| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 :: one page |
| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Dirtybones
Minmatar
   |
Posted - 2006.10.17 21:21:00 -
[91]
Edited by: Dirtybones on 17/10/2006 21:22:09
Edited by: Dirtybones on 17/10/2006 21:21:37
Well we all know how superior the Amarr technology was when they conqured Pator back in the day. This little tid bit is from that time and has been passed down from generation to generation of slaves. It sort of keeps things in perspective I think.
One day about two hundred years ago, a pair of Amarr slavers were on Matar tracking a Minmatar fugitive when they came upon some tracks.
The first slaver raised his hand to alert his fellow.
"Look there, I would say those were definatly Brutor tracks."
The second slaver dissagreed.
"No, those are animal tracks, see how they are laid out?"
"No, I dont think so. These are Brutor tracks!"
"They are not. These are animal tracks I tell you!"
"Brutor tacks!"
"Animal tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
"It ain't over 'til it's over, and maybe not even then." |
Faraelle Brightman
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 00:27:00 -
[92]
Now I *like* Minmatar, but...
What do you get when you meet a pirate in a Rifter?
A pirate, if you're feeling merciful.
|
Atandros
Gallente
Tabula Rasa Systems
The Star Fraction
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 02:19:00 -
[93]
 Originally by: Lygos
Q: How many Fractionists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to start bulb in its "revolution," two to launch a bombing campaign against the bulb as a symbol of state oppression, and 39 to start a self help group to persuade light bulbs every where that they shouldn't obey oppressive institutions such as light bulb fittings but should otherthrow the electricity dictatorship and form a free society where all electrical appliances can live in non exploitative harmony with their comrades in the class struggle, the calculators.
Hahahaha. Made my evening.
-------
Creativity and a state-of-the-art arsenal are an unbeatable combination. |
Maud Dib
Caldari
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 12:26:00 -
[94]
Originally by: Bad Harlequin
Thanks Garr. It's good to be back.
Originally by: Lygos
Q: How many Fractionists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to start bulb in its "revolution," two to launch a bombing campaign against the bulb as a symbol of state oppression, and 39 to start a self help group to persuade light bulbs every where that they shouldn't obey oppressive institutions such as light bulb fittings but should otherthrow the electricity dictatorship and form a free society where all electrical appliances can live in non exploitative harmony with their comrades in the class struggle, the calculators.
And i think i'm in love. 
all i can say to the above is
Welcome back old friend. Good to see you back in the cluster.
|
Shanaya Venn
Caldari
Racing Turtle Enterprises
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 16:50:00 -
[95]
Edited by: Shanaya Venn on 18/10/2006 16:53:33
A Caldari, a Gallentean, an Amarrian and a Minmatar are touring a planet on a diplomatic mission. Suddenly, the aircraft they are in starts to rattle and shake and then plunge groundwards.
"This is an emergency!" shouts the pilot over the intercom. "We have to lighten the load, or we're going down!"
Without hesitation, the Caldari steps to the fuselage door and flings it open. Battered by the slipstream, he stands in the doorway. "Long live the State!" he cries, and jumps from the plane.
Not to be outdone, the Gallentean moves quickly to the door. "For the glory of the Federation!" he declares, and jumps from the plane.
The Amarrian is equally quick to act. Swiftly he lifts the Minmatar overhead. "For the Empire!" he shouts, and throws the Minmatar from the plane.
|
Darion Kell
Valley Forge
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 19:03:00 -
[96]
An Ammarian commander arrived at the aftermath of a pirate raid and saw a small group cleaning up the mess. Curious as to the large number of frozen corpses and general destruction in the area, he asked one of the other pilots what happened.
The pilot explained, "A slaver convoy was attacked. We just finished jettisoning all of the bodies from the transports."
"Sounds pretty nasty," the commander replied. "Those slaves would have brought in a decent amount of money back in the home worlds. Were all of them dead?"
