupid. Some of you have still tried to speak kindly to me I thank you. And now i will take my ship to alpa and face my punishment................. I'm sorry everyone. This game is a powerfull thing people say it's just a game but it can suck you in so much things like this happen. Yet i do love it so much. I'm on the road to getting better and i hope i can return to you all soon. Thanks Benilopax. Standard ABSE psychology, what your saying doesnt make sense as paranoia and confusion dont happen at the same time, thats a proven fact. The symptons for it can't match and the only case of it according to date, was a mentally deffecient young 10 year old. You robbed your corp, saw an oppertunity and took it. This post is impressive, but it is a lie and you know it. Admit what you did was wrong but you did it off your own back. What you are doing is trying to justify what you've done, chanses are, your alt just got rich. Sorry mate, but your post is just lies and crap We Are Recruiting Ferion Ftw!
Gilbert Drillerson	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:28:00 - [96] Benilopax, Very moving read, get well soon m8
ElCoCo	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:34:00 - [97] Originally by: Justus Imperius Standard ABSE psychology, what your saying doesnt make sense as paranoia and confusion dont happen at the same time, thats a proven fact. The symptons for it can't match and the only case of it according to date, was a mentally deffecient young 10 year old. You robbed your corp, saw an oppertunity and took it. This post is impressive, but it is a lie and you know it. Admit what you did was wrong but you did it off your own back. What you are doing is trying to justify what you've done, chanses are, your alt just got rich. Sorry mate, but your post is just lies and crap Try and read his post again. Depression and paranoia are sideffects of the medication he takes, not his main illness(es). Powerful medication can do some goofy things on you... and not every combination of drug has been tried and tested
Alchemos	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:40:00 - [98] GL and best wishes 'Soar Angelic' is recruiting!
Justus Imperius	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:42:00 - [99] Originally by: ElCoCo Originally by: Justus Imperius Standard ABSE psychology, what your saying doesnt make sense as paranoia and confusion dont happen at the same time, thats a proven fact. The symptons for it can't match and the only case of it according to date, was a mentally deffecient young 10 year old. You robbed your corp, saw an oppertunity and took it. This post is impressive, but it is a lie and you know it. Admit what you did was wrong but you did it off your own back. What you are doing is trying to justify what you've done, chanses are, your alt just got rich. Sorry mate, but your post is just lies and crap Try and read his post again. Depression and paranoia are sideffects of the medication he takes, not his main illness(es). Powerful medication can do some goofy things on you... and not every combination of drug has been tried and tested Medication that causes paranoia and depression? Are you jsut stupid? No doctor or medical bored would pass that. It would be a severe dangerous medication and anyone who would be given it would be kept under 24/7 surveliance and in a institute. The guy is lieing Use your head We Are Recruiting Ferion Ftw!
Gretchen Dawntreader	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:46:00 - [100] Best of luck. Cancel your accounts. I'm serious. I've seen otherwise moderate people get angry and tense over guild/corp/whatever issues in a number of games. If you are on medication to keep your personality in balance, you should not be playing a combat MMOG. Period.

FunctionX	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:48:00 - [101] Originally by: Justus Imperius Originally by: ElCoCo Originally by: Justus Imperius Standard ABSE psychology, what your saying doesnt make sense as paranoia and confusion dont happen at the same time, thats a proven fact. The symptons for it can't match and the only case of it according to date, was a mentally deffecient young 10 year old. You robbed your corp, saw an oppertunity and took it. This post is impressive, but it is a lie and you know it. Admit what you did was wrong but you did it off your own back. What you are doing is trying to justify what you've done, chanses are, your alt just got rich. Sorry mate, but your post is just lies and crap Try and read his post again. Depression and paranoia are sideffects of the medication he takes, not his main illness(es). Powerful medication can do some goofy things on you... and not every combination of drug has been tried and tested Medication that causes paranoia and depression? Are you jsut stupid? No doctor or medical bored would pass that. It would be a severe dangerous medication and anyone who would be given it would be kept under 24/7 surveliance and in a institute. The guy is lieing Use your head Best post in this thread. I have severe depression and I couldn't agree more with what you're saying.
Yggr	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:51:00 - [102] I hope all goes well for you... ----- Originally by: Malthros Zenobia [TomB,] Were you true to the name [Tom Bombadil], dancing around the woods singing (and killing anything that moved) without a care in the world?
