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*Sneaks in a classic* CCP Shop! (Guest starring Wrangler)

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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 8 post(s)
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:10:00 - [1] (Inspired by a thread you might recognize ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer slams a missile on the table. Wrangler: Ah the XZV-1250, aka, the "Devastatonator!" Problem? Customer: Yeah i have a problem. I was at a belt right... Wrangler: Right. Customer: And this ripe, delicious, full of minerals ship was there... Wrangler: Gotcha. Big ship, muchos ISKneros. Customer: In a nutshell. Well, i was shooting away with these blood things hits missile missile bleeps Customer: ... Wrangler: ... Customer: I was shooting away and the ship began to warp. Wrangler: Understandable reaction to being shot, mhm. The problem is? Customer: This sorry excuse for a missile didn't follow! Wrangler: Excuse me? Customer: This missile. Didn't. Follow! Wrangler: Into warp...? Customer: Exactly. I want it fixed. Wrangler: Fixed...missile...warp... Customer: Yup. I'm right, i'm...dramatic pause...The Customer! Wrangler: Ok then. picks up the XZV-1250 and walks to the backroom cling cling whrrrrrr bang bang bang damnit!* whirwhir! zzzzzzt!* Wrangler: RIGHT! slams the missile back on the counter There ya go. Customer: Huh? Wrangler: It's the new and improved XZV-1250 with an inbuilt warp engine for those HARD to reach targets who dare escape you. Customer picks up the missile varily. Customer: Umm..thanks? Wrangler: Quuuuite welcome! Have a nice day now. Customer: You..too? ding ding Wrangler whistles and reads a book for a while. dig ding Wrangler: Hello and welc... Customer walks in, covered in smokestains, burned clothes and dragging behind a shiptag with the name "Wee-Haul-1" barely readable; "Don't you Hello and welcome to CCP me!! I want to havea word with you... Wrangler: Oh... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
MuffinsRevenger EmpiresMod Arcane Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:30:00 - [2] Exelent ^^
ramzahn Caldari	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:38:00 - [3] Really very good.
Hungo Minmatar Nightfallz	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:39:00 - [4] i loled
Shenan'Calhar Caldari	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:41:00 - [5] Gold
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:41:00 - [6] Wrangler helps load up the new Missile-Warp-Disruptor-3000 into the back of the hauler; "Free of charge!" Customer: A-hole!! Wrangler: What a nice young man. Ladidaa...goes back to reading ding ding Wrangler: Right, Hello and welcome to CCP! How may i help you? Customer: Want to buy some soil? Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Cheap soil, cheapest and safest soil you've ever seen! Wrangler: That's ver Customer: Cheapcheapcheap! Cheap soil! Buy now or you bootsole! Wrangler: Eh? Customer: YOU BUY SOIL NOW OR YOU DIE!!!! Wrangler: Whoa easy there! Customer: See how annoying that is? Wrangler: Well it certainly didn't tickle my bum if you know what i mean. Customer: ...err..no... Wrangler: It me...nevermind, i'm guessing you're here because of ISK sellers? Customer: What gave you that idea brainiac?! Wrangler: No need to be rude. Right, what would you like for me to do about it? Customer: Fix it. Wrangler: Yes, i see. Let me rephrase that. How would you like me to fix it? Customer: Just fix it! Wrangler: Seems we are back at the lack of communication.... Customer: WHAT?! Wrangler: Nothing, nothing! Right. Fix it. Customer: And make it snappy hopscotch, i'm busy with work. Wrangler: Riight...just one moment. disappears into the backroom cling clang and other assorted noises of search and rummage Wrangler walks back and sets a round, thing, on the counter: And there ya are! Customer: What's that? Wrangler: It's a fix. No more problems. Q.A.Ranteed! Customer: Fine. takes the...thing and leaves shop ding ding Eris: Hey Wrangler, have you seen my "ISK Seller Attractor System" Prototype anywhere? Wrangler: Can't say i have opens book My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Darkmist Starpain The Serpent Isle	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:44:00 - [7] Pure golden. Can't stop laughing. Will there be a sequel to this? ------------------------ Don't you see the bodies burning, Desolate and full of yearning, Dying of anticipation, Choking from intoxication!
Pushtan Ministry of Destruction Southern Cross Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:46:00 - [8] i lol'd very good
Rhanna Khurin Minmatar Tribal Liberation Force	Posted - 2008.08.06 11:47:00 - [9] HAHA! Nice work Sheriff!
Theran Emoner Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.08.06 12:08:00 - [10] Very nice, keep up the good work :)

SARPIDON Revival.	Posted - 2008.08.06 12:21:00 - [11] Very good
Tamia Clant New Dawn Corp New Eden Research	Posted - 2008.08.06 12:24:00 - [12] That's a very entertaining read. Looking for queue-free research slots? Click here!

CCP Navigator C C P	Posted - 2008.08.06 12:27:00 - [13] Awesome Navigator Community Representative CCP Hf, EVE Online Email / Netfang

Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:28:00 - [14] Zzzzz....zzzzz.... ding ding! Wrangler: Hu wh welcome to help! How may i CCP you? thinks Yeah! Customer: Oh i think you've CCP'd me enough. Wrangler: Another dissatisfied customer hmm? Customer: You could say so! Wrangler: Another dissatisfied customer. Customer: Yes! Wrangler: O...k...then. Now, what seems removes a candywrapper from his cheek...to be the problem? Customer: I bought EVE! Wrangler: I'm sorry for your loss... Customer: Huh? Wrangler: I mean, go on. Customer: You changed it! Wrangler: Yes, but i prefer pink shirts in the summer. Customer: WHAT?! Wrangler: A...oh you mean EVE! Customer: YES!!!1 Wrangler: Excuse me...points at 1 Look, i told you once, i won't tell you again, ones are not allowed in this establishment! the 1 leaves with its..err...head held low Wrangler: Now then, what and how did we change? Customer: You promised space flying! Wrangler: Yes? Customer: It's more like flying in space! Wrangler: Riight... Customer: You promised shooting stuff up! Wrangler: And...? Customer: It's more like stuff shooting YOU up! Wrangler: ...i'm waiting for a point here... Customer: You. PROMISED interaction with other players! Wrangler: No wiat wait...lemme guess...it's more like other players are interacting with you? Customer: Exactly! You know the problem! Wrangler: I sure do. Let me just...goes down behind the counter Customer: .... Customer: Hello? Customer: HELLO?! Customer leans over the counter to see Wrangler sleeping on the floor; "HEY!" Wrangler: WHAT?! Customer: I'm having a problem here and you're sleeping!? Wrangler: It's more like, i'm sleeping while you're having a problem. Good night. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Crumplecorn Gallente Eve Cluster Explorations	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:34:00 - [15] Lulz, that last one took place on the Russia server, yes? - DesuSigs
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:44:00 - [16] ding ding! Wrangler: Hello and w ding ding! Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners...goes back to reading (Sometimes short ones just work ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Tarminic 24th Imperial Crusade	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:50:00 - [17] Awesome stuff. ---------------- Play EVE: Downtime Madness v0.83 (Updated 7/3)
Anubis Xian Reavers	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:57:00 - [18] hehe Originally by: CCP Oveur The client handles no logic, it is simply a dumb terminal. I'm the Juggernaut, *****!
Lando Milary	Posted - 2008.08.06 14:59:00 - [19] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (Sometimes short ones just work ) Bwhahahaha! Awesome!
Kalen Vox Veyr	Posted - 2008.08.06 15:01:00 - [20] Hehe, nice! __________

chadau	Posted - 2008.08.06 15:34:00 - [21] I dont get it
Bartholomeus Crane Gallente The Crane Family	Posted - 2008.08.06 15:34:00 - [22] Originally by: chadau I dont get it Not the first time that happens, right? -- Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 16:17:00 - [23] (Whistles...yes i realise the one bit did sound like soviet russia ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello and we ding ding Wrangler: Hello and ding ding Wrangler: Hello a... ding ding Wrangler: ... ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dididididididididididididididididididing ding Wrangler: H Di... Customer #2034: Hey guys make room! ...ng ding Wrangler: Can i...help you guys? Customers: RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!! Wrangler: Hey hey hey! One at a time! Seemingly Customer Leader: We want justice! For far too long have we been opressed by bubbles and been unable to do anything about it! Wrangler: Right, what seems to be the problem? SCL: We, the collective mob of annoyed customers...whisper whisper SCL: Sorry, We, the Collective GROUP of annoyed cu...whisper whisper SCL: Look, no...stronger whisper whisper SCL: sigh Fine! We, The Collective Group of Annoyed Customers and BILL... Bill: Thank you! SCL: ...have found out that there is once more an upcoming patch that will stregthen the bubble and thus make us unable to fight back. Wrangler: There's no such... SCL: We furthermore would like to inform you, that if these demands we have brought with us are not met in a timely fashion, we shall be putting a realmwide blockade to stop any ne... Wrangler: Hold up! looks around lifts a brow goes to back room comes back out wearing his wizard hat and robe Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might i assist you? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Trind2222 Amarr The Red Ring	Posted - 2008.08.06 16:27:00 - [24] Best ever hope you don't mind stealing the last one for sig it was so funny ____________ Wrangler comes back out wearing his wizard hat and robe Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might I assist you?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 16:28:00 - [25] Originally by: Trind2222 Best ever hope you don't mind stealing the last one for sig it was so funny Not at all, all for the public here My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Pwett Minmatar QUANT Corp. QUANT Hegemony	Posted - 2008.08.06 16:58:00 - [26] *Wrangler puts on his wizard hat. _______________ Pwett CEO, Founder, & Executor <Q> QUANT Hegemony
Darkmist Starpain The Serpent Isle	Posted - 2008.08.06 18:08:00 - [27] These are getting better and funnier. I so want whatever it is that you're drinking/smoking Mr. Jones. And UP UP and AWAYYYY.. ------------------------ Don't you see the bodies burning, Desolate and full of yearning, Dying of anticipation, Choking from intoxication!
Frug Repo Industries R.E.P.O.	Posted - 2008.08.06 18:29:00 - [28] You do tend to deliver, Jones. - - - - - - - - - Do not use dotted lines - - - - - - - If you think I'm awesome, say BOOO BOOO!! - Ductoris Neat look what I found - Kreul Hey, my marbles
Rook Highwind Unnatural Growth	Posted - 2008.08.06 18:38:00 - [29] Edited by: Rook Highwind on 06/08/2008 18:39:28 Brilliant, keep up the good work Oh, and Originally by: Pwett *Wrangler puts on his robe and wizard hat. Fix'd. ______________________________________
Straight Chillen Gallente Solar Wind Ministry Of Amarrian Secret Service	Posted - 2008.08.06 19:10:00 - [30] a little ray of sunshine, on a dark and gloomy day

Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.06 20:09:00 - [31] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 06/08/2008 20:11:18 (One last before i head off for a weeks vacation. Sowwy ) ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You nerfed the suicides! You nerfed speed! You ne gets pushed to the street Wrangler: Thank you and have a good day! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we Customer: Why the suiciders?! Whyyy gets pushed out to the street Wrangler: Have a good day! ding ding Wrangler: Hello th Customer: Suicider... pushed out to the street Wrangler: Bye! ding ding Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: ... Customer: Su... pushed to the street ding ding Customer is pushed to the street. Wrangler: POD off! Wrangler: Right! ding THUNK! Ow! click click Wrangler: Go...ne...fis...hi...ng!! hangs sign on door (Fly safe people! Back in a week if there's a problem with the stabilizer coils o7) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Joey Meow	Posted - 2008.08.06 20:22:00 - [32] Cute, made me laugh...
Captain Porter	Posted - 2008.08.06 20:32:00 - [33] This is definitely what I needed for today. Thanks for the laughs and enjoy your vacation.
Master Akira Central Research Nexus	Posted - 2008.08.06 20:35:00 - [34] I lol'ed
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.13 12:19:00 - [35] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Er... Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How c how c how czzzzzz... Wrangler: Sorry sorry! puts a tape recorder and livesize doll away Went to the shops. Now then... Customer: I wi Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You're not serious... Wrangler: Protocol. Customer: Right, can we move this sketch along now? Wrangler: Certainly sir. Customer: Now, i wish to complain! Wrangler: Very good. About? Customer: That bell over the door needs to be nerfed. Wrangler: The bell sir? Customer: Yes. It's keeping me awake on god awful hours. Wrangler: I could take it off sir.. Customer: That would be very nice. Wrangler: But then i don't have a start for the sketch. Customer: Excuse me? Wrangler: The "ding ding" at the start, how do i know when to start the sketch? Customer: Why not just start it? Wrangler: Just start it?! Are you mad? Yo0u can't just START the sketch. That would be too simple and that's not how we do things here at CCP. Customer and Wrangler look at camera. Customer: Well, maybe a muffler of sorts? Wrangler: What, like a sock? Customer: Yes! A sock would be splendid. Wrangler: Wouldn't it make it a bit, thunky? Customer: Well let's try.....there, try the door now. thunk thunk Wrangler: See? Customer: But it's more pleasent. Wrangler: For you perhaps, but my audience demands some form of similarity. Customer: Then what do you propose we do hmm?? Wrangler: I could ofcourse tell you to sod off. Customer: True, but wouldn't the audience think it's a bit of a cheap ending? Wrangler: Oh don't worry, they play EVE, they don't expect things to actually work. Customer and Wrangler look at camera. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Pak Narhoo Gallente Pacific Starfleet Command	Posted - 2008.08.13 12:43:00 - [36] Crap, now I have to fish the red bull out of my keyboard.....
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.13 12:52:00 - [37] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/08/2008 12:52:39 Originally by: Pak Narhoo Crap, now I have to fish the red bull out of my keyboard..... ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Pak Narhoo drops a keyboard on the counter. Wrangler: Yes? Pak Narhoo: I spilled red bull on it! Wrangler: I fail to see the logic in blaming CCP for it... Pak Narhoo: People complain about WoW... Wrangler: Fair point. Pak Narhoo: So, I want it fixed! Wrangler: Well, hmm...oh! lifts finger and gives Pak Narhoo duct-tape Stick it on your ship as a counter-nano-nerf-device! Pak Narhoo: How on ea... Wrangler: Red bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiings!! Pak Narhoo: .... Wrangler: I know... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Orogaldeo Amarr Star Horizons Rule of Three	Posted - 2008.08.13 13:02:00 - [38] This made my Week ________________________________
Bruja Ry Caldari Copperhead Arsenal	Posted - 2008.08.13 13:03:00 - [39] Good stuff, keep it coming. http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=807663&page=1
Bald Rikk The Legendary Fleet	Posted - 2008.08.13 16:41:00 - [40] THis thread is definitly the best in a while Thankyou -- Baldrikk Originally by: CCP Explorer You can still steal their stuff.

Niccolado Starwalker Shadow Templars	Posted - 2008.08.13 16:51:00 - [41] Oh man! This thread is pure gold! Thanks for the laughs!! Originally by: Dianabolic Your tears are absolutely divine, like a fine fine wine, rolling down your cheeks until they flow down the river of LOL
Karentaki Gallente Aliastra	Posted - 2008.08.13 16:53:00 - [42] ROFL - Epic win there. ============= RE: The suicide nerf Originally by: agent apple I believe I can safely speak for many of us when I say, Dear Devs, Go Back to WOW
Locke DieDrake Human Information Virus	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:05:00 - [43] Epic! You sir, win the forum wars. ______________________________________________ Goon FC(08/12/06):"its a trap" "that thing is fully operational"
Lord Haur Amarr Imperial Academy	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:07:00 - [44] Brilliant! Hilarious! Can we get a post from CCP Wrangler pls? If anyone can find him and poke him that is... --- Sig Starts Here --- Lord Haur - Imperial Academy Logistical Support
Transmaniacon Minmatar Strike-Force-Alpha	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:14:00 - [45] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/08/2008 12:52:39 Originally by: Pak Narhoo Crap, now I have to fish the red bull out of my keyboard..... ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Pak Narhoo drops a keyboard on the counter. Wrangler: Yes? Pak Narhoo: I spilled red bull on it! Wrangler: I fail to see the logic in blaming CCP for it... Pak Narhoo: People complain about WoW... Wrangler: Fair point. Pak Narhoo: So, I want it fixed! Wrangler: Well, hmm...oh! lifts finger and gives Pak Narhoo duct-tape Stick it on your ship as a counter-nano-nerf-device! Pak Narhoo: How on ea... Wrangler: Red bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiings!! Pak Narhoo: .... Wrangler: I know...
Kuar Z'thain Destructive Influence Band of Brothers	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:24:00 - [46] I started reading the first one and I honestly expected more parrot. Someone clue me in please... These are all great btw.
Jim McGregor	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:26:00 - [47] I support bashing Wrangler, its one of my favorite hobbies. --- Originally by: Roguehalo Can you nano Titans?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.13 17:54:00 - [48] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/08/2008 17:54:20 ding ding Wrangler: .... Customer: Hello? Wrangler: .... Customer: Umm, i want... Wrangler: .... Customer waves hand. Customer: Hello? I wish to complain? Wrangler: .... Customer: Umm... Wrangler: .... Customer reaches towards Wrangler with an extended finger. Wrangler: ERIS!!!! Customer falls down on the floor holding his chest. Wrangler walks to back of store: Eris, this cloaking device doesn't seem to work... Customer: a a....r... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Neth'Rae Gallente Decorum Inc Tygris Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.13 18:21:00 - [49] Oh god, these are great xD I can easily visualize everything in my head while reading it, hilarious :D Request signatures at EVE-GFX
JamnOne Amarr	Posted - 2008.08.13 18:35:00 - [50] Glad to see your back from Fishing... Thank You for the recent updates! After dealing with software companies and updates this morning I needed a good laugh. Didn't need to fall out of my chair, but I needed the laugh. I hate backward compatibility issues. ________________________ Originally by: CCP Wrangler So, it's all my fault. Originally by: CCP Prism X Hah! Vengeance is sweet!

JamnOne Amarr	Posted - 2008.08.13 18:36:00 - [51] Edited by: JamnOne on 13/08/2008 18:36:54 EDIT: Even the Eve software hates me and made me double post. ________________________ Originally by: CCP Wrangler So, it's all my fault. Originally by: CCP Prism X Hah! Vengeance is sweet!
Orogaldeo Amarr Star Horizons Rule of Three	Posted - 2008.08.13 18:42:00 - [52] can we have a strip about rats? that would be awesome :P ________________________________
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.13 18:50:00 - [53] Originally by: Orogaldeo can we have a strip about rats? that would be awesome :P A EVE-mentality-sort-a-person would ask ISKies for requests....lucky for you, i'm not! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Squeak. Wrangler: I see. And how was it yesterday? Customer: Squeak squeak. Wrangler: That is problematic. You want some form of a solution for this? Customer nods. Wrangler: Well certainly sir. Customer: Squeak squeak, squeak squeak squeak... Wrangler: Don't worry about it, it's quite harmless. Customer: Squeak! Wrangler: No no, my pleasure. Now just a moment. Wrangler goes to back of store and comes back after a moment. Wrangler: there we go, that should cure all your problems. Customer: Squeak squeak squeak, squeeeak! Squeak squeak! Wrangler: Oh you're too kind sir, fly safe now! ding ding Eris: Umm...wrangler? Wrangler: Yeah? Eris: Did i just see a rat scurry out with a freakin laser beam attached to its head? Wrangler: Actually it was a T2 tachyon beam laser. Eris: Right. Forget i asked. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.14 12:11:00 - [54] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Helloooo. I'm new, you know, a "noob" haha, i need a ship! Wrangler: Certainly sir and might i add what a fine choice you've made in your multiplayeristic ventures. Customer: Thank ya, thank ya. Sooo, what'ya got? Wrangler: Seeing as you are new to the world, may i suggest one of our rookie ships? Customer: Certainly! Sounds like a good idea. Wrangler: How about the Impairor, the standard of all starting Amarr pilots. Blast away your foes with your mighty lasers. Customer: I don't like it. Wrangler: Fine enough, how about the Ibis! Wreck havoc to your enemies with mighty missil Customer: No. It's ugly. Wrangler: Fair enough...oh this you'll like, the Velator. Training method of the droneprone pilots of the space. Your enemies won't even kn Customer: Nooot for me, no. Too much to manage. Wrangler: Very well...ok, ok, every childs dream...the Reaper! Ooooooh! Reap your enemies with your reaping reaper an Customer: Noo, too gloomy. Wrangler: Too gloomy?! For space!? Customer: Yes. I'd like something more chirpy. Wrangler: What, like a sparrow?! Customer: Oh yes! One of those please. Wrangler: We don't have ny freakin sparrows here!! Customer: Hmh. Fine. What do you have? Wrangler: I just told you, impairor, ibis, velator and the reaper. Customer: Nothing else? Wrangler: Well depends what you want to do... Customer: Pewpew! Wrangler: ...no. We don't. Customer: What about shuttles? Wrangler: What about them? Customer: Surely i can fly one of those. Wrangler: Yes, but you can't pewpew. Customer: Says who? Wrangler: Says the lack of guns! Customer: Minor defect. Wrangler: Mino...minor defect?! How, in all that is holy, are you planning to hit anything without any guns?!? Customer: I'll ram 'em. Wrangler: ...what? Customer: I'll ram 'em hard. Wrangler: .... Customer: From behind. Wrangler: Out. Customer: And then i'll ram 'em again! Wrangler: GET OUT!!! Customer is pushed out to the street. Wrangler: ngh...i hate checks watch....thursdays. I hate thursdays. Customer peeks thorugh door: "What about PODs?" My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Roshan longshot Gallente Ordos Humanitas	Posted - 2008.08.14 13:12:00 - [55] Sheriff Jones, you made my day. But been looking for Wrangler or Eris to poke their nose in the thread.... Damn you CCP! Why did you have to make such a good game?? Yes you drew me back AGAIN! Oh well wheres the Omber?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.14 13:16:00 - [56] Originally by: Roshan longshot Sheriff Jones, you made my day. But been looking for Wrangler or Eris to poke their nose in the thread.... I haven't My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Tratis Sykes Gallente Heavy Industry Technology and Logistics	Posted - 2008.08.14 13:36:00 - [57] This is great stuff, Sheriff. Had to fight not starting to laugh out loud here at work. What happend to your friday petitions btw? Haven't seen them for a while. Keep on with it Sir! Sir! .. We are completly surrounded!! - Excelent! Then we can attack in every direction!
The Wounded Gallente Center for Advanced Studies	Posted - 2008.08.14 13:53:00 - [58] U'r missing one about big fleet battles between nap-fests losing ships to lag
Neth'Rae Gallente Decorum Inc Tygris Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.14 18:13:00 - [59] It just keeps getting better, the last one was hysterical :D Dey see me trollin, dey hatin, moddin they tryin to catch me postin dirty..
Gerog Gallente Ashen Lion Mining and Production Consortium Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.08.15 01:59:00 - [60] This is funny. Congrats on bringing some humor into a dull day Those that came before us are our bridge into history, but we must move forward and never forget the lessons of the past.

Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.08.15 02:13:00 - [61] ... Wow... How did i miss these the first time around? Amazing.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.22 09:42:00 - [62] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 22/08/2008 09:43:45 (Been busy, sorry for the lack of stuff ) Customers behind the door of shop: Rabble rabble rabble!! Wrangler: Rabble rabble...wait a minute..oh yeah...goes to open store ding ding Wrangler: Waaait for it! ding ding Wrangler: Bloody hell...goes behind counter ding... Customer: Now? Wrangler: Yeah, ok. Ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Ay have ah compliin! Wrangler: Compliin? Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Excuse me but...what's compliin? Customer: A compliin! Avirse! I wish to notifyy jyy of ah pryblem! Wrangler: Aaah... a complaint. Customer: That's what ay sayed! Wrangler: Riight. Ok then, what do you wish to comp....compliint about? Customer: Look... jyy making fun ah me? Wrangler: Oh not at all sir. Do go on. Customer: Hmh, fine. Ay wish to compliin about phones. Wrangler: Phones sir? Customer: Phones phones! Things that go ziiiiim and flyy at tings! Wrangler: Err...drones? Customer: YES! did ay stutter?!! Wrangler: Oh no sirhihi, not at all. Right, krhm, what seems to be the problem with your phones? Customer: They dyn listen! They go ziim and peepee at things ay dinnay say them ta go at... Wrangler: Krhm... Customer: The phones, they go and then they retirn and then they peepee all over the cargobyy... Wrangler: Haha...erhm... Customer: Someting...funney? Wrangler: Oh not at all sir...krhhm...,bad cough puckers Customer: Hmm...right. Well, as ay sayed... Wrangler: Mhmm... Customer: As..ay...sayed...the phones... Wrangler: Krh..mh... Customer: They peepee... Wrangler: Ahah...krhm... Customer: Look! What is this?! Is this CiyCiyPee or some neubie chanTl?! Wrangler: Ahahahahhaha! Customer: Outragious! How dare jyy!! Wrangler falls over holding his sides. "Ahaha!!!" Customer: Ay will not stand here with may phones and take this! Ay shall go elsewhere with may peepee pryblem!! Wrangler: AAAaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ding ding! Eris: What the hell is going on here? Wrangler: Nything! rolls on floor laughing My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.22 15:15:00 - [63] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 22/08/2008 15:20:17 (Can...not....resist! ) ding ding Navigator: Hello and yada yada....whadda'ya want? Customer: Umm..hi..where's wrangler? Navigator: He's not here, get on with it. Customer: Err...i'd like to complain? Navigator: Ofcourse you do. Shoot. Customer: Well i was wondering if the forumwhin Navigator: Locked! Next? Customer: Umm...well i was curious on the dev blog th Navigator: Locked!! Next complain? Customer: ... Navigator: Well go on, we ain't got all day. Customer: Well the na Navigator: Locked! Then? Customer: I don't wanna complain anymore! Navigator: Why not? Customer: You'll just lock it! Navigator: I won't. Customer: You will! You just do it to be mean! Navigator: I never! Customer: ...promise? Navigator: Cross my pod and hope to pop. Customer: Ok. You sure? Navigator: Absolutely. Customer: I was wondering... Navigator: Hmm? Customer: About if the...winces Navigator: Go on. Customer: If the...the future a.... Navigator: ... Customer: Future ambul Navigator: LOCKED!!!! Customer: You lied!! Navigator: Last time. Honest. Customer: No!! Navigator: Oh come on!! Customer: No! I don't want to be locked again. Navigator: Honestly, all bets off, no lies, no fooling, abso-100%-lutely i won't lock it. Go ahead. Customer: ...i... Navigator does puppy eyes. Customer: Fine. But you better not. Navigator: CCP as my witness. Customer: Ok. Here goes. A Navigator: LOOOOOOOOOOCKED!!! It's goooood!!!! Customer: ACH! Goodbye! ... Customer: ...sir... Navigator: Myes? Customer: Could you unlock this door? (runs far far away from forums) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Colonel Apocalypse	Posted - 2008.08.22 15:22:00 - [64] Edited by: Colonel Apocalypse on 22/08/2008 15:24:52 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Zzzzz....zzzzz.... ding ding! Wrangler: Hu wh welcome to help! How may i CCP you? thinks Yeah! Customer: Oh i think you've CCP'd me enough. 1st post in a long time to make me lol . Thx EDIT Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: Go...ne...fis...hi...ng!! hangs sign on door Ok now i'm tears in my eyes and i can't stop .
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.22 15:42:00 - [65] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 22/08/2008 15:41:56 Originally by: Colonel Apocalypse I wonder if Wrangler likes them . I honestly don't know if i wanna find out Or Navigator... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Takon Orlani Caldari Chaos Monkeys Monkey Religion	Posted - 2008.08.22 16:42:00 - [66] Is this an EVE tribute to Monty Python?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.22 17:47:00 - [67] Originally by: Takon Orlani Is this an EVE tribute to Monty Python? Aye the original CCP Shop sketch, way back when, was inspired by MP. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.08.22 17:56:00 - [68] This whole thing is awesome. Quote: If you like playing EvE, but don't like to PvP ... Maybe it's time you recognize that you don't really like to play EvE.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2008.08.23 12:40:00 - [69] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 23/08/2008 12:40:24 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Noob! Wrangler: Excuse me sir? Customer: No you! Wrangler: I don't quite follow... Customer: Wow is that way!! points Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Dude! Your face! Wrangler: Riight...goes to backroom Customer runs around the shop waving fingers; "Pew pew! pew pew!" Wrangler comes back. Customer: Nerf nerf nerf!! LOL!!! Wrangler: Say cheese. Customer: Can i have your stuZrzzzzzzzzzzzt!! poof Wrangler: Sigh..cleans up dust from floor and drops to big bin labeled "Forumites" My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Concorduck Gallente	Posted - 2008.08.23 13:02:00 - [70] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 23/08/2008 12:40:24 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Noob! Wrangler: Excuse me sir? Customer: No you! Wrangler: I don't quite follow... Customer: Wow is that way!! points Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Dude! Your face! Wrangler: Riight...goes to backroom Customer runs around the shop waving fingers; "Pew pew! pew pew!" Wrangler comes back. Customer: Nerf nerf nerf!! LOL!!! Wrangler: Say cheese. Customer: Can i have your stuZrzzzzzzzzzzzt!! poof Wrangler: Sigh..cleans up dust from floor and drops to big bin labeled "Forumites" true story ----------------------------------------- Originally by: Crumplecorn Contact the CSM about it, voting themselves into disbandment wouldn't be pushing the boundaries of absurdity for them.

Ngwee Gallente Uninvited Guests Obsidian Empire	Posted - 2008.08.23 15:12:00 - [71] I laughed. Good stuff.
Kweel Nakashyn Minmatar Aeden	Posted - 2008.08.23 17:21:00 - [72] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might i assist you? lol, pure gold Fetchez la vache !
Kweel Nakashyn Minmatar Aeden	Posted - 2008.08.23 17:27:00 - [73] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: Mino...minor defect?! How, in all that is holy, are you planning to hit anything without any guns?!? Customer: I'll ram 'em. Wrangler: ...what? Customer: I'll ram 'em hard. Wrangler: .... Customer: From behind. lol Fetchez la vache !
Kweel Nakashyn Minmatar Aeden	Posted - 2008.08.23 17:32:00 - [74] Why didn't you do that : Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 23/08/2008 12:40:24 ding ding Customer: First ! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? (...) Fetchez la vache !
yosef kaldhu Sarz'na Khumatari Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2008.08.23 19:02:00 - [75] awesome pure awesome cant wait for more loved the rat sketch haha
Jarunik	Posted - 2008.08.23 19:27:00 - [76] Awesome. I really enjoy them. Go on. :)
Tippia Caldari School of Applied Knowledge	Posted - 2008.08.23 19:31:00 - [77] I wonder… …is there any time left over in the FanFest schedule to sneak in some live performance?
Disteeler Primera Fundacion	Posted - 2008.08.23 19:34:00 - [78] ahaha can't stop laughing: Customer: I bought EVE! Wrangler: I'm sorry for your loss... Customer: Huh? Wrangler: I mean, go on. XDDDDDDD
Kane Rizzel NovaKane Incorporated	Posted - 2008.08.23 22:45:00 - [79] Awesome stuff, really cheered me up, now I don't have to kick a puppy A Pirates Perspective
Helios III	Posted - 2008.08.23 23:14:00 - [80] Congratulations on saving the forums for awhile good sir.

Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.08.24 00:09:00 - [81] Sheriff Jones. A true forum Super Hero. o7 if only he had a pen... [cue background Wrangler 'Doctor Evil' laugh track] Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
BiggestT Caldari Space Oddysey Pupule 'Ohana	Posted - 2008.08.24 02:50:00 - [82] Edited by: BiggestT on 24/08/2008 02:52:59 Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding! Wrangler: Hello and w ding ding! Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners...goes back to reading (Sometimes short ones just work ) LOL gold edit: and added to sig lol poudly annoying fc's since 2007 Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding! Wrangler: Hello and w ding ding! Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners...goes back to reading
Sheriff Jones Amarr Viziam	Posted - 2008.08.24 07:20:00 - [83] Originally by: Roy Batty68 if only he had a pen... [cue background Wrangler 'Doctor Evil' laugh track] I have one, made of Wranglonite, in an Isogen Casing, lowjacked and non-hacked, not cracked and pattywhacked it writes fine and it's all mine and something that Wrangler will pine, like for the fjords My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

CCP Wrangler	Posted - 2008.08.25 23:35:00 - [84] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Roy Batty68 if only he had a pen... [cue background Wrangler 'Doctor Evil' laugh track] I have one, made of Wranglonite, in an Isogen Casing, lowjacked and non-hacked, not cracked and pattywhacked it writes fine and it's all mine and something that Wrangler will pine, like for the fjords I'll just send my minions to steal that pen too. Wrangler Community Manager CCP Hf, EVE Online Email

Jana Clant New Dawn Corp New Eden Research	Posted - 2008.08.25 23:53:00 - [85] ^^ Still haven't learned that if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself? New Eden Research, where science is serious business!
stadshage Caldari Universal Star Final Retribution Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.26 00:54:00 - [86] great stuff really made my night really need to know the stuff ya smoke or shrooms you eat
Jana Clant New Dawn Corp New Eden Research	Posted - 2008.08.26 01:01:00 - [87] Originally by: stadshage great stuff really made my night really need to know the stuff ya smoke or shrooms you eat He doesn't need to take anything, he's just Sheriff Jones, the most awesomely awesome awesomeness poster of the entire EVE-O forums! 9 out of 10 blueprints prefer New Eden Research!
Brigsby5987 Caldari 32nd Amarrian Imperial Navy Regiment.	Posted - 2008.08.26 01:07:00 - [88] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding! Wrangler: Hello and w ding ding! Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners...goes back to reading (Sometimes short ones just work ) LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL /EPIC THREAD __________________________________________ When Will I be able to post again ? 13 days, 23 hours, 55 minutes, 36 seconds
Daelin Blackleaf Aliastra	Posted - 2008.08.26 01:26:00 - [89] Best content this forum has seen in a long time.
Megan Maynard Minmatar 7th Cav	Posted - 2008.08.26 02:04:00 - [90] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 23/08/2008 12:40:24 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Noob! Wrangler: Excuse me sir? Customer: No you! Wrangler: I don't quite follow... Customer: Wow is that way!! points Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Dude! Your face! Wrangler: Riight...goes to backroom Customer runs around the shop waving fingers; "Pew pew! pew pew!" Wrangler comes back. Customer: Nerf nerf nerf!! LOL!!! Wrangler: Say cheese. Customer: Can i have your stuZrzzzzzzzzzzzt!! poof Wrangler: Sigh..cleans up dust from floor and drops to big bin labeled "Forumites" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mspaine JinTech Industries Utterly Harmless	Posted - 2008.08.26 03:37:00 - [91] i.... demand.... MOAR!!!!!
Arvald Caldari Ninjas N Pirates Pirate Coalition	Posted - 2008.08.26 04:34:00 - [92] oh man these are awesome, do one abou mintal
Sharupak Minmatar Brutor tribe	Posted - 2008.08.26 04:44:00 - [93] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 22/08/2008 15:20:17 (Can...not....resist! ) ding ding Navigator: Hello and yada yada....whadda'ya want? Customer: Umm..hi..where's wrangler? Navigator: He's not here, get on with it. Customer: Err...i'd like to complain? Navigator: Ofcourse you do. Shoot. Customer: Well i was wondering if the forumwhin Navigator: Locked! Next? Customer: Umm...well i was curious on the dev blog th Navigator: Locked!! Next complain? Customer: ... Navigator: Well go on, we ain't got all day. Customer: Well the na Navigator: Locked! Then? Customer: I don't wanna complain anymore! Navigator: Why not? Customer: You'll just lock it! Navigator: I won't. Customer: You will! You just do it to be mean! Navigator: I never! Customer: ...promise? Navigator: Cross my pod and hope to pop. Customer: Ok. You sure? Navigator: Absolutely. Customer: I was wondering... Navigator: Hmm? Customer: About if the...winces Navigator: Go on. Customer: If the...the future a.... Navigator: ... Customer: Future ambul Navigator: LOCKED!!!! Customer: You lied!! Navigator: Last time. Honest. Customer: No!! Navigator: Oh come on!! Customer: No! I don't want to be locked again. Navigator: Honestly, all bets off, no lies, no fooling, abso-100%-lutely i won't lock it. Go ahead. Customer: ...i... Navigator does puppy eyes. Customer: Fine. But you better not. Navigator: CCP as my witness. Customer: Ok. Here goes. A Navigator: LOOOOOOOOOOCKED!!! It's goooood!!!! Customer: ACH! Goodbye! ... Customer: ...sir... Navigator: Myes? Customer: Could you unlock this door? (runs far far away from forums) _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 06:00:00 - [94] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 26/08/2008 06:06:06 Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 26/08/2008 06:00:25 Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Roy Batty68 if only he had a pen... [cue background Wrangler 'Doctor Evil' laugh track] I have one, made of Wranglonite, in an Isogen Casing, lowjacked and non-hacked, not cracked and pattywhacked it writes fine and it's all mine and something that Wrangler will pine, like for the fjords I'll just send my minions to steal that pen too. Ach!! No! runs away My pen, you stole two of these already and this one is mine! "moar" coming today, hold on/hide your panties And fyi, for those wondering about my meds/smoking habits and/or substances used, check my title and corporation ingame. Should explain My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:03:00 - [95] This came to me in a dream...a dream about puppies...and fluffy bears that go "Rawr!" at my thong waving behind. Anyway! ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I have a bit of a problem. Wrangler: That's what i'm here for, to help! looks at camera What? Customer: Who you talking to? Wrangler: Noone. Now, your problem? Customer: I can't log into EVE. Wrangler: Hmm, well that IS a problem. Customer: Yes, any ideas? Wrangler: You have the latest version of EVE? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: You have the necessary comp-power to run EVE? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: You have set up your wife as needed, infront of "Desperate Housewives Complete Season 1" and put the kids infront of the xbox? Customer: Would a PS3 do? Wrangler: In an emergency. Customer: Then yes. Wrangler: You've cleared the cache? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Cleared the settings? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Cleared the trash? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Glass separately? Customer: Ofcourse. Wrangler: Have a keyboard and mouse attached to the computer? Customer: Yup. Wrangler: Hmm...lemme check something... Customer: Certainly. Wrangler: Ok, have you made sure you have enough space on the computer for cache and such? Customer: Certainly! I just put in a new harddrive. Wrangler: Hmm? Customer: Just bought a new fresh harddrive so there's no problem with space. Wrangler: Sir, i'm bound by our protocols to ask this, i know it's silly... Customer: Go ahead. Wrangler: did you re-install EVE? Customer: Excuse me? Wrangler: Did you, after intalling a new harddrive, install EVE on your computer? Customer: Oooh, no. Wrangler: ....what? Customer: No, i haven't. is that a problem? Wrangler: Is that a...!...no Sir. It's no problem. Nope. Not at all. Customer: Well my character is stored at your end so i thought... Wrangler: I'll show yoiu our "end" alright...walks to backroom Customer: Sir? Wrangler: ... Customer: Hellooo? Can you fix the problem? Wrangler walks out carrying a 1400mm howitzer; "Oh yeah! I've got fix for ya!" Customer: ... Wrangler: Now hold still while i fix the problem for good. Customer runs! Wrangler: Oh come on!! Lemme reboot your system!!! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
hendo001 Caldari White Star Ltd Mjolnir Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:09:00 - [96] LOL! pure win :) lol
Shadow Sapphire	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:12:00 - [97] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Customer: la...la... Wrangler: Las Palmas? La cucaracha? Lactating? Nice one . Keep it up .
Glengrant TOHA Heavy Industries	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:18:00 - [98] ROTFL. You have just saved this awful piece of whining trash that is called General Discussions. I, as a paying customer, was about to demand that this forum section be nerfed into non-existence. And expected (being a paying customer and therefore king and all) that demand to be implemented right away on pain of Eve otherwise dying right away and me (and a zillion friends and random folks I met in local once) quitting. But thanks to this shiny thread (the first this month or this quarter?) this section may zombie on for a while. Thanks man --- ISK BUYER = LOOSER EVE TV- Bring it back!
Glengrant TOHA Heavy Industries	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:30:00 - [99] Originally by: Daelin Blackleaf Best content this forum has seen in a long time. Only content this forum has seen in a long while. CPP nerf Whining already. It's way too overpowered. There's no pre-requisite skills, rank is (what were you thinking?) 0 and comes free with every account. Not even any trial phase restrictions. Yet to those affected it destroys countless hour of available time. Also no stacking penalties. Hardly any effective counter-measures. Some people have tried Reason but it stands no chance against Whining. And how is it fair that Reason needs pre-reqs like Taking-A-Moment-To-Think and such. Make people pay for starting threads. At least 10 m ISK per thread. 1 m per reply. 1 free thread per quarter, 1 free reply per month. Hey - at the least this would also be a nice isk sink. ;-) --- ISK BUYER = LOOSER EVE TV- Bring it back!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 07:33:00 - [100] LUNCH BREAK!!! Wrangler grabs his guitar CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... You ever nerfed so much you thought your little POD was gonna break in two? I didn't think so. You ever scream with all your might and strength to get you nano back to you? I wanna hope so. You ever flame with all your heart and soul just to watch it taken away? CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. CCP did a bad bad thing, feel like flaming, feel like whining. You ever tried to balance a game to fit all the whining noobs? I don't think so. You ever curse and say your leaving cause they nerfed the ship you love? Well if you say so. It hurts so bad when you finally know just how low, low, low, low, low, posters go. CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. CCP did a bad bad thing, feel like flaming, feel like whining. Ohh. feel like whining, feel like flaming. Ohh, feel like shouting, feel like crying. (guitar solo) CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Jana Clant New Dawn Corp New Eden Research	Posted - 2008.08.26 11:09:00 - [101] Originally by: Glengrant CPP nerf Whining already. It's way too overpowered. There's no pre-requisite skills, rank is (what were you thinking?) 0 and comes free with every account. Not even any trial phase restrictions. Don't mean to be pedantic, but trial accounts can't post on General Discussion. 9 out of 10 blueprints prefer New Eden Research!
Astria Tiphareth Caldari 24th Imperial Crusade	Posted - 2008.08.26 11:23:00 - [102] Absolute gold. Keep 'em coming Sheriff. Though your dreams continue to scare - bears going rawr at your thong... TMI ___ My views may not represent those of my corporation or alliance, which is why I never get invited to those diplomatic parties...
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 12:10:00 - [103] Someone suggested i should start selling "guest star" places into these Oh ye of little faith in free entertainment! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Arte AFK	Posted - 2008.08.26 13:05:00 - [104] Great stuff Sheriff. Not come across this thread before today, had a good giggle. Missus is wondering what on earth I'm laughing at but there's no explaining Eve to her, I might as well try to explain the off-side rule in football.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 14:26:00 - [105] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 26/08/2008 14:27:17 Originally by: Arte Missus is wondering what on earth I'm laughing at but there's no explaining Eve to her, I might as well try to explain the off-side rule in football. ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer(female): Are you in charge of this place!? Wrangler: Doubtful, but i am the one here. Customer: I want to speak to someone in charge! Wrangler: Er...just a moment. Wrangler walks to the backroom. Wrangler walks back out. Wrangler: How may i help you mam? Customer: Aren't you the same person that was here just now? Wrangler: Oh no, that's Wrangler, i'm...Bill. Yes, Bill. Customer: I don't care if your name is Peter Pansy, are you in charge?! Wrangler: Yes mam i am, in charge i am. Ra ta ta tan. Customer: This is no laughing matter! I want to complain! Wrangler: Certainly mam, what about? Customer: About this "game" of yours! Wrangler: Finest in the industry. Customer: Oooh don't get smart with me, it's ruining my marriage! Wrangler: Oh heavens no, how so? Ain't i poetic today, go wrangler go! Err...go bill go! Customer: All my hubby does is play play play, EVE this, EVE that, EVE here and EVE there! Wrangler: That's marvelous! Customer: No it's not! Wrangler: It isn't? Customer: NO! Wrangler: Ah shame, have to change our website. "EVE - Worlds largest, but not so marvelous, game universe." Customer: Look, are you here to make fun of me or will you help me?! Wrangler: Which answer would make you stop shouting at me? Customer: I want you to make it so that my husband doesn't play that much anymore. Wrangler: ...and what do you suggest i do? Customer: Anything!! Wrangler: Again with the shouting, gees...fine...hmm. Customer: Well?! Wrangler: Hold on a minute! Customer: Don't shout at me!!! Wrangler: Look. Mam. I have a solution for you, but you won't like it. Customer: Anything to get my man off that damn computer. Wrangler: You sure? I'm telling you, you won't like it. Customer: Just tell it! Wrangler: Ok. leans over whispers whispers some more...and then you just roll him over and presto! Customer slaps Wrangler and storms out. Wrangler: ...told you. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Thea Arsoniztik Red Tides	Posted - 2008.08.26 15:14:00 - [106] May I suggest some topics? -Salvage theft -CAOD -High Sec Mission Running -FW -Petitions
Arox Dax Chaos Coalition The Covenant Alliance	Posted - 2008.08.26 15:22:00 - [107] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Customer: Look, are you here to make fun of me or will you help me?! Wrangler: Which answer would make you stop shouting at me? Oh I can so Sympathise with Wrangler there :) And keep up the good work Sheriff, pure gold sir
Locke DieDrake Human Information Virus	Posted - 2008.08.26 15:31:00 - [108] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 26/08/2008 14:27:17 ~~~ Wrangler: Look. Mam. I have a solution for you, but you won't like it. Customer: Anything to get my man off that damn computer. Wrangler: You sure? I'm telling you, you won't like it. Customer: Just tell it! Wrangler: Ok. leans over whispers whispers some more...and then you just roll him over and presto! Customer slaps Wrangler and storms out. Wrangler: ...told you. Oddly enough, I got a very similar response from my wife when I told her how to get me away from EVE. ______________________________________________ Goon FC(08/12/06):"its a trap" "that thing is fully operational"
Jacob Mei	Posted - 2008.08.26 15:57:00 - [109] Good stuff. Do one on L4 missions. -------------------------------- To borrow a phrase: Players who post are like stars, there are bright ones and those who are dim.

