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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 8 post(s) |
Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:21:00 -
[1]
Ok, to set the stage:
I'm a programmer from the US working in europe. However, since outsourcing and COTS has become the only way to go for many managers, 95% of the time I end up playing tech support. I've just spent most of my workday answering numerous emails and phone calls about a certain software system that decided it was going to try something different in 07. A certain software system that I didn't design, program, or test but somehow I got tagged to "support" it.
It's been one of those days where the phone won't stop ringing, my email Inbox looks like it's sweating to the oldies, impatient people keep invading my office, and every 13th call is the same guy from 12 calls ago wanting to know why his situation hasn't improved in the last 20 minutes.
Yeah. Plenty of IT people have had these sort of days. Sure. But try it working in an international setting with people from 26 different countries as your user base. Kicks it up a notch, eh?
Phone call 1: Lively Italian Swearing!
Phone call 2: Please, my view stare blankly! (my german is rusty)
Phone call 3: I've either been hexed by a Romanian or he wants to buy me a document... I'm not sure.
Phone call 4: Turkish sergeant. Pretty good english. Very committed to describing exactly how this system failure makes him feel.
Phone call 5: No, the French didn't win the world cup, the Italians did and no, I would not like a cigar. What does all this have to do with your system not working?
Phone call 6: Yes sir, I'm aware there are people fighting in Afghanistan and quite frankly I wish I was with them!
Phone call ...n^42
Beat that, Mr Been-There-Done-That techy guy! Your IT-foo is weak. 
Anyway, needless to say when I finally got home today I was in the mood to kick my cat. Thankfully I don't own a cat (and never will since 1] cats have no concept of ownership and 2] me and all cats seem to have an inherent Seinfeld Jerry versus Newman relationship) so no animals were harmed in the making of this day. But I was very tempted to ask my dutch neighbor if I could borrow his cat for a few minutes. He already looks at me weird so I decided not to risk escalating any Milagro Beanfield War this guy might have brewing in the back of his head.
So, long story short:
Bad day. Get home feeling a bit punch drunk. Plop down in front of my computer and fire up EVE. EVE no worky.
Double-Ewe Tee Eff?
Oh yeah! Today was patch day. EVE was down for 24 hours. Uber. 
I glance at the Message of the Day window on the EVE logon client and notice that it appears blank but has this tiny little scroll bar like it's ready to scroll quite a distance. Being the compulsive scroll bar scroller that I am and irrationally hopeful that I might find some hidden message about the server coming back early, I do some scrolling. Clear at the bottom of this otherwise blank message box, in big white letters it says,
"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED"
I literally had one of those dramatic movie pauses where the sound track goes silent with an expectant hush as I sat staring at this this simple message and my brain struggled to digest it's meaning. Approximately .053 seconds later the sound track came back on and I laughed hysterically for the next 6 minutes. It probably would have been longer but my wife came in, smacked me in the back of the head, and said my "crazy man" laugh was scaring the kids. Through uncontrollable giggles and teary eyes I tried to explain to her that I had just found THE MOST perfect software error message in the history of everything. All I got for my trouble was one of her patented wifely eye-rolls that all girls are taught by age 11.
(cont.)
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Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:22:00 -
[2]
Now truth be told, what the message really said was, "We're sorry, something happened to our plonk bubble stabilizer" or something like that which is CCP's way of saying, "yep, web servers are down again" only in spacey EVE talk or something. And since the Message of the Day is hosted on their web servers, all I was really seeing was that web server down message jammed into a two inch by two inch message box with the format all jacked up.
But it kept resonating around my cranial cavity like a buddist chant in an echoey temple high up in yeti-ville. I simply HAD to be on to something here.
"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED"
Error messages, all software has them. We've all seen them. That is if we're "lucky" and it doesn't just crash to desktop or make the machine reboot. And nearly all software error messages are completely useless. I don't want to know that the Kernal has gone off and invaded some part of memory in an unauthorized fashion. What the heck does that do for me?
It's not like you get error messages that say, "Sorry, but you can't play Call of Duty IX until you update your video drivers and then refresh your Direct-X build". Or maybe, "Yep, that crappy audio card you've got installed is causing yet another BSD. See ya". Nope. That would be too useful. Instead you get crap things like General Protection Fault followed by some hexadecimal or something. Great! Even better are the messages that offer false hope like, "An unknown error has occured, would you like to close the application?" followed only by an OK button.
Well, maybe I took one too many emails to the head today or something but I really think this simple phrase could be the Rosetta Stone of software engineering. Let's break it down.
What's happened? Software has gone off to land of no return and we need to say something to the user. Probably shouldn't say "I" or "I'm", people get ****ed easily at a target of one. So "we" is good because people reconsider their anger level if it might be directed at a crowd. So starting off with "We're" is a good start.
"Sorry". We're all taught you do wrong, you say you're sorry. Evens the tally sheet some. My software has wronged me!!! And it's immediately "sorry". Well, ok then. I suppose I'm not so upset at my software if it appologizes.
And not only is it sorry, there's apparently a crowd somewhere that's sorry as well. "We're Sorry". Damn fine start.
So now what? Well people are going to want to know why this maybe forgiveable sitatuation has occured. But us programmers aren't sure why it happened either. Probably don't want to admit that... And even if we do know, it's often so cryptic that what's the use of being honest? So let's just say "something" has happened. Not going to say whether it was good or bad. Just... something.
"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED"
............[OK]...............
It's perfect!
So there you go. The ultimate error message released to the public domain. Yours for free.
You're welcome.
This has been brought to you by My Crap Day, EVE Servers being down, the letter C (cat), and the letter E (eyeroll)
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Sophism
Amarr
Dark Centuri Inc.
Firmus Ixion
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:26:00 -
[3]
lol :)
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Dao 2
Generals Of Destruction Syndicate
The Forsaken Empire
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:28:00 -
[4]
:o
------------------------------------------------
NEWLY ADDED ON 1/19 (though applies to all posts before ;p)
the usual "I don't represent my corp or alliance" and stuffs like that
Also the gal |
Ehan Cho
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:30:00 -
[5]
The best post ever.
Bravo!
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ShadowKi
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:35:00 -
[6]
lol I got the "We're Sorry, Something Happened..." message after looking at this post.
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Eno Matterre
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:46:00 -
[7]
You sir, are a GENIOUS!
Seriously, this is THE best thread I've ever had the pleasure of reading on these boards.
So what it's totally not connected to EVE, so what it's lenghty and overly descriptive. The point of it is what matters.
From now on, each and every time I need to make an error message and won't really know what to tell the user I am simply going to write "WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED."!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
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DR HK
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:50:00 -
[8]
That was immensely fuuny please can i have your work phone number so i can ring you every 1.42 mins
to tell you that my computer keeps making funny noises like a fridge and i think it has something to
do with soft drive i had installed last week by an uncle who "knows quite a bit about comuters".
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RtoZ
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Posted - 2007.01.05 01:56:00 -
[9]
Or the extended version:
We're sorry, Something happened, was a nice a ship.
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Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
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Posted - 2007.01.05 02:14:00 -
[10]
 Originally by: Eno Matterre
You sir, are a GENIOUS!
Seriously, this is THE best thread I've ever had the pleasure of reading on these boards.
So what it's totally not connected to EVE, so what it's lenghty and overly descriptive. The point of it is what matters.
From now on, each and every time I need to make an error message and won't really know what to tell the user I am simply going to write "WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED."!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
Hehe. Sorry for the long post about nothing. 
It really was a crap day and writing a bunch of junk was really theraputic. So free therapy for me at your expense. Ha!
Just click the OK button and cruise on through. 
[OK]
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Walleye
Caldari
Northern Lights Mineral Reserve
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Posted - 2007.01.05 03:28:00 -
[11]
I laughed so hard at this my kids came running in here to see what was going on.