Firebyrd	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:52:00 - [103] Originally by: Justus Imperius Originally by: ElCoCo Originally by: Justus Imperius Standard ABSE psychology, what your saying doesnt make sense as paranoia and confusion dont happen at the same time, thats a proven fact. The symptons for it can't match and the only case of it according to date, was a mentally deffecient young 10 year old. You robbed your corp, saw an oppertunity and took it. This post is impressive, but it is a lie and you know it. Admit what you did was wrong but you did it off your own back. What you are doing is trying to justify what you've done, chanses are, your alt just got rich. Sorry mate, but your post is just lies and crap Try and read his post again. Depression and paranoia are sideffects of the medication he takes, not his main illness(es). Powerful medication can do some goofy things on you... and not every combination of drug has been tried and tested Medication that causes paranoia and depression? Are you jsut stupid? No doctor or medical bored would pass that. It would be a severe dangerous medication and anyone who would be given it would be kept under 24/7 surveliance and in a institute. The guy is lieing Use your head Dude ur seriously off ur rocker, doc have no idea how some meds interact, i have a friend who almost died because the meds the doc perscibed, caused a serious Overdose, infact they had to restart his heart twice..... so dont come in here spouting off what u dont know.... some meds affect different people different ways, but to the OP i would go back to the doc, and tell him about the problems, they may be too strong, or ur having a alergic reaction to the meds ----------------------------------------------- In the End , there can be only 1 Learn from yesterday, that u may be stronger tomorrow
Gotchy	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:53:00 - [104] Edited by: Gotchy on 14/02/2006 17:54:10 To: Justus Imperius Medication can cause depression and paranoia, and no, you dont need to be under 24/7 surveillance if you get such medics. Some medics have a huge impact on a persons soul and mind you cant even imagine. I have plenty of examples for it, believe me or not. To Benilopax, good luck, i hope you can sort it out fast. Maybe you should also consider to step back of teh game til everything is in order again.
Hasham Abbas	Posted - 2006.02.14 17:55:00 - [105] kill... KILL THEM ALL!
Tony Fats	Posted - 2006.02.14 18:32:00 - [106] Hang in there buddy. The truth sets you free.

kieron	Posted - 2006.02.14 18:36:00 - [107] Benilopax, I hope whatever ills are troubling you get resolved soon. Do what you feel is necessary to get your life on track and come on back to Eve. We'll be here waiting for you. kieron Community Manager, EVE Online


Wrangler	Posted - 2006.02.14 18:42:00 - [108] Originally by: Raem Civrie You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. True, if you haven't been there you can't understand it. Anyway, all we can do is hope you'll get better. And to the people who got their posts deleted: please don't post anymore amateur psychology, it never really helps and you might just end up doing more harm than good. [Read the Rules!] - [Contact us] I <3 Imaran, he is for teh sexeh winÖ; But Eris Discordia beats them all ; Apart from Imaran, because he's Teh PwnÖ; IBTL - Imaran; click -Capsicum; IATL - Ductoris; h4x - Imaran ; Jacques - the fastest lock in teh Galaxy; I are t3h roxeur - Eshtir; /me 4TW - Imaran; Be my godfather? - Santi; Hi Mom! o/ --Jorauk; Wrangler likes sheep -Zhuge Due to lack of funds the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off, remember to upgrade your clone!

Morning Maniac	Posted - 2006.02.14 19:17:00 - [109] Hi Benilo, I know you as a man with your heart and head in the right place. You have done a lot for us at EVE University and for me personally. If there's anything I can do for you just let me know. You're a good man and I wish you there very best. MM MM Channel "EVE University" www.gothicmeadows.com.au/crit/forums/(out of game) EVE University commercial
Justus Imperius	Posted - 2006.02.14 20:00:00 - [110] Originally by: kieron Benilopax, I hope whatever ills are troubling you get resolved soon. Do what you feel is necessary to get your life on track and come on back to Eve. We'll be here waiting for you. I can't belive your buying this We Are Recruiting Ferion Ftw!

Wrayeth	Posted - 2006.02.14 20:55:00 - [111] Originally by: Raem Civrie You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. QFT. Just...QFT. Personally, I'm so sick of getting flak for not having motivation or ambition anymore. It's not like I don't want to have them, it's just that my dreams died somewhere along the way and I haven't yet found anything to replace them. When you're massively depressed, you're just kinda moving along at cruise control at best, just going through the motions. At worst, you've completely lost hope, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just an oncoming freight train. People who haven't experienced it just don't understand what it's like, and presume to judge on the basis of that lack of understanding. This is one of the reasons why I despise 90% of humanity. -Wrayeth