CCP Navigator C C P	Posted - 2008.08.26 16:02:00 - [110] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 22/08/2008 15:20:17 (Can...not....resist! ) ding ding Navigator: Hello and yada yada....whadda'ya want? Customer: Umm..hi..where's wrangler? Navigator: He's not here, get on with it. Customer: Err...i'd like to complain? Navigator: Ofcourse you do. Shoot. Customer: Well i was wondering if the forumwhin Navigator: Locked! Next? Customer: Umm...well i was curious on the dev blog th Navigator: Locked!! Next complain? Customer: ... Navigator: Well go on, we ain't got all day. Customer: Well the na Navigator: Locked! Then? Customer: I don't wanna complain anymore! Navigator: Why not? Customer: You'll just lock it! Navigator: I won't. Customer: You will! You just do it to be mean! Navigator: I never! Customer: ...promise? Navigator: Cross my pod and hope to pop. Customer: Ok. You sure? Navigator: Absolutely. Customer: I was wondering... Navigator: Hmm? Customer: About if the...winces Navigator: Go on. Customer: If the...the future a.... Navigator: ... Customer: Future ambul Navigator: LOCKED!!!! Customer: You lied!! Navigator: Last time. Honest. Customer: No!! Navigator: Oh come on!! Customer: No! I don't want to be locked again. Navigator: Honestly, all bets off, no lies, no fooling, abso-100%-lutely i won't lock it. Go ahead. Customer: ...i... Navigator does puppy eyes. Customer: Fine. But you better not. Navigator: CCP as my witness. Customer: Ok. Here goes. A Navigator: LOOOOOOOOOOCKED!!! It's goooood!!!! Customer: ACH! Goodbye! ... Customer: ...sir... Navigator: Myes? Customer: Could you unlock this door? (runs far far away from forums) Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue Navigator Community Representative CCP Hf, EVE Online Email / Netfang


Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.26 16:28:00 - [111] Originally by: CCP Navigator Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue Durnit had me going for a while there My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Kash Ka Amarr Point of No Return Vanguard.	Posted - 2008.08.26 17:40:00 - [112] OMG rofl, this is pure gold. Please more more! --------------==============================-------------- Forgiveness is between you and god, im just here to arrange the meeting.
Manfred Rickenbocker The Elliance Delta.Green	Posted - 2008.08.26 18:06:00 - [113] This thread is made of awesome. May you be buried in kittens~ ------------------------ Peace through superior firepower: a guiding principle for uncertain times.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.27 11:26:00 - [114] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 27/08/2008 11:28:03 (Think there's a need for one again, you people are getting itchy with ya triggerfingers ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Is this the CCP? Wrangler: Does it say so on the door? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Did i say "welcome to the CCP"? Customer: Believe you did. Wrangler: Then no, this is the Wrangler Thongs Emporium, how may i pack your stuff? Customer: You're kidding right... Wrangler: I am. Now, you must have a problem. Customer: Actually no. Wrangler: No? Said he in astonishment. Customer: No, i came to say all's fine and dandy. Wrangler: Really? Customer: Yup, nothing to complain. Wrangler: Err...nice to hear? Customer: Isn't it! Wrangler: So, no lag complaint? Customer: Nope. Wrangler: No jita whine? Customer: Not at all. Wrangler: No nanonerf cry of battle? Customer: None of the sort. Wrangler: Not even a "could we have a slightly altered font if it doesn't bother you too much"? Customer: Can't say that i have. Wrangler: Well, umm...hold on a moment...walks to the backroom Eris! Eris: What?! Wrangler: There's a customer here without a complaint. Eris: Did you ask him about lag? Wrangler: Yeah, no such whine. Eris: Nano? Surely some nano complaint? Wrangler: He says he doesn't have one! Eris: Doesn't have..hold on! Eris and Wrangler walk back out. Eris: So you're saying you have absolutely nothing to complain about? Customer: Yup. I'm content with all the content. If you allow my pun of obvious nature. Wrangler: Told ya. Eris: Well i'll be...hold on a moment. Eris walks to the backroom Navigator!! Navigator: What?! Eris: There's a customer here without a complaint! Navigator: Did you ask ab.. Eris: Yes! No lag, jita or evne nano complaint! Navigator: Err...tell him that this is not allowed on the fo...that i'll lo...umm... Customer: So, what now? Wrangler: EVE...is...that way? Customer: Thank you! ding ding Wrangler: ...eris, we need more patches! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Beardponderer You're Doing It Wrong	Posted - 2008.08.27 13:24:00 - [115] Great stuff sheriff. You big, crazy, fool
Talon7649 The Graduates Morsus Mihi	Posted - 2008.08.27 14:32:00 - [116] /me puts on 13th pair of dry pants right im ready, next one.
Sneaky Tiger Minmatar Republic University	Posted - 2008.08.27 20:42:00 - [117] Quote: Navigator: Err...tell him that this is not allowed on the fo...that i'll lo...umm... ... Wrangler: ...eris, we need more patches! hahahahahahaa
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.08.27 20:52:00 - [118] sheriff deliveres! also DEAD POODLE! ;)
War Porcika Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team	Posted - 2008.08.28 05:58:00 - [119] This topic made my day!!
Grim Mercy Heretic Logistics Heretic Nation	Posted - 2008.08.28 06:50:00 - [120] Originally by: Sheriff Jones LUNCH BREAK!!! Wrangler grabs his guitar CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... CCP did a bad bad thing... You ever nerfed so much you thought your little POD was gonna break in two? I didn't think so. You ever scream with all your might and strength to get you nano back to you? I wanna hope so. You ever flame with all your heart and soul just to watch it taken away? CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. CCP did a bad bad thing, feel like flaming, feel like whining. You ever tried to balance a game to fit all the whining noobs? I don't think so. You ever curse and say your leaving cause they nerfed the ship you love? Well if you say so. It hurts so bad when you finally know just how low, low, low, low, low, posters go. CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. CCP did a bad bad thing, feel like flaming, feel like whining. Ohh. feel like whining, feel like flaming. Ohh, feel like shouting, feel like crying. (guitar solo) CCP did a bad bad thing, CCP did a bad bad thing. ...and +100 points to you for the first Chris Isaak reference I've seen in... god, what year is it? And you did it with one of my favorite songs, too. Kudos.

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.28 07:36:00 - [121] Originally by: Grim Mercy ...and +100 points to you for the first Chris Isaak reference I've seen in... god, what year is it? And you did it with one of my favorite songs, too. Kudos. Ta, rare care to dare there, i dare, 'cause i care And ta to all the rest too keeps the train rolling with.... You know what's coming... Wait for it... *ding ding!* Wrangler: Hello there and welcome t.... Customer: I don't like you. Wrangler: Excuse me? Customer: I don't like you, your company, the things you represent or the country you live in. Wrangler: Umm... Customer: I hate the way you greet people, the way you don't, the way you dress, look, your mother and the way she smells after it's been raining outside... Wrangler: A.. Customer: I especially hate the way you stand there, the way you fix things, the way you don't fix things, the way you TRY to fix things and the way that things don't get fixed even if they are fixed... Wrangler: I.. Customer: I practically LOATHE the way you spell your company name, the way you spell your name, the way this place has almost an indefinite smell of urine wafting around like a homeless person just thought he'd landed in Urinals'R'Us... Wrangler sniffs and lifts a brow. Customer: Your face, your smell, your eyes, beady little things staring at me like a madman when infact i'm the only sane person aournd this freakin place! Wrangler blinks. Customer: I absolutely despise the way you people sit in your thrones and try to judge me and my ways while i try to make my own miserable life a little bit more interesting and atleast barely enjoyable. You sicken me, you disgust me, you make me want to vomit in my breakfast cereal and... Wrangler: Dare i ask....and? Customer: Aaand...looks behind Wrangler...you people change or something? Wrangler: Huh? looks around Customer: This is sony online entertainment right? Wrangler: Afraid not, this is CCP. Customer: Oh, sorry 'bout that. Wrangler: Quite alright sir. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.08.28 12:41:00 - [122] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Customer: This is sony online entertainment right? [/quote OH lol! But yeah, true in some weird way. Good job sheriff - have a dead poodle!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.28 12:51:00 - [123] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 28/08/2008 12:52:40 (A small break for something else) bang bang bang HeadTroll: Order order!! bangs his hammer more I now declare this official troll meeting in order. YoungTroll: You suck! HT: Save it for the forums! Troll 1: What we got on the agenda? HT: Today, we shall be invading the forums... Troll 2: At DT? HT: Ofcourse, we shall be invading with whines about jita. Troll 3: We did that last week! HT: Oh right right. Umm...shuffles papers...there we are. How to interact with the female species....no wait...shuffle shuffle Young Troll 2: Pervert! HT: Right, who said that?! frowns Save it for the forums! Now...today, ew shall invade the forums with...a whine about CCP income...inocom...incomipetanci with cust...cuta...custiomer rela...reltaion....how ccp sucks! T1: Here here! T2: Excellent! T3: I think they're kinda nice. HT: What?! T3: Well, they ain't THAT bad. HT shoots Troll 3 in the face with a gun. Ofcourse. T1 and T2 cheer. Young trolls nose drips(). HT: Now! CCP sucks, any ideas? T1: We could say they smell of poo. HT: No no, we need something flashy. T2: That they smell of flashers? HT: Not really getting it are you? Young Troll: We could tell their customer service is abysmal and how every other company in the MMO market does things in a way more efficient manner and how they should increase their revenue by creating valid content and NOT by creating content that appeals to the masses? T1: .... T2: .... HT: Smell of poo it is! Right. Send a message to all trolls via EVEmail, skype and/or pidgeons and get to work! bang bang bang My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.28 13:39:00 - [124] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 28/08/2008 13:40:12 (And just because, it can. Not. Die!) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'm here for my looks at camera Full Body Eris Discordia Poster! Wrangler: How peculiar. Customer: Aye, now hand it over with haste. Wrangler: I'm sorry to inform you sir, we don't have one. Customer: What? Wrangler: I saaaid, we don't have one. Customer: This is an OUTRAGE, i've been waiting for one for years! Wrangler: You sound familiar, do i know you? Customer: Err...no adjusts mustache Wrangler: You sound awfully like my arch-nemesis... Customer: Who on earth is that? Wrangler: Nevermind, must be nothing, now, as i said, no poster here. Customer: Any idea when it'll be done? Wrangler: Seeing as today is thursday, and tomorrow is friday, and that we haven't even thought about actually doing one....about...never? Customer: Blasted! You must! It's on...err...national security! Wrangler: A full body picture of a game character is a matter of national security? Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Dare i ask how? Customer: You dare. Wrangler: How? Customer: Because! Wrangler: Because of? Customer: Because it is. Wrangler: You're trying my patience here. Customer: i'm sorry takes hand off the big breasted passed out woman Wrangler: Look...this has gone far enough. If you want to get a Full Body Eris Discordia poster into manufacturing, you need to fill out this form, then i'll send it upstairs and see if they even want to consider this. Customer: Ah very fine! takes out a pen from an isogen container Wrangler: .... Customer: Errr... Wrangler: YOU!! Customer: TIMMY! Wrangler grabs a Heavy Missile Launcher from below the desk and FIRE!!... Customer: ... Wrangler: Damnit! reloads Please wait 10 seconds. Customer: So, seen any good movies lately? Wrangler: Nah, been here, reading mostly. Customer: Ah. Ordanance loaded bleep Customer: Time to run, cheerio! Wrangler fires a couple of missile after the customer. ding...BOOOM!...dung... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Orca04 Gallente Tactical Delivery	Posted - 2008.08.28 20:02:00 - [125] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 28/08/2008 13:40:12 (And just because, it can. Not. Die!) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'm here for my looks at camera Full Body Eris Discordia Poster! Wrangler: How peculiar. Customer: Aye, now hand it over with haste. Wrangler: I'm sorry to inform you sir, we don't have one. Customer: What? Wrangler: I saaaid, we don't have one. Customer: This is an OUTRAGE, i've been waiting for one for years! Wrangler: You sound familiar, do i know you? Customer: Err...no adjusts mustache Wrangler: You sound awfully like my arch-nemesis... Customer: Who on earth is that? Wrangler: Nevermind, must be nothing, now, as i said, no poster here. Customer: Any idea when it'll be done? Wrangler: Seeing as today is thursday, and tomorrow is friday, and that we haven't even thought about actually doing one....about...never? Customer: Blasted! You must! It's on...err...national security! Wrangler: A full body picture of a game character is a matter of national security? Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Dare i ask how? Customer: You dare. Wrangler: How? Customer: Because! Wrangler: Because of? Customer: Because it is. Wrangler: You're trying my patience here. Customer: i'm sorry takes hand off the big breasted passed out woman Wrangler: Look...this has gone far enough. If you want to get a Full Body Eris Discordia poster into manufacturing, you need to fill out this form, then i'll send it upstairs and see if they even want to consider this. Customer: Ah very fine! takes out a pen from an isogen container Wrangler: .... Customer: Errr... Wrangler: YOU!! Customer: TIMMY! Wrangler grabs a Heavy Missile Launcher from below the desk and FIRE!!... Customer: ... Wrangler: Damnit! reloads Please wait 10 seconds. Customer: So, seen any good movies lately? Wrangler: Nah, been here, reading mostly. Customer: Ah. Ordanance loaded bleep Customer: Time to run, cheerio! Wrangler fires a couple of missile after the customer. ding...BOOOM!...dung... this is great stuff, sent some isk your way
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.29 12:14:00 - [126] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 29/08/2008 12:14:06 Too kind Orca, too kind (One for the Startup) thunk thunk! Wrangler: We're not up yet! thunk thunk Wrangler: Wait a few minutes! thunk thunk Wrangler: Hold your horses! thunk thunk Wrangler: Wait a few minutes! Customer: You said that a few minutes ago! Wrangler: Misinformation by our information officer. Just a minute or so now. minute and 23 seconds later thunk thunk Customer: Oh come on! Wrangler: Just a moment! Customer: What are you doing in there?! Wrangler: Cleaning things up! thunk thunk thunk Wrangler: What?! Customer: I need to get in! It's cold and dark and lonely out here! Wrangler: Get a blanket, flashlight and a hooker! Customer: You support sex for cash?!?! Wrangler: Well you pay for your wives shoes don't ya? There ya go. thunk thunk thunk Wrangler: Who is it? Eris: Wrangler open this freaking door!! Wrangler: I don't know a Wrangler! Eris: This is Eris and you open this door right now!!! Wrangler: Eris went out to lunch! Come back in a few minutes! thunk thunk thunk Wrangler pulls open the door: WHAT?!!! Pizza delivery: It'll be 10 bucks. Wrangler: In iceland? Pizza delivery: Writer doesn't know the correct currency right now. Wrangler: Ah...here ya go. ding ding thunk thunk Wrangler: Just a few minutes! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Noir Seroc Caldari Sectron	Posted - 2008.08.29 15:57:00 - [127] Great stuff, keep em coming.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.08.29 16:26:00 - [128] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 29/08/2008 16:26:40 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and ...well you know...party-balloons. Customer: I would like to Wrangler: Complain. Customer: Yes... Wrangler: Alrighty. Customer: I would like to Wrangler: Complain. Customer: about Wrangler: The latest patch. Customer: ...yes. Wrangler: Alrighty, shoot. Customer: I find the Wrangler: Patch. Customer: to be Wrangler: Bad. Customer: and i Wrangler: Want. Customer: .... Wrangler: What? Customer: Could you stop Wrangler: That. Customer: Look i'm not in the Wrangler: Mood. Customer: ... Wrangler: Whaa-aat? Customer: Just stop Wrangler: it. Customer: If you're not going to Wrangler: Help. Customer: Then. Wrangler: I'll. Cusotomer: .... Wrangler: Hold for dramatic pause and....leave! ding ding Eris: Was that really Wrangler: Necessary? Eris: Don't even go there. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Kuar Z'thain Destructive Influence Band of Brothers	Posted - 2008.08.29 17:40:00 - [129] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler pulls open the door: WHAT?!!! Pizza delivery: It'll be 10 bucks. Wrangler: In iceland? Pizza delivery: Writer doesn't know the correct currency right now. It's Isk mate.
Hyperforce99 Gallente Infinite Covenant Lords of the Damned	Posted - 2008.08.30 17:12:00 - [130] I'll keep an eye on this one keep it up SJ --------------------------------------------- Somewhere beyond happyness and sadness, I need to calculate what creates my own madness o/

Hellraiza666 Beta House 2.0	Posted - 2008.08.30 20:22:00 - [131]
War Porcika Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team	Posted - 2008.08.30 20:41:00 - [132] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ... Customer: This is sony online entertainment right? Wrangler: Afraid not, this is CCP. Customer: Oh, sorry 'bout that. ...
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.08.30 21:08:00 - [133] Edited by: Ruze on 30/08/2008 21:09:30 I would like to commend the underhanded Boondock Saint's reference, if I may. Awesome move! For those of you that missed it, the next line is: "I'll tip her!" Quote: If you like playing EvE, but don't like to PvP ... Maybe it's time you recognize that you don't really like to play EvE.
royal killer Amarr The Funkalistic	Posted - 2008.08.30 23:59:00 - [134] This is seriously one of the best post's I've ever read Awesome job Sherrif! pure epic! Can't wait for more --------------------
Wannabehero Caldari Absolutely No Retreat	Posted - 2008.09.01 16:33:00 - [135] Originally by: Kuar Z'thain Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler pulls open the door: WHAT?!!! Pizza delivery: It'll be 10 bucks. Wrangler: In iceland? Pizza delivery: Writer doesn't know the correct currency right now. It's Isk mate. http://www.gocurrency.com/countries/iceland.htm And also, very amusing Sheriff, thanks for the lolz
Brugar	Posted - 2008.09.01 16:52:00 - [136] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/08/2008 17:54:20 ding ding Wrangler: .... Customer: Hello? Wrangler: .... Customer: Umm, i want... Wrangler: .... Customer waves hand. Customer: Hello? I wish to complain? Wrangler: .... Customer: Umm... Wrangler: .... Customer reaches towards Wrangler with an extended finger. Wrangler: ERIS!!!! Customer falls down on the floor holding his chest. Wrangler walks to back of store: Eris, this cloaking device doesn't seem to work... Customer: a a....r... Greatest. Ever.
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.01 17:08:00 - [137] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Eris: Was that really Wrangler: Necessary? Eris: Don't even go there. Good stuff, SJ.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 12:42:00 - [138] (Here we go again!) ding ding CCP: Hello there and welcome to the Wrangler! How can i help you? Customer: The server is down...no wait...what? Wrangler: Err...Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: The server is down. Wrangler: I know,, marvelous isn't it. Customer: No i want to play! Wrangler: You can play with me... Customer: No i want to play EVE you deviant! Wrangler: Oh come on. Customer: NO! Wrangler: Fine...what do you want? Customer: The server up. Wrangler: It is. Customer: Is it? It was just down... Wrangler: Oh it is. Customer: Ah, thank you. Wrangler: No problem! ding ding Wrangler: 3..2...1... ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the C Customer: You bastard! Wrangler: ...CP! How can i help you? Customer: The server isn't up! Wrangler: No sir, it's dramatic look to camera Patch day. Customer: You said it's up! Wrangler: Well the server is on our third floor. I work in second, ergo, it's up regarding my current position at CCP. Customer: ... Wrangler: So, anything else? Customer: I want the server running! Wrangler: Ah alright, i'll fix that right away. Customer: How long? Wrangler: Well, if you leave now, it should be done by the time you get to your login. Customer: Finally! ding ding Wrangler: Her name was lola, she was a cruiser, with turret on her hull an ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: ... Wrangler: Sir? Customer: ...the server... Wrangler: Ah yes. It's running fine now. Customer: Really? I wonder how as i can't login! Wrangler: No sir, it's dramatic look to camera Patch day. Customer: Stop saying that! Wrangler: But it is. Customer: You said you'd fix the server! Wrangler: You wanted the server running. Customer: Right!! Wrangler: Well i put it in a giant hamsterwheel and Customer: Hold up hold up...i didn't mean running literally! Wrangler: Well i only work here sir. Customer: Right. Look. You. I want to be able to login to the server, play EVE and have no interruptions, OK?! Wrangler: Ok. Customer: Well...? Wrangler: Well what? Customer: Are you gonna do it?! Wrangler: No sir, it's dramatic look to camera KABLOW!!! Customer falls down dead. Wrangler: ...patch day.
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.09.02 12:50:00 - [139] is it up, yet?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 12:55:00 - [140] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You can't. I'm quitting. Wrangler: Really? Customer: Yes really! Wrangler: Can i hav Customer: NO! Wrangler: sourpants, so, why you here be are?...is? Customer: I just wanted to personally let you know that i'm quitting, buggering off, disgusted, disappointed, disassembled all my ships, sold my stuff and burned my isk and now am on my way out the door with a huf and a "up yours!" echoing through the halls. Wrangler: Oh. Customer: Oh?! That's how much you care for your customers?! Wrangler: Oh gee? Customer: So you're saying it's all the same to you that i'm leaving?! Wrangler: Well, could i stop you? Customer: No! I'm fed up with this! Wrangler: So...i should care that you're leaving even if there's no point in caring? Customer: You should care about your customers BEFORE they leave! Wrangler: When did you inform of your leaving? Customer: Right now! Wrangler: Then how could i know that you're unhappy? Customer: 'cause i'm the customer and you should keep me happy! Wrangler: Want a titan? Customer: What? Wrangler: Worked with Bob... Customer: WHAT!!!? Wrangler: Kidding, kidding...you want one? Customer: What are you trying? Wrangler: look i got nice titans back there, all shiny and new, ready to be deployed. I'll put it in jjita for oyu? Customer: If this is some kind of ploy to get me back ingame... Wrangler: No ploy. Honest. It'll be waiting for you there. Customer: Right. Hmm....well....i'll go resubscribe but this better be true! Wrangler: Would i tell a lie? Customer: hmm..... ding ding Eris: You know he's coming back right.... Wrangler: I've always got Jove to "give".

Jerat Gallente Art of War Exalted.	Posted - 2008.09.02 15:55:00 - [141] Im loling so hard my 3 year old son is wondering what daddy is doing on the computer. Please let them coming so I have something to read on the nightshift.
Miyamoto Uroki Caldari KuhSchubsKlan	Posted - 2008.09.02 16:17:00 - [142] Awesome stuff. keep on Originally by: Puupuu dude... your face
Sergeant Spot Black Eclipse Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2008.09.02 17:02:00 - [143] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 23/08/2008 12:40:24 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Noob! Wrangler: Excuse me sir? Customer: No you! Wrangler: I don't quite follow... Customer: Wow is that way!! points Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Dude! Your face! Wrangler: Riight...goes to backroom Customer runs around the shop waving fingers; "Pew pew! pew pew!" Wrangler comes back. Customer: Nerf nerf nerf!! LOL!!! Wrangler: Say cheese. Customer: Can i have your stuZrzzzzzzzzzzzt!! poof Wrangler: Sigh..cleans up dust from floor and drops to big bin labeled "Forumites" I have a slight hunch that CCP's forum moderators would pay good money for that device..... Play nice while you butcher each other.
clonkrieger Imperium Forces Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2008.09.02 17:12:00 - [144] great thread... thumbs up! :) ___________________________ Returned after being absent. Updating...
Atherin Gaius Caldari Domini Umbrus Free Trade Zone.	Posted - 2008.09.02 17:37:00 - [145] This material is classic. I demand a sticky!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 18:08:00 - [146] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: The server ain't up! Wrangler: I have this strange sense of deja vu... Customer: It WAS supposed to be up ages ago! Wrangler: What's the problem? Customer: Look, i had a skill, it was supposed to finish right on time, but now the server is down still! Wrangler: Right! taps something on computer Done. Customer: What? Wrangler: Your skill, it's done. Customer: It WAS done! Wrangler: Oh, well, what's the problem then? Customer: Well i need to put a NEW skill! Wrangler: Aaah, no worries sir! taps more on the computer, does a little chacha and presses enter Done! Customer: WHAT?! Wrangler: You are now the proud trainer of Negotiation 1! Customer: Negotiation 1!! I don't even mission! Wrangler: You should. Customer: Why on earth?! Wrangler: Well kinda pointless to train negotiation 1 if you're not gonna mission. Pfft. Customer: But i wasn't! Wrangler: It's right here on the screen, flashing little cube, negotiation 1. Customer: But YOU changed it! Wrangler: Pish posh, technicalities and semantics. Customer: Look. I want you to change that skill to something useful! Wrangler: Right-o, customer is always right, mhm! salutes and taps on computer Customer: ... Wrangler: It's done. You can relax. Customer: I doubt it. What did you do? Wrangler: Changed your skill to something VERY useful. Customer: What is it? Wrangler: Spaceship command 1 sir. Customer: ...i already had spaceship command 5... Wrangler: Ah, well, then...oops? Customer: OOPS?! Wrangler: Well, i can't change it back now 'cause that would mean upgrading your skills to a higher level and we have rules against that sort of behaviour. Customer: Wh...h....but you downgraded me!! Wrangler: We have no rules to stop that sir. Customer: Look you fix this now or i'll Wrangler: Well look at that taps away you're learning mining 1 too. Customer: Hey! Stop that! I'm warn Wrangler: My my, leadership 1 even if you already have a command ship, how confident! Customer: ... Wrangler holds finger over keyboard: "Anything else sir?" Customer: No. I'm good. Could we have the server online? Please? Wrangler: It'll be up when it's up. Customer: Bu Wrangler: Electronics 1...? Customer: I'll go... ding ding Eris: You done with my account yer? Wrangler: Yup, but the server ain't up yet, so, i'll just pop out for a while. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Kakanur Amarr Exanimo Inc	Posted - 2008.09.02 18:16:00 - [147] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: The server ain't up! Wrangler: I have this strange sense of deja vu... Customer: It WAS supposed to be up ages ago! Wrangler: What's the problem? Customer: Look, i had a skill, it was supposed to finish right on time, but now the server is down still! Wrangler: Right! taps something on computer Done. Customer: What? Wrangler: Your skill, it's done. Customer: It WAS done! Wrangler: Oh, well, what's the problem then? Customer: Well i need to put a NEW skill! Wrangler: Aaah, no worries sir! taps more on the computer, does a little chacha and presses enter Done! Customer: WHAT?! Wrangler: You are now the proud trainer of Negotiation 1! Customer: Negotiation 1!! I don't even mission! Wrangler: You should. Customer: Why on earth?! Wrangler: Well kinda pointless to train negotiation 1 if you're not gonna mission. Pfft. Customer: But i wasn't! Wrangler: It's right here on the screen, flashing little cube, negotiation 1. Customer: But YOU changed it! Wrangler: Pish posh, technicalities and semantics. Customer: Look. I want you to change that skill to something useful! Wrangler: Right-o, customer is always right, mhm! salutes and taps on computer Customer: ... Wrangler: It's done. You can relax. Customer: I doubt it. What did you do? Wrangler: Changed your skill to something VERY useful. Customer: What is it? Wrangler: Spaceship command 1 sir. Customer: ...i already had spaceship command 5... Wrangler: Ah, well, then...oops? Customer: OOPS?! Wrangler: Well, i can't change it back now 'cause that would mean upgrading your skills to a higher level and we have rules against that sort of behaviour. Customer: Wh...h....but you downgraded me!! Wrangler: We have no rules to stop that sir. Customer: Look you fix this now or i'll Wrangler: Well look at that taps away you're learning mining 1 too. Customer: Hey! Stop that! I'm warn Wrangler: My my, leadership 1 even if you already have a command ship, how confident! Customer: ... Wrangler holds finger over keyboard: "Anything else sir?" Customer: No. I'm good. Could we have the server online? Please? Wrangler: It'll be up when it's up. Customer: Bu Wrangler: Electronics 1...? Customer: I'll go... ding ding Eris: You done with my account yer? Wrangler: Yup, but the server ain't up yet, so, i'll just pop out for a while. Lmao, awesome
Chris Liath Gallente Red Dwarf Mining Corporation space weaponry and trade	Posted - 2008.09.02 18:54:00 - [148] Sheriff Jones, have my manbabies.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 18:56:00 - [149] Originally by: Barry O'mass Edited by: Barry O''mass on 02/09/2008 18:51:45 don't know why but they made me think of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbvCRkl_4U good work :P Hehe, incidentally i've got a shopping ist on the works, but nothing THAT good
Mhorbaine Beyond Divinity Inc	Posted - 2008.09.02 19:13:00 - [150] damn been watchin this topic for days now n it just gets better - nicely done sir o7

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 19:16:00 - [151] (A little interlude) Eris: Navigator! NAVIGATORR!!! Wrangler: What's up Eris? Eris: Have you seen that damn NAvigator anywhere? Wrangler: Nope, can't say i have. Eris: I'm gonna kill that guy.... Wrangler enters office, looks below his desk; "You gonna go lock some threads soon?" Navigaotr plays with gameboy; "Nope. Let 'em rant. I'll clean it when the servers come up." End!
Sergeant Spot Black Eclipse Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2008.09.02 19:30:00 - [152] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (A little interlude) Eris: Navigator! NAVIGATORR!!! Wrangler: What's up Eris? Eris: Have you seen that damn NAvigator anywhere? Wrangler: Nope, can't say i have. Eris: I'm gonna kill that guy.... Wrangler enters office, looks below his desk; "You gonna go lock some threads soon?" Navigaotr plays with gameboy; "Nope. Let 'em rant. I'll clean it when the servers come up." End! lol, I opened this thread specificly to ask if you could do one about all the "server is not up" whines, and it was already here..... Play nice while you butcher each other.
Veryez	Posted - 2008.09.02 19:44:00 - [153] made my day, thanks
AlienHand	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:05:00 - [154] Crying while ROTFL !!! Damn good thread Sheriff. Kudos! EVE music by me : AlienHand.dk - now with mailling list
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:44:00 - [155] Sorry Sheriff .. my little try here :) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we.. o hi Explorer Explorer: Hi Wrangler: Aren't you support to be working on the patch? Explorer: Uhm ... thats today? runs ding ding -----
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:49:00 - [156] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 02/09/2008 20:50:00 I do take requests you know And also isk to speed that request up the chain cough But, since you already did done grab a topic from my list, lemme Jonesy it to "as should": ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we...Explorer? Explorer: Hi. Wrangler: What are you doing here? Explorer: Exploring. Wrangler: Shouldn't you be... Explorer: Yup. Wrangler: And you're just... Explorer: Yup. Wrangler: You here for the... Explorer: Mhm. Wrangler: Here ya go, been good talking to ya. Explorer: Sure. ding ding
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:54:00 - [157] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 02/09/2008 20:50:00 I do take requests you know And also isk to speed that request up the chain cough But, since you already did done grab a topic from my list, lemme Jonesy it to "as should": ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we...Explorer? Explorer: Hi. Wrangler: What are you doing here? Explorer: Exploring. Wrangler: Shouldn't you be... Explorer: Yup. Wrangler: And you're just... Explorer: Yup. Wrangler: You here for the... Explorer: Mhm. Wrangler: Here ya go, been good talking to ya. Explorer: Sure. ding ding gha .. i give up .. you rule :)
RagnhildR tu Caldari Rognvald Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:56:00 - [158] For crying out loud will someone please sticky this, it's just too good too be lost in the clutter

CCP Navigator C C P	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:57:00 - [159] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (A little interlude) Eris: Navigator! NAVIGATORR!!! Wrangler: What's up Eris? Eris: Have you seen that damn NAvigator anywhere? Wrangler: Nope, can't say i have. Eris: I'm gonna kill that guy.... Wrangler enters office, looks below his desk; "You gonna go lock some threads soon?" Navigaotr plays with gameboy; "Nope. Let 'em rant. I'll clean it when the servers come up." End! If only, man, if only.

Raimo Gallente Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.09.02 20:57:00 - [160] Hilarious Stuff, Jones! Thanks for all the laughs. ...And keep it up, please! ;)

Kazang Gallente KnightRaven Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.03 04:28:00 - [161] Originally by: Sheriff Jones HT shoots Troll 3 in the face with a gun. Ofcourse. T1 and T2 cheer. Young trolls nose drips(). This is awesome stuff, but you have to tell me what the reference is there, its so familiar, on the tip of my proverbial tongue. My brain is melting trying to remember it. Its driving me mad, I MUST KNOW! This whole thread is reminding me of terry prachett and monty python, especially the tacyhon rat one
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.03 07:46:00 - [162] Originally by: Kazang Originally by: Sheriff Jones HT shoots Troll 3 in the face with a gun. Ofcourse. T1 and T2 cheer. Young trolls nose drips(). This is awesome stuff, but you have to tell me what the reference is there, its so familiar, on the tip of my proverbial tongue. My brain is melting trying to remember it. Its driving me mad, I MUST KNOW! This whole thread is reminding me of terry prachett and monty python, especially the tacyhon rat one It's an old joke i believe, might be from Stargate, Jafa jokes and all. Not quite sure, it's buried deep into my brain I draw inspiration from plenty of places, monty python, terry pratchet, dougie adams, neil gaiman(even if not that "funny"), eddie izzard routines, etc etc. It's a very complex and weird brain in here. I'm just glad people like 'em and as long as people listen, stories must be told (all hail anansi ) Wow...deep...normal discussion...blasphemy! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Erhm..yes..err...i'm a player and i've been hunting those durn blasted angels for ages. Yes. Wrangler: Ah, ratting your cup of tea? Customer: Who you calling a rat?! I mean..err...yes. Wrangler: Riight..well. how can i help you? Customer: Those angel rats shoot very much explosive things at you and, well, i heard of these "resistance platings" you could fit on ships. Wrangler: Right, right. Basic resistance plating, active, uses little capacitor, give a nice boost to resistances on your ships armor. Customer: Splendid! Do you have them in explosive? Wrangler: We have them in all shapes and sizes good sir. Customer: I'd need some explosive, and to be sure, some kinetic, thermal and EM too. Wrangler: Right-o, and which type? Customer: Type? Wrangler: You want tech 1 or tech 2 or...? Customer: Tech 2? Wrangler: Yeah, you know, better then standard equipment you find? Customer: Ooh yes! This tech 2 sounds very nice. Wrangler: Alrighty. And how many? Customer: Hmm? Wrangler: How many would you need? Gees... Customer: Oh. Well, let's see...counts fingers...37.000. Wrangler: Excuse me? Did you say 37 THOUSAND? Customer: Each. Wrangler: Right...look...you're not palnning on anything naughty are you? We dno't stand for players doing naughty things. Customer: Not at all. I swear on my...pod...that no player shall be doing no naughty with these nods firmly Wrangler: Right. Well. The shipment will be ready in a day or so, where should these be sent? Customer: Angel Cartel. Wrangler: Excuse me?! Customer: Oh..er...kidding kidding! Haha, i made a joke you see? Wrangler: Grr...where do you want them? Customer: We'll send a ship to get them. Wrangler: Right. Here's your receipt and have a nice day. Customer: Oh i will! Bye!! ding ding Wrangler: Bunch of weirdos... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Thin Glass	Posted - 2008.09.03 09:08:00 - [163] Jaffa joke... A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose... drips.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.03 11:22:00 - [164] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 03/09/2008 11:23:37 (Roy Batty68, jsut for you ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Nerf suiciders! Wrangler: No..sod off. Customer: Nerf suiciders! Wrangler: I said no! Customer: err...nerf nano? Wrangler: Why? suspiciously Customer: Fast things hurt my head? Wrangler: Oh shut up... Customer: Ok ok, nerf...no no...CHANGE...concord response time! Wrangler: Because? Customer: Err....realism? Wrangler: Nothing to do with suiciders? Customer: Nope. Wrangler: I don't believe you. Sod. Off. Customer: Oh come on, nerf suiciders! Wrangler: NO! Customer: Please?! Wrangler: N and an O. Customer: Niu? Wrangler: NO! Customer: Fine. Wrangler: Anything else? Customer: Well, i guess not...no wait..err...how about, remove insurance from concorded ships? Wrangler: Sounds awfully lot like a suicider nerf. Customer: It's not, honest, it's a market balance. Isk sink. Err...puts thumbs up Wrangler: Fine, i'll remove it. Customer: Yei!! ding ding ding ding Wrangler: Hello and ...oh it's you. Customer: My ship just blew up. Wrangler: And? Customer: In highsec. Wrangler: ...and? Customer: i didn't get any insurance. Wrangler: Someone killed you? Customer: Technically. Wrangler: Define please. customer: I activated my smart bombs and the nearby ship dared invade my area of..err....lightshow. Wrangler: You suicided someone and didn't get insurance. Customer: To put it blunt. Wrangler: You just asked me to remove the insurance! Customer: Well not frmo MY ships. Wrangler: ... Customer: I should leave? Wrangler nods, slowly. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Moneeh Minmatar Pator Tech School	Posted - 2008.09.03 12:15:00 - [165] I'd send you a pack of cookies Sheriff but i always end up eating them myself :( Anywayz, great stuff!
Bloody McStrange	Posted - 2008.09.03 12:32:00 - [166] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 03/09/2008 11:23:37 (Roy Batty68, jsut for you ) ding ding <3
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.03 12:33:00 - [167] Originally by: Bloody McStrange Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 03/09/2008 11:23:37 (Roy Batty68, jsut for you ) ding ding <3 Stupid alt >< Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
Dantes Revenge Caldari	Posted - 2008.09.03 13:00:00 - [168] This is the best laugh I've had for a long time. Don't mean to steal you thunder Sheriff but someone has to stick up for poor Wrangler. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i.. Oh, it's you Sheriff Jones. Sheriff Jones: I've come to find out why I only have 2K skill points now. Wrangler: You made me look a complete fool on the public forums. Sheriff Jones: Aww, come on, it was just a few jokes. Wrangler: So I jokingly removed a few skill points. Sheriff Jones: But I was just joking, can't you take a joke at your expense? Wrangler: Pot... kettle... black. Sheriff Jones: Mumble... mumble... ding ding Eris: You know Oveur will go nuts if you don't re-instate those skill points. Wrangler: Yea but I'll let Jonesy stew for a while first. -- There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.09.03 19:26:00 - [169] You Jones represent the general tone of the forums more than the csm. XD sry, dudes.
Sydonis Caldari Xoth Inc	Posted - 2008.09.03 21:16:00 - [170] Still excellent, Jones... :) 1 free bump so people can find it more easily... :) Keep them coming.

