Ends at 18.30 Eve. Make me laugh.

Edit. Any tedious Eve connection gets you extra credit. Go Go GO!

Xenuria, Erotica1 and Dinsdale walk into a bar.....

And that's it. What did I win?

As the first Gallente is brought to the wall he looks past the firing squad and cries out, "SANDSTORM!!!!" In the ensuring confusion he makes his escape.

The second Gallente enjoys the success of his friend and decides to try the same thing. And as he is brought to the wall he looks over the firing squad and shouts "TIDAL WAVE!!!" In the ensuring confusion he too makes his escape.

The Matari is amazed by the escapes and wants to try the same thing, except as he is brought to the wall he looks past the squad and shouts "FIRE!!!"

The retriever thought his drones would save him, but my catalyst only took miner damage.

Miners love to mine, they think it rocks

CCP

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

A: Because she had no arms.

Post a joke in this thread and get 100mil isk.

This.

A Gallente, Caldari and Matar are working on an industry team together constructng capital parts.

Each day they sit together high up at the top of the structure for lunch.

One day the Gallente looks at his food and say "Ughh. Roes sandwich. Always the same. If I ever get this again I'm going to jump off here to my death".

The Caldari sitting next to him looks at his lunch and exclaims "Ughh, same here. Roes sandwich too. I'll join you if it happens to me too."

The Matari looks and his lunch and confirms the same thing.

Next day they meet again for lunch and sure enough, same sandwiches. The Gallente jumps to his death. The Caldari does the same, followed by the Matar.

The funerals are held a few days later and their partners each stand to give a Eulogy.

The partner of the Gallente in her speech says "If only I'd known he didn't like Roes sandwiches. I would have packed something different."

The Caldari's partner in her speech exclaims "If only I'd known he didn't like Roes sandwiches, I would have packed him something different."

Finally the partner of the Matar delivers her speech. Devastated she says "He packed his own lunch"

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

and the punchline is..........???

So three rabbis and a leprechaun are trekking across the desert. So they trek all day, then they camp out for the first night, and they're camped out, and a tarantula makes a move on the leprechaun. So the first rabbi picks up a canteen of water and throws it at the tarantula, and knocks the tarantula out, so they're all safe and everything's cool. Then they get up the second day and they trek all day, then they camp out for the second night, and they're camped out, and a rattlesnake starts going after the leprechaun. So the second rabbi picks up a box of matzoh and throws it at the rattlesnake and knocks it out, so they're safe and everything's okay. Then they get up on the third day and trek all day, then they camp out for the third night, and on the third night, a scorpion starts attacking the leprechaun. So the third rabbi walks into a bar and orders a double scotch and a milkshake. He drinks the double scotch and pours the milkshake in his pants. Then he gets a second set of drinks, and this time he drinks the milkshake and pours the double scotch in his pants. Then he gets a third set of drinks, and this time when the bartender turns his back, the elephant just takes off, running down the highway, knocking over telephone poles and smashing cars and small trucks, and by the time he gets to the tollbooth the first duck asks, "Hey, would you pass the soap?" But before the second duck can even answer, the cop BURSTS into the bathroom carrying the monkey. But the monkey gets loose, right? And he runs into the kitchen and starts smashing all the dishes and bending all the forks and spoons. And by the time the dentist catches the monkey again, the leprechaun shoves the scorpion up the third rabbi's ass.

a mane wawks in too a boochers

"kan aye hav haff a pownd of kiddleys"

the boocher he say "downt yoo meen kidneys"

the mane say "thar what aye sey diddle eye"

I am taking this joke to the bar with me tonight. It is going to obtain sex for me. This is, by far, the best joke ever.

The Aristocrats!!!

She looks around for a bit and then calls out "there are 158 sheep". The farmer is staggered, and true to his word he lets her pick out any sheep she wants. Happily she picks out one of the animals and goes to put it in the back of her car when the farmer asks her;
Lass, you wouldn't happen to be a natural blond would you? Shocked, she asks him how he knew!
"That's my sheepdog" He replied.