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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Stitcher
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
   |
Posted - 2009.02.15 22:52:00 -
[1]
Ammunition
Amarr: "The Lord shall provide"
Caldari: "Consult Corporate Reference Manual TR-33x-44765 beta: 'What to do when you run out of ammo."
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
Minmatar: "no problem, the whole ship is ammo"
Fuel
Amarr: "You there, Slave! Into the reactor!
Caldari: Nonsense, soldier, our superior Caldari technology doesn't NEED fuel!
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
Minmatar: "I need ten minutes, some copper tubing, and some beer"
Beer
Amarr: "The Lord shall provide."
Caldari: "Suck it up, soldier!"
Gallente: "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Minmatar: "I need ten minutes, some copper tubing, and some starship fuel"
Make your own contributions, folks.
-
Verin "Stitcher" Hakatain. |
Skyee Everson
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 22:54:00 -
[2]
2/10 i laughed a little
|
Kravick Drasari
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 22:57:00 -
[3]
I laughed. 
---
My cat Putter approves of this post. |
Khemul Zula
Amarr
Keisen Trade League
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 22:58:00 -
[4]
I want the last 30 seconds of my life back.
Will accept payment in ISK or random loot.
Sig is now EVE related. Happy mods? |
Dantes Revenge
Caldari
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:07:00 -
[5]
Capacitor:
Amarr: Stop the guns and the repper and run for it!
Caldari: Keep launching them missiles, we don't need cap to kill them.
Gallente: Mummy!
Minmatar: Grab that pack of D cells and some duct tape and tape them in place properly this time.
Armor:
Amarr: The lord repper giveth and the evil Gallente taketh away.
Caldari: Guy's it seems we have a minor problem here...
Gallente: What do you mean no repper noob? This is an armour tanker.
Minmatar: Quick here's a few empty beer cans, tape them around the hull.
--
There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
All this has happened before and will happen again |
Shenko Minara
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:09:00 -
[6]
 Originally by: Skyee Everson
2/10 i laughed a little
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
--
99% of Eve-o posters should stop posting. This probably includes me, but definitely includes you. |
white kight
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:10:00 -
[7]
I lol'd
|
Skyee Everson
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:13:00 -
[8]
ouch someone takes this fourm a little too seriously.
|
Khemul Zula
Amarr
Keisen Trade League
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:15:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Shenko Minara
Originally by: Skyee Everson
2/10 i laughed a little
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
TMI 
Sig is now EVE related. Happy mods? |
cpu939
Gallente
OffBeat Creations
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:16:00 -
[10]
Minerails for building a ship
Amarr: slave get to work and mine us more
Caldari: the corp shall mine it
Gallente: refine that mission loot
Minmatar : use ductape.
|
Skyee Everson
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:16:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Khemul Zula
Originally by: Shenko Minara
Originally by: Skyee Everson
2/10 i laughed a little
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
TMI
Now thats priceless
|
Bigpimping
Pimp Inc.
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:33:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Shenko Minara
Originally by: Skyee Everson
2/10 i laughed a little
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
Did you breathe at all whilst typing that...?
________________________________________
He who pimps, is God... |
Gealbhan
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:33:00 -
[13]
Missions:
Amarr: Burn with Holy Fury!!!!
Caldari: Fire the Missiles!
Gallente: But I'm le tired.
Minmatar: Git some, git some!!!
|
Steppa
Gallente
Federal Defence Union
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:39:00 -
[14]
Quote From A Pre-Battle Chat, Fountain Alliance, circa 2005.
"Never go into battle horny. You'll just keep trying to board other ships."
|
Thargat
Caldari
North Star Networks
Executive Outcomes
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 23:52:00 -
[15]
Capcaitor
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the generators aren't providing enough power!"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"
First Officer- ".......hnnnnch"
Captain- "I want that power, not excuses"
New First Officer- "Yes captain, we shall triple our efforts"
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, we forsee see a decline in supply vs demand of energy"
Captain- "Nonsense, get a cheaper contractor on the horn and order some more"
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r outta cap"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 1% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Breathing 0.0 |
Stitcher
Caldari
Caldari Provisions
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:00:00 -
[16]
hehe, keep 'em coming folks
-
Verin "Stitcher" Hakatain. |
Armoured C
Gallente
Federation of Freedom Fighters
Executive Outcomes
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:00:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Thargat
Capcaitor
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the generators aren't providing enough power!"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"
First Officer- ".......hnnnnch"
Captain- "I want that power, not excuses"
New First Officer- "Yes captain, we shall triple our efforts"
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, we forsee see a decline in supply vs demand of energy"
Captain- "Nonsense, get a cheaper contractor on the horn and order some more"
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r outta cap"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 1% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
epic
well were camped in so im going to think long and hard bout this one
This week EvE Life: Wormhole Wars 01/Feb
|
Captain Pompous
Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:05:00 -
[18]
(Perceived) Game Problems
Amarr - Narf Minmatar
Caldari - ***** about how all these new folks have come into MD and don't really know what they're on about
Gallente - Buff exotic dancers (with edible wax ^^)
Minmatar - Waah, waah, my race's ships suck and they're marginally slower now
--------------------------------------------
Yes, my name is Pompous. Yes, this has been designed for maximum deliberate effect. Well done for pointing that out. Well done you. |
Faife
Federation of Freedom Fighters
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:08:00 -
[19]
Quote:
sir! we've run out of X! what do we do?
go mine more X, idiot.
|
SigmaPi
Sniggerdly
Pandemic Legion
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:12:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Armoured C
well were camped in so im going to think long and hard bout this one
:sorry:
---------------------
SigmaPi
|
|
CCP Whisper
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:30:00 -
[21]
When presented with a 1 meter length of I-beam:
Amarr: "That would be a slave hobbling post, no?"
Caldari: "That is a scale model of the latest Caldari Navy battleship design."
Gallente: "Some form of abstract sculpture expressing the stark nature of alcoholism?"
Minmatar: "Sweet. Ammunition."
Upon discovering a spot of rust on the ship's hull:
Amarr: "Gah! Send a slave out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Caldari: "Gah! Send an ensign out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Gallente: "Gah! Send a polishing drone out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Minmatar: "...what do you mean there's only one spot of rust?"
|
|
eFart
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:35:00 -
[22]
in jita
amarr wtf ima stuck fix lag
minmar wtf ima stuck fix lag
gallente wtf ima stuck fix lga
caldari wtf ima stuck fixa lag
|
Thargat
Caldari
North Star Networks
Executive Outcomes
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:45:00 -
[23]
Originally by: CCP Whisper
Amarr: "Gah! Send a slave out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Caldari: "Gah! Send an ensign out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Gallente: "Gah! Send a polishing drone out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Minmatar: "...what do you mean there's only one spot of rust?"
