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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Minmatar
Blood Inquisition
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Posted - 2006.09.25 16:21:00 -
[31]
 Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
What's the difference between an Amarrian and a Blood Raider?
One is a bloodthirsty hypocrite dedicated to nihilism, worshiping a font of eternal youth, killing in the name of a child-killing, slaver devil-god. The other's a Blood Raider.
Oh... dear... gods... 
Ahahahahaha, the laughter hurts! Oh dear, I can't take this any more...AHAHAHAHA! Excuse me... Gotta, ha ha ha, close comm
~~~~~
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Jean Daniels
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Posted - 2006.09.25 18:07:00 -
[32]
I'v got one.
Q: What do Caldari ship's and the colour gray have in common?
A:They're both really dull.
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Lucian Alucard
Caldari
Forsaken Empire
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Posted - 2006.09.26 08:03:00 -
[33]
Q.)Why don't Amarrian police ware bullet proof vests?
A.) They don't believe in using protection.
I would post more but they are all to explicite for "The Summit" .
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Darina Rea
True Core
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Posted - 2006.09.26 08:36:00 -
[34]
How many Sansha does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they just replace their eyes with see in the dark implants.
How many Angel Cartel does is it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, they are all at the bar at night anyway.
How many Gurista does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Only one, but he has to go steal it first. Perferbly out of some Caldari house.
How many Serpentis does it take to change a lightbulb?
- One, but he needs atleast five of six boxes of bulbs before he gets on in in one piece.
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Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
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Posted - 2006.09.26 15:21:00 -
[35]
q) what does a sebeistor family portrait look like?
a) a barcode
q) why don't you shoot a minmatar in a raven
a) it's probably your raven
q) what do you do if you see a minmatar jumping in the road with a leg missing
a) stop laughing and re-load
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Avery Badman
Amarr
Hounds Of War
Knights Of the Southerncross
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Posted - 2006.09.26 16:47:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Kehmor
A few more:
Q) What do you call a brutor in a suit?
A) The defendant
Q)Two Brutor and a sebeistor in a ship, whos flying it?
A) Concord
Q)Whats the difference between a table and a Brutor?
A)A table can support a family
q) what do you do if you see a minmatar jumping in the road with a leg missing
a) stop laughing and re-load
Kehmor WINS!
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BobFromMarketing
Amarr
Hadean Drive Yards
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Posted - 2006.09.27 00:42:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Kehmor
q) what do you do if you see a minmatar jumping in the road with a leg missing
a) stop laughing and re-load
That my friend is awesome.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
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Posted - 2006.09.27 16:53:00 -
[38]
So a Gallente and an Amarrian, both in the finest battleships money can buy, are testing out their new weapons in an asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid, but his blaster goes far wide of the mark and zings harmlessly off into space.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian frowns from within his pod, but says nothing.
So they move on to a different belt, and the Gallente once again targets an asteroid, and once again his particle cannons miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian, at this point, speaks up.
"Take the Lord's name again, and he himself shall strike you down!"
And yet again they move on to another asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid a scarce three kilometers away, but yet again his blasters, which cost more than most ships do, miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he screams.
At this point, a ripple begins to appear several kilometers to the starboard of the vessel. A rift in space, time and reason rips itself open and an unearthly light begins to flood into the universe. A beam of purest white energy shoots forth from the rift - and smashes through the Apocalypse the Amarrian is flying, killing him instantly.
And an almighty rumbling voice proclaims...
"Goddamnit, I missed"
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Azraelion Nerevar
Gallente
Just Exploit
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Posted - 2006.09.28 02:44:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
So a Gallente and an Amarrian, both in the finest battleships money can buy, are testing out their new weapons in an asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid, but his blaster goes far wide of the mark and zings harmlessly off into space.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian frowns from within his pod, but says nothing.
So they move on to a different belt, and the Gallente once again targets an asteroid, and once again his particle cannons miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian, at this point, speaks up.
"Take the Lord's name again, and he himself shall strike you down!"
And yet again they move on to another asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid a scarce three kilometers away, but yet again his blasters, which cost more than most ships do, miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he screams.
At this point, a ripple begins to appear several kilometers to the starboard of the vessel. A rift in space, time and reason rips itself open and an unearthly light begins to flood into the universe. A beam of purest white energy shoots forth from the rift - and smashes through the Apocalypse the Amarrian is flying, killing him instantly.
And an almighty rumbling voice proclaims...
"Goddamnit, I missed"
Ahhhaha, that was amazing! |
Jack Quadros
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.09.28 05:58:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Azraelion Nerevar
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
So a Gallente and an Amarrian, both in the finest battleships money can buy, are testing out their new weapons in an asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid, but his blaster goes far wide of the mark and zings harmlessly off into space.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian frowns from within his pod, but says nothing.
So they move on to a different belt, and the Gallente once again targets an asteroid, and once again his particle cannons miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian, at this point, speaks up.
"Take the Lord's name again, and he himself shall strike you down!"
And yet again they move on to another asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid a scarce three kilometers away, but yet again his blasters, which cost more than most ships do, miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he screams.
At this point, a ripple begins to appear several kilometers to the starboard of the vessel. A rift in space, time and reason rips itself open and an unearthly light begins to flood into the universe. A beam of purest white energy shoots forth from the rift - and smashes through the Apocalypse the Amarrian is flying, killing him instantly.
And an almighty rumbling voice proclaims...
"Goddamnit, I missed"
Ahhhaha, that was amazing!
Another modified remnant of our heritage, I assume... but here's one in the vein of the "You might be a Minmatar if..." jokes...
"If your railguns have been modified to the point that they use spent Quafe cans for ammunition, you might be a Minmatar."
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Elphy
Minmatar
Norfolk and Clue Security Services
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Posted - 2006.09.28 12:52:00 -
[41]
If every week when the rubbish men come you need to rush out and get them to stop putting your ship in the back of the rubbish truck you might be Minmatar
------------------------------------------------------
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Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Minmatar
Blood Inquisition
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Posted - 2006.09.28 15:14:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Kehmor
q) what does a sebeistor family portrait look like?
a) a barcode
q) why don't you shoot a minmatar in a raven
a) it's probably your raven
q) what do you do if you see a minmatar jumping in the road with a leg missing
a) stop laughing and re-load
Haha, I might be matari, but I appreciate a good joke 
Hey Kehmor, hear about that Deteis ice production corporation? I think they had to stop production...
...the woman who knew the recipe died.
~~~~~
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Siva She
Amarr
Order of the Blessed Sisters of Amarr
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Posted - 2006.09.28 16:25:00 -
[43]
An Amarrian Priest, a Minmatar Shaman, and a Gallente Mystic were all attending the funeral of a mutual friend that had died.
As the three of them stood around the open grave, the Minmatar Shaman took out 100isk in hard currency and tossed it into the grave. "It is a custom among my people to send the dead off with some money, that they have no debts in the afterlife." she said.
The Gallente Mystic, not to be outdone, stepped up. "What a noble custom. Of course I will contribute, to honor our friend." And he, too, threw in 100isk in hard currency.
The Amarrian Priest nodded. "I, too, will follow suit." Whereby the Priest took out his datapad, printed out a credit voucher for 300isk, tossed it into the grave, and took out 200isk for his change.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
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Posted - 2006.09.28 16:36:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Andreus Ixiris on 28/09/2006 16:38:26
What do you call a Civire in a library?
The janitor!
What do you call an Achura with a speech impediment?
An Achura!
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Faraelle Brightman
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Posted - 2006.09.29 07:50:00 -
[45]
How many pirates does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Who cares, we ain't letting them get their filthy hands on it!
Ok, I tried. 
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Ozawi
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.09.29 15:45:00 -
[46]
Q: How do you get a Brutor away from your front door?
A: Pay for the pizza.
Q: What did the Brutor get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.
Q: How can you tell that the stabilizers are working on a Brutor's ship and keeping it level?
A: Drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.
------------------------------------------------
This sig is mine. There are others like it, but this one is mine alone. Mods keep out, or I will drop trou and sprinkle some tinkle in your Cheerios!
-I don't eat Cheerios. -ReverendM |
Kindakrof
Caldari
Cruor Frater
Coalition of Carebear Killers
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Posted - 2006.09.29 22:57:00 -
[47]
How many carebears does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to haul and one to screw.