You gotta put that phrase in your bio!!
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Barasu
Minmatar
Crimson Wings Squadron
Forces of Freedom
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Posted - 2007.01.05 03:34:00 -
[12]
10/10
Whats more disgusting then death?
Not Trying! |
Baleorg
Gallente
Guys of Sarcasm
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Posted - 2007.01.05 03:37:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Roy Batty68
Just click the OK button and cruise on through.
[OK]
hmmm :)
BTW: A GOOD Cache-Cleaner |
Kaljostro
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:03:00 -
[14]
Hahaha nice one, enjoyed reading it.. :)
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Broska
FATAL REVELATIONS
FATAL Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:11:00 -
[15]
10/10
One of the best post's I've EVER read.
------------------------------
Originally by: Tovarishch
flying a Scorp into a fleet battle is like parking a pink moped in front of a biker bar - you will die... quickly.
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Draegario
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:20:00 -
[16]
What you're seeing is the website disabled page all scrunched up in the status window. Probably because of the work they are still doing on the servers.
- Drae
- - - - - - - - - -
"Everyone's got one. Better to be a smart one than a dumb one."
"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you." |
Marcus Druallis
Quantum Industries
Prime Orbital Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:27:00 -
[17]
Do I see the brewing of a trademarked eve forums line (ie Soon(tm))????
--
Originally by: Ghosthowl
At what level can i PVP?
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Haffrage
Revelations Inc.
Shroud Of Darkness
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:30:00 -
[18]
Bahahahaha, great post.
-----
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Lt Hole
Caldari
Tyrell Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:33:00 -
[19]
It's little jewels like this that keep me reading the forums.
10/10.
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bullnard
Caldari
EnfuRia
Confederation of Independent Corporations
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:35:00 -
[20]
Bravo...great post
----------------------
insert witty comment here.... |
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TZeer
Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:45:00 -
[21]
This thread just made my day :)
lol
Thank you!!
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Cou Yunt
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:46:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Eno Matterre
You sir, are a GENIOUS!
Seriously, this is THE best thread I've ever had the pleasure of reading on these boards.
So what it's totally not connected to EVE, so what it's lenghty and overly descriptive. The point of it is what matters.
From now on, each and every time I need to make an error message and won't really know what to tell the user I am simply going to write "WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED."!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
I'm surprised you can read at all you sycophantic imbecile. Thread was a load of egocentric nonesense. To OP, try working in thr NHS if you think your crappy job is stressful 
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Yeggstry
The Templars Knights
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Posted - 2007.01.05 06:59:00 -
[23]
Being a programmer myself and having to do tech support over the last month or so for my company in the UK I can sympathise with your situation.
However I can't match your brilliant story. Very entertaining reading for a Friday morning :)
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Naran Darkmood
Gallente
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:02:00 -
[24]
Great post, is there a new forum quote born?
Originally by: Jiekon
From what i`m aware of, reading the game rules, it's not against any rules to mine
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Matae
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:03:00 -
[25]
Fantastic read. Your bad day sure did humor mine You should go into buisness with whatshisnuts from the 0.0 experiment!
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Kishu
Shinra
Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:03:00 -
[26]
45 minutes later and I'm still laughing! This goes beyond comedy gold to the status of "ultimate post!"
Thank you for making me smile. |
Splagada
Minmatar
Tides of Silence
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:04:00 -
[27]
rofl i wish i could write like that
------
relaxed corp looking for members |
Sin Xiang
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:25:00 -
[28]
you sir, are a great and wise man. you get one (1) add to my address book so i can highfive you in game and thank you for the great message to leave in a can by that wreck i just popped
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Tyrenical
Caldari
CRICE Corporation
Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:40:00 -
[29]
Ive read the forums everyday since they were created. This was the best post by far that i have read in the history of the eve-online forums, possible anywhere, dude hopefully your day will be lucky and fun tomorow, thanks for the great post
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Arimus Darkhart
Caldari
Jewel Enterprises
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:47:00 -
[30]
Yep, that is one *excellent* post :)
(I have found during SI testing of one of our products at work a better error message though.... a blank dialogue box - no title, no buttons, no text of any kind - using gui inspection tools not even hidden stuff. Not too bad if it wasn't in the middle of a customer demo - as you can imagine the user community loved it.)
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Gone'Postal
Minmatar
LuthorCorp Combat Division
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Posted - 2007.01.05 07:51:00 -
[31]
/me goes off to clean the keyboard again..
Known Issues & Workarounds - The forum to fix the issues of Eve... Godhelp us if the Devs start trying to. |
Kazuma Saruwatari
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:00:00 -
[32]
Class man, pure class.
Sticky this guys, Funny Of The Week Award goes to...
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Sylthi
Minmatar
Coreward Pan-Galactic
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:09:00 -
[33]
Edited by: Sylthi on 05/01/2007 08:10:22
It was a real pleasure to read something that put CCP's view (actions) on customer service/relations in this sharp (and humorous) of a contrast, and yet was NOT a flame. It was a true pleasure to read. I am very sorry to wish this on you, but if you keep posting like this, I can only hope that you have more of "those kind of days" and continue useing your friendly Eve community as therapy. Best Regards, and a big CHEERS!!!
*
* |
Cindy Marco
Minmatar
Red Core
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:10:00 -
[34]
Best post ever. Anywhere.
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zibelthurdos
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:15:00 -
[35]
just plain funny.
clearly we have today's forum winner.
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ZaKma
The Scope
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:22:00 -
[36]
Awesome. 10/10 
---
I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. |
techzer0
IDLE GUNS
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:29:00 -
[37]
lol...
____________________
Hi. I'm not an alt :) |
Apocryphai
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.01.05 08:52:00 -
[38]
I lolled IRL.
Actually I'm still lolling
Originally by: Victor Valka
What the skull-chick said.
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Taelros
G.H.O.S.T
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:05:00 -
[39]
10/10
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Dumus
Silver Service
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:06:00 -
[40]
The OP wins EVE for the best post ever!
-Dumus-
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Madswede
North Star Networks
Cruel Intentions
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:19:00 -
[41]
Funny post!
That error message is along the lines of the description of the new ECM enhancers which says something like: "Does something so that ECM becomes better".
--------------------------------------------
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Kagura Nikon
Minmatar
The Black Dawn Gang
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:27:00 -
[42]
Well the best error message i ever got was on a DB system tool to operate along oracle. During installation it gives a nasty error message: "Critical failure at verification of .. a lot of rubish.. Code Error oxED34AF56" "Abort" Retry" "Ignore" "help"
I press help. in the hoep something explains -me what that error was about.
Then i get the following on the help dialog: Abort- Will abort the installation "retry- will try to install again" "Ignore- will ignore the error"
Wow, what a help!
If brute force doesn't solve your problem.. then you are not using enough!! |
Hux EmAll
monkey poo collecting crew
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:28:00 -
[43]
/me bows. well done, sir.
for me personally, that new year started well. I spent a lot of time in december to get the change of taxes in germany done, our computer system needed quite a bit work to handle the new settings. finally, everything works in january now much better than expected, I haven't had crying users on the phone yet. but I know the situation that you are in when supporting, so - you are not alone out there. ;)
great post, love it. :)
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Kryssa Fordring
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:40:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Kryssa Fordring on 05/01/2007 09:40:35
Quote:
All I got for my trouble was one of her patented wifely eye-rolls that all girls are taught by age 11.
LOL
Actually I used to babysit a girl that had this mastered" by the age of 7.
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Ms Freak
Amarr
NCN Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:40:00 -
[45]
I just woke the wife and received the very same slap and eye-roll manouver you did.
Very funny.
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Claudia Bluebell
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:42:00 -
[46]
I'm sorry, I didn't think it was very funny. But it could be me.
