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ShadowMaiden
Amarr Divine Radiance
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:43:00 -
[1]
How many CCP staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the logs show nothing is wrong and the bulb is working as intended.
-badum ksh-
-gets coat-
|

Jaelyn Keris
Minmatar Republic Military School
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:46:00 -
[2]
You're right, that IS terrible  Also, I talk a lot. |

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:48:00 -
[3]
Okay, that was pretty damn funny, yeah. Terrible, but funny. Here's one:
How many NPC corp alts does it take to live in losec?
YOU WOULD'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!
Originally by: 5pinDizzy Troll Score-o-Meter --------Failure----------|||-----------Succes------- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1--0--1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
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ShadowMaiden
Amarr Divine Radiance
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:49:00 -
[4]
Edited by: ShadowMaiden on 19/04/2009 16:55:33 Edited by: ShadowMaiden on 19/04/2009 16:50:48 3 minmatar walk into a bar....
..."damn alloyed trit!" they all shout.
what do get if you cross CCP Mitnal/CCP Weatherman?
A 2 week ban.
tyvm
I'm here all week
|

Merii Kha'sen
Amarr Divine Radiance
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Posted - 2009.04.19 16:51:00 -
[5]
When will gallente finally be a viable PvP option?
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:53:00 -
[6]
EvE PvE
Badum-DISH!!!
 
Originally by: 5pinDizzy Troll Score-o-Meter --------Failure----------|||-----------Succes------- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1--0--1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
|

ShadowMaiden
Amarr Divine Radiance
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 16:57:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon EvE PvE
Badum-DISH!!!
 
I just felt a ripple pass through my pod, as if a million angry carebears all suddenly cried out at once.
|

Grek Forto
Malevolent Intentions Dark Solar Empire
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 17:16:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Merii Kha'sen When will gallente finally be a viable PvP option?
Originally by: Stitcher It's "Caldari", not "Caldarians". One Caldari, three Caldari, all the Caldari are doing Caldari things using Caldari tools in a Caldari way.
|

RedSplat
Heretic Army
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 17:22:00 -
[9]
Minmatar.
I know right? XD 
Originally by: CCP Mitnal
I don't sleep. I am always here. Watching. Waiting.
Originally by: CCP Mitnal it does get progressively longer.
|

Mal Lokrano
Gallente Faulcon de Lazy
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Posted - 2009.04.19 18:03:00 -
[10]
How many Brutors does it take to change a light bulb?
2, one to break off the old one, and the other to hammer the new one into the water spout.
I knwo its lame but I got my CEO to laugh. ____________________________________________ When going to a party with wine, women, and song. Always acertain the vintage of the first two. |

Epegi Givo
Amarr Red Rising.
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 18:50:00 -
[11]
look at my bio in-game. ------------------------------------- My other alt is a Ferrari |

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 19:06:00 -
[12]
How do you keep a Matari from suffocating?
Stop trying to blow up his pod.
Originally by: 5pinDizzy Troll Score-o-Meter --------Failure----------|||-----------Succes------- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1--0--1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
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Haakelen
Gallente REUNI0N Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2009.04.19 19:40:00 -
[13]
Siigari Kitawa.
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Surius Matterstone
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Posted - 2009.04.19 19:46:00 -
[14]
Yo mama's so fat she has to drop a cyno just to leave the house.
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Neo Omni
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.19 19:47:00 -
[15]
What do you get when you cross a Caldari with an Amarr?
Ans: CalAmarri.
Joke courtesy of Funtclaps (man, what a name)
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 19:54:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Surius Matterstone Yo mama's so fat she has to drop a cyno just to leave the house.
That's bad .... 
Originally by: 5pinDizzy Troll Score-o-Meter --------Failure----------|||-----------Succes------- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1--0--1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
|

Korerin Mayul
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Posted - 2009.04.19 20:38:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Surius Matterstone Yo mama's so fat she has to drop a cyno just to leave the house.
actual lol.
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Fifi LeFume
No Trademark
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Posted - 2009.04.19 20:44:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Haakelen Siigari Kitawa.
HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHA
c.
|

Agent Known
Apotheosis of Virtue
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 20:54:00 -
[19]
This thread. Obviously what I say isn't always what my alliance thinks. I hate to break it to you, but this is in fact my signature. |