Debolika	Posted - 2006.02.14 22:41:00 - [112] Originally by: Wrayeth Originally by: Raem Civrie You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. QFT. Just...QFT. Personally, I'm so sick of getting flak for not having motivation or ambition anymore. It's not like I don't want to have them, it's just that my dreams died somewhere along the way and I haven't yet found anything to replace them. When you're massively depressed, you're just kinda moving along at cruise control at best, just going through the motions. At worst, you've completely lost hope, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just an oncoming freight train. People who haven't experienced it just don't understand what it's like, and presume to judge on the basis of that lack of understanding. This is one of the reasons why I despise 90% of humanity. Whoa there buddy, don't go off on some half-ass tirade because people like me have a 'mental toolbox' that is able to sort OUR issues out without drugs and the like... You are right about one thing, people who deal with the not-so-kind aspects of life in a way that doesn't force them into a depressive state, don't understand those of you who are weaker in this regard... I have been to hell and back, taken the worst turns in my life and about screwed myself over into oblivion, yet you don't hear me complaining about my woes... The one thing I would want to hear from you supposed "victims" is to say that those of us that don't have depression are indeed 'stronger'... Any takers? 400x120@24000 bytes Max. -Capsicum
Kaitiaki	Posted - 2006.02.14 23:21:00 - [113] Originally by: Debolika Whoa there buddy, don't go off on some half-ass tirade because people like me have a 'mental toolbox' that is able to sort OUR issues out without drugs and the like... You are right about one thing, people who deal with the not-so-kind aspects of life in a way that doesn't force them into a depressive state, don't understand those of you who are weaker in this regard... I have been to hell and back, taken the worst turns in my life and about screwed myself over into oblivion, yet you don't hear me complaining about my woes... The one thing I would want to hear from you supposed "victims" is to say that those of us that don't have depression are indeed 'stronger'... Any takers? I was going to add my own post to this thread in support of the OP. But then I saw your smarmy comments here, and once again I find a little glimmer of decency snuffed out. I end up ranting instead of supporting. Hey ho, such is life. Right, so you've 'taken some bad turns', have you? You've 'screwed yourself over into oblivion', have you? So on the basis of bad decisions YOU'VE made and managed to survive, you feel you're entitled to offer barely-veiled abuse to people who're dealing with problems that AREN'T of their own making? So you're the sort who believes that people dealing with mental problems (at whatever level) actually just WANT to feel the way they do? That they're just indulging themselves? Wallowing in their own self-pity? Yeah, it is great fun, you know. It really is fan-TAS-tic, not knowing from one day to the next whether you're going to want to conquer the world or slash your wrists. It's just brilliant. Makes you feel really good. I can sort of understand. I mean, your way is a nice, simplistic way of looking at things. It doesn't require you to empathise with people, or try to see someone else's point of view. Most importantly, it means you can run away from the fact that this can happen to anyone - even you. I'll tell you something, shall I? The brain is a mechanism. It's a machine, just like the rest of the body, and machines can and do go wrong. Just as someone (yeah, even the strong ones) can have a heart attack or develop cancer, so things can go wrong up top, too. Chemicals go out of whack, or things misfire, and you reckon it's just down to 'strength'? Yes, I'm biased. I'm biased because I have suffered and do suffer with bipolar disorder, among other, even less fun things... You never have, lucky you, and I hope to God you never do. But by your own admission, you find it difficult to understand. But based on your admitted lack of understanding you still think for some reason that it's fine to go off on your own insulting tirade about how you're 'strong' and others are 'weak'? The original post on this thread is a sign of strength. It's strength you don't understand, and can't credit, but it's strength nonetheless. I don't know the history of this guy or his corp. I don't much care. I've got no reason not to take his post at face value, and taken that way it represents a big step for him, and at this point EVE becomes pretty irrelevant. He's explaining why real-world problems caused certain behaviours in the game, and that's something he didn't have to do. I don't expect everyone to be supportive - some people are just too bitter to say a kind word to or about anyone. But really, if you haven't got it in you to say something constructive, this is the kind of post that doesn't need your reply. Yeah, I know, you've every right to make it. But having the right to do something doesn't mean you have to do it. You might subscribe to the "snap out of it" school of psychology, but reality, sadly, doesn't. I'm sure a lot of sufferers would be delighted if it did. It would give them the power you seem to believe you've got over the physical workings of your brain.
Testy McServer	Posted - 2006.02.14 23:52:00 - [114] hey this isnt amateur psycology and this certainly wont fix your problem in any whatsoever. but dude, find some really good music that you've liked listening to in the past or maybe something new you really enjoy. you still need to seek help and what not, but good music is a powerful thing that can kind of work as a distraction. i know that sounds silly but i really am serious. not saying music is a solution to your problem, buts its a great thing to do along the way.
Vang Vorkain	Posted - 2006.02.14 23:55:00 - [115] Good luck! from all of us at STAR EMPIRE!
Kalindra naskan	Posted - 2006.02.14 23:56:00 - [116] Due to my inability to write meaningfull replies, I'm just going to go with everyone else. /signed Hope it all works out for you Benilopax. --- This sig is rated "N" for Nonexistent It's nonexistent btw - Cortes Ok I fixed it, now what?
Reatu Krentor	Posted - 2006.02.15 00:25:00 - [117] hope it works out for ya, B. ------------------------------------------ The ammatar are not the enemy, they are the smoke and mirrors of the amarr.
