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SidViciousSG
Sturmgrenadier Inc R i s e
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Posted - 2007.01.24 19:13:00 -
[61]
Turbine
Turbine most likely have a computer case made from a souped-up vacuum cleaner sitting just a few inches from his mic. Thankfully, he uses PTT but his voice will usually get drowned by his multiple roaring fans no matter how loud he is talking, as an added benefit, that static-like "background" noise will also drown out anything else being said or shouted in the channel. Obviously, it is nigh impossible for him to clearly hear what is being said on comms, he'll keep you repeating over and over and over...
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Blind Man
Kemono.
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Posted - 2007.01.24 19:20:00 -
[62]
best thread ever, so much truth 
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Buxaroo
Constructive Influence
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Posted - 2007.01.24 19:23:00 -
[63]
Originally by: Soporo
The Talks Too Damn Much Man This man keeps up an incessant stream of conversation with everyone or no one. He likes commenting on politics, religion, and anything else that people should avoid in a multinational voice chat. Valuable information is rarely, if ever, passed on and the topics in use are usually boring as sh*t. This man will likely be dead before 40 due to lack of oxygen.
Stop making fun of me
Originally by: Soporo
The Drunkard This man is perpetually drunk or stoned and kindly ensures that everyone knows by just how much. His favorite topics are about various brain cell killing chemicals that he snorts, shoots, smokes, eats or imbibes. This man is sometimes vastly amusing. This man is sometimes extraordinarily dangerous and aggravating to his friends. This man doesnt use PTT unless he notices the cops beating on his door.
OMFG, you just described my friend Exxoduss.
BTW, this has got to be one of the funniest threads ever. I will make sure everyone on TS reads this thread, especially the culprits you jsut described.
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Stede Bonnet
Minmatar Shadows of the Dead Aftermath Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 19:27:00 -
[64]
The I AM EVERYONE MAN The pilot who never uses his name, says warp to me, I need that, ect but NEVER EVER EVER tells you who he is. And then complains when nothing he asks for gets done... Listen buddy, we dont know who the hell ME is ok? Say your damn name!
_______________________________________________ Da time be now, Rise up me enslaved brethren. Rise up and fight, Ye darks time is numbered.
SEEEEYYYLLLLAAAAAA! |

Crovan
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.24 20:49:00 -
[65]
Originally by: MIGHTYDWC
The American Idol WannaBe Guy If he's your FC (GOD help us all), he relays his orders with a musical overtone. If he's not the FC, he likes to "hash" out his favorite song (which you can hear very loudly in the background), often displaying a severe case of Chronic Lyricosus (the substitusion of the actual words of a song for his own) followed by "Come on guys FEEL THE MUSIC".
Ahem...
Captain Oblivious
Not quite the antithesis of Captain Obvious. This voice comms user will jump into a channel where there is a very tense situation (usually combat of some flavor) going on, and there are people constantly relaying intel, calling targets, etc. Captain Oblivious, however, wishes to know what is going on, and will ask, loudly and repeatedly, in order to find out. Dramatization follows:
FC: Seleene primary, Crovan secondary, Waagaa tertiary Fleet Membet 1: 2 points on Crovan FM2: Waagaa's jamming. FC: Ok, primary Waagaa, secondary Crovan, Tertiary Seleene. Captain Oblivious (having been in channel 30 seconds): HEY GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON?! CAN I HELP?! WHERE ARE YOU?!
The Echo
This one is particularly bad when in conjunction with any other trait. May or may not be I have speakers Man or may just have a Realtek audio card and no USB headset. If he talks within 30 seconds of anyone else talking, you will hear what that person said as well as what he is saying. Two of these results in a particular headache as everyone gets a triple-dose of a message, and three or more cause a permanent echo loop that registers on the Richter Scale.
Originally by: Seleene
Client - "You smash them." MC - "Ooooh! Good! Like to smash!"
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SirDeadalot
British Space Corporation
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Posted - 2007.01.24 20:57:00 -
[66]
There's one category I've not heard mentioned yet, into which I normally fall:
Not Allowed to Talk Man
This guy may be quite sensible, or may fall into any of the aforementioned categories, but you'll never know, as all he'll say is 'Can't talk, wife/children asleep' before shutting up for the rest of the night. These types really need a soundproofed room, or a bigger house. ------------------------------------------
Orsini Mining Platform Refugee |

LUGAL MOP'N'GLO
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:02:00 -
[67]
I'm the...
Has voice activation and chews ice guy This guy doesn't care about anyone but himself and refuses to hit a button to commence voice comms. Gang members often pee their pants because they think someone just let off a smartbomb.