The pilot nodded sadly and said, "Some of them said they weren't, but you know how those Matari lie."
|
sherbert lemon
|
Posted - 2006.10.18 20:18:00 -
[97]
Originally by: Andreus Ixiris
So a Gallente and an Amarrian, both in the finest battleships money can buy, are testing out their new weapons in an asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid, but his blaster goes far wide of the mark and zings harmlessly off into space.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian frowns from within his pod, but says nothing.
So they move on to a different belt, and the Gallente once again targets an asteroid, and once again his particle cannons miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he yells. The Amarrian, at this point, speaks up.
"Take the Lord's name again, and he himself shall strike you down!"
And yet again they move on to another asteroid field. The Gallente takes aim at an asteroid a scarce three kilometers away, but yet again his blasters, which cost more than most ships do, miss their target.
"Goddamnit, I missed!" he screams.
At this point, a ripple begins to appear several kilometers to the starboard of the vessel. A rift in space, time and reason rips itself open and an unearthly light begins to flood into the universe. A beam of purest white energy shoots forth from the rift - and smashes through the Apocalypse the Amarrian is flying, killing him instantly.
And an almighty rumbling voice proclaims...
"Goddamnit, I missed"
*claps*, you managed to watch 1 episode of the vicar of dibley and edit it, but what the heck, its still dang funny.
/me laughs
leemoonn
|
Damir36
Gallente
PPN United
Against ALL Authorities
|
Posted - 2006.10.19 08:29:00 -
[98]
Why are Minmatar Ships so easy to repair?
Well, Duct-tape can be bought everywhere!
:-)
GrnŻe
Damir
Signature removed due to incorrect size (400X120px and 24000 bytes). Please review the forum rules or e-mail us with any questions. You can view you signature here - Petwraith
Beware: German Link! :-)
Deutschsprachige Piloten gesucht! |
Arushia
Nova Inc.
|
Posted - 2006.10.20 22:47:00 -
[99]
Originally by: Lygos
Q: How many serious icelandic Bj÷rk fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Bathtub full of powercords with sprinkles.
Are "icelandic Bj÷rk fans" a new heatsink technology? Or must I perform percussive maintenance on my translator unit?
|
Strikeclone
Caldari
Starscreamers
|
Posted - 2006.10.21 01:08:00 -
[100]
Edited by: Strikeclone on 21/10/2006 01:09:15
Q: what do you call a group of angry minmatar with no master, adrift in the world
A: Rogues
Tip: Think about it 
Strikeclone
High chief Pombear.
Head of Navel intellygence.
Defender of the enourmous manhood.
Starscreamers |
Sabahl
Minmatar
Shinra
Lotka Volterra
|
Posted - 2006.10.23 10:58:00 -
[101]
Q. Why do Brutors wear sunglasses all the time?
A. So would you if you had all these jokes being told about you.  |
Smagd
Encina Technologies
Namtz'aar k'in
|
Posted - 2006.10.23 12:23:00 -
[102]
Edited by: Smagd on 23/10/2006 12:24:53
Edited by: Smagd on 23/10/2006 12:24:05
An Amarrian father, seeing his daughter dressing up for the celebrations of a friend's holdership inauguration ceremony, warns her:
"My daughter: Be wary of the young men at the ensuing party! There's bound to be a young man offering to bring you home, and then he can't get his autopilot to fly anywhere but his own home, and when you arrive and you ask for water, the only drink they'll have at home is spirits, and when you'll both have drunk a measure he's going to pounce upon you and stain your honor forever and soil the glory of the whole family! So be careful. Now go."
She leaves, and comes back only the next day with a big grin on her face. Worried, the father asks her what has transpired.
She answers:
"Well Daddy, thank you for the warning. It came in very handy. After the party, as you had predicted, a young man came and offered to bring me home, but his autopilot would only take him to his own place, and when I asked him for a drink, he only had spirits in the whole house, and after we drank a little of it I just remembered your warning in time! So I pounced upon him and stained his honor forever and soiled the glory of his whole family!"