Roshan longshot Gallente Ordos Humanitas	Posted - 2008.09.04 03:24:00 - [171] Thanks alot Jones....I should have been asleep already...here it is 11:30pm and I have to get up at 4:30am...its going to be along day...... Damn you CCP! Why did you have to make such a good game?? Yes you drew me back AGAIN! Oh well wheres the Omber?
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr RONA Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.04 04:54:00 - [172] Sheriff, you made my workday 100% better again _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.04 08:48:00 - [173] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 04/09/2008 08:49:25 Originally by: Roshan longshot Thanks alot Jones....I should have been asleep already...here it is 11:30pm and I have to get up at 4:30am...its going to be along day...... I do my best to ruin everyone elses workday while i stay up and think of things Dantes, excellent snipe, but you do know what this means ding ding Wrangler: Hello thre and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Dantes Revenge: I'd like to buy some stuff for my gallivanting ways. Wrangler: Certainly, what'll it be? Dantes Revenge: Some missiles for start. Wrangler: Rockets, standard...? Dantes Revenge: Heavy missiles. Wrangler: Right, and kinetic, explosive...? Dantes Revenge: Kinetic thank you. Wrangler: Kinetic heavy missiles. Right. Dantes Revenge: Assault. Wrangler: Hmm? Dantes Revenge: Heavy assault missiles. Wrangler: Right. Kinetic heavy assault missiles, got it goes to back room Dantes Revenge: Faction! Wrangler peeks back: 'xcuse me? Dantes Revenge: I'd like it to be faction. Wrangler: So, faction kinetic heavy assault missiles. Dantes Revenge: Right. Wrangler: That it? Dantes Revenge: Yup. Wrangler: Ok, be right back..disappears into the backroom rummaging noises more rummaging noises muffled curses Wrangler brings out a missile and slams it on table; Right, how many? Dantes Revenge: Oh oh oh! Wrangler: What?! Dantes Revenge: T2? Wrangler: .... Dantes Revenge: Could i have them in T2? Wrangler: T2 Faction kinetic heavy assault missiles? Dantes Revenge: Yup, that's it. Wrangler: Look, there's no T2 faction missiles. There's faction, there' T2, there's no Faction T2. Dantes Revenge: Oh. I don't want any then. Wrangler: ...what? Dantes Revenge: If they ain't t2 i don't want any. Wrangler: Well we DO have some T2 kinetic heavy assault missiles back there. Dantes Revenge: No, i don't want missiles anymore. You put me off them. Wrangler: I...right. Anything else? Dantes Revenge: Crystals? Wrangler: Size? Dantes Revenge: Medium. Wrangler: Frequency? Dantes Revenge: 99.5 khz. Wrangler: ... Dantes Revenge: 96.3? Wrangler: No. We don't have any. Dantes Revenge: Oh...i thought i saw some Wrangler: Nope. Those are windows. Dantes Revenge: Right...well...launchers? Wrangler sighs; Kind? Dantes Revenge: Snowball? Wrangler: No! Dantes Revenge: Homeless? Wrangler: NO!!! Dantes Revenge: Rocket? Wrangler: Yes! Now, t1, t2, faction? No t2 faction! Dantes Revenge: Pocket? Wrangler: Pocket..rocket...launcher? Dantes Revenge: Yes. Wrangler: Right, i'm gonna count to five and... Dantes Revenge: Bye! ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Neqa'el Uphir Aurora Logistics	Posted - 2008.09.04 10:13:00 - [174] awesome stuff. can u make some more with wow?
Kash Ka Amarr Point of No Return	Posted - 2008.09.04 10:22:00 - [175] Originally by: Neqa'el Uphir awesome stuff. can u make some more with wow? If u want wow jokes go play wow. --------------==============================-------------- Forgiveness is between you and god, im just here to arrange the meeting.
Neqa'el Uphir Aurora Logistics	Posted - 2008.09.04 10:26:00 - [176] Originally by: Kash Ka Originally by: Neqa'el Uphir awesome stuff. can u make some more with wow? If u want wow jokes go play wow. Why not jokes with ppl who are compare eve with wow or ppl who tell to other ppl "Go play wow" ;)
Nofonno Amarr Exploratio et Industria Morispatia	Posted - 2008.09.04 11:31:00 - [177] Very good material, got me plenty of laughs. If I may get a request, I'm craving something along the lines of "Romanes eunt domus" --- A scientist must be an optimist at heart - to have the strength to rally against a chorus of voices saying "it cannot be done".
Dantes Revenge Caldari	Posted - 2008.09.04 15:41:00 - [178] ROFLMAO nice comeback Sheriff. -- There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
JamnOne Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.04 16:29:00 - [179] You know Sheriff, I am probably going to lose my job since I make it a point to come here and read this thread everyday when I get to work. Ah screw it...gimme more more more!!! ________________ Poor is the nation that has no heroes. Shameful is the one that, having heroes - Forgets them! Author Unknown
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.05 07:20:00 - [180] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 05/09/2008 07:21:06 thud Wrangler: Oww... clickety ding ding Wrangler: Ngh... Wrangler walks over to the front desk, puts coffee on table and sits down. Wrangler proceeds to slam head on table. ding ding Wrangler: Mhmmh mhm mhm mmmhm mhmhhm! Hmhmhmmh mhm? Customer: Shouuld i come back later? Wrangler: No, no, i'm fine. Honeszzz...honest! Customer: You look, tired. Wrangler: Well...meh...no good comeback...drinks coffee Customer: Mind if i complain? Wrangler: Go right yawn ahead. Customer: Well i believe that the new Wranglers head nods. Customer: Ahehem! Wrangler: Whahuhzsnort Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How c Customer: Look i'll come back when you're awake. Wrangler: I'm awake i'm awake! blinks Customer: Right, well, in short i need a better gun. Wrangler: What's wrong with the yawn... the old gun? Customer: It doesn't hit hard enough. Wrangler: Fit two. Customer: No, even with 8 fitted, i can't damage other ships well enough. Wrangler: You Amarr? Customer: No, minmatar. Wrangler: Ah then it IS a problem. looks at camera Customer: Could you help? Wrangler: Sure, minmatar stretches you say? Customer: Yup. Wrangler: Certainly sir. slams a roll of ducttape on table Customer: Err... Wrangler: Tie two together, fit in slot, double firepower. yawns Buuhbye now. leans his head against his arms on table Customer: But...you sure that works? Wrangler: Zzzzz..... Customer: Right...err...bye? ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Ethidium Bromide ZEALOT WARRIORS AGAINST TERRORISTS Curatores Veritatis Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.05 08:22:00 - [181] HAHA! how come i only just found out about you today Mr Jones? great work! you should do some collected form of all those and charge isk Originally by: George Petsch Nochricht: Dei schwarer StroinlSser trifftn Karli[Baatzis] und ruiniert erm so richtig de Dosn, 1343.7 schhodn, oida.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.05 08:28:00 - [182] Originally by: Ethidium Bromide HAHA! how come i only just found out about you today Mr Jones? great work! you should do some collected form of all those and charge isk Nah, i do things pro bono, nto, "in grace of bono", but free, from the people to the people. If people want to shove their iskies in my wallet, i'm not one to rid them of that freedom though My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Arvald Caldari Ninjas N Pirates Pirate Coalition	Posted - 2008.09.05 08:49:00 - [183] oh i got it, do one about contract scamming (and me )
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.05 09:41:00 - [184] I never laughed so hard on a forum thread. Epic bump fer the funniest thread this side of the eve gate.... Keep it up SJ. Also made my night/morning more entertaining good stuff
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.05 09:43:00 - [185] bu bumpa bump bump
white kight SwEaTy ArMpIT RaIDeRs	Posted - 2008.09.05 09:45:00 - [186] OMG this is the best thread in the forum. This requires a sticky!!!!! Originally by: CCP Navigator Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.05 10:08:00 - [187] Originally by: Arvald oh i got it, do one about contract scamming (and me ) Well, i don't usually do much requests but...it's your funeral ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'm in need of a ship. Wrangler: Alrighty! Customer: A BIG ship. Wrangler: Most certainly sir. Customer: The biggest and large Wrangler: I get it, a **** off big ship. Customer: Ina nutshell. Wrangler: Anything else on it? Customer: Guns, bombs, mines, missiles, lasers, rails, tachyons, everything! Wrangler: Oh very nice sir. though mines are out, but for extra cost... Customer: ISK is no problem! Wrangler: Right. Let me just tap tap tap print print print(These are top notch sound effects man! -SJ) Wrangler: There! Just sign there and the biggest, meanest, most gunnified, terrifying and absoluuuuutely ridiculously unbalanced ship is yours! Customer: Oh yei! Is this... who's Arvald? Wrangler: cough Our legal department. He handles the ISK in a timely and fashionable manner and provides excellent delivery systems for all denizens of EVE. Customer: Ah ok. signs Thank you! Wrangler: Welcome! Come again! ding ding Wrangler: Muaha... ding ding Wrangler hides the contract; "Hello and welcome to the CCP! How can i Wrangler: ... Wrangler: ... Wrangler: Who the HELL are you?! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Stork DK Minmatar Synthetic Frontiers	Posted - 2008.09.05 17:00:00 - [188] lmfao These are brilliant =] keep em coming! imo what you need to do is stop reading my sig ___________ Originally by: CCP Nozh I see you'r nano... And i TAKE IT!!
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.05 19:20:00 - [189] thread is bumptastic
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.09.05 21:23:00 - [190] Originally by: Taradis thread is bumptastic With sheriff it's less bumping and more thrusting. Here ya go SJ - a free thrust :P

Beardponderer You're Doing It Wrong	Posted - 2008.09.05 23:15:00 - [191] Needs more beards
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.06 00:16:00 - [192] Love you guys too "Thrust", oh priceless... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
konjev Minmatar Enrave Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.06 22:16:00 - [193] the best topic is on page 3? back to page 1 where it belongs!!! freaking awesome keep it up
R0ot Got R0ot	Posted - 2008.09.06 22:33:00 - [194] Best thread in GD!
Zyck KDS	Posted - 2008.09.06 23:33:00 - [195] I'm almost in tears from the pocket rocket launcher. The whole missile one is by far my favorite. Also, need sticky. -Zyck
Vega Alioth Caldari	Posted - 2008.09.07 00:23:00 - [196] awesome - truly awesome dont read internet comic scripts but would love to see someone sketch one of these up
Taross Caldari Blue Sky Inc	Posted - 2008.09.07 03:08:00 - [197] Thanks Sherrif, great giggles! Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed dimensions of 400x120 pixels and filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.07 11:31:00 - [198] (My sinpiration is running dry, too much booze, too little brainrest ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: This...the CCP? Wrangler: Umm...yes. Hello there. Welcome. CCP. Help you? Can i? Customer: Yes yes, very good. Hmm. You creators of EVE? Wrangler: According to wikipedia, we could have also stole it. Customer: Excellent excellent. scribbles down on paperpad Wrangler: Look, you want something? Customer: Oh no, no, not at all..umm...some coffee? Wrangler: Coffee? Customer: Yes, yes. taps fingers on desk Coffee. whistles Wrangler: Coffee...right...be right back walks to back room Customer: Aha...leans over desk to computer Wrangler walks back with coffee; "h...hey!" Csutomer stands back up and leans on table; "What?" Wrangler: What were you doing there? Customer: Nothing. Where? I just came in. Wrangler: no you were on my computer..what did you do taps away on computer Customer: Wasn't me, no, not at all.It was, that hsifty looking guy who left. Just now. Outside. Wrangler: Look, no touching the computer. Customer: Right, right. Wrangler: Now, you need something else then this coffee? Customer: no, no. Not at all. whistles Wrangler: ... Customer: ...what? Wrangler: What are you doing here then?! Customer: Ooh, oh...err.. Wrangler: ... Customer: ...umm... OW OW!!! holds mouth Wrangler: What now? Customer: Burned mah mouth. Could ah get shome whater? Wrangler: ... Customer: Phlease? Wrangler: Fine. walks to backroom Customer leans over. Wrangler leans from the doorway. Customer stands straight and whistles. Then holds his mouth. "Owie owie?" Wrangler frowns and goes fetch water. Customer leans over ad taps away on computer, then stands straight again. Wrangler: Here's your... ding ding Wrangler: Hmh. sits on computer What the... Empyrean age 1.3 released: Patching process running: Updating dwarf.ini My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.07 15:05:00 - [199] Edited by: Roy Batty68 on 07/09/2008 15:06:52 Sorry SJ. I couldn't hold back any longer. ding ding Constipator500: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Sheriff Jones: Hi. Yeah, I just updated my post on GD and was charged 500,000.00 isk. Constipator500: Yep. Sheriff Jones: But 500k isk, are you ma... Hey, wait. Where's Wrangler? Constipator500: He was sacked. I'm his replacement. SJ: Sacked? But why? He still owes me a pen... Constipator500: Too soft. Let you hooligans get away with all sorts of nonsense. SJ: But... but... half a mil for poasting? Constipator500: That's right. New sheriff in town. Heh heh... SJ: So you're saying that... ding ding Constipator500: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Roy Batty: Sup dude? Yeah, I was just doing my usual Spam the Forums routine and it says I'm outta isk. So I logged into the actual game for change, and indeed no isk. What gives? SJ: They're charging us for posts! Roy: WHAT? Holy crap! That's insane! Constipator500: ...tee hee... Roy: But dude, I just went broke in like 15 minutes! Constipator500: Well maybe you should make some actual constructive posts. You can make your isk back by helping noobs in EVE New Citizens Q&A. Roy: Really? How much per? Constipator500: 20 isk a post depending on how helpful it is... Roy: Say WHAT? You realize how many keyboards... ding ding Constipator500: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i... Le Skunk: SILENCE! Constipator500: ... Le Skunk: So I was crafting a perfectly scathing reply to some bear when I get this, "We're Sorry, Something Happened to your isk" error. What the bloody.. SJ: They're charging... Roy: per post... Constipator500: ...chortle... Roy: We gotta do "time" in New Citizens now... Le Skunk: What a load of bovine scatte... ding ding Constipator500: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Malcanis: Hey my Eve Going To Hell In A Soft Knitted Handbag debate seems to have been interup... SJ: They're charging us... Roy: per post... Le Skunk: BASTARDS! SJ: Got to make it up by answering noob questions... Roy: for the next 50 years... Malcanis: Figures... {muffled giggling from the back room} SJ: Hey... who's back th... ding ding Constipator500: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Ki An: Have you people lost your freekin... SJ: They're charging us... Roy: per post... Le Skunk: BASTARDS! Mal: Even the forums has gone to the bears... Ki An: That's it! I'm war dec'ing them! Roy: Dude, you're gonna war dec CCP? Ki An: Blast em right in their oversized fishtank! SJ: Maybe we should just calm... ding ding Tchell Dahhn: Hey! Who YOINKED my... ding ding Locke DieDrake: For Great Honour!! ding ding Lui Kai: I've fallen and can't Ambulate... ding ding 5pinDizzy: Let's end the pretense that this is a forum... ding ding AlienHand: The day the music died?... Eris: ...sticks her head out from back room... I think you better tell them. Navigator: ...falls over laughing in back room... Wrangler: ...takes off Constipator500 mask... April Fools! [stunned silence] SJ: WHAT? Roy: But it's not even April... Le Skunk: BASTARDS! Wrangler: Well, with a quality gag like that I could hardly wait 6 months. Malcanis: You mean this was all just a joke? Le Skunk: BASTARDS! Wrangler: Yep. Teach you lot a lesson. Appreciate what you got, because basically... I'm just awsome. ...smiles serenely... [Crowd}: GET HIM! Wrangler: Oi! Eris: Run! Navigator: Oh shi... ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dung ding dunk clunk thunk bell falls to the floor amidst a cloud of dust Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.07 15:13:00 - [200] Aww ... I wasn't part of the rabble. sniff Originally by: CCP Greyscale consciously deciding not to join a corp is pretty much deciding that you don't want to have fun

Shak'Rah	Posted - 2008.09.07 22:20:00 - [201] Edited by: Shak''Rah on 07/09/2008 22:20:03 door opens with no bell krinkles walks in and, noticing nobody is here, 'donates' 500bil ISK to himself from CCP. And fixes the bell on the way out. ding ding
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.08 05:28:00 - [202] looks at thread cracks fingers Right.... ding ding Wrangler: Zzhuh...weird dreams...looks at camera and blows a rasberry Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? RoyBatty: I wish to complain! slams leather-mask and whip on table Wrangler: S&M Emporium, two doors down. RoyBatty: Spank you! ding ding Wrangler: This is gonna be one of those d ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can ihelp you? Shak'Rah: I wish to complain! Wrangler: And what about sir? Skah'Rah: I'm ugly! Wrangler: And the complaint? Skah'Rah: I want to redo my avatar to look pretty for all the boys. Wrangler: You mean girls? Skah'Rah: Right. Girls. Ahem. Wrangler: Well when ambulation hits, you can. Skah'Rah: But then it'll be too late! Wrangler: Oh i think it's too late for you already. Skah'Rah: What? Wrangler: Don't fix what you can't break no more. Skah'Rah: Excuse me?!! Wrangler: Better to have ugly face then no face at all? Skah'Rah: Outrageous! I demand to speak to someone in charge! Wrangler: This lasers charged. Skah'Rah: I demand to leave with most my bodyparts intact! Wrangler: I can't promise anything. Skah'Rah: ... ding... Skah'Rah: ...? ...ding! Wrangler: Right. who's next.... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.08 05:41:00 - [203] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Ruze: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Ofcourse you do. What's this then? Ruze: I feel that the miners of EVE have been given the vibrating end of the stick for far too long. Wrangler: How do you suggest we change this? Ruze: New T2 mining ships would be a start, along with basic changes to the whole process off...rabble rabble rabble Wrangler: .... Ruze: more rabble rabble Wrangler: ...oi... 2 hours 35 minutes later Ruze: And that's, how you the system will benefit Wrangler: FINE!! Just...shut up. I'll add a T2 mining barge to your account. Ruze: Oh i don't mine. Wrangler: What? Ruze: Oh i just felt like bringing the views of those less fo Wrangler: SHUT UP! Ok. Noted. Anything else? Ruze: Well the highsec missioning Wrangler: You mission? Ruze: I can't say that i do, but i feel th Wrangler: Then i can't help. Else? Ruze: Pirating in 0.0... Wrangler: And...you pirate? Ruze: Not as such no. Wrangler: Meaning? Ruze: Well, i don't shoot at other ships. Wrangler: How does that fall anywhere near pirating then? Ruze: I convey people my requests and they comply. Wrangler: You...ask for their stuff? Ruze: Oh no. Wrangler: But...? Ruze: I simply talk to them and reason how self-destructing their ship would be in the best interest of all parties involved. Wrangler: I can imagine...look, what exactly do you DO in EVE? Ruze: I remeniss. Wrangler: ...what? Ruze: I fondle memories. Wrangler: You...what? Ruze: I stroke the images of the past Wrangler: OUT!! ding ding Wrangler: I swear to jove the next ding ding Beardponderer: I wish to complain about my pants! Wrangler: ... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.08 05:45:00 - [204] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: This is gonna be one of those d ding ding Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post
Kuolematon Space Perverts and Forum Warriors United	Posted - 2008.09.08 07:15:00 - [205] WHAT?! I wasn't part of the rabble grouppie? You .. dirty little monkey! Gets leather whip and some soya cream "The Amarr are the tanking and ganking floating rods of ~~gold~~crap"
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.08 07:38:00 - [206] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Beardponderer: I wish to complain about my pants! Wrangler: ... That reminds me... I never have cared for these pants (trousers, uk hoohas) that much. Go-Go Ambulation Levis Pre-faded and Suggestively Ripped 501s!! And on another note... Spank you, Sheriff Jones. Spank you very much! wink wink nudge nudge Know what I mean? Say no more... eh hem.. Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
Kash Ka Amarr Point of No Return	Posted - 2008.09.08 10:04:00 - [207] Edited by: Kash Ka on 08/09/2008 10:04:14 Ahahahaha lmfaoroflbbqlol great stuff sj keep em comming. Also i demand this post be stickyed!! --------------==============================-------------- Forgiveness is between you and god, im just here to arrange the meeting.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.08 11:02:00 - [208] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I want to complain about a method in game that's totally exploitable! Wrangler: Certainly sir, what might this be? Customer: My ship got blown up by these indestructible ships. Wrangler: What security system was this in? Customer: 1.0 Wrangler: Umm...what were you doing? Customer: Just flipping cans and shooting at people. Wrangler: Right...did these ships have a big CONCORD sign on them? customer: Yes! I want them nerfed! No corporation should be able to kill you in highsec like that. Wrangler: Lemme guess, you shot someone before they shot you? Customer: Yes ofcourse! I flipped their can, then shot them before they had time to react. Wrangler: Right...rolls up newspaper Customer: Now i wathwack! Hey! Wrangler: Bad pilot! Customer: What ththwack! HEY! Wrangler: No! Bad pilot! thwacks customer again with newspaper Customer: Hethwack! Wrangler: You bad pilot you. Look at what you did! Customer: Athwack! Wrangler: Staaaay. Customer: ... Wrangler: Good boy. Now, off you go. Customer: ...buthwack! ... ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Endel Minmatar Quam Singulari	Posted - 2008.09.08 12:15:00 - [209] Originally by: Sheriff Jones thwack! This thread should be labeled NSFW Nothing in Java programming is that funny, everyone looks weird at me now...
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.08 13:19:00 - [210] I'm just so ... happy Originally by: CCP Greyscale consciously deciding not to join a corp is pretty much deciding that you don't want to have fun

Mazaron ACE'S OVER 8'S Southern Cross Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.08 14:24:00 - [211] My college tutor is looking at me funny now
Jaratsri	Posted - 2008.09.08 14:35:00 - [212] This is bad for me and my sore throat, being sick and laughing this much cant be good. That said, SJ, donÆt ever stop smoking what ever it is your having in your pipe =)
Jimer Lins Gallente Noir. Trinity Nova Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.08 18:19:00 - [213] Originally by: Endel Originally by: Sheriff Jones thwack! This thread should be labeled NSFW Nothing in Java programming is that funny, everyone looks weird at me now... Well, to be fair, Swing is fairly amusing. ducks
rValdez5987 Amarr 32nd Amarrian Imperial Navy Regiment.	Posted - 2008.09.08 18:32:00 - [214] Originally by: Jimer Lins Originally by: Endel Originally by: Sheriff Jones thwack! This thread should be labeled NSFW Nothing in Java programming is that funny, everyone looks weird at me now... Well, to be fair, Swing is fairly amusing. ducks Oh god I can picture that. Quote: ROTFLHTMLLOLOLOLO
Shak'Rah	Posted - 2008.09.08 19:51:00 - [215] Edited by: Shak''Rah on 08/09/2008 19:53:01 Originally by: Sheriff Jones looks at thread ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can ihelp you? Shak'Rah: I wish to complain! Wrangler: And what about sir? Skah'Rah: I'm ugly! Wrangler: And the complaint? Skah'Rah: I want to redo my avatar to look pretty for all the boys. Wrangler: You mean girls? Skah'Rah: Right. Girls. Ahem. Wrangler: Well when ambulation hits, you can. Skah'Rah: But then it'll be too late! Wrangler: Oh i think it's too late for you already. Skah'Rah: What? Wrangler: Don't fix what you can't break no more. Skah'Rah: Excuse me?!! Wrangler: Better to have ugly face then no face at all? Skah'Rah: Outrageous! I demand to speak to someone in charge! Wrangler: This lasers charged. Skah'Rah: I demand to leave with most my bodyparts intact! Wrangler: I can't promise anything. Skah'Rah: ... ding... Skah'Rah: ...? ...ding! Wrangler: Right. who's next.... First off, i'm NOT gay Secondly, if i was i could do better than you Thirdly, I'M NOT GAY!! And fourth, SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT GAY!!!!1! oh right. i wish to complain. jove ships are too powerful. i want them nerfed. and to have all previous nerfs removed so i can rap... pwn noobs.
Taram Caldar Noir. Trinity Nova Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.08 20:53:00 - [216] Quote: Customer: 'cause i'm the customer and you should keep me happy! Wrangler: Want a titan? Customer: What? Wrangler: Worked with Bob... Customer: WHAT!!!? Wrangler: Kidding, kidding...you want one? Customer: What are you trying? Wrangler: look i got nice titans back there, all shiny and new, ready to be deployed. I'll put it in jjita for oyu? Customer: If this is some kind of ploy to get me back ingame... Wrangler: No ploy. Honest. It'll be waiting for you there. Absolutely priceless :) I busted a gut laughing...
RagnhildR tu Caldari IRON CROSS LEGION	Posted - 2008.09.08 21:58:00 - [217] Pure Genius!!!!! S T I C K Y T H I S D A M N T H R E A D! Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Faekurias Black Legion Command	Posted - 2008.09.09 00:25:00 - [218] Edited by: Faekurias on 09/09/2008 00:25:27 Don't mean to snipe, but I haven't seen a SINGLE one about kittens! So... well. I suck at it but here goes: ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can I help you? Customer: I'd like to buy kittens. Wrangler: Uhm... Kittens? Customer: Yes, for my missiles. Wrangler: Kitten missiles? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: What exactly do you intend to do with the poor kittens? Customer: I shall duct-tape them to my missiles so that they can claw at the enemy ship before detonation. Double effect. I am a genius! Wrangler: So basically blow up kittens in space? Customer: For great justice. Wrangler: That's terrible! Customer: Probably equally effective. Wrangler: Meh... I can live with that disappears into backroom Wrangler: Here's your kittens sir, a big fluffy basket of them! Customer: Thank you! I promise they won't last the day. IN your honour. Wrangler. Gee...well..thanks. ding ding ------------------ We are recruiting.
RagnhildR tu Caldari IRON CROSS LEGION	Posted - 2008.09.09 02:38:00 - [219] Can't have this masterpiece dissappear onto page 2. Bump!!!!! Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.09 03:33:00 - [220] Quote: WAR KITTENS!?!?! Originally by: CCP Greyscale consciously deciding not to join a corp is pretty much deciding that you don't want to have fun

Thenoran Caldari Border Rim Enterprises	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:04:00 - [221] Edited by: Thenoran on 09/09/2008 08:09:18 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can I help you? Customer: Ah yes, can I...um...make a complaint? Wrangler: Of course. Customer: Great...erm...yeah so like, I got this Hulk you see. Wrangler: Ah, you are a miner! Customer: Yeh, I mine in <high sec system> a lot, but well...it's kinda boring. Wrangler: Boring? Mining? Customer: Yeh...I mean...I just like...warp to the belt, hit the miners and then...done Wrangler: I see, well I'm sure that... DING DING Somebody: haHaaa! Time to die n00b! Wra/Cust: Customer: Huh? Somebody: Oh yes! Carebear! Wrangler: There is like...a line you know? Wait your turn! Somebody: I can fix that. (fires 8xChelm Modified EMP Large Smartbomb) Customer: ZOMG! Wrangler: Oh no...none of that! NONE. OF. THAT. Somebody: Muhahahaha! (fires 8xChelm Modified EMP Large Smartbomb) Distant stomping and noise in the distance Wrangler: Oh dear...now you did it... Customer: HELP!!111eleven! DING DING DING DING DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDING DING CONCORD: HERE WE COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAY! Wrangler: Oh great... CONCORD: AND WE LOOK FABOLOUUUUSSS! Customer: HELP! Somebody: ...wut the? CONCORD: FACE OUR WRATH! SMITE THEE! wimpy magical swing Cannot target as Somebody's ship is about to explode Somebody: ......WHAT? Wrangler: snicker Customer: ...fiew...heart slows Somebody: I will so..- Wrangler: There! Customer: What you do? Wrangler: Send his pod into the main fleet of GoonSwarm, I'm sure they'll know what to do... CONCORD: SAVED THE DAY WE HAAAAAAAAVE AAAGGGGGAAAIIINNNN! Wrangler: Yeh sure...look you bunch of heros go and save the galaxy, alright? CONCORD: Certainly, Master Customer: ...Master? Wrangler: Yeh...nvm...you were saying? Customer: ...Right...ermm...where was I? Wrangler: Your Hulk, boring, eyestrain...? Customer: Ah yes, Mining could use a boost and... DING DING Somebody: WONT GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY Wrangler: For the love of... Somebody: DIE! Wrangler: I think not... Wrangler: (extremely girly voice) Oh CONCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD... Lots of stomping and noise DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDING DING Somebody: Ack! YOU! CONCORD: HERE WE COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAY! Customer: whisper Who programmed CONCORD like that? Wrangler: whisper Navigator's April Fool's Joke... Somebody: You won't take me al- CONCORD: SMITE THEE! wimpy magical swing Cannot target as Somebody's ship is about to explode Somebody: I will so-! Wrangler: Some day this turned about to be...Okay CONCORD...go shove off now... CONCORD: BUT WE STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TO PROTECT YOUUUUU! Wrangler: Oh that is it! Where is that... ruffle ruffle, zoink boink! **t rwatt There! CONCORD: We shall stay for one hour sir. Wrangler: Much bett...one hour? Oh right the despawn timer, I don't need that, go on! CONCORD: We. Will. Stay. Wrangler: ... Wrangler: Fine then!... throws Wrangler's Modified Uber Extra-Large Smartbomb CONCORD ships all destroyed Wrangler: Finally! Some peace... Customer: huddled in a corner Wrangler: Calm down, it's ok now Customer: But...won't destroying CONCORD just...spawn more? Wrangler: Don't be sill-... Wrangler: ... Wrangler: . . . *Enormous overpowering of stomping and noise* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DING DING* CONCORD: Wrangler: Customer: I think I'll....leave you to it then... *Crank! Dang! Woosh! Thud! Croink! Argh! Oef! Krenggg! Iaaa!* ------------------------ Ship Yield Calc Improve Mining
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:13:00 - [222] (Faekurias, please request, or this happens ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome o the CCP! How can i help you? Faekurias: Yes hello, i was informed you have kittens here. Wrangler: Kittens? Must be some form of propaganda attempt at our good name looks at camera. We have no kittens here! Faekurias: No no, you do. Wrangler: We do NOT. Faekurias: This other guy came in, got a basket of kittens and went off blowing them to bits. Wrangler: He didn't. Faekurias: He most certainly did! Wrangler: Look, there's no kittens in EVE. There's tabbys and other stuff like that in WoW...holds hand on wizard robe under counter Faekurias: Screw WoW! Wrangler takes hand off; "Right, thought so. Faekurias: I want my damn kittens! Wrangler: Look, you're being silly now... Faekurias: KITTENS!! Wrangler: If you coul Faekurias: KITTYMITTENS!!! Wrangler: .... Faekurias: KITTYWITTYDIPPYNIPPYS!!! Wrangler: You done? Faekurias: One more? Wrangler: Fine... Faekurias: WILLYNILLYKITTYSTEW! Wrangler: If you want kittens that bad, hello kitty is that way. Or so i've heard. Faekurias: No! I want kittens in Wrangler: FINE!!! Faekurias: Thank you. ding ding Wrangler: I'll show you damn kittens...taps away moments later ding ding! Wrangler: Hello th...you. Faekurias: Ny ship is pink, my drones look awful fluffy and go "meowmeow" instead of "pewpew" and i think my launchers shoot furballs! Wrangler: nods That's kittens for you. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:17:00 - [223] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 09/09/2008 08:22:15 (Right! ) DUN DUN! LOCATION: CONCORD Penitentiary. TIME: 2008.09.09 08:17:00 Thenoran: Look i'm sorry... CONCORD: You sit quietly and think what you've done. Thenoran: But i just... CONCORD: Thread flipping is a crime! Thenoran: Bu CONCORD: No buts! You'll get plenty of buts where you're going mister! Thenoran: ... CONCORD: Now here's your soap, no rope, and in you go! Thenoran: Can i ju CONCORD: Only thing i want to hear from those lips is "yes sir", "thank you sir" and "can i have another spanking sir!" CONCORD 2: Spanking? CONCORD: Shut uuuup. Thenoran: Yes. CONCORD: Excuse me?! Thenoran: Yes sir... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Jaketh Ivanes Amarr Imperial Servants	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:29:00 - [224] Sheriff, we need one with G.I.R.L's Awesome work.
Faekurias Black Legion Command	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:40:00 - [225] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (Faekurias, please request, or this happens ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome o the CCP! How can i help you? Faekurias: Yes hello, i was informed you have kittens here. Wrangler: Kittens? Must be some form of propaganda attempt at our good name looks at camera. We have no kittens here! Faekurias: No no, you do. Wrangler: We do NOT. Faekurias: This other guy came in, got a basket of kittens and went off blowing them to bits. Wrangler: He didn't. Faekurias: He most certainly did! Wrangler: Look, there's no kittens in EVE. There's tabbys and other stuff like that in WoW...holds hand on wizard robe under counter Faekurias: Screw WoW! Wrangler takes hand off; "Right, thought so. Faekurias: I want my damn kittens! Wrangler: Look, you're being silly now... Faekurias: KITTENS!! Wrangler: If you coul Faekurias: KITTYMITTENS!!! Wrangler: .... Faekurias: KITTYWITTYDIPPYNIPPYS!!! Wrangler: You done? Faekurias: One more? Wrangler: Fine... Faekurias: WILLYNILLYKITTYSTEW! Wrangler: If you want kittens that bad, hello kitty is that way. Or so i've heard. Faekurias: No! I want kittens in Wrangler: FINE!!! Faekurias: Thank you. ding ding Wrangler: I'll show you damn kittens...taps away moments later ding ding! Wrangler: Hello th...you. Faekurias: Ny ship is pink, my drones look awful fluffy and go "meowmeow" instead of "pewpew" and i think my launchers shoot furballs! Wrangler: nods That's kittens for you. aahahahah ------------------ We are recruiting.
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.09 08:55:00 - [226] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to... Wrangler: Oh... it's you. RoyBatty: Heya Wrangly, old buddy, old pal. Wrangler: goes back to reading Wrangler: What ya want this time, Roy? RoyBatty: Oh, nothing. Was just wondering if you could pass on a request to SJ. Wrangler: A request? RoyBatty: Yep. Tell him I think he should do a skit about the greatest Eve bug there ever was. Wrangler: Greatest Eve bu... What are you on about? RoyBatty: Mind if I show...? Wrangler: Hey! No touchy the compy! RoyBatty: It's just right... just a sec... Wrangler: Watch it, Roy! No deleting CONCORD. RoyBatty: No, no... I'd never... Hold a sec... RoyBatty: There it is! This one right here! Wrangler: Oh, man! I'd forgotten all about that! RoyBatty: Yeah, that was awsome, wasn't it? Wrangler: Oh yeah... Good times! RoyBatty: Heh heh. Yeah, your response was sig worthy! Wrangler: chuckles Wonder what ever happened to that guy... RoyBatty: Ok. That was it. Going to take off now. Don't want SJ getting all touchy about hijacking his thread. Might put me in a skit with a Boy Band or something. Wrangler: Probably a good idea. RoyBatty: Alrighty. Hasta lasagna! Wrangler: rolls eyes Yeah, yeah... Don't get any on ya... ding ding Wrangler: mumbles as he writes Tell SJ... Roy... Boy Band... lasagna... Oh, what the hell? S&M shop. Wrangler: Like I'm his secretary... goes back to reading Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
Jocelyn Jesseria	Posted - 2008.09.09 09:30:00 - [227] Originally by: Sheriff Jones moments later ding ding! Wrangler: Hello th...you. Faekurias: Ny ship is pink, my drones look awful fluffy and go "meowmeow" instead of "pewpew" and i think my launchers shoot furballs! Wrangler: nods That's kittens for you. Linkage Keep 'em coming Sheriff Jones....this thread is absolute gold!!
LordSwift INTERSTELLAR ENTERPRISE	Posted - 2008.09.09 09:42:00 - [228] Originally by: Jocelyn Jesseria Originally by: Sheriff Jones moments later ding ding! Wrangler: Hello th...you. Faekurias: Ny ship is pink, my drones look awful fluffy and go "meowmeow" instead of "pewpew" and i think my launchers shoot furballs! Wrangler: nods That's kittens for you. Linkage Keep 'em coming Sheriff Jones....this thread is absolute gold!! Haha awesome. how did you do that? Would be funny to see someone flying that design. You would have to shoot them for it tho. SJ keep up the good work, loving it every time. Everyone who is posting there own, be wary of SJ wrath. dont think he likes you copying him.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.09 09:44:00 - [229] Originally by: LordSwift dont think he likes you copying him. Oh not at all, let creative juices flow. I suck 'em up and spit them back out though My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Jocelyn Jesseria	Posted - 2008.09.09 09:52:00 - [230] Originally by: LordSwift Haha awesome. how did you do that? Would be funny to see someone flying that design. You would have to shoot them for it tho. Google is your bestest friend :P. I believe first time i came across it, someone posted it in in-game chat so i sadly do not know whom to credit the 'artwork' to.