Oh, and for the record, I actually 'had' to switch to a key-push because I'm now using vent and ts at the same time. Key activation FTL! I'm sure my buds love it though  ~~~~~~~~~ Caldari. It's so easy a Minmatar could do it. |

Crovan
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:02:00 -
[68]
Lets his girlfriend talk on comms while he is playing Man
Quite a mouthful, but can very annoying. This guy, presumably in some effort to prove to his friends that he really managed to attract a female, lets her talk on voice comms at every available opportunity. Should be noted that this comms user is not always a problem, but often this man's girlfriend will decry the rest of the comms channel as losers or will berate them for stealing her man away to play an internet spaceship game.
Originally by: Seleene
Client - "You smash them." MC - "Ooooh! Good! Like to smash!"
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Billy Sastard
Amarr Zephyr Enterprises Inc. Astral Wolves
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:06:00 -
[69]
Originally by: Crovan Lets his girlfriend talk on comms while he is playing Man
Quite a mouthful, but can very annoying. This guy, presumably in some effort to prove to his friends that he really managed to attract a female, lets her talk on voice comms at every available opportunity. Should be noted that this comms user is not always a problem, but often this man's girlfriend will decry the rest of the comms channel as losers or will berate them for stealing her man away to play an internet spaceship game.
LOL, I don't know how many times I have come back from using the can or grabbing a drink to find my wife with the headset on. She doesn't talk, just likes to listen however. She says that some of the guys have funny accents that she likes to listen to..... -=^=-
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Timmy Bettenson
Caldari Total Mayhem. Aftermath Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:12:00 -
[70]
this thread wins the best of the year so far award 
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Scarlet Winds
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:18:00 -
[71]
Originally by: Inen THE GIRL Rumored to exist, have yet to encouter one. Legend says her voice is better than her looks. If you are a sailor, you may also know them as sirens.
To expand on your girls on voice comms a bit:
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
This girl is a good sport about most occurrances on vent, including the sexual innuendos that are inevitably offered on a pretty much daily basis. She probably has brothers or male best friends, enabling her to take vent/TS comms with a grain of salt. Is not easily freaked or weirded out. When she enters vent/TS, her channel immediately becomes the place to be. She was likely introduced to EVE by a real life friend. This friend will be harassed incessantly for information about her appearance/personal details/etc and attempts will be made to bribe him for photos.
The JIM ASKED ME TO...
This is the wife/girlfriend of a player who for whatever reason has asked her to change skills/mine/run missions/whatever for him. Instead of giving her any hint of how to accomplish her task, he just tells her to log onto vent/TS and ask his corp mates. What follows is an incessant stream of "How do I...?" and the accompanying responses which inevitably prevent any sort of corp/alliance event from functioning. Out of respect for the corp member, however, the guys will most likely be nice to her.
THE TRIES TOO HARD
Lacking the natural talent for attracting male attention like The Girl Next Door, The Tries Too Hard will make overtly sexual references that while normally good for distraction, are quite obvious attemps at "look at me!". This girl is more concerned with using vent to promote herself as a female player than for fleet operations/scouting/anything productive. While obviously sometimes fun to have around, this girl can at times become an extreme annoyance. When such a situation occurs, male corp members may make less than kind statements, at which point The Tries Too Hard becomes The Ultrasensitive, likely logging off of vent/TS until convo'd and apologized to by at least 3 friends.
and my last contribution:
CENSORSHIP MAN
For whatever reason, this guy can't wear headphones, but has small children near where he is playing EVE. As a result, he will ask everyone [including Mr Potty-Mouth] to censor their language completely. While most people will not have a problem with this request, it may get a bit annoying, and Mr Potty-Mouth may simply ignore the request as, for him, it is an impossibility. This situation can sometimes lead to tensions between corp members and establishment of a Silent Channel to which Censorship Man may be banished, particularly when Mr Potty-Mouth is also The Drunkard and Loud As Sh*T Man.
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Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:39:00 -
[72]
Edited by: Soporo on 24/01/2007 21:36:30
Quote: This situation can sometimes lead to tensions between corp members and establishment of a Silent Channel to which Censorship Man may be banished, particularly when Mr Potty-Mouth is also The Drunkard and Loud As Sh*T Man.