Beckoner Venhatha
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Posted - 2009.04.19 21:02:00 -
[20]
A Minmatar (crash)lands his ship on a deserted moon. On walking around he finds a stoppered Quafe bottle.
When he loosens the bottle, the imprisoned Jovian is set free and promises him three wishes.
Thinking on this he says 'I wanna bottle of beer that never runs out'
The Jovian waves his (arms/tentacles - delete as applicable) and a small crate appears with an ice cold bottle of beer on top.
The Minmatar drinks deeply, watches as the level of beer rises to the top, smiles and drinks a few more times..
Impatiently, the Jovian says 'Come on, what do you want for the other wishes?'
Thinking deeply (brow furrowed in concentration) for a couple of minutes, the Minmatar's face clears.
With a broad smile he says 'Thanks... I think I'll have two more...'
|

Lt Shard
United Trade Coalition
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 21:06:00 -
[21]
Jita.
I know old.  _________________________
Yes, I know the Titan is small in my sig. |

Astigmatic
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 21:55:00 -
[22]
How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
|

Grek Forto
Malevolent Intentions Dark Solar Empire
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 21:58:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha....*whipes tear* Good one 
Originally by: Stitcher It's "Caldari", not "Caldarians". One Caldari, three Caldari, all the Caldari are doing Caldari things using Caldari tools in a Caldari way.
|

ShadowMaiden
Amarr Divine Radiance
|
Posted - 2009.04.19 22:18:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
You sir, have just won the internet. You now owe me a new laptop screen, I just sprayed wine all over it from laughing.
-shakes fist-
|

Junko Togawa
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 02:33:00 -
[25]
How do you keep a vast horde of morons and fools in suspense?
The Empress will tell you tomorrow.
Did you hear the one about the two sober Thukkers?
Neither did I!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting Amarrian.
The interrupting Ama--
SILENCE SLAVE!

Originally by: Dreximus
Originally by: Alowishus These things make the game more exciting overall for people who enjoy risk and the ability to take responsibility for their own safety. At the risk of being cliche, th
|

Oedus Caro
Caldari Cross Roads
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 02:55:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Korerin Mayul
Originally by: Surius Matterstone Yo mama's so fat she has to drop a cyno just to leave the house.
actual lol.
That did actually make me laugh... tyvm! 
|

Trustworthy Joe
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 03:26:00 -
[27]
they call em strip miners, but i dunno.... _______________________
with a name as trustworthy as mine, i cant POSSIBLY be an alt
Originally by: CCP Navigator I locked this thread BECAUSE OF FALCON
|

Verx Interis
Amarr Honour Bound Sc0rched Earth
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 03:34:00 -
[28]
Fleet sniper Ravens. ---- Logins required for this post: 696866 |

Elgalis
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 04:06:00 -
[29]
How many people does it take to fly an Amarr battleship? 500 499 Minmitar to do all the work and 1 Amarrian to hold the whip.
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Envy Draconus
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Posted - 2009.04.20 04:17:00 -
[30]
Minmatar are like trained apes. Without the training...
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ShadowGod56
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 05:24:00 -
[31]
Originally by: Envy Draconus Minmatar are like trained apes. Without the training...
i loled
i asked a person
how many BOB's do you need to screw in a light bulb
he responded
who's bob?
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 06:35:00 -
[32]
Originally by: ShadowGod56
Originally by: Envy Draconus Minmatar are like trained apes. Without the training...
i loled
i asked a person
how many BOB's do you need to screw in a light bulb
he responded
who's bob?
That is funny, in a sad, wrong sort of way ...
 
Originally by: 5pinDizzy Troll Score-o-Meter --------Failure----------|||-----------Succes------- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1--0--1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
|

Neo Omni
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.20 07:23:00 -
[33]
A Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Gallente, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Caldari, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Minmatar grabs the fly, squeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
|

Bullageddon
Caldari
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Posted - 2009.04.20 07:28:00 -
[34]
Originally by: Neo Omni A Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Gallente, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Caldari, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Minmatar grabs the fly, squeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
lemme guess, originally they were french, english, and irish? === This Space For Lease or Sale. |

Neo Omni
Gallente
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 07:36:00 -
[35]
Originally by: Bullageddon
Originally by: Neo Omni A Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Gallente, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Caldari, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Minmatar grabs the fly, squeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
lemme guess, originally they were french, english, and irish?
same difference
|

Orion GUardian
Caldari
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 09:01:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Neo Omni
Originally by: Bullageddon
Originally by: Neo Omni A Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Gallente, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Caldari, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Minmatar grabs the fly, squeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
lemme guess, originally they were french, english, and irish?
same difference
Nope, Caldari are more like German, at least as far as I noticed.
|