Raem Civrie	Posted - 2006.02.15 01:25:00 - [118] Originally by: Kaitiaki Edited by: Kaitiaki on 15/02/2006 00:20:26 Anger Relax, his jibe sounded more towards me and Wraythe rather than Benilopax. Also, his point is valid, if vague. Problems have a tendency to be huge to the one dealing with them. To people whose largest issue has been heartbreak, that eclipses the world. By comparison, someone who has dealt with chronic, severe depression sees heartbreak as just another brick in the road. Debolika faced something, and could deal with it himself. Apparently, it was the largest setback he/she has faced, and as such it was as big as the world to him/her. Serious, end-all depression is when you see no reason to get out of it. It's when you're so far down that you don't see the light anymore, and that's why it's self-perpetuating. As for whining, s/he's right. The world could do less without. Discussing it is another matter, though. --- God-King of Genitalia
TiraX	Posted - 2006.02.15 01:46:00 - [119] This is just a game man. Your well being is beyond this. I wish you the best of luck. And im sure your friends will understand. ---- No brain, No pain
Nebuli	Posted - 2006.02.15 02:21:00 - [120] Originally by: Debolika Originally by: Wrayeth Originally by: Raem Civrie You'd be surprised. It's extremely hard for people to understand severe depression and the many little niggling problems that can follow it (anxiety, paranoia, sociophobia, etc), if they haven't experienced it themselves or witnessed it firsthand. The sad fact is that often, patients stand alone. QFT. Just...QFT. Personally, I'm so sick of getting flak for not having motivation or ambition anymore. It's not like I don't want to have them, it's just that my dreams died somewhere along the way and I haven't yet found anything to replace them. When you're massively depressed, you're just kinda moving along at cruise control at best, just going through the motions. At worst, you've completely lost hope, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just an oncoming freight train. People who haven't experienced it just don't understand what it's like, and presume to judge on the basis of that lack of understanding. This is one of the reasons why I despise 90% of humanity. Whoa there buddy, don't go off on some half-ass tirade because people like me have a 'mental toolbox' that is able to sort OUR issues out without drugs and the like... You are right about one thing, people who deal with the not-so-kind aspects of life in a way that doesn't force them into a depressive state, don't understand those of you who are weaker in this regard... I have been to hell and back, taken the worst turns in my life and about screwed myself over into oblivion, yet you don't hear me complaining about my woes... The one thing I would want to hear from you supposed "victims" is to say that those of us that don't have depression are indeed 'stronger'... Any takers? Hmmm wtf, where to start. OK, from the age of 8 years old I got daily beatings from my step dad, it didnt get me down, I didnt get depressed, the age of 15 I left home and was essentialy homeless untill the age of 19, did I get dperessed? not at all, I got myself qualifications as an electrician while being homeless, I bought my house at 24 years old from being homeless at 15 through 19, never got me down once, guess I'm realy strong yeah? Aged 28 I suffered a heart attack, causes unknown to this day, guess what? I'm depressed, and suffering badly mentaly from it, as well as physicaly. You have no idea m8, and I truely hope you never do, but I went through some major sh*t as a kid and I never let it get me down once, then bam I get a physical problem that hit me realy hard, you dont choose for it to happen and its certainly nothing to do with being strong etc, it just happens, and as I said before I honestly hope you never find out for yourself. To the OP good luck to you, hope everything works out and you get the help you need, I wont give any advice because as stated above it can cause more harm than good, so just get better soon m8.

eveplayer11	Posted - 2006.02.15 03:13:00 - [121] Edited by: eveplayer11 on 15/02/2006 03:13:56 Im on anti-depressive pills, i have social fobia(or whatever its called in your language) and bad thoughts about life and myself. i realy know how its like and ive crushed friends both online and IRL, today i have 0 remaining of what used to be many. i KNOW how its like, even if i dont know how you feel, i know how it can be like. i play solo, because i know i dont work in a group, i cant be accepted and i cant trust in others. atleast you managed that for awhile I hope that you know this: if you began taking the pills recently or 1-2 months ago, please notice that most anti-depressive pills will work the other way around making everything worse. and thats quite normal! so stick with it untill the real effect kick in dont change pills unless your doctor agrees, because its very normal that you get worse before the pills starts their magic. the good effects can take several months some even up to a year to kick in for certain pills, so i would recommend discussing it with your doctor if you didnt know that. i would also stay away from the game untill they start to kick in or when you feel you can handle things better after the "getting worse" period. i wish you best of luck! and i hope your friends realy act like friends. edit: i recomend that the thread gets closed before it all gets to be a spam fest for idiots..
Teblin	Posted - 2006.02.15 03:59:00 - [122] Please keep this civil. Benilopax, I hope you feel better soon. It took guts to do what you did in posting this. forum rules \| [email protected]
Rein Fallow	Posted - 2006.02.15 04:11:00 - [123] Why did this become "My problems are worse then yours" thread? I support the OP, so that's out of the way. But if you've been to "Hell and back" then you shouldn't be here saying "My problems are this and this, and I think that mine are alot worse then yours" because that's what some of these posts look like. All of the ones I saw were directed NOT towards the OP, BTW. If you've been to "Hell and back" you should be here saying "/signed" or "Get better, we're here for you" and leaving it at that. And this really isn't the place/topic to be talking about YOUR issues, when someone else wants some support/whatever. I'm not talking to anyone directly, and I'm trying to be polite, BTW. I respect anyone who's been through bad(Awful? I dunno.) things, and can get up in the morning and say "**** happens." So...Yeah. I had kind of an amatuer therapy thing going on after this, but I cut it, and I think there may be some of that in the start of this rant/paragraph/whine/whatever, so edit it/delete it if you think so mods. :) Goes back to doing what he was doing, nothing. ------------------------------------------------ //////\ /\ ///(------) O-( ^_^ )-O ///(------) ///////\| Yes. Yes, that is Kirby on a uni-cycle.
