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Posted - 2007.01.02 17:27:00
On Thursday, 4 January, Tranquility will undergo an extended 24 hour downtime for external network infrastructure changes and database server software updates. We do not expect the changes and upgrade to exceed 12 hours and hope to allow connections to Tranquility sooner; however we cannot guarantee network stability or connectivity until after the end of the scheduled downtime.

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Originally by: Roy Batty68

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Ok, to set the stage:
I'm a programmer from the US working in europe. However, since outsourcing and COTS has become the only way to go for many managers, 95% of the time I end up playing tech support. I've just spent most of my workday answering numerous emails and phone calls about a certain software system that decided it was going to try something different in 07. A certain software system that I didn't design, program, or test but somehow I got tagged to "support" it.

It's been one of those days where the phone won't stop ringing, my email Inbox looks like it's sweating to the oldies, impatient people keep invading my office, and every 13th call is the same guy from 12 calls ago wanting to know why his situation hasn't improved in the last 20 minutes.

Yeah. Plenty of IT people have had these sort of days. Sure. But try it working in an international setting with people from 26 different countries as your user base. Kicks it up a notch, eh?

Phone call 1: Lively Italian Swearing!
Phone call 2: Please, my view stare blankly! (my german is rusty)
Phone call 3: I've either been hexed by a Romanian or he wants to buy me a document... I'm not sure.
Phone call 4: Turkish sergeant. Pretty good english. Very committed to describing exactly how this system failure makes him feel.
Phone call 5: No, the French didn't win the world cup, the Italians did and no, I would not like a cigar. What does all this have to do with your system not working?
Phone call 6: Yes sir, I'm aware there are people fighting in Afghanistan and quite frankly I wish I was with them!
Phone call ...n^42

Beat that, Mr Been-There-Done-That techy guy! Your IT-foo is weak.

Anyway, needless to say when I finally got home today I was in the mood to kick my cat. Thankfully I don't own a cat (and never will since 1] cats have no concept of ownership and 2] me and all cats seem to have an inherent Seinfeld Jerry versus Newman relationship) so no animals were harmed in the making of this day. But I was very tempted to ask my dutch neighbor if I could borrow his cat for a few minutes. He already looks at me weird so I decided not to risk escalating any Milagro Beanfield War this guy might have brewing in the back of his head.

So, long story short:
Bad day. Get home feeling a bit punch drunk. Plop down in front of my computer and fire up EVE. EVE no worky.
Double-Ewe Tee Eff?

Oh yeah! Today was patch day. EVE was down for 24 hours. Uber.

I glance at the Message of the Day window on the EVE logon client and notice that it appears blank but has this tiny little scroll bar like it's ready to scroll quite a distance. Being the compulsive scroll bar scroller that I am and irrationally hopeful that I might find some hidden message about the server coming back early, I do some scrolling. Clear at the bottom of this otherwise blank message box, in big white letters it says,

"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED"

I literally had one of those dramatic movie pauses where the sound track goes silent with an expectant hush as I sat staring at this this simple message and my brain struggled to digest it's meaning. Approximately .053 seconds later the sound track came back on and I laughed hysterically for the next 6 minutes. It probably would have been longer but my wife came in, smacked me in the back of the head, and said my "crazy man" laugh was scaring the kids. Through uncontrollable giggles and teary eyes I tried to explain to her that I had just found THE MOST perfect software error message in the history of everything. All I got for my trouble was one of her patented wifely eye-rolls that all girls are taught by age 11.

(cont.)

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Originally by: Apocryphai

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I lolled IRL.

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Originally by: Akita T

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Edited by: Akita T on 05/01/2007 16:07:24

And I thought "Error: you can not eject your computer" would be in the top 10

Definetely in the top 100 the very least also:
* Not enough memory to display this dialog
* Printer on fire
* Error: Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue
* Your mouse is not working, please click here to acknowledge
* The procedure failed with the following error: The command completed successfully
* Error 0000: No errors found, restarting computer
* Cannot delete tmp150_3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again

... is Microsoft french ?

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Originally by: Claudia Bluebell

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Before I forget, the best error message comes actually from Linux: "lp1 on fire".

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