RagnhildR tu Caldari IRON CROSS LEGION	Posted - 2008.09.09 12:48:00 - [231] Boom Boom!!!!! Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
5akki	Posted - 2008.09.09 16:01:00 - [232] I was laughing so hard tears came to my eyes and corporate office (about 100 yards back with crap load of metal between us) came by to see what was wrong..... oh man this thread needs sticky
stadshage Caldari Universal Star Final Retribution Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.10 00:13:00 - [233] stil got tears in my eye's how even pods name am i going to sleep but kee up the good work
Meepness22 The Lighthouse Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.10 01:59:00 - [234] This thread is made of pure win. Keep it up SJ STICKY THIS!!!!
Pliauga Gallente Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.09.10 09:42:00 - [235] STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!!STICKY!!! Me likey :) ---------- DRONE love rulez!! 'mkay?! LONG range/"OUT OF SYSTEM" artillery
Meepness22 The Lighthouse Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.10 22:55:00 - [236] B U M P ! ! no way this can go onto page 4
RagnhildR tu Caldari IRON CROSS LEGION	Posted - 2008.09.11 02:48:00 - [237] n' Grind Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
ceyriot Entropians on Vacation	Posted - 2008.09.11 04:17:00 - [238] Originally by: Thenoran Wrangler: Finally! Some peace... Customer: huddled in a corner Wrangler: Calm down, it's ok now Customer: But...won't destroying CONCORD just...spawn more? Wrangler: Don't be sill-... Wrangler: ... Wrangler: . . . *Enormous overpowering of stomping and noise* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI* *DING DING* CONCORD: Wrangler: Customer: I think I'll....leave you to it then... *Crank! Dang! Woosh! Thud! Croink! Argh! Oef! Krenggg! Iaaa!* seriously, almost ****ed myself Faction Store - Killboard
Tortun Nahme Minmatar Umbra Synergy Final Retribution Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.11 04:20:00 - [239] Request! we need you to do one about lofty and this old gem Exiled to Beta Applebabe ate my signature :( but the fish hat forgives! Nemotology is the EvE religion of choice!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 05:57:00 - [240] (Author notice: Been sick from monday-wednesday, fever stole all my creativity, will return to this later today ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 06:28:00 - [241] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 11/09/2008 06:28:55 8Just 'cause, will get to requests later ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I need help! Wrangler: That's what i'm here for. looks at camera I am! Customer: You fly a ship? Wrangler: Me? Play? Hah!! ...i mean..err...sure? Customer: Well come help me in a mission. Wrangler: Wha...no! Customer: Come on! I need heeeeelp! Wrangler: You sure do. Customer: How am i supposed to do this ifsplash!HEY! Wrangler: Holy water. Customer: What thsplash! STOP THAT!! Wrangler: THE POWER OT TWO COMPELS YOU!! Be-gone evil whiner! Customer: Whathunk! OW!!! Wrangler: Ran out, used the bottle, POWER OF TWO COM Customer: I GET IT!! ding ding Eris: "The power of two compels you", seriously? Wrangler: Lick me? Eris: NO! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Rastelle Trinity Nova Trinity Nova Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.11 07:34:00 - [242] brilliant my humble suggestion for the next "boobies and boosters"
Ooyama Caldari Rastana CMP Motivated and Determined	Posted - 2008.09.11 09:09:00 - [243] SJ!!! You spook me,, how the F'ING HE** did u know i watched "The exorcist" last night,,, also,, i can't EVER watch it again without starting to laugh manically now!! starts hunting Sheriff Jones with a flyswatter Made a sticky on our allianceforums to this,, it's pure WIN! "Yama".
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 10:57:00 - [244] Originally by: Ooyama SJ!!! You spook me,, how the F'ING HE** did u know i watched "The exorcist" last night,,, Same way i predicted the coming of an Empress, magic crystal flarn! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Ooyama Caldari Rastana CMP Motivated and Determined	Posted - 2008.09.11 11:05:00 - [245] A small request, on the topic of (honour)tanking? "Yama". Starts a frantic refresh-wave to see what'll happen now
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 14:02:00 - [246] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 11/09/2008 14:02:05 ((Couple of requests that fit the same segment. Hope you wishers enjoy! ) Originally by: Jaketh Ivanes Sheriff, we need one with G.I.R.L's ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Hi there handsome! giggles Wrangler: Err... Customer: Wanna touch my breasts? bounces up and down Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Come on! Give a girl some iskies! Wrangler: I... Customer: Love you long time! Hihihihi. Wrangler: Dude! Customer: Hmm? giggle Wrangler: You do know that making a girl avatar doesn't change you to a girl in real life? Customer: ... Wrangler: Seriously... Customer: I gotta go. ding ding Originally by: Rastelle my humble suggestion for the next "boobies and boosters" ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'd like some boosters. Wrangler: Certainly sir, what kind, intelligence? Customer: No. Wrangler: Memory? Customer: Nah... Wrangler: Combat efficiency? Customer: Not quite. Wrangler: Then what? Customer: Boobies. Wrangler: Excuse me...? Customer: Boo. Bies. Wrangler: You want...boobie boosters? Customer nods; "M-hm." Wrangler: We don't have any. Customer: But i want some! Wrangler: We don't have boobie boosters! Now tick off. Customer: Ok ok, can i have something else? Wrangler: What? Customer: Booby traps. Wrangler: ... Customer: Smart Boobs? Wrangler: NO! No boobies of any kind! Customer: An industrial? Wrangler: What? Customer: Could i have an industrial. Wrangler: Sure, which one? Customer: The boob-tower. Wrangler: ... Customer: Boobger? Wrangler: Get. Out. Customer: Booberon? Wrangler: OOOUT!!! ding ding! Wrangler sighs. ding... Customer: Mammoth? Wrangler: Yes! We got that. Customer: Mammary Edition? Wrangler throws a shoe at door. ...ding! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Poldarn Joaq State Protectorate	Posted - 2008.09.11 15:42:00 - [247] I want a Titeron MK-V! Boobtastic. --------------- Thats no moon!! ---------------
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 16:19:00 - [248] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 11/09/2008 16:21:08 (Small Interlude just 'cause...) Originally by: Roy Batty68 RoyBatty: Ok. That was it. Going to take off now. Don't want SJ getting all touchy about hijacking his thread. Might put me in a skit with a Boy Band or something. You know... "My Gang" -By Roy Batty and the Buttyboys. [Intro: Roy Batty] I don't know CCP... I think everyone's all jealous and shit cuz I'm like the Fleet Commander of my gang dude... And I think everyone's got a freakin problem with me dude... And they need to take it up with me after the op... Because... [Chorus: Roy Batty] These noobs don't even know the fit of my gang... But they just PM 'cause they've flipped a can... Cuz once I pop them i know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the FC of my gang... [Verse 1 - Roy Batty] So I get into vent right, and put on the mic, Connect to EVE and I'm all like; "Sup, noobies, my name's Roy Batty. I'm the Fleet commander in this operation baby" They're all like; "Oh my god it's Batty!" "Check'it, oh my **in' god, he's in my chatty!" "I swear to ing god dude you *in rock!" "Please Batty please don't put me on your block!" And by now the rest of the gang get jealous. Even when I drop the bubble and pop a couple fellas. All the noobs start yellin', all the hot "babes", Bring their ibis and their rifter and the gangs in rage. So like every single op they pick a fight with me. But when we fight it's kinda like nooby rivalry. Cuz they're back in the op the next night with me. Dude I just think you're tryn'a steal the loot from me. Yesterday corpie tried to drop a bubble on me. Cause I told him Nightmares's my next ship to be. This elite shit, it's the life for me. And all the other corpies just despise me because... [Chorus: Roy Batty] These noobs don't even know the fit of my gang... But they all PM 'cause they've flipped a can... Cuz once I pop them i know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the FC of my gang... My gang, my gang, my gang, my gang, my gang, my gang, my gang, my gang, my gaaaaaaaaaang babeeh yeah! [Verse 2 - Group member] You just wanna see me bend backwards don't you? Hey Roy how come we don't camp on some Goons? Smash these noobies and be home for brunce. But he picks the can and he don't give an ounce. You don't want to gatecamp, yous a liar. And no I'm not the FC ("oh I thought you was Batty!") What the hell is wrong with this mission room? Cuz my loot is looking smaller than a decimal. See I've got the cap, see it's simple but, All I did was buy an Energy systems book, So I'm more tech, but i'm on his lap, shootin' jumping rats until damn Battys' back. [Verse 3 - Noob 1 and 2] Noob 2: Look at Roy little punk noob, thinkin' he the shit. Noob 3: Yeah I know man, "leet" himself taking on a frig. Noob 2: Hey I thought we had an interview with the BoB crew? (Batty: No I had an interview not you two) Noob 3: You gonna be late for fleet op. Noob 2: Man I ain't goin' to fleet op! Fit our ships all screwed up... Noob 3: ...and his always the best. You know what man I'ma pop something..Hey yo Roy! (Batty: You got something to say?!) Noob 3: Man no! Noob 2: I thought you bout to pop him POD, what's up? Noob 3: Man I'ma kill him when I feel like it, man shut up. And you ain't even jam him up when we you were supposed to do. Noob 2: Man I was bout to lock right after you! I swear, I swear man [Chorus: Roy Batty] These noobs don't even know the fit of my gang... But they all PM 'cause they've flipped a can... Cuz once I pop them i know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the FC of my gang... (cont...) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.*
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.11 16:20:00 - [249] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 11/09/2008 16:20:04 (cont...) [Verse 4 - Raven pilot] They say the fleet commanders rock, but the gang does not. Once i took out BoB fleets just for a lark. I'm gonna let the forums know that raven is hot. I should cut his vent off when the fleet op starts. Ready to flip his dumb ass can. Every time i hear (Hey dude this is my gang!) We ain't a gang noob, we just hang in vent, So why he gets to set the tax at 90 percent? This guy should go ** the horse that he rode. (Batty: You guys got lag?!) Noob, you're a . Can't make it to the op, noobcamp in my way; (Who the **** are you? Is Roy coming this way?!) [Verse 5 - Sheriff Jones] Goddammit I'm sick of this *. Time for me to go solo and make some loot. I told you I got tech twos and got the Cap. Still Roy Batty denied me from his op crap. Attack on BoB man..,I was told "no HAC". Yesterdays fleet op, i was told "no Cap". the I.D., I got some suggestions. ** Roy Batty, and his ship restrictions. Like who rules the thread? How it got started? (But what about Roy Batty?) Noob go fit your Itty! Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the fleet. Big ass ship, G.I.R.L.s think I'm leet (Hey sexy!) Did i tell you Roy used to ask for me for a buff? Was about to tell him to go WoW more, but TQ came up. **** Roy Batty, I'm outta this gang. I'm gonna start a gang to mine in a jetcan! [Roy Batty in boyband get-up] CCP why cant you see your the only one for me! And it just tears my POD apart to know that you don't know my name...whack! [Chorus - Sheriff Jones] These noobs don't even know how to form gangs...(ha ha) But they all PM 'cause Roy flipped their can...(**** Batty) Cuz once I blow his POD i know i'll be the man... All because he's the FC of his gang... His gang, his gang, his gang, his gang, his gang, his gang, I'm banned, his gang... Loves me! [Roy Batty] The hottest boy band in the world...Batty Boys! [Roy Batty as a salsa singer] I'm the FC of my gang, I get all the noobs's to make some flamey rants! And the FC of my gang, my gatecamp, Makes all the pretty noobs's drop their cans. My gatecamp, look out for my next single, it's called My gatecamp... My camp, my camp, my camp, my gatecamp! My gatecamp makes all the noobs make some flamey rants, And drop all their loot filled cans. My gatecamp makes all the noobs make some flamey rants, And drop all their loot filled cans. My gatecamp. Where'd everybody go? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
LilMega PAL Caldari VIRTUAL LIFE VANGUARD	Posted - 2008.09.11 17:05:00 - [250] Curzon Dax should sing the SJ "My Gang"... its great! LMP iz in tha criiib! Get ur walk on homies![/b]

Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.09.11 17:07:00 - [251] Holy shibbit! Sheriff, you nutter. I was hoping for Wrangler with naked, bald, Amarr chicks... which now that I type that out, it sounds kind of... well, nevermind. Now I'm gonna be singing that all night. >< My gatecamp makes all the preety gurls drop their cans... Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
Jaabaa Minmatar Dental Drilling Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.11 17:17:00 - [252] Sheriff Jones, pure class. Here's a request for you, try and do something with this: Wrangler's "Scratch 'N Sniff" offer at the EVE-Shop -- EVE Mobile Skill Planner V3 !! http://evemsp.sourceforge.net/
stadshage Caldari Universal Star Final Retribution Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.12 10:59:00 - [253] Originally by: Jaabaa Sheriff Jones, pure class. Here's a request for you, try and do something with this: Wrangler's "Scratch 'N Sniff" offer at the EVE-Shop think some one might die if that is done so plz do it
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.12 11:34:00 - [254] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 12/09/2008 11:35:30 It's, well, umm...it's kind of a joke in itself, a very good one, and i don't know if i dare touch it(pun intended) even with a long stick(another intended one), but if i do, the comedy value of it could only, at any rate, scratch the surface(yes i went there) of the potential it has thinks thinks again What the hell, it's gonna suck though ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to return an item you advertised! Wrangler: Oh not again...look, we rarely take returns bu Customer: Oh you better, this is infected with bugs, has a bad taste to it.. Wrangler: Umm... Customer: ...and in any case or other, it couldn't even be deemed worth reprocessing... Wrangler: I'm sure it's no Customer: I'm not done! It's too small, it's effective use has rendered many members useless and while i appreciate the irony, i can't get it around my head Wrangler: Around...? Customer: Not done yet! I can't get it around my head how blatantly this was advertised and how utterly horrified i am of the actual item. Wrangler: Done? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: As i was saying, we rarely take returns, but if the seal hasn't been broken, which i doubt, it can be returned via the pr Customer: Seal? Wrangler: Yes the hermatic.. Customer: Look! There's no seal on automated targeting systems. What are you on about? Wrangler: Oooh... Customer: So, can i have a refund or not?! Wrangler: Well, we ca...grins...we can trade it? Customer: Fine fine, anything to get rid of this crap. What you got? Wrangler: How do you like scratch'n'sniff items? -End- My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.13 09:36:00 - [255] ding ding Wrangler: Hello and we... Customer: Silence! Wrangler: ... Customer: I am from...The CSM! Wrangler: The CSM?! Another customer peeks in; "The CSM?!" Customer: The CSM. Another customer leaves; "It's a rip-off really..." Wrangler: And what does, pray do tell, the CSM wish upon? Customer: I...i mean...We demand an answer...no wait...what was it...the community demands an answer! Yes! Wrangler: What is it this time? Customer: The Community, which i, Bane Glorious and the rest of goonfleet own...lea...am part o....they wish to know when there will be new t2 ships. Wrangler: In the future, perhaps. Customer: That's a bit vague. Wrangler: It wasn't definitive for sure. Customer: Hmh. I'm..we...the community! are...is! disappointed.under breath "damnit" Wrangler: Excuse me? Customer: Nothing! Wrangler: Anything else? Customer: Ambulation? Wrangler: Working on it. Customer: Grr...industry boosts? Wrangler: Certainly. Customer: When?! Wrangler: Soon. Customer: You're really annoying me..us...them! Wrangler: I'm trying. Customer: Look, ok, one more question from me...the goon...com-mu-ni-ty.... Wrangler: Shoot and don't loose it. Customer: When will i..we...them! Get some answers? Wrangler: I can't answer that. Customer: ... ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Iron Wraith	Posted - 2008.09.13 09:52:00 - [256] brilliant stuff. i did very well at work not bursting out in laughter when catching up with this thread, tho i did need to make a few breaks to let my self calm down can we get something about the old farts of eve that have been here since beta and remember when you had to walk uphill pushing your ship to get to work, then when you were done winding the levers to power the ship you had to walk up hill dragging your ship to get back to station, all for 3 isk pay! inspiration from monty pythons yorkshiremen sketch clicky to youtube Because sometimes you just have to go back to your roots: [2005.02.20 01:08:03] (combat) Your Civilian Light Electron Blaster perfectly strikes Serpentis Smuggler, wrecking for 20.3 damage
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.13 14:20:00 - [257] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/09/2008 14:26:26 Originally by: Iron Wraith can we get something about the old farts of eve that have been here since beta and remember when you had to walk uphill pushing your ship to get to work, then when you were done winding the levers to power the ship you had to walk up hill dragging your ship to get back to station, all for 3 isk pay! Even if it's a bit "off-topic", surely we can "The Empyrean Gentlemen" Amarr: Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of genetically enhanced livestock. Caldari: Nothing like a good glass of Quafe Ultra, eh, Jacque? Gallente: You're right there, Obadiah. Minmatar: Who'd have thought back in 2003 we'd all be sittin' in our titans, eh? Amarr: In them days we was glad to have the price of a frigate. Caldari: A rookie frigate. Gallente: Without any mods. Minmatar: Or a frigate. Amarr: Hulltanked, an' all. Gallente: Oh, we never had a hull. We used to have to fly around with cellophane as protection. Caldari: The best we could manage was to stick a burning match on a broom. Gallente: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were noobs. Amarr: Because we were noobs! My old CEO used to say to me, "ISK don't buy you happiness, son". Before the battleship named "Happiness" blew him up. Minmatar: Aye, 'e was right. Amarr: Aye, 'e was. Gallente: I was happier then and I had nothin'. Our corp was set up in this derelict asteroid. Caldari: Asteroid?! You were lucky to have a corp in an asteroid! We used to have our corp in a cruiser, all twenty-six of us, no corp wallet, 'alf the cruiser was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling into space. Minmatar: Eh, you were lucky to have a cruiser! We used to have the corp inside a frigate! Amarr: Oh, we used to dreeeeam of having a frigate! Would have been a palace to us. We used to have the corp stuff in a shuttle, without any engines, and we'd get kicked out every DT for the cleaning. Gallente: Well, when I say 'asteroid' it was only a water container in space. But it was an asteroid for us! Caldari: Our water container got popped. We had to move the corp inside a rookie ships cargobay. Minmatar: You were lucky to have a rookie ship! There were a hundred and fifty of us, inside a cargo container in space. Amarr: Secure container? Minmatar: Aye. Amarr: You were lucky. We had the corp for one hour, in an unnamed jetcan. We used to have to get up every hour, twice on DT, move the stuff to a new jetcan, one by one as we didn't have stacking, go mission, for 12 hours, for 10 isk, and when we got back we'd get popped by the devs. Caldari: Luxury. We used to have to get out of our rookie ship in our pods, fly over to 0.0, avoid all the pirates, survive the rats, move one by one, reports, no stacking, through 50 jumps back and forth for 5 isk, a pat on the back, and get our stuff taken away by CCP when we were done because of isk buying accusations. Minmatar: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get out of the cargo container at 2am, clear out angel extravaganza with our pods. We had one pod between us, missioned twenty-four hours a day for interbus for 1 isk every four months, and when we got back to our container, CCP had cleared it with the rubble and we had to start all over. Gallente: Right. I had to log in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, reprocess my whole character, work twenty-nine hours a day for the interbus, and pay interbus rewards for my missions, and when i logged out, CCP would ban us all for no reason and make us play WoW. Amarr: And you try and tell the noobs of today that ..... they won't believe you. ALL: They won't! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Niccolado Starwalker Shadow Templars	Posted - 2008.09.13 14:38:00 - [258] Originally by: Sheriff Jones [...master stuff..] Gallente: Right. I had to log in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, reprocess my whole character, work twenty-nine hours a day for the interbus, and pay interbus rewards for my missions, and when i logged out, CCP would ban us all for no reason and make us play WoW. Amarr: And you try and tell the noobs of today that ..... they won't believe you. ALL: They won't! Master story Mister Jones! Master story! And this where my favorite part!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.13 16:12:00 - [259] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/09/2008 16:14:40 Originally by: Niccolado Starwalker Master story Mister Jones! Master story! And this where my favorite part! Aim to please, aim to please And while i'm here...another bit, where Wrangler finds his limit and manners again: ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yes hello, i have a complaint. Wrangler: Very well sir, do tell. Customer: It is a complaint of a complaintive nature. Wrangler: That much i gathered sir, now, the complaint? Customer: Ah yes, it is about EVE. Wrangler: Didn't expect anything else sir. It is? Customer: The complaint, about EVE, that is of a complantive nature is as follows. Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: ...yes sir? Customer: What? Wrangler: Your complaint sir. Customer: Ah yes! It's fixed then? Wrangler: ...you haven't told me of it yet sir. Customer: I didn't? Wrangler: No sir, i'm quite sure i'd remember if you did. Customer: What was it about? Wrangler: I don't know sir, that's why i'm asking. Customer: Ah right. Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: Well sir? Customer: Oh yes, bit of a cold. Wrangler: No sir, i meant "well?" as a question regarding the complaint you have. Customer: Oh i see. Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: ...what is it sir? Customer: Oh the complaint! Right! Wrangler: Finally, now then, your complaint sir? Customer: There's a certain lack of....you sure this is the complaints section of CCP? Wrangler: ...quite sir. Customer: 'cause i'd hate to bother you if this was the wrong place. Wrangler: Right place sir. Customer: And you handle the complaints? Wrangler: I do. Customer: Right then. Wrangler: Quite right. Right place, right person, right time, right about now sir? Customer: Yes, very well then. Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: WELL?!?! Customer: Ah yes! The complaint about EVE, that is of the complaintive nature, for the lack of "We interrupt this bit due to interruption. We shall continue with the bit after the interruption is over. Thank you, and have a lovely evening." My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Iron Wraith	Posted - 2008.09.13 19:19:00 - [260] hehe thanks i remember in beta when our corp had one thorax, and we all took turns to fly it and get our picture (screenshot) taken. true story that an all. didnt mean to derail though, i thought you'd throw one of those old farts at wrangler for some complaining Because sometimes you just have to go back to your roots: [2005.02.20 01:08:03] (combat) Your Civilian Light Electron Blaster perfectly strikes Serpentis Smuggler, wrecking for 20.3 damage

Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.13 19:20:00 - [261] I have a request. Two, actually. Have the first deal with CSM's, please. And the second, with alts. Thanks! Originally by: CCP Greyscale consciously deciding not to join a corp is pretty much deciding that you don't want to have fun
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.13 19:29:00 - [262] Originally by: Iron Wraith didnt mean to derail though, i thought you'd throw one of those old farts at wrangler for some complaining That would've been the obvious course, but instead, thought i'd do an "fromage" of sorts to the original. It is funny afterall Originally by: Ruze I have a request. Two, actually. Have the first deal with CSM's, please. And the second, with alts. Thanks! Sometimes i wonder if people even read thee things My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.13 19:38:00 - [263] Weird, but I've been reading each of your posts, and honestly hadn't read that one. Going back to see if I miss any more Originally by: CCP Greyscale consciously deciding not to join a corp is pretty much deciding that you don't want to have fun
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.13 20:56:00 - [264] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/09/2008 20:58:50 Originally by: Ruze Weird, but I've been reading each of your posts, and honestly hadn't read that one. Going back to see if I miss any more Blame saturday, he's nowhere as good as friday you know. waits for groans and light giggles There, now then, you had a request and here it is: ------ ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to report a bug! Wrangler: A bug? Customer: A bug. Wrangler: What seems to be the bug? Customer: Well you see wh ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer 2: I wish to report a bug! Wrangler: A bug? Customer 2: A bug. Wrangler: What seems to be the...hang on... Customer 2: Well you see wh ding ding Wrangler: Hello there an Customer 3: I wish to report a bug! Wrangler: A...bug? Customer 3: A bug. Wrangler: Now this is just Customer 3: You see when i ding ding Wrangler: You wish to report a bug? Customer 4: I wish to report a bug! Wrangler: Now hold on!! ding ding Customer 5: I wish t BANG! Customer 5: Argh! Wrangler holds a gun: "Right, you!" points gun at Customer 1 Customer: Me? Wrangler: Yes! You wanted to report a bug, what is it? Customer: I can't seem to be able to warp. Wrangler: Right, and you? waves gun at Customer 2 Customer 2: I can't seem to be able to warp. Wrangler: And you i assume points gun at Customer 3 can't warp, right? Customer 3: Seems so. Wrangler: Right. Well. It seems you all have the same lines, same manners, same face and... ding BANG! Customer 6: ARGH!! Wrangler: ...all in all seem to be of one similar source of annoyance. Customer 4: What about me? Wrangler: The writer forgot about you so you can bugger off. Customer 4: Right. ding BANG! Customer 4: Argh!! Customer: That was uncalled for! Wrangler: Sorry, sorry, reflex. Customer 2: Now, we don't want an altercation here do we? Wrangler: What? Customer 2: I said we don't want an alt BANG! ARGH!! Wrangler: I heard you. Customer: Hold on a minute! Customer 3: Yeah! You can't just shoot people like that! BANG! Customer 3: ARGH!! Customer: Hold on a darn minute! Wrangler: What seems to be the problem? Customer: You're shooting all my al Wrangler lifts a brow. Customer: These people! Wrangler: They were being silly. Customer: They did no such thing! Wrangler: You say ding? waves gun Customer: NO! I said no such thing! Wrangler: Right. Well. You had a bug? Customer: I think this is hardly a time to discuss bugs! You shot them! Wrangler: Self defence. Customer: Se...self defence?! Wrangler: They were about to host a coup. Customer: A coup!!? They were reporting a bug! Wrangler: Too many of you around. My nerves can't take it. Customer: Right, i want compensation! Customer 3: Me...t BANG! Customer: Stop that! Wrangler: Right, sorry. Customer: Sorry?! You killed 5 of my CLICK! Wrangler: Blast... Customer: Hah! You're out of bullets! Wrangler: Lucky day i suppose. Customer: Look! I want my al...other selves back and i want this damn warp bug fixed! Wrangler: ...no. Customer: NO?! Wrangler: I don't feel like it. Customer: Don't...don't feel like it?! Wrangler: Yes. This bit has gone too long and it's kind of silly altogether. Customer: That's no reason! Wrangler: Yes it is, good night. ding ding Customer: Wha...who...i just wanted my altsding...BANG! ARGH!! Wrangler: Found a spare. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Jakus Cemendur Caldari Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.09.13 21:10:00 - [265] Edited by: Jakus Cemendur on 13/09/2008 21:10:53 Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha breaths hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha passes out from laughing Absolutely fantastic thread. Loved the last one. ding BANG! AAGH! ------
Jakus Cemendur Caldari Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.09.13 21:10:00 - [266] Edited by: Jakus Cemendur on 13/09/2008 21:10:33 Glitch forum double post ------
Aeswynne	Posted - 2008.09.13 23:04:00 - [267] Keep it up SJ,the alts were brilliant. This Thread Still Needs Stickying.
Aeswynne Caldari School of Applied Knowledge	Posted - 2008.09.14 06:26:00 - [268] Ding* Ding* Oveurs Voice: Wrangler..Wrangler! Wrangler: Yes Boss, Sir, Lord, Master OV: Why are you letting that Jones Character take the p*** out of CCP? Wrangler: I.. er.. Ummm, how do you mean? OV: In fact you're helping him by appearing in his sketches Wrangler: No not me, never, I wouldn't dream of doing such a low down thing as that Sir OV: Do I have to beat the truth out of you?... Wrangler:... Wrangler: Ooo yes please, erm no, er well er OV: Where's that bloody nerf bat, Wrangler come here Wrangler: Not Bloody likely, you'll kill me you mad sod! OV: Wrangler wait til I get my hands on you, come here Ding* Ding* Thought I'd give it a go Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Zeba Minmatar Pator Tech School	Posted - 2008.09.14 06:29:00 - [269] How the hell did I miss this thread? inappropriate signature. ~WeatherMan
b1zz	Posted - 2008.09.14 10:45:00 - [270] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Amarr: You were lucky. We had the corp for one hour, in an unnamed jetcan. We used to have to get up every hour, twice on DT, move the stuff to a new jetcan, one by one as we didn't have stacking, go mission, for 12 hours, for 10 isk, and when we got back we'd get popped by the devs. Caldari: Luxury. Nice homage to one of the greatest ever Monty Python skits, The Four Yorkshireman. "You were lucky..." Btw, you can use the dash for interruptions, as in: b1zz: You can use the dash when there's an interruption. It keeps things cleare-- Sheriff: Yeah yeah yeah, grammar police are fu-- Navigator: locked No swearing in the public forum. How many times do I hav-- Wrangler: You're fired! I'm tired of your heavy handi-- God: Zorch HA HA HA HAAAAhhhhh...never liked that guy anyway to be hone-- Mom: click Jimmy! Are you playing with your CCP staff action figures in the dark again. Go to bed young m-- etc... Sorry, couldn't resist. Was getting lost in places where you cut off a word but not sure if you're cutting or not. Anyway, keep it up man, this is good shit. And feel free to let your comedic attention wonder over my way if you feel I have stepped over the line here.

Gabrialle Amarr Sunspot Requisitions Worlds End Consortium	Posted - 2008.09.14 21:52:00 - [271] FFS sticky!
JamnOne Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.15 20:35:00 - [272] Hey Sheriff, We need some more skits/laughs on these here forums. Also, glad to see Icelanders have the same form of gun control as we do in the States. ________________ Poor is the nation that has no heroes. Shameful is the one that, having heroes - Forgets them! Author Unknown
ceyriot Entropians on Vacation	Posted - 2008.09.16 00:45:00 - [273] Whatever page this was on...well, we can't have that, can we? (unless is was at the top...then we CAN have that) Faction Store - Killboard
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.16 06:47:00 - [274] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 16/09/2008 06:49:00 Du du dun!! Hilmar: Wrangler, you are brought infront of the supreme beings of CCP for the following reasons... Wrangler: Where's the ding? Hilmar: Sleeping on the job... Wrangler: There was supposed to be a ding... Hilmar: Giving un-warranted items such as the ISK Seller Attractor to customers... Wrangler: How does one know it starts without t-- Hilmar: Forget about the bloody ding!! Wrangler: ...sorry boss. Hilmar: Giving unwarranted items, and advice, to customers. Wrangler: Someone has to. Hilmar: SILENCE! Wrangler: ... Hilmar: Causing a...heart attack?! Wrangler: Accident, honest. Hilmar: *Letting Navigator* run the shop. Changing peoples trainings AND skills.** Wrangler: Well only Eris's... Hilmar: Look, Wrangley, i know this is difficult and i don't like it any more then you do, but i'm trying to be all ruley and mighty here. Wrangler: Oh sorry boss...i'll zip it. zip Hilmar: Couldn't do that before? Wrangler: Makes for a good pun. Hilmar: Right, ahehem...and skills! Keeping the shop closed while eating a pizza! And among other such acts unbecoming of employee decore and morale-- Wrangler: Pfft. Hilmar: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Hilmar: ---SHOT...6 people with a PISTOL and several with lasers, missiles, artilleries and other various items of destruction! How do you plead?! Wrangler: If you stabby stab me? Hilmar: I'll just add defying a superior-- Wrangler: Double pfft. Hilmar: ....officer. If you have nothing to say about these charges, Wrangler, i have no choice but to let you know... Wrangler: Oh oh oh! Hilmar: Yeees? Wrangler: Oh oh..um...oh...err... Hilmar: What is it?! Wrangler: I forgot. Hilmar: You have nothing right? Wrangler: Nope. Hilmar: ...RIGHT! Wrangler, i have no choice but to let you know... Wrangler: Hold for dramatic pause... Hilmar: .... Wrangler: ... Eris: ... Hilmar: I'll get to you later. Eris: Sorry. ding ding Wrangler: Aha!! Hilmar: Wrangler! Wrangler: Sorry. Go on boss. Hilmar: YOU'RE FIRED!! Wrangler: ...it's only a skit you know. (This was the 50th bit(of mine) on the thread girls and boys. Almost trumps the views of the ambulation questions, has almost more pages then the biggest complaint threads on the forums and..well...thanks! It's been fun, but as with all things, time to move on and let other things come to....Nah! Kidding ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Mazaron ACE'S OVER 8'S Southern Cross Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.16 07:21:00 - [275] Originally by: Sheriff Jones It's been fun, but as with all things, time to move on and let other things come to....Nah! Kidding ) ....I was about to call in the nerf bat >:(
Chillshock	Posted - 2008.09.16 21:10:00 - [276] Sheriff? You can't quit being goofy and you know it!
ceyriot Entropians on Vacation	Posted - 2008.09.16 22:42:00 - [277] need moar!!! Faction Store - Killboard
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.17 09:23:00 - [278] Originally by: Chillshock Sheriff? You can't quit being goofy and you know it! Just to clear this silly misconception to those who reaad half and then explode, i'm not quitting, it was a joke, in honoyr of the 50th skitbit My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.17 17:28:00 - [279] A little note from the editor: I'm doing a special project regarding the Shop and now i need YOU points...err...no...the guy behind you...yeah YOU to send me questions about "CCP shop" via EVEMail. This project will take a bit out of the CCP Shop schedule, but will return in full force again no fear Questions can relate to anything about EVE, CCP Shop, me, etc. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Aeswynne Caldari Rognvald Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.17 22:00:00 - [280] Bump lookout soon for Manhunt..... The search for SJ and Wrangler cue lots of stompy boots an Neanderthal grunting from Concords Goonswarm Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!

Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.18 02:11:00 - [281] I would hereby like to place my official seal of bumpage on this thread. Not that my seal maeans anything of course. Then again maybe it does? I shall never know. Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post
Aeswynne Caldari Rognvald Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.18 07:08:00 - [282] Jones, Wrangler, This is Concord, we know your in there, lay down your wrtiting implements and come out with your hands on your head behind your back and give yourselves up. Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.18 08:10:00 - [283] Edited by: Taradis on 18/09/2008 08:11:08 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 11/09/2008 14:13:08 ((Couple of requests that fit the same segment. Hope you wishers enjoy! ) Originally by: Jaketh Ivanes Sheriff, we need one with G.I.R.L's ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Hi there handsome! giggles Wrangler: Err... Customer: Wanna touch my breasts? bounces up and down Wrangler: Umm... Customer: Come on! Give a girl some iskies! Wrangler: I... Customer: Love you long time! Hihihihi. Wrangler: Dude! Customer: Hmm? giggle Wrangler: You do know that making a girl avatar doesn't change you to a girl in real life? Customer: ... Wrangler: Seriously... Customer: I gotta go. ding ding Originally by: Rastelle my humble suggestion for the next "boobies and boosters" ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'd like some boosters. Wrangler: Certainly sir, what kind, intelligence? Customer: No. Wrangler: Memory? Customer: Nah... Wrangler: Combat efficiency? Customer: Not quite. Wrangler: Then what? Customer: Boobies. Wrangler: Excuse me...? Customer: Boo. Bies. Wrangler: You want...boobie boosters? Customer nods; "M-hm." Wrangler: We don't have any. Customer: But i want some! Wrangler: We don't have boobie boosters! Now tick off. Customer: Ok ok, can i have something else? Wrangler: What? Customer: Booby traps. Wrangler: ... Customer: Smart Boobs? Wrangler: NO! No boobies of any kind! Customer: An industrial? Wrangler: What? Customer: Could i have an industrial. Wrangler: Sure, which one? Customer: The boob-tower. Wrangler: ... Customer: Boobger? Wrangler: Get. Out. Customer: Mammary Mammoth? Wrangler: OOOUT!!! ding ding! Wrangler sighs. ding... Customer peeks through door; Titeron MK-V? Wrangler throws a shoe at door. ...ding! ding ding Wrangler: Yes hell-o there welcome to the oh hell its you again! Customer: Yes never fear tis me here Wrangler: What is it now? I have better things to do than deal with the likes of you.. Customer: I was wondering if you have a boobadiction back there..?... Wrangler: A boobawhatiction Customer: A boobadiction.. you know a malediction with boobs Wrangler: As I told you before no boobs back here now leave before I nerf you Customer: but but but.... I need Boobs,big bouncy boobs... Wrangler: What you need is plastic surgery and then you can have all the boob/s u want among other things.. Customer: I don't want boobs on me just on my items honestly, oh what about a boobaddon or a boobageddon Wrangler:looks at the customer annoyed and gazes into the camera while letting out a long sigh OUT! OUT! OUT! NO BOOBS FOR YOU FOR I AM THE BOOB ***! Customer: Not even a lil boob Wrangler:whips out the nerf bat from under the counter and chases the customer from the store* and stay out! Ding Ding I tried
Bruja Ry Caldari Copperhead Arsenal	Posted - 2008.09.18 10:03:00 - [284] Good work Sheriff, keep it up. http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=807663&page=1
Aeswynne Caldari Rognvald Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.18 18:34:00 - [285] Edited by: Aeswynne on 18/09/2008 18:34:58 Concord Notice is hereby given that the assets of the Felon Jones are seized, the shop is closed, and Wrangler faces severe punishment.(500 Strokes of the Nerf Bat) Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.18 18:51:00 - [286] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 18/09/2008 18:51:28 Right...Aeswynne...i didn't mind the manhunt, i know you want me caught...but...You're in my world now! ding ding Aeswynne: Hello? Explorer: Hm? Aeswynne: Is, Wrangler here? Explorer: No. Aeswynne: Any idea w-- Explorer: No. Aeswynne: Look i just wa-- Explorer: You don't. Aeswynne: You don't even know-- Explorer: I know...everything. Aeswynne: That's bu-- Explorer: It's not. Aeswynne: I demand-- Explorer presses button. Aeswynne: What does that-- two men in black suits drag Aeswynne away Aeswynne: What?! Let me go!! Explorer: Have a...lifts a brow and thinks...nii..ce, day. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Estar Tarns Equilibrium Inc.	Posted - 2008.09.18 21:58:00 - [287] Edited by: Estar Tarns on 18/09/2008 21:59:18 This stuff is hillarious! You saved a whole sub-forum with this. Now, if there was a way to save the CAOD sub-forum.. Ninja edit: Wonder why no one have asked one about Chribba hint hint nudge nudge Signature!
Kash Ka Amarr Point of No Return	Posted - 2008.09.18 23:44:00 - [288] bump must stay at the top!!! --------------==============================-------------- Forgiveness is between you and god, im just here to arrange the meeting.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.19 00:21:00 - [289] Ok. Honestly guys. I've had more views, and especially more replies then the worst whines on these boards. You're too much My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
ceyriot Entropians on Vacation	Posted - 2008.09.19 03:24:00 - [290] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Ok. Honestly guys. I've had more views, and especially more replies then the worst whines on these boards. You're too much Don't stop here. Go for the biggest theadnaught EVER Faction Store - Killboard

Karrade Krise	Posted - 2008.09.19 07:26:00 - [291] Good stuff :D Here's a couple of ideas. And something along the lines of "suicide gankers" waiting outside the shop door for Wrangler with bats and a net to web him. And anything that has anything to do with Fanfest
War Porcika Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.09.19 08:16:00 - [292] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Hilmar: ---SHOT...6 people... No that wasn't us. Honest.
Aeswynne Caldari Rognvald Corporation	Posted - 2008.09.19 10:16:00 - [293] Edited by: Aeswynne on 19/09/2008 10:18:44 Edited by: Aeswynne on 19/09/2008 10:16:49 Ding Ding Wrangler; Oh it's you Jones SJ; Quick you gotta hide it's da fuzz, Oveur set the fuzz on us Wrangler; You're kidding! Right? SJ; Nope, Concord is searching fer the 2 of us, right now, summat bout crimes against the state Wrangler; Panics and runs round in circles The sound of tramping feet and doors being kicked in is heard Wrangler;Oh what have you done, what have you done? SJ: Whatya mean, What have I done, you're just as involved as me mate. Your the one that let me use the shop. Got any guns, we could be like Butch and Sundance. Wrangler: You know what CCCP stands for right? SJ; Riiiiight Wrangler ever notice how close CCP is ta CCCP? SJ; Yea what's that got ta do with anything? Wrangler: Well it's like this mutter, mutter mutter SJ; You're pulling my leg! Wrangler; No seriously it's him, Concord is really the NKVD SJ runs round in circles flapping, what we gonna do, they'll kill me, us Sound of boots kicking in doors gets closer Wrangler legs it out the back exit leaving SJ flapping Make the universe a better friendlier place, NUKE JITA.... Someone PLEASE? What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Ms Understanding	Posted - 2008.09.20 00:01:00 - [294] DING DING Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? customer: HELLO WRANGLER. Wrangler: Are you alright Sir, you look quite pale... customer: I AM FINE. Wrangler: So... what brings you here? customer: I GOT NOTE THAT YOU HAD SOME CONTROVERSY WITH CONCORD. Wrangler: Yeah... well.. nothing to write home about... customer: INDEED. Wrangler: ... but the problem was solved for good. customer: I CAN CONFIRM THAT. Wrangler: So, any complaints I could help you with? customer: NO. Wrangler gets nervous Wrangler: I can't avoid to notice that Scythe you are carrying there. customer: YOU HAVE A KEEN PERCEPTION. MOST PEOPLE TEND TO IGNORE IT. Wrangler: May I give you a hint:"WoW is that way" giggles customer SHAKES HEAD Wrangler: You are not the funny kind, are you? customer: COMES WITH THE JOB. Wrangler: Speaking of job, what was your concern again? customer: ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE CONCEPT OF TERMINAL LOSS OF LIFE? Wrangler: Like in ... being podded? customer: NOT QUITE. IMAGINE THERE IS NO STATION TO WAKE UP IN. Wrangler: Perhaps a mothership or Titan with clone vet bay? customer: NO sigh Wrangler: See, we can play this a bit longer or I could just admit that i can see my body on the floor over there ... and over there... and ... ah well, nerf CONCORD. customer: TOO LATE. Wrangler: What about that myth that your -errr- customers can play a final game and if they win they get to live on? customer: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE READ THE FINE PRINT. Wrangler: Ha, gotcha. So I can choose the game? customer: sigh YES. Wrangler: How about EVE? customer: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN EVE? Wrangler: Good point. Frigate tournament? customer: THIS OPTION WILL ONLY BE VALID AFTER THE NANO NERF. Wrangler: Cruiser? customer: SEE ABOVE. Wrangler: Battleships? customer: EVER SEEN MY CNR FITTING? Wrangler: Err.. Whats your account name? customer: NO CHEATING. YOU ALREADY GOT FIRED FOR THAT. Wrangler: A duel in WoW? customer: I HAVE A LVL60 NECROMANCING DEATHKNIGHT. JUST FOR THE CHANGE. I DONT HAVE MANY RETURNING CUSTOMERS IN REAL L... WHATEVER! Wrangler: Could you just pretend you didn't find me? customer: NOPE, BOSS WOULD KNOW. Wrangler: ... desperately searching for an escape route Wrangler: I just wish I could have fixed the drone AI before I died. looks up innocently customer: NOW WE ARE GETTING THERE! HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE YOU? Wrangler: It was already on the priority list! whisers '...for about 3 years' customer: OK,SO I WILL COME BACK RIGHT AFTER YOU FIXED THAT. CAN'T TAKE LONG ANYWAY. Wrangler: It will be fixed SOONÖ. customer: SEE YOU ON PATCHDAY. OR THE DAY AFTER AS I NEVER PLAY ON PATCHDAY. TOO MUCH WORK. STUPID NERDS TRYING TO GO SHOPPING DURING DAY TIMES CAUSE THERE IS NO SERVER RUNNING. LIKE VAMPIRES BUT WITHOUT THE INHERITED KNOWLEDGE THAT SUNLIGHT WILL KILL THEM. DING DING Wrangler: I will just ignore him until he files a PROPER bug report. Maybe I can't WIN EvE, but I can make bugs stay FOREVER! evil laughter Outside: customer riding away slowly: THAT WAS A GOOD START. FORGIVE ME BOSS, I JUST COULD NOT STAND MY DRONES ATTACKING RANDOM TARGETS ANY LONGER. customer: LETS SEE. CCP CHRONOTIS ... PROMISED LOVE TO MINING DRONES IN JANUARY. TIME TO PAY HIM A VISIT. WHO SAID THERE ARE NO ELEPHANTS FALLING FROM THE SKY IN ICELAND? TOO BAD NOBODY TOLD THAT TO THE ELEPHANTS. SNICKERS
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.21 02:15:00 - [295] This thread needs a good cleaning with some type of agent to remove imitators... calls in SJ Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post
Hyperforce99 Gallente Infinite Covenant Knights of the Singularity	Posted - 2008.09.21 09:08:00 - [296] Indeed
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.21 10:57:00 - [297] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 21/09/2008 11:04:55 Originally by: Lance Fighter This thread needs a good cleaning with some type of agent to remove imitators... calls in SJ I'm on a bit of a hiatus, just wait for it, should get something done today that should clear some of it Well, not really clear, and i don't mind people contributing, just something...else My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
The Herrick Gallente SniggWaffe	Posted - 2008.09.21 12:40:00 - [298] Best thing on the intertubes ever. Originally by: Blane Xero Screw your stuff, can I have your wife?
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.09.21 14:38:00 - [299] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 21/09/2008 11:04:55 Originally by: Lance Fighter This thread needs a good cleaning with some type of agent to remove imitators... calls in SJ I'm on a bit of a hiatus, just wait for it, should get something done today that should clear some of it Well, not really clear, and i don't mind people contributing, just something...else >.> but... but... sigh Come back soon? :\ Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post
Beardponderer You're Doing It Wrong	Posted - 2008.09.21 15:06:00 - [300] It'll be worth the wait

Anahid Brutus TunkbwahCorp GoonSwarm	Posted - 2008.09.21 15:29:00 - [301] Originally by: Beardponderer It'll be worth the wait Yeah :)
No1ne Caldari W33D Corp. Elitist Cowards	Posted - 2008.09.22 10:06:00 - [302] dont know how i missed this thread but very good job, laughed my ass at work:) Is there some1 that can draw(well)? These would look amazing into strips:) ---------------------------------- ....Next Level
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins Ethereal Dawn	Posted - 2008.09.24 08:14:00 - [303] bah bumpabump bump
white kight SwEaTy ArMpIT RaIDeRs Coalition of Independent Corporations	Posted - 2008.09.24 10:28:00 - [304] Major Bumpage go Sherriff. Sad to see you are on hiatus. This is the highlight of my day!!! Originally by: CCP Navigator Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue
De Vito Mythos Corp RAZOR Alliance	Posted - 2008.09.24 16:10:00 - [305] Nice one...
Rika Lave Minmatar	Posted - 2008.09.29 08:20:00 - [306] rofl! the best thread ever! and we demand MOAR!
Aclyn Seriy Gallente Center for Advanced Studies	Posted - 2008.09.29 14:11:00 - [307] BUUUUUUUUMPP!!!!! Come on Jonesy, don't keep us waiting all day man......
Julius Rigel House Rigel	Posted - 2008.09.29 15:40:00 - [308] You impatient ungrateful people! Can't you see that Sheriff is busy singing in here?!
Chris Liath Gallente Red Dwarf Mining Corporation space weaponry and trade	Posted - 2008.09.29 16:16:00 - [309] Seriously, Sheriff. I want you to have my manbabies.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.30 16:18:00 - [310] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 30/09/2008 16:21:07 Without me! In 5...4...3...2...1... [Roy Batty] "CCP, pro devs, no gimmicks!" [Record Scratches] [Beat Changes] Two station camping guys wait on the outside, on the outside, on the outside. Two station camping guys wait on the outside, on the outside, on the outside. [Jones] Boom! [Female Voice] "Neeeeeeerf!" Guess who's back, back again. Jones is back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back... [Jones] I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to See Jonesy no more, they want Wrangler, I'm popped wreckage. Well, if you want Wrangler, this is what I'll give ya. A little bit of beer inside a soda streamah. Some quafe that will jumpstart TQ quicker, Then my rookie ship when it gets shot by a capital, by the devs when I'm not co-operating, When I'm pokin' the server while its still restarting "Hey!" You waited this long for my new posting, now I'm back, I'm on the keyboard and words are spewing. I know that he's not home Mrs Wrangley, But without your husband this threads complicated. So the G and D won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see, They tried to get me banned by CCP. But it feels so testie, without me. So get a grip, restart these bits, Post back, Shoot from hip, and wiggle a bit, And get ready 'cause this threads about to get heavy. I just finished all my WoW quests, "** i'm ready!!!" Chorus: Now this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testie without me. I said this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testie without me. Little flamers, trolls feelin' rebellious. Embarrassed, devs hate when they take a big **, They start feelin' like noobies, they're helpless, 'Till someone comes along with a thread and posts THIS! A looneytuney, looney that's scary, could start his own asylum, Fillig the dull days, A Sheriff, So let me just lean a bit back, at the fact that I got everyone huntin' my ass, when it's a disaster, such a big fail trophy, when i post things straight out of my ass, you asked for me? Well I'm back (Da Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) log your alt in here an' post your flame and then hit enter. Bump and under, in your face like a camper. The center of affection, back for the winter, I'm just posting, the best things and wrecking, this whole thing, that the trolls got here going. "Testing: Attention Please!" Feel the heat when, they see a thread by me. Here's my 10 isks, my 2 isks is free. A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.09.30 16:19:00 - [311] Chorus: Now this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testie without me. I said this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testie without me. Verse 3: I write-it and post-it, I go tit for tat with, anybody who's postin' this shit, nerf this. Nanos the first hit, get your own humor bit, Worse than them little Jones hatin' flamers. And Minnies?, they can get nerfed by Wrangley, Those ductape loving weirdos, who popped me! You don't pwn me, you're ships old, Let go, it's over, i'm back at home in EVE-O! Now let's go, just light my thread signal, I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults, I been roped, Wrangley stole my pencil, Ever since Chribba branded himself with a Veld symbol (Mining laser sound) But sometimes the threads just seems, Everybody only wants to pump from me, So this must mean I'm dispensing, but it's just me, i'm not free bree! Though I'm not the first guy of controversy, I am the worst thing since Curson Dax is, To rip off music so selfishly. And use it to get people lolling! (Hey!) There's a concept that works. 20 million other crap threads may emerge, But no matta how many locked by CCP, It'll feel so testie... without me. Chorus: Now this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testy without me. I said this looks like a post by me, So everybody, can lol at me. 'Cause we need a good laugh, in G'n'D. 'Cause it feels so testy without me. La-la-lawl-lawl-lawl-la, la-la-lawl-lawl-la La-la-lawl-lawl-la, la-la-la-la! La-la-lawl-lawl-lawl-la, la-la-lawl-lawl-la La-la-lawl-lawl-la, la-la-la-la! "Sigs!" ding ding Customer: So...when's Wrangler back? Jones: SoonÖ
Juliette Leblanc Gallente Federal Navy Academy	Posted - 2008.09.30 16:59:00 - [312] ROTFL. Now go make the very first eve-rap video.
Ooyama Caldari Rastana CMP Motivated and Determined	Posted - 2008.09.30 17:15:00 - [313] FINALLY something worthwhile reading in GD again . Cool one SJ,, oh,, and petition retracted . "Yama".
Ripcha Headov Art of War Exalted.	Posted - 2008.09.30 17:22:00 - [314] ROFLMAO!! fantastic!
RagnhildR en	Posted - 2008.10.02 08:50:00 - [315] Jones you will get caught by Concord soon enough. When they do catch you I can haz yer stuff pliz What are you doing in my pod? GTFO!
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2008.10.02 22:06:00 - [316] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yeah, what the heck is this thread doing on page 3? Wrangler: Sorry... had a little nap. hits thread Bumpage Button Wrangler: There you go! Anything else? Customer: That should do it. Ta. ding ding Sig removed, inappropriate content. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint
the Entity Fah King Corp	Posted - 2008.10.03 02:16:00 - [317] SHERIFF YOU ARE A GOD!!! give this man a medal...a fahkit -he wins eve fullstop! _______________________ is this my sig? no this is :P
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.10.03 02:26:00 - [318] Edited by: Lance Fighter on 03/10/2008 02:27:07 Ahahah nicely done there jones! Make me lol :D As a completely related side note; why can i not place where i have heard that song? on my pandora dance station, yes, but what song? >.< edit: not exactly that song, but the back of it... the music in the background... ugh... I dunno how to explain it in words >.< Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.03 07:10:00 - [319] Originally by: Lance Fighter Edited by: Lance Fighter on 03/10/2008 02:27:07 Ahahah nicely done there jones! Make me lol :D As a completely related side note; why can i not place where i have heard that song? on my pandora dance station, yes, but what song? >.< edit: not exactly that song, but the back of it... the music in the background... ugh... I dunno how to explain it in words >.< If you click the orange text o my songs here, you'll find out My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Inturist Soviet Fleet	Posted - 2008.10.03 08:46:00 - [320] LOL , nice thread , keep em comin --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Black Tahee1	Posted - 2008.10.03 10:35:00 - [321] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Sheriff Jones: Can I get an Nightelf Mohawk here? Wrangler frowns Wrangler: I will have to check in the backroom give me a minute Sheriff Jones: I'll wait here. Sounds of wrangler searching through the boxes Wrangler: Do you want it in a specific ship class? Sheriff Jones: No ship I want to use it in WoW. Wrangler: What? Wrangler pushes a big red button Sound of hinges moving Sheriff Jones falling through the floor landing in a dumpster. ding ding
Ervol Libra Amarr Invenio Inceptum	Posted - 2008.10.04 11:38:00 - [322] Nice topic post moar
Thodoros Mythos Corp RAZOR Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.05 19:08:00 - [323] Great work SJ; Also if i can make a request, please? Something with players/characters in 0.0 and fleet battles will be nice!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.08 08:07:00 - [324] Ahehem... dong dong No wait... shakes off rust and dust ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Marvelous! We've been expecting new shipment of complaints for quite some time looks at camera Customer: I wish to complain about the lack of envirno...eniviro...stuff in space! Wrangler: There's stuff in space sir. Customer: A few planets and stations won't do! Wrangler: What do you wish for then sir? Customer: I want debris, and toxic clouds and anomalanomies-- Wrangler: We are work-- Customer: And emp effecting fields and warp inhibitatimating solar flares and-- Wrangler: As i said w-- Customer: And exploding stars and spacewhales and-- Wrangler: Space what? Customer: And flying spaghetti monsters and cakes on moons and things that go pheeeeiiiiw! and blinky lights and voice trails off Wrangler: Cakes..o...huh? Customer: And blue stripes on missiles and turbocharged spacemonkeys and-- Wrangler: Sir!! Customer: Yes? Wrangler: Are you on some kind of medication? Customer: No. Wrangler: Should you be? Customer: NO! Wrangler: Well all those waves hand things you explained won't be in EVE. Ever. Sir. Customer: Why not? Wrangler: 'cause i believe turbocharged spacemonkeys might destroy the immersion a bit. Customer: Really? Wrangler: Just a smidge. Customer: Oh. Wrangler: Quite, now, is there anything i can actually help you with? Customer: S-- Wrangler: And before you start, no spacewhales, spacecake, spacebars or...well actually with ambulation you'll get space-bars, but-- Customer: Aha! Thank you! ding ding Wrangler: Oh god... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Niccolado Starwalker Shadow Templars	Posted - 2008.10.08 12:36:00 - [325] Originally by: Sheriff Jones [....] Wrangler: And before you start, no spacewhales, spacecake, spacebars or...well actually with ambulation you'll get space-bars, but-- Customer: Aha! Thank you! ding ding Wrangler: Oh god... ROFL! Great work mr. Sheriff! Originally by: Dianabolic Your tears are absolutely divine, like a fine fine wine, rolling down your cheeks until they flow down the river of LOL
white kight SwEaTy ArMpIT RaIDeRs	Posted - 2008.10.08 12:46:00 - [326] YAY SHERRIFF IS BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Originally by: CCP Navigator Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue
John McDuff Caldari Jovian Labs Jovian Enterprises	Posted - 2008.10.08 13:04:00 - [327] just read the entire thing, taking the 'hour' out of a good 4 hrs of work (not minding at the least tbh). Keep em coming. A sticky would be required as well... --- "Everyone speaks of my drinking, but never of my thirst" Everyone can now start bowing down to me in an orderly fashion...
Riga Mortiss	Posted - 2008.10.08 16:27:00 - [328] This thread is 100% pure WIN!!.... Sheriff Jones for El Presidente!!! *he can't kawk it up any more than Mr. George W has done already... and lets face it. it would be nice to get someone in the elliptical Office that HAS half a brain..
IR Scoutar Caldari State War Academy	Posted - 2008.10.08 23:08:00 - [329] god i allmost missed the latest ccp shop same on you page 2 !
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr RONA Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.09 05:07:00 - [330] Holly cow, Jones is back! Smurfs rejoice! Great stuff again, Jonesy _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.

Math'ra Hiede Amarr Quality Assurance Inc.	Posted - 2008.10.10 12:09:00 - [331] Slipped to page 2, such a travesty shall not occur! Bumped for the man who wins EvE! SJ
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.10 12:28:00 - [332] Hmh, well, since you guys are so eager... waits for it ding ding! Fallout: Welcome and...no..wait... Customer: Where's wrangler? Fallout: Hold on damnit! Customer: ... Fallout: Hello there, and welcome to..the CCP! How can i assist..no..how can i help you? Customer: Right. Umm. Where's Wrangler? Fallout: Out. Customer: When will he be in? Fallout: No idea. No wait..should i say that...shuffles papers...At this moment, we can neither confirm or deny any time schedule. Customer: Well...guess you'll do. Fallout: So, how can i help. Sir. Customer: Mam. Fallout: Oh sorry! Mam! Customer: Nah i'm just messing with ya, it's sir. Fallout: Oh...right, help you then sir? Customer: I was, curious, on if my new nano-bonus battleship was ready? Fallout: The nano...shuffles papers...the what? Customer: Nano-bonus ship. It's a balance to the nano nerf. Fallout: I don't think that's something i can give. Customer: Oh sure you can! Fallout: I really..well...you see i'm kinda new here. Customer: Oh we talked this with Wrangler ages ago. Fallout: Really? Customer: Really really. Fallout: Well, i guess if Wrangler... Customer: Oh he did. Fallout: It's a battleship? Customer: Mhm. Fallout: With bonuses to nano? Customer: Yup. Fallout: Any idea on the amount? Customer: 300%. Fallout: Noo... Customer: Oh yes, it's a big balance. Fallout: Well fine, fine...ok... Customer: Oh and there's a drone bonus too. Fallout: What? Customer: Oh yes. 200% to damage, and speed...and...hitpoints. Fallout: You're kidding... Customer: And paintjobs. Fallout: 200% bonus to paintjobs?! Customer: It's a VERY big balance. Fallout: I'm really not sure about this... Customer: Look, you're new, i'm old, and you don't want to tick off Wrangler right? Fallout: Well... Customer: Exactly, so how ab-- ding ding! Customer: Gotta go. ding ding! Wrangler: What was that? Fallout: Umm...nano whiner. Wrangler: Right right, well, back to work then. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.10.10 13:26:00 - [333] LOL, This made my day!
Webster Carr Gallente Magellan Exploration and Survey	Posted - 2008.10.10 16:39:00 - [334] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Hmh, well, since you guys are so eager... ding ding! Wrangler: What was that? Fallout: Umm...nano whiner. Wrangler: Right right, well, back to work then. LOL, wouldn't that be a 'Cross-Dressing Nano Whiner'?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.10 17:55:00 - [335] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 10/10/2008 17:57:02 (Guess it's time for a special guest ) ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Chribba: I wish to buy something. Wrangler: Hold up hold up...is that your capital parked outside? Chribba: Indeed it is. Wrangler: You can't park it there! Chribba: I most certainly can, i have-- looks at camera a permit. Wrangler: Hey! No looking at camera either, that's-- looks at camera my job. Chribba: Fair enough. Now, on to the purchase. Wrangler: Just so you know, we don't sell to minors here. Chribba: Outrageous! I feel that you can not simply judge me for my deep core mining adventures! Wrangler: No no, minors, not miners. Chribba: Ah very well. I am of adult age. Wrangler: Right, now then, what do you want sir? Chribba: I wish to buy veldspar. Wrangler: Veldspar? Chribba: Yes, veldspar. Wrangler: But the stars are filled with it! Chribba: I know, i wish to buy it out of the stars. Wrangler: Why...by jove...would you want to buy ALL of veldspar? Chribba: Mine your own business! Wrangler: Sorry sir, sorry sir. All of veldspar hmm? Chribba: Quite. Wrangler: And how were you planning on moving it? Chribba: I don't. I've fitted my veldnaught, the glorious beacon of hope, the epiphany of destiny, themarvelous magnitude of righteous-- Wrangler: Ahem! Chribba: I'ma blow it up. Wrangler: Sir? Chribba: I'll pack it nice and tight and blow it up into tiny little ickle bits. Wrangler: You do know what that would do to the market, right? Chribba: I do. Wrangler: Aaalrighty. How will you be paying? Chribba: With veldspar! Are you a fool? Wrangler: Veld...hold on...you're going to buy all of the veldspar in the stars-- Chribba: Yes. Wrangler: With the purpose of blowing it all up-- Chribba: Quite. Wrangler: WITH....veldspar? Chribba: Did i stutter? Wrangler: No, no, not at all. You do know the going rate for one veldspar unit is one veldspar unit? Chribba: I do, i have my veldspar right outside. Wrangler: ... Chribba: Is there a problem? Wrangler: No sir, not at all, i'll get the drones working on unloading your veldspar and loading our veldspar right away. Chribba: Wonderful. Wrangler: It'll take a while sir. Chribba: No worries, i'm in no hurry. Wrangler: It'll take quite a while. Chribba: In your own time whistles Wrangler: ...right. hours later Wrangler: Sir. Chribba: Yes? Wrangler: You could, come back. Chribba: I'll wait. Wrangler: ... Chribba: Have i told you about veldspar lately? Wrangler: No sir...sigh

CCP Fallout	Posted - 2008.10.10 18:01:00 - [336] Edited by: CCP Fallout on 10/10/2008 18:02:18 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Hmh, well, since you guys are so eager... waits for it ding ding! Fallout: Welcome and...no..wait... Customer: Where's wrangler? snipped for brevity amused :D

Aclyn Seriy Gallente Center for Advanced Studies	Posted - 2008.10.10 22:18:00 - [337] and a bump for the god that is sheriff jones Originally by: techzer0 I'm the failboat captain
Xavier Isaacson Minmatar Hollow World Mining Corporation	Posted - 2008.10.10 22:26:00 - [338] Is there anywhere i can get all this condensed down into a an "easy to lol at, spamless" format? Originally by: Verone BBC Trust are a sack of arses.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.10 22:38:00 - [339] Originally by: Xavier Isaacson Is there anywhere i can get all this condensed down into a an "easy to lol at, spamless" format? Sure can, ccp shop book volume 1. First 50 skits are there, nice and tight, fixed typos etc. And some bonus stuff too. Free of charge, naturally My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.10.11 01:50:00 - [340] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Xavier Isaacson Is there anywhere i can get all this condensed down into a an "easy to lol at, spamless" format? Sure can, ccp shop book volume 1. First 50 skits are there, nice and tight, fixed typos etc. And some bonus stuff too. Free of charge, naturally Win. Originally by: Dheorl Originally by: Akita T yawn I never knew it was possible to stretch your ego THAT much in 1 post

Xavier Isaacson Minmatar Hollow World Mining Corporation	Posted - 2008.10.11 11:17:00 - [341] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Xavier Isaacson Is there anywhere i can get all this condensed down into a an "easy to lol at, spamless" format? Sure can, ccp shop book volume 1. First 50 skits are there, nice and tight, fixed typos etc. And some bonus stuff too. Free of charge, naturally Epic Win, thanks dude Originally by: Verone BBC Trust are a sack of arses.
Suicidal Hamster Hamster Holding Corp	Posted - 2008.10.12 15:40:00 - [342] Great writings! Please continue! It's a shame that is on page 3. Free Bump!
Kethry Avenger Krell-Korp	Posted - 2008.10.12 19:27:00 - [343] Best thread ever! Keep them coming.
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr RONA Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.13 06:41:00 - [344] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Xavier Isaacson Is there anywhere i can get all this condensed down into a an "easy to lol at, spamless" format? Sure can, ccp shop book volume 1. First 50 skits are there, nice and tight, fixed typos etc. And some bonus stuff too. Free of charge, naturally OMG, that thing is "safe" for work...sure, not counting the countless uncountable explosions while pretending programming Thanks Sheriff and another bumpage _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.13 17:56:00 - [345] (This was promised earlier...and i'm going to hell...well...some wish ) ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Righto sir, and the issue is? Customer: This nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: Hold up. Nano? Customer: Yes, you're about to-- Wrangler: Right. Continue. Customer: Well, as i was saying, the nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: **ie head. Customer: Excuse me?! Wrangler: You heard me. ie head. Customer: How da-- Wrangler: Stupid says what. Customer: What?! Wrangler: Haha! You're a stupid iehead! Customer: Look, how is this-- Wrangler: Moooooom! *iehead is making funny faces!! Eris: Don't drag me into this...* Customer: Look here! Wrangler: Pull my finger! Customer: No! Wrangler: Waaaaaaaah!! Customer: What are you-- Wrangler throws a teddy at customer. Customer: Hey!! Wrangler: Can a have a wowwipop? Customer: Wowwi...what?! Look i want to com-- Wrangler: ***iehead and a goonie, sitting in a tree, k i s s i n Customer: You're acting like a baby!! Wrangler: See how it feels? Customer: ... Wrangler grins. Customer: Cheap. ding ding* My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Helios Nero	Posted - 2008.10.14 00:15:00 - [346] Awesome!
Khraunus Amarr Suddenly Ninjas	Posted - 2008.10.14 02:59:00 - [347] Pure awesome. Also, perhaps you could come up with a good 'dude, your face' skit It would be a good incentive for my finger to slip a little bit and accidentaly hit the 'send isk' button...
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.10.14 04:08:00 - [348] Here some ideas for future skits. "Carebears" New players fresh from WOW Low sec Titans Blobs Ambulation BoB vs Goonswarm "I, for one, welcome our new Russian overlords" Logoffski Thats it for now. I would attempt my own skit, but I'm sure it would suck horribly. Feel free to include me in one though __________________________________________________________ Originally by: Liang Nuren wrong forum isroy i am vjery drunm
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.14 06:47:00 - [349] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 14/10/2008 06:47:47 Originally by: Khraunus Pure awesome. Also, perhaps you could come up with a good 'dude, your face' skit It would be a good incentive for my finger to slip a little bit and accidentaly hit the 'send isk' button... While all the puns are almost used, this is in the works Thanks for the suggestions oo Last Wolf, i'll be sure to try and add a few. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Vikarion Caldari Hunters Imperiale	Posted - 2008.10.14 08:49:00 - [350] Can we have one where the enraged customer beats the everliving tar out of Wrangler? At least verbally? I just got over the Chribba Debacle (yes, caps on purpose), and now they pull this. Please? Pretty Please? Come on, you KNOW the devblog deserves it, at least. -------- EVE - The only non-consensual PvP MMORPG* *Note: does not contain non-consensual PvP as of 9/3/2008

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.14 12:49:00 - [351] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 14/10/2008 12:51:38 ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcom-- Customer: Wraaaaaangleeeeer.... Wrangler: What the-- Customer: WraaaNGleeeer! Wrangler: Ok, whoever you are, pod off. Customer: I have coooome for your soooooul! Wrangler: Bit late for that, i work for CCP. Customer: I am the ghooost of--! Wrangler: What? Customer: The ghost of trai-- Wrangler: I heard you! You're not serious. A ghost? Customer: Yeeees! UuUuuu! I am the ghoooost of trai-- Wrangler: No. A-ah. No way. Customer: ... Wrangler: This is too cheap. I'm not doing this bit. Customer: Whaaa'ts wroooong? UuuUuuuu!! Wrangler: Stop that. Customer: Ok, what's the big problem? Wrangler: I have some standards and i'm NOT doing a ghost training bit with an actual ghost. Customer: Oh come on. Wrangler: No! I'm not doing one with a damn ghost in it! Customer: Corporealist. Wrangler: Look, this is CCP Shop! Not some scooby-doo cartoon damnit! Navigator stops fiddling with the doors lock: "Blast! I would've gotten away with it if--" Wrangler: No! That's it! I'm out of this bit! ding ding Customer: Umm...Err...Eeeeeeriiiis!! Eris: ... Customer: UuUu....? Eris: ... Customer: I'll go. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Brigsby5987 Caldari 32nd Amarrian Imperial Navy Regiment.	Posted - 2008.10.14 13:38:00 - [352] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (This was promised earlier...and i'm going to hell...well...some wish ) ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Righto sir, and the issue is? Customer: This nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: Hold up. Nano? Customer: Yes, you're about to-- Wrangler: Right. Continue. Customer: Well, as i was saying, the nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: **ie head. Customer: Excuse me?! Wrangler: You heard me. ie head. Customer: How da-- Wrangler: Stupid says what. Customer: What?! Wrangler: Haha! You're a stupid iehead! Customer: Look, how is this-- Wrangler: Moooooom! *iehead is making funny faces!! Eris: Don't drag me into this...* Customer: Look here! Wrangler: Pull my finger! Customer: No! Wrangler: Waaaaaaaah!! Customer: What are you-- Wrangler throws a teddy at customer. Customer: Hey!! Wrangler: Can a have a wowwipop? Customer: Wowwi...what?! Look i want to com-- Wrangler: ***iehead and a goonie, sitting in a tree, k i s s i n Customer: You're acting like a baby!! Wrangler: See how it feels? Customer: ... Wrangler grins. Customer: Cheap. ding ding* OH MY GOD. EPIC _______________________________________ Sig? where. There's no sig here.
Dmian Gallente The Scope	Posted - 2008.10.14 13:44:00 - [353] \/ Awesome. ---- Eve Alpha - The font of Eve - Get it here
Demitria Fernir Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2008.10.14 13:44:00 - [354] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (This was promised earlier...and i'm going to hell...well...some wish ) ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Righto sir, and the issue is? Customer: This nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: Hold up. Nano? Customer: Yes, you're about to-- Wrangler: Right. Continue. Customer: Well, as i was saying, the nano nerf you're about to-- Wrangler: **ie head. Customer: Excuse me?! Wrangler: You heard me. ie head. Customer: How da-- Wrangler: Stupid says what. Customer: What?! Wrangler: Haha! You're a stupid iehead! Customer: Look, how is this-- Wrangler: Moooooom! *iehead is making funny faces!! Eris: Don't drag me into this...* Customer: Look here! Wrangler: Pull my finger! Customer: No! Wrangler: Waaaaaaaah!! Customer: What are you-- Wrangler throws a teddy at customer. Customer: Hey!! Wrangler: Can a have a wowwipop? Customer: Wowwi...what?! Look i want to com-- Wrangler: ***iehead and a goonie, sitting in a tree, k i s s i n Customer: You're acting like a baby!! Wrangler: See how it feels? Customer: ... Wrangler grins. Customer: Cheap. ding ding* I wish i could copy/paste this every time someone whine about nanonerf on the forums _______________________________________________ 10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101 I will Conquer My Signature Somewhere in the future 10100110010100101010011010100101001100101110101
Batolemaeus Caldari Athanasius Inc.	Posted - 2008.10.14 14:01:00 - [355] Originally by: Sheriff Jones stuff Nail. Head. You know the rest. Thankyouverymuch sir. ---------------------------------------------- Originally by:* CCP Prism X In New Eden, EVE wins you.
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.10.14 16:16:00 - [356] This thread shall not go past page 1! __________________________________________________________ Originally by: Liang Nuren wrong forum isroy i am vjery drunm
Little Matt Caldari New Fnord Industries Black Scope Project	Posted - 2008.10.14 21:38:00 - [357] Bump for awesomeness. Loved the Chribba skit. Heh, ghost training could make for a funny topic. Apt at the moment too.
Taram Caldar Noir. Trinity Nova Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.15 14:49:00 - [358] Thank you, SJ for lightening up another long day :)
Taram Caldar Noir. Trinity Nova Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.15 14:49:00 - [359] Thank you, SJ for lightening up another long day :)
Freyya GeoCorp. Paxton Federation	Posted - 2008.10.15 15:12:00 - [360] I have another suggestion; How about one about that Freyya char and her quest for more E-rep on the field trip she had today? ___________ NOW COLLECTING ISD AND CCP AUTOGRAPHS It'll be worth something someday. -Rauth

Freyya GeoCorp. Paxton Federation	Posted - 2008.10.15 15:12:00 - [361] I have another suggestion; How about one about that Freyya char and her quest for more E-rep on the field trip she had today? ___________ NOW COLLECTING ISD AND CCP AUTOGRAPHS It'll be worth something someday. -Rauth
X3R0N Caldari Boys With Toys	Posted - 2008.10.16 07:42:00 - [362] What is this ?! the thread of epicness on page 3 ?! Hell no :P
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.10.18 08:41:00 - [363] OMG Page 7!! Bump!
SturmTurm Amarr Armored Fist	Posted - 2008.10.20 11:33:00 - [364] Bump - Get the glue guys
Feriluce Caldari Deep Core Mining Inc.	Posted - 2008.10.21 17:18:00 - [365] MOAR LULZ NAO!
Falkrich Swifthand Caldari eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2008.10.23 14:08:00 - [366] Page 5! I demand more CCP shop! If we don't get another one we should stop bumping this thread
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.10.26 17:58:00 - [367] We want more!
Feriluce Caldari Agony Unleashed Agony Empire	Posted - 2008.10.26 18:36:00 - [368] Originally by: Falkrich Swifthand Page 5! I demand more CCP shop! If we don't get another one we should stop bumping this thread More CCP-shop or I will CANCEL ALL MY ACCOUNTS!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.26 18:40:00 - [369] ding ding Explorer: ..hey. Customer: Hey? Explorer: Yeah. Customer: Where's Wrangler? Explorer: Away. Customer: Well...umm...-can i complain? Explorer: Sure. Customer: It's awfully quit here. Explorer rubs nose; Mhm. Customer: You're rather...scaring me. Explorer looks at ball of snot, then at customer; Interesting. Customer: When will Wrangler be back? Explorer stands up sstraight; Later. Customer: Well..i think...i'll just...yeah...i'll go. Explorer: Mhm. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.10.26 18:44:00 - [370] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Explorer: ..hey. Customer: Hey? Explorer: Yeah. Customer: Where's Wrangler? Explorer: Away. Customer: Well...umm...-can i complain? Explorer: Sure. Customer: It's awfully quit here. Explorer rubs nose; Mhm. Customer: You're rather...scaring me. Explorer looks at ball of snot, then at customer; Interesting. Customer: When will Wrangler be back? Explorer stands up sstraight; Later. Customer: Well..i think...i'll just...yeah...i'll go. Explorer: Mhm. ding ding /Internet Hug __________________________________________________________ Originally by: Liang Nuren wrong forum isroy i am vjery drunm

Feriluce Caldari Agony Unleashed Agony Empire	Posted - 2008.10.26 19:00:00 - [371] I should kindnap SJ, lock him up in my basement and only feed him when he comes out with more CCP shop. Cant have this shortage of GD humor!
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr The Night Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.27 05:11:00 - [372] Originally by: Feriluce I should kindnap SJ, lock him up in my basement and only feed him when he comes out with more CCP shop. Cant have this shortage of GD humor! Do it! I'll provide the occasional food and booze
IR Scoutar Caldari State War Academy	Posted - 2008.10.27 05:30:00 - [373] moar
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins	Posted - 2008.10.27 07:08:00 - [374] Originally by: Cay Qel'Droma Originally by: Feriluce I should kindnap SJ, lock him up in my basement and only feed him when he comes out with more CCP shop. Cant have this shortage of GD humor! Do it! I'll provide the occasional food and booze occasional he he SJ get ta work chop chop your public awaits Wonder where the glue and ducttape is? oooo that's right the minni's gotta keep their ships together bummer man. CCP plz spam glue and ducttape on the next patch. Thank You
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.10.27 14:26:00 - [375] (Food, booze and occasional wenches and i'll work for anyone anywhere ) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How ca i help you? Customer: I wish to make a complaint. Wrangler: Very well sir, what about? Customer: This shop! Wrangler: Ber your pardon? Customer: It's been quiet, for a very long time i might add. Wrangler: It's the summer? People on holiday? Customer: It's the middle of october! Wrangler: October fest? Customer: Well...were you at octoberfest? Wrangler: Could have. Customer: So no? Wrangler: No sir. No. Customer: Right, so it's not the bloody holiday season. And furthermore-- Wrangler: There's more? Customer: FURTHER more, this isn't much of a shop! Wrangler: Beg. Your. Pardon?! Customer: You don't sell anything here. Wrangler: We DO sell, we do. Customer: Liiiiike what? Wrangler: Well...well...looks around...dust. Customer: Dust? Wrangler: Yes. Customer: You're rying to tell me, that this whole storefront is built, maintained, operated and paid for to sell dust? Wrangler: Yes sir, have a sample. Customer: I don't want any dust! Wrangler: Finest in azeroth! Customer: WHAT?! Wrangler: Err...new eden! Finest in new eden. Fresh from the shuttles of lost pilots. Customer: ...you're being increasingly silly. Wrangler: It's kind of my job. Customer: Well, to please an audience member, i'll now have to shoot you. Wrangler: Very well. Customer pulls out a gun. Customer: Good day. Wrangler: Good day sir. psst Wrangler: ... Customer: ... Wrangler: That's a waterpistol. Customer: Technicalities. Good day! ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
stadshage Caldari Monkey Universe Corporation Monkey Religion	Posted - 2008.10.27 14:35:00 - [376] keep em comming :d nice work
TimBo Prodical Gallente Technical Support Inc.	Posted - 2008.10.30 14:45:00 - [377] This really rulezz. Bump
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence A.X.I.S	Posted - 2008.10.30 18:15:00 - [378] Free bump for SJ. Keep up the great work, and Needz Moar!! ---- --- --- My views don't represent those of my corporation or alliance.
Gillman Minmatar Decorum Inc Tygris Alliance	Posted - 2008.10.31 14:31:00 - [379] Sticky ???? Wrangler: Stickys are for important things So this isnt important then ? Wrangler : technically no! so if we decided to start drop about 10k shuttles in every system we come into if it does not get stikied would you the consider SJ marvelous addition to the eve universe to be important ? Wrangler: ... Exacly :D
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.10.31 15:30:00 - [380] continuing Gilmans... PrismX runs after Wrangler waving stick PrismX:So it's YOUR fault their crashing the database contantaly? Wrangler:What do you mean? PrismX:They wanted a thread sticky'ed that would do no harm and threatened to drop thousands of shuttles to prove it! Wrangler gets caught by PrismX and is forced to manually clean out the database while apologizing on the forums Wrangler(in a meek voice):Please forgive me ---- --- --- My views don't represent those of my corporation or alliance.

Hjerre Minmatar Valheru Empire Science and Production Agency	Posted - 2008.11.02 02:15:00 - [381] Bumpedebump
Komen Gallente Trinity Nova Wildly Inappropriate.	Posted - 2008.11.02 05:44:00 - [382] Bumpzor. Merry ****ing Christmas.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.03 00:37:00 - [383] Sheriff I'd like to request on where a would be ganker/griefer got the tables turned by a "carebear". And this can't leave the first page, so sayth me. ---- --- --- My views don't represent those of my corporation or alliance.
Jack Light Dark Centauri	Posted - 2008.11.03 03:50:00 - [384] LOL Love this post! Keep it up SJ
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.03 05:55:00 - [385] I've got a few things cooking up, but do remember that excessive bumpage might lead to locking of thread. We wouldn't want that would we? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Dregek Minmatar Pilots Of Honour Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.11.03 15:39:00 - [386] Bumpage
Vak'ran	Posted - 2008.11.03 19:00:00 - [387] Originally by: Sheriff Jones I've got a few things cooking up, but do remember that excessive bumpage might lead to locking of thread. We wouldn't want that would we? No we wouldn't. However, I have just noticed I have not yet voiced my appreciation of returning chronicles of happenings at the ccp shop. Doing so now. You make some of my work hours happy Jones, appreciation is in order. ----- Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.04 10:35:00 - [388] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You in charge of this thing you call an "expansion"?! Wrangler: I could be sir. Customer: What on earth do you call this thing as it sure as hell ain't an expansion! Wrangler: We call it quantum rising, dun du dun. Customer: I mean...it's not an expansion! It's a carebear park add-on! Wrangler: No no, it's quantum rising...dun du dun. Customer: Not the point damnit!! And isn't it quantum rise anyway? Wrangler: No no, there's a quan-tum riiising thrusts Customer: Err... Wrangler: Mr quantum riiisiiiing thrust thrust Customer: Ah! Stop that! Wrangler: It is. Customer: Look, this add-on only adds to some carebear activities and i won't take it! Wrangler: Oooh you'll take it... Customer: What?! Wrangler: You'll take it and love it! thrust Customer: You've gone insane! Wrangler: And you love it! Customer: I most certainly don't! Wrangler: Oh... Customer: Now then-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Customer: Now-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: That's it! ding ding Wrangler: Mr Quantum rising....whistles My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Chimii Lecto Gallente	Posted - 2008.11.04 10:43:00 - [389] Love it =) ---------- /Pretty posting.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.04 10:54:00 - [390] (Just out of the blue...don't know where this goes but...) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Maybe you can help me? Wrangler: Umm...cetrainly mam? Customer: Sir! Wrangler: Sorry, sir, the...nevermind. What's the problem? Customer: The rats, at belts, they don't shoot at me. Wrangler: That's a problem? Customer: Well, not as such, but all they do is laugh when i scream my battlecry at them. Wrangler: Maybe it's...you know. Customer: What? Wrangler: Your...color? Customer: My...what? Wrangler: Nevermind. So, laughing rats eh? Customer: yes! Everytime i scream my vicious battlecry at them, they just fall over and laugh and stop fighting. It's...annoying. Wrangler: Umm. Yeah. Hey, just a lil question, is your ship violet? Customer: Yes, how did you know?! Wrangler: Lucky guess. Now, what's this battlecry then? Customer: By the power of greysk-- Wrangler: Hold up! Customer: Hmm? Wrangler: I've heard enough. I think i know what's wrong. Customer: Really?! Cool. Wrangler: Let me just...tweak tweak a bit later Wrangler: There, that should do it. Customer: What did you do? Wrangler: Just a misplaced..err...cog. Customer: Oh, and that does it? Wrangler: Yup, and stop screaming what you...you know...scream. Just, kill. Customer: Alright! Thanks! ding ding Wrangler: Gees... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Vak'ran	Posted - 2008.11.04 12:39:00 - [391] One would think they get old at some point, but no... they dont :D Nice one Jones, another day saved. ----- Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums.
Chimii Lecto Gallente	Posted - 2008.11.04 13:01:00 - [392] Wrangler stole mah colorz =( ---------- /Pretty posting.
Nofonno Amarr Exploratio et Industria Morispatia	Posted - 2008.11.04 16:39:00 - [393] Sheriff Jones, your creativity should be applauded. So, standing ovation, from me Keep those coming, they're gems, all of them. Especially liked the CONCORD one. --- A scientist must be an optimist at heart - to have the strength to rally against a chorus of voices saying "it cannot be done".
Khraunus Amarr Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service	Posted - 2008.11.04 20:38:00 - [394] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You in charge of this thing you call an "expansion"?! Wrangler: I could be sir. Customer: What on earth do you call this thing as it sure as hell ain't an expansion! Wrangler: We call it quantum rising, dun du dun. Customer: I mean...it's not an expansion! It's a carebear park add-on! Wrangler: No no, it's quantum rising...dun du dun. Customer: Not the point damnit!! And isn't it quantum rise anyway? Wrangler: No no, there's a quan-tum riiising thrusts Customer: Err... Wrangler: Mr quantum riiisiiiing thrust thrust Customer: Ah! Stop that! Wrangler: It is. Customer: Look, this add-on only adds to some carebear activities and i won't take it! Wrangler: Oooh you'll take it... Customer: What?! Wrangler: You'll take it and love it! thrust Customer: You've gone insane! Wrangler: And you love it! Customer: I most certainly don't! Wrangler: Oh... Customer: Now then-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Customer: Now-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: That's it! ding ding Wrangler: Mr Quantum rising....whistles I lol'd. HARD.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.07 03:25:00 - [395] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (Just out of the blue...don't know where this goes but...) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Maybe you can help me? Wrangler: Umm...cetrainly mam? Customer: Sir! Wrangler: Sorry, sir, the...nevermind. What's the problem? Customer: The rats, at belts, they don't shoot at me. Wrangler: That's a problem? Customer: Well, not as such, but all they do is laugh when i scream my battlecry at them. Wrangler: Maybe it's...you know. Customer: What? Wrangler: Your...color? Customer: My...what? Wrangler: Nevermind. So, laughing rats eh? Customer: yes! Everytime i scream my vicious battlecry at them, they just fall over and laugh and stop fighting. It's...annoying. Wrangler: Umm. Yeah. Hey, just a lil question, is your ship violet? Customer: Yes, how did you know?! Wrangler: Lucky guess. Now, what's this battlecry then? Customer: By the power of greysk-- Wrangler: Hold up! Customer: Hmm? Wrangler: I've heard enough. I think i know what's wrong. Customer: Really?! Cool. Wrangler: Let me just...tweak tweak a bit later Wrangler: There, that should do it. Customer: What did you do? Wrangler: Just a misplaced..err...cog. Customer: Oh, and that does it? Wrangler: Yup, and stop screaming what you...you know...scream. Just, kill. Customer: Alright! Thanks! ding ding Wrangler: Gees... Another great one Sheriff. Perhaps we can get one with a would-be griefer/ganker getting ganked by a "carebear"? ---- --- --- My views don't represent those of my corporation or alliance.
Aralon Esgaretus	Posted - 2008.11.07 09:01:00 - [396] Originally by: Khraunus Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You in charge of this thing you call an "expansion"?! Wrangler: I could be sir. Customer: What on earth do you call this thing as it sure as hell ain't an expansion! Wrangler: We call it quantum rising, dun du dun. Customer: I mean...it's not an expansion! It's a carebear park add-on! Wrangler: No no, it's quantum rising...dun du dun. Customer: Not the point damnit!! And isn't it quantum rise anyway? Wrangler: No no, there's a quan-tum riiising thrusts Customer: Err... Wrangler: Mr quantum riiisiiiing thrust thrust Customer: Ah! Stop that! Wrangler: It is. Customer: Look, this add-on only adds to some carebear activities and i won't take it! Wrangler: Oooh you'll take it... Customer: What?! Wrangler: You'll take it and love it! thrust Customer: You've gone insane! Wrangler: And you love it! Customer: I most certainly don't! Wrangler: Oh... Customer: Now then-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Customer: Now-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: That's it! ding ding Wrangler: Mr Quantum rising....whistles I lol'd. HARD. I see what you did there!!! Mr. A.
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins	Posted - 2008.11.07 09:52:00 - [397] Originally by: Khraunus Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You in charge of this thing you call an "expansion"?! Wrangler: I could be sir. Customer: What on earth do you call this thing as it sure as hell ain't an expansion! Wrangler: We call it quantum rising, dun du dun. Customer: I mean...it's not an expansion! It's a carebear park add-on! Wrangler: No no, it's quantum rising...dun du dun. Customer: Not the point damnit!! And isn't it quantum rise anyway? Wrangler: No no, there's a quan-tum riiising thrusts Customer: Err... Wrangler: Mr quantum riiisiiiing thrust thrust Customer: Ah! Stop that! Wrangler: It is. Customer: Look, this add-on only adds to some carebear activities and i won't take it! Wrangler: Oooh you'll take it... Customer: What?! Wrangler: You'll take it and love it! thrust Customer: You've gone insane! Wrangler: And you love it! Customer: I most certainly don't! Wrangler: Oh... Customer: Now then-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Customer: Now-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: That's it! ding ding Wrangler: Mr Quantum rising....whistles I lol'd. HARD. Thrust giggity o!
Slash Harnet Minmatar Fire Mandrill	Posted - 2008.11.08 07:29:00 - [398] Bump for a thread made of pure win.
General Longkill The Subtle Knife Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.11.08 07:59:00 - [399] Truly an EPIC thread \o/ Well done m8 :) LOL
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.10 07:43:00 - [400] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 10/11/2008 07:43:17 (A small break v2.1) bang bang bang HeadTroll: Order order!! bangs his hammer more I now declare this official troll meeting in order! Troll 3: ... HT: Where is everybody? T3 shrugs. HT: They're SO busy flaming and bating that they can't be bothered to attend our meeting?! T3: Guess so. HT: ...didn't i shoot you before? T3: Most likely. HT: Fine. So, anyone have any ideas on this weeks attack on the forums? T3: The nano? HT: How about something a bit more recent, like for example, the quantum rise? T3: I think it's lovely actually. HT: ... T3: You're going to shoot me ain't you? HT shoots Troll 3 in the face with a gun. Ofcourse. HT sighs; "I hate--" checks calender "--Mondays...." My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.10 08:17:00 - [401] (reserved, wait for it ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.11.10 08:18:00 - [402] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (reserved, wait for it ) Crap.. and I was just about to go to bed Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.11.10 09:13:00 - [403] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: Look i'm really sorry, here, have some T2 BPOs. Customer: Up yours! I'm quitting...gees...who does that?! Wrangler: I got a bit carried away, i'm REALLY sorry. Good one. :)
Thenoran Caldari Hegemony Enterprises E L I T E Alliance	Posted - 2008.11.10 11:10:00 - [404] Edited by: Thenoran on 10/11/2008 11:10:36 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler grabs his keyboard and points it at the Customer. Fling it at him! Incoming Keyboard Missile! ------------------------ Ship Yield Calc Improve Mining
Dregek Minmatar Pilots Of Honour Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.11.10 21:49:00 - [405] bump for the masses
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.11.10 21:55:00 - [406] Edited by: Last Wolf on 10/11/2008 21:55:03 Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'm here to tell you that the community won't take the quantum rise easily! This shop will burn! All your noobs will be whined at and your stuff burned by flames! You and your CEO of so called "game company" will never work again! Wrangler: I am not at liberty to speak about the quantum rise. You should mail-- Customer: Choose your next words carefully, Wrangler. They may be your last at CCP. Wrangler whispers to himself; "Whines and flames"? Wrangler grabs his keyboard and points it at the Customer. Customer: Madman! You're a madman! Wrangler: Whines and flames? You'll find plenty of both at WoW. Customer: No dev, CCP or Blizzard, no dev threatens a customer! Wrangler: You bring the DVDs and boxes of played MMOs to my store. You insult my CEO. You threaten my people with whines and flames! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Troll. Perhaps you should have done the same! Customer: This is blasphemy! This is madness! Wrangler: Madness...? This. Is. CCP!! Wrangler kicks the customer Customer: Owwww....that hurt. Wrangler: You ok? Customer: No you jerk! You don't just go around kicking people! Wrangler: Look i'm really sorry, here, have some T2 BPOs. Customer: Up yours! I'm quitting...gees...who does that?! Wrangler: I got a bit carried away, i'm REALLY sorry. Customer: You're a meanie. A mean mean man. ding ding ROFL!!! I can't deside which one made me laugh harder, the pocket rocket or this one... Gahhh! Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr The Night Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.11.12 07:01:00 - [407] Friendly bump for the pure lolsomeness _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
Camino Archer	Posted - 2008.11.12 07:48:00 - [408] OMG!!!!11 I pee'd my pantsThis Is Some Blinking Hilarious Stuff! Someone Give this Man(Woman),..(Man-Woman)? A Job and Tons Of Cash!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.12 09:18:00 - [409] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 12/11/2008 09:19:38 Originally by: Camino Archer OMG!!!!11 I pee'd my pantsThis Is Some Blinking Hilarious Stuff! Someone Give this Man(Woman),..(Man-Woman)? A Job and Tons Of Cash! This man-woman-man would gladly take a job from CCP, as i'm well equipped for cold harsh elements and drinks concerning beer and vodka. And scotch. And alcohol. And non-alcoholic drinks that are cut with alcohol. And booze. Actually i think i'm more equipped for the weather and alcohol then the icelandics Tons of cash is accepted too, ISK too, and teddybears, and thongs...and..umm...women. If you have any. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.12 10:49:00 - [410] (Rip off time!) in a belt somewhere in caldari space Bert sighs. Ernie: What is it Bert? Bert: Well Ernie here we are, shooting rats at belts, and these missiles just don't seem to do the trick! Where's all the damage!? Ernie: It's there, you just have to know how. Bert: Know how? I press a button and shoot missiles, there's nothing much to it! Ernie: But you're not doing it right. Bert: Ok, you take this raven and do it right then. Ernie: Oh i don't need a raven, i just call it. Bert: Call it? You're gonna call damage? Ernie: Yeah, i'm gonna call damage. Bert laughs; Ok, go ahead laughs more call for damage. Ernie: It's gotta be loud though, 'cause there's no air in space and sound doesn't travel well. Bert: Ok Ernie, go ahead. Ernie clears his throat; Ahem... HEEEEERE PEW PEW PEW!!! rat ship explodes Bert: Wow!! Ernie: Told you. Bert: That's amazing! Ernie: I think i'll call a bit more...HEEEEERE PEW PEW PEW!!! rat ship explodes Bert WHOA! Ernie: Maybe a few more. HEEEEERE PEW PEW PEW!!! rat ship explodes Ernie: That's one. rat ship explodes Ernie: That's two. two rat ships explode Ernie: Three and four! Bert: I wanna try! Ernie: Go ahead, but you have to yell really loud. Bert: Ok. Here pew pew pew. Ernie: That's not loud enough Bert. Bert: Ah, ahem...Heeeere PEW PEW PEW! nothing Bert: It's not working! Ernie: You have to be louder Bert. Bert sighs; Fine. HEEEERE PEW PEW PEW!!! Ernie: Nope. Bert: WELL HOW LOUD DO I HAVE TO BE!!?* Ernie: That's good, just like that! Bert: Ok! HEEEEERE PEW PEW PEW!!!! CONCORD blow Berts ship up Ernie: Maybe it was too loud. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Lord Haur Amarr Imperial Academy	Posted - 2008.11.12 10:58:00 - [411] Edited by: Lord Haur on 12/11/2008 11:00:03 heh. HEEEEEEERE PEWPEWPEW!! /me watches to see if any ships blow up also ernie is double agent working for rats, convincing them to self-destruct dons tin-foil hat --- Sig Starts Here --- Lord Haur - Imperial Academy Logistical Support
Cribba Sebiestor	Posted - 2008.11.12 12:17:00 - [412] bump
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.12 20:18:00 - [413] Another good one Sheriff, when's the next due? ---- --- --- My views don't represent those of my corporation or alliance.
Terraform Gallente Recreation Of The World	Posted - 2008.11.12 22:36:00 - [414] Oh dear, i come back from a 3 month break from eve and I bump straight into this thread. Atleast there's still hope out there! More please.
dabag	Posted - 2008.11.16 04:20:00 - [415] page 15??? how did this get that far down the line, more plz sheriff
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.19 12:00:00 - [416] (Introducing...Wrangler And Jones Most Excellent Adventure) It was a cold night at the CCP Shop, as cold as night are in indoor spaces, and Wrangler was working on his computer as always. Working is a term used loosely here, while "playing something" would be more apt. The door opened with the familiar ding ding. Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Sheriff Jones runs to wrangler wearing a silver overcoat and weird sunglasses; "You have to come with me!" Wrangler: Where? SJ: To the future! Wrangler: I'm busy. SJ: But it's really really important. Wrangler: What, is it my children? SJ: No...it's EVE. Wrangler: ...let's go. Wrangler and Jones run out into the storm. Wrangler: This is your time machine? SJ: What? Wrangler: A 1971 Ford Pinto? SJ: It was on sale! Now come on! Wrangler: Hold on, i don't want this thing stalling mid-time-flight and get us stuck halfway between good part of Battlefield Earth and good part of Britney Spears career. SJ: ...the difference? Wrangler: Good point. Wrangler and Jones hop into the "car" and drive off into the dark, cold, stormy...you know...cool night. Wrangler: So how far we going? SJ: Hold on to your seat... Wrangler: Or what's left of it. SJ: ...'cause we're going all the way to...2009. Wrangler: What? SJ: 2009, october 13th, release of WiS, or as it's known from there on...Wee-Day. Wrangler: Oh you've got to beAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! The pinto charges up to a whpping 8.8 miles an hour and as the bleeps and blops dissapate, the car enters a warp-tunnel. Decimating half of the street. And spooking a really nervous cat. (to be continued)
X3R0N Caldari Boys With Toys	Posted - 2008.11.19 12:55:00 - [417] Genious Jones Reading these forums is kinda like watching a car crash is super slo-mo. Fascinating at first, but rapidly becoming appalling... yet you can't quite tear yourself away!
Liam Fremen Insurgent New Eden Tribe Systematic-Chaos	Posted - 2008.11.19 13:23:00 - [418] I interviewed Wrangler in his shop: http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=mDu5R0ROMF4 -- "may you rest in peace now, brave souls of Hueromont. . . Curse you, Caldari . . . may I take as many of you with me that I can!" Admiral Noir, Gallente Federation
D4RK 0NE testicular Fortitude Pirate Coalition	Posted - 2008.11.19 13:38:00 - [419] AAARRRGGHHHH TEH SUSPENSE!!!! hurry up jones! im dying out here
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.19 13:52:00 - [420] /me twitches Hurry up before the suspense gives me a nervous breakdown :p

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.19 13:57:00 - [421] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 19/11/2008 14:00:46 (The story continues) crack whizzle kaplowie and other assorted sounds The Pinto crashes through a few trashcans and boxes, spooks a well amazed cat who had a traumatic experience almost a year back and finally stops covered in smoke in the dark alley. Wrangler and Jones step out of the car. Wrangler: Where are we? SJ: 2009, october 13th...gets dramatic Wee-Day. Wrangler: What the hell is this Wee day?! SJ: The day Walking in Stations goes online and declares war on mankind. Wrangler: Dude, It's just an expansion... SJ: Just an expansion?! RIght...come here. Wrangler and Jones walk out of the alleyway to times square new york. Wrangler: We're in new york?! SJ: It's a time and space Pinto. Wrangler: So what did you want to show me? Jones points up at thousands and thousands of billboards declaring the new age of internet reality, Walking in Stations, everywhere. Models showing the EVE box against their bosom, high tech visuals blasting through screens almost as high as the buildings. Wrangler: Wow. SJ: I wish, we would've seen WoW advertisement get this big. This is EVE. Wrangler: Our marketing department did this? SJ: Yes. Wrangler: CCP marketing department? SJ: Yes. Wrangler: This IS unbelieavable. SJ: I know. Look, it's starting... A huge clock ticks down and as it reaches the final 10 seconds, a huge Templar begins ot ascend on a flagpole ontop one of the buildings. Huge roars from people all over count down; 10...9...8....7... SJ: We have to go. Wrangler: This is cool. 6...5... SJ: We REALLY need to go!! Jones grabs Wranglers arm and drags him back to the car. 4...3... Wrangler: Come on! We could've watched that first. SJ: New York is one of the first places WiS hit hard....now let's see...10th of May, 2011... 2...1... Wrangler: What's that? SJ: Hold on! The Pinto drives down the alleyway as a shockwave follows them. As the pinto reaches 8.8 miles per hour, it enters the warptunnel just before a wall. The cat holds on to the frontbumper of the car. Very displeased. (TBC)
BiggestT Caldari Space Oddysey Pupule 'Ohana	Posted - 2008.11.19 14:03:00 - [422] Edited by: BiggestT on 19/11/2008 14:03:18 Awesome story telling ability, i was actually hooked in when the countdown started! :D Moar! :)
D4RK 0NE testicular Fortitude Pirate Coalition	Posted - 2008.11.19 14:07:00 - [423] \o/ but damn u jones-moar suspense!?! im going nutters here
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.19 14:49:00 - [424] That'll be my 22nd birthday :). Keep the story coming Sheriff
AlienHand	Posted - 2008.11.19 15:00:00 - [425] Gimme moar!! awesome story Jones :) EVE music by me : AlienHand.dk - now with mailling list
Jana Clant New Dawn Corp New Eden Research	Posted - 2008.11.19 15:38:00 - [426] Moar! Those cliffhangers will be the death of me!
Doomed Predator Caldari Provisions	Posted - 2008.11.19 17:58:00 - [427] Damn you Jones,damn your awsome storytelling abilities. The 'Fendahlian Collective' strikes again
Katabrok First Caldari Star Mandate	Posted - 2008.11.19 23:00:00 - [428] Oh my, don't let us hanging!!! Kata Uma vez flamengo, sempre flamengo.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.20 11:48:00 - [429] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 20/11/2008 11:49:23 10th of May, 2011, as story would suggest. crack whizzywhizzy bang shepowwhoopdereitiskablowie! The pinto skids and crashes into a crude metal fence, takes a dip to the worse and stumbles down a slight fall like an old man in a skating ring. Military experts would call it a "crash". Our two entrepenours climb out of the upside down Pinto. Wrangler: Nice parking genious. SJ: It's a pinto! What do you expect? Hilton hotel couch greeting us with flowers and marzipan? Wrangler: No, it'...whoa. Where are we? SJ: According to this wrist thingy i just pulled out of my arse to save consistency, we're in paris, 2011, may, near eiffel tower. Wrangler: Paris? But it's all, messed up. The tower is crooked, most of the earth is charred, there's less french people around granted but, damn. SJ: The headquarters of the human resistance. Wrangler: Human resistance?! SJ: Against the machines. Look, it's all very simple, now come on. Wrangler: SIMPLE?! Wrangler and Jones run into an alleyway, while the cat stays by the tipsyturny car and wonders about a huge flying thing in the sky, shining bright burning lights all over the place. SJ: Get in. Wrangler: No! SJ: Get. In. Wrangler: It's a sewer! SJ: It's not a sewer, it's a hatch. Wrangler: Street. Manhole cover. It's a freakin' sewer! Jones kicks Wrangler into the manhole and follows him. Wrangler: Ngh...wh...where am i? Navigator: Hello Wrangler, and welcome to the Nebudak...nebuddikak...Nebhupdi...ERIS! Eris: Just call it the Nebby. Navigator: Welcome...gets serious To the Nebby. Wrangler: What the HELL is going on?! SJ: I said already, it's very simple. Navigator: Well said. Eris: Mhm. Wrangler: He didn't say anything! Wrangler grabs a hold as the Nebhukada..Nebby starts to move in the Paris Underground. SJ: We must get to the portal. Navigator: Got'cha, Portal it is. On top the Nebby, one of the remaining assault cruisers in the human resistance, A very perplexed cat was having a real bad headache. (to be...you know)
X3R0N Caldari Boys With Toys	Posted - 2008.11.20 11:53:00 - [430] Jones you're epic ! but you're also killing me with the suspense

Rair Fryar Minmatar	Posted - 2008.11.20 19:43:00 - [431] Moar Khat!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.20 22:41:00 - [432] (INTERLUDE!) Original here B.O.B. Outkast Smartbombs Over Jita 1, 2.. 1, 2, 3; yeah! Arma-ged-it-on, Jita-bound, Thunder pounds when I warp around (Woo!) Like a million noobs with civilian railguns You can't stop the pain. Who want some? Don't come with ra-ven. I'll be there, but you won't leave there Smart bombing is the game. Wrangler man tellin' us that i'm insane. So now you sittin' in a pop-pod, noob an' vet. In a corpse suit, holding on ya head. Curse insults over chat and the net. But this'll be the year that you won't forget. Two-oh-oh-Nine! And brutha everything goes, blow whoever you be. Long overdue consequences, no matter how big the defenses. Weapons hot, I'm boomin' ill. Anythign gets hit, a touch of hell. HOT! Get a life, or a gtc to sell. Or grab your char and just go sell, flame ya in the EVE-mail. "Just popped your pod with mah hammer!", then fly off-grid in mah bombah. Black Armageddon and a stack of boosters, stack of bombs, with some answers. Cure for lagging, cure for game. Make a playa' wanna stay out for days. Get back on, things are wrong, Sitting in Jita but he's all alone. Before he left, Jita on, now out of power. Thousands of thousands corpse so sour. Lock on, 'geddon, let a sec to breath, and here i come with some more! Ahhhhh! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! (cont...)
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.20 22:42:00 - [433] F1, F2, 3, bombs on. Did you ever think a carebear rock this zone? Like that there miner and will still get hit. **** you off every time we meet. Ain't no track beam, i'ma fiend, not discreet. Smartbombs bumpin' up and down the fleet. Fight back, quick attack, 'bout five dev deep. Seventy-five ef-cee's tryin' to get me beat. Jita stumped, i'm drunk, show the lub. Should have brought a titan, but you brought the 'CORD. Should have stayed back, but you brought your chums. 'Spose to meet your friend, real life for lunch. No L to-the U to-the B for you. Got your ship on the way to a big badaboom. Got a little bitty cruiser, tech two, now gone. Never turn my tail and run from them. Should have leave it (leave it) quit it (quit it) lag (lag) out (out) Now you you messed up, you pod go pop. Had a business for yourself, boy, Jitas closed. I know it's a crime but i just LOL. SB number four, since i'm on a roll. Freeze up, blow up, stop, CONCORD. Just ram it, scram it, and blow some more. A movin' on an' on, commin' straight for the Jita. Close all your orders, load your stuff in a hoarder, Takin' Jita out 'cause a whippins in order. I'm just a little curious trading exploder. Give a lil more hell, then I hit the border. You keep tryin' till i get below point five. I'm a smartbombin' fiend tryin' to stay alive. When you come to Jita now well you better just hide, 'cause the Jones gonna take a wild ride! Hah! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! Don't bring the ship out, unless you plan to bang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah! Ha ha yeah! Don't even bang 'cause the concord brings their thang! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Uhh-huh! Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah. Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah. Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah. Smartbombs over Jitaaah! Yeah. C-C-P, She-riff! Jo-jo-jones! To the T-O-P! Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. Bob warps in. Lag Out. (1, 2.. 1, 2, 3, 4) (Get some) I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million. I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million. I'm, sell-ing, Raven for only 3 million. (fade out)
Jared D'Uroth	Posted - 2008.11.21 00:32:00 - [434] Nice one. I sorta sang along at the end.
PKlavins Caldari The New Era HUZZAH FEDERATION	Posted - 2008.11.21 05:01:00 - [435] This thread... MUST... be stickied... it is the shining light of the dark and grim mire that is General Discussion... a beacon of hope shining through the dark and twisted forest of whines and 'omg-my-raven-got-nerfed's... THIS THREAD CAN SAVE LIVES! STICKY IT!!!!!! In all seriousness, sticky it. The new 7.5km web = web + scram = "Wamble".
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins	Posted - 2008.11.21 05:44:00 - [436] Edited by: Taradis on 21/11/2008 05:45:26 a whole whopping 8.8 miles per hour gotta love the pintos...... /me starts pacing back and forth and drinking yarrrrrrr juice waiting for the next installment of back to EvE. Edit: Oh there was a page 15 guess i need another cup of coffee derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Taradis Amarr The Imperial Assassins	Posted - 2008.11.21 05:52:00 - [437] love the rap its da bomb
Slash Harnet Minmatar Fire Mandrill	Posted - 2008.11.21 07:26:00 - [438] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (Introducing...Wrangler And Jones Most Excellent Adventure) SJ: 2009, october 13th, release of WiS, or as it's known from there on...Wee-Day. I always knew my birthday would be the beginning of the end.
Cyber Blue Gallente Cyber Blue Consulting	Posted - 2008.11.21 08:34:00 - [439] And then along came Jones Tall thin Jones Slow-walkin' Jones Slow-talkin' Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones End of line...
Vaugue	Posted - 2008.11.21 11:07:00 - [440] a legendary thread worthy of nothing less than page 1 To the top !

Leakim jones Minmatar Brutor tribe	Posted - 2008.11.21 15:56:00 - [441] Lol this is the highlight of my day!!!
Principe Amarr	Posted - 2008.11.22 11:54:00 - [442] Buuump. what an awesome thread. ---------------------------------------------- Reclaiming through the use of superior Khanid technology ------------------------
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.22 15:11:00 - [443] Give us Moar!!!!!!!!! ---- --- --- Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :)
brethen crowne Minmatar Eve University Ivy League	Posted - 2008.11.22 18:43:00 - [444] These are awesome and someone coughWranglercough should sticky it just for it contribution to the community
Khraunus Amarr Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service	Posted - 2008.11.22 20:56:00 - [445] Agreed, this thread MUST be stickied! Most importantly, how are you supposed to tell whether this is part of my post or my signature?
royal killer Amarr Shadows Of The Federation	Posted - 2008.11.22 23:50:00 - [446] damn I lol'd so hard over the rap song, it just keeps getting better and better Sheriff Jones Request for a lyric for this song: Song -------------------- ding ding! Wrangler: Hello and w ding ding! Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners.
Tratis Sykes Gallente Heavy Industry Technology and Logistics	Posted - 2008.11.24 15:33:00 - [447] Please continue the story, Sheriff. It's phunney :) And this thread seriously needs a sticky nodes Sir! Sir! .. We are completly surrounded!! - Excelent! Then we can attack in every direction!
Niraco79 Gallente Black Nova Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2008.11.24 15:35:00 - [448] go back to first page....
Peter Totolos Gemeinschaft interstellarer Soeldner	Posted - 2008.11.24 18:48:00 - [449] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ... SJ: I said already, it's very simple. ... i knew it was simple! cool stuff, SJ!
Glengrant TOHA Heavy Industries	Posted - 2008.11.25 09:13:00 - [450] Page 3? Unacceptable! --- Save the forum: Think before you post. ISK BUYER = LOOSER EVE TV- Bring it back!

EnslaverOfMinmatar Yarsk Hunters DeaDSpace Coalition	Posted - 2008.11.25 11:46:00 - [451] loooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllll /catches breath looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllll uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɹnʇɐuƃıs ʎɯ ƃuıpɐǝɹ ǝɹɐ noʎ
LordSwift INTERSTELLAR ENTERPRISE StarFleet Federation	Posted - 2008.11.25 12:29:00 - [452] Love the whole thing. keep up the hard work. hehe
Stric Dusko	Posted - 2008.11.26 09:37:00 - [453] "Your post strikes thread for perfect bumpage."
LunaticWithCandy Caldari Gates of Valhalla	Posted - 2008.11.27 09:44:00 - [454] More more more!!! --------------------- Get out of my dreams and into my van.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.11.27 09:55:00 - [455] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 27/11/2008 09:55:51 (Meanwhile at the CCP Shop(Yes it's a filler.(Yes i know!))) ding ding Customer: Umm...hello? ????: Hello... Customer: Who who...who are you? ????: U uu, u uuu. Customer: What? ????: Who. Customer: Huh?! ???? sighs; "Nevermind." Customer: Look, is Wrangler here? ????: Does he look to be present at this very time? Customer: Umm. No. ????: Then i do believe you have your answer. Customer: Well..umm...can you help me? ????: Regarding? Customer: EVE ofcourse. ????: No. Customer: Then why are you here?! ????: I go where i must and where i am needed. Customer: Look this dark cloak and broody WoW crap doesn't scare me...now show me someone who can help. ????: No. Customer: Well...to hell with you then! ???? pokes customer. Customer dies. ????: You first. ???? sits down and waits. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
frsd Caldari Red Dwarf Mining Corporation space weaponry and trade	Posted - 2008.11.27 10:23:00 - [456] nice
Zaptwig	Posted - 2008.11.27 11:06:00 - [457] SECOND AFTER A JONES
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.11.28 04:14:00 - [458] Third after a Jones. ---- --- --- Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :)
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr The Night Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.11.28 06:09:00 - [459] Originally by: Zaptwig SECOND AFTER A JONES Originally by: Saju Somtaaw Third after a Jones. Who the hell is Jones? lmao @ the last one, man! _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
brethen crowne Minmatar Eve University Ivy League	Posted - 2008.11.29 22:05:00 - [460]

Beardponderer You're Doing It Wrong	Posted - 2008.11.30 23:31:00 - [461] Edited by: Beardponderer on 30/11/2008 23:30:54 Keep 'em coming you big gay, pink-outfit-wearing sheriff.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.01 07:49:00 - [462] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 01/12/2008 07:52:39 Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 01/12/2008 07:49:22 (Somewhere in the paris underground) Meow? scratch scratch scratch Meow... (to be continued) (ok fine! ) The Nebby rambled, bouldered or otherwise slumbered through the undergrounds of Paris, which to Wranglers opinion were; Wrangler: ...too fcking large for reality. SJ: Look, do you really need me to explain you everything that's going on? Wrangler: I don't really mind, but i think the audi-- Eris: Shh! Navigator: Dude! Wrangler: ...what? SJ: Immersion man, immersion. Gees. Wrangler: Yes. I would be most interested in hearing of the story leading to this point of particular-- SJ: No need for sarcasm. Wrangler: This isn't sarcasm, i'm so very very interested. Please oh plese, tell me. Please. blinks* SJ: ...you're a real ahole at times. Wrangler: Ok fine, i'll bite, shoot. SJ: This is 10th of May, 2011, and this is new earth as we know it. On Wee-Day, the project forerly known as Ambulation hit the markets. Wrangler: Right... SJ: It was an utter and complete-- Wrangler: Failure? SJ: Success. Wrangler: Oh. SJ: Soon, every household in the world had atleast on running EVE client, as the reality of EVE peeked so high, it took over the real reality. Wrangler: Doubt it. SJ: Trust me, it was real. Wrangler: So where is everybody? SJ: In WiS. The Wireless Intelligence System. Wrangler: It means walk in stations. SJ: That's hwat we thought. That's what it wanted us to believe. When WiS went online-- Wrangler: Hold on. We're in some form of futuristic ship, flying under paris, you're saying machines took over the world on "wee-day", when an "intelligence" went online.. SJ: Yeah? Wrangler: Seems a bit, familiar. SJ: We know, WoW 2 launch day. Wrangler: No i mean...ah forget it. SJ: In any case, all the humans of the world are logged in to EVE, ambulating to their hearts content while the WiS feeds on natural resources and keeps us unaware of the real world. Wrangler: Lemme guess, you're the resistance, trying to destroy WiS and you were woken up from your slumber because you're the chosen one? SJ: Logged out of the game, yes. We are the saviors of earth, patriots of humanity, the masters of the universe if you will. Wrangler: That's pushing it. Legal will be all over this story. SJ: It's ok, it's non-profit. Anyway, we don't know who fired the first shot of the great war on WiS, but we know that we burned the internets. It didn't stop it though, it was already too late as-- Navigator: Approaching Portal! SJ: We have to continue this later, we're nearing the Portal. Wrangler: Should i even ask what the Portal is? SJ: It's very-- Wrangler: Simple. Got it. SJ: Good, you're learning. The Nebby approached the huge underground facility, built deeper and closer to the heart of the earth below Paris-- Wrangler: Oh come on... SJ: Shh! As i was saying... frowns ...the Nebby flew closer and with a quiet "clank" and "clonk" of the docking clamps, which for whatever reason never went "clamp", the Nebby shut down systems and the crew neared the exit. The cat seemed not to care anymore. It was, waiting. (to be continued) (disclaimer: I don't wear pink. I......don't.) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Little Matt Caldari New Fnord Industries	Posted - 2008.12.01 09:00:00 - [463] Awesome post. Keep it up SJ and I'll give you a pretty pink frock. :)
Sephy'Ra Ascendant Strategies Inc.	Posted - 2008.12.01 19:48:00 - [464] Edited by: Sephy''Ra on 01/12/2008 19:48:37 May I 1up my postcount by stating that this seems to be a parody of Back to the Future + Terminator + Matrix + "whatever the cat symbolizes"? Heck, it's awesome! EDIT: There is no postcount!
sg3s Battlestars GoonSwarm	Posted - 2008.12.01 20:20:00 - [465] Originally by: Sheriff Jones The Nebby approached the huge underground facility, built deeper and closer to the heart of the earth below Paris-- Wrangler: Oh come on... SJ: Shh! LOL It's about time I put something sensible in here, but I couldn't really come up with something so you'l have to do with this. Are you like really bored, or did you not notice this is my sig?
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr The Night Corporation RONA Alliance	Posted - 2008.12.02 08:34:00 - [466] Am I the only one here who's interested if the cat is also pink? _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
Rahvin Damodred Tenth Legion Holdings Tenth Legion	Posted - 2008.12.03 05:08:00 - [467] Best.Thread.Ever.
EnslaverOfMinmatar Yarsk Hunters DeaDSpace Coalition	Posted - 2008.12.04 00:30:00 - [468] Edited by: EnslaverOfMinmatar on 04/12/2008 00:31:22 bang bang Navigator: Ouch. Not again! bang bang Navigator: Stop hitting me with the bat! bang bang* Navigator: Why are you doing this? Nozh: Your locking speed has reached ludicrous speed. Because of that, Fatality (our forum engine) is behaving quite strangely. Even 100+ page threads disappear out of the blue.. Navigator: That wasn't me, that's Torfi. Nozh: You won't find anything in the logs to prove it, haha! Your lock button, the dev giveth and the dev taketh. Navigator: But.. but.. I need 3563 more locks than Mitnal to be the number one on snip Posting lockboard links is not permitted /snip Nozh: Well, ok, the real reason is because of your locks I can't read my daily nanowhines. BANG Navigator: Awwww my arm!! I'm gonna quit if you don't stop and sue you!! ding ding Navigator: Welcome to CCP, how... EnslaverOfMinmatar: ohaii i kan haz ur stuffz? Navigator clicks lock on EnslaverOfMinmatar EnslaverOfMinmatar: LOOK I HAZ LOLZSLAVURS Navigator: My lock isn't working!? What the ...? EnslaverOfMinmatar: polycarbonz Nozh hears the code word and goes berserk Nozh: NERF! bang NERF! bang NERF bang bangNERF NERF NERFFFFFF!!!!....... uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɹnʇɐuƃıs ʎɯ ƃuıpɐǝɹ ǝɹɐ noʎ
Vak'ran	Posted - 2008.12.04 01:00:00 - [469] Originally by: EnslaverOfMinmatar Edited by: EnslaverOfMinmatar on 04/12/2008 00:31:22 bang bang Navigator: Ouch. Not again! bang bang Navigator: Stop hitting me with the bat! bang bang* Navigator: Why are you doing this? Nozh: Your locking speed has reached ludicrous speed. Because of that, Fatality (our forum engine) is behaving quite strangely. Even 100+ page threads disappear out of the blue.. Navigator: That wasn't me, that's Torfi. Nozh: You won't find anything in the logs to prove it, haha! Your lock button, the dev giveth and the dev taketh. Navigator: But.. but.. I need 3563 more locks than Mitnal to be the number one on snip Posting lockboard links is not permitted /snip Nozh: Well, ok, the real reason is because of your locks I can't read my daily nanowhines. BANG Navigator: Awwww my arm!! I'm gonna quit if you don't stop and sue you!! ding ding Navigator: Welcome to CCP, how... EnslaverOfMinmatar: ohaii i kan haz ur stuffz? Navigator clicks lock on EnslaverOfMinmatar EnslaverOfMinmatar: LOOK I HAZ LOLZSLAVURS Navigator: My lock isn't working!? What the ...? EnslaverOfMinmatar: polycarbonz Nozh hears the code word and goes berserk Nozh: NERF! bang NERF! bang NERF bang bangNERF NERF NERFFFFFF!!!!....... --- click click EnslaverOfMinmatar: yo whot you doin'? Vak'Ran: Trying to change stations to get away from you and your idealistic commercial kinda deal click click EnslaverOfMinmatar: ohaii i kan haz ur stuffz? Vak'Ran: Its no bloody use you are all over the forum EnslaverOfMinmatar: Buy me 'Navigator locked my threadzzz T-Shirt!' Vak'Ran: Oh bugger it, i'll watch jones in syndication... click --- Jones you got a website or somesuch where we can read your stuff without muppets like the quoted ruining our day? ----- Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.05 16:15:00 - [470] Originally by: Vak'ran Jones you got a website or somesuch where we can read your stuff without muppets like the quoted ruining our day? Nah, this belongs in the forums and if for some unearthly way the forums would disappear and the "logs would show nothing", this thread would become a mere speckle of memory dust in the internet highway. Would you like to know more? Seriously though, i don't mind, it's kind of homage'esque You still here? Hmm? looks around What? Oh...well...ok then! (the story continues!) The doors of the Nebby slowly opened and the once glorious passageways of the Portal City came to view. Once the pinnacle of technology and other assorted things of the "oooh aaaah" nature, the hallways now resembled more the rusted and staincovered underbelly of long sunken oceanliners. While the writer rambled on about the magnificence of the Portal City, Wrangler pointed at a character waiting at the docking bay. Wrangler: Who's he? Fallout: SHE! Who's she! Wrangler: Sorry, it's the light. Who's you? Fallout: I'm Fallout, the propripara...porpirata...owner of the place. Wrangler: You own an underground lair under Paris? Fallout: So? Wrangler: Oh nothing. SJ: Fallout, how's the portal? Fallout: Loaded and ready. The bugs should be out of the system. SJ: We better get a move on, we don't have much time. Navigator, keep the Nebby warm. Navigator: Gotcha. And the cat? SJ: What cat? Navigator: That cat. SJ: Oh that cat. Navigator: Yeah. SJ: Nevermind it. Navigator: Right. SJ: Come on Wrangler. Wrangler: I'm travelling with ret-- Fallout: SHH! Wrangler: What?! Fallout: Don't say that word. Wrangler: What word? Ret-- Fallout slaps Wrangler. Wrangler: HEY! Fallout: We don't use those kinds of words here, the machines ban everyone who does. Wrangler: Ooooh...ban...so scared. Fallout: Permanent ban, you catch my drift? Wrangler: Yeah man, chill. Gees. Fallout: MAM! Wrangler: Right, the reflection, of the tubes..it...yeah. Jones, Wrangler and Fallout headed down the bowels of the robot with a bad case of corrosis, while Eris and Navigaotr went back to the Nebby. Soon the sounds of the docking bay doors closing, were a mere echo in the...far away. Wrangler: So, what's the portal? SJ: It's a gateway. Wrangler: ... As the bay doors were closing, one indecicive cat was sitting in the middle. After a while of pondering the pros and cons between following the strangers heading into the strange metal blob and the strangers heading into the strange metal tube, the cat had decided on the tube option. The cat wasn't perplexed, curious, or even annoyed, but merely nauseated. (The end!) (No wait...to be continued!) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

MinSebsis Minmatar Minmatar Ship Construction Services Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2008.12.05 16:22:00 - [471] These are awesome! More Please!
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.12.05 16:32:00 - [472] More, more, more, please.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2008.12.05 18:48:00 - [473] come on, give us more! ---- --- --- Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :)
Wacoede Amarr Allied Combat Team	Posted - 2008.12.09 20:20:00 - [474] back to the top with you ___________________________________________________ Originally by: Avery Fatwallet when someone sez "eve is too tuff" standard reply is "can i have stuff?"
Orion GUardian Caldari	Posted - 2008.12.11 19:47:00 - [475] bump for more
Hockey Moan	Posted - 2008.12.11 19:48:00 - [476] Its kinda sad to see this very nice tread on page 8, even in the mids of the EvE financial crisis ocurring at this moment. Let me give it a push back to the top. /me hooks the tread on first page. There ya go........
Becq Starforged Minmatar Ship Construction Services Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2008.12.12 21:56:00 - [477] Surely there must be a "CCP Shop" sketch or three hiding somewhere in the POS bug mess...? Here, I'll help you get started: ding ding -- Becq Starforged Ushra'Khan The Flame of Freedom Burns On!
Pliauga Gallente Federal Defence Union	Posted - 2008.12.16 10:40:00 - [478] MOAR!!!... ---------- DRONE love rulez!! 'mkay?! .
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.16 11:06:00 - [479] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 16/12/2008 11:07:14 Recipient: [email protected] Subject: CCP Notification. It has come to our attention that you've been using your corporation(CCP Shop) to mine LOLs without any costs. This is a known exploit and as such, your corporation(CCP Shop) will be removed from the internet, aswell as all assets linked to the corporation(CCP Shop) and all assets linked to the character(Sheriff Jones). Furthermore, the character(Sheriff Jones) and all characters linked to the character(Sheriff Jones) and all characters linked to the corporation(CCP Shop) will be banned. We would also like to inform you, that we will be removing the characters(Sheriff Jones) dog(Sparky) and the corporation(doghouse) linked to the dog(Sparky). All possible dogs affiliated with the corporation(doghouse) owned by characters(Sheriff Jones) dog(Sparky) will also be removed. The characters(Sheriff Jones) Wife(Mrs Jones) will be removed from the corporation(House) and will be reprocessed accordingly. The corporation(House) of Wife(Mrs Jones) will be removed as well as any characters or items linked to the corporation(House) or Wife(Mrs Jones). Any petition regarding the safe return of Wife(Mrs Jones) will result in a permanent biomassing of Wife(Mrs Jones). Best Regards, CCP. ----- Recipient: [email protected] Subkect: RE: CCP Notification. Please return my wife! -SJ My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
threeDspider Caldari Appetite 4 Destruction	Posted - 2008.12.16 13:42:00 - [480] You're the only person on here who wouldn't ask for their characters back before their wife

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.16 14:04:00 - [481] Originally by: threeDspider You're the only person on here who wouldn't ask for their characters back before their wife Read it again, i know the joke is "subtle" My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
threeDspider Caldari Appetite 4 Destruction	Posted - 2008.12.16 18:02:00 - [482] I got to near the end of the original email and skimmed a little, assuming the POS exploit theme was the joke You sly devil, you
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2008.12.16 18:17:00 - [483] Originally by: Sheriff Jones <snip> Any petition regarding the safe return of Wife(Mrs Jones) will result in a permanent biomassing of Wife(Mrs Jones). <snip> Recipient: [email protected] Subject: RE: CCP Notification. Please return my wife! -SJ Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Orion GUardian Caldari	Posted - 2008.12.16 19:54:00 - [484] very crafty
Graduran Anguirill Ministry of War	Posted - 2008.12.16 23:57:00 - [485] bump for the funnay ~~o~~ Shike from DAoC ~~o~~
SiJira	Posted - 2008.12.17 17:32:00 - [486] is there a second part to it that got buried in the thread? Trashed sig, Shark was here
Goodlookin Gus Gallente Dark Storm.	Posted - 2008.12.18 08:05:00 - [487] awsome SJ. made me laugh so hard i fell of the chair :) keep em coming, you are doing eve community an big favour with this awsome tread :) PS. what about some ship lost due to "lag" complaints. like someone 2 Titan in an week :) (i wish i could fly one or afford one) Gus Viking Research Bpc sale High sec research service avalible. join channel viking research for more info
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.19 10:35:00 - [488] T'was the time of cheer and joy, for every adult, girl and boy. And Wrangler in his lonesome shop, would skip around, he'd hip and hop. He decorated the old fir tree, and hung some tinsel with a glee, some carolers outside he'd hear, 'cause Christmas time was near. He'd hang the socks and cooked the ham, he'd make some pies with meat and jam. The table could not take ounce more! but Wrangler said "Don't be a bore." He loaded some chocolate and pudding and pie, the feast would surely make someone die. And then he gave himself a cheer, for Christmas time was near. Now from the door he heard a knock, "This Santa early?", alas it was not. Instead there was an angry flock. Screaming out "Wrangler, you ***!" He huffed aloud and asked "What's up?" "We want some snowballs or you suck!" This surely wasn't the Christmas way, so Wrangler buffed his chest to say; "Now listen here you dirty lot, for all i care you all can rot. This Christmas not some free-to-take. There are no launchers AND no cake! This time for family, friends and food, not spacepixels, griefing and pwning some dude. You listen now and you listen here, Christmas time is near!" The crowd stood still and for a while, Wrangler had a little smile. It seemed they listened, so it would seem. If it wasn't a fooling dream. They rabbled on and threw some mud, and Wrangler retreated in his hut. He kicked the door and threw the bell. "These people all can go to hell." So he shot the tree and burned the ham, 'cause Wrangler couldn't give a damn. He logged to EVE and deleted them all, he even let the servers fall. So shush my friends, be quiet and nice. In this magical time of snow and ice. 'cause Wrangler needs his rest this year, And Christmas time is here. (Heading off to the festival of light thingies, the santa shenannigans and to fill my belly with ham and jelly. Might be a bit AFF until new years, but don't worry, will be back Have a happy holiday all!) Wrangler walks to the door and writes on the sign:"Goo...ne...iii..ce...fiii.shing." My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.*
Glengrant TOHA Heavy Industries	Posted - 2008.12.19 11:38:00 - [489] Thanks for all the fun. merry xmas --- Save the forum: Think before you post. ISK BUYER = LOOSER EVE TV- Bring it back!
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.12.25 10:40:00 - [490] OMG! Page 12, not good. Bump for more!

Sopha Serpentia Core Dynamics	Posted - 2008.12.25 11:26:00 - [491] Baa Baa Baa! (sheep impression) Haha very funny. Actually I don't get it. Im surprised this lame attempt to make like a circus seal over CCP staffers is still frnt page. Oh well at least you got your pat on the head. Maybe you should join I.S.D.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence DAMAGE INC...	Posted - 2008.12.25 12:09:00 - [492] Yay more CCP Shop. Another good one Sheriff Jones, and a vary marry Christmas to you as well. ---- --- --- Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :)
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.30 12:03:00 - [493] (Back, with something new: CONCORD Office - Part 1...i guess.) CONCORD officer: We have been informed that you were dropping cans with explicit nametags all over the system. Criminal: It's not what you think. C.O.: So you weren't dropping cans saying "CCP sucks marbles!", "CONCORD can eat my trails if they can catch me!" or "The sweet baked food made of flour is false information with the intention of deceiving."? Criminal: Well i'm not saying i didn't do it. C.O.: So you did do it. What on earth were you thinking? Criminal: Well, i thought it would be funny. C.O.: You thought, it would be funny, to make silly statements in a public location, about known persons and or corporations, just to make people laugh?! What kind of a sick person would do that kind of thing? Criminal: ... C.O.: ... both look at camera My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.12.30 12:23:00 - [494] Originally by: Sheriff Jones both look at camera Why are you looking at me?? I'm not laughing! Shows a serious face to the camera.
keepiru Supernova Security Systems	Posted - 2008.12.30 12:35:00 - [495] Originally by: Sheriff Jones "The sweet baked food made of flour is false information with the intention of deceiving." I lol'd. The cats are looking at me weird now. ... and I really think they should boost T2 plate HP.
Concorduck Gallente	Posted - 2008.12.30 12:38:00 - [496] Originally by: Sheriff Jones "The sweet baked food made of flour is false information with the intention of deceiving."? Really, Really, Really well played. ----------------------------------------- Originally by: Crumplecorn Contact the CSM about it, voting themselves into disbandment wouldn't be pushing the boundaries of absurdity for them.
MercenaryMuffin Soul Ripper Consortium	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:04:00 - [497] Edited by: MercenaryMuffin on 30/12/2008 13:05:23 Wrangler: I'm a Developer and I'm okay I code all night and I mod all day CCP Devs: He's a Developer and he's okay He codes all night and he mods all day! I cut down spam, I lock the threads I go to the G&D On Wednesdays I go nerfin' And get nano noobs to flee CCP Devs: He cuts down spam, he locks the threads He goes to the G&D! On Wednesdays he goes nerfin' And gets nano noobs to flee! Wrangler: I'm a Developer and I'm OK I code all night and I mod all day I cut down spam, I lag and jump I like to press my luck I name a lot of updates And say they'll be out "SOON" CCP Devs: He's a Developer and he's okay He codes all night and he mods all day! He cuts down spam, he lags and jumps He likes to press his luck! He names a lot of updates And says they'll be out soon...? He's a Developer and he's okay He codes all night and he mods all day! Wrangler: I cut down spam, I wear BoB shirts I lounge in my lazy chair I wish I worked at Blizzard And had back all my hair! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Follow my travels through the Eve galaxy at my fancy new blog The Red Eye Express
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:10:00 - [498] Originally by: MercenaryMuffin ..Wall of text.. Made my day.
MercenaryMuffin Soul Ripper Consortium	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:12:00 - [499] You can always rely on Monty Python to deliver the win ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Follow my travels through the Eve galaxy at my fancy new blog The Red Eye Express
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:14:00 - [500] Originally by: MercenaryMuffin You can always rely on Monty Python to deliver the win Well done, not to mention, it's partly where this whole tihng started My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

MercenaryMuffin Soul Ripper Consortium	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:42:00 - [501] Oveur: Wrangler? Navigator? Your bosses are so glad you decided to join us for this CCP communication session. Wrangler: So, what's up? You guys moving to Blizzard, or something? Oveur: No. We just wanted the team to talk as a group. Oveur: Okay. Well, Wrangler, Nav.. the forum trolls and I are a little bit concerned. Incognito, the FNG, was in the server room, and he found a stack of unfinished projects. Wrangler: [ anxious ] ...He didn't finish them, did he? Oveur: No! He didn't finish them. Now, we're not here to "come down on you" I mean, that's not what we're about, okay? We're just concerned that unfinished updates could lead to other things. Nav: Like what?... Oveur: Unfinished expansions. Needless ship nerfs. Let's not even talk about that Rouge Drone fiasco. Mitnal: Well, we know you don't want to hear this from us. Oveur: Sure! I mean we're your bosses! Who wants to hear this stuff from their bosses, huh? Mitnal: Oveur and I came up with a brilliant idea to give you devs some direction - a motivational speaker. Oveur: Yeah. One of those guys who speaks to big groups at BoB-B-Ques and Goonmeets. Wrangler: You mean, to come to the office? Mitnal: Yeah. [ the devs get up to leave ] Oveur: Hey, come on, you guys. This set me back a few isk. Okay, his name is Matt Foley. Now, he's been down in the basement drinking coffee for about the last four hours, and he should be all ready to go. I'll call him up. [ opens the basement door ] Matt, we're ready for you! [ turns to the devs ] His speech is called "Go For It!" Now, he's used to big groups, so make him feel like there's a crowd here. [ calls down the basement again ] Matt! Come on up, buddy! Continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Follow my travels through the Eve galaxy at my fancy new blog The Red Eye Express
white kight Caldari Provisions	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:57:00 - [502] Originally by: MercenaryMuffin Oveur: Wrangler? Navigator? Your bosses are so glad you decided to join us for this CCP communication session. Wrangler: So, what's up? You guys moving to Blizzard, or something? Oveur: No. We just wanted the team to talk as a group. Oveur: Okay. Well, Wrangler, Nav.. the forum trolls and I are a little bit concerned. Incognito, the FNG, was in the server room, and he found a stack of unfinished projects. Wrangler: [ anxious ] ...He didn't finish them, did he? Oveur: No! He didn't finish them. Now, we're not here to "come down on you" I mean, that's not what we're about, okay? We're just concerned that unfinished updates could lead to other things. Nav: Like what?... Oveur: Unfinished expansions. Needless ship nerfs. Let's not even talk about that Rouge Drone fiasco. Mitnal: Well, we know you don't want to hear this from us. Oveur: Sure! I mean we're your bosses! Who wants to hear this stuff from their bosses, huh? Mitnal: Oveur and I came up with a brilliant idea to give you devs some direction - a motivational speaker. Oveur: Yeah. One of those guys who speaks to big groups at BoB-B-Ques and Goonmeets. Wrangler: You mean, to come to the office? Mitnal: Yeah. [ the devs get up to leave ] Oveur: Hey, come on, you guys. This set me back a few isk. Okay, his name is Matt Foley. Now, he's been down in the basement drinking coffee for about the last four hours, and he should be all ready to go. I'll call him up. [ opens the basement door ] Matt, we're ready for you! [ turns to the devs ] His speech is called "Go For It!" Now, he's used to big groups, so make him feel like there's a crowd here. [ calls down the basement again ] Matt! Come on up, buddy! Continued Stop stealing Sherrif's thunder with your posts made of win Originally by: CCP Navigator Thread Locked. Please note that the General Discussion area is not.... Oh who am I kidding - Continue
MercenaryMuffin Soul Ripper Consortium	Posted - 2008.12.30 13:59:00 - [503] Matt Foley: [ runs up the stairs, bouncing back and forth as he talks ] Alright, how's everybody? Good! Good! Good! Now, as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a Motivational Speaker and Age of Conan developer! Now, let's get started by me giving you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about! First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a van down by the river! Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the Eve Universe by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to Jack Squat!!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and living in a van down by the river! Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life? Wrangler: [ nervous ] I.. actually, Matt.. I kinda wanna be a Developer.. Matt Foley: We-e-e-elll.. la-de-freakin'-da! We've got ourselves a Developer here! [ jumps across the room ] Hey, Mitnal, I can't see real good.. [ lifts his glasses off and on his face ] ..is that Sid Meier over there? Mitnal: Well, actually, Matt.. Oveur and I have encouraged Wrangler in his coding. Matt Foley: Mitnal, I wish you could just shut your big yapper! [ stumbles back across the room ] Now, I wonder.. Wrangler, from what I've heard, you're using your dev skills, not for writing, but for forgetting updates!! You're gonna be doing a lot of update-forgetting when you're living in a van down by the river! [ turns to Nav] Young Nav, what do you want to do with your life?! Nav: [ sarcastic ] I want to live in a van down by the river. Matt Foley: Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river when you're.. [ tries to be clever ] ..living in a van down by the river! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Follow my travels through the Eve galaxy at my fancy new blog The Red Eye Express
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.30 15:15:00 - [504] Originally by: white kight Stop stealing Sherrif's thunder with your posts made of win Now now, i am one who enjoys the occasional "add-on" by new victim...err...posters on the thread scribbles down Mercenary Muffin is it? Right. goes off to write something Get the band ready! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.30 15:38:00 - [505] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 30/12/2008 15:39:05 (Since Wrangler is on his adventure) ding ding Hellmar: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! MercenaryMuffin: Jis, helly. Ai wish to regiister a shiyp. Hellmar: Register a... MM: Shiyp. Hellmar: A ship? MM: Jis, that's what ai said. Hellmar: But, you don't need to register your ship, you just need to download the game an-- MM: Ai did. Hellmar: Yes and create an acco-- MM: Ai did. Hellmar: And, that's it really. No need to register anything here. MM: But ai want a permit for mai orca. Hellmar: A permit? MM: Jis. Hellmar: You don't need a permit to your ship... MM: Jis ai do. Hellmar: Look, no you don't. MM: Then how do you explain the permit for mai rookiiII! ahem rookii ship "Muffin"-- Hellmar: I-- MM: And mai maining barge "Muffin", not to mention mai raiven "Muffin". Hellmar: You named your Raven "Muffin"? MM: Jis, what of it? Hellmar: Nothing at all. But you still don't need a permit. MM: Look HIIII ahem...Look hier! I want ai parmit for mai orca, "Muffin", so are ji going to give mi one or not?! Hellmar: No, you're a silly man and i don't like you. MM looks at camera; "Fiir enough." MM shoots Hellmar (BANG!) Hellmar: OW!! What the hell!!! MM: It's not laik i didn't warn ji. Hellmar: You didn't! You bastard! Oh god! Call me an ambulance you nutter! MM: Do ji have ai permit? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
MercenaryMuffin Soul Ripper Consortium	Posted - 2008.12.30 15:50:00 - [506] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Follow my travels through the Eve galaxy at my fancy new blog The Red Eye Express
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team Axiom Empire	Posted - 2008.12.30 16:05:00 - [507]
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2008.12.31 16:11:00 - [508] My New Years Resolutions, by Sheriff Jones, This year, i promise the following; - I will not make "fun" of Wrangler and otheer CCP staff in overly exaggarated skits. - I will not kill anyone who doesn't really really deserve it. - I will not make fun of every thread on GD with senseles, immature or sexist jokes. - I will not try to get into every pair of knickers i see. - I will not also try to get in every pair of briefs i see. - Above applies also to thongs, trousers, skirts, pyjamas and gerbils. - I will not pester the people at CCP about making me "Director Supreme of Funny". - I will not ask for any sort of poster about any sort of person. - I will stop smoking. Rightt after i put myself off. - I will fight crime, i'll save the world, i'll resque little kittens with my might power...erhm...i'll do something nice to puppies. - I will not drink another drop of alco...al... Hold on. goes to the cabinet comes back 15 minutes later My Bhull**** claims, - I promishe tho be a ghood boy. Shigned, Up Yourss Happy New Years all, blame the quality drop on the world wide alcohol conclamr...conlama...conclim...people My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
rValdez5987 Amarr 32nd Amarrian Imperial Navy Regiment.	Posted - 2008.12.31 19:32:00 - [509] Originally by: Sheriff Jones My New Years Resolutions, by Sheriff Jones, This year, i promise the following; - I will not make "fun" of Wrangler and otheer CCP staff in overly exaggarated skits. - I will not kill anyone who doesn't really really deserve it. - I will not make fun of every thread on GD with senseles, immature or sexist jokes. - I will not try to get into every pair of knickers i see. - I will not also try to get in every pair of briefs i see. - Above applies also to thongs, trousers, skirts, pyjamas and gerbils. - I will not pester the people at CCP about making me "Director Supreme of Funny". - I will not ask for any sort of poster about any sort of person. - I will stop smoking. Rightt after i put myself off. - I will fight crime, i'll save the world, i'll resque little kittens with my might power...erhm...i'll do something nice to puppies. - I will not drink another drop of alco...al... Hold on. goes to the cabinet comes back 15 minutes later My Bhull**** claims, - I promishe tho be a ghood boy. Shigned, Up Yourss Happy New Years all, blame the quality drop on the world wide alcohol conclamr...conlama...conclim...people My resolution: I will stop laughing at SJ's jokes... oh who am I kidding... Your awesome.
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2009.01.04 09:23:00 - [510] Sheriff Jones for President! Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

Zhora Six	Posted - 2009.01.05 14:42:00 - [511] So many minutes of my life that I'll never get back... \/ _______________________________________ Pull a lever, push a button, have a banana, die. Space Monkeys.
Katabrok First Caldari Star Mandate	Posted - 2009.01.09 11:24:00 - [512] Oh my, page 8??? more, more, more!!! Kata Uma vez flamengo, sempre flamengo.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente Department of Defence	Posted - 2009.01.09 17:57:00 - [513] Oh, come one this thing needs to stay on top, so Sheriff Jones can't miss it .
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.12 07:22:00 - [514] Thanks for the demand peeps, and no, i won't miss this Been busy in the "real world", kicking trendy teenagers in the shins and making them "'bey the law!" and my EVEventures are on hold. This means a lil pause on the shop too. Hey, Wrangler needs his westypoos Will return microsoft, aka, when i'm ready My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

CCP Wrangler	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:11:00 - [515] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Thanks for the demand peeps, and no, i won't miss this Been busy in the "real world", kicking trendy teenagers in the shins and making them "'bey the law!" and my EVEventures are on hold. This means a lil pause on the shop too. Hey, Wrangler needs his westypoos Will return microsoft, aka, when i'm ready Does that mean you're a cop or a teacher in the real world then?

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:13:00 - [516] Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Thanks for the demand peeps, and no, i won't miss this Been busy in the "real world", kicking trendy teenagers in the shins and making them "'bey the law!" and my EVEventures are on hold. This means a lil pause on the shop too. Hey, Wrangler needs his westypoos Will return microsoft, aka, when i'm ready Does that mean you're a cop or a teacher in the real world then? Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff
Ranik Sandaris Caldari The Centurions Eternus Imperium Alliance	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:15:00 - [517] Sheriff, i have decided that you are in fact the second coming of christ. You bring hilarity and joy to my otherwise uneventfull day. You shepard the lost flock of EVE forumites to salvation. You are the one true king. And as such, i want you on my face.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:20:00 - [518] Sheriff Jesus would be a bit pushing it Much appreciated though. Oh and Wrangleypooh, if it was a serious question, i'm actually a game dev My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:37:00 - [519] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Thanks for the demand peeps, and no, i won't miss this Been busy in the "real world", kicking trendy teenagers in the shins and making them "'bey the law!" and my EVEventures are on hold. This means a lil pause on the shop too. Hey, Wrangler needs his westypoos Will return microsoft, aka, when i'm ready Does that mean you're a cop or a teacher in the real world then? Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff Sheriff Stig .. lol nice one :) -----
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.01.12 09:48:00 - [520] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff What's creepy is that I'm wearing my "I Am The Stig" t-shirt to work today I've also had one of my co-workers ask me what it means - I think I may have found the one person in the UK who doesn't watch Top Gear...


CCP Wrangler	Posted - 2009.01.12 10:34:00 - [521] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff Actually,I have some other details about you as well. Originally by: Sheriff Jones Oh and Wrangleypooh, if it was a serious question, i'm actually a game dev Ok that's just not fair, I don't get to kick teenagers...

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.12 10:39:00 - [522] Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff Actually,I have some other details about you as well. Originally by: Sheriff Jones Oh and Wrangleypooh, if it was a serious question, i'm actually a game dev Ok that's just not fair, I don't get to kick teenagers... Hmm. I must dispatch my black choppers now... Also, well, i'm not getting enough pay due to budget things so i get a bonus teenager to kick
Roy Batty68 Caldari Immortal Dead	Posted - 2009.01.12 10:57:00 - [523] - Dancing nekid - Lots of thongs - Kicking teenagers - Game dev He's making a **** MMO. (and apparently abusing his interns)
Rair Fryar Minmatar	Posted - 2009.01.12 20:07:00 - [524] /subscribed
Zaruda Minmatar Tribal Liberation Force	Posted - 2009.01.13 01:42:00 - [525] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Young Troll: We could tell their customer service is abysmal and how every other company in the MMO market does things in a way more efficient manner and how they should increase their revenue by creating valid content and NOT by creating content that appeals to the masses? T1: .... T2: .... HT: Smell of poo it is! Right. Send a message to all trolls via EVEmail, skype and/or pidgeons and get to work! bang bang bang Gold. Pure Gold. I love this one. So fitting.
Zex Maxwell Caldari	Posted - 2009.01.13 17:59:00 - [526] Do one about mining.
Brethen Crowne Minmatar Eve University Ivy League	Posted - 2009.01.17 10:24:00 - [527] Page 9 bumpage
Sephy'Ra Ascendant Strategies Inc.	Posted - 2009.01.20 19:58:00 - [528] Oops, my bad - bumped ya.
Chris Liath Gallente The Vorlon Empire Skunk-Works	Posted - 2009.01.20 20:00:00 - [529] Sheriff, will you sign my left bumcheek? "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.20 20:30:00 - [530] I know i know! I'll be back as soon as i can mustard the mind-sausage. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Astria Tiphareth Caldari 24th Imperial Crusade	Posted - 2009.01.22 21:30:00 - [531] Originally by: Sheriff Jones I'll be back as soon as i can mustard the mind-sausage. Not soon enough, I tells ya! Your public needs you! However they can wait, we want stories first. Put down that lag-free book about why Scripting Language A is better than Scripting Language B (thus avoiding yet another destructive developer war) and spread that mustard thickly! Ahem.. I don't know what came over me. I'd blame pre-Apocrypha jitters, but it's more likely because our Agile sprint finishes tomorrow. Excuse me, I must go wash off some buzzwords wanders off in search of the facilities ___ My views may not represent those of my corporation, which is why I never get invited to those diplomatic parties... Environmental Effects
Usagi Toshiro Amarr Ministry of War	Posted - 2009.01.22 21:51:00 - [532] Originally by: Sheriff Jones comes back out wearing his wizard hat and robe Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might i assist you? XKCD ftw!
J'Mkarr Soban Amarr Proxenetae Invicti	Posted - 2009.01.22 21:54:00 - [533] Originally by: Mister Flibble Originally by: Sheriff Jones Some say i spend my times dancing semi-naked to the beat of techno. Some say that if my thongs were tied together, they'd reach around the world. All you know is, i'm called the Sheriff What's creepy is that I'm wearing my "I Am The Stig" t-shirt to work today I've also had one of my co-workers ask me what it means - I think I may have found the one person in the UK who doesn't watch Top Gear... I thought they signed it into law that it was mandatory to watch Top Gear! BURN THAT HERETIC! -- These are my personal views and in no way represent the views of Proxenetae Invicti, which maintains a neutral stance stemming from the strong ethics demanded of its work.
Tachyahn	Posted - 2009.01.22 21:54:00 - [534] Originally by: Khraunus Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You in charge of this thing you call an "expansion"?! Wrangler: I could be sir. Customer: What on earth do you call this thing as it sure as hell ain't an expansion! Wrangler: We call it quantum rising, dun du dun. Customer: I mean...it's not an expansion! It's a carebear park add-on! Wrangler: No no, it's quantum rising...dun du dun. Customer: Not the point damnit!! And isn't it quantum rise anyway? Wrangler: No no, there's a quan-tum riiising thrusts Customer: Err... Wrangler: Mr quantum riiisiiiing thrust thrust Customer: Ah! Stop that! Wrangler: It is. Customer: Look, this add-on only adds to some carebear activities and i won't take it! Wrangler: Oooh you'll take it... Customer: What?! Wrangler: You'll take it and love it! thrust Customer: You've gone insane! Wrangler: And you love it! Customer: I most certainly don't! Wrangler: Oh... Customer: Now then-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: ... Wrangler: Sorry. Customer: Now-- Wrangler thrusts. Customer: That's it! ding ding Wrangler: Mr Quantum rising....whistles I lol'd. HARD. The mental image from this make me LMAO. Really. ow.
Pliauga Gallente Aliastra	Posted - 2009.01.28 06:53:00 - [535] Page 9 ?!?!?! No way. C'mon SJ, you know we love you
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.28 06:55:00 - [536] Originally by: Pliauga Page 9 ?!?!?! No way. C'mon SJ, you know we love you I'm shocked, just today as i walked to work i had all the pieces fall in place to this thread Expect a continue of the W/SJ Adventure today, in, oh....8-9 hours after work
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.01.28 08:33:00 - [537] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Also spooky: thread was on page 9 and we're on page 18, double the 9 and get 18! OooOOoooo. And have you noticed how if you add the 1 and the 8 together, you ALSO get 9? AND there were 9 'o's in your "OooOOoooo" Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find my tinfoil hat...
Math'ra Hiede Amarr Quality Assurance Inc.	Posted - 2009.01.28 10:08:00 - [538] Moar Sheriff goodness. I think we need Mitnal to sticky this thread, just so we don't have to keep bumping it all the time, as im pretty damn sure it won't die while the Sheriff is on duty.
ZMasterz Caldari Pothouse Cartel IDLE EMPIRE	Posted - 2009.01.28 10:33:00 - [539] Just read through the last 17.5 pages ... awesome stuff Can¦t wait for more
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.28 15:45:00 - [540] The story so far... The pinto charges up to a whpping 8.8 miles an hour and as the bleeps and blops dissapate, the car enters a warp-tunnel. Decimating half of the street. And spooking a really nervous cat. ---- The Pinto crashes through a few trashcans and boxes, spooks a well amazed cat who had a traumatic experience almost a year back and finally stops covered in smoke in the dark alley. ---- The cat holds on to the frontbumper of the car. Very displeased. ---- On top the Nebby, one of the remaining assault cruisers in the human resistance, A very perplexed cat was having a real bad headache. ---- ???? sits down and waits. ---- Meow? scratch scratch scratch Meow... ---- The cat seemed not to care anymore. It was, waiting. ---- As the bay doors were closing, one indecicive cat was sitting in the middle. After a while of pondering the pros and cons between following the strangers heading into the strange metal blob and the strangers heading into the strange metal tube, the cat had decided on the tube option. The cat wasn't perplexed, curious, or even annoyed, but merely nauseated. ---- And now...the conclusion. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.28 15:47:00 - [541] What did you do? What?! You posted it! No i didn't! It's right there! Ah damn, i pressed enter. Well fix it! I'm trying!! God...we're onna get killed if SJ finds out. I got it! ... ...guess not. Gees man! Hurry up! They're looking at us funny! They can see us?! YES! Umm...hi mom! DUDE!! Ack....play a commercial! We don't have commercials! This is text based! A..we...u...pull the plug! Right!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.28 16:16:00 - [542] Wrangler, Fallout and Sheriff Jones walked down the corridors of the Portal City for a long while, a while that could be described as: Wrangler: Booooooring!! Hey... Wrangler: Sorry. SJ: Calm down, we're nearly there. Fallout: Just around the corner really. Wrangler: You said that three corners ago. Fallout: You want to lead us? Wrangler: Yes. Fallout: Well rough. SJ: Just shut up. Wrangler: You shut up. SJ: No YOU shut up! Fallout: Why won't you BOTH shut up! We're here. The dynamic trio enters through a heavy looking door, which if asked, would've told you it was only "big structured". On the other side was a control room, with technicians pushing buttons, pulling levers, putting out electrical fires and doing all that...technical stuff you see on TV. Wrangler: Whoa... SJ: I know the feeling. Fallout: Boys, welcome to Portal Gate 1. Wrangler: Portal gate...hmm. Fallout: Ah, Colonel Carter. How's the baby humming? Wrangler: Colone... CC: Very nicely. This must be our travellers, welcome to PG-1. Wrangler: Now hold on a mhmmhmh-- SJ keeps covering Wranglers mouth: What Wrangler here wants to say is, thank you for having us. Wrangler: Hey. SJ: Shh. CC: Well i've been briefed on your situation so let's not waste any time. Wrangler: I'd like to brief her. SJ: Hey! Wrangler: What?! Fallout: Right, I'll help you calibrate the gate. Wrangler: All i said was i'd like to give her my "report"-- SJ: Wrangler... Wrangler: Get my "gear" inspected by her-- SJ: ... Wrangler: Stand in attention for her-- SJ: Stop it! Wrangler: A...no, i'm out. SJ: Fina-- Wrangler: Oh! I'd like to check her "barricades"! SJ:...you done yet? Wrangler: Yeah. Fallout: Guys! Get over here on the double. Wrangler: Oh-- SJ: Shut up! Wrangler and Jones approach the large opening window, showing a large hall with a ring-like metal construct in the middle of it. Wrangler: ...not a word, i know. SJ: Right, Fallout, Colonel, thanks for your help once more. Fallout: Just go fix this. CC: Good luck out there. As Wrangler and Jones enter the Gateroom...err...portal room, symbols begin to flash around the ring. After several flashes, a large blu...red flush of liquid explodes horizontally out of the ring, before receeding to form a vertical pool. whistles Jones waves to the control room and they both enter the ring of liquid. Fallout: Damn cat!! CC: What is it? Fallout: That damn cat jumped on the conrols. Somethings wrong. These readings can't be possib...no...can't be. The cat runs into the portal and by the fur of the tail makes it through. The cat was feeling quite proud, but soon it faded to apathy and discontent. Fallout: The readings are correct. CC: God help them...'cause noone else will. (Ok so it's not the conclusion, but it's continuing soon...er! )
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2009.01.28 17:05:00 - [543] Wrangler is such a pervert.
Vak'ran	Posted - 2009.01.28 17:18:00 - [544] Edited by: Vak''ran on 28/01/2009 17:19:23 please don't be in the story writing department of that game you are a dev of.... it would ruin EVE Come on already, after 18 19 pages of win this needs glue!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.29 06:27:00 - [545] Originally by: Vak'ran please don't be in the story writing department of that game you are a dev of.... it would ruin EVE No worries, my personal "Project Project" isnt' coming out before the end of the world anyway and what i'm working on doesn't threaten EVE I would love a storywriting gig sometime, those(alone) are very hard to come by though and usually are involved in game design. Anyway, the second episode of...season 3?...will air tonight.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team	Posted - 2009.01.29 10:57:00 - [546] Someone should lock away the cat, or Wrangler.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.01.29 16:18:00 - [547] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 29/01/2009 16:19:39 SJ: Ngh... Wrangler: My...head... SJ: It's usually less of a rough ride, ohwell, atleast we got all our arms and such left. Wrangler: What?! SJ: Nothing. Wrangler: Where are we? SJ: It's usually very-- Wrangler: If you say simple i'm going to bite your head off! The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy defines "It's very simple." as such; After the realisation for the need of crowd control, many effective and non-effective ways to achieve this were created. One of the least favored methods being the Andaran "Bullet to the head" method. On earth, the term "It's very simple." proved a very high success rate when the first battles between the machines and humans began. When in doubt, soldiers often became unreliable, uncontrollable and also really rather un- in general. At these moments, the commanding officer would often say "It's very simple." and run out of the room. The soldiers would scratch their heads for a moment, but as things were told to be simple, they accepted it via a "It's so stupid it must be true." method. As such, "It's very simple." became a norm in battle and civilian actions. Wrangler groans. SJ: What? Wrangler: I think that's a bit pushing it. SJ: ...then you're certainly not going to like...that. Sillybeardz: Hello travellers! Welcome to Ifonforge! SJ: Err...hi. Wrangler: Hail and well met! SJ: Wha..w...where'd you get a robe and a wizard hat?! Wrangler: I always come prepared. Sillybeardz: What brings thine thee here with theyne thonen ways? SJ: What? Wrangler: He's asking why we came here. Ahem. We be thy there thost come thine guests be and we'd be thine ever so very gratefulious if thine had bread and mead for ourth throatseses. Sillybeardz: Ah! For certainty thine politine thinthon. Hither ways thine tho. SJ: ...what?! Wrangler: Follow the beardy bugger. Wrangler, Jones and Sillybeardz walked up the hill towards Ironforge, thine most thilici...the dwarf place. SJ: We're not suppoed to be here, we need to get out! Wrangler: I'm on it! Down the hill, by a ferocious looking barrel of milk, a furry tabby was rather perplexed and starting to get very, VERY unimaginable. (continues, soon..ish? )
War Porcyka Hamster Holding Corp	Posted - 2009.01.29 16:32:00 - [548] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (continues, soon..ish? ) Yes please.
Kusum Fawn	Posted - 2009.01.30 00:56:00 - [549] Want! moar, moar, Ibis of DOOM, Velator of INSANITY, Reaper of DESPAIR, and that Amarr one... of STUFF.
ZMasterz Caldari Pothouse Cartel IDLE EMPIRE	Posted - 2009.02.02 04:01:00 - [550] As this badly needs to stay on first page .. here¦s a friendly kick in this Thread¦s butt

threeDspider Caldari Caldari and United Breweries	Posted - 2009.02.02 06:11:00 - [551] Originally by: ZMasterz As this badly needs to stay on first page .. here¦s a friendly kick in this Thread¦s butt seconded ^_^
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.02 07:54:00 - [552] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 02/02/2009 07:54:16 While i appreciate the bumping, no worries, i don't forget this thread Update today, err, hopefully. got a bit of work and this thing called "socialis...socili...sicil..." sigh people coming over. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Alex V0X2 Minmatar Exiled. Veritas Immortalis	Posted - 2009.02.02 09:19:00 - [553] Some say he lives in a laboratory deep inside a volcano island, watching CCP HQ through 1000 satellite lenses. Others say he invented cake. All we know is he's called the OMGAWESOMESHERIFF! \o/
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.02.02 09:27:00 - [554] Originally by: Alex V0X2 Others say he invented cake. The cake is a lie (Sorry - had to be done )
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.02 09:36:00 - [555] Interesting factoid about a thread('cause i can't write long stuff at work); The thread has 60.000 views. The thread has existed 6 months or so. That's 10.000 views/month. 2500 views week. Around 300 views/day. Now the real mindhump; 12.6 views/hour One can say, i'm mighty honored. More "interesting" factoids; I honestly forgot where i put the original CCP Shop sketches The "Guest Starring Wrangler" is a cough Melrose Place joke When first posting this, i thought it would get a few "wtf?" and a move to OOP. I'm scared of the thread
Vak'ran	Posted - 2009.02.02 13:40:00 - [556] Originally by: Sheriff Jones I'm scared of the thread Good, then write in fear Also, if you are scared - think of poor wrangler, or the cat...
Beardponderer You're Doing It Wrong	Posted - 2009.02.02 19:52:00 - [557] Keep it coming SJ ----------------------------------------------
Angel Lightbringer Caldari Dark Evolution Industries	Posted - 2009.02.03 11:02:00 - [558] 3rd page Damn, we lost it! Up up!
Kurt Talamir	Posted - 2009.02.05 19:01:00 - [559] You have to do one about the fall of BoB who would have thought this would have happened. oh ya, go Goons
ZMasterz Caldari Pothouse Cartel IDLE EMPIRE	Posted - 2009.02.06 15:05:00 - [560] /emote throws a rotten Banana at this Thread

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.07 14:53:00 - [561] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/02/2009 14:57:05 Originally by: Kurt Talamir You have to do one about the fall of BoB ding ding Eris: Hey Bob, welcome to the CCP. Wranglers currently out b-- Bob: I wish to coTHUD!!! Eris: You ok? Bob: You really need to fix that carpet. Eris: Soon. Bob: Well, since Wranglers out, i think i'll come back later though. Bye. Eris: Bye! ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Another Liberthas Caldari Galactic Rangers Galactic-Rangers	Posted - 2009.02.07 15:06:00 - [562] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/02/2009 14:58:01 Originally by: Kurt Talamir You have to do one about the fall of BoB ding ding Eris: Hey Bob, welcome to the CCP. Wranglers currently out b-- Bob: I wish to coTHUD!!! Eris: You ok? Bob: You really need to fix that carpet. Eris: SoonÖ Bob: Well, since Wranglers out, i think i'll come back later though. Bye. Eris: Bye! ding ding
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.09 13:11:00 - [563] (This space under construction) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sensor Error SensorTech Industries	Posted - 2009.02.09 13:49:00 - [564] reserved for congratulatory win RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!
Irida Mershkov Gallente Noir.	Posted - 2009.02.09 13:56:00 - [565] Jesus this thread is still going?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.09 15:53:00 - [566] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 09/02/2009 15:53:27 Updated points above My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.02.09 16:37:00 - [567] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Build your own skit by choosing of the variables, don't post them here! So... you want us all to Eve-mail them to you?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.09 17:04:00 - [568] Originally by: Mister Flibble Originally by: Sheriff Jones Build your own skit by choosing of the variables, don't post them here! So... you want us all to Eve-mail them to you? Ah sure, why not. The joke is more in the T3 thing but, go ahead. Win a prize? Yeah, sure. Best one chosen by me gets posted here and wins a reward of..some..sort. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.02.09 22:31:00 - [569] Originally by: Sheriff Jones The joke is more in the T3 thing but, go ahead. Heh. Believe it or not, I did get that. But your "don't post them here!" was obviously an attempt to avoid having your thread filled with hundreds of reader-completed skits, so I just thought the idea of you having your inbox full of them instead was quite funny.
Stan Smith	Posted - 2009.02.10 04:43:00 - [570] cant have this epic post of totl uberness on the third page can we?

Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2009.02.10 05:12:00 - [571] Edited by: Last Wolf on 10/02/2009 05:17:06 ding ding Wrangler: Welcome to The CCP! How can I.... Wrangler: Ummm, Hello? psssst Wrangler: Who said that? Customer: Down here! Wrangler looks over counter Wrangler: Oh, there you are, I couldn't see you on the other side of the... um... three foot counter. Vertically Challenged Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler mumbles: Ahhh, so he is normal. I wonder if his complaints are proportional to... VC Customer: What was that? Wrangler: Nothing, nothing, What Can I do for you? VC Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Wish granted! Please sign here X______________ VC Customer: What? Oh, ok.... Done. VC Customer: Now then, I wish to complain about this new patch.... Wrangler: Whoa now, there is a strict procedure to be followed here. You must format your complaints correctly or they will have to be ignored. VC Customer: Format? Wrangler: Yes, format. VC Customer: Well, what do I have to do? Wrangler: Please stand over there, in that circle with the giant red "X". VC Customer moves to the circle: Ok, now what? Wrangler: Wait one moment while I calibrate the laze.... I mean camera, We need video documentation for your complaint in case we must view it at a later date. Wrangler: Ok now, on the count of three, press that big red button to your left. VC Customer: The one that says "DO NOT PRESS OR YOU WILL DIE!"? Wrangler: Yeah, that one! VC Customer: I don't think I should... Wrangler: Oh don't worry about that, just a precaution to keep the camera from recording nothing. Disk space isn't cheap ya know!! VC Customer: Yes it is. Wrangler: Anyways, as I was saying.... On the count of Three!. Wrangler: Three.....Two.....One.....NOW!! VC Customer presses the big red button. FFFFFFWWWWWWWZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT! VC Customer: What was that!!!! Wrangler: Oh nothing nothing! Just a glitch! VC Customer: Why is the couch behind me black and smoking? Wrangler: Ahh... Thats the errrm... new... new effects. Yeah! It is part of the new Premium effects that have been upgraded. VC Customer: Ahh, Cool! Wrangler: Ok, I got it working now. Press the button at the count of Three VC Customer: Naa, I gotta go now. Lunch time. Wrangler: What? Really? Please stay! I need to test my new Tachyon 9000 Laze.. Err camera system! VC Customer:No really. I gotta go. Ding Ding Eris: I told you it was a waste of Isk. Wrangler: Sigh... I know... Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.10 07:00:00 - [572] Originally by: Mister Flibble Heh. Believe it or not, I did get that. But your "don't post them here!" was obviously an attempt to avoid having your thread filled with hundreds of reader-completed skits, so I just thought the idea of you having your inbox full of them instead was quite funny. Ooh i did believe, also was very serious. People should combine a skit using the T3 bit and actually there is a prize My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.10 15:49:00 - [573] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 10/02/2009 15:49:36 (I didn't quite do justice with my previous thing on this matter, so, enjoy and sing along if you can: ) Original here. Once there was this noob who, Went back into warcraft 'cause he thought that it was cool, but wheeeen, he finally came back, His, torps, had went from uber to quite light. He said that it was from when, The devs had nerfed him soooo haaaard. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. Once there was this vet who, Wouldn't go to fleet op with the pilots from his own corp, but wheeen they finally made him. They, saw, tech 1 drones orbit his cap ship. He couldn't quite explain it, They'd always just beeeeen theeeeere. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. But both noob and vet were glad, 'Cause one guy had it worse than that. 'Cause then there was this guy whose, account went inactive 'cause he couldn't pay his subs and Wheeen, he logged his main back. His, whole, alliance had went up in smoke. He couldn't quite explain it, It used to just bee, theeeeere. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. (choir) Aaaw aaaw aaaaaw aaaAAAaaawww. Aaaw aaaw aaaaaw aaaAAAaaawww. Aaaw aaaw aaaaaw aaaAAAaaawww. Aaaw aaaw aaaaaw aaaAAAaaawww. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team	Posted - 2009.02.11 13:42:00 - [574] Originally by: Last Wolf Wrangler: What? Really? Please stay! I need to test my new Tachyon 9000 Laze.. Err camera system! VC Customer:No really. I gotta go. Ding Ding Eris: I told you it was a waste of Isk. Wrangler: Sigh... I know... Hmmm.. can I get one please? I need to test it out on someone Free bump for more. :)
Cay Qel'Droma Amarr The Night Corporation	Posted - 2009.02.13 06:37:00 - [575] Oh I wish I heard you sing that _ Amateurs built the Arc, professionals built the Titanic.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.13 07:38:00 - [576] Originally by: Cay Qel'Droma Oh I wish I heard you sing that Maybe one day when i get a mic that doesn't sound like i'm singing from my mothers basement My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.13 10:36:00 - [577] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/02/2009 10:38:47 (The story continues!) For a while now, Jones had believed that there was something deeply disturbing about the way Wrangler worked. It was only after seeing him discuss the inner workings of a teleportation system, that required them to gather 400 vibrant plumes, 200 sticky doohiggies and 50 large dragon nail clippings, that he realized it was pointless to even think about it. So he patted the tabby. Sillybeardz: And 50th! thus ist thine portation completed! Wrangler: Many thine thanksies! Sillybeardz: Mine thine welcometh any parteth of timeth. Wrangler: Right then. ...said he, gazing with Jones at the large red, white and blue portal spanning a good 300 feet infront of them. Everyone ignored the music in the background about rockets and flares or some such. Except the tabby. The tabby ignored it so much it didnt even notice. Wrangler: That should do it. SJ: Do what? Wrangler: It's very simple. SJ: Ey! Wrangler: Should get us home. SJ: Should? Wrangler: What with all things considered, should is quite a positive assumption. SJ: Fair enough. Wrangler: After you. Jones, Wrangler and the tabby formerly known as cat, who was a bit curious and loathed itself for doing so, entered the portal. **whiz bang jimmyjammy zoot zoot Straangers in the niiiight....* kablowie!*** Wrangler: I'm feeling ow'ish. SJ: Interesting way to put it. Wrangler: He...hey! We're home! SJ: According to my wrist thingy, not quite. Wrangler: Then that's not the HQ of CCP? SJ: It is, just a matter of when. Wrangler: When then? SJ: About 5 to teatime. Wrangler: What year! SJ: Hmm, 2003. Wrangler: Hmm. SJ: We have to careful you don't meet yourself. Wrangler: Or what? SJ: The universe might go pooie. Wrangler: Pooie? SJ: Very. Wrangler: Right, in any case, the problem we have been ignoring is that WiS will take over the world right? SJ: Right. Wrangler: I have a plan. SJ: Good one? Wrangler: Ish. SJ: Figures, best we got i think...let's go. With that our duo went into the depths of he...into the CCP HQ. I say duo ofcourse because the cat was blowing the cover of a mossy hard thing. Namely a rock. The rock was displeased of this. (continue later...conclusion even ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Hungarian Operational Team	Posted - 2009.02.13 12:01:00 - [578] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ...SJ: The universe might go pooie. ... I hope it will
Thargat Caldari North Star Networks Executive Outcomes	Posted - 2009.02.16 01:02:00 - [579] Edited by: Thargat on 16/02/2009 01:02:51 Originally by: Sheriff Jones (continue later...conclusion even ) I demand closure. Edit: Not the Navigator kind though. Breathing 0.0
Masuke	Posted - 2009.02.19 11:59:00 - [580] page 8??? this is no goood, time to bumpiebumpbump... And please SJ... i need more... "The problem is usually found between the screen and the chair"

Molock Saronen	Posted - 2009.02.23 10:58:00 - [581] Originally by: Thargat Edited by: Thargat on 16/02/2009 01:02:51 Originally by: Sheriff Jones (continue later...conclusion even ) I demand closure. Edit: Not the Navigator kind though. Page 9?? SJ slacking?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.23 10:59:00 - [582] It's coming, it's coming Hold your horses people My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Vak'ran	Posted - 2009.02.24 16:08:00 - [583] Originally by: Sheriff Jones It's coming, it's coming Hold your horses people Horses held for 4 pages and >24hrs (forums slipping?) I demand further entertainment, up you go! ----- Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums.
Hroya Gallente Quietis Semita	Posted - 2009.02.24 16:48:00 - [584] Originally by: Sheriff Jones It's coming, it's coming Hold your horses people My mental image projector just displayed some horrific images. My soul is scarred for life.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.02.24 17:49:00 - [585] Here's a snack for you to keep nomming: Original here, play and read, you know Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Sir Pirate warp to belts and local melts with miner cry outs, Emo rage quits, Im locking you out of my cruiser shouting "Hello!" Be mellow, its your fault you came low. You lambs and i the shepard, bring your friends and your alt-kins. Teddy you gonna be cooler than ice miners son. Sippin a quafe in this ***storm. Get my thorax warm, or my dom, speed in the au. How do, hey you and you want some cake too? But you must have me mistaken with them carebears that you meet...'Cause; Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Feelin' yellow? Seven of you locked on on the display. My fleet ceptor scrammed you up, so I might pop ya today. So if you wanna warp out, to your carebear hideout, You need to whip your ISK out, price trippah, Lest you be popped by my snippas. Or like yo Chribba, mine you with a buzzard, Take you like blizzard took 10 million noobs to pay up. Say No? Hah. You got some screws loose and you wallet pretty deep. But Ill come back around 8-ish, I know youll still be scrammed...'Cause; Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Those carebear teeeears get to runnin, sweet in my mouth, Flaming me everything, thats on yo nasty miiiind. You say that you gonna report me straight to CCP. But don'cha know that ransoming ain't no crime. I pod who you are, pod who ya aint, let me be frank, I used to mine my brains out for bout two weeks, i'll change, let you ships and rigs, won't blow to bits, Won't be a jerk, run double time... hey boy! This warps a freeb. Ha ha! Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) (and we are...) the coolest motherfunkers on this EVE-net. (Oh don't cry ...) the servers's fallin aint no need to panic. (but oh oh.....) I got the hamster running on automatic. (oh oh oh...) compatible patch hidden on the attic. (and we are...) the coolest motherfunkers on this EVE-net. (Oh don't cry ...) the servers's fallin aint no need to panic. (but oh oh.....) I got the hamster running on automatic. (oh oh oh...) compatible patch hidden on the attic. Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Dont you wanna fleet with me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) Aint nobody dope as me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) All your base are belong to me, I'm the king of P V P. (King of PVP!) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.*
Aurevoir Connard	Posted - 2009.02.24 17:50:00 - [586] first reply yeah sheriif jones rocks
Destination SkillQueue Are We There Yet	Posted - 2009.03.02 09:53:00 - [587] To be continued...?
Mister Flibble eNinjas Incorporated	Posted - 2009.03.02 10:22:00 - [588] Originally by: Destination SkillQueue To be continued...? Sheriff's working on CCP time - it will be continued SoonÖ
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.02 10:38:00 - [589] (You impatient lot you Here's another filler episode) ding ding Robin: Aaaaaaaa!! Customer: Umm...hello? Robin: who are you? Customer: I'm a customer. Robin: Right, well, you need something? Customer: I'd like to talk about NPC-- Robin: Aaaaaaa!!! runs away Customer: Err... Robin: Is it safe? comes back Customer: Y..yes? Robin: Ah phew. Customer: Look, what's the deal here, who are YOU? Robin: I'm the new M10 expansion NPC guy. Customer: Right, so you're in charge of the Slee-- Robin: Aaaaaa!! runs away Customer: sigh Robin: Is it-- Customer: Safe, yes. Robin: Phew. Now, how can i help you? Customer: Like i was saying-- Band: ...bravely bravely scurried away... Robin: Oh not you guys again! Band: ...tuck his tail and fled away away! Robin: I didn't! Customer: Right...i'll come back later. Band: Chickened out and ran away... Robin: I did not! Band: He bravely ran away away!! Robin: I never! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Ooyama Caldari Rastana CMP Motivated and Determined	Posted - 2009.03.02 11:30:00 - [590] Wow,, u just keep 'em rolling SJ . No idea where u get ur inspiration (not sure i WANNA know either), but it's pure win!! "Yama".

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.02 11:32:00 - [591] Well the last one was simply an homage to one certain knight in on certain movie My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
threeDspider Caldari Caldari and United Breweries	Posted - 2009.03.02 11:33:00 - [592] hehehe I would bravely run away (away) too going on what i've seen :) Keep em coming Sheriff Jones, and I might just loan you that providence :p
Nierna	Posted - 2009.03.02 16:54:00 - [593] meh. off the first page again >.>
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:17:00 - [594] (Now what you've all been waiting for, The...conclusion!) After many many twists and turns, Wrangler and Sheriff Jones had finally entered the holiest of holy through a hole. After walking a longer hole, they entered through a hole and into a space that could've been a hole, if holes were shaped like boxes. In fact, the room was rather displeased to be called any hole, but being a being without a hole to speak from, it decided that a silent treatment would teach these guys some manners. If not, they could stick it up their-- SJ: Where are we? Wrangler: The mother frame of CCP. This is where all the final patches, latches, catches and...what am i saying. This is where all patches go through. Final checkpoint. Omega to alpha. SJ: I get it! So what's your plan. Wrangler: Right. The WiS is based on EVE right? It IS essentially EVE? SJ: I guess. Wrangler: You guess?! SJ: IT's not like i know about these things! Wrangler: Then why did they send YOU to get ME? SJ: Familiar face? Wrangler: I'll face y-- SJ: SSH! Hide! As Sheriff Jones and Wrangler hide behind a room, which honestly looked like a box, but since boxes are rooms these days...anyway, two people stopped outside the door. Explorer: I do like to tlak, alot, it's a lot like breathing, you know, talking, it's fun. Words just form lines and lines form whole segments of words and back to breathing again and when you stop talking it's like the-- Eris: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Explorer: ... Eris: Look i didn't mean it li-- Explorer: Fine. Eris: Oh come on, it's n-- Explorer: Forget it. Eris: What? Now you're just going t-- Explorer: ... Eris: Fine. Wrangler: I always did wonder how. SJ: We got work to do, what was the plan? Wrangler: Right! Well, what weapons did the WiS troops use? SJ: Missiles mostly. Wrangler: Right. Hold on... Wrangler starts to type into the keyboard, pressing holes..pressing room...typing! SJ: What are you doing? Wrangler: I'm programming-- SJ: You program? Wrangler: Used to. SJ: Nerd. Wrangler: Watch it! Anyway, i'm programming a system that will activate on the quantum rise patch. SJ: Why not the M10? Wrangler: The what? SJ: The apo...ooh, right, we don't know about that. Wrangler sighs. SJ: What does this system do? Wrangler: Nerfs missiles. SJ: What, you're telling me i can dodge missiles? Wrangler: I'm telling you that when i'm done, you don't have to. Sheriff Jones and Wrangler look at camera. SJ: Well get on with it, i think i hear someone coming. Wrangler: I'm done, let's get out of here! Sheriff Jones and Wrangler run out the CCP office as fast as their little feet can carry them. Wrangler: Now what? SJ: What what? Wrangler: We can't stay in this time! Cat: Mew. SJ: I know, but the pinto is crashed somewhere in paris AND in the future. Cat. Mew. Wrangler: Great genious! Now what then!! SJ: Lemme think! Cat: MEW!!! Wrangler and Sheriff Jones look at one disgruntled cat, sitting on the bonet of a pinto, keys in mouth. SJ: Well. Wrangler: Yeah. SJ: Let's go, i'll drop you off as we took off, to keep things flowing and then return this pinto to myself in the future so you i can get you and we can fix this mess. Wrangler: Whatever you say. Sheriff Jones and Wrangler hop into the pinto, while the cat hops on the ground and looks around, smiling. Wrangler: You coming? Cat: Mew. Wrangler: Mhm, well, guess the cat likes iceland. SJ: Who wouldn't. As the car takes off at a whopping 8.8 miles an hour and finally blasts through the barriers of time and space, the cat grins and walks towards the CCP office, singing? Cat: Mew mew mew, mew mew mew.... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:18:00 - [595] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 03/03/2009 13:24:58 Back in 2008, right around the time that a pinto trashes a street, another pinto trashes another half of the street and screeches to a halt. Wrangler steps out. SJ: Well, it was fun. Wrangler: Don't ever talk to me again. SJ: Right. Later! Before a cats mew could fade, another part of the street was demolished b a timewarping pinto. Curious enough, a time-barrier collapsing sounds a lot like a popped beercan. Wrangler enters the store, giving a loud sigh and-- ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Wrangler: Umm. Wrangler: You look, familiar. Wrangler: So do you. Wrangler: I'm not quite sure-- Wrangler: What's going on but-- Wrangler: I know i'm going to-- Wrangler: Kill someone. ????: I believe that is my job. Wrangler: Who are you? Wrangler: Yeah! ????: Well this is unexpected. Wrangler: Looks like a WoWian. Wrangler: Ooo oooooh, scythe and all. ???? sighs; One of those days....eeni meeni...you. pokes one of the Wranglers, making him, effetively, dead Wrangler: Wh-- ????: Contract fulfilled, good day. Wrangler: .... ding ding Wrangler: Right. Right....yeah. Ok. And i'm over it. Wrangler sits down behind the counter and sighs. Wrangler: Ah home... ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome-- SJ: Wrangler! You gotta come back! Wrangler shoots SJ. BANG!! SJ: Argh!!! Wrangler: Next. (Theeee end!...or is it?! ) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
AC Resonance Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:22:00 - [596] Edited by: AC Resonance on 03/03/2009 13:21:47 You got your pat on the head sherrif, please let this die now, its getting tiresome.
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:24:00 - [597] Edited by: Ruze on 03/03/2009 13:25:51 Hehehe ... ahh, I missed these. And never let it die. It's beautiful. Funny, entertaining. I love it.
AC Resonance Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:31:00 - [598] All I can see here is some kind of bizarre stage script fanfiction recited to continuous and unending, nauseating, moist, slurping sounds.
Ruze Amarr No Applicable Corporation	Posted - 2009.03.03 13:32:00 - [599] Originally by: AC Resonance All I can see here is some kind of bizarre stage script fanfiction recited to continuous and unending, nauseating, moist, slurping sounds. Funny ... was thinking the exact same thing about some other people's posts. Hahahah ...
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.06 12:16:00 - [600] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 06/03/2009 12:16:43 This is the 600th post to the thread. This being said, it's time to close the shop down and move on to new things. I'd like to thank all for supporting this, for all the generous(50mil total you cheap bastards ) donations and for fun times in general. Fear not, the shop will return one day, just for now it's going to be the last ding ding for a while. I have new things planned also. Fly safe out there and remember that Wrangler is watching...well...something naughty i bet My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.06 12:23:00 - [601] Oh yeah, one final time ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I would like to complain! Wrangler: Certainly sir! What would you like to complain about? Customer: You're closing the shop... Wrangler: Yes sir, we are. Customer: I don't like it! Wrangler: But that's life sir, everything goes away eventually. Customer: No! Wrangler: Sir...would you like a titan? Customer: Bu..bu...it's...wipes away tear Oway. Wrangler: There you go pats customer on head Don't worry, it'll get better. Customer: Says you. ding ding Wrangler: Ah well walks over to the door ding th-- Wrangler pockets the bell and closes the door. click click My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Alex V0X2 Minmatar Exiled. Veritas Immortalis	Posted - 2009.03.06 12:44:00 - [602] ----------------- http://cakematar.wordpress.com/ (epicness in rabbles)
white kight Galaxy Punks Axiom Empire	Posted - 2009.03.06 14:18:00 - [603] Edited by: white kight on 06/03/2009 14:19:25 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler pockets the bell and closes the door. click click NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you can't close the shop....... But But But you chose my birthday to announce this. I am now a sad panda
threeDspider Caldari Caldari and United Breweries	Posted - 2009.03.06 15:32:00 - [604] ahh damn it oh well, thanks for the laughs
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.03.06 15:58:00 - [605] Even if it's not a final goodbye from the shop, here's a goodbye song waves My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Frozen Fallout Gallente Infinite Improbability Inc Mostly Harmless	Posted - 2009.03.06 16:11:00 - [606] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Even if it's not a final goodbye from the shop, here's a goodbye song waves hmmmm fish!
Holy Lowlander Lone Star Joint Venture Wildly Inappropriate.	Posted - 2009.03.06 18:21:00 - [607] you can't sheriff. you simply can't
Vak'ran	Posted - 2009.03.06 19:27:00 - [608] Originally by: Holy Lowlander you can't sheriff. you simply can't confirming jones can't ----- Vak'Ran is your local official non-dedicated part-time advocate of reading comprehension and proliferation of intelligence on the EVE Online Forums.
Ram Celles Gallente Dracula Order Legiunea ROmana	Posted - 2009.03.08 11:37:00 - [609] Good Stuff ~ I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
Ooyama Caldari Rastana CMP Motivated and Determined	Posted - 2009.03.10 23:39:00 - [610] PLEASE sj,, we need moar now,,, maybe something bout the 1'st capitals stuck in WH-space or something? "Yama"

Carthag Tsimpo Caldari Perkone	Posted - 2009.03.11 00:48:00 - [611] Should be plenty of inspiration now after the release :)
PI Staker	Posted - 2009.03.22 06:42:00 - [612] Page 45? unacceptable! moar epicness! finish the bloody story!
Last Wolf Umbra Wing	Posted - 2009.04.12 07:29:00 - [613] I have no idea what page this was in (<3 eve-search) But since It wasn't on page 1 it was on the WRONG page. I know Mr. SJ closed shop, but it doesn't mean the new guys should be deprived of this awesome thread of epicness. Besides, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Niccolado Starwalker Shadow Templars	Posted - 2009.04.12 08:56:00 - [614] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Oh yeah, one final time ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I would like to complain! Wrangler: Certainly sir! What would you like to complain about? Customer: You're closing the shop... Wrangler: Yes sir, we are. Customer: I don't like it! Wrangler: But that's life sir, everything goes away eventually. Customer: No! Wrangler: Sir...would you like a titan? Customer: Bu..bu...it's...wipes away tear Oway. Wrangler: There you go pats customer on head Don't worry, it'll get better. Customer: Says you. ding ding Wrangler: Ah well walks over to the door ding th-- Wrangler pockets the bell and closes the door. click click THIS IS SO BLODY UNFAIR! Give us something new at least or I will be singing "I shot the sheriff" .. You can always retire Wrangler! Oveur can provide lot of fun too! Or something 'bout Mitnal and Navigator? That should liven things up a little too?? But closing the desk is....grr,... /clears throat. /brings out torches /gets a choir /tunes up "we hanged the sheriff" tune Originally by: Dianabolic Your tears are absolutely divine, like a fine fine wine, rolling down your cheeks until they flow down the river of LOL
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 06:08:00 - [615] It was a dark and stormy morning and the wind echoed through the halls like an echoy thing going through empty spaces. One could not really be sure what it sounded like, as if you were in that space, it wouldn't be empty. Thw ind, and more so the sound it made, was declared by the interstellar wind passers, or the I-W-P, who were very aware of the poor choice in both name and acronym, had decided the wind, when passing through the empty spaces, sounded a bit like; "Uuuwiiiuummmwhoooosssshuuuu..." with a silent g. Nobody really cared about winds in empty spaces, so they let the IWP do pretty much what they want. Now, this wind in particular was a special wind as it carried with it an echo of time, space, relativity and Justin Timberlake. It was called the Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow and it held no acronyms as it was so damned hard. Harder then any wind, shown by it's ability to carry things, like echoes. Other winds didn't feel it was "all that", but the Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow told them to not hate the Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow, but to hate the orange. It made less sense then the Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow itself, but as many things, it was allowed to continue as it didn't really harm anyone. The Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow echoed and pillowed, well, flowed mroe like it, through the empty halls and chambers of the building, through the streets and past barriers of time, place and Timberlakes, it squeezed itself through a quite a tiny hole in the fabric of everything that was, is and will be and with it's final agonizing show of feat, strength and power it gave out the messaage the Relative Dimensional Timberlake Chronomatic Flow had traveled so far to give. The message was... ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Destination SkillQueue Are We There Yet	Posted - 2009.07.02 06:14:00 - [616] Originally by: Sheriff Jones snip The rumors about your demise seem to have been exaggerated. Nice to see you posting again :)
Doomed Predator The Graduates Morsus Mihi	Posted - 2009.07.02 06:22:00 - [617] Welcome back Jones, we've missed you. The 'Fendahlian Collective' strikes again
Kuolematon Space Perverts and Forum Warriors United	Posted - 2009.07.02 06:55:00 - [618] I still can't find your application. Are you sure you posted it @ Ladistier? "The Amarr are the tanking and ganking floating rods of ~~gold~~crap"
Taradis Amarr Paxton Industries Paxton Federation	Posted - 2009.07.02 07:31:00 - [619] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Well the last one was simply an homage to one certain knight in on certain movie Oh Brave Sir Robin
Dhonner Construction Cabal Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive	Posted - 2009.07.02 07:38:00 - [620] Oh noes..... found this thread today, and notice that its over :( Best forum read i have had in ages, thanks for the laughs Jones. Hope more will come at a time :)

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 07:40:00 - [621] Originally by: Dhonner Oh noes..... found this thread today, and notice that its over :( Best forum read i have had in ages, thanks for the laughs Jones. Hope more will come at a time :) Oh not at all, it was over, i went away, but then i came like...back and stuff. So you didn't notice it there, didn't notice it go away and now didn't notice it coming back! It all balances out. to the rest; thank a yous a plenty My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Holy Lowlander Lone Star Joint Venture Wildly Inappropriate.	Posted - 2009.07.02 07:50:00 - [622] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Dhonner Oh noes..... found this thread today, and notice that its over :( Best forum read i have had in ages, thanks for the laughs Jones. Hope more will come at a time :) Oh not at all, it was over, i went away, but then i came like...back and stuff. So you didn't notice it there, didn't notice it go away and now didn't notice it coming back! It all balances out. to the rest; thank a yous a plenty sheriff you are alive \\o// _______________ Please resize your signature to the maximum allowed of 400 x 120 pixels with a maximum file size of 24000 bytes. Zymurgist
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 07:53:00 - [623] Originally by: Holy Lowlander sheriff you are alive \\o// What would kill me or Battlebadgers? Now let's get this show on the road cracks fingers click click whir whir zzzzrt! ding dong Wrangler: ...? whir whir zz zzrrrrr ding ding Wrangler: Better. ding ding Customer: I wish to-- Wrangler: Gimme a minute! I'm not evne settled in yet! ding ding Wrangler: Gees. Not one minute... ding... Customer peeks in; Now? Wrangler: Go ahead. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Lovely, lovely. What might this complaint be abuut? Customer: Abuut? Wrangler: Erhm...about! Customer: It is about these new gateways to new and exiting places. Wrangler: Yes sir, what about them? Customer: Well they are cold. Wrangler: Sir? Customer: It's hardly accurate marketing now is it?! Wrangler: You have to be more specific sir. Customer: Look. You promised us warmholes, i want warmholes! Wrangler: ...you're serious? Customer: Yes! Wrangler: You do know that they are called w-- Customer: I'm not dumb! Wrangler: Could've fooled me. Customer: Excuse me?! Wrangler: Nothing, nothing. Right, cold holes you say? Customer: Right! Wrangler: Let me just pop in the back for a while. Wrangler heads to the back. Customer: ... Wrangler comes back. Wrangler: Now then! Here you go. Customer: What the hell is this?! Wrangler: A jumper sir. Customer: A...a jumper?! Wrangler: Yes sir. Should keep you warm in those cold holes. Customer: You're kidding me. Wrangler: Certainly not sir, it's made out of the purest moronagone. Customer: Ooh, that sounds expensive. Wrangler: Free of charge sir. Customer: Thanks a lot! Wrangler: Good day sir. ding ding Eris: Wrangler? Wrangler: Hmm? Eris: You seen my cat? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Hyperforce99 Gallente Infinite Covenant	Posted - 2009.07.02 08:15:00 - [624] didn't know where it was going, but the punchline was brilliant Poor Eris... Oh, and welcome back :D --------------------------------------------- Somewhere beyond happyness and sadness, I need to calculate what creates my own madness o/
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 09:00:00 - [625] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome the the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I've had it! Wrangler: Often? Customer: Oh don't get clever with me Mr Wrangler sir, i demand answers! Wrangler: 42 Customer: ... Wrangler: Fine. Go ahead. Customer: Ambulation. Wrangler: What of it? Customer: Well? Wrangler: Well what? Customer: Where is it?! Wrangler: We're working on it. Customer: Hardly. Wrangler: Yes we're working hardly on it. Customer: You mean you are working on it hard, or that you're hardly working on it? Wrangler: That's hardly the point. Customer: It most certainly is! Wrangler: Look, we're working hard on working hardly on it. Customer: That's not an answer! Wrangler: Yes it is! Customer: Well i don't like that answer! Wrangler: What answer WOULD you like? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: What? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: What was the question? Customer: Are you working on ambulation? Wrangler: Yes. Customer: Thank you. Wrangler: For what? Customer: For the a...hold on. did you say "yes we're woking on ambulation" or "yes, i agree that was the quesion"? Wrangler: ...which answer would make you happy? Customer: The truth! Wrangler: You ca-- Customer: Don't you dare say "you can't handle the truth"! Wrangler: Ok. I won't. Customer: Good. Wrangler: Anything else sir? Customer: Umm...i was quite sure i had something. Wrangler: But you're happy with the answer i gave, yes? Customer: Quite, quite. Well, i guess that was it. Thank you! Wrangler: Have a nice day sir. ding ding Wrangler: Phew... ding ding Customer: Hold on! Wrangler: Ah c... Customer: Do you validate parking? Wrangler: No sir. Customer: Ah well, bye then! ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp	Posted - 2009.07.02 11:41:00 - [626] Welcome back SJ! It's good to see this thread growing again.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 12:17:00 - [627] Originally by: Lost Hamster Welcome back SJ! It's good to see this thread growing again. I so could...oh how i could twist that... but i'll just say thanks My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.02 17:29:00 - [628] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? MM: Jis, helly. Wrangler: Oh my, i've heard of you. MM: Have ji? Wrangler: Yes, now what is it? MM: Ai wish to bi. Wrangler: Buy? MM: Jis, that's what ai said. Wrangler: Go on then. MM: Ai wish to bi... Wrangler: Alright. MM: Ai wish to biiiiii... Wrangler: What? MM: Aim gettin to iiit! Wrangler: Sorry sir, go on. MM: Ai lost mai traan of thiiht. Wrangler: Tiiit? MM: THIIHT! Wrangler: Ah thought sir. MM: Jis! Wrangler: You wanted to buy. MM: What? Wrangler: Ahem...ji wanted to bi. MM: Ah jis! I wish to biii...a pippi. Wrangler: A what? MM: A pippi! Birk birk, firri thing. Wrangler: A...puppy? MM: Jis! Are ji dif? Wrangler: We don't sell puppies here. MM: Ji are the "wirlds largest giim univirse"? Wrangler: Yes. MM: Then ai want. Ai. Pippi! Wrangler: Look there are no puppies, the "largest" is simply a metafore. MM: Metawit? Wrangler: Metafore, figure of speech, not quite so. MM: ... Wrangler: So... MM: Sims did it. Wrangler: What? MM: Oh nithing, nithing. Jist saiing. Wrangler: Saying what exactly?! MM: That if ji are the "wirlds largest giim univirse", ji would have a pippi. Jist saying. Wrangler: ...right! wrangler storms into the backroom MM looks at camera; Some piiple. snorts Wrangler comes back and puts a puppy on the desk; "There! One pippi!" MM: Will... Wrangler: WHAT?! MM: Do ji have a bryyn one? Wrangler shoots MM. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Illwill Bill Svea Rike Southern Cross Alliance	Posted - 2009.07.02 18:04:00 - [629] Epic! As always.
Minerva IV Caldari Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams	Posted - 2009.07.02 18:12:00 - [630] Welcome back :D

Tourison	Posted - 2009.07.02 19:48:00 - [631] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Lost Hamster Welcome back SJ! It's good to see this thread growing again. I so could...oh how i could twist that... but i'll just say thanks Sherrif Jones now on Cialis
WiaBuze	Posted - 2009.07.02 20:58:00 - [632] Quote: Customer: Oh don't get clever with me Mr Wrangler sir, i demand answers! Wrangler: 42 Epic mate, Epic
Gnulpie Minmatar Miner Tech	Posted - 2009.07.02 21:13:00 - [633] Yay, Sherrif Jones is back! \o/
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.03 07:57:00 - [634] ding ding WeatherMan: Thank you Bill! Customer: Where's Wrangler? WeatherMan: The northern winds came down and swiftly moved him towards the drinking holes on the eastern side. Customer: What? WeatherMan: The high pressure of the mountains forced the clouds to move from here to over the eastern lakes where it will soak up moisture. Customer: ...what?! ¿WeatherMan: e's out. Customer: Ah. Well, can you help me? WeatherMan: The skies are clearing above, but it's uncertain to say what the day holds yet. Customer: I'll take that as a...maybe. Now, i have a problem with the sleepers. WeatherMan: Forecast for today is *pain!* Customer: Yes, they are quite tough, i know. Now, they seem to run away all the time. WeatherMan: The high pressure clouds forming in the area of the field is forcing the smaller clouds to move in a seemingly erradic pattern, where as the high pressure will be condenced at the lower areas of the spectrum. Customer: ...i have no idea what you just said. WeatherMan: Thunder and lightning! Customer: Could you speak normally please?! WeatherMan: Very...very....frightening. Customer: Ok, ok, i'm sorry. Now, can you help me? WeatherMan: The 5 day forecast shows that the skies will be clearing and we'll be enjoying light breezes and and bacardi breezers by sunday laughs for exactly 2.7 sseconds Customer: I'll take that as a "we're fixing it" and take my leave 'cause honestly, you're starting to scare me. WeatherMan: Join us next time! ding ding WeatherMan: Look out for those rain caused lockdowns folk! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Franga NQX Innovations	Posted - 2009.07.03 09:10:00 - [635] I am not a Sheriff Jones fan. Posting in this thread might be ironic, but I have a strong urge to let people know. _____________________________ Please resize sig to a file size no greater than 24000 bytes - Mitnal
Arvald Caldari Letiferi Praedones	Posted - 2009.07.03 09:14:00 - [636] WOOO SJ RUUUUULES Its just not a normal day till Arvald has yelled at someone
Zaotome	Posted - 2009.07.03 17:56:00 - [637] just found this thread and read it... took quite some time SJ, i really like your style and appreciate your effort to amuse us keep up the good work! ding ding
Trustworthy Joe	Posted - 2009.07.03 18:17:00 - [638] so sheriff, was it my post in the other thread that brought you back or was it of your own free will? _______________________ with a name as trustworthy as mine, i cant POSSIBLY be an alt Originally by: Cat o'Ninetails <-- this is your brain on boosters
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.06 07:18:00 - [639] Originally by: Trustworthy Joe so sheriff, was it my post in the other thread that brought you back or was it of your own free will? Neither really, it was the dubiously clever plan of CCP with their 5 free days. I was going to come back in August/September but...free eats man! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I demand compensation! Wrangler: Certainly sir, here's a lollipop. Customer: Ah thank you. ding ding ... .....what?! Fine! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: And what, pray do tell, is the complaint this time? Customer: I don't feel you're giving me the attention i require as a paying customer. Wrangler: I see. Customer: Quite, now what are you going to do about it? Wrangler: Well, i could do something, but i feel that as part of a money receiving company, i don't have to. Customer: that makes no sense! Wrangler: Ofcourse not, who do you think we are? Customer: Look here! I pay to play this game so you better show m the respect i deserve! Wrangler: Right. Very well. I'll fix this right away. Customer: Good! Wrangler: Your account is xxxxxxxx right? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Right and...taps away on the computer...there. Customer: What did you do? Wrangler: I gave you free subscription for 10 years. Customer: What? You're kidding me! Wrangler: Not at all sir, now i'll just do this slap! Customer: Ow! What the hell man! Wrangler: Oh nothing, just wanted to slap you. Customer: You can'tslap! Hey!! Wrangler: See, you're no longer paying so...slap! Customer: Stop th-slap! Stop that!! Wrangler: Who's your daddy? Customer: I'm out of here! ding ding Wrangler: there's no pleasing some people. looks at hand Hey Eris! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Zaotome	Posted - 2009.07.06 07:28:00 - [640] that is sooo true... give what they demand and they just want more thanks for making me laugh!

Lost Hamster Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp	Posted - 2009.07.06 07:54:00 - [641] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ... Wrangler: I gave you free subscription for 10 years. ... Wrangler: Oh nothing, just wanted to slap you. ... And again a good start for the week.
Chereadenine Zakalwe Caldari Helljumpers	Posted - 2009.07.06 12:18:00 - [642] Edited by: Chereadenine Zakalwe on 06/07/2009 12:19:32 Looks like i was away when this was originally posted..so its all a bit new to me! Now i have the pleasure of reading all 20 odd pages of it at my leisure!! GJ Sheriff! ô您&# Telling somebody you love them is like firing first in a dual. Your screwed if you miss them..
Leana Darkrider Minmatar Creatio -ex- nihilo The Donkey Rollers	Posted - 2009.07.06 14:48:00 - [643] Pure gold mate, just pure gold!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.07 07:24:00 - [644] I hope she dun get all angry like Wrangler: Eris...where's my chair? Eris: Ah, in the backroom. Wrangler: ...why?! Eris: AppleBabe moved it. Wrangler: Well i nee...where's my counter?! Eris: In the storage. Wrangler: Am i supposed to work from the storage?! Eris: Do you even work? Wrangler: Am i supposed to pretend to work from the storage?! Eris: Look, don't be harsh on her, she's just doing her job. Wrangler: She's touching my stuff! Eris: Correction, she touched your stuff. Your stuff is now in the lounge of EA HQ. Wrangler: EA?! Eris: She felt it was the appropriate place. Wrangler: It's not! Eris: don't snap at me mister! Wrangler: Look, right, could you ask her to move my stuff back into the store? Eris: Even the door? Wrangler: ...where's the door? ding ding Customer: Wha? Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! thud! Wrangler: I kinda like it there. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Lost Hamster Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp	Posted - 2009.07.07 08:39:00 - [645] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: EA?! Poor Wrangler.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.07 10:06:00 - [646] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/07/2009 10:06:59 Always wanted to do this...suun i wish i hadn't. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yes helo. Wrangler: Hello. Customer: Helo. Wrangler: ...can i help you? Customer: Yes. I ama coming to juu sir from far east. I have a huge problem. Wrangler: A customer of our Chinese branch i presume? Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Hello. Customer: I wish-a to complain. Wrangler: Do go ahead. Customer: I wish-a to complain about juu using mai name. Wrangler: Really? Customer: Yes. Mai name is Tii-Am. Wrangler: I don't see how... Customer: Tii-Am Suun. Wrangler: Oooh. Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Hel..look, it doesn't mean your name. Customer: It is! Wrangler: Yes, but it isn't your name, it's just a thing we say. Customer: Mai name not just some thing we say, mai name Tii-Am Suun! Wrangler: Yes i know. Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Stop saying halo! Customer: No i play EVE. Wrangler: No..a... Customer: You will-a change the using of Tii-Am Suun name? Great name of Suun? Wrangler: ...fine... Customer: Proud family name it be. Started by great uncle-father Ka-Ming Suun! Wrangler: I said fine!! Customer: Ah good. Now i go, have a ah nice day. Wrangler: You too sir. ding ding Wrangler: I need some co-- ding ding Wrangler: sigh Hello there and welcom-- Customer: I wish-a to complain! Mai name is Que Litey, of the Tran family! Wrangler: ... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
MotherMoon Huang Yinglong	Posted - 2009.07.07 10:31:00 - [647] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/07/2009 10:06:59 Always wanted to do this...suun i wish i hadn't. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yes helo. Wrangler: Hello. Customer: Helo. Wrangler: ...can i help you? Customer: Yes. I ama coming to juu sir from far east. I have a huge problem. Wrangler: A customer of our Chinese branch i presume? Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Hello. Customer: I wish-a to complain. Wrangler: Do go ahead. Customer: I wish-a to complain about juu using mai name. Wrangler: Really? Customer: Yes. Mai name is Tii-Am. Wrangler: I don't see how... Customer: Tii-Am Suun. Wrangler: Oooh. Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Hel..look, it doesn't mean your name. Customer: It is! Wrangler: Yes, but it isn't your name, it's just a thing we say. Customer: Mai name not just some thing we say, mai name Tii-Am Suun! Wrangler: Yes i know. Customer: Yes, helo. Wrangler: Stop saying halo! Customer: No i play EVE. Wrangler: No..a... Customer: You will-a change the using of Tii-Am Suun name? Great name of Suun? Wrangler: ...fine... Customer: Proud family name it be. Started by great uncle-father Ka-Ming Suun! Wrangler: I said fine!! Customer: Ah good. Now i go, have a ah nice day. Wrangler: You too sir. ding ding Wrangler: I need some co-- ding ding Wrangler: sigh Hello there and welcom-- Customer: I wish-a to complain! Mai name is Que Litey, of the Tran family! Wrangler: ...
Lorzion Minmatar Black Serpent Technologies	Posted - 2009.07.07 10:51:00 - [648] ding ding Mystery GM: Hello how may i help you Customer: I just killed a T3 ship and it got bugged where i got the killmail but all the stuff was missing, no wreck, and the ship was flying around with the pilot logged and we couldn't target it. It's happened to us before and we have fraps footage. mystery gm grabs shotgun form under counter shoots customer Mystery GM: The secret of the indestructible T3 ships will not been known
Texhnolyze Deus	Posted - 2009.07.08 10:38:00 - [649] Woohoo SJ is back \o/ Lets make this thread a front pager once more.
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.08 12:01:00 - [650] 5 days...

Grek Forto Destry's Lounge	Posted - 2009.07.08 12:13:00 - [651] I know I shouldn't barge in here and make one of my own, but I had an idea for a very short one. ding ding Wrangler: Welcome to CCP, how may I help? Customer: Well, I hate your game, I jumped into a low-sec system and lost my cruiser. Wrangler: ...and? Customer: I lost the game. Wrangler stares at the customer. Wrangler: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Wrangler throws EVE novelty mugs after the customer until he leaves the building. Grek Forto Yarring Blog
Texhnolyze Deus	Posted - 2009.07.08 13:09:00 - [652] Originally by: Some Advisor 5 days... He was gone a couple months so 5 days is nothing
Thenoran Caldari Tranquility Industries	Posted - 2009.07.08 14:09:00 - [653] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object Wrangler: ...? Customer targets Wrangler Wrangler: Hey hey! None of that! You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object Wrangler: Sir...this isn't an asteroid belt! Customer targets Eris in rear storage Eris: Hey! What's going on in there!? Wrangler: Wow! Stop right there! Wrangler closes storage door ding ding Customer2: Hello? Wrangler: Just a minute! Customer targets Customer2 Customer2: Ehhmm... You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object Customer2: Is that a macrominer? Wrangler: Yeh, looks like, not a bright one either. Customer2: So like, shouldn't you ban him? Wrangler: File a petition. Customer targets the bell Customer2: But...it's right there...fine...give me a petition form! You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object Wrangler: Certainly, here you go sir! Customer targets the form and begins to mine it Customer2: What the? Wrangler: Oh sorry, that's a Chribba form, made of Veldspar you see. Customer2: ... Wrangler: Here you go, a petition form. Customer2: Okay...hmmhmm....that...name...eodjh473...and....done! Wrangler: Thank you. Customer2: So...why is it still here? Wrangler: It'll take a few days to process your petition. Customer2: ...you're not serious. Wrangler: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, who knows? ding ding Customer2: Oh, it left. Wrangler: Problem solved then. Customer2: But it isn't banned. Wrangler: But it will be! Customer2: ...right... Wrangler: Have a ni- ding ding Wrangler: -ce day...pfft. later Wrangler: Hey...where's Eris? In Customer's cargohold: GET ME OUT OF HERE! Wrangler: File a petition. ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
Shan'Talasha Mea'Questa Minmatar The Perfect Harvesting Experience	Posted - 2009.07.08 15:23:00 - [654] Originally by: Atherin Gaius This material is classic. I demand a sticky! You have my blessings, and SJ as well. ----------------------------------------------- Originally by: Paper Rock's fine, nerf Scissors
Lost Hamster Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp	Posted - 2009.07.10 07:16:00 - [655] Originally by: Thenoran ding ding
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.10 16:26:00 - [656] Just letting people know that i did NOT disappear into another warmhole