--
|
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Luna Rossa Corporation
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.10.23 13:54:00 -
[103]
How many members of the Society of Conscious Thought does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It isn't the lightbulb that needs to change, but themselves.
|
Alaira DarkBlade
Caldari
Obsidian Watch
|
Posted - 2006.10.24 06:20:00 -
[104]
Originally by: Kehmor
q) what does a sebeistor family portrait look like?
a) a barcode
Q) What does a Sebeistor family portrait look llke?
A) A Concord Line-Up
Have you seen the new Minmatar Carrier? It has 13 gears, 12 that go backwards, and one that goes forwards incase they are attacked from behind.
Q) What is the difference between a Wyvern and a pile of dead Minmatar?
A) There is no Wyvern in my hanger
>-----------------------------------------------------<
The weak will forever be ruled by the Strong. This is inevitable.
|
Alaira DarkBlade
Caldari
Obsidian Watch
|
Posted - 2006.10.24 06:51:00 -
[105]
Q) What do you call a bunch of Minmatar running down a hill?
A) Jailbreak
Q) Why do Caldari use clear garbage bags?
A) So the Gallente can window shop
Q) What do you call a ship full of Minmatar?
A) A prison transport
Q) How do you kill a Minmatar?
A) Throw 1 isk out an airlock
Q) What do you get when you breed a Gallente with a Minmatar?
A) A theif who is to lazy to steal
Q) How do you start a Minmatar parade?
A) Throw a ISK down the road
Q) Where do hide money from a Brutor?
A) Under a bar of soap
I like Minmatar, i had some Minmatar friends till my dad sold them.
>-----------------------------------------------------<
The weak will forever be ruled by the Strong. This is inevitable.
|
Mookuh
|
Posted - 2006.10.25 16:31:00 -
[106]
Q: How many Jove does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: -classified-
|
Dirtybones
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2006.10.25 17:28:00 -
[107]
Why did the Caldari stop drinking Tea?
They couldnt figure out how to get all that boiling water into the little tea bag.
"It ain't over 'til it's over, and maybe not even then." |
Ashar KorAzor
Order of the Blessed Sisters of Amarr
|
Posted - 2006.10.25 21:37:00 -
[108]
A Caldari, a Gallente, a Matari, and an Amarrian were walking down the main drag of a Concord facility somewhere in Citadel, when a scruffy-looking hologram confronted them near the entrance to the only bar in-station.
"Excuse me," said the hologram in it's tinny voice, "I'm with the Scope, we're doing a public opinion poll about the meat shortage. Do any of you have time for a little input?"
The Matari said, "What's meat?"
The Caldari said, "What's a shortage?"
The Amarrian said, "What's public opinion?"
And the Gallente said, "What's 'excuse me'?"
|
Rilder
Caldari
black viper corp
|
Posted - 2006.10.26 04:58:00 -
[109]
How many "Black Rabbits" Capsulllers does it take to change a lightbulb
1 but as soon as the bulb is changed Elmer Fudd pops out of nowere and says its "Wabbit Season"
|
Lord Panther
Amarr
Black Nova Corp
|
Posted - 2006.10.30 19:32:00 -
[110]
A Minmatar walks into a bar for a quick drink.
Bartender: What will you have
Minmatar: An ale and make it quick I'm on the run from the Amarr.
Bartender: On the run huh. Do you have a plan.
Minmatar: Yes I am going to fly into the star in this system to hide there until the coast is clear.
Bartender: But you'll burn up if you do that!