Made me lulz
Shields are GONE
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the treacherous enemy have shredded our shields!"
Captain, to himself- "GOD is our shield, faith is our armor"
First Officer- "Beg you'r pardon sire, but shouldn't we engage our armor repair systems and have damage control crews put on alert just in case?"
Captain- "HERESY, HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE WILL OF GOD?"
First Officer- "......nhhhhhch"
Captain- "Gods will be done, NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS AND CLEANSE THE GALAXY OF THAT ABOMINATION"
New First Officer- "Captain, it seems the generators are running low with energy"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"......
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r going into armor"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 10% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them shield thingies are broken now"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Wuts what? We have those? Can we duct-tape it?"
Guy with ray-bans- "Dunno, don' tink so'"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Than we nick's sum'one els's"
Guy with ray-bans- "Uhh, cant be dun"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Thun why da **** u buggin' me?, I gots better stuff to do dan worrys abouts stuff we dont has and can't steal, too much o' dat already" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."
Breathing 0.0 |
Khemul Zula
Amarr
Keisen Trade League
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:48:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Thargat
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 10% remains undecided"
I approve of this method of voting. 
Sig is now EVE related. Happy mods? |
Gryphius
Caldari
Alarius Elementum
EvE Consortium
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 00:49:00 -
[25]
Hehe. I lol'd
---------------------------------
From #eve-chaos
[11:47am] Ulviirala: my damn balls are bigger than these veldspar roids
~
[12:00am] Evelgrivion: I VIOLENCE UR BOAT
|
Esna Pitoojee
Amarr
TalCorp Enterprises
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 01:03:00 -
[26]
Upon being bumped out of position by a much larger ship on the approach to a stargate:
AMARR: "You shall burn forever for that offense!"
CALDARI: "Damn. It's going to take us 18.34 seconds to get back into range. There goes our efficiency rating."
GALLENTE: "Now, didn't they teach you in school that aggresive driving just makes it more dangerous for everyone?"
MINMATAR: "Why are bits of my ship coming off?"
Upon running out of cap booster charges:
AMARR: *Silence. The ship spontaneously explodes due to a lack of much-needed power.*
CALDARI: "Wow. They're actually shooting at us now that we can't use the jammers. Shields at... 99.99%. Launch torpedoes!"
GALLENTE: "Order an immediate study on the affects of a lack of capacitor charges on the lifestyle and health of crew."
MINMATAR: "Gimme some lemons and a few wires. I read about making a battery like this in eigth grade..."
----------------------------------------------
Say "Amarr ships suk, lol." I dare you.
My statments do not represent the opinions, views, or actions of my corp. |
Roy Awesome
Gallente
THE INTERNET.
Goodfellas.
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 01:15:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Roy Awesome on 16/02/2009 01:15:36
Upon meeting Roy Awesome
Amarr: "God has show light upon us this day, for he has allowed our paths to cross Roy Awesome"
Caldari: He may be Gallente, but, he has shown us true spirit.
Gallente: OH MY GOD IT'S ROY AWESOME
Minmatar: *Does tribal dances and chants Roy Awesome's name*
-Roy Awesome |
No Homo
Gallente
THE INTERNET.
Goodfellas.
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 01:22:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Shenko Minara
Originally by: Skyee Everson
2/10 i laughed a little
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
Hi! My names No Homo, you wanna hang out, maybe grab a beer?
|
Lomong
Minmatar
Void Spiders
Fate Weavers
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 01:46:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Lomong on 16/02/2009 02:00:32
Originally by: CCP Whisper
When presented with a 1 meter length of I-beam:
Gallente: "Some form of abstract sculpture expressing the stark nature of alcoholism?"
Minmatar: "Sweet. Ammunition."
Excuse me?!? Everyone knows I-beams is what you load into railguns!
Edit:
Gallente: "Aha, I found some spare ammo!"
Caldari: "That's my ammo, debased Gallente scum"
Minmatar: *Carries a load of I-beams away while the other two bicker* "With this haul, my Tempest can have the biggest sail in the system"
|
Abene Placito
Black Legion Command
Black Legion.
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:00:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Thargat
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Since when did the Minmatar race become the Orcs from Warhammer and Dawn of War?
|
Ottersmacker
24th Imperial Crusade
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:03:00 -
[31]
I wholeheartedly approve of these stereotype-/racism-based jokes.
|
Zaknussem
Caldari
Intrum Industria
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:07:00 -
[32]
Upon finding that there's a Janitor in the cargohold:
Amarr: "A stowaway! Get to work, you heathen slacker!"
Caldari: "Who are you? And where is your work permit, your equipment requisition form and your transfer orders?"
Gallente: "Hello...you wouldn't happen to be a cleverly disguised Exotic Dancer, would you?"
Minmatar: "Cool! Hey guys, we have a mechanic on the ship!"
"Oh no! We're out of hamsters!"
Amarr: "Out of what?"
Caldari: "Huh?"
Gallente: "And?"
Minmatar: "So?"
Sleepers: ZZZzzz...
Jove: "Uh-oh..."
CCP: "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" |
Khemul Zula
Amarr
Keisen Trade League
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:10:00 -
[33]
Edited by: Khemul Zula on 16/02/2009 02:11:35
Originally by: Ottersmacker
I wholeheartedly approve of these stereotype-/racism-based jokes.
Stereotypical, yes. Not entirely racist yet.
A Minmatar goes home and takes care of his family, what? It could happen!
Now the thread is racist.
*awaits the modhammer*
Sig is now EVE related. Happy mods? |
Luigi Thirty
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:21:00 -
[34]
Humor
CCP:
Originally by: CCP Whisper
When presented with a 1 meter length of I-beam:
Amarr: "That would be a slave hobbling post, no?"
Caldari: "That is a scale model of the latest Caldari Navy battleship design."
Gallente: "Some form of abstract sculpture expressing the stark nature of alcoholism?"
Minmatar: "Sweet. Ammunition."
Upon discovering a spot of rust on the ship's hull:
Amarr: "Gah! Send a slave out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Caldari: "Gah! Send an ensign out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Gallente: "Gah! Send a polishing drone out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Minmatar: "...what do you mean there's only one spot of rust?"
----
DOMINIX IS INVINCIBLEBLUE:(((( |
PrincessKnight
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:42:00 -
[35]
Sir! We've run out of Exotic Dancers. What do we do?
Amarr: "I have no need for such filthy *****s! I already have the Minmatar slaves!"
Caldari: "That's fine...I couldn't get it up anyways."
Gallente: "Who forgot to keep the ***** account paid yo?"
