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Before you Complain, who are you?

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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 4 post(s)
Serenity Steele Rearden Steele Interstellar Starbase Syndicate	Posted - 2006.11.15 23:51:00 - [1] Edited by: Serenity Steele on 15/11/2006 23:52:02 Just read this article in Wired, and well, If no-one else does, I hope the GM's will get a laugh out of it: Complainers of the World Unite Eve Strategic Maps - Outpost Alert
Manus Ghostface Caldari Quantum Industries Prime Orbital Systems	Posted - 2006.11.15 23:53:00 - [2] Im a semi reformed Deathmonger. That city is well fortified which has a wall of men instead of brick. - Lycurgus

Karl Chroimcer Forum Moderator Interstellar Services Department	Posted - 2006.11.15 23:53:00 - [3] Hillarious forum rules \| [email protected] Complainers of the World Unite

Kyguard Fire Mandrill Astrophobics	Posted - 2006.11.15 23:55:00 - [4] Edited by: Kyguard on 15/11/2006 23:56:08 Quote: The Eternal Quitter Just comes on the forum to let everyone know he's quitting for good and to spend a dozen paragraphs explaining why. Then does it again three months later. Sample Quote: "For real, this time." Punishment: Forced to actually quit. This is the best one. === It's great being Amarr, aint it?(tm) [Insert badass sig to match ego here]
Calisto Cody Minmatar The Black Swan Society	Posted - 2006.11.15 23:59:00 - [5] I knew an eternal quiter.. I guess i would be..The Magical Realist What makes a man? Is it the woman in his arms? Just 'cause she has big ***** Or is the way He fights everyday? No, it's probably the *****
Patch86 Di-Tron Heavy Industries Freelancer Alliance	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:02:00 - [6] Originally by: Wired News The Deathmonger Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough. Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?" Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents. I lol'd. -----------------------------------------------
Tao Han Caldari Perkone	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:14:00 - [7] Quote: If you play an online game that you enjoy, there's one surefire way to spoil the experience: read the forums on the official site. There you will find a vast underworld of lost souls keening their misery onto your screen. Seriously, this is so true its not even funny
murder one Gallente CRICE Corporation Lotka Volterra	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:15:00 - [8] Originally by: Patch86 Originally by: Wired News The Deathmonger Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough. Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?" Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents. I lol'd. yep, I'm a deathmonger. It's not that I like killing every FNA noob that I see, it's just that it's soooo easy.... (ok, maybe I like it a little) Because I said so...
Audri Fisher Caldari The Keep THE R0CK	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:16:00 - [9] Originally by: Patch86 Originally by: Wired News The Deathmonger Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough. Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?" you forgeot best part.. The Deathmonger Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough. Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?" Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents. Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents. Punishment: To be determines, pending DNA analysis of freezor contents
DubanFP Caldari	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:18:00 - [10] Originally by: Kyguard Edited by: Kyguard on 15/11/2006 23:56:08 Quote: The Eternal Quitter Just comes on the forum to let everyone know he's quitting for good and to spend a dozen paragraphs explaining why. Then does it again three months later. Sample Quote: "For real, this time." Punishment: Forced to actually quit. This is the best one. Agreed, but the magical Realist definately comes in a close second. "Why do ships have a max speed!? They should keep accellerating indefinately!!!" __________________________ Why babelfish is bad mmm k "which the night do not expect that it calls the primary education before becoming deformed inside"
MrShooter Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:24:00 - [11] Quote: The Majority Stockholder Seems to believe that $15 a month buys you a seat on the board of directors. Doesn't realize that a hundred thousand other people are ponying up the same amount. Sample Quote: "I've e-mailed the developers several times telling them that Fire Paladins should have the axe-throwing skill. They haven't changed it, but they're still taking my money!." Punishment: Forced to work customer service for an online game company. After reading all the "I'm entitled to this game feature change, I pay money, fix it" posts on the forums of many different MMOs, this made me laugh hard.
Dark Shikari Caldari Imperium Technologies Firmus Ixion	Posted - 2006.11.16 00:26:00 - [12] Oh so true -[23] Member- Awesome new space games site, from the editor of E-ON!
Irrilian Eve University Ivy League	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:03:00 - [13] Whether they have an agenda or not, people complain and get into heated debates on forums because they are engaged with the game, they care about some emotional investment in it. Though you may find us a pain to deal with, its time to worry when there are no complaints.
Vazion	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:06:00 - [14] I'm sorry, I cannot take this seriously. As they do not have Forum ***** as an option. Therefore it is incomplete. Punishment? Posting limit.
Crumplecorn Gallente Aerial Boundaries Inc. Interstellar Starbase Syndicate	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:07:00 - [15] This should be a sticky, it's so true. Quote: Punishment: Sent to Sudan to experience first-hand what oppression actually feels like. ---------- IBTL \o/
evistin Multiverse Corporation	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:13:00 - [16] LOL..... ----------- Management and Leadership
Hectic Reikoku Band of Brothers	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:18:00 - [17] I like this one, Quote: The Majority Stockholder Seems to believe that $15 a month buys you a seat on the board of directors. Doesn't realize that a hundred thousand other people are ponying up the same amount. Sample Quote: "I've e-mailed the developers several times telling them that Fire Paladins should have the axe-throwing skill. They haven't changed it, but they're still taking my money!." Punishment: Forced to work customer service for an online game company.
Treelox Amarr Solar Storm Axiom Empire	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:23:00 - [18] lol beautiful the whole article needs to be on the first page of the new ISD forum mods manual. -- Signature edited - this is your last warning - Jacques
Admai Sket	Posted - 2006.11.16 01:27:00 - [19] Rofl. --------- NEED A SIG PLEASE.

Kaemonn Forum Moderator Interstellar Services Department	Posted - 2006.11.16 02:19:00 - [20] I endorse this thread. forum rules \| [email protected]\| Eve-CCG You mean to tell me, theres a game that goes with the forums?

Admai Sket	Posted - 2006.11.16 02:41:00 - [21] Originally by: Kaemonn I endorse this thread. Wholeheartedly? --------- NEED A SIG PLEASE.
Leosian Caldari Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2006.11.16 03:51:00 - [22] I love it and agree with it completely
Pan Crastus	Posted - 2006.11.16 03:53:00 - [23] Originally by: Serenity Steele Edited by: Serenity Steele on 15/11/2006 23:52:02 Just read this article in Wired, and well, If no-one else does, I hope the GM's will get a laugh out of it: Complainers of the World Unite Moderately funny, but a bit misplaced, since a large number of complainers on eve-o complain about the lag and the bugs. Curiously, there seemed to be no witty way to ridicule them.
Flesh Eater	Posted - 2006.11.16 04:51:00 - [24] I think Sticky status is in order...if it only makes a handful of whiners reconsider their posts, it will be worth it.
mazzilliu Caldari Sniggerdly	Posted - 2006.11.16 04:53:00 - [25] im a deathmonger. i pay 15 whole dollars every month and concord still doesnt let me pry open newbies pods and force feed them to the amarr wth do they think this is some fantasy sci fi space game... 1000% awesome guide to logging out

Karl Chroimcer Forum Moderator Interstellar Services Department	Posted - 2006.11.16 04:55:00 - [26] Oh how I wish I could apply glue to this post forum rules \| [email protected] Complainers of the World Unite

Kesslan Osefice Panther's Paw Industries Ltd	Posted - 2006.11.16 05:07:00 - [27] Oh so true this post be :D
Leverton Caldari AWE Corporation Ascendant Frontier	Posted - 2006.11.16 05:08:00 - [28] Lol, that was really funny, I'm glad I read it. If I had to narrow down, I'd say I'm a The Majority Stockholder more than any other category. -- The universe is governed by the aggressive use of force. Hows this for a little note! Oh, and YARRRRR!! - Petwraith I prefer the term RAWR - Xorus
Detavi Kade	Posted - 2006.11.16 06:51:00 - [29] majority stockholder ftw! -- I think they left one out though..."Moses" - guild/corp leader of 200+ and if the devs don't do what he says, he's leaving and taking all his buddies with him.
Victor Valka Caldari Archon Industries	Posted - 2006.11.16 06:53:00 - [30] Too true!
ELECTR0FREAK Eye of God Axiom Empire	Posted - 2006.11.16 07:05:00 - [31] Edited by: ELECTR0FREAK on 16/11/2006 07:06:45 Ouch, I can see just a bit of the Magical Realist in me. :Wavy reminscent flashback: "WTF, the Chimera is the same size of a Mammoth! And it can carry a Mammoth? How is that in any way realistic?!" "Dude... the Caracal has more mass than the Maller. OMGWTF?!" "I'd really like to see maneuvering thrusters... how in heck do the ships stop?" "IMO, missile explosion velocity really would work best if it took into account whether the ship was flying INTO the explosion or not..." etc... Discoverer of the Missile Damage Formula
Royaldo KVA Noble Inc. THE H0RDE	Posted - 2006.11.16 08:45:00 - [32] this is spot on. this and the southpark episode with wow.
Jim McGregor Caldari	Posted - 2006.11.16 09:00:00 - [33] Loved it (even though im a whiner myself sometimes). :) Another pretty cool article: Dont hate the player Us players are a special breed of people... :) --- Eve Wiki \| Eve Tribune \| Eve Pirate
Jim McGregor Caldari	Posted - 2006.11.16 09:04:00 - [34] By the way... The Power Craver - Gallente The Majority Stockholders - Forum warrors like me :) The Eternal Quitter - Well, you know who you are... One-Issue Poster - Amarr --- Eve Wiki \| Eve Tribune \| Eve Pirate
Hohenheim OfLight Pegasus Mining and Securities R0ADKILL	Posted - 2006.11.16 09:06:00 - [35] Rflo ---------------------------------------------- Gone but not forgotten
Mirasta Caldari Enigma Enterprises Veritas Immortalis	Posted - 2006.11.16 09:16:00 - [36] If i said i loled... i wouldent be lieing :S Bookmarked for laterlols Of couse, You are now reading my sig.
Irrilian Eve University Ivy League	Posted - 2006.11.16 10:19:00 - [37] A more general taxonomy: Flame warriors.
Decadent Diva	Posted - 2006.11.16 10:51:00 - [38] The Emancipator Sees the game as a titanic struggle between the evil expressive developers and the poor, downtrodden gamers. The evidence? Every rule and limitation in the game. Sample Quote: "I don't see why I have to complete quests to get epic weapons! If I want my second-level Bumblefur Bard to wield the Deathsword of Arat'rak'k'k'k, that's my right! Quit telling me how to play!" R&d and T2 lottery anyone? ^^

Eldo Davip Forum Moderator Interstellar Services Department	Posted - 2006.11.16 12:17:00 - [39] ah exxxcellent. Someone need to re-word this to fit Eve. ___ Email Us (Report a bad post) \| Forum Rules - Read 'em! \| Website EvE ONLINE - T+TALHELLDEATH SUPPORTER

Nikita Fontaine Caldari g guild	Posted - 2006.11.16 13:12:00 - [40] Sample Quote: "The Pastry Elves' laugh should be less bubbly and more tinkly. Our giggle should remind you of gazing at the stars as a child, and our smile should make you think of the taste of honey on a cool spring morning." that made me nearly **** myself laughing ----------------------------------------------- Great minds think alike but fools seldom differ Directors are like buttons they hold things together.
Naran Darkmood Gallente	Posted - 2006.11.16 13:12:00 - [41] Originally by: Pan Crastus Moderately funny, but a bit misplaced, since a large number of complainers on eve-o complain about the lag and the bugs. Curiously, there seemed to be no witty way to ridicule them. Programming expert This guy realy knows how to make bug-free software, he even programmed something himself, either a tetris or he even was involed in a MMORPG gone backrupt. Quote: "I reported this visualisation bug 5 times already and it's still not fixed! Stop adding content and fix the bugs first!" Punishment: made to check a 20 volume dictonary for spelling mistakes which is to be printed tomorrow Internet Guru He knows everthing about network latency, bandwidth and routing. Quote: "Since the last patch loading my character details takes 0.5 seconds longer. Can't they host their server decently?" Punishment: Made to patch WoW Europe with a firewall active. (Patcher told me it would take 5 days ) Originally by: Patch86 How ironic that "****" (polish) is filtered, but "arse" and "ass" are not. No polish swearing on these English language only forums, or bannage!
evistin Multiverse Corporation	Posted - 2006.11.16 14:06:00 - [42] The Power Craver Wants only one thing -- more power with less effort. Any downgrade in power is infuriating. Any upgrade is insufficient. Sample Quote: "You boosted the Sentry guns at gates!! How am I suppose to snipe harmless transports at 1000km away now" Punishment: Forced to admit that no matter how powerful in the game, still sell his body for cash to play eve. The Magical Realist Doesn't understand what a "game" is. Constantly makes arguments based on what would be "realistic," even if the game is set in a fantasy world run by wizards and pixies. Sample Quote: "You canÆt tell me the Titian canÆt shoot a Frigate!!! ThatÆs just so unreal!" Punishment: Adjust his clone to Grade Alpha and pod him. The Majority Stockholder Seems to believe that $15 a month buys you a seat on the board of directors. Doesn't realize that a hundred thousand other people are ponying up the same amount. Sample Quote: "For my 1 zillion post on why WCS should not be nerfed, because I really want to sill run away and be a solo pwn mobile." Punishment: Forced to answer all GTC fraud sales by himself. The Emancipator Sees the game as a titanic struggle between the evil expressive developers and the poor, downtrodden gamers. The evidence? Every rule and limitation in the game. Sample Quote: "Why canÆt I grind to increase my skill level, its STUPID I canÆt make my skills go up any faster! The Dev are *** people who know nuts about MMO" Punishment: Hand write and respond to every mail sent to [email protected] The Eternal Quitter Just comes on the forum to let everyone know he's quitting for good and to spend a dozen paragraphs explaining why. Then does it again three months later. Sample Quote: "I am going to play wow guys, and ** you all" Punishment: Give his 99 million SP character to a newbie to use. One-Issue Poster Only has one complaint, but posts about it 15 times a day. This is because nobody else cares. Sample Quote: "Server has crashed AGAIN, CCP FIX THIS CRAP!!!" Punishment: Have the player join an ammar corp involved in faction warfare. The Lifestyler Wants a bunch of cosmetic changes to a single type of character. Exhibits an eerie level of identification with said character. Sample Quote: "TomÆs ego is too small, it needs to be bigger" Punishment: Character icon replaced with ô!ö permantly The Deathmonger Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough. Sample Quote: "I am really a nice guy, I just want to MDK all the newbies in the starting area, its just a great source of income for me, I make like 10 isk an hour." Punishment: Have him PVP in a shuttle. ----------- Management and Leadership
Synapse Archae Amarr Solarflare Heavy Industries	Posted - 2006.11.17 11:24:00 - [43] The great thing about eve, is the deathmongers have nothing to complain about. Example: Why cant I gank peoples battleships in jit...waaaiiit, I can! Cool! Punishment for not realizing how awsome eve is: forced to play Hello Kitty Online. ~ ~ ~ Originally by: The Knight True, in fact...I think it was during the battle of the bulge when we first realized the Germans were using WCS.
Benco97 Gallente Multiverse Corporation	Posted - 2006.11.17 11:35:00 - [44] Oh dear.. i'm afraid I may be a combination of "one-issue poster" and "The Lifestyler". I make posts regarding a particular ship that I really like and nobody cares ;.; Head of the Fedo Appreciation Group and Registered Fedo breeder (Sig kindly supplied by Zurtur)
Matrix Aran Legio Immortalis	Posted - 2006.11.17 12:29:00 - [45] Oh if we can't sticky this thread than please just don't let it sink down the forum. This thread is so true right about now (You guys crying over whats left of your battlecruisers, you know who you are ) ----
Wrayeth Tabula Rasa Systems The Star Fraction	Posted - 2006.11.17 12:42:00 - [46] -coughs- Nothing to see here. Nope, nothing. -Wrayeth "Look, pa! I just contributed absolutely nothing to this thread!"
Brolly Caldari The Department of Justice	Posted - 2006.11.17 12:51:00 - [47] lol, kinda brakes up the musky stink on the forums. If I had ú1 for every intelligent comment posted in general discussion, I'd be hideously in debt
DarkElf Caldari Euphoria Released	Posted - 2006.11.17 13:27:00 - [48] lol very good DE
Detavi Kade	Posted - 2006.11.29 20:16:00 - [49] bump, for a much needed breather from all these post-revelations posts.
Alowishus Shadow Company Alektorophobia	Posted - 2006.11.29 20:32:00 - [50] Unbelievably true. My favorites were the Eternal Quitter and the Majority Stockholder. Probably the two that can be applied to the Eve forums most often. So many times I see people say things like, "I'm not paying $15 a month to get griefed whenever I try to run L4 missions in lowsec!" Or howsabout, "if they nerf WCS, I quit!" I wonder where I would fall? I mostly complain about the community rather than the game. I think the game is great, balanced and fun. I have no complaints worth mentioning. But as for the players, well, to be honest, I hate 99% of you. And I think most of you really, truly suck at Eve and probably life. The only reason I don't wish most players would up and quit is because then who would there be to "grief"? Someone creative please write a definition of the type of forum poster I am.

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