"Go sit in the corner!" |

Vodka Neat
Vendetta Underground Rule of Three
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:55:00 -
[73]
Two more
The "We're Waiting" Man He is also usually "The Shy Guy". He has PTT enabled and you hear the comms activate but nothing. He will get replies like "can't here you" but the mic isn't the problem he is just not speaking. This one is one of the harder to spot unless you use an overview program.
The Other Game Guy He sits in a game channel talking about that other game he plays. He doesn't need anyone to play said game but if you get two together it will become impossible to stop the dialog between them. This is particularly annoying when it isn't even a multi-player game!
-Why don't the NPC pilots have pods?- |

BlackMoon Thrawn
the Organ Grinder and Company Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2007.01.24 21:57:00 -
[74]
falling down the stairs man
This guy uses voice activation and everytime someone asks him a question it sounds like he is falling down the stairs as a mad scramble for the mic ensues.
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Strel Samodelkin
Caldari Nationalist Party
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Posted - 2007.01.24 22:00:00 -
[75]
Great thread! I got one:
The Suicidal Drama Queen
Will tell the whole channel about their issues and WAY too much detail about their personal life. Constantly threatening or suggesting suicide. Can be quickly dispatched with a "STFU we don't care, we're here to have fun, play, coordinate, not to listen to your b***s**t. Go get therapy, get the f*** off our channel!" Don't even sugarcoat it. Result: you'll never hear from them again! 
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Nicocat
Caldari New Age Solutions
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Posted - 2007.01.24 22:16:00 -
[76]
Edited by: Nicocat on 24/01/2007 22:13:49 We've only had one kind of female on the TS channel:
Canis Familiaris Whineus (yay for creatively creaming the censorship filter) This woman/girl/guy with squeaky voice exhibits the following:
-Whining. Lots of it, about God knows what at the time. Death? Whine. Skill training too long? Whine. Real life issues interfering with EVE? Double whine. Goes with point 3 REALLY well.
-Sensitivity. Don't you dare heckle this individual about how her Sader rolls over and goes belly-up versus anything scarier than a Badger. A torrent of angry retorts, crying, and/or leaving the TS channel and/or corp will follow. Not that the author of this particular block of text has ever done that to anyone, no sir.
-Nasal voice. I didn't know a microphone could fit within a nasal cavity, but lo and behold, some people just do the damndest things. While typically an acceptable facet of the human voice present in some people, this person takes it to the next level, especially when combined with the other points above and below, and double especially considering she talks constantly (see points 1 and 5).
-Poorness. While most female gamers can get money just from being cool, and others can get it the old-fashioned carebear-crushing way, this particular breed doesn't have squat, often relying on begging, whining (see point 1), or prodding her boyfriend (also likely to be on TS with her) for money and ships. This becomes very apparent, however, as a symptom of the signature characteristic of this voice comms dweller:
-Dependency. Some people just can't do much in EVE. Some people accept this and become miners, but not this one, oh no. A distinct emo vibe/inferiority complex comes from this one, particular whenever death rears its ugly head towards her, but even downtime is no escape from her. The TS is literally abuzz with her constant nagging, for isk, for ships, for a scout, for this and that, virtually anything at all. It's a wonder this breed of voice comms-enabled female can even function in reality, based on how she behaves in game. Coupled with the sheer amount of whining she can put out, as well as the "I have tomorrow's lunch worth of coins in my nose" voice, this can quickly lead to a myriad of problems, ranging from client-side muting to outright banning from the server.
(edited for WTFBolding) ----------------------------
Originally by: Splagada SEED ME DADDY
WTB: Friggin' portrait |

Firane
Imperium Technologies Firmus Ixion
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Posted - 2007.01.24 22:30:00 -
[77]
Originally by: Allantia Mr. Fumbles
He does not use PTT, but he does use a desktop mic... and he doesn't keep it close enough to talk into normally. Any comment by him is announced by 5-10 seconds of clinking and rattling as he picks up his mic and struggles to get it within talking range of his mouth.
We have a few of those haha.
What about:
Play by Play on Myself Man
Even if you are in a 100 on 100 fleet fight, he feels the need to tell everyone when he is called primary, when hee is being dampened/td'd/jammed/nossed/scrambled, when he is taking damage, when he might have to warp out, when he warps out, when he realizes he can't warp due to being scrambled, when he is in armor, when he is in structure, when he is down, when he has been podded, or any combination of the above.
---
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Terrak2
E.V.I.L
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Posted - 2007.01.24 22:45:00 -
[78]
Originally by: Twilight Moon and just for you:
The Voice Comms Fanboi
Seemingly never satisfied with whatever voice communications program he is on, this particular fellow will constantly berate the other voice comms users as to how his usually soft tones are being made to sound like a cat being strangled by the poor sound quality. Eventually you might give in and switch to the voice comm program he reccommends just to get him to shut up, but really, don't bother, he'll never be satisfied, and will generally instead end up whining about something else, such as lack of features.
In short, ban him from comms, and kick from corp asap.
Primary target is crhsshkrraax, ali-asdhx to hefa****am. There are shfixin eckx targets incwarshming.
I rest my case.
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy workin' at Starbucks.
E.V.I.L Corp Recruiting |

Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.24 23:18:00 -
[79]
I keep remembering more...
Among other things, I am the
Will Mute Anyone At Will Man
This man will swiftly Mute any and everyone who shows the slightest sign of any of the afformentioned Com afflictions. He rarely tells anyone he is doing this, which sometimes causes confusion and irritation. He Mutes these irritants so much, half his channel cannot be heard, so he often "walks over" (talks over) others conversations. This behavior occasionally results in the Mute Anyone At Will Man transforming into the Oblivious Man, as his recieved information is now drastically reduced. |

Ikvar
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.25 00:08:00 -
[80]
Originally by: MIGHTYDWC
The More isk than Lassie Can Jump Over Guy After hearing that someone just lost their ship on an ops, this guy is more than happy to proclaim " If...if he lost his ship I'll....I'll buy him another. I got a ****load of isk, I'll replace anyone's ship"
This is me except I'm a bastard and even though I have more ISK than jesus I won't buy anybody anything 
Originally by: Rekindle I was in an empire system when they used their grief tactics to explode everything I own.
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Nicholas Barker
Caldari Rampage Eternal Ka-Tet
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Posted - 2007.01.25 00:14:00 -
[81]
The loner
weither the FC is talking or not, he'll promptly scream "CAN I HAVE AN INVITE" the moment he warps to a gate with a fight happening. -------------------------------------
LAUNCH THAT SUCKER YEAH! |

mazzilliu
Caldari Sniggerdly Pandemic Legion
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Posted - 2007.01.25 00:15:00 -
[82]
The Baroti
those who know, need no explanation. those who don't, are better off not knowing
GIVE ME BACK MY EXCLAMATION MARK PORTRAIT :( :( :( :( :( :( |

JabJabVVV
Total Mayhem. Aftermath Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.25 00:28:00 -
[83]
The Victim
Usually a fairly competent player who is well liked within the corp but for some reason seems to attract near constant mockery. This mocking is often down to one solo act of n00bery of epic proportions that the player will not be allowed to forget in a hurry. ----------- When I was a n00b, I spake as a n00b, I understood as a n00b, I thought as a n00b: but when I became pr0, I put away n00bish things. |