Yvonne Lighne
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Posted - 2009.04.20 10:00:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Orion GUardian
Originally by: Neo Omni
Originally by: Bullageddon
Originally by: Neo Omni A Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar are in a bar when a fly lands in each of their beers. The Gallente, disgusted, pushes the beer away and demands a new one. The Caldari, picks the fly out and keeps drinking. The Minmatar grabs the fly, squeezes it, and shouts, "Spit it out you little bastard!"
lemme guess, originally they were french, english, and irish?
same difference
Nope, Caldari are more like German, at least as far as I noticed.
So better tasting beer, just less drunk, except at specially organised events? 
|

Giannamichaels
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Posted - 2009.04.20 10:51:00 -
[38]
Why is it hard to date a minmatar guy, because it starts with huggin but then they rapier
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Veritech knight
Envoy Corps
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Posted - 2009.04.20 11:41:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Giannamichaels Why is it hard to date a minmatar guy, because it starts with huggin but then they rapier
*chuckles*
|

Math'ra Hiede
Amarr Ordo Quaesitoris
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 11:48:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Giannamichaels Why is it hard to date a minmatar guy, because it starts with huggin but then they rapier
Made me lol, even though it is terrible 
Originally by: CCP Greyscale :facepalm:
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Oedus Caro
Caldari Cross Roads
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 12:16:00 -
[41]
Originally by: Oedus Caro
Originally by: Korerin Mayul
Originally by: Surius Matterstone moderated.
actual lol.
That did actually make me laugh... tyvm! 
Since when do "Yo mama" jokes need to be moderated? WTS: sense of humour.
|

5pinDizzy
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 12:27:00 -
[42]
Nock Nock
Who's there?
Iteron
Iteron who?
Iteron the head 'til she opens the door!
---------------------------------------
How many many characters does a metagamer use to change a lightbulb?
Twenty;
One to change the lightbulb.
One to hold the ladder.
One to shine a torch while there's not a working lightbulb.
One to search the house for valuables while the owner pops out to the shop.
Four going around asking everyone else on the street if they'd like their lightbulb changing.
Two in a house either side keeping a lookout for rival bulb changing companies.
Ten sitting in an unmarked van outside incase any rival bulb changing companies do turn up.
if you disagree with me then you should probably post a response and stop reading my signature. |

Julius Rigel
House Rigel
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 12:28:00 -
[43]
So a Minmatar walks into a bar with a fedo on his head, and the bartender asks "Gee where did you get that?" and the fedo replies "Pator! They're crawling all over the place!".
|

Aurevoir Connard
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 14:34:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Aurevoir Connard on 20/04/2009 14:37:43 Ambulation is coming
Seriously,
What do you call an Ushra'Khan pilot withut a cloak?
....a Noob
|

Dark Soldat
Caldari
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 16:48:00 -
[45]
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
Gold m8, juts pure gold.    
|

Lego Maniac
Minmatar Dusty Death Enterprise Libertas Fidelitas
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Posted - 2009.04.20 18:08:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Aurevoir Connard What do you call an Ushra'Khan pilot withut a cloak?
....a Noob
strange, that's what I call Ushra'Khan pilots with cloaks
|

Nagen
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 18:23:00 -
[47]
Q. what do you when you see Minmatar jumping on one leg across the road? A. Stop laughing and reload.
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Kaidem
Minmatar Black Rebellion
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Posted - 2009.04.20 18:31:00 -
[48]
I r offendid buy all teh minnmatar jokez 
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Nagen
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Posted - 2009.04.20 18:43:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Kaidem I r offendid buy all teh minnmatar jokez 
the cool shades don't make up for it or something? 
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Lendwill
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 19:55:00 -
[50]
Edited by: Lendwill on 20/04/2009 19:58:28 What do you get when you cross Goonfleet with boredom?
Dead highsec miners.
|

Kieler
|
Posted - 2009.04.20 20:04:00 -
[51]
A blind Brutor walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the center of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head.
Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the blind Brutor and demands, "What the hell are you doing?"
The blind Brutor turns toward the patron and says, "Oh, nothing, just looking around."
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Astigmatic
|
Posted - 2009.04.24 23:13:00 -
[52]
How many CCP devs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They prefer to keep the playerbase in the dark.
p.s. Unfair I know but I chuckled. 
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.24 23:18:00 -
[53]
What do you call the noob in the falcon?
Primary.
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Astigmatic
|
Posted - 2009.04.24 23:27:00 -
[54]
How many Gallente does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to mix the quafe and one to call the electrician.
|

Recon Three
181st Legion Heretic Nation
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 00:45:00 -
[55]
EVE Online. _____
Originally by: Tara'Quoya Rax Minmatar don't tank, Minmatar dodge.
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Neo Omni
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.25 00:49:00 -
[56]
An honest contract.
|

Doctor Penguin
Amarr Celestial Ascension Tenth Legion
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 01:05:00 -
[57]
Originally by: Giannamichaels Why is it hard to date a minmatar guy, because it starts with huggin but then they rapier
GROAN. ________________________________________________
http://eve.drome.nl/CaodCleaner/ Help make CAOD readable. |

Rystin Timbal
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 02:42:00 -
[58]
What do you call EVE in 5 years time?
WoW.
How many dev's does it take to make EVE a fair and balanced game?
Don't know, hasn't happened yet.
What's the difference between an interceptor and a falcon?
You can't interceptor your **** up a girl's ass.
|

Karrade Krise
Mid Knights
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 03:06:00 -
[59]
"Any intel guys?" "Yea, we got a couple of neuts afk in the station" "X for ambulation manhunt!"
======================
Fighting Concord is a lot like fighting Chuck Norris.
Either way it's just not going to end very well for you...
----------------------
3 men are sitting at a table. An Amarr, Caldari, and a Gallente.
A Minmatarr walks in to the room and regardless of updated clones they all automatically lose a million skillpoints each.
Terianna Eri > :( i wish i were as good a forum ***** as karrade |

Jack Light
Faction Fighters INC
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 03:07:00 -
[60]
Edited by: Jack Light on 25/04/2009 03:07:31 A Caldari, Minmatar, Gallente, and an Amarrian are all standing next to each other on top of a hill.(Or space station)
The Caldari person says "This is for my people" and jumps off the side of the hill.
The Gallente person says "This is for my people" and jumps off the side of the hill.
The Amarrian says "This is for my people" and grabs the minmatar person and throws that mother****er off the side of the hill.
|

Jack Light
Faction Fighters INC
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 03:09:00 -
[61]
Lots of great jokes here.
And claiming first on page 3
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ToTheCore
Angels. Unity Thru Aggression.
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Posted - 2009.04.25 06:42:00 -
[62]
How many Kenny members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to petition CCP to change it to Lightbulb Reloaded, three to do forum damage control and say that if another alliance had needed a lightbulb changed nobody would be complaining, and one to lose a titan to prove that they don't need a lightbulb to be the same as they were. ---
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Arenis Xemdal
Amarr Insidious Existence RAZOR Alliance
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 17:30:00 -
[63]
Originally by: ToTheCore How many Kenny members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to petition CCP to change it to Lightbulb Reloaded, three to do forum damage control and say that if another alliance had needed a lightbulb changed nobody would be complaining, and one to lose a titan to prove that they don't need a lightbulb to be the same as they were.
win
|

Fawkyou Pirates
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 18:22:00 -
[64]
Edited by: Fawkyou Pirates on 25/04/2009 18:23:29
Originally by: Lendwill Edited by: Lendwill on 20/04/2009 19:58:28 What do you get when you cross Goonfleet with boredom?
Dead highsec miners.
The only funny thing about Goons besides how much you cry like little *****es is your k/d ratio.
Kills: 106,080 Losses: 186,368
Taken from BattleClinic killboard. GaySwarm and GayFleet = Epic Fail.
You guys suck old nasty Amarrian balls. =P
Edit : might as well throw the points on there too for extra lol
Points: Kills: 331,730 Loss: 623,866 Total: -628,178
lawl fgts
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 18:28:00 -
[65]
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates Edited by: Fawkyou Pirates on 25/04/2009 18:23:29
Originally by: Lendwill Edited by: Lendwill on 20/04/2009 19:58:28 What do you get when you cross Goonfleet with boredom?
Dead highsec miners.
The only funny thing about Goons besides how much you cry like little *****es is your k/d ratio.
Kills: 106,080 Losses: 186,368
Taken from BattleClinic killboard. GaySwarm and GayFleet = Epic Fail.
You guys suck old nasty Amarrian balls. =P
Edit : might as well throw the points on there too for extra lol
Points: Kills: 331,730 Loss: 623,866 Total: -628,178
lawl fgts
How can you tell when a player is monumentally jealous of the achievements of others?
By the smell of their bitter resentment in off-topic replies!
Badum-chish!
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

warpod
Amarr People Desintegration Project
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 18:30:00 -
[66]
What's the difference between a minmatar and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
How do you stop a minmatar from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a minmatar out of a tree? Cut the rope.
What do you call 50 minmatars at the bottom of the ocean? Good start.
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 18:34:00 -
[67]
What do you call ten Matari and one Amarrian?
Basketba ...
Wait.
Damn, that's one racist joke that doesn't port well.
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Fawkyou Pirates
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 18:52:00 -
[68]
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates Edited by: Fawkyou Pirates on 25/04/2009 18:23:29
Originally by: Lendwill Edited by: Lendwill on 20/04/2009 19:58:28 What do you get when you cross Goonfleet with boredom?
Dead highsec miners.
The only funny thing about Goons besides how much you cry like little *****es is your k/d ratio.
Kills: 106,080 Losses: 186,368
Taken from BattleClinic killboard. GaySwarm and GayFleet = Epic Fail.
You guys suck old nasty Amarrian balls. =P
Edit : might as well throw the points on there too for extra lol
Points: Kills: 331,730 Loss: 623,866 Total: -628,178
lawl fgts
How can you tell when a player is monumentally jealous of the achievements of others?
By the smell of their bitter resentment in off-topic replies!
Badum-chish!
Goons arent gonna set you blue for ridin their nuts. And btw I'm totally jealous of that sick kill / death ratio man 
|

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
|
Posted - 2009.04.25 19:49:00 -
[69]
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates Edited by: Fawkyou Pirates on 25/04/2009 18:23:29
Originally by: Lendwill Edited by: Lendwill on 20/04/2009 19:58:28 What do you get when you cross Goonfleet with boredom?
Dead highsec miners.
The only funny thing about Goons besides how much you cry like little *****es is your k/d ratio.
Kills: 106,080 Losses: 186,368
Taken from BattleClinic killboard. GaySwarm and GayFleet = Epic Fail.
You guys suck old nasty Amarrian balls. =P
Edit : might as well throw the points on there too for extra lol
Points: Kills: 331,730 Loss: 623,866 Total: -628,178
lawl fgts
How can you tell when a player is monumentally jealous of the achievements of others?
By the smell of their bitter resentment in off-topic replies!
Badum-chish!
Goons arent gonna set you blue for ridin their nuts. And btw I'm totally jealous of that sick kill / death ratio man 
Hahaha ... I don't know much about goons, but I don't like what I know. That said, your completely random nonesense post spoke more about your own inner feelings than your pretty pathetic attempt to slight me for calling you on it.
Hahahah ...
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Fawkyou Pirates
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Posted - 2009.04.25 20:03:00 -
[70]
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Hahaha ... I don't know much about goons, but I don't like what I know. That said, your completely random nonesense post spoke more about your own inner feelings than your pretty pathetic attempt to slight me for calling you on it.
Hahahah ...
Nonsense?... THIS IS FORUM!
You're dead to me. Your posts suck and your comprehension skills are lacking. I will no longer read or reply to any of your posts. Good day sir.
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Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
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Posted - 2009.04.25 20:20:00 -
[71]
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Hahaha ... I don't know much about goons, but I don't like what I know. That said, your completely random nonesense post spoke more about your own inner feelings than your pretty pathetic attempt to slight me for calling you on it.
Hahahah ...
Nonsense?... THIS IS FORUM!
You're dead to me. Your posts suck and your comprehension skills are lacking. I will no longer read or reply to any of your posts. Good day sir.
You've just made my day.   
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Fawkyou Pirates
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Posted - 2009.04.25 20:22:00 -
[72]
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Hahaha ... I don't know much about goons, but I don't like what I know. That said, your completely random nonesense post spoke more about your own inner feelings than your pretty pathetic attempt to slight me for calling you on it.
Hahahah ...
Nonsense?... THIS IS FORUM!
You're dead to me. Your posts suck and your comprehension skills are lacking. I will no longer read or reply to any of your posts. Good day sir.
You've just made my day.   
Posting to confirm that I did not read or reply to this.
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Quantar Raalsken
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.25 21:55:00 -
[73]
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Originally by: Fawkyou Pirates
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Hahaha ... I don't know much about goons, but I don't like what I know. That said, your completely random nonesense post spoke more about your own inner feelings than your pretty pathetic attempt to slight me for calling you on it.
Hahahah ...
Nonsense?... THIS IS FORUM!
You're dead to me. Your posts suck and your comprehension skills are lacking. I will no longer read or reply to any of your posts. Good day sir.
You've just made my day.   
Posting to confirm that I did not read or reply to this.
correct response is "I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!" ======= Homeworld Hamachi Network
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Killiashandra Ree
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Posted - 2009.04.25 23:23:00 -
[74]
Exhumers level V
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Bestofworst
Gallente Thukk U
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Posted - 2009.04.25 23:27:00 -
[75]
Originally by: warpod What's the difference between a minmatar and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
How do you stop a minmatar from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a minmatar out of a tree? Cut the rope.
What do you call 50 minmatars at the bottom of the ocean? Good start.
I feel bad for laughing. On that note:
What do you call a Minmatar in space? A problem
What do you call all of the Minmatar in space? A bigger problem (this is eve afterall)
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Quantar Raalsken
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.25 23:31:00 -
[76]
Originally by: Bestofworst
Originally by: warpod What's the difference between a minmatar and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
How do you stop a minmatar from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a minmatar out of a tree? Cut the rope.
What do you call 50 minmatars at the bottom of the ocean? Good start.
I feel bad for laughing. On that note:
What do you call a Minmatar in space? A problem
What do you call all of the Minmatar in space?
A bigger problem (this is eve afterall) Reason for Empress Jamyl to bring out the "i win button" that is that isogen-5 abby
fixed
======= Homeworld Hamachi Network
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Dr Axler
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2009.04.26 00:04:00 -
[77]
a long tyme ago, there was a thread with you mamma jokes.
Your momma's so fat, BoB anchored a POS at her.
Yo momma's so fat, they tried to load her up with a classic Dominix fit !
our momma's so fat, I saw Chribba locking the Veldnaught onto her!
Your momma so fat I could actually park my Phobos in her hangar bay.
Your momma's so ugly, Veto. paid her a ransom to get out of local.
Your momma's so fat, I've been shooting her for days and she's still not into structure!
Your momma so nasty, she makes deadspaces when she farts.
Yo momma so fat she lags lag.
Yo momma's so fat she needs a Cyno to get anywhere.
Yo mommas so fat her weight induces a webbing affect on all nearby ships.
Your momma's so fat that you need to warp 3 times to go from one side to her other. EVEN WITH Warp Core Rigs!!!
Your momma's such a ****, she's got a line outside her door longer than the Jita 4-4 undock point.
Your momma so big, if you nailed her foot to the floor you could call her an anchored large bubble.
Yo Momma so nasty she makes the Minmatar realize why they were happy to go into slavery in the first place. Horrible i know...
note: these were posted by other players (not by me) here
_________________________________________________
"nerf rock, paper is working as intended."
- Scissors |