Sergeant Spot	Posted - 2006.02.15 04:29:00 - [124] In response to Benilopax The "intent" to become a better person is a magical thing. If you have that "intent", and work towards it, slowly, bit by bit, it becomes reality. If you have a failure in your attempts, pick yourself and keep up the effort. As for psychiatric drugs, doctor perscribed or not, it is my FIRM belief (from ugly personal experence as a child decades ago) that somewhere between 95% and 99% are more harmful than good (in maybe 1% of case, there is a actual need for them). For kids, most such drugs are not to help the child, but to help the parent by doping the kid, which in the long run fixes nothing and only makes things worse. (I've long sense forgiven my parents and they've long sense realized their mistake. My experience had a happy ending in SPITE of the drugs.....) There "might" be a true need for such medical drugs for you, maybe, but also, maybe not. Seek medical advice from psychiatrists that state that they have a "minimalist" view on drugs (minimalist = "some needed in rare cases, but usually none needed). It bears repeating, sometimes there are real needs and valid uses for such medications, but only rarely.
Rein Fallow	Posted - 2006.02.15 04:45:00 - [125] Whoops, above post was meant to be from this guy. Darn market checking alts. ------------------------------------------------ //////\ /\ ///(------) O-( ^_^ )-O ///(------) ///////\| Yes. Yes, that is Kirby on a uni-cycle.
kkkke	Posted - 2006.02.15 04:45:00 - [126] Originally by: Sergeant Spot In response to Benilopax The "intent" to become a better person is a magical thing. If you have that "intent", and work towards it, slowly, bit by bit, it becomes reality. If you have a failure in your attempts, pick yourself and keep up the effort. QFT May not agree with everything you say, but that's far-and-beyond true, right there.
Ubel Feuer	Posted - 2006.02.15 04:57:00 - [127] If anything, I hope this helps the dev team to see just how powerful their game can be. Get better soon.
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.15 15:18:00 - [128] I can honestly say that when i saw a gold bar next to this thread I felt a lump in my throat. So many of you have wished me well and I thank you all for it. Unfortunately my corp did not agree that i should remain and i was kicked while i was at home making some decisions. I don't blame them for this action it was their choice and i remain loyal to them and consider them friends. So what has happened.... Well on monday I decided that I had taken all I could from life at UNI and wen't home. A surprise to my housemates and family I can assure you. After two days talking and thinking things over I decided to return to face what I was up against. I wen't to the doctor and he prescribed a new medication in order to stop the side effects while keeping my stomach healthy. He also advised that I needed to stop and rest and get myself sorted. To that end I have decided that I need a break from stress and will quit my uni course for the year and pick it up again in september, to repeat the second year. This gives me a six month "vacation" in which to get better and also relax and maybe see some of the world before returning to start again. On the eve front im gonna ease off gently the shock of just leaving was hard. I may stick with some light admin duties in my alliance or just stay in scope and do my own thing. However leadership and politics is definatly out. Be assured I will return eventually. As I know in my heart that this game is on the brink of greatness. And im proud to say that I help build it like each and every one of you did aswell. Thats all for now. Goodnight and Goodluck
Skaz	Posted - 2006.02.15 15:36:00 - [129] Get better man.. /signed - - "No, I'm not alt.....even if I have been in Pator Tech School for nearly 3 years..."
Kurren	Posted - 2006.02.15 15:46:00 - [130] Don't bother seeing Houston, TX... it'll just cause more stress each time you have to sit in traffic just to run to the store! Good luck to ya though, man. All the best, Kurren --- --- --- --- SobaKai.com

HippoKing	Posted - 2006.02.15 15:46:00 - [131] this thread gets a big "wow" and i'm glad to see you're getting back on track. all the best sigs of the 23/24/25 hijack just as well -eris yarrrr, i shall retake my sig -HippoKing Not a chance, our 1337 sig haXx0r sk1llz are too powerful! - Wrangler Ho-Ho-Hooooooo, Merry Saturday!11 - Immy Yo ho ho and a bottle of BReeEEEEeee.... - Jacques ARRRRRRchambault
GouldFish	Posted - 2006.02.15 16:22:00 - [132] I hope things get better dude.
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.15 16:23:00 - [133] Originally by: Debolika Whoa there buddy, don't go off on some half-ass tirade because people like me have a 'mental toolbox' that is able to sort OUR issues out without drugs and the like... You are right about one thing, people who deal with the not-so-kind aspects of life in a way that doesn't force them into a depressive state, don't understand those of you who are weaker in this regard... I have been to hell and back, taken the worst turns in my life and about screwed myself over into oblivion, yet you don't hear me complaining about my woes... The one thing I would want to hear from you supposed "victims" is to say that those of us that don't have depression are indeed 'stronger'... Any takers? Just a quick word to this guy. YOU DISGUST ME!
Martinus Crimson	Posted - 2006.02.15 16:29:00 - [134] Just ignore him, clear your quotes and i'm sure the mods will delete his post/warn him for his remark. And to Benilopax, good to read that update, shame your corp wasn't as understanding. Take care mate. ----------------- ^^ Now i got my own exotic dancers, thnx Chribba
Varis	Posted - 2006.02.15 17:24:00 - [135] Best of luck beni!
Go Team	Posted - 2006.02.15 17:48:00 - [136] Already said my best wishes, but i would also like to say:- Big up to the EVE community and mods. The support to Ben has been amazing, as I'm sure you all agree. /GT pats everyone on the back who was nice......
Morgit Seebring	Posted - 2006.02.15 18:27:00 - [137] Have only just caught up on this. Well done Benilopax. A fellow sufferer salutes you. To the Eve community, I salute you also. There was no need for any of you to say anything, but you did. All tried to help in their own way, imo, and that is a great thing (although I do not agree with all posters, I have to believe that all meant well). I had to take some time out of Eve previously, and returned. I found myself getting drawn in again, but have managed to back off my corp intentions and responsibilities. RL is the main objective. No amount of ISK is going to get your problems solved outside of Eve, but Eve can help you deal with stuff. Mindless mining, ninja mining through Alliance borders, or mindless blasting of npc's and mission running all have their therapeutic elements. I stay out of low sec cos I'm not sure how I would (RL) handle the loss I know will come. Eve is powerful. RL is more important. Morgit Live long and be honourable. Laugh often. Remember... it's a game!!
Entil Za	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:11:00 - [138] Hope is all works out Ben. All the best :) ASCN
Mrmuttley	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:20:00 - [139] Hey man. You got some big balls coming on the forum and saying all that Hope you get your sh1t back together soon ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CEO of the Smoking Hillbilly's Check out SMK We are recruiting
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:22:00 - [140] As you know my alliance kicked me out. But they also banned me so as im hated so much why not put away childish things and become a pirate and attack them all the time. So I have through Darkon Gatland my slave. "Irony" I belive letting go and just playing to have fun with pvp is just what I need. So I now say..... Goodbye FREGE!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!! Watch out EVE you just got a new AVON/Tank CEO!

Wrayeth	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:31:00 - [141] Edited by: Wrayeth on 15/02/2006 19:34:30 EDIT: I've been getting flak from my corp for wanting to go out and PvP in places where you don't immediately get outblobbed 30-to-1, and I'm in the exact same boat as you as far as needing to just let it go and have fun. Sometimes you have to just go out and do it and damn the consequences - after all, having fun is why we pay to play, right? -Wrayeth
Vishar	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:33:00 - [142] Dear G0D! The drama... I think i'm gonna puke. p.s. they will probably ban me from the boards for this... but lordy... personal matters shouldn't be laundered on public forums imo... it just comes off as poor-me-ism to the extreme.
Wrayeth	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:36:00 - [143] Originally by: Vishar Dear G0D! The drama... I think i'm gonna puke. p.s. they will probably ban me from the boards for this... but lordy... personal matters shouldn't be laundered on public forums imo... it just comes off as poor-me-ism to the extreme. Post with your main so I can set my personal standings and pod you a few thousand times. Thank you, and have a nice day. -Wrayeth
Vishar	Posted - 2006.02.15 19:50:00 - [144] Originally by: Wrayeth Originally by: Vishar Dear G0D! The drama... I think i'm gonna puke. p.s. they will probably ban me from the boards for this... but lordy... personal matters shouldn't be laundered on public forums imo... it just comes off as poor-me-ism to the extreme. Post with your main so I can set my personal standings and pod you a few thousand times. Thank you, and have a nice day. It is my main. Feel free. And I am sure that is why many have not expressed this view point ... too many people looking for an excuse:) People always look for a crusade, Turks and English had a great time ruining peoples lives for a "cause"... it was called the crusades.
Dao 2	Posted - 2006.02.15 21:28:00 - [145] Hope you get better and will come back to eve eventually, everyone else here had nice suggestions. ------------------------------------------------ NEWLY ADDED ON 1/19 (though applies to all posts before ;p) the usual "I don't represent my corp or alliance" and stuffs like that Also the gal
Capsicum	Posted - 2006.02.15 21:42:00 - [146] Thread cleaned. If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say anything at all. I urge you not to test me on this point -Capsicum forum rules \| [email protected] \| Our new Website! Tulips are great hey?
Hermia	Posted - 2006.02.15 21:58:00 - [147] Edited by: Hermia on 15/02/2006 22:04:17 Originally by: Benilopax Well on monday I decided that I had taken all I could from life at UNI and wen't home. A surprise to my housemates and family I can assure you. After two days talking and thinking things over I decided to return to face what I was up against. I wen't to the doctor and he prescribed a new medication in order to stop the side effects while keeping my stomach healthy. He also advised that I needed to stop and rest and get myself sorted. To that end I have decided that I need a break from stress and will quit my uni course for the year and pick it up again in september, to repeat the second year. This gives me a six month "vacation" in which to get better and also relax and maybe see some of the world before returning to start again. On the eve front im gonna ease off gently the shock of just leaving was hard. I may stick with some light admin duties in my alliance or just stay in scope and do my own thing. However leadership and politics is definatly out. This is so strange, your story is pretty much the parrallel of mine. I started uni a few years ago, and had to quit through some strange depression i cant fully explain, only that somehow i burned out. Firstly i got better through leaving eve and only corp ive ever been entertained by "Jericho Fraction", i was only there for a very short time, however i left these GREAT people when first day at uni hit. Thats the thing, you cant be serious about eve and uni at the same time. I just log on now and again, doing a mission here and there. But im better for it, and im pleased that your doing a similar thing, its the right decision. Life is good for me now, just today i found out that i got 70% and 76% for two peaces of course work, and my mathematics exam went well (although im not allowed to know the mark yet ). JF to me are still legendary, but i know i would fail my course if i regained contact Thats life. Edit: oh and im in no way as brave as you, i could never present the level of detail you did Northern Citizen
Uther Doull	Posted - 2006.02.15 22:16:00 - [148] can i have their stuff? on a more serious note, hope you get well soon
Leet Al	Posted - 2006.02.15 22:24:00 - [149] Best of luck, Ben. trapped in signature factory , send help! -crc
Womble God	Posted - 2006.02.16 00:32:00 - [150] dear ben, You are a very brave man. To admit in such a public place, and in front of total strangers, that you are suffering from something like this takes great courage. We all could learn something from the way you have handled both your illness and your acceptance of it. Too few people realise just how hard it can be to deal with anxiety, paranoia and depression. Games like this one can be a great outlet for stress but as others here have pointed out, when the game itself becomes a source of stress then it is time to take a step back. It makes me feel that there is hope for the human race when so many strangers can come together and offer support to another stranger, simply because they are another human being. I tend to think (optimistically some say) that if we all behaved this way more often, then we would all be better off. I offer you whatever help I can, one human to another, and my deepest hopes that you can recover what you have lost. Take care Ben. May you take comfort in the kidness of strangers Killing Smurfs without prejudice since 1978

Troye	Posted - 2006.02.16 00:54:00 - [151] Edited by: Troye on 16/02/2006 00:56:36 Originally by: Hermia This is so strange, your story is pretty much the parrallel of mine. I started uni a few years ago, and had to quit through some strange depression i cant fully explain, only that somehow i burned out. Firstly i got better through leaving eve and only corp ive ever been entertained by "Jericho Fraction", i was only there for a very short time, however i left these GREAT people when first day at uni hit. Thats the thing, you cant be serious about eve and uni at the same time. I just log on now and again, doing a mission here and there. But im better for it, and im pleased that your doing a similar thing, its the right decision. Life is good for me now, just today i found out that i got 70% and 76% for two peaces of course work, and my mathematics exam went well (although im not allowed to know the mark yet ). JF to me are still legendary, but i know i would fail my course if i regained contact Thats life. Edit: oh and im in no way as brave as you, i could never present the level of detail you did What you said realy hit home for me, I'm spending far too much time on EVE, my Uni work is suffering. My flat mates knocked on my door last night wondering where I'd been for the past 2 days... If I thought my corporation would be ok without me I'd Happily take a break. Untill then... And GL to you Ben, I hope it works out alright for you.
Conner Aeolus	Posted - 2006.02.16 02:01:00 - [152] Edited by: Conner Aeolus on 16/02/2006 02:01:21 lol ben, dont you have people in real life to *** to instead of posting this bull**?
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.16 02:51:00 - [153] Originally by: Conner Aeolus Edited by: Conner Aeolus on 16/02/2006 02:01:21 lol ben, dont you have people in real life to *** to instead of posting this bull**? Yeah well conner are you gonna keep podding corp mates when rl gets you down?
Ltmayday	Posted - 2006.02.16 02:52:00 - [154] Originally by: Conner Aeolus Edited by: Conner Aeolus on 16/02/2006 02:01:21 lol ben, dont you have people in real life to *** to instead of posting this bull**? dude not nice saying that @ ben take care of ur self man and ye take time off eve and try and get well we hope to see u again when u get better Ltmayday Training: Makeing Toys
Karistis	Posted - 2006.02.16 02:58:00 - [155] Get well soon. Good luck at uni. I'll be praying for you. _________________________________________ 2005.01.17 22:04:22 combat Chackle [PUSY] perfectly runs from you, wrecking for 1500 cowardice.
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.16 03:02:00 - [156] Ive had a bad day today after returning to my house at my uni city and logging on to find out what had happened to me i got insulted by former friends who just didn't understand what i was going through so i got angry and made a few stupid threads. I'm sorry but i just lost it for a bit when my good friend threw everything back in my face. I'm thinking about quitting my character and starting again so i can carry on without abuse. Is that a good idea?
Ltmayday	Posted - 2006.02.16 03:08:00 - [157] Originally by: Benilopax Ive had a bad day today after returning to my house at my uni city and logging on to find out what had happened to me i got insulted by former friends who just didn't understand what i was going through so i got angry and made a few stupid threads. I'm sorry but i just lost it for a bit when my good friend threw everything back in my face. I'm thinking about quitting my character and starting again so i can carry on without abuse. Is that a good idea? no u just making it has they hav won dont back down to what they say to u just use the block and get on with ur char join a new corp and try and get on Training: Makeing Toys
Sandler	Posted - 2006.02.16 03:13:00 - [158] Dont start over. How long did it take you to acquire your skills? This is a game...(with alot of cry babys). If people take offense, then just ignore them. Get better and then get even.
Benilopax	Posted - 2006.02.16 04:59:00 - [159] Can't handle the abuse and stigma im getting so im quitting eve. Have filed petitions on those who were most unkind on a sensitive subject. Goodbye peeps. Flysafe.
Conner Aeolus	Posted - 2006.02.16 05:05:00 - [160] lol abuse and stigma? its a ******* game... get over it, take a look around at the REAL WORLD, thanks for quitting though, i appreciate that.

