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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 8 post(s) |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2008.11.19 13:57:00 -
[421]
Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 19/11/2008 14:00:46
(The story continues)
*crack whizzle kaplowie and other assorted sounds*
The Pinto crashes through a few trashcans and boxes, spooks a well amazed cat who had a traumatic experience almost a year back and finally stops covered in smoke in the dark alley. Wrangler and Jones step out of the car.
Wrangler: Where are we?
SJ: 2009, october 13th...*gets dramatic* Wee-Day.
Wrangler: What the hell is this Wee day?!
SJ: The day Walking in Stations goes online and declares war on mankind.
Wrangler: Dude, It's just an expansion...
SJ: Just an expansion?! RIght...come here.
Wrangler and Jones walk out of the alleyway to times square new york.
Wrangler: We're in new york?!
SJ: It's a time and space Pinto.
Wrangler: So what did you want to show me?
Jones points up at thousands and thousands of billboards declaring the new age of internet reality, Walking in Stations, everywhere. Models showing the EVE box against their bosom, high tech visuals blasting through screens almost as high as the buildings.
Wrangler: Wow.
SJ: I wish, we would've seen WoW advertisement get this big. This is EVE.
Wrangler: Our marketing department did this?
SJ: Yes.
Wrangler: CCP marketing department?
SJ: Yes.
Wrangler: This IS unbelieavable.
SJ: I know. Look, it's starting...
A huge clock ticks down and as it reaches the final 10 seconds, a huge Templar begins ot ascend on a flagpole ontop one of the buildings. Huge roars from people all over count down; 10...9...8....7...
SJ: We have to go.
Wrangler: This is cool.
6...5...
SJ: We REALLY need to go!!
Jones grabs Wranglers arm and drags him back to the car.
4...3...
Wrangler: Come on! We could've watched that first.
SJ: New York is one of the first places WiS hit hard....now let's see...10th of May, 2011...
2...1...
Wrangler: What's that?
SJ: Hold on!
The Pinto drives down the alleyway as a shockwave follows them. As the pinto reaches 8.8 miles per hour, it enters the warptunnel just before a wall.
The cat holds on to the frontbumper of the car.
Very displeased.
(TBC) |
BiggestT
Caldari
Space Oddysey
Pupule 'Ohana
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Posted - 2008.11.19 14:03:00 -
[422]
Edited by: BiggestT on 19/11/2008 14:03:18
Awesome story telling ability, i was actually hooked in when the countdown started! :D
Moar! :) |
D4RK 0NE
testicular Fortitude
Pirate Coalition
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Posted - 2008.11.19 14:07:00 -
[423]
\o/ but damn u jones-moar suspense!?! im going nutters here  |
Saju Somtaaw
Gallente
Department of Defence
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Posted - 2008.11.19 14:49:00 -
[424]
That'll be my 22nd birthday :). Keep the story coming Sheriff
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AlienHand
|
Posted - 2008.11.19 15:00:00 -
[425]
Gimme moar!!
awesome story Jones :)
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Jana Clant
New Dawn Corp
New Eden Research
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Posted - 2008.11.19 15:38:00 -
[426]
Moar! Those cliffhangers will be the death of me! |
Doomed Predator
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2008.11.19 17:58:00 -
[427]
Damn you Jones,damn your awsome storytelling abilities.
The 'Fendahlian Collective' strikes again |
Katabrok First
Caldari
Star Mandate
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Posted - 2008.11.19 23:00:00 -
[428]
Oh my, don't let us hanging!!!
Kata
Uma vez flamengo, sempre flamengo. |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2008.11.20 11:48:00 -
[429]
Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 20/11/2008 11:49:23
10th of May, 2011, as story would suggest.
*crack whizzywhizzy bang shepowwhoopdereitiskablowie!*
The pinto skids and crashes into a crude metal fence, takes a dip to the worse and stumbles down a slight fall like an old man in a skating ring. Military experts would call it a "crash".
Our two entrepenours climb out of the upside down Pinto.
Wrangler: Nice parking genious.
SJ: It's a pinto! What do you expect? Hilton hotel couch greeting us with flowers and marzipan?
Wrangler: No, it'...whoa. Where are we?
SJ: According to this wrist thingy i just pulled out of my arse to save consistency, we're in paris, 2011, may, near eiffel tower.
Wrangler: Paris? But it's all, messed up. The tower is crooked, most of the earth is charred, there's less french people around granted but, damn.
SJ: The headquarters of the human resistance.
Wrangler: Human resistance?!
SJ: Against the machines. Look, it's all very simple, now come on.
Wrangler: SIMPLE?!
Wrangler and Jones run into an alleyway, while the cat stays by the tipsyturny car and wonders about a huge flying thing in the sky, shining bright burning lights all over the place.
SJ: Get in.
Wrangler: No!
SJ: Get. In.
Wrangler: It's a sewer!
SJ: It's not a sewer, it's a hatch.
Wrangler: Street. Manhole cover. It's a freakin' sewer!
Jones kicks Wrangler into the manhole and follows him.
Wrangler: Ngh...wh...where am i?
Navigator: Hello Wrangler, and welcome to the Nebudak...nebuddikak...Nebhupdi...ERIS!
Eris: Just call it the Nebby.
Navigator: Welcome...*gets serious* To the Nebby.
Wrangler: What the HELL is going on?!
SJ: I said already, it's very simple.
Navigator: Well said.
Eris: Mhm.
Wrangler: He didn't say anything!
Wrangler grabs a hold as the Nebhukada..Nebby starts to move in the Paris Underground.
SJ: We must get to the portal.
Navigator: Got'cha, Portal it is.
On top the Nebby, one of the remaining assault cruisers in the human resistance, A very perplexed cat was having a real bad headache.
(to be...you know) |
X3R0N
Caldari
Boys With Toys
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Posted - 2008.11.20 11:53:00 -
[430]
Jones you're epic ! but you're also killing me with the suspense  |
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Rair Fryar
Minmatar
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Posted - 2008.11.20 19:43:00 -
[431]
Moar Khat!
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2008.11.20 22:41:00 -
[432]
(INTERLUDE!)
Original here B.O.B. Outkast
Smartbombs Over Jita
1, 2.. 1, 2, 3; yeah!
Arma-ged-it-on, Jita-bound,
Thunder pounds when I warp around (Woo!)
Like a million noobs with civilian railguns
You can't stop the pain.
Who want some? Don't come with ra-ven.
I'll be there, but you won't leave there
Smart bombing is the game.
Wrangler man tellin' us that i'm insane.
So now you sittin' in a pop-pod, noob an' vet.
In a corpse suit, holding on ya head.
Curse insults over chat and the net.
But this'll be the year that you won't forget.
Two-oh-oh-Nine! And brutha everything goes, blow whoever you be.
Long overdue consequences, no matter how big the defenses.
Weapons hot, I'm boomin' ill.
Anythign gets hit, a touch of hell.
HOT! Get a life, or a gtc to sell.
Or grab your char and just go sell, flame ya in the EVE-mail.
"Just popped your pod with mah hammer!", then fly off-grid in mah bombah.
Black Armageddon and a stack of boosters, stack of bombs, with some answers.
Cure for lagging, cure for game.
Make a playa' wanna stay out for days.
Get back on, things are wrong,
Sitting in Jita but he's all alone.
Before he left, Jita on, now out of power.
Thousands of thousands corpse so sour.
Lock on, 'geddon, let a sec to breath,
and here i come with some more!
Ahhhhh!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
(cont...) |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2008.11.20 22:42:00 -
[433]
F1, F2, 3, bombs on.
Did you ever think a carebear rock this zone?
Like that there miner and will still get hit.
**** you off every time we meet.
Ain't no track beam, i'ma fiend, not discreet.
Smartbombs bumpin' up and down the fleet.
Fight back, quick attack, 'bout five dev deep.
Seventy-five ef-cee's tryin' to get me beat.
Jita stumped, i'm drunk, show the lub.
Should have brought a titan, but you brought the 'CORD.
Should have stayed back, but you brought your chums.
'Spose to meet your friend, real life for lunch.
No L to-the U to-the B for you.
Got your ship on the way to a big badaboom.
Got a little bitty cruiser, tech two, now gone.
Never turn my tail and run from them.
Should have leave it (leave it) quit it (quit it) lag (lag) out (out)
Now you you messed up, you pod go pop.
Had a business for yourself, boy, Jitas closed.
I know it's a crime but i just LOL.
SB number four, since i'm on a roll.
Freeze up, blow up, stop, CONCORD.
Just ram it, scram it, and blow some more.
A movin' on an' on, commin' straight for the Jita.
Close all your orders, load your stuff in a hoarder,
Takin' Jita out 'cause a whippins in order.
I'm just a little curious trading exploder.
Give a lil more hell, then I hit the border.
You keep tryin' till i get below point five.
I'm a smartbombin' fiend tryin' to stay alive.
When you come to Jita now well you better just hide,
'cause the Jones gonna take a wild ride!
Hah!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Yeah! Ha ha yeah!
Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah!
Uhh-huh!
Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah.
Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah.
Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah.
Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah.
C-C-P, She-riff!
Jo-jo-jones!
To the T-O-P!
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
Bob warps in. Lag Out.
(1, 2.. 1, 2, 3, 4) (Get some)
I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million.
I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million.
I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million.
(fade out) |
Jared D'Uroth
|
Posted - 2008.11.21 00:32:00 -
[434]
Nice one. I sorta sang along at the end. |
PKlavins
Caldari
The New Era
HUZZAH FEDERATION
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Posted - 2008.11.21 05:01:00 -
[435]
This thread... MUST... be stickied... it is the shining light of the dark and grim mire that is General Discussion... a beacon of hope shining through the dark and twisted forest of whines and 'omg-my-raven-got-nerfed's...
THIS THREAD CAN SAVE LIVES! STICKY IT!!!!!!
In all seriousness, sticky it.
The new 7.5km web = web + scram = "Wamble".
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Taradis
Amarr
The Imperial Assassins
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Posted - 2008.11.21 05:44:00 -
[436]
Edited by: Taradis on 21/11/2008 05:45:26
 a whole whopping 8.8 miles per hour gotta love the pintos......
/me starts pacing back and forth and drinking yarrrrrrr juice waiting for the next installment of back to EvE.
Edit: Oh there was a page 15 guess i need another cup of coffee derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Taradis
Amarr
The Imperial Assassins
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Posted - 2008.11.21 05:52:00 -
[437]
love the rap its da bomb
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Slash Harnet
Minmatar
Fire Mandrill
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Posted - 2008.11.21 07:26:00 -
[438]
 Originally by: Sheriff Jones
(Introducing...Wrangler And Jones Most Excellent Adventure)
SJ: 2009, october 13th, release of WiS, or as it's known from there on...Wee-Day.
I always knew my birthday would be the beginning of the end. |
Cyber Blue
Gallente
Cyber Blue Consulting
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Posted - 2008.11.21 08:34:00 -
[439]
And then along came Jones
Tall thin Jones
Slow-walkin' Jones
Slow-talkin' Jones
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
End of line... |
Vaugue
|
Posted - 2008.11.21 11:07:00 -
[440]
a legendary thread worthy of nothing less than page 1 
To the top ! |
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Leakim jones
Minmatar
Brutor tribe
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Posted - 2008.11.21 15:56:00 -
[441]
Lol this is the highlight of my day!!! |
Principe
Amarr
|
Posted - 2008.11.22 11:54:00 -
[442]
Buuump. what an awesome thread.
----------------------------------------------
Reclaiming through the use of superior Khanid technology
------------------------ |
Saju Somtaaw
Gallente
Department of Defence
|
Posted - 2008.11.22 15:11:00 -
[443]
Give us Moar!!!!!!!!!
---- --- ---
Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :) |
brethen crowne
Minmatar
Eve University
Ivy League
|
Posted - 2008.11.22 18:43:00 -
[444]
These are awesome and someone *coughWranglercough* should sticky it just for it contribution to the community
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Khraunus
Amarr
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
|
Posted - 2008.11.22 20:56:00 -
[445]
Agreed, this thread MUST be stickied!
Most importantly, how are you supposed to tell whether this is part of my post or my signature? |
royal killer
Amarr
Shadows Of The Federation
|
Posted - 2008.11.22 23:50:00 -
[446]
damn I lol'd so hard over the rap song, it just keeps getting better and better Sheriff Jones
Request for a lyric for this song: Song
--------------------
*ding ding!*
Wrangler: Hello and w
*ding ding!*
Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners. |
Tratis Sykes
Gallente
Heavy Industry Technology and Logistics
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Posted - 2008.11.24 15:33:00 -
[447]
Please continue the story, Sheriff. It's phunney :)
And this thread seriously needs a sticky *nodes*
Sir! Sir! .. We are completly surrounded!!
- Excelent! Then we can attack in every direction! |
Niraco79
Gallente
Black Nova Corp
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.11.24 15:35:00 -
[448]
go back to first page....
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Peter Totolos
Gemeinschaft interstellarer Soeldner
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Posted - 2008.11.24 18:48:00 -
[449]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
...
SJ: I said already, it's very simple.
...
i knew it was simple!
cool stuff, SJ!
|
Glengrant
TOHA Heavy Industries
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Posted - 2008.11.25 09:13:00 -
[450]
Page 3?
Unacceptable!
---
Save the forum: Think before you post.
ISK BUYER = LOOSER
EVE TV- Bring it back!
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