--- --- ---
my sig is pr0
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Arron S
Gallente
Rampage Eternal
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Posted - 2006.09.30 00:23:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Jenny Spitfire
Q. What do you call a slave without a Master?
A. Minmatar.
A. Arron S^^
Gah! |
Siva She
Amarr
Order of the Blessed Sisters of Amarr
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Posted - 2006.09.30 06:28:00 -
[49]
What's hard, covered in spikes, 1500km long, and has an IQ of 40?
... a Sansha convoy.
A Blood Raider returns to his base and his face and hands are all covered in blood. As he lays down to try to get some sleep, the other Blood Raiders smell the blood on him and start crowding around him. "Where did you find your victim? We want some too!" He tries to dismiss them but they were insistant, so excited by the blood stains on his face and clothes. "Where did you get your blood?" they demand. So, the first Blood Raider sighs and says, "Fine, come with me." They all climb into their ships and fly out to a nearby asteroid belt. The Blood Raider points and says to the others, "You see that hollow asteroid over there?" The others nod, "Yeah." And the first one says, "Well, I didn't!"
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Milera
Gallente
Elite United Corp
Antigo Dominion
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Posted - 2006.10.01 04:23:00 -
[50]
Q: How do the Minmatar make their ships?
A: They drag a magnet through a junk-yard.
Q: How do the Gallente design their ships?
A: They look for something that uses batteries.
Q: Why do Caldari spend so much repairing their ships?
A: Ever wonderdered whether all those little spires break off? Now you know.
Q: How does the Amarr Empire design their ships?
A: They look for the nearest bird.
Q: How do the Jove design their ships?
A: We'll tell you as soon as we see one.
-------------------------------------------------
Through war we eliminate the weak, through war we develop technology, through war we hone our skills. Is it not a surprise that those who fight are s |
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Luna Rossa Corporation
The Guardian Coalition
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Posted - 2006.10.01 17:52:00 -
[51]
I was certain that Gallente ships were created by congealing molten metal into the least symmetrical mould that could be found. I mean, I love my nation, but seriously, do my people have some irrational phobia of making things aerodynamic and equally-balanced?
I swear to the Almighty, the Brutix is the only symmetrical ship in the entire fleet. And don't even get me started on the Imicus...
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Righteous Evil
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Posted - 2006.10.01 21:14:00 -
[52]
Why do Amarr slaver hounds always lick their ass?
To get the taste of Minmitar out of their mouth.
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Natalcya Katla
Aliastra
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Posted - 2006.10.02 01:49:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
I swear to the Almighty, the Brutix is the only symmetrical ship in the entire fleet.
The Vexor is symmetrical. As are all the varieties of the Iteron.
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Warrio
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Posted - 2006.10.02 10:49:00 -
[54]
I've got an Amarr joke;
PvP in an Apoc. Hohoho.
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Eno Matterre
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Posted - 2006.10.02 13:14:00 -
[55]
How do Minmatar engineers buld their ships? Same as everybody else, the problem is they always forget to strip the scaffolding before launch. ;) |
Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2006.10.03 12:16:00 -
[56]
How many Ammatar does it take to tile a laboratory?
Depends how thinly you slice them.
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
"That looks interesting... Let's nick it! |
Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
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Posted - 2006.10.03 14:33:00 -
[57]
Whats better than ten Amarrians in a room?
One Amarrian in ten rooms
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Nikolai Nuvolari
Caldari
Gilead's Bullet
Kimotoro Directive
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Posted - 2006.10.03 16:00:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Natalcya Katla
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
I swear to the Almighty, the Brutix is the only symmetrical ship in the entire fleet.
The Vexor is symmetrical.
No it's not. Have you ever actually seen one up close?
--------------------- Originally by: Herko Kerghans
Nik = win. Period.
Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
byahahahahaha!11 Sig Pwnt - Immy |
Neenerian
Amarr
Sector 7
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Posted - 2006.10.03 18:34:00 -
[59]
Edited by: Neenerian on 03/10/2006 18:34:24
What are green and brown, and only travel in groups of two or three?
Minmatar teeth. 
-------
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Elrianmk2
Gallente
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2006.10.03 22:25:00 -
[60]
not bad some of these may actually make it to the comedy club's, im sure i could find a sponsor for any applicatnts to get into the entertainment industry
-----
If it wasnt for bad luck i would have no luck at all
The only certainties are death and taxes.
Edit: and the nerfing of my pic :/ |
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