Turiel Demon	Posted - 2006.02.16 05:12:00 - [161] The mods/gm's should be able to sort out any of the flack you're getting ingame and on the forums, I'm sure there's quite a few people here who have corps that wouldn't mind taking you in, to give you a bit of an escape. Going cold turkey on EvE isn't always a complete success... Good luck to you Benilopax, I hope you can get your life how you want it to be soon. ---- nothing to see here, move along nicely now, is that a pink dread out there. aaww you just missed it -eris It's not an Eidolon with 5 Basic Miner's on it, that's for certain.(FF04) ~kieron No love for me? :'( - Wrangler If you can't beat Eris, join her, hmmm that sounded so much better in my head - Cortes Cuddles Eeyore. He's soooo cute and doesn't play EVE. perfect -eris Eve-online Forum mods arn't Pokemon, you don't need to collect them all - Ductoris Here's my autograph - now do I get some groupie lub? Jacques' Don't be greedy :P -Capsicum
Troye	Posted - 2006.02.16 05:21:00 - [162] Originally by: Benilopax Can't handle the abuse and stigma im getting so im quitting eve. Have filed petitions on those who were most unkind on a sensitive subject. Goodbye peeps. Flysafe. I know your going through a tough time right now but I think your going over the top. The majority of the posts here have been extremely supportive and kind, there are always idiots who will pounce on every available oportunity to put some one down. Come a month this thread will be off the front page and people will have found somthing else to gwork at. They wont even think about this thread, people are very fickle. You were brave for posting this and its got you alot of respect, dont run away from it.
Shittake	Posted - 2006.02.16 06:14:00 - [163] Edited by: **take on 16/02/2006 06:14:50 Well, I am going to take the "non politically correct" road on this one. This guy seems unstable. I have dealt with unstable people in this game. I do not like it. If you have some pshychological/psychiatric problems then don't play this game and then whine on the forums about how your affliction has caused you to freak out and do stupid things. Seek help and stop pushing your affliction on the rest of the community. I hate how everything these days is a medical condition and is explained away. If your fat, it's not your fault, you have an eating disorder or genetic predispostion. If you're a drunk, it's because you inheritted a genetic predisposition . . it's not your fault, you were predisposed to be this way. All this is complete and utter garbage. Shut up, take your meds, and play the game or STFU and stop unloading your personal crap on the rest of us.
dantes inferno	Posted - 2006.02.16 06:26:00 - [164] Quote: Shut up, take your meds, and play the game or STFU and stop unloading your personal crap on the rest of us. as far as im aware no one put a gun to your head and forced you to read this..it was your choice to do it. its obvious from your reply that you have not suffered or known anyone to suffer from a disorder of this type...so please dont comment on something you know nothing of you just look a tit. anyhow best of luck to the op, ignore the idiots who give ridiculous replys and i hope it all works out for you _____ This is a Stain Alliance Fighter. It is protecting the assets of Stain Alliance, and may attack anyone it perceives as a threat, Threat Level: Trigglarist Fundermentalist
Shittake	Posted - 2006.02.16 06:34:00 - [165] Do I come on these forums and whine about my cash issues in RL? NO! Do I come on these forums and whine about how my sore back caused me to lose a ship once? NO! Do I come on these forums and whine about how I drank too much and lost a couple battleships in a belt mining because I passed out at my PC drunk? NO!! All of these are examples of RL issues that I chose NOT to start a thread on the forums. Simple. Stop burdening strangers with your RL issues. That's what your therapist is all about.

Ductoris	Posted - 2006.02.16 06:56:00 - [166] As the OP has decided to leave, this topic has no where else to go but to continue a spiral down into a flaming crash. Good luck in what ever you decide to do Benilopa. Everyone else, time to move on Locked forum rules \| [email protected]


Wrangler	Posted - 2006.02.16 09:40:00 - [167] Originally by: Benilopax Can't handle the abuse and stigma im getting so im quitting eve. Have filed petitions on those who were most unkind on a sensitive subject. Goodbye peeps. Flysafe. Ok, this was locked, but I wanted to put a final post in here. First of all, we had to delete and even warn for some of the things posted in this thread. Quite frankly I had to restrain myself a bit and not just go and issue a temporary ban on some of you. If a person has problem you really have two choices, go away or be supportive. There is a third choice, you can be abusive, but trust me, we will be hard on you if you choose that option. Please note that some posts have also been edited or deleted because they were replying to posts we had to delete. Benilopax, I'm sorry that you had to get abuse from certain people. I think you should leave EVE for now, and focus on getting better. But don't make a decision to quit when you're feeling like this. Call it a break and decide when you're better. If you wish to reactivate your account it will still be here. And again, if there's anything we can do to help, feel free to email us. [Read the Rules!] - [Contact us] I <3 Imaran, he is for teh sexeh winÖ; But Eris Discordia beats them all ; Apart from Imaran, because he's Teh PwnÖ; IBTL - Imaran; click -Capsicum; IATL - Ductoris; h4x - Imaran ; Jacques - the fastest lock in teh Galaxy; I are t3h roxeur - Eshtir; /me 4TW - Imaran; Be my godfather? - Santi; Hi Mom! o/ --Jorauk; Wrangler likes sheep -Zhuge Due to lack of funds the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off, remember to upgrade your clone!



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