| Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 :: one page |
|
|
| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Neenerian
Amarr
Sector 7
   |
Posted - 2006.09.21 14:44:00 -
[1]
How do you get a Minmatar out of the bathtub?
Throw in a bar of soap.
|
Jenny Spitfire
Caldari
|
Posted - 2006.09.21 17:57:00 -
[2]
Q. What do you call a slave without a Master?
A. Minmatar.
---------
Cruelty is God's way of showing kindness and God is kind.
|
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.09.21 18:56:00 -
[3]
I've got a better idea.
Q. What's tragic about an Amarrian dying in a shuttle crash?
A. A shuttle can hold at least twenty of them.
|
Arushia
TEK Inc.
R i s e
|
Posted - 2006.09.21 20:10:00 -
[4]
The best I've heard is "People call me a slaver. But really, I love Minmatar, I think everybody should own one."
I forget who on galnet said it though.
|
Leon 026
Caldari
Blood Inquisition
|
Posted - 2006.09.21 20:12:00 -
[5]
When your navigation systems fail, get the squatting Matari family in your cargo sector to get out the airlock and push. Damn immigrants.
-------------------------------
[ 2006.06.22 04:28:01 ] Leon 026 > My Crow dances like she's on ecstasy |
Takitoo
|
Posted - 2006.09.21 22:55:00 -
[6]
This Brutor with a huge pimple on his head walks into a bar. The barkeep says: "Hey, buddy. Where'd ya get that ?"
The pimple says: "Pator. Hygiene is horrid there."
___________________________
|
Ryas Nia
Minmatar
Stormriders
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 05:07:00 -
[7]
welcome to eve choose your difficulty
easy
harder
hardest
minmatar
______________________
What happens to a True Amarr when he eats at a self serve buffet?
He starves!
______________________
what happens when a light goes out in the Emporers studdy?
First a commission is setup to figure out who's fault it was. There is an investigation into the manufactuers religious fealty. An apointment is made to find a replacement light. The commission contracts out to determin if the light is the "true light" and fit for the emperor. There is a cosntest of power to see which house gets to provide the light... and in the end a Caldari contractor is called in to finaly buy a bulb and replace it.
|
Shintoko Akahoshi
Omerta Syndicate
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 07:31:00 -
[8]
How many Minmatar does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, darkness is symbolic of the struggle for their people.
How many Amarrans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, if he owns a whip.
How many Caldari does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. Caldari do not screw, they are grown in factories.
How many Gallente does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just one, to hold up the light bulb, while the rest of the world revolves around them.
The Red Mom of WarÖ
|
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 07:52:00 -
[9]
You still use light bulbs? Primitive.
So anyway, a Caldari and a Gallente get thrown off of a skyscraper, which one hits the ground first?
Neither. The Caldari had to get an authorisation form signed in triplicate to be allowed to reach terminal velocity and the Gallente was too busy forming a pressure group against gravity.
|
Jalia Kovac
Placid Reborn
Placid Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 13:52:00 -
[10]
Q. How many Intaki does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. The Intaki will wait for the lightbulb to be reborn.
► ► Placid Reborn Headquarters ◄ ◄ |
|
|
Idaeus
Gallente
Earned In Blood
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 14:35:00 -
[11]
 Originally by: Jalia Kovac
Q. How many Intaki does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. The Intaki will wait for the lightbulb to be reborn.
♥
+IOI? |
Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 16:20:00 -
[12]
Q) a Brutor, a Sebeistor, and a Verekior all start flying towards the sun from the same point at the same speed. Who wins?
A) Society
As for lightbulbs:
How many Matari does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are too busy avenging the last one.
How many Gallente does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes over two years for them to decide which type to get.
How many Caldari does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, its more cost effective to move to another room.
How many Amarrians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they are still punishing the last one for turning to darkness.
|
Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 16:23:00 -
[13]
A few more:
Q) What do you call a brutor in a suit?
A) The defendant
Q)Two Brutor and a sebeistor in a ship, whos flying it?
A) Concord
Q)Whats the difference between a table and a Brutor?
A)A table can support a family
|
Rhuu
Gallente
Es and Whizz
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 16:37:00 -
[14]
Two Caldari walk into their corporation's bar for a little bit of R&R before heading home. After sipping their drinks for a few minutes in silence, the first Caldari turns to the other, says, "Hello."
The second Caldari, in the middle of sipping his drink, efficiently finishes his sip, mechanically places his glass back on the bar, turns to the other, blinks once, and says, "Hello."
They then exchange business cards and go back to sipping in silence.
***
Two Gallente walk into a bar.
Everybody's memories of the event tend to get hazy after that. There were at least five reports, though, of a naked dwarf appearing out of nowhere and without a sound in an explosion of color--one person claims it was actually a beautiful woman, this claim is dismissed due to said person claiming that he made out with this beautiful woman. There were also claims of people spontaneously breaking out into agrarian activities, and laughing quite happily as if they were enjoying themselves.
It is probably best that no one knows what actually happened.