CCP shouldn't waste time producing detailed trouble reports, they should be doing actual troubleshooting. Demanding for more information would make us your 13th caller.
Just leave those CCP engineers in peace for once in a while. I'm sure they were working their butts off. Nightly upgrades ain't funny on a regular basis. Also their families didn't think it was funny that their husbands/wives had to work again for 24 hours straight. (And yes, I speak with the experience of someone who did router upgrades in the night, jammed between two 19" racks and a laptop actually on your lap. Oh, did I mention that some server rooms have been aiconditioned to 18 degrees Celcius with a steady breeze blowing in your face?
Anyway, people whine too much on the forums, if you want to get things better then hop on the test server and deliver some good bug reports. That will save the programmers some searching time.
Before I forget, the best error message comes actually from Linux: "lp1 on fire".
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Vult
Shiva
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:48:00 -
[47]
We need Dark Shikari to confirm the trademarking of a new forum quote, and also his confirmation that the OP has won the forums for today.
---
Time to update my sig... |
Chancer
Minmatar
Blueprint Haus
Center for Disease Creation
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:53:00 -
[48]
When I saw that message, for some strange I immediately thought that HAL from 2001 had taken over.
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Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
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Posted - 2007.01.05 09:56:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Claudia Bluebell
I'm sorry, I didn't think it was very funny. But it could be me.
CCP shouldn't waste time producing detailed trouble reports, they should be doing actual troubleshooting. Demanding for more information would make us your 13th caller.
Just leave those CCP engineers in peace for once in a while. I'm sure they were working their butts off. Nightly upgrades ain't funny on a regular basis. Also their families didn't think it was funny that their husbands/wives had to work again for 24 hours straight. (And yes, I speak with the experience of someone who did router upgrades in the night, jammed between two 19" racks and a laptop actually on your lap. Oh, did I mention that some server rooms have been aiconditioned to 18 degrees Celcius with a steady breeze blowing in your face?
Anyway, people whine too much on the forums, if you want to get things better then hop on the test server and deliver some good bug reports. That will save the programmers some searching time.
Before I forget, the best error message comes actually from Linux: "lp1 on fire".
I didn't mean it as a dig at CCP at all. Please don't take it that way. It was just an odd little thing that struck me as far more funny than it really was because of the day I had had. That's all. It was more just poking fun at software in general since I see both sides of that topic.
As to CCP and their upgrades, my hats off to em. They do very well at keeping us informed and I knew the downtime was coming well in advance. I've pulled my share of 16+ hour shifts trying to meet rigid deadlines and I know it's often a thankless effort.
So /cheers CCP! I wasn't making fun of you. Thank you for all your hard work!
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Devil Hanzo
Forum Moderator
Interstellar Services Department
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:00:00 -
[50]
Thanks for the smile, Roy. :)
King of the Pink Sig - Karl Chroimcer
Its red and very manly! - Devil Hanzo
First sigjack by me ever. - Garthagk
Violet would be even manlier - Conuion Meow
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Viqer Fell
Minmatar
Trinity Nova
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:02:00 -
[51]
lol, very funny post.
Puts me in mind of the meesage I get on Windows 2000 Professional at work when I change my LAN password and I am simply told
"Your Password has been"
very zen
Click here to visit our site
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Teemu Rihianen
Gallente
DaHOOD Communication
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:04:00 -
[52]
Coke all over my laptop and my classmates!
Thanks for making my day
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Steel Warrior
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:07:00 -
[53]
Edited by: Steel Warrior on 05/01/2007 10:08:31
Nice post, I really liked reading it.
However, I would expect something better from the CCP. It is nice to have a joke on screen, but they should have the real story in a corner for the people not aware of it. Personally I was not aware it was a 24 hours download, and would appreciate if the web page had a little footnote reminding that, under that old line about the amarrian fetching minmatar slaves. By the way, I think it is a very bad idea to bring down the game AND the web page at the same time.
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Kitia
STK Scientific
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:40:00 -
[54]
I just sprayed coffee all over my monitor via both nostrils.
You Sir are a class Act.
Kitia
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Greymalkin Gillion
Gallente
Freelancing Corp
Confederation of Independent Corporations
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:44:00 -
[55]
Brilliant post!
------------------------------
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Thor Xian
Vertigo One
E.A.R.T.H. Federation
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:47:00 -
[56]
Larry Niven style to the max.
~Thor Xian, Material Defender
"For all your Material Needs, Vertigo One."
Corp/Alliance Services |
000Hunter000
Gallente
The Lookers
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Posted - 2007.01.05 10:50:00 -
[57]
hehe first i feared this was another petition whine thread, but this made me lol!!!
M$ should adapt this errormessage into their own software impo
Resized tag... again... hope this pleases the tag ninjas from ccp... again :p
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Unknown Subject
Sound of Silence
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Posted - 2007.01.05 11:16:00 -
[58]
Great writing skills, very funny story =)
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Xcom
Gallente
Genco
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.01.05 11:42:00 -
[59]
Are you a righter by any chance? wow
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Bon Hedus
Amarr
O.E.C
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Posted - 2007.01.05 12:02:00 -
[60]
Excellent post. That is something that Douglas Adams would have wrote. Just the whole irony of the situation, the frustration of the day and then... "We're sorry, something happened"
Classic.
--------------------------------------
Heavy Lag Spike II belonging to EvE Cluster Node #0815 hits your Connection, wrecking your latency to 998ms |
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Blue Dice
Gallente
Flying While Intoxicated
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Posted - 2007.01.05 12:07:00 -
[61]
Ok....
You owe me an explanation to give to my boss that explains to him, why exactly i need a new keyboard....
luckily i got the laptop to keep "working" until i'll get it.
As for the coffee, i'll just get a new one from the machine....
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Antonio Freedman
Transgalactic Knights Hurrah
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Posted - 2007.01.05 12:08:00 -
[62]
Great post!
Work in It too see lots of weird EM's also.
WindowsITPro (link) has a back page dedicated to stoopid EM's.
Something Happened should be on there.....
Ant
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EzTarget
Minmatar
Critical Mass Enterprises
Imperium Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.05 12:17:00 -
[63]
I work for a major British Airline on the IT Helpdesk, best error I've had so far this year was:
Laminator on fire, please send engineer to fix. We need this laminator for security passes
When I contacted the engineer he was stumped as to how he could describe the error in their logs...
But I do feel for you, yesterday was my only day off since xmas - overtime ftw - and looking forward to a day of eve was slashed in 2 when the website and game servers were down. I nearly grabbed the phone to see if work wanted me in, but other interests happened... I played another game or 2 for a while, then finally got on at about 10PM and ran a complex where one of my alts is based... got a very nice Dramiel BPC from it, now I know what that complez is alway's impossible to run / camped for most of my play time.
Back to work today, more overtime :D, but I just know that I'll have to deal with a couple of calls from India, A couple from America, maybe a lost system access from Bermuda (I swear that triangle removes people access from systems faster than we can grant them), A rare call from Singapore requesting something that I've never heard of, and if I'm really lucky a SITA Orange Engineer from america wanting to know how to log onto the PC... At the end of the day, comming home to play Eve online is the only thing I can do, as looking at the code for EMS is slowly becomming more like work (I'm the guy everyone goes to for development help, but I'm not a developer, I'm just a hell desk worker). My day's off are precious, and Eve / EMS gain the majority of my attention, and well EMS coding is slipping, but I will get back to coding (XMas is over thank god, I've got my car back after it got rear ended, and I should have some more free time comming up as overtime is starting to disapear a little)...
Anyway Good post Roy, I better run now, since I'm starting work soon :(
One of the devs for the new Future Falcon Suite of Eve Tools, visit us here
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Gone'Postal
Minmatar
LuthorCorp Combat Division
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 12:59:00 -
[64]
35 Mins are you nuts,
There's a sticky at the top of this forum that gives 2 days notice.
Quote:
Posted - 2007.01.02 17:27:00
On Thursday, 4 January, Tranquility will undergo an extended 24 hour downtime for external network infrastructure changes and database server software updates. We do not expect the changes and upgrade to exceed 12 hours and hope to allow connections to Tranquility sooner; however we cannot guarantee network stability or connectivity until after the end of the scheduled downtime.
So he posted on the 02/01 regarding the 04/01.
Known Issues & Workarounds - The forum to fix the issues of Eve... Godhelp us if the Devs start trying to. |
JadeO
Caldari
W.A.S.P
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 13:16:00 -
[65]
rofl, awesome post!
______________
Looking for a good signature, logo, website layout? EVEMail me! |
Destiny Calling
Sanguine Legion
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 13:39:00 -
[66]
Brilliant post
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Roshan longshot
Gallente
Ordos Humanitas
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 13:39:00 -
[67]
Ok I can agree to alot....funny yes...wet my self funny no.
But a good read.
Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter pirate or mixture of them all.
[i]As read from the original box.
|
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CCP Fear
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 14:09:00 -
[68]
This has made me laugh quite a bit today. So my day is quite pleasant thanks to you Roy! Kudos! |
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Minikrimi Extreme
Essence Privateers
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 14:33:00 -
[69]
Grade A stuff.
I saw the news about the DT several days prior on login, but I'm always sad when the forums are taken off-line as well during extended DT's. Posts like this almost make up for the hours upon hours of no Eve. I'd rather have more Eve and fewer funny stories about having no Eve, but this is a very good consolation prize!
Hyolara Katsuromi
Handle:
Minikrimi Extreme
Essence Privateers website |
Big Z213
Shadow Company
Lotka Volterra
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 15:10:00 -
[70]
Know how you feel. 100+ e-mails everyday and phone going every 5 minutes - user base in about every country you can think of. This is why I don't petition the Devs the moments a pixel comes out of place, because I know that 20 people hassling me is unbelievably annoying, so 20,000 petitions about the same bug would be too much!
Maybe people might realise that if I wasn't answering their e-mails or calls, I might actually fix the problem! God dam users!!!
I prefer the other error messages in Eve, I like the 'something happened' one but one of my favs is if you try and invite yourself to a convo. You get a message saying something like 'It would be far more efficient to talk to yourself in person than do it through the chat window' or something.
Z
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Lebowske
M. Corp
Lotka Volterra
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 15:11:00 -
[71]
Lol! Im home sick with the flue - I laughed snotbabies all over my monitor damnit!
Thank you man, that post was fantistic - a very recognisable situation from the industry.
Kudos!
--------------------
- It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people believe
your an idiot, rather than opening it and removing all doubt.
|
Kylania
Gallente
Phoenix Industries
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 15:21:00 -
[72]
I've had two really great error messages before.
One was in with Adobe Photoshop. I was working with a file called "something.psd" and decided I didn't like my progress with it so tried to delete it from within PS. It popped up a confirmation box asking: "Delete something?" Yes/No Why yes! Delete something please, anything really!
The other one was at a LAN party. For some reason my NIC card wouldn't connect to the switch, so I started poking around and noticed in the logs the following utterly final error message: "Windows failed to load the drivers for the selected device and therefore will never attempt to do so again." Well, that's just great, throw in the towel why don't you Windows!
Great post Roy, brought a smile to my dreary morning.
--
Lil Miner
Newbie Skills Roadmap | How to Build from a BPO |
WredStorm
Gallente
Garoun Investment Bank
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Posted - 2007.01.05 15:25:00 -
[73]
Thanks, Roy, for starting my day off with a great bit of humor. :)
Wred
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Kari Kayira
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.05 15:29:00 -
[74]
Haha, great read.
I've gotten that driver error in Windows too.
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Abathur
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Posted - 2007.01.05 15:31:00 -
[75]
Excellent. I'm still laughing. That is sig-worthy material TBH.
"Tux did it!" |
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Slevin Kalebra
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Posted - 2007.01.05 15:33:00 -
[76]
thanks - now I owe you a laugh ...this should suffice
Jeb's Jobs Episode 1: Technical Support
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Jason Marshall
Hammer Of Light
Astral Wolves
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 15:43:00 -
[77]
Originally by: Roy Batty68
Ok, to set the stage:
I'm a programmer from the US working in europe. However, since outsourcing and COTS has become the only way to go for many managers, 95% of the time I end up playing tech support. I've just spent most of my workday answering numerous emails and phone calls about a certain software system that decided it was going to try something different in 07. A certain software system that I didn't design, program, or test but somehow I got tagged to "support" it.
It's been one of those days where the phone won't stop ringing, my email Inbox looks like it's sweating to the oldies, impatient people keep invading my office, and every 13th call is the same guy from 12 calls ago wanting to know why his situation hasn't improved in the last 20 minutes.
Yeah. Plenty of IT people have had these sort of days. Sure. But try it working in an international setting with people from 26 different countries as your user base. Kicks it up a notch, eh?
Phone call 1: Lively Italian Swearing!
Phone call 2: Please, my view stare blankly! (my german is rusty)
Phone call 3: I've either been hexed by a Romanian or he wants to buy me a document... I'm not sure.
Phone call 4: Turkish sergeant. Pretty good english. Very committed to describing exactly how this system failure makes him feel.
Phone call 5: No, the French didn't win the world cup, the Italians did and no, I would not like a cigar. What does all this have to do with your system not working?
Phone call 6: Yes sir, I'm aware there are people fighting in Afghanistan and quite frankly I wish I was with them!
Phone call ...n^42
Beat that, Mr Been-There-Done-That techy guy! Your IT-foo is weak.
Anyway, needless to say when I finally got home today I was in the mood to kick my cat. Thankfully I don't own a cat (and never will since 1] cats have no concept of ownership and 2] me and all cats seem to have an inherent Seinfeld Jerry versus Newman relationship) so no animals were harmed in the making of this day. But I was very tempted to ask my dutch neighbor if I could borrow his cat for a few minutes. He already looks at me weird so I decided not to risk escalating any Milagro Beanfield War this guy might have brewing in the back of his head.
So, long story short:
Bad day. Get home feeling a bit punch drunk. Plop down in front of my computer and fire up EVE. EVE no worky.
Double-Ewe Tee Eff?
Oh yeah! Today was patch day. EVE was down for 24 hours. Uber.
I glance at the Message of the Day window on the EVE logon client and notice that it appears blank but has this tiny little scroll bar like it's ready to scroll quite a distance. Being the compulsive scroll bar scroller that I am and irrationally hopeful that I might find some hidden message about the server coming back early, I do some scrolling. Clear at the bottom of this otherwise blank message box, in big white letters it says,
"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED"
I literally had one of those dramatic movie pauses where the sound track goes silent with an expectant hush as I sat staring at this this simple message and my brain struggled to digest it's meaning. Approximately .053 seconds later the sound track came back on and I laughed hysterically for the next 6 minutes. It probably would have been longer but my wife came in, smacked me in the back of the head, and said my "crazy man" laugh was scaring the kids. Through uncontrollable giggles and teary eyes I tried to explain to her that I had just found THE MOST perfect software error message in the history of everything. All I got for my trouble was one of her patented wifely eye-rolls that all girls are taught by age 11.
(cont.)
you are the only guy i know in IT that plays eve, who doesnt play it at work :).
Tacky lens flares in sigs 4tw! |
Cheyenne Shadowborn
Caldari
Citizens of E.A.R.T.H.