Furrot
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Posted - 2009.04.26 01:46:00 -
[78]
Why did the capsuleer shoot the delivery man?
He forced him to POD!
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Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
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Posted - 2009.04.26 01:52:00 -
[79]
Originally by: Jack Light Edited by: Jack Light on 25/04/2009 03:07:31 A Caldari, Minmatar, Gallente, and an Amarrian are all standing next to each other on top of a hill.(Or space station)
The Caldari person says "This is for my people" and jumps off the side of the hill.
The Gallente person says "This is for my people" and jumps off the side of the hill.
The Amarrian says "This is for my people" and grabs the minmatar person and throws that mother****er off the side of the hill.
That's a damn good one, actually. 
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Vehestian
State Protectorate
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Posted - 2009.04.26 05:28:00 -
[80]
Q: What do you get with a system of 400+ during a war?
A:
A:...
A:......
A: station loading, evemail, notification of ship loss. hope you had fun. enjoy your pod.
We who are about to lag salut you! 0/ |
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CCP Mitnal
C C P

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Posted - 2009.04.26 20:33:00 -
[81]
Cleaned.
Off-topic posts removed.
Mitnal Community Representative CCP Hf, EVE Online Contact us |
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Lurana Lay
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.26 21:53:00 -
[82]
Edited by: Lurana Lay on 26/04/2009 21:53:48
Best/biggest EVE jokes ever: Missile sniping, Missiles outside of web range, Missiles vs anything not MWD'ing, Rail dps, Nighthawk grid, lolHawk. Oh yeah, lolRockets.
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Malvaceae Veri
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Posted - 2009.04.26 22:00:00 -
[83]
A little metal knowledge is required, but:
What do you call warping from belt to belt in Curse while listening to canadian metal?
Angel Ratting
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Xahara
StarFleet Enterprises StarFleet Federation
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Posted - 2009.04.26 23:50:00 -
[84]
Here's a funny one I found, not written by me:
Four guys are standing at an Outpost... a Galentean, an Amarrian, a Caldari, and a Matari... A news reporter comes up to the group and asks them: "Excuse me...What's your opinion on the meat shortage?" The Galentean says: What's a shortage? The Matari says: What's meat? The Caldari says: What's an opinion? The Amarrian says: What's "Excuse me"?...
:D
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Nooma Lar
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Posted - 2009.04.27 02:22:00 -
[85]
plumbing mission
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James Malice
Gallente Legion Of Mad Cats
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Posted - 2009.04.27 03:20:00 -
[86]
A gallente and a caldari are stuck in a wormhole together, neither have probes.
They both self destruct.
Har har har ---Sig Starts Here--- Look back uppon history, and realize that things we take for granted now as important aspects of the game were once looked down uppon as bad ideas. http://www.eveonline.com/ing |

Wu Jiaqiu
Minmatar Tenth Legion
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Posted - 2009.04.27 03:41:00 -
[87]
So an Amarr walks into a bar.
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Fairren
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Posted - 2009.04.27 06:48:00 -
[88]
Clearing out wormholes is a lot like real life. The goal is to get into a hole, do your business, and get out before the opportunity passes. And if you don't bring enough protection, dangerous organisms on the inside could kill you.
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Grek Forto
Malevolent Intentions
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Posted - 2009.04.27 06:52:00 -
[89]
Originally by: Fairren Clearing out wormholes is a lot like real life. The goal is to get into a hole, do your business, and get out before the opportunity passes. And if you don't bring enough protection, dangerous organisms on the inside could kill you.

Originally by: Stitcher It's "Caldari", not "Caldarians". One Caldari, three Caldari, all the Caldari are doing Caldari things using Caldari tools in a Caldari way.
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Digital Solaris
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Posted - 2009.04.27 07:25:00 -
[90]
Originally by: Fairren Clearing out wormholes is a lot like real life. The goal is to get into a hole, do your business, and get out before the opportunity passes. And if you don't bring enough protection, dangerous organisms on the inside could kill you.
 |

Mish'Kala
Minmatar FarSight Location and Recovery Services
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Posted - 2009.04.27 07:55:00 -
[91]
A Matari was peddaling his way along a lonely space trail late one evening. As the hours wore on he became tired and pulled his battered stabber in to a small space motel for the night. After agreeing that he would pay with actual money and not coloured beads, the hotel owner hands him a key.
'Enjoy your stay', he says, 'But what ever you do, dont open the hatch in the floor'
The Matari retires to his room, wondering what the owner could have meant. As he enters the room he sees the hatch, clearly marked, on the floor. Heeding the warning of the old man, he pulls the sheets off the bed and curls up in a corner (slave habits die hard). He tosses and turns for hours, with the old mans words ringing in his head. Eventually, curiosity gets the better of him.
With a cautious hand he pops the pressure lock on tha hatch and swings it open, revealing a ominous darkness beneath. Suddenly there is a burst of sound and motion and a Sleeper Drone springs forth from the dark portal.
The Matari screams (like a girl) and leaps out of the window, legs it across the car park to his ship and dives in to the pilot seat. As he pumps the choke and cranks the starter handle he can see the Sleeper smashing its way out of the window, its sensor cluster locked on him.
With a mighty roar the stabbers engines cough and splutter into life and the ship accelerates away leaving a small trail of rust and important sub components. The sleeper kicks in its engines and rockets after the fleeing matari.
Pushing his engines to the limit the Matari barrels across the system towards a jump gate. Gibbering to himself about how he should listen to people he punches the jump button and winks out, in to the next system. Seconds later the Sleeper appears a few KM off him. He slams the accelerator once again and heads for an asteroid belt.
He jumps ship, setting the Auto Pilot to another destination and takes refuge on a barren rock. As he peeks out from his hiding place he can see the sleeper probing around, slowly getting closer and closer and closer, until its huge metalic form looms over him, tentacles writhing. The matari closes his eyes expecting the end.
The sleeper reaches out with a tentacle, taps him on the shoulder and says
'You're it'
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Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
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Posted - 2009.04.27 07:58:00 -
[92]
The other day I passed a Matari as we were flying in Derelik. I saw that his ship only had one engine, so I flagged him down and pointed it out.
"I know mister," he said. "I found it two systems back!"
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Ruze Ahkor'Murkon
Amarr No Applicable Corporation
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Posted - 2009.04.27 08:05:00 -
[93]
A young Minmatar recently came home on vacation from his stint at the Republic Academy. His family was very proud of his achievements, and held a celebration in his honor. Afterwards, though, he found himself sitting on the porch with his father, an important decision on his mind.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?"
The young Brutor looks troubled. "Dad, I met a girl at school, and I think I love her."
"That's wonderful, son!" His father's elated, and gives his son a sound clap on the shoulder.
"But ... there's a problem." He pauses for several second, and his father patiently waits with concern for him to continue.
"Dad, she's a virgin."
He and his father spend several minutes in silence after that, a thoughtfull look on the old man's face. Finally, he speaks up.
"I know you love this girl, son. I can hear it in your voice. But the way I see it, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours ..."
Posts by Ruze Ahkor'Murkon and Ruze |

Maya Silverman
Knowledge Stick Station
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Posted - 2009.04.27 11:02:00 -
[94]
Originally by: Ruze Ahkor'Murkon A young Minmatar recently came home on vacation from his stint at the Republic Academy. His family was very proud of his achievements, and held a celebration in his honor. Afterwards, though, he found himself sitting on the porch with his father, an important decision on his mind.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?"
The young Brutor looks troubled. "Dad, I met a girl at school, and I think I love her."
"That's wonderful, son!" His father's elated, and gives his son a sound clap on the shoulder.
"But ... there's a problem." He pauses for several second, and his father patiently waits with concern for him to continue.
"Dad, she's a virgin."
He and his father spend several minutes in silence after that, a thoughtfull look on the old man's face. Finally, he speaks up.
"I know you love this girl, son. I can hear it in your voice. But the way I see it, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours ..."
EPIC!
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Borsek
Gallente A.A.A space weaponry and trade
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Posted - 2009.04.27 21:13:00 -
[95]
Is it just me or is every matari joke just done in notepad by replacing 'black'or'n word' with minmatar or matari?
Anyway, for good jokes: www.sickipedia.org I eat pie, then you die. |

James Lyrus
Lyrus Associates The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2009.04.27 22:08:00 -
[96]
What's the difference between a Gallente, and a sack of manure?
The sack.
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ShadowDraqon
The Quantum Company
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Posted - 2009.04.27 22:39:00 -
[97]
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
Curse you! You made me spew cookies and milk all over my desk! 
S ~ I ~ G ~ N ~ A ~ T ~ U ~ R ~ E
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Icutty Lotz
Infinity Enterprises Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2009.04.28 16:10:00 -
[98]
Stain cleanup mission
its old but its still funny
Originally by: CCP Eris Discordia What about me with red eyes and leather?
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Captain Campion
Synergy. Imperial Republic Of the North
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Posted - 2009.04.28 17:33:00 -
[99]
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I have your stuff?"
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AlienHand
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Posted - 2009.04.28 18:14:00 -
[100]
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
Pure win .... respect ;)
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Ptarmigent
Minmatar
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Posted - 2009.04.28 18:16:00 -
[101]
The Pan-Matari postal service have recently been forced to withdraw their Jamyl Sarum Commemorative stamps. Apparently, no-one knew which side to spit on.
Why does Devoid have Amarrians, but Curse has the Angel Cartel ? Curse got first choice.
If an Amarrian and a Caldari where drowning and you could only save one of them, would you A) Read the Forums or B) get Lunch ?

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. |

Pharago
Gallente Piratas Leprosos Guineanos Black Core Alliance
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Posted - 2009.04.28 18:43:00 -
[102]
Originally by: Ptarmigent The Pan-Matari postal service have recently been forced to withdraw their Jamyl Sarum Commemorative stamps. Apparently, no-one knew which side to spit on.
Why does Devoid have Amarrians, but Curse has the Angel Cartel ? Curse got first choice.
If an Amarrian and a Caldari where drowning and you could only save one of them, would you A) Read the Forums or B) get Lunch ?

i'm sorry lady, but this thread was about terrible eve jokes, not 3 good jokes in a row, next time mind your posting, will you?
         
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Andrea Griffin
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Posted - 2009.04.28 19:03:00 -
[103]
I would like to direct you to my Eve-Themed Russian Reversal thread. And yes, everyone who posted something on topic did get a reward between 100k and 250k.
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Astigmatic
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Posted - 2009.04.28 19:04:00 -
[104]
Originally by: AlienHand
Originally by: Astigmatic How many Eve Players does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000
1 to do it and the others to argue, whine and moan about how the last one was better.
Pure win .... respect ;)
I'm honoured. /bow
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Jarlath Whitbray
Eve University
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Posted - 2009.04.28 19:22:00 -
[105]
Originally by: Mish'Kala A Matari was peddaling his way along a lonely space trail late one evening....
Excellent write-up. 
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