***
Two Amarrians walk into a bar carried on the backs of two strong Brutors. The Amarrians discuss galactic politics, trade, and the glory of God. This goes on for hours, while the slave-mounts are left at their liesure. Eventually the conversation turns to the disdainfulness and immorality of drinking establishments and both of the Amarrians try to get up and leave, only to find that their Brutors are passed out. They try to leave without their slaves but soon realize, to their alarm, that they've forgotten how to walk.
|
Kiyirari
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 19:08:00 -
[15]
Q. Whats the difference between an Amarrian and a Minmatar ?
A. Minmatar can wipe their own bottom.
Revenge is my god and my guns are her angels |
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.09.22 20:49:00 -
[16]
So an Amarrian walks into a bar... but it's quite obviously someone else's fault.
|
Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
|
Posted - 2006.09.23 01:18:00 -
[17]
I'm actually starting to get a bit offended as I ahve a Brutor on my family tree....
Still hanging there.
|
Luigi Thirty
Caldari
|
Posted - 2006.09.23 19:20:00 -
[18]
Minnie slave walks into a bar.
He gets whipped for smudging the wax job.
----
This is a sig. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Shaemell Buttleson
Euphoria Released
Euphoria Unleashed
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 02:51:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
You still use light bulbs? Primitive.
So anyway, a Caldari and a Gallente get thrown off of a skyscraper, which one hits the ground first?
Neither. The Caldari had to get an authorisation form signed in triplicate to be allowed to reach terminal velocity and the Gallente was too busy forming a pressure group against gravity.
As long as they both hit the ground who gives a sh1t! 
|
Nerf Caldari
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 03:48:00 -
[20]
Q. An Ammar, Minmatar and a Caldari jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first?
A. Who cares?
This sig is in desperate need of some CCP love! |
|
|
Nolin Riis
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 03:49:00 -
[21]
I once met a man from Amarr
In the stangest of places - a bar
He told some minmatar jokes
To the wrong kind of folks
With clever uses of feathers and tar
|
Violet Ju'wien
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 11:51:00 -
[22]
I find most of these jokes horrendous. Mr Kehmor is particularly enthusiastic about his ridicule of a people who have fought their entire lives for freedom.
But humour is relative, so here's one of my favourites:
Quote:
A Gallente walks into a downtown bar in Pator and addresses the crowd,
"Guys! I've got some great Civire jokes!"
One stocky, broad-chinned man in the corner gets up,
"I think I should warn you, I'm Civire."
To which the Gallente replied,
"Don't worry, I'll tell them slowly!"
-----
"Boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past"
|
Cipher7
Dark and Light inc.
D-L
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 16:13:00 -
[23]
The greatest joke is how the Amarr Empire is having trouble subjugating us "savages."
Hint : When the "inferior races" are kicking your butt, you're the inferior race.
|
Britannica
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 17:32:00 -
[24]
Q; what do you call a 4 foot ammarian who insults a 7 foot free Brutor?
A: wallpaper
|
|
Suvetar
Forum Moderator
Interstellar Services Department
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 18:22:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Shintoko Akahoshi
How many Minmatar does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, darkness is symbolic of the struggle for their people.
How many Amarrans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, if he owns a whip.
How many Caldari does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. Caldari do not screw, they are grown in factories.
How many Gallente does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just one, to hold up the light bulb, while the rest of the world revolves around them.
How many Jovians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, theres not enough room in there 
|
|
Mark Wallen
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 21:17:00 -
[26]
4 admirals went to a battle against one another.
The Gallente simply sent a swarm of drones to do his work for him.
The Amarr sent tens of thousands of poeple up against the drones and gets them all killed.
The Caldari wanted to stick so many missles on his ships they were 3 days late for the battle.
But the Minmatar admiral didnt make it at all because his ships glue melted.
|
Neenerian
Amarr
Sector 7
|
Posted - 2006.09.24 22:33:00 -
[27]
If your ship has a Calvin peeing on "Amarr" sticker on it...
you might be a Minmatar.
-------
|
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Galactic Express
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.09.25 09:04:00 -
[28]
Edited by: Andreus Ixiris on 25/09/2006 09:10:31
How many Ammatars does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They beg the Ammarians to do it for them.
What's the difference between an Amarrian and a Blood Raider?
One is a bloodthirsty hypocrite dedicated to nihilism, worshiping a font of eternal youth, killing in the name of a child-killing, slaver devil-god. The other's a Blood Raider.
|
Neenerian
Amarr
Sector 7
|
Posted - 2006.09.25 13:31:00 -
[29]
If your pod has a gun rack on it...
you might be a Minmatar.
-------
|
Kailea Shandrasekkar
Caldari
Tsurokigaarai
Kimotoro Directive
|
Posted - 2006.09.25 15:09:00 -
[30]
Some factionalist jokes i heard from a Kaalakiota representative, regarding the Practicals:
- A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing."
- A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
- A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
- A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
Haak-kin k'len. |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 :: one page |
| First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |