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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Devilish Ledoux
Caldari
Naughty People
The Gurlstas Associates
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Posted - 2008.01.17 05:46:00 -
[181]
Three Caldari marines were sitting around a campfire on a training installation, swapping war stories.
The Deteis marine told a story about how his company had disembarked from a cruiser, boarded a Gallente battleship and, under heavy fire, overpowered the ship's defenders and taken control of the bridge.
The Achuran marine told a story about how his company had breached a hostile mothership and made their way to the bridge, where they killed the capsuleer captain and took control of the ship.
The Civire marine listened to their stories quietly, as he stirred the campfire with his ****.
_
Now Hiring Pirates, Anarchists and Terrorists. |
Shintoko Akahoshi
Omerta Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.01.17 08:34:00 -
[182]
Q: What do you call a useless guy hanging around a bunch of Minmatar?
A: A holder!
Q: How do you know if a holders throne is level?
A: The drool is coming out of both sides of his mouth!
Q: What did the holder get on his IQ test?
A: Drool!
Shin's writings
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Phoenicia
Black Sea Industries
Cult of War
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Posted - 2008.01.17 09:59:00 -
[183]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So that Caldari may live...
*badabumPSH*
Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please email [email protected] - Saint |
Mad Scorpion
Minmatar
Masuat'aa Matari
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.17 13:25:00 -
[184]
Edited by: Mad Scorpion on 17/01/2008 13:25:00
What's black, blue, red and squishy?
Mad Scorpion cra.cks his knuckles
Someone telling to many Brutor jokes.
Hehehe.......
Mad Scorpion |
Janu Hull
Caldari
Terra Incognita
Dark Matter Coalition
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Posted - 2008.01.21 17:17:00 -
[185]
IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY, ALL PASSENGERS ARE EXPECTED TO ASSIST IN THE APPLICATION OF DUCT TAPE.
-sign found on a Minmatar cruiser.
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Heretic Army
The Covenant Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.21 19:01:00 -
[186]
MirrorGod does not sleep. He waits.
MirrorGod does not warp. Planets and stargates move to him.
MirrorGod does not jump. He goes straight through.
MirrorGod does not dock. Stations are built and deconstructed around him.
MirrorGod does not mine. When he enters a belt, asteroids instantly reconfigure themselves, drive to a station and sell themselves on the market.
When MirrorGod uses laser cannons, they do kinetic and explosive damage as well.
Doomsday Devices are actually phones with MirrorGod's number on them.
The only known U-turn done while in warp was done roughly two months ago when CONCORD realised they were responding to a call-out on MirrorGod.
MirrorGod can bubble high-sec.
MirrorGod has a ninth hi-slot.
MirrorGod has a Tech 3 armour repairer.
MirrorGod can hull tank.
MirrorGod has trained Amarr Battleship 6.
MirrorGod can overload a Cloaking Device.
MirrorGod's only weakness is that he cannot use shields effectively, as errecting a deflector field big enough to contain all of his awesome was considered uneconomical.
The only thing that MirrorGod did not create is God. Whether God created MirrorGod is debateable.
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"I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." |
Atomos Darksun
Havoc Inc
Blood Blind
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Posted - 2008.01.23 03:14:00 -
[187]
I tried to salvage a Minmatar wreck for 10 minutes until he started firing at me.
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They've gone to PLAID!!
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Conlin
Gallente
Sarz'na Khumatari
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.24 09:17:00 -
[188]
Q: How many Amarrians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: FORNICATION! It's a sin to screw anywhere, even in light bulbs.
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Rakivic
Dynasty Corporation
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Posted - 2008.01.24 15:33:00 -
[189]
Q: What do you get if you put two drunken ship designers in a room?
A: The Raven (Symmetry be dammed)
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Becq Starforged
Minmatar Ship Construction Services
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.24 21:21:00 -
[190]
 Originally by: Rakivic
Q: What do you get if you put two drunken ship designers in a room?
A: The Raven (Symmetry be dammed)
Lies. The Raven (along with several other Caldari designs) are the result of a design methodology in which there are two designers (one for the left half, one for the right half) who never meet.
--
Becq Starforged
proprietor of Starforge Industries, a subsidiary of Minmatar Ship Construction Services
At Starforge Industries, the world of tomorrow is being blown apart today! |
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Mad Scorpion
Minmatar
Masuat'aa Matari
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.25 06:10:00 -
[191]
Originally by: Rakivic
Q: What do you get if you put two drunken ship designers in a room?
A: The Raven (Symmetry be dammed)
But then again you have the Drake. It's so symmetrical, it's boring to watch.
Mad Scorpion |
Dostillevi
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Posted - 2008.01.25 08:18:00 -
[192]
Edited by: Dostillevi on 25/01/2008 08:25:45
Edited by: Dostillevi on 25/01/2008 08:22:39
An Amarrian holder and his two Matari slaves die in a horrific accident while undocking from a station in Jita.
Soon after the three see giant pearly gates with a lone man standing guard. The first Matar whispers excitedly to the second, "look, these must be the gates to the afterlife. We're finally free!" The second grins and whispers back, "That man must be the gatekeeper, here to judge our lives. Finally our holder will get what he deserves for all those years of torture and cruelty."
"Indeed I am here to judge you," says the man, as he hears and knows all. "The worthy shall pass beyond these gates into bliss while the unworthy shall be cast down the dark road to oblivion." As he says this, a fiery and dark path appears next to the pearly gates.
"You," says the gatekeeper, and points to the Amarrian. "Step forward and be judged!" The look on his face is terrible, and the holder trembles as he steps forward. "Your life has been a mockery to all existence! Look at the pain and suffering you have caused! By your hand thousands have died, and you have relished in the anguish your actions hath wrought! Take comfort that there is no worse fate than oblivion or it would be yours. Begone!" And the flames on the path to oblivion leaped high.
"Aha!" shouts the first Matari, jumping in front of the terrified holder. "Justice at last. Tell us gatekeeper, what fate lies in store for us?"
The gatekeeper visibly calms as he reflects on the lives of the Matari. "Ah yes, you two have lived faithfully even under the heavy hand of this holder. You have suffered much and yet you have persevered. Your consciences are clean," he says, stepping back towards the pearly gates and assuming the silent reverie he had been in when the trio had arrived.
After a few seconds of silence the second Matari spoke up. "Is that it? Aren't you going to let us through the gates?"
Surprised to see the three still there, the gatekeeper glances down the long road to oblivion and then to the holder cowering off to the side. "You two didn't expect him to walk, did you?"
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente
Heretic Army
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Posted - 2008.01.25 12:00:00 -
[193]
Originally by: Mad Scorpion
But then again you have the Drake. It's so symmetrical, it's boring to watch.
The Dominix is symmetrical - but that just means it's equally ugly on both sides.
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"I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." |
Malcolm Gerhardt
Gallente
Arctic Fox Industries and Materials
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Posted - 2008.01.29 00:01:00 -
[194]
A Caldari and an Amarr and a Leprechaun walk ino a bar
The Leprechaun looks around and says "Damn, I'm in the wrong joke!"
Keep your Head low, Your Mind high and Your Mouth Shut |
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