Attak
Trioptimum FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.25 01:13:00 -
[84]
The Hostile Takeover Man
Be it gangs, fleets or mining ops, this guy will sit silently in the background and give little to no input. That is, until something happens that he doesn't agree with. At that point he will announce on comms (usually immitating loud as sh*t man) that this is the way the op should be going, and he is now in charge. He will then spend several minutes doing a rant/frustrated chain of commands. A common phenomenon is for no one to listen to him, and for him to quit and sulk in another channel.
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Crovan
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.25 01:23:00 -
[85]
Edited by: Crovan on 25/01/2007 01:20:13 "Check, Check"
This guy is often also The Clueless Scout, and his intel is the most important thing in the world. He will often shout, "Check! Check!" or "INTEL!" followed by a report of the Pyrite price fluctuations in Rens. Often becomes the victim of Boy Who Cried Wolf syndrome as people eventually just tune him out. Likely an elementary school teacher, "Check, Check" must have everyone's undivided attention before giving his gem of intelligence data. Is sometimes also Impenetrable Accent Man.
Edit: Sometimes also says, "Permission to ask a question?"
Originally by: Seleene
Client - "You smash them." MC - "Ooooh! Good! Like to smash!"
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Soporo
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Posted - 2007.01.25 01:43:00 -
[86]
Quote: "South Central"
Naw, that guys got it made, at least the Cops are around. It's when you hear "YEEEEHAAWWWW! *blam blam blam* every 14 seconds (my backyard) and the only cop nearby is the one helped float the keg, and is currently puking in the bushes. |

Ben Derindar
KelBen Productions
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Posted - 2007.01.25 02:09:00 -
[87]
Edited by: Ben Derindar on 25/01/2007 02:11:29 The Literal Leet Speaker
LLS, in addition to almost any combination of other traits listed, also has a tendency to actually speak in leet. Sometimes this can be in the form of spoken abbreviations e.g. "I see-bee-eff flying all the way out there", though in more extreme cases, this can actually extend to the full pronunciation of abbreviations as literal words, such as "oh my god, that was so lole".
Usually derided for the habit by his teammates, LLS will typically defend his style of speech with further responses such as "Roffle, sif not speaking leet. L'mayo at you tee-bee-aitch."
edit: grammar (oh the irony)
/Ben
How to fix Eve |

MIGHTYDWC
Gallente Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.25 03:25:00 -
[88]
While having a laugh about this thread on TS tonight, I came up with some more TS personalities.
The Spy This guy is a guy you might have flown with a million times, and killed many a pod together with. The whole while though you would never suspect he's mapping your TS to your enemy so they can hear everything. Beware though. This guy might burst into a Village People moment and rampage into your fleet op channel singing "IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A ...." (the above is from personal experiance. regardless of the time it happend, I can only sit back and laugh about it now)
The Journalist During the occasional minning, fleet, or just general "shooting the bull" op, this guy will take full advantage of his 4 gagillion gig HD to record those who might not be at their best, due to any number of reasons, good wine being one, and then either a) play said recordings back to entertain everyone the next day or b) post on EVE-O for everyone to enjoy 
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Crovan
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.25 03:31:00 -
[89]
Tasha's Hideous Laughter
This comms dweller is hard to ferret out, as most of the time he is a normal, conscienscious comms user, but God help you if you start having a joke contest or post amusing pictures of kittens, because this guy will act as if he had a second level D&D spell cast on him and laugh until you think he is going to choke on his own tongue. Remember, it is NOT funny to provoke Tasha's Hideous Laughter into one of his fits. It's dangerous, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Originally by: Seleene
Client - "You smash them." MC - "Ooooh! Good! Like to smash!"
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sartorii
Genco Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.01.25 04:20:00 -
[90]
Originally by: Skraeling Shortbus
Originally by: Apocryphai The Impenetrable Accent Man Has an accent so extreme that nobody, from anywhere, can understand a word he says. Applies to anyone from any country except your own of course.
combine that with drunk and hilarity ensues.
IAC experience thus far indicates that once the gang is drunk enough, everyone speaks the same language..
To Bad Ignorance isnt Painful |
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