Minmatar: "We can't afford them anyways"
|
Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS
IDLE EMPIRE
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:46:00 -
[36]
Sir we are outnumbered what shall we do?
nano pilot: gtfo
noob: out numbered by who? woah lots of flashy red, now why am I in a station?
Garmon: Warrior for honour!!!!
caldari pilot: time to fire up the ecm!
Amarr: out numbered impossible, we are the amarr empire! melt face time
cov ops pilot: cloak and gone
minmatar: hey that bullet hole looks pretty cool, just make sure there isnt an air leak, put some duct tape over it!
gallente: launch the drones, now who has more!
techzer0: welp I haven't lost a ship yet today!
rowlandos: alright everyone warp in *rolandos warps off*
Chainsaw Plankton: hmm what? I was on the forums.
Sir Molle: welp here comes number 5
Chribba: Gotta mine it all! /bows
gm: lol cant touch this!
|
Zurrar
Gallente
Universal Exports
FOUNDATI0N
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 02:57:00 -
[37]
Sir we ran outa TAMPONS!
-----------------------------
Amarr- Tampons??
Gallente- Lets vote on if maxi pads should be allocated to the next item used in female personal care.
caldari- Its ok... the pods bio fluid is already fluidy
minmatar- Heres a stick
Sir we ran outa Drones!
-----------------------------
Amarr- Oh well, there goes the ecm-600's
Gallente- ABANDON SHIP, EVERYONE OUT OUR SHIP IS USELESS!
caldari- Bah steal more ecm-600's from the amarr
Minmatar- 
Sir we ran outa popcorn
----------------------------
Amarr- And the sermons only HALF OVER NOOOOOOOOOO, get me a slave!
Gallente- I vote we send a drone to the 7-11
caldari- he he amarr pop corn....mmmmm
Minmatar-
Sir we ran outa systems to own
----------------------------
Amarr- finally, we are done... whos got a wii
Gallente- i vote we give various tribes systems so we can retake them
caldari- yay missions!
minmatar- we won?
Sir this post is too long!
----------------------------
Amarr- Slaves! hack into evo and delete the post!
gallente- i vote we war dec OP's corp
caldari- *in a low zombie like voice* Missions....
minmatar- Oi lads, whos up for a spot o tea!
[yellow]Sig removed, only one graphic per sig please. If you would like further details please [url="http://support.eve-onl |
AnonyTerrorNinja
Minmatar
Buggers' Advanced Interstellar Transport
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 03:04:00 -
[38]
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
weapons mount lubricant
Amarr Engineer > Captain, we've run out of weapons lubricant!
Amarr Captain > Go fetch some more slaves from the cargo hold...
Caldari Engineer > Sir! We've run out of weapons lubricant, sir!
Caldari Captain > What does it matter? If we can't aim our rails, we'll turn the damned ship!
Gallente Engineer > Mon Capitan, our gunz, zey are not turning...
Gallente Captain > Do not worry, zat is just ze Void.
Gallente Engineer > Capitan, ve are not using ze Void...
Gallente Engineer > Can ve send more dronez?
Minmatar Engineer > We've run out of weapons grease, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Where's that stuff go again?
Minmatar Engineer > The buckets next to the artillery cannon mounts, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Get me the crew medic...
Minmatar Engineer > I don't think the medic is qualified to work with the guns, sir!
Minmatar Captain > It's not for the guns...
Cargo Space
Amarr > Eject some of those slaves!
Caldari > Fire the missiles and set them to orbit.
Gallente > Vat do you mean zere is not enough cargo space? Ve have ze biggest cargo possible! Commission anozer Iteron!
Minmatar > Right, so as you can see, if we systematically disassemble and reassemble the hull around this location, we can use the ore to plug up the holes and prevent the ship from depressurising. Lieutenant, go grab some duct tape from the stores and prepare for operation "pregnant mammoth"!
Facing a pirate raid
Amarr > Launch the slaves to confuse them!
Caldari > Where's Colonel Keichi? Get him to teach these ruffians some proper military protocol!
Gallente > Do you zink their optical systems vill be able to see ze vite flag?
Minmatar > YAY! MORE HOLES! :D
Skittles
Amarr > If we have faith, the Lord shall divideth a share unto each servant!
Caldari > Guess it's back to tube-steak till we get back to Jita, crew.
Gallente > Do ve still have cheeze and vine?
Minmatar > Crew, if I could survive on weapons grease, SO CAN YOU!
It might be worth noting I am terribly unimaginative and have a horrible (and oft far too complex for my friends' liking) sense of humour.
---
Incognito - Fierce - Deadly - IFD (Intergallactic Federation of Dummies) aka ATN
Ikari Dimji > I mustn't run away... I MUSTN'T RUN AWAY... I MUSTN'T RUN AWA- ooh, skittles! :D
|
Trebor Notlimah
Lone Star EVE Group
Veni Vidi Vici
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 03:57:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Thargat
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."
I see what u did there
|
Chainsaw Plankton
IDLE GUNS
IDLE EMPIRE
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 04:23:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Trebor Notlimah
Originally by: Thargat
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."
I see what u did there
*kaboom* 
|
Jason Marshall
Gallente
Hammer Of Light
Libertas Fidelitas
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:25:00 -
[41]
Originally by: AnonyTerrorNinja
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
Facing a pirate raid
Minmatar > YAY! MORE HOLES! :D
Best one yet.
Tacky Lensflares in sigs ftw
|
ShadowGod56
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:27:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Zaknussem
[u]"Oh no! We're out of hamsters!"
Amarr: "Out of what?"
Caldari: "Huh?"
Gallente: "And?"
Minmatar: "So?"
Sleepers: ZZZzzz...
Jove: "Uh-oh..."
CCP: "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
awesome
|
Erasmas
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:39:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Thargat
Shields are GONE
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the treacherous enemy have shredded our shields!"
Captain, to himself- "GOD is our shield, faith is our armor"
First Officer- "Beg you'r pardon sire, but shouldn't we engage our armor repair systems and have damage control crews put on alert just in case?"
Captain- "HERESY, HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE WILL OF GOD?"
First Officer- "......nhhhhhch"
Captain- "Gods will be done, NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS AND CLEANSE THE GALAXY OF THAT ABOMINATION"
New First Officer- "Captain, it seems the generators are running low with energy"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"......
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r going into armor"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 10% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them shield thingies are broken now"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Wuts what? We have those? Can we duct-tape it?"
Guy with ray-bans- "Dunno, don' tink so'"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Than we nick's sum'one els's"
Guy with ray-bans- "Uhh, cant be dun"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Thun why da **** u buggin' me?, I gots better stuff to do dan worrys abouts stuff we dont has and can't steal, too much o' dat already" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."
The minmatar one makes me cringe. It's like perpetuating a demeaning stereotype of unicorns.
I lol'd at the caldari one though.
|
techzer0
IDLE GUNS
IDLE EMPIRE
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:42:00 -
[44]
Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton
Sir we are outnumbered what shall we do?
minmatar: hey that bullet hole looks pretty cool, just make sure there isnt an air leak, put some duct tape over it!
techzer0: welp I haven't lost a ship yet today!
Very very true... I'm just awesome though!
------------
Originally by: Nexus Kinnon
I could outgay you even without my pink tutu. >.>
|
Nomakai Delateriel
Amarr
Ammatar Free Corps
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:46:00 -
[45]
Your ships are now superior to every competing design on the market. Thus you've run out of...:
Amarr: Reasons to sit and moan about Vak'atioth, Pax Amarrian and other hogwash. 25th Crusade, you're on.
Caldari: Valid reasons for why you lost that last fight because you never learned how tracking works.
Gallente: Nothing at the moment. After the New Caldari victory party? Uppers, Downers, Boosters, hallucinogens, tobacco, Exotic Dancers, Cattle, Quafe, Holoreels etc etc etc.
Minmatar: Ductape? what do you mean our last design used up all of our ductape?
______________________________________________
-My respect can not be won, only lost. It's given freely and only grudgingly withdrawn. |
Arkeladin
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 05:55:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Roy Awesome
Edited by: Roy Awesome on 16/02/2009 01:15:36
Upon meeting Roy Awesome
Amarr: lulz
Caldari: lulz
Gallente: OH MY GOD IT'S ROY AWESOME - LULZ!!!
Minmatar: lulz
Fixed that for ya.
Oh yes, and Arkeladin. upon meerting Roy Awesome: LULZ
|
fuxinos
Caldari
Guys 0f Sarcasm
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 06:36:00 -
[47]
Edited by: fuxinos on 16/02/2009 06:37:03
Originally by: Stitcher
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
nuff said. And i think CCP is Gallente
|
LaVista Vista
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 07:48:00 -
[48]
Originally by: fuxinos
Edited by: fuxinos on 16/02/2009 06:37:03
Originally by: Stitcher
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
nuff said. And i think CCP is Gallente
You THINK so?
|
Splender Jones
Amarr
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 08:01:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Zaknussem
Upon finding that there's a Janitor in the cargohold:
Minmatar: "Cool! Hey guys, we have a mechanic on the ship!"
I liked that one :)
|
Mr M
Legion of Illuminated Social Rejects
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 08:14:00 -
[50]
Edited by: Mr M on 16/02/2009 08:14:46
Originally by: Zurrar
Sir this post is too long!
----------------------------
minmatar- Oi lads, whos up for a spot o tea!
Originally by: Abene Placito
Since when did the Minmatar race become the Orcs from Warhammer and Dawn of War?
I'm perfectly fine with that, I've been waiting for six whole years to be able to paint my rifter red so it will go faster.
EVEgeek|Eden Underground Radio |
Primnproper
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 09:07:00 -
[51]
Originally by: Shenko Minara
hi im a gay lil' nub that passes comment on other people's posts but have terrible posts myself and never contribute shft and should probably just stop posting because nobody cares.
Yes, Yes you are... |
mythpilot
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 17:34:00 -
[52]
When applying for an Internship
Ammar: Pray you don't turn into my slave!
Gallente: that button is the drones...the beer is over there..Thats all you need to know..
Caldari: First, you need to calculate the shield radius, then fire Torpedoes, then activate the ECMs, Got it? Btw make sure you pulse the AB
Minmatar:
Crew: we could use him fer teh hole
Captin: Yea.... but there is only 1 them...
|
Demitria Fernir
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 17:41:00 -
[53]
Flashy on gate:
Amarr: Wrath upon our enemies!
Caldari: Aling to station!
Gallente: NO! Not my beer!
Minmatar: RAMMING SPEED!
Blobbed:
Amarr: We shall not perish Without fighting! *pop* *pod*
Caldari: NO! Not my beer!
Gallente: *pop* *pod*
Minmatar: Speed changed to 28514m/s
_______________________________________________
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101
I will Conquer My Signature
Somewhere in the future
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101 |
Megan Maynard
Minmatar
Out of Order
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 17:57:00 -
[54]
Fleet Commanding:
Amarr: Warp to 20, watch laser light show of death, thank god it's not you.
Caldari: Warp to 100, jam everything, laugh like an evil madman.
Gallente: Warp to 0, launch drones, drink wine.
Minmatar: Warp and hope you don't land in web/scram range........
Stop, hammer time. |
Haradgrim
Tyrell Corp
INTERDICTION
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 18:15:00 -
[55]
Edited by: Haradgrim on 16/02/2009 18:16:04
Outnumbered facing overwhelming odds:
Amarr: "For the Empress! Overload all turrets, we will make our stand and take as many of them down as we can. Amar Victor!"
Caldari: "Execute defensive maneuver alpha-3-omega, call in the falcon support and engage all defensive sub-systems. Men, we may still make it out of this alive."
Mimatar: "RRAAAAAMMMMIIIINNNNNGGGGG SSSSPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!"
Gallente: "We surrender!"
--
Originally by: CCP Oveur
Just donæt forget the reach-around.
|
Dantes Revenge
Caldari
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 18:20:00 -
[56]
Duct tape.
Amarr: Well use rope to tie the slaves together then.
Gallente: Oh well, there goes our gift of aid to the Minmatar.
Caldari: I told you it's no use trying to tape two heavies together to do the damage of a cruise against a BS.
Minmatar: What do you mean "no more reppers"?
--
There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
All this has happened before and will happen again |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 18:29:00 -
[57]
Guess i should contribute:
Shields:
Caldari: Sir, we're out of shields!
Gallente: Sir, we're out of shields!
Minmatar: Sir, we're out of shields!
Amarr: Sir, the battle has begun.
Learning skills:
Amarr: I'll have "How to kill slaves softly" book please.
Gallente: I'll have "How to manage your drones with love" book please.
Caldari: I'll have a "How to ram it where the sun don't shine." book please.
Minmatar: This is a WHAT store?!
Undocking:
Scotty: Amarr Cruiser leaving station.
Scotty: Gallente Cruiser leaving station.
Scotty: Caldari Cruiser leaving station.
Scotty: Trashdoors open.
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Hariya
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 18:58:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
Scotty: Trashdoors open.
|
Kazang
Gallente
Arbitrary Freedom
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 19:20:00 -
[59]
Originally by: Thargat
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them shield thingies are broken now"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Wuts what? We have those? Can we duct-tape it?"
Guy with ray-bans- "Dunno, don' tink so'"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Than we nick's sum'one els's"
Guy with ray-bans- "Uhh, cant be dun"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Thun why da **** u buggin' me?, I gots better stuff to do dan worrys abouts stuff we dont has and can't steal, too much o' dat already" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Since when did the matar turn into Orks?
Kazang
|
Empire Wolf
|
Posted - 2009.02.16 19:37:00 -
[60]
10% structure left
ammar= god will provide us anything at heaven
minmatar= omg those holes have perfect shape, lazers are better than bullets
gallente: oh damn is it necessary to die now i just bought a new box of beers
caldari: dead when shield dropped, going back to fight with new clone
armor 1% dmged
ammar: oh now they made me angry i thing i must open fire
caldari:cu in heaven
galente: no more shields
minmatar: no more shield, but doesnt matter we will start see those perfect holes
book
ammar: high tech 3 tortures
galente: connections for cheaper beer
minmatar: damn no money to buy a book
caldari: how to become rich in fifteen days
no ammunition
ammar eng: sir no more ammunition
ammar captain: dont be stupid crystals never end
ammar eng: high tech crystals do
ammar captain: **** i didnt know that and didnt took more crystals, change it to catapult and use slaves for ammo
minmatar: take a knife and cut ship parts they can be good ammo
galente: if u mean we run out of drones we have problem anything else dosnt matter
run out of smartbomb
caldari: doesnt matter hack eve and change torps to do aoe
minmatar: ship self destryct will be a good smartbomb
galente: are u insane if we had smartbombs we would be up because all drones would be dead
ammar: no need to worry arm slaves with explosives and throw them out
|
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 06:30:00 -
[61]
Stereotypes:
Amarr: Religious zealots.
Caldari: Moneygrabbing industrialists.
Gallente: Dronehuggers.
Minmatar: YEAH?! Umm, nothing.
How to deal with:
Amarr: Throw a bible off a ledge.
Caldari: Throw a bag of money off a ledge.
Minmatar: Throw working tech off a ledge.
Gallente: Throw off a ledge.
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Joe Starbreaker
Starbreaker Frigateers
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 06:58:00 -
[62]
Out of isk:
Amarr: Want not for material things. Roll up your sleeves and do God's work, and you will provide for yourself. We are the finest race in the Universe, and we didn't get that way by slacking off like Minmatars.
Caldari: The board has determined we have no recourse but to sell a controlling interest in the ship to a larger consortium, or file for bankruptcy. All employees who did not receive a pink slip will come to the main meeting hall at 0900 hours for a presentation introducing the new management.
Gallente: This isn't our fault. We were victimized by predatory traders charging more for their goods than they reasonably should have. Vote for candidate X, he'll give us free ISK welfare. It'll be paid for by the reasonable measure of raising taxes on those producers and traders, and their descendants, forever.
Minmatar: Welcome to Amamake. We have webbed and scrambled your pod. Pay the sum indicated below within 30 seconds or we destroy you. No negotiation, no counter-offers.
.... |
Learol
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 07:27:00 -
[63]
Out of ISK
Amarr: time to round up some more slaves for the empire
Caldari: whereÆs your lvl 5 agent again?
Gallente: TO JITA!
Minmatar: out of what?
|
Poreuomai
Minmatar
Mirkur Draug'Tyr
Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:31:00 -
[64]
Originally by: Stitcher
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
Gallente: "NO! Not my beer!"
Gallente: "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
HA HA!
Let My People Go |
Demitria Fernir
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:39:00 -
[65]
Ransom:
Amarr: we shall not pay to the heretics.
Caldari: we shall not let go our money.
Gallente: we shall not let go our beer.
Minmatar: we shall not pay, we wouldn't be albe to collect out insurance payout.
_______________________________________________
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101
I will Conquer My Signature
Somewhere in the future
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101 |
Thynar
Gallente
Melita Foundation
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 13:49:00 -
[66]
Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar
|
Miniturret
Amarr
Mining Under the influence of Sugar Pals
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 14:50:00 -
[67]
Going Through Schooling
Amarr: God is the highest power followed by the empresses. You follow commands to the T.
Caldari: Welcome to Economics 315 Please take your seats in an orderly fashion.
Gallente: Welcome to Drone Control 101. Warp in launch drones and begin to run away.
Minmatar: Ok duct tape is over there, guns are over here, controls are here. no questions ok good luck.
|
Ivena Amethyst
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 16:31:00 -
[68]
out of drones:
caldari: lol we had drones?
minmatar: just strap some handguns on the bits falling of the ship and we'll be fine!
amarr: whatever, they where distractions enyway...
gallante:
drone officer: captain! we are out of drones!
captain: merde! load ze void to compezate for 50% damage decrease!
engineer: but captain, le capazitor! and le tracking!
captain: never mind ze cap! just gank zem!
out of cap:
caldari: so? we are in a drake!
minmatar: weald som cables from the capacitor to the hull! we'll load it with the enemys laser fire!
amarr: we'll know if there is a god very soon..
gallente: le drones don't need ze cap!
--------
Is that an Itty V in your pocket or ar you just happy to see me? |
Pax Ratlin
Gallente
Woodland Larch
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:14:00 -
[69]
Originally by: Thynar
Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar
Drink more Beer, and the feeling will pass.
|
Miniturret
Amarr
Mining Under the influence of Sugar Pals
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:50:00 -
[70]
Edited by: Miniturret on 17/02/2009 17:52:43
why do I picture the minmatar as the crew from the uss stingray from the movie down periscope.
Down Periscope IMDBWALK THE PLANK
|
cpt Mark
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 17:55:00 -
[71]
Edited by: cpt Mark on 17/02/2009 17:56:05
Originally by: Thargat
Originally by: CCP Whisper
Amarr: "Gah! Send a slave out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Caldari: "Gah! Send an ensign out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Gallente: "Gah! Send a polishing drone out with a tin of brasso immediately!"
Minmatar: "...what do you mean there's only one spot of rust?"
Made me lulz
Shields are GONE
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the treacherous enemy have shredded our shields!"
Captain, to himself- "GOD is our shield, faith is our armor"
First Officer- "Beg you'r pardon sire, but shouldn't we engage our armor repair systems and have damage control crews put on alert just in case?"
Captain- "HERESY, HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE WILL OF GOD?"
First Officer- "......nhhhhhch"
Captain- "Gods will be done, NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS AND CLEANSE THE GALAXY OF THAT ABOMINATION"
New First Officer- "Captain, it seems the generators are running low with energy"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"......
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r going into armor"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 10% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them shield thingies are broken now"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Wuts what? We have those? Can we duct-tape it?"
Guy with ray-bans- "Dunno, don' tink so'"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Than we nick's sum'one els's"
Guy with ray-bans- "Uhh, cant be dun"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Thun why da **** u buggin' me?, I gots better stuff to do dan worrys abouts stuff we dont has and can't steal, too much o' dat already" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, our shields are....."
I LOLD SO HARD
Btw, guy above, if ur out of cap in a drake, ur still a dead man flying.
|
Megan Maynard
Minmatar
Out of Order
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:08:00 -
[72]
Originally by: Thynar
Don't know about you others but suddenly got this urge to roll a Minmatar
Don't resist, just DO IT.
Stop, hammer time. |
Demitria Fernir
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:09:00 -
[73]
Edited by: Demitria Fernir on 17/02/2009 18:10:20
Tanking:
Amarr
"ARMOR TANK! OUR LORD SHALL PROVIDE!"
Minmatar
Speed changed to 26817 m/s
Gallente
"Let's hope our enemy runs out of shield before we run out of ammo"
Caldari
"Let's hope our enemy runs our of ammo before we run out of shield"
_______________________________________________
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101
I will Conquer My Signature
Somewhere in the future
10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101 |
Thieving Monkey
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:16:00 -
[74]
I lol'd.
Is the copper tubing a BSG/Chief Tyrol reference?
If so, 10/10. If not, then 8/10.
|
Megan Maynard
Minmatar
Out of Order
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:20:00 -
[75]
Originally by: Demitria Fernir
Edited by: Demitria Fernir on 17/02/2009 18:10:20
Tanking:
Amarr
"ARMOR TANK! OUR LORD SHALL PROVIDE!"
Minmatar
Speed changed to 26817 m/s
Gallente
"Let's hope our enemy runs out of shield before we run out of ammo"
Caldari
"Let's hope our enemy runs our of ammo before we run out of shield"
Did you just sum up the cold war in two sentences?
Stop, hammer time. |
Aethrwolf
Caldari
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:30:00 -
[76]
Originally by: Thieving Monkey
I lol'd.
Is the copper tubing a BSG/Chief Tyrol reference?
If so, 10/10. If not, then 8/10.
heh. you think BSG had the first Char. that improvised things? I would actually give a higher rating for a reference that goes farther back.. MacGuyver? Scotty?
3rd hour into a mission..
Mission runner.. Oops forgot to fire after locking them.
cloaked salvage thief.. Why doesnt he SHOOT something????
|
Drykor
Minmatar
Tribal Liberation Force
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:37:00 -
[77]
Originally by: AnonyTerrorNinja
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
weapons mount lubricant
Minmatar Engineer > We've run out of weapons grease, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Where's that stuff go again?
Minmatar Engineer > The buckets next to the artillery cannon mounts, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Get me the crew medic...
Minmatar Engineer > I don't think the medic is qualified to work with the guns, sir!
Minmatar Captain > It's not for the guns...
I don't get it..
|
Jerera
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 18:44:00 -
[78]
Originally by: cpt Mark
I LOLD SO HARD
Yeah me too. Nice topic 
|
Kari Savage
|
Posted - 2009.02.17 20:07:00 -
[79]
err...
Finding isogen-5
Amarr- oooh more fuel for ze abaddonz !
Caldari- ????, Profit !
Gallante- can we make this into beer?
Minmatar- oooh shiny....
|
Chestnut Stallion
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 06:31:00 -
[80]
Just gotta bump this thread, I love it, About page 3 you start seeing repeats but at about 30 past midnight me and my wife where laughing our ass of at this page.. thanks much for all the great laughs :)
|
Lance Fighter
Amarr
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 06:45:00 -
[81]
Exotic Dancers:
Amarr: I didnt need them anyway
Caldari: Damnit, could have sold them at the next dock for a good profit too!
Gallente: nooo the exotic dancers... you *points at female lieutenant* your promoted to exotic dancer!
Minmatar: Damnit just when we needed another deckhand to apply moar duct tape!
Originally by: Akita T
Seriously ?
...wow... I'm such a forum ho' !
|
Naim Stargazer
Viziam
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 07:37:00 -
[82]
Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 07:38:40
On operating budget:
Amarr Navy: I've decided on the Statesman with the gold trimmings - we can hold one of the frigate designs to bring this under budget...
Caldari Navy: Holding Corporations held their annual Directors meeting on Thursday to discuss future ship designs for the Caldari Navy. Leaked internal memo's indicate a strong leaning toward a 'pilot pays' ammunition based offensive platform for upcoming designs.
Minmatar Navy: The Minmatar Navy are proud to announce the acquisition of 10 local scrapheaps, including franchise 'Joes Junk', which previously held the largest private contract with the Navy to date.
Gallente Navy: 78% of pilots in our recent poll indicated a preference toward the automated drones, with a mere 28% favoring the more 'hands-on' style of combat. It has been pointed out the newer model bays DO, in fact, have room for a pony.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|
wickedpheonix
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 07:59:00 -
[83]
Edited by: wickedpheonix on 20/02/2009 08:00:14
Veldspar:
Amarr - throw the slaves in the reactor, they've got a little Veldspar!
Caldari - No worries, we'll just buy more
Gallente - Recent polls indicate that the populace thinks that Veldspar is not scarce, thus it isn't.
Minmatar - we're not really out, just take the Veldspar we were using to plug the holes in our ships
Chribba - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
|
Naim Stargazer
Viziam
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:09:00 -
[84]
Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 08:10:42
Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 08:09:39
and another for fun (and yes i know the pilot is in a capsule and all - pretend he isnt for humor reasons):
Somewhere in wormhole space:
Caldari Lieutenant: Initial scans are coming in sir. Deep Space estimates at least a billion, if not more. Extrapolations based on known phenomena indicate several hundred million. In fact, every system is reporting ISK potential far in excess of our predictions...
Amarrian Lieutenant: We'll need to drop a signal emitter every 10 AU or so, or we'll be lost sir. They arent designed to survive deep space without shielding. May I suggest putting them in some expendable shielding, slaves perhaps?
Matari Captain: So, if I understand correctly here, you aren't sure whether that trail of debris is from us having gone around in circles, or whether it was there before?
Gallente Captain: hullo *hic* watsh thish playsh? Ferdinand mah friend! THAT wash shome trippy amonomomoly we entchered. *hic* *sobs* no partiesh on the bridsh they shaid.. we'll revoke your pilotsh lishenshe they shaid...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|
Joe Starbreaker
The Fighting Republicans
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:44:00 -
[85]
A light bulb burns out:
Gallente: No way am I fixing that! That's not in my contract. Fix it yourself, captain, or I'm calling the union.
Caldari: Summon my accountant. Does our budget have room for this? What's the price of light bulbs? What would be the tax implications of deferring this to the next quarter?
Minmatar: Geez, it's getting dark in here. Somebody open a hatch on the sunny side, would ya?
Amarr: Captain, we've just lost turret four!
...........
The Fighting Republicans are recruiting! |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 08:48:00 -
[86]
changing the formentioned lightbulb:
Gallente: Get me a T2 XZ-Micro Drone.
Caldari: Pay someone to fix that.
Amarr: Get me a slave.
Minmatar: Bloody Amarr...
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
AnonyTerrorNinja
Minmatar
Buggers' Advanced Interstellar Transport
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 14:00:00 -
[87]
Originally by: Drykor
Originally by: AnonyTerrorNinja
Edited by: AnonyTerrorNinja on 16/02/2009 03:06:53
weapons mount lubricant
Minmatar Engineer > We've run out of weapons grease, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Where's that stuff go again?
Minmatar Engineer > The buckets next to the artillery cannon mounts, sir!
Minmatar Captain > Get me the crew medic...
Minmatar Engineer > I don't think the medic is qualified to work with the guns, sir!
Minmatar Captain > It's not for the guns...
I don't get it..
Think excessively thick (yes, thick) and strong coffee. Imagine the taste. Imagine a Brutor drinking coffee.
I, for one, doubt they'd notice the difference. ;3
---
Incognito - Fierce - Deadly - IFD (Intergallactic Federation of Dummies) aka ATN
Ikari Dimji > I mustn't run away... I MUSTN'T RUN AWAY... I MUSTN'T RUN AWA- ooh, skittles! :D
|
Terianna Eri
Amarr
Scrutari
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 17:21:00 -
[88]
Originally by: Joe Starbreaker
A light bulb burns out:
Amarr: Captain, we've just lost turret four!
Cool thread guys \o/
__________________________________
Originally by: CCP Whisper
Boo hoo. Cry some more.
|
Drunk Driver
Gallente
Aliastra
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 17:26:00 -
[89]
Originally by: Thargat
Capcaitor
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the generators aren't providing enough power!"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"
First Officer- ".......hnnnnch"
Captain- "I want that power, not excuses"
New First Officer- "Yes captain, we shall triple our efforts"
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, we forsee see a decline in supply vs demand of energy"
Captain- "Nonsense, get a cheaper contractor on the horn and order some more"
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r outta cap"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 1% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
Made me laugh.
Nice work!
---------------------------------------
I support log offs.
There's just something about denying free electrons to my computer that appeals to my need for control.
|
destinationunreachable
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 18:19:00 -
[90]
why did the chicken cross the street:
Amarr: it was destined by the lord! Oh, not a Amarr chicken ? Someone must have ordered that slave chicken to do so!
Caldari: According to Caldari imperial regulations the other side of the street was a more effective way to proceed
Gallente: Would you mind letting me finish first my fine bottle of wine ???
Minmatar: the street was broken ? Of course you can fix a street with duct tape! The other day I was walking with a mate of mine...
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Dark Soldat
Caldari
Dirty Deeds Corp.
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.02.20 18:25:00 -
[91]
Methods of torture
Amarr: slavery
Caldari: No access to market
Gallante: no beer
Minmatar: No duct tape :P
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relia08
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Posted - 2009.02.20 18:37:00 -
[92]
Originally by: Zurrar
minmatar- Oi lads, whos up for a spot o tea!
hmmmm. that comic from tha navy hirogen guy?
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Regat Kozovv
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2009.02.20 18:50:00 -
[93]
Originally by: Abene Placito
Since when did the Minmatar race become the Orcs from Warhammer and Dawn of War?
I don't know but I like it. =)
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Karrade Krise
Galatic P0RN Starz
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Posted - 2009.02.20 19:09:00 -
[94]
*When Dealing with Falcons*
Amarr - "The Lord has forsaken us!"
Caldari - "yaaaaawn"
Gallente - "Cross your fingers and hope the drones get him"
Minmatarr - "Quick! Find me a related episode of Mcguyver!"
*How to deal with Zombie Appocalypse*
Amarr - "Enslave them, our Faith commands it!"
Caldari - "Target Practice"
Gallente - "Hide in the far reaches of space or find a cure? Let's vote."
Minmatarr - "Depends on how easily we can attach them to the ship."
*RL Car*
Amarr - PopeMobile
Caldari - Original HWMMV
Gallente - Peoples' Choice
Minmatarr - Homemade kit cars using parts from a junkyard
Originally by: CCP Whisper
Boo hoo. Cry some more.
Whisper is now officially my hero. |
Jenny Superfood
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Posted - 2009.02.20 19:09:00 -
[95]
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!
'ere we go, 'ere we go, cross the Kosmos,
'ere we go, 'ere we go, throo infinity.
Don't know where we're goin' til we get there.
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!
 |
Karrade Krise
Galatic P0RN Starz
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 19:18:00 -
[96]
Originally by: Jenny Superfood
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!
'ere we go, 'ere we go, cross the Kosmos,
'ere we go, 'ere we go, throo infinity.
Don't know where we're goin' til we get there.
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!
Are you related to Jenny Spitfire?
Originally by: CCP Whisper
Boo hoo. Cry some more.
Whisper is now officially my hero. |
Joe Starbreaker
The Fighting Republicans
|
Posted - 2009.02.20 19:53:00 -
[97]
Ninja salvager enters their mission:
Amarr: Good thing we have a slave (alt) salvaging after us. Work faster, slave!
Caldari: (Coming back from AFK) Good, mission's done. What's with all the cargo containers?
Gallente: WAAAAAAAAH somebody make them stop!
Minmatar: Haha, carebear tears fuel my ship! (spots another ninja warping in) Oh damn, we've got competition...
...........
The Fighting Republicans are recruiting! |
Jenny Superfood
|
Posted - 2009.02.22 18:29:00 -
[98]
Originally by: Karrade Krise
Are you related to Jenny Spitfire?
No. Unlike that dyslexic ditz, I know how to spell.
It's a Space Ork joke. |
Tentacle Monster
24th Imperial Crusade
|
Posted - 2009.02.22 18:45:00 -
[99]
Originally by: Thargat
Capcaitor
Amarr
First Officer- "Captain, the generators aren't providing enough power!"
Captain- "The empress won't be as forgiving as I am"
First Officer- ".......hnnnnch"
Captain- "I want that power, not excuses"
New First Officer- "Yes captain, we shall triple our efforts"
Caldari
First Officer- "Captain, we forsee see a decline in supply vs demand of energy"
Captain- "Nonsense, get a cheaper contractor on the horn and order some more"
Gallente
First Officer- "Captain Elect, we'r outta cap"
Captain- "Is that really the general consensus of the crew?"