Minmatar: No I won't. I'm going at night.
|
David Darkstar
Caldari
Coreli Corporation
Corelum Syndicate
|
Posted - 2006.11.01 00:47:00 -
[111]
I don't get all those Amarrians that hate Matari. Clearly they've never seen how good a hood ornament they make on my Raven.
|
Siren Shiva
Minmatar
Veto.
|
Posted - 2006.11.02 09:47:00 -
[112]
Two Amarrian admirals are getting dressed before a meeting. Suddenly, admiral A notices that admiral B is wearing a pair of very tight, frilly Gallentean knickers. He asks his mate since when he is wearing those.
Admiral B looks uncomfortable for a moment, then replies, 'Well, since my wife found them in my Armageddon's glove box...'
I don't know any Minmatar jokes, sorry.
Lyticus > I freaking hate you!
Siren Shiva > I love you too <3
Trey > Siren sounds like she could kick my ass on Vent
[vi |
Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Lucky Hydra Corp
The Guardian Coalition
|
Posted - 2006.11.02 11:34:00 -
[113]
Q. How many University of Caille graduates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but the case study will take three years.
Q. How many Heidon University graduates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, to say that the lightbulb is anything but totally functional is blasphemy!
Q. How many Republic University graduates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One, but the only available lightbulb just so happens to be in 0.1 sec space.
Q. How many Science and Trade Institute graduates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. The lightbulb is obviously not a productive member of society and thus there isn't any point in trying to change 'em.
|
Beletre
Gallente
|
Posted - 2006.11.02 15:05:00 -
[114]
An Amarr and Gallente are walking along the street, when the Amarr walks into a bar. The Gallente ducks under the bar and continues on his way.
|
Kindakrof
Caldari
Cruor Frater
Coalition of Carebear Killers
|
Posted - 2006.11.05 03:17:00 -
[115]
I heard that a Minmatar Chest wound is a drink :D
--- --- ---
my sig is pr0
|
Ottom Ephesianos
Amarr
Freelance Unincorporated
Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2006.11.09 18:18:00 -
[116]
Q: What's faker than a 2 isk Gallente credit?
A: A 3 isk Caldari credit.
---------------------------------
"Trust me I've done this before."
Elite R. Ephesianos
---------------------------------
|
Alowishus
Shadow Company
Alektorophobia
|
Posted - 2006.11.09 23:45:00 -
[117]
Q: What's the difference between an Intaki Hooker and a space onion?
A: I don't cry when I cut Intaki Hookers.
Q: How many Intaki babies does it take to paint my house red?
A: Depends on how hard I throw them.
Q: What do you call a room full of Intaki women with yeast infections?
A: A whine and cheese party!
The moderators here are excellent at policing signatures. |
Ottom Ephesianos
Amarr
Freelance Unincorporated
Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2006.11.11 16:37:00 -
[118]
Q: Whats the diference between a Gallente hooker and a Caldar hooker?
A: The Caldar hooker gets paid in plastic and the Galente hooker doesn't get paid at all.
Q: What does a pod pilot do when propositioned by a black rabbit pimp?
A: CALL IN THE MARINES!
---------------------------------
"Trust me I've done this before."
Elite R. Ephesianos
---------------------------------
|
Mr Reeth
|
Posted - 2006.11.12 13:13:00 -
[119]
Edited by: Mr Reeth on 12/11/2006 13:13:45
Q. What do you call 1000 Brutor floating dead in space?
A. A good start.
Q. Whats the difference between a Gallente s1ut and a Gallante Beetch?
A. A Gallante s1ut does everyone. A Gallante beetch does everyone but you.
Q. What do you get when you cross a Khandid with a Brutor?
A. A dead Brutor.
Q. How do you hide money from a Gallante?
A. Put it under his work boots.
Q. What did the Brutor boy get for his coming of age present?
A. My watch.
I feel dirty now... I must go meditate...
|
MrSlippyFist
Republic Military School
|
Posted - 2006.11.12 15:25:00 -
[120]
Q. How many caldari does it take to lose a home planet?
A. HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HAHAHA...........
Slippy when wet. |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 :: one page |
| First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |