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Noluck Ned
FATAL REVELATIONS FATAL Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 14:56:00 -
[31]
Originally by: Sokratesz Edited by: Sokratesz on 24/01/2007 12:05:27 Oh, the chronicles of TS. I love it.
The type i most hate (and have been myself in my early days) is the one that goes..
> Hostiles!! < Where? > Oh ****!! < Whats going on? > **** man im being killed < Where? > Someone help!!! < Dude where are you ...silence... 10 secs later: > Goddamn i just got killed
Ah you must mean: Lost in Spaceman
This breed can be more common than people tend to think. Best used as a scout somewhere far far down the pipe, provided he actually heads in the direction you send him. Make sure to teach this type to post his deathmails as soon as possible after he is killed as you are usually able to gain a lot more intel from him by this method.
F4T4L - Recruitment |

Dario Wall
Caldari Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2007.01.24 15:13:00 -
[32]
Originally by: Alski The Shy Guy. Has a headset, and Never says a word, will sit listening intently while coming up with all manner of plans showing absolutely insane tactical genius, but at best only passing them on though gangchat, more likely just preferring to rant in corp chat about how the current plan has us all doomed. Will perhaps speak once in a blue moon when given scout duty, and then sink back into obscurity when someone asks ôwho the **** was that?ö
That's me I have a headset with a mic, but I hardly ever use it. Most of the time after about 10-15 minutes with the headset on I forget that it's there, so I end up forgetting to use it.
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Klasper
x13 Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 15:15:00 -
[33]
Edited by: Klasper on 24/01/2007 15:11:36 The Kamikaze Guy "Leeeeeerooooooyyyyyyyyyy.....!!!!!!!"
Often mixed with:
The WhahahAHAHAa! Guy This guy's heart beats 297 times/minute, produces enough adrenaline during a battle to be able to ignore a rhino hitting him, he'll be screaming things as "KILL HIM!", "GET POINTS ON HIM FFS!" etc. and most importantly: You are in absolutely no doubt if he wins or loses the battle... (very often smack is involved when this guy is around) |

Ranger 1
Amarr Shiva Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2007.01.24 15:41:00 -
[34]
Stubbornly Drunk Man: This is the man who is normally a mild mannered, helpful individual. But on a regular schedule, most likely on Friday or Saturday nights, he tends to imbibe a bit too much alchohol and become the most stubborn and opinionated person in the galaxy. Usually this involves corporate or alliance politics, but can overflow into ship fittings, combat/fleet strategies, or internal (and supposedly secret) matters he is privy to. This behavior is often interspersed with dogged assertions as to how they would gladly sacrifice all that they have for the corp... because he "loves you guys".
The Silencer
This person, usually a fleet commander, takes the "quiet on teamspeak" rule to extremes and frequently drowns out or berates other fleet members. Unfortunately, this is sometimes includes his own scouts who may have cruicial intel they need to relay, forcing them to relay even time sensitve information in gang chat. This leads to messages like "Reporting entire enemy fleet warping to your location, outnumbering you 3 to 1. Should arrive shortly before you finish reading this damn message."
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Diicc Tater
Aggressive Tendencies Curse Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 15:42:00 -
[35]
You guys missed: Captain Obvious, or The Obvious Man.
This is the guy, that when in a fleet of 100+ pilots just have to state the obvious stuff like "Whooaaa, the lag is bad back here!", "I emergency warped", "There is a jump-queue here", "I got lag" (basically any comment on lag there is).
He constantly interupts the commands making it f-ing impossible for the rest of the fleet to follow orders.
The ChatterMonkey Crew: Usually only says: "Same here", "me too", "How do you remove blue ships from overview". Much to the same result as Captain Obvious.
The result of these above mentioned we have the Burst an Artery Man: Will as soon as the ChatterMonkeys and Captain Obvious get going get his freak on. He will by yelling very loud, using bad language and threats try to get things calm. (and I quote) "EVERYONE STFU, U BUNCHA G'DAMN NO0BS!!!! *coninued rant*". Wich results in a chourus of voices......and the artery bursts.
**Under Construction I guess** |

Shinji Seto
Minmatar Umbra Congregatio Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.01.24 15:44:00 -
[36]
HAHAHA Great thread! Always nice to have a good laugh with my morning cup of coffee.
"Outlaw" This was the name given to those who roam the universe with only his freedom as his guide. |

Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 16:11:00 -
[37]
Lol, how did I miss all the rest, particularly Captain Obvious.[:p |

Nicocat
Caldari New Age Solutions
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Posted - 2007.01.24 16:23:00 -
[38]
I know one of everyone here. =P ----------------------------
Originally by: Splagada SEED ME DADDY
WTB: Friggin' portrait |

Skraeling Shortbus
Caldari Gallente Federal Bank Ratel Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 16:44:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Apocryphai The Impenetrable Accent Man Has an accent so extreme that nobody, from anywhere, can understand a word he says. Applies to anyone from any country except your own of course.
combine that with drunk and hilarity ensues.
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DarkMatter
Amarr Mineral Aquisition Group
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:02:00 -
[40]
This is a great thread, so damn true!
Building the homestead |
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Avechi
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:03:00 -
[41]
Edited by: Avechi on 24/01/2007 17:00:14
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Kaligo
FinFleet
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:05:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Soporo Edited by: Soporo on 24/01/2007 16:27:47
Weird As Sh*t Man Also known as the Makes your S a c k Crawl Man, the Constant Perversion Man, or the Insonsiderate G a y lord. This man is plainly just weird. If he was a neighbor of yours you would lock your children up 24/7. You would sometimes fear for you pets, as well. You would also never cut your grass without wearing a shirt for fear that he would sweatilly abuse himself over pictures of you. Every comment this man(?) makes is sexually oriented and usually involves body parts best not spoken about. He believes that his strangeness is common and prevalent to everyone else, and the streaming barrage of perversion and g h e y inuendo is a constant assault on everyone psyche. You may have bad dreams after encountering this man. This man will likely die of some strange, uncurrable disease. I mean, if you can view another man's ass and see love, that's your buisness... but your scaring everyone else.
Most of our corp fits this description and there is nothing to be ashamed about...
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BLAIYNE
Shadow Play
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:08:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Sokratesz
> Hostiles!! < Where? > Oh ****!! < Whats going on? > **** man im being killed < Where? > Someone help!!! < Dude where are you ...silence... 10 secs later: > Goddamn i just got killed
And this usually finishes with the comment:
> Why the hell didn't anyone come and help me?!
Your signature is too large. Please see the Forum Rules for the limits - Serathu ([email protected])
"Forty leagues and forty seas of swirling vortices"
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Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:08:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Soporo on 24/01/2007 17:11:08
I never said it was shamefull, only was indicative of how it makes ME feel, and a buncha other heteros.
Regardless, you have missed an opportunity to add the Closed Minded H o m ophobe Man.
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hydraSlav
Synergy Evolved Serenity Fallen
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:13:00 -
[45]
Edited by: hydraSlav on 24/01/2007 17:09:57 Don't forget the Lives in his own world man (LIHOW for short). Gets completely absorbed in his own (most of the times out-of-game) activities and is completely oblivious to whats happening with everyone else in the channel
<during quiet time's useless conversation> LIHOW > that's an interesting point you make, i wonder what year it all started at.... Scout1 > hostiles incoming from next system Pvper1 > Get your ships! Everyone! Pvper2 > Undocking Scout1 > They are jumping in now! Pvper1 > What are the ship types? Quick LIHOW > Oh here it is.... Pvper1 > Who? Where? Pvper2 > Are you engaging? Where? LIHOW > According to Wikipedia, in 1940s *blah blah blah* Miner1 > *trying to speak over LIHOW* Help! I am attacked in ... *gets cut off* LIHOW > *cutting off the previous speaker* Oh! Did you know that in 1943.... Pvper1 > STFU LIHOW!!! Pvper2 > STFU FFS! LIHOW > screw you guys, you are all mean <gets utterly hurt and leaves channel/TS>
=================================== Above comments are my personal views
Originally by: Oveur Local shouldn't be a tactical tool, it's for chat
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Kweel Nakashyn
Minmatar Aeden Tau Ceti Federation
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:29:00 -
[46]
The Me I and Myself guy You can tell anything to this one, he'll start his replies by "Yes, but I"
The STFU cap'tain As normal FC tries to make just silence on the chan, this one can't tell it but by speaking loudly. The problem starts when he tries his STFU fatal methods against fleet's scouts.
The Lovebear Some are just carebears. Well this bear is the mother of all carebears. Searching friendship with anyone who listens him, making gifts, he's still in search for the group hug button at the moment.
The WTFBBQ-man This one hates everything. The game is broken, btw. The alliance also. CCP are bad game makers and everything is either an exploit or a bug.
The Veteran Been in G alliance in the good old times, been six times in Bob since the begining (actually Sir Molle still owns him his first cruser). This one have billions on his account but he doesn't know what to do with. Maybe craft the second Titan of his alt. Oh and the game suxx so much since the beta.
Mr Teacher Knows everything. He explored the whole galaxy, have seen the whole gameplay of Eve and learnt all the numbers of the module patch per patch. Handy, he got the logs of everysingle conversation he ever made.
The how do I guy Nobody knows him on TS, since he didn't knew you had to have a mic for it. Tries to plug the mic by unplugging his mouse, and whines on the corp chat.
Mister Smartdumb Don't be fooled by his name. This one is maybe a spy who tries to act like a dumb guy. Have some strange moments of pure genious so you'll never know.
The all-in-one Actually, he is the pupil of Mr Teacher or The Veteran. But fails at everything he tries. It's funny to listen to his failure. Mostly because at the start, it's a brillant idea (coming from his master). The only problem is the execution. -----
History is made by whinners |

Marcus TheMartin
Gallente Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:33:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Rex Everything Edited by: Rex Everything on 24/01/2007 13:19:40 The Forgot-To-Turn-Vent Off Before Watching 'Grumble Flicks' Man
Not an eve experience but from my TFC days, was still on vent after a game, most people had left chan/gone afk, few of us still left. The guy must of had his headset round his neck or something, and decided to extract a cheeky dollop of baby gravy, as all we heard was the fap-fap-fapping, with accompanying groans, for the next three minutes. Naturally, he was named and shamed at an appropriate lan party later ;-)
Edit for profanity filter!
   
This thread wins!
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Billy Sastard
Amarr Zephyr Enterprises Inc. Astral Wolves
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:37:00 -
[48]
The ones that bother me the most are; The guy who refuses to use PTT so we all have to listen to everything going on in his house. The guy who refuses to use PTT and has his speakers turned way up, so all the rest of the channel hears is echoes. The guy who uses PTT, but has to key the mic for every burp and whatever other noise hes making, do we really care to hear this? The guy who starts yelling for help yet never says where he is or who is attacking.
I think those are the biggest problems. Other than that, there is the constant problem where occasionally everyone will try to talk at once. -=^=-
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MIGHTYDWC
Gallente Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:42:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Ranger 1 Stubbornly Drunk Man: This is the man who is normally a mild mannered, helpful individual. But on a regular schedule, most likely on Friday or Saturday nights, he tends to imbibe a bit too much alchohol and become the most stubborn and opinionated person in the galaxy. Usually this involves corporate or alliance politics, but can overflow into ship fittings, combat/fleet strategies, or internal (and supposedly secret) matters he is privy to. This behavior is often interspersed with dogged assertions as to how they would gladly sacrifice all that they have for the corp... because he "loves you guys".
From the above, there are 2 variations I will apply here, although there are numerous variations besides the following.
The American Idol WannaBe Guy If he's your FC (GOD help us all), he relays his orders with a musical overtone. If he's not the FC, he likes to "hash" out his favorite song (which you can hear very loudly in the background), often displaying a severe case of Chronic Lyricosus (the substitusion of the actual words of a song for his own) followed by "Come on guys FEEL THE MUSIC".
The More isk than Lassie Can Jump Over Guy After hearing that someone just lost their ship on an ops, this guy is more than happy to proclaim " If...if he lost his ship I'll....I'll buy him another. I got a ****load of isk, I'll replace anyone's ship"
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Thorjak
Confederation of Red Moon Red Moon Federation
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Posted - 2007.01.24 17:45:00 -
[50]
Open mic Man
This man probably already has PTT enabled, but will regularly leave his microphone open without realising, allowing you to hear arguments with the rest of his family, whatever is on TV, the noise of frantic typing or occasionally him helping his daughter with his homework. It is possible that open mic man just wants to share his life with everyone else in all it's glory, but more likely that his keyboard or mouse has had too many drinks spilled on it.
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Ethan Magnar
Coreli Corporation Corelum Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:06:00 -
[51]
Edited by: Ethan Magnar on 24/01/2007 18:06:38 The Thirteen Year Old Man
No, wait.
The Thirteen Year Old
Self-explanatory. ^^
- EM |

Allantia
FW Inc Kith of Venal
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:07:00 -
[52]
Edited by: Allantia on 24/01/2007 18:03:49 The God of Details
Feels the need to relay every single minute action he takes over Vent. Easily identified by strings of conversation such as: I just jumped in/warping to top belt/I'm in warp now/Coming out of warp/Top belt empty/Got him on scan/Got him on 90 degree scan/Got him on 30 degree scan/Can't quite get him on 15 degree/Gonna check that other belt/Just went into to warp/Halfway there/Coming out of warp.... Tends to dominate any channel he's on with his constant commentary on his own actions. May incite homocidal desires in corp/alliance mates if hybridized with Loud as Sh-t Man or Reverb Man.
The Anti-Social He's perfectly capable of speaking, and is usually free of most of the other conditions listed here. He just doesn't talk. Ever. Prefers to communicate through chat, no matter what the circumstances. Will rarely rouse himself, however, though his most complex communications are usually along the lines of calling "help!!!" after realizing that no one is paying attention to his screams in chat.
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Ethan Magnar
Coreli Corporation Corelum Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:09:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Allantia Edited by: Allantia on 24/01/2007 18:03:49 ...
I just jumped in/warping to top belt/I'm in warp now/Coming out of warp/Top belt empty/Got him on scan/Got him on 90 degree scan/Got him on 30 degree scan/Can't quite get him on 15 degree/Gonna check that other belt/Just went into to warp/Halfway there/Coming out of warp...
...
lawl, just lawl :)
- EM |

Zankoku Tenshi
Amarr Black Dragon Crime Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:13:00 -
[54]
BRB Man The "Be Right Back / Bath Room Break" guy. Says he'll be right back, and apparently it's for a bio break. Because the bathroom is apparently near his computer and he leaves the door open, so the mike picks up the sounds of him using the toilet and/or flushing.
The couple A duo of players who are playing in the same house, don't use push to talk, and have side conversations with each other the whole time they're on ("no honey, click there" ... "Wow, look at this on my screen!" ... "Your dog is barking, go let it outside"). Bonus points if their computers are in different rooms, so one will scream comments to the other, which is a joy over TS.
Woofy Usually the same household that produced The Couple from above. The man or woman goes afk but leaves themselves logged in and on voice activated. Then their dog keeps barking over TS/Vent, and the rest of us are left going "good boy!" or "bad dog!" try and calm it down, praying the speakers were left on.
Quote: Thou Shalt "Pew Pew" -- Goumindong
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Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:17:00 -
[55]
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Lucifer Fellblade
Ore Mongers SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:21:00 -
[56]
Should I be worried that almost all of these descriptions fit to one member of my corp?
:S ------
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Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:23:00 -
[57]
Edited by: Soporo on 24/01/2007 18:21:41
Quote: The More isk than Lassie Can Jump Over Guy
Wish the hell I knew a guy like that. I lost 2 drakes to D2? and friends lately, but then a lot of people do.
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Allantia
FW Inc Kith of Venal
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:24:00 -
[58]
Mr. Fumbles
He does not use PTT, but he does use a desktop mic... and he doesn't keep it close enough to talk into normally. Any comment by him is announced by 5-10 seconds of clinking and rattling as he picks up his mic and struggles to get it within talking range of his mouth.
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sugark
Blackguard Brigade
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Posted - 2007.01.24 18:25:00 -
[59]
The elaborate man
Where others say "I can tackle" he will tell you in detail that he has points and a web and can go and warp in on targets to pin them down so they don¦t get away.
The please-talk-dirty-to-me man
Once in a while you get a voice on TS that is so hot that you just want the owner to say whatever they want to say as long as they keep talking. Rare breed but does happen. 
Thank you Annya Avishnaya for my awesome sig! <3 |

Gerome Doutrande
4S Corporation Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2007.01.24 19:05:00 -
[60]
We should not forget about the mighty people that have special privileges on voice servers. These also create special breeds of people such as
The Nick **** (or national socialist)
So you join this alliance voice server, and you even added your corp ticker in front of your nickname with a nice connecting "-" dash. Nice eh? Not nice enough for our friend, because THERE MUST BE A "|" DASH (will you people never learn). Our friendly nick rule guardian will let you know that this is ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE (usually during alliance military ops), and then kick you from the server a couple of times just to make sure you get the point. Until you get it right, goddammit. Moron.
Some incarnations of this fine species prefer to educate you in public to show that at least they know and care about such really important issues, but often they turn out to also be fine examples of a
Sir Drag-a-lot He really really thinks that you two have something to talk about in private. Fortunately for you he knows a great trick so you two can speak openly, and he uses it - constantly. Sir Drag-a-lots are very dangerous, because it is very hard to get rid of them (yes because of the dragging). Fortunately for us, there are clear indicators of who the local server's Drag-a-lots are. Scroll through the channel list: See a "Draggie's Den", a "Draggie's Lair", or even a "Drag-a-lot comms"? If you do, close your voice software immediately. And run.
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