First Officer- "Sir, there's 49% for and 48% against while 1% remains undecided"
Captain- "Very well, we shall vote on this again on monday, you may address the crew"
Minmatar
Guy with ray-bans- "Hey you! Them bulbs r actin all funny un' we's loosin' speed"
Guy with Bigger ray-bans- "Then lite sum torches n' git out n' push stopid" *returns to pulling levers to big ass gun*
roflmao
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Par'Gellen
Gallente
Tres Hombres Psychiatric Hospital
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Posted - 2009.02.22 23:25:00 -
[100]
Originally by: Naim Stargazer
Matari Captain: So, if I understand correctly here, you aren't sure whether that trail of debris is from us having gone around in circles, or whether it was there before?
R O F L M A O!!! Pure win!
---
To err is human. But it shouldn't be the company motto...
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Dyaven
The Tuskers
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Posted - 2009.02.22 23:30:00 -
[101]
I only really found the last 2 Minmatar ones to be funny in the OP.
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Irida Mershkov
Gallente
Noir.
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Posted - 2009.02.22 23:54:00 -
[102]
Originally by: Joe Starbreaker
Ninja salvager enters their mission:
Amarr: Good thing we have a slave (alt) salvaging after us. Work faster, slave!
Caldari: (Coming back from AFK) Good, mission's done. What's with all the cargo containers?
Gallente: WAAAAAAAAH somebody make them stop!
Minmatar: Haha, carebear tears fuel my ship! (spots another ninja warping in) Oh damn, we've got competition...
Other way around. :) Gallente go afk with Dominix, Caldari raise the tears.
Lol @ Minmatar 40k orks though.
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Par'Gellen
Gallente
Tres Hombres Psychiatric Hospital
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Posted - 2009.02.22 23:56:00 -
[103]
Massive Sansha gank squad warps in, locks them down and demands ransom.
Amarr Captain: "In the name of the Emperor, melt their cyborg faces off!"
Caldari Captain: *looks at first officer* "Please tell me we packed an EM hardener before we left the station..."
Gallente Captain: "I'm gonna take a nap. Let me know if something dangerous shows up."
Minmatar Captain: *looks at his first officer and nods toward the hideous cyborg visage on the viewscreen* "Damn, they uglier than your mama!" *brawl breaks out on the bridge*
---
To err is human. But it shouldn't be the company motto...
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Joe Starbreaker
The Fighting Republicans
|
Posted - 2009.02.23 04:49:00 -
[104]
Edited by: Joe Starbreaker on 23/02/2009 04:49:35
...out of women:
Amarr: Time to conquer another planet.
Caldari: Download Achura p.o.r.n. from the Internet.
Minmatar: Somebody's got to be the woman. We draw straws, shortest straw loses.
Gallente: Somebody's got to be the woman. We draw straws, shortest straw wins.
...........
The Fighting Republicans are recruiting! |
Bela Okmyx
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Posted - 2009.02.23 15:30:00 -
[105]
more please !
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Holy Lowlander
Comply Or Die
Retribution.
|
Posted - 2009.02.23 16:20:00 -
[106]
Originally by: Naim Stargazer
Edited by: Naim Stargazer on 20/02/2009 07:38:40
On operating budget:
Gallente Navy: 78% of pilots in our recent poll indicated a preference toward the automated drones, with a mere 28% favoring the more 'hands-on' style of combat. It has been pointed out the newer model bays DO, in fact, have room for a pony.
I loled
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Thenoran
Caldari
Hegemony Enterprises
HEGEM0NY
|
Posted - 2009.02.23 16:23:00 -
[107]
During a long fight
Amarr: Never seen slaves live this long.
Caldari: Damn it, this ammo is expensive!
Gallente: Sir, the 39% of the crew agrees this is the longest fight we've been in, the rest are dead.
Minmatar: Why hasn't the ship blown up yet?
------------------------
Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
|
Joe Starbreaker
The Fighting Republicans
|
Posted - 2009.02.23 20:07:00 -
[108]
Out of clean underwear:
Caldari: Buy new underwear. Washing clothes is a commie idea that steals revenues from the textile industry.
Gallente: Issue a message of solidarity with the Launderers Union, support their ongoing strike, and blame the crisis on Oursulaert fat cats.
Amarr: We solved this problem thousands of years ago. Long robes and "going commando" is much more comfortable.
Minmatar: Loincloths don't need so much cleaning.
...........
The Fighting Republicans are recruiting! |
Bigeasy
Caldari
It's A Trap
|
Posted - 2009.02.24 03:20:00 -
[109]
Edited by: Bigeasy on 24/02/2009 03:21:46
Bar Jokes
Ammar: "So a Brutor walks into a bar with half a roll of ductape laced with gold. When asked what such extravagant tape was used for, he replies "The finest toilet paper in all of EvE."
Caldari: "So two Gallente walk into a bar and immediately surrender..."
Gallente: Two Caldari walk into a bar arguing over which is better, Missiles or Railguns. The missile user says "Missiles are far superior, they require no cap and will always hit the target if they are in range." The Railgun user replies "Yeah...well #^$@ you!"
Minmatar: An Ammarian priest, a Jove, and a hanging long limb walk into a bar. The priest, being a gentleman of God, draws the Jove's chair for her as she sits down. He then asks the long limb what the capital of Thailand is. Incomming cupcheck
Let them hate, so long as they fear-Caligula |
CaptainMiller
Minmatar
Republic Military School
|
Posted - 2009.02.24 06:21:00 -
[110]
Originally by: Stitcher
Fuel
Amarr: "You there, Slave! Into the reactor!
That one made me lol pretty hard
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Lazer panda
|
Posted - 2009.02.25 12:15:00 -
[111]
bump, we want more, mooooooree
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Nierna
|
Posted - 2009.02.25 13:32:00 -
[112]
*needs more posts* ill try think something up myself when im home ;).
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Letri Bimmet
Gallente
Estrale Frontiers
BlackWater.
|
Posted - 2009.02.25 15:37:00 -
[113]
Fleet jumps into W-space
Amarr - HEY....they stole our lasor designs!
Caldari - ECM ECM dammit ECM them...Call HQ and fill out form 21/45b and c. We need more falcons!
Gallente - NOOOOOO!!!! my drones and beer!
Minmatar - Oh them peeps make sum nice holes.
Rogue Drones - BROTHERS! bzzzz
Sleepers - Ugh...wrong hole
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Wacktopia
Infinity Miners Union
Eych Four Eks Zero Ahr
|
Posted - 2009.02.25 16:44:00 -
[114]
Originally by: Khemul Zula
I want the last 30 seconds of my life back.
Will accept payment in ISK or random loot.
Off with you. Back to youtube. Go.
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