E.A.R.T.H. Federation
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Posted - 2007.01.05 15:48:00 -
[78]
rofl
But does it beat HP's legendary "PC ERROR"? I think not
Congratulations CCP on the worlds 718th-most useless error message (HP is first, second would be "Guru Meditation Error", and there is a maker of financial software in France whose software I have the (un)pleassure to support, they claim spots 3 to 717).
p.s. to the OP: Kernel messages are useful. Yes, even the hex stuff
--
[21:54:01] BaroteToo > cheyenne shadowborn is an ore theiving dead puke if I catch him |
Cudaya Ebsldes
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 16:00:00 -
[79]
As an end user -- an absolutely fantastic post.
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Hiro Kazamatsuri
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 16:02:00 -
[80]
Originally by: Apocryphai
I lolled IRL.
Wow ! that's scary !
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Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:03:00 -
[81]
Edited by: Akita T on 05/01/2007 16:07:24
And I thought "Error: you can not eject your computer" would be in the top 10
Definetely in the top 100 the very least also:
* Not enough memory to display this dialog
* Printer on fire
* Error: Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue
* Your mouse is not working, please click here to acknowledge
* The procedure failed with the following error: The command completed successfully
* Error 0000: No errors found, restarting computer
* Cannot delete tmp150_3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again
... is Microsoft french ?
_
My skills | Mod/Rig stacknerfing explained |
Verone
Veto.
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:21:00 -
[82]
lol
VETO FOR HIRE
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Kaldrani
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 16:30:00 -
[83]
Thoroughly entertaining. Ty.
"EVE is the FishermanŠs Friend of MMOŠs
If it is too hard, you are too weak." |
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Wrayth Osu
Caldari
Intergalactic House of Pi
Distant Star Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:32:00 -
[84]
Edited by: Wrayth Osu on 05/01/2007 16:34:51
WOW, not only was this extremely funny, it was extremely well written as well.
I kept thinking of Douglas Adams with the feel of this one.
I truely enjoyed this post.
11 out of 10. Great post.
____________________________________________________________________
Wrayth - "These are not the carebears you are looking for."
Pirate - "These are not the carebears we are looking for." |
Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:36:00 -
[85]
Originally by: Akita T
Edited by: Akita T on 05/01/2007 16:07:24
And I thought "Error: you can not eject your computer" would be in the top 10
Definetely in the top 100 the very least also:
* Not enough memory to display this dialog
* Printer on fire
* Error: Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue
* Your mouse is not working, please click here to acknowledge
* The procedure failed with the following error: The command completed successfully
* Error 0000: No errors found, restarting computer
* Cannot delete tmp150_3.tmp: There is not enough free disk space. Delete one or more files to free disk space, and then try again
... is Microsoft french ?
Originally by: Claudia Bluebell
Before I forget, the best error message comes actually from Linux: "lp1 on fire".
I love the "on fire" errors.
I worked on fighter aircraft for quite awhile in my military career and the F15E had this cool computerized voice warning system we fondly refered to as *****in Betty. You could get on the intercom and activate the test for that system and she would speel off everything in her vocabulary.
Engine..Fire..Right
Engine..Fire..Left
Over G..Obstacle A.head..blah blah
Anyway, after hearing her for the thousandth time my brain would take over and fill in what she should be saying...
Engine..Fire..Right
Engine..Fire..Left
You..are now..****ED!
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Billy Sastard
Amarr
Zephyr Enterprises Inc.
Astral Wolves
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:42:00 -
[86]
THANK YOU!!
I have been sick for the last few days and had to come in to work this morning. While drinking my coffee I decided to catch up on the forums, after reading your post I am now in a better mood than I have been in a few days.
As a side note, I too am going to borrow that error message for use when I am programming, as it is so very appropriate. The end user doesn't care about the details, just that something went wrong, and "We're sorry. Something happened." addresses this with perfect clarity!
Bravo for a wonderful post.
-=^=-
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Yuri Voronin
S.A.S
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:46:00 -
[87]
Epic thread!
Thank you very much.
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Miranda Duvall
Gallente
OPM Holdings
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:47:00 -
[88]
We hosted some german apps a few years back and one of the common error pages said this:
Es is ein Fehler aufgetreten, weil es etwas miBlungen ist
Its bad german, and roughly translates to: "An error occurred, because something didn't work"
Its the elaborate version of the op's message...
we still joke about that error-message today
Isn't it great being a skill collector?
Top 20
My Skills |
Gariuys
Evil Strangers Inc.
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Posted - 2007.01.05 16:56:00 -
[89]
I shared this with all my co-workers, awesome, great laugh.
For another great error message: There's a error with the error-handling!
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Iva Soreass
Deadly Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.05 18:28:00 -
[90]
\o/ Nice read and nice quote !
-----------------------------------------------
"Your momma is so fat, BoB thought she was a region and took her!" |
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DR HK
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 18:39:00 -
[91]
Originally by: Kylania
I've had two really great error messages before.
One was in with Adobe Photoshop. I was working with a file called "something.psd" and decided I didn't like my progress with it so tried to delete it from within PS. It popped up a confirmation box asking: "Delete something?" Yes/No Why yes! Delete something please, anything really!
The other one was at a LAN party. For some reason my NIC card wouldn't connect to the switch, so I started poking around and noticed in the logs the following utterly final error message: "Windows failed to load the drivers for the selected device and therefore will never attempt to do so again." Well, that's just great, throw in the towel why don't you Windows!
LOL this made me laugh almost as much as the op....yes yes windows throw in the towel.
Great post Roy, brought a smile to my dreary morning.
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StarRanger
Gallente
Royal Star Ranger Family
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Posted - 2007.01.05 19:42:00 -
[92]
lol, Roy, you should have done Beta-testing for EVE-Online because that time was hillarious with errors
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Mondo Banana
Gallente
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Posted - 2007.01.05 20:42:00 -
[93]
I was going to type in a long thoughtful reply, but...
SOMETHING HAPPENED
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Conuion Meow
Forum Moderator
Interstellar Services Department
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Posted - 2007.01.05 20:49:00 -
[94]
'tis brilliance! You really ought to write more!
Forum Rules | E-Mail us! (Report a bad post) | Sexeh CRC Website!
aka Onion -Eldo
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El Verbatim
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Posted - 2007.01.05 20:50:00 -
[95]
Hehe, reminds me of an error that's in our software and that pops up very rarely...
Title of the window is 'Error'.
content of the window is 'This is not an error. [Ok]'.
As it says, it is indeed no error but just a leftover from a developer but customers do call about it once every so many moons.
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Adoro
Shinra
Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2007.01.05 20:53:00 -
[96]
Lol very nice :D I reconize it though, at work people ask me stuff about there internet provider. Im like wtf? Since when did I provide your internet connection?
--------
Originally by: ChalSto
underestimate us one second and uŠll mine veldspar in empire for the rest of ur eve-life
The LV way |
Soulita
Gallente
Inner Core
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Posted - 2007.01.05 20:58:00 -
[97]
Originally by: Roy Batty68
"Sorry". We're all taught you do wrong, you say you're sorry. Evens the tally sheet some. My software has wronged me!!! And it's immediately "sorry". Well, ok then. I suppose I'm not so upset at my software if it appologizes.
ROFL Wonderfull!
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Sainna
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.01.05 21:22:00 -
[98]
Edited by: Sainna on 05/01/2007 21:22:03
Funny and original. Awesome post!
<---------------------------------------->
Drill Instructor: [i]"If your nature didn't lead you to trample everyone in your path with vindictive glee, you might be tolerabl |
sharkyballs
Amarr
Dkiller Delta Force Corp.
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Posted - 2007.01.05 21:32:00 -
[99]
this needs to be stickied and ccp needs to pay this guy to give us the future updates and error messages....great post
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Amantus
Gallente
Murientor Tribe
Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2007.01.05 21:51:00 -
[100]
Hehe that was awesome. Cheers for the laugh!
And also:
Errorified!
-----------
It's great being Gallente aint it? No, seriously I think it's pretty good. |
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Na'Kunni
Amarr
Warped Mining
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Posted - 2007.01.05 23:45:00 -
[101]
ROFL
classic m8, pure class
Originally by: Xenofur
Everyone wants to kick you in the nuts until your voice is stuck at the pitch of a japanese schoolgirl for the rest of your life.
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Larg Kellein
Caldari
GTE Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.06 00:25:00 -
[102]
Bravo. Very well written. Your lousy day greatly amuses me.
You, good sir, have just been sigged.
Originally by: Roy Batty68
My software has wronged me!!! And it's immediately "sorry". Well, ok then. I suppose I'm not so upset at my software if it appologizes.
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EzTarget
Minmatar
Critical Mass Enterprises
Imperium Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.06 00:27:00 -
[103]
Originally by: Gone'Postal
35 Mins are you nuts,
There's a sticky at the top of this forum that gives 2 days notice.
Quote:
Posted - 2007.01.02 17:27:00
On Thursday, 4 January, Tranquility will undergo an extended 24 hour downtime for external network infrastructure changes and database server software updates. We do not expect the changes and upgrade to exceed 12 hours and hope to allow connections to Tranquility sooner; however we cannot guarantee network stability or connectivity until after the end of the scheduled downtime.
So he posted on the 02/01 regarding the 04/01.
Some people (like myself) do not view the forums every day, it's more like once a month when I look at the forums, unless I'm looking for some specific information...
Oh and #1 error (I must find the screen shot again) is from microsoft:
Error: France
I think you :D
One of the devs for the new Future Falcon Suite of Eve Tools, visit us here
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Enders Vaal
Gallente
|
Posted - 2007.01.06 00:52:00 -
[104]
reminds me of
'Mind the Gap'
---
"You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."
"...but you have heard of me."
[green]Please resize imag |
Auri Hella
The Graduates
Interstellar Starbase Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.06 02:52:00 -
[105]
Thank you for providing some much needed humor. Lord knows I could use it
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Sebastien LaForge
|
Posted - 2007.01.06 03:41:00 -
[106]
Personally I prefer the error messege I get when the IGB fails to load a page.
"Something went wrong"
roffle
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nickky01
The Priory
Shroud Of Darkness
|
Posted - 2007.01.06 03:51:00 -
[107]
nothing but comedy gold here, a nice change =D
5 stars
-------------------------------------------
Originally by: Tyrrax Thorrk
Oh and IAC's official response to ISS's offer is lollerskates.
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Sorja
E X O D U S
Imperial Republic Of the North
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Posted - 2007.01.06 04:03:00 -
[108]
Frankly, this deserves to be stickied until 2008
Best post ever
____________________
A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipe, but who does not. |
Templer Relleg
Dark Knights of Deneb
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.01.06 11:13:00 -
[109]
I can now show the chocking pictures, of what happend:
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Fenderson
The Priory
Shroud Of Darkness
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Posted - 2007.01.17 22:44:00 -
[110]
i will DEFINITELY be using that in my next spftware release. Thanks, and you rock.
got new corp, need new sig. mail me ingame. |
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Tkdzzix
Astral Wolves
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Posted - 2007.01.17 22:49:00 -
[111]
I give you less than 10 minutes before your image gets nerfed! Put that puppy in a link, pictures are a forum no-no..
That begs the question "Why is the BBCode left enabled?" Who knows, but thats the rules.
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Roy Batty68
Caldari
Immortal Dead
|
Posted - 2007.01.17 22:59:00 -
[112]
Originally by: Fenderson
i will DEFINITELY be using that in my next spftware release. Thanks, and you rock.
Ran into another prize winner today messing around with ASP.Net...
"Value 6 out of Range: Must be between 1 and 9999"
Now I realize Microsoft likes to come up with their own "standards" to make even things like html their own little kind-of-proprietary bundle of fun, but damn... math? 
Nothing is sacred to Bill.
-------------------
... [OK] ...
zOMG! |
Malcanis
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Posted - 2007.01.17 23:56:00 -
[113]
On a side note have you read "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller?
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Zurtur
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.01.26 16:10:00 -
[114]
This thread is a great example why you shouldnt read EvE forums in the school. I laughted out loud, and whole class looked at me like WTF? My teacher wasnt exactly happy either.....
Z
-
Custom signature designs! |
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Petwraith
Forum Moderator
Interstellar Services Department
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Posted - 2007.01.26 16:52:00 -
[115]
I seriously just laughed so hard i was crying, classic story of my day!!
If it ain't orange, it ain't offical!
If it aint red it ain't important. - Hutch |
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SebbyTheFreak
Caldari
School of Applied Knowledge
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Posted - 2007.01.27 00:52:00 -
[116]
You never used an ADOBE products, didin't you?
The error message in After effect is " We are sorry, the program is about to crash, we offer you the possibility to save your work, we suggest creating a new file as the resulting save might be corrupt" And yes, you CAN save your work before the software crashes... and yes... it is sometime corrupt...
Second best error I ever seen was in 3DSMAX : "ERROR, MISSING MAGICAL NUMBER" - OK
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Grez
Minmatar
The Raven Warriors
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Posted - 2007.01.27 00:56:00 -
[117]
Originally by: SebbyTheFreak
You never used an ADOBE products, didin't you?
The error message in After effect is " We are sorry, the program is about to crash, we offer you the possibility to save your work, we suggest creating a new file as the resulting save might be corrupt" And yes, you CAN save your work before the software crashes... and yes... it is sometime corrupt...
Second best error I ever seen was in 3DSMAX : "ERROR, MISSING MAGICAL NUMBER" - OK
Hidden deep inside HL2, I discovered an error that read...
"Give me cake, and I shall work."
---
Cache Clearer |
Strel Samodelkin
Caldari Nationalist Party
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Posted - 2007.01.27 00:57:00 -
[118]
I manage a small IT corporation and we hardly have any phone calls at all. We essentially do "preventive maintenance" and design our network infrastructure in such a way as to avoid this type of stuff. It sometimes makes me feel useless, just sitting here, with nothing to do but read the forums. But, on the other hand, it is a good sign that everything is running nice and smooth.
I feel for ya though.
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The Milenko
|
Posted - 2007.01.27 01:25:00 -
[119]
Nice post!
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MellaRinn
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.27 01:51:00 -
[120]
brilliant, had a chuckle loudly :D
Click |
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Taedrin
Gallente
The Last Ravens
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:17:00 -
[121]
I missed this the first time around, but it made me smile none-the-less.
10/10
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Dave White
coracao ardente
|
Posted - 2007.01.27 02:25:00 -
[122]
hahaha thats good
CORA. Killboard
Personal Killboard |
Lynx Calis
|
Posted - 2007.06.21 11:21:00 -
[123]
LMAO
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Christina Vallentine
Caldari
Tau Ceti Global Production
Rule of Three
|
Posted - 2007.06.21 11:35:00 -
[124]
lol Awesome post Roy =). Made my morning.
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Space Perverts and Forum Warriors United
Cult of War
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Posted - 2007.06.21 11:36:00 -
[125]
I believe the words, "We're sorry, something happened." will appear on a wooden sign on the moon after the earth blows up and alien species come to visit.
Sounds so, D.A.
Well written man, well written.
So yeah, i have a problem with being serious, but it's the almost smallest problem i have. |
CaptianBlack
Minmatar
EFFI Reanchoring
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Posted - 2007.06.21 11:53:00 -
[126]
great post..
[URL=http://imageshack.us][/URL] |
KingKenny
Minmatar
Under The Edge
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Posted - 2007.06.21 12:20:00 -
[127]
A necro post.
Still funny mind.
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Cpt Branko
Partisan Warfare Ltd.
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Posted - 2007.06.21 12:33:00 -
[128]
Edited by: Cpt Branko on 21/06/2007 12:33:23
Originally by: Eno Matterre
From now on, each and every time I need to make an error message and won't really know what to tell the user I am simply going to write "WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED."!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!
Damnit, it must be the perfect error message.
Although, writing something sensible works for debugging purposes, so you at least know what part actually crashed.
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Malcanis
High4Life
Curse Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.21 12:42:00 -
[129]
To the OP: thanks for reminding me of why I got the hell out of tech support.
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CCP Tryphon
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Posted - 2007.06.21 12:58:00 -
[130]
hahahaha yup, I laughed a lot
I want to see this creep into all areas of the software market... in a coupuple of years time I want to see "we're sorry, something happened" instead of the 405 error message... k?
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Sharupak
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Posted - 2007.06.21 13:26:00 -
[131]
After the patch I got on and clicked on an agent to reject an offer she had given before the patch. Its one of those autonomous things you do click link and wait for the screen to change and click link at the bottom and close window...
Except there was no link and the dialog script was longer. So I started to read it (I wish I could have cut an pasted it because it was a definate WTF?! and then I started busting out laughing)
"I am really sorry, I dont know what has gotten into me lately! I think I just had an unhandled exception! Things have been really wierd lately and I dont know what to do about it except log this exception with the server!" I get a little crazy sometimes, so if I do this again, report me to the petitions office to straighten me out!"
Not word for word but pretty close.
I think its because of the LP store and the coalation of lp points that the offer got scratched, but there was definately a bored programmer at 2 in the morning on that one!
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Pehova Mindtriq
Endgame.
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Posted - 2007.06.21 13:46:00 -
[132]
his post reminds me of when Jerry and George is writing a sit-com about nothing
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CCP Garthagk
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Posted - 2007.06.21 14:06:00 -
[133]
Great post.
--------------
Garthagk - EVE Web Guy
To err is human to really ***** up takes admins. -Hellmar |
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Arimus Darkhart
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.06.21 14:15:00 -
[134]
I still prefer the old 'printer on fire' error messages in *nix - however this one is a very very close second :)
--
Users are like a virus - each causing a thousand tiny crises until the host finally dies. |
Haradgrim
Caldari
The Wild Bunch
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Posted - 2007.06.21 14:55:00 -
[135]
I haven't laughed this hard since I read 150 facts about Chuck Norris (the first time).
You Sir have just won Eve, without having logged in.
That.which.does.not.bend.breaks |
Buxaroo
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.06.21 15:18:00 -
[136]
Damn, I can't beleive I missed this post. That message is something that I would imagine could come straight out of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or something by Douglas Adams
And if this does creep into the memetic software soup, let it be known where it started...right here on EVE-O forums
"No matter where you go, there you are" - Buckaroo Banzai |
Selthae
Celestial Horizon Corp.
Valainaloce
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Posted - 2007.06.21 21:21:00 -
[137]
Thank you the best laugh of at the very least today :D
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Wacoede
Amarr
Allied Combat Team
Endless Horizon
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Posted - 2007.06.21 21:28:00 -
[138]
Edited by: Wacoede on 21/06/2007 21:27:29
Edited by: Wacoede on 21/06/2007 21:27:11
wow i read this when it was first posted i had to do a double take on the forums to be sure i wasn't seeing things but yes i loved it then and it cheered up my day again
CCP Sticky this forever as its a reminder that no matter how bad it gets you should always laugh
An Idea about Bounties Version 2 |
Rumari Antar
Center for Advanced Studies
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Posted - 2007.06.21 21:33:00 -
[139]
Priceless. But, did you manage to get a screenshot?
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Anehra
X-Fire
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Posted - 2007.06.22 08:36:00 -
[140]
Awsome post.
- Revelation II -
"WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED" |
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Tarkam
Caldari
Dirt Nap Squad
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.18 21:59:00 -
[141]
*Golf Clap*
Best Post of the Year
Why dont we all just get along.
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Matalino
Gallente
Ki Tech Industries
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Posted - 2007.07.18 22:25:00 -
[142]
Edited by: Matalino on 18/07/2007 22:25:54
This is one of those few threads that I don't mind seeing necro'ed. Especially if I have had a bad day at work: I also work in IT so can easily relate to the OP. Hopefully the mods will continue to let it slide and we'll see it a again in a few months. One of the great clasic forum threads.
Quote:
My software has wronged me!!! And it's immediately "sorry". Well, ok then. I suppose I'm not so upset at my software if it appologizes.
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Aeran Hermas
Caldari
State War Academy
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Posted - 2007.07.18 23:58:00 -
[143]
This thread wins.
That is all.
--
Aeran Hermas
Originally by: hUssmann VETO
404 - Sense of humour not found.
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Ninja Otaku
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Posted - 2007.07.18 23:59:00 -
[144]
At work, just showed all the IT guys here this thread. Hat's off to ya, cheers.
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Beor0d
Congregatio
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Posted - 2007.07.19 00:12:00 -
[145]
Hopefully you are going to have more of this "crap day" moments and post them here :)
_______________________
Mining makes mad |
An Anarchyyt
Gallente
Federal Navy Academy
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Posted - 2007.07.19 00:39:00 -
[146]
Since this has been necro'd again, I thought I'd share this little tidbit.
There was a little study, which basically concluded that people were happier with more "polite" error messages versus the "informative" ones (IE The ones that say "Blah blah computer junk you probably don't know").
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Falcon Wolfe
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Posted - 2007.08.02 00:21:00 -
[147]
*slow aplause*
Bravo, my friend, bravo.
------------------------------------
(\__/)
(+'.'+) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination. |
Mallikan
Gallente
Subach-Tech
FATAL Alliance
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Posted - 2007.08.02 02:45:00 -
[148]
Best post of the week!
---
I Support The NOS Nerf! If anything just to make you mad.
Proud Member of FATAL Alliance
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Laura Steel
Minmatar
Independent Interspace Industiers
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Posted - 2007.08.02 02:58:00 -
[149]
Awesome.
----
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Snarker
Caldari
Dragon's Rage
Intrepid Crossing
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Posted - 2007.08.02 05:38:00 -
[150]
Epic thread! The best one I have ever seen.
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Tortun Nahme
Minmatar
Heimatar Services Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.08.02 08:35:00 -
[151]
Originally by: Mallikan
Best post of the week!
you mean a week that was over nearly 8 months ago right?
Real men fly Pink.
I've been living in your cassette, It's the modern equivalent, singing up to a Capulet, on a balcony in |
Da Ram
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Posted - 2007.08.02 09:14:00 -
[152]
Originally by: An Anarchyyt
Since this has been necro'd again, I thought I'd share this little tidbit.
There was a little study, which basically concluded that people were happier with more "polite" error messages versus the "informative" ones (IE The ones that say "Blah blah computer junk you probably don't know").
Was that the study conducted by Apple ?
Ram
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Haizum
The New Eve Order
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Posted - 2007.08.02 09:15:00 -
[153]
Pure genius, incredibly funny read!
I tip my hat to you sir!
---------------
If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory.
- Lt. Col. Tim Collins |
Angelica Tharax
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.08.02 09:18:00 -
[154]
I am *so* going to use this.
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Nian Banks
Minmatar
Berserkers of Aesir
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Posted - 2007.08.02 10:11:00 -
[155]
Edited by: Nian Banks on 02/08/2007 10:11:48
I'm sorry but the greatest error message was already made back in the 80's. It was infact...
Guru Meditation Error.
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Rimhawk
Caldari
Vengeance 8 Interceptors
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Posted - 2007.08.02 11:09:00 -
[156]
In case of the forum, I would actually have expected this message instead:
"WE'RE SORRY, NOTHING HAPPENED".
.
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't." |
Protroskya
Gallente
Neuro Cartographic Services
Gods of Night and Day
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Posted - 2007.08.02 12:08:00 -
[157]
Thank you. You made my day. :)
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Matalino
Gallente
Ki Tech Industries
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Posted - 2007.11.29 03:58:00 -
[158]
Saddly we may truly be at the end of an era. So let us have one last laugh at this thread before it is officially dead due to the release of Trinity: Originally by: Patch Notes
The MOTD will no longer display "Planck bubble" messages. We sure showed Planck who's boss!
**************************
Datacore Harvesting IPO |
Chris Bartlett
Caldari
The Merchant Marines
VENOM Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.13 22:23:00 -
[159]
Excellently written :) made me giggle a lot
I'm highly biased about most things, but it has nothing to do with the overall view of my corp or alliance |
syphurous
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
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Posted - 2008.01.13 22:42:00 -
[160]
Edited by: syphurous on 13/01/2008 22:46:26
Necro.
___
All Ur Salvage R Belong 2 Me ! |
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Thorek Ironbrow
Ironbrow Industries Co.
Empire Research
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Posted - 2008.01.13 22:44:00 -
[161]
/signed.
Although it would be nice to tell me what actually went wrong, rather than saying
"Tell a Programmer to UP_VERTEX_BUFFER"
What am I going to do, walk up to some whiz kid and say "Hey... up underscore vertex underscore buffer?" and hopefully expect a useful reply. And I'm serious, one game I have that crashes constantly tells me to tell a programmer to up vertex buffer or something similar.
_____________________________
Thorek Ironbrow of Ironbrow Industries Co.
Part of the Empire Research Alliance
Look us up in Nomaa or Itamo to join! |
Korizan
Oort Cloud Industries
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Posted - 2008.01.13 23:07:00 -
[162]
This is a great story and all things considered it really deserves a Sticky because it is a timeless classic.
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An Anarchyyt
Gallente
Battlestars
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.01.14 00:10:00 -
[163]
Why is this thread open?
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
Second, a gentile is a non jewish person
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cal nereus
Bounty Hunter - Dark Legion
Brutally Clever Empire
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Posted - 2008.01.14 00:12:00 -
[164]
This was one of my favorite threads... and then it got necro'd... multiple times...
---
Join BH-DL
Skills |
Spenz
Gallente
Dark Knights of Deneb
Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2008.01.14 00:21:00 -
[165]
this thread should keep getting necroed. It is just too good.
If I had an Alt I would probably post with it... |
Selene Le'Cotiere
Amarr
I-Omniscient-I
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Posted - 2008.01.14 00:31:00 -
[166]
LOL... excellent read.
10/10
***
"Some would call me a Demon. Others, a Vampire. But if the truth be told, I'm a child of the moon and a Goddess among men."
Free pint of blood for the Dev who agrees |
DuPuy
Scrap Iron Flotilla
Namtz'aar k'in
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Posted - 2008.01.14 00:41:00 -
[167]
There is one error message I would actually like to see very much...
(in large, friendly letters...)
DONT PANIC
Generally, it's the most useful and sensible thing anyone will ever tell you.
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cpu939
Gallente
OffBeat Creations
The Covenant Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.14 01:46:00 -
[168]
this is a great post i laugh so hard i all most fell over.
i work in front line tech support. we get calls from all over the place some with great English some without some start great and by the time you tell them they need to pay there English has all but gone.
here is wishing i could say WE'RE SORRY, SOMETHING HAPPENED
well i finish on Wednesdays the 16th so if i can I'll try to get it in
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Trof
Gallente
Griffin Inc.
Kinetic Maelstrom Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.14 16:27:00 -
[169]
Great Post! I am still chuckling. You are a very witty person, Bravo!
I feel your pain I too am a programmer tasked with supporting the systems I did write and plenty of those I didnÆt. I have always been a fan of straight forward error messages in my code, however most of the time it is frowned upon by the company and they insist I remove them. When I was in school (many years ago) I used to be very creative with error messaging much to chagrin of my professors, they were not amused. Here are a few examples of my rude message file.
Error Message: æYes this is an error but you are an idiot. How the heck did you mange to produce this error.Æ
Error Message: æIf you would just follow direction you would have never ended up here in the first place.Æ
When trying to access a secured function in the software without the proper security.
Error Message: æDonÆt not display you ignorance by messing with things you do not understandÆ.
After repeatedly (usually 3 times) receiving the same edit error on a date. The messages were progressive.
æInvalid Date, Please Enter a Valid DateÆ
æStill Invalid, Please enter a Valid DateÆ
æOK what part of Invalid Date donÆt you understand? Enter a Valid DateÆ,
æYou are too Dumb to use my software, have a Nice DayÆ at which time they were booted to the dos prompt (I told you this was a long time ago).
Free your Mind!
Acknowledge and Move On!
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Alex Raptos
The Firestorm Cartel
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Posted - 2008.03.16 19:40:00 -
[170]
This threads deserves to never get locked.
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Epoh
Foundation
R0ADKILL
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Posted - 2008.03.16 22:14:00 -
[171]
Has it really been over a year since I read this thread the first time? I've played this game too long >.<
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Calacheng
Caldari Mercenary Legion
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Posted - 2008.03.17 03:22:00 -
[172]
This is exactly like Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams and i love it. Very well written and it totally fits the current EVE situation. Thank you for this comic relief.
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Lirt
Ceratias Holboelli
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Posted - 2008.03.17 04:00:00 -
[173]
This thread has way too many CCP responses, it needs some kind of nerfing, like... moderated posts.
Quote:
i Quote:
am Quote:
a Quote:
pyramid Quote:
quote
--------------------------------------------------
"Assumption is the Mother of Screw-Up"
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Katrina Bekers
Sudo Magodo Corp
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Posted - 2008.03.17 12:25:00 -
[174]
Thank you to whoever raised this thread from the dead. Necromancy is usually a bad thing, but in this case, I deeply thank the necromancers. The OP is distilled genius.
--
Kate |
Rook Highwind
United Oligopoly of Tea Traders
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Posted - 2008.03.17 12:42:00 -
[175]
Likewise. This message is going in every program write from now on.
______________________________________
~Newbing up the place since 6/12/2007~ |
Xaen
Caritas.
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Posted - 2008.03.17 13:58:00 -
[176]
Good for a laugh, but you've been drawn into the lazy programmer trap too. Even if you aren't one.
Ok only dialogs are the worst, laziest, UI action that a program can possibly take.
It steals focus from the user, and forces the user to take an action that doesn't result in the software doing anything but getting out of their way. And it shouldn't have been IN their way in the first place.
IMHO, the ability to create OK only dialogs should be removed from Windows, X, Javascript, Java, .NET, and VBA.
Sorry for the tangential rant, but I'm sick and tired of seeing people continue to use those abhorrent crutches instead of a real notification system.
-
Support fixing the UI|Suggest Jita fixes|Compact logs |
Xaen
Caritas.
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Posted - 2008.03.17 14:00:00 -
[177]
Originally by: Rook Highwind
Likewise. This message is going in every program write from now on.
I hope you don't work for me, because if I see this, you're fired.
-
Support fixing the UI|Suggest Jita fixes|Compact logs |
Morrow Disca
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.03.17 14:09:00 -
[178]
I work in IT, how the list of calls did make me lol.
Gratz to the OP for writing the most entertaining post General has seen in ages.
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Sarah Khanid
Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2008.03.17 15:07:00 -
[179]
Do you know Basel Faulty ?
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Greme
Slacker Industries
Exuro Mortis
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Posted - 2008.03.17 16:03:00 -
[180]
And thus, hopefully, a new eve meme is born...
Your signature is too large. Please resize it to a maximum of 400 x 120 with the file size not exceeding 24000 bytes. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] - Mitnal |
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Inconstant Moon
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2008.03.17 18:43:00 -
[181]
Excellent post, possibly even changing the course of the war between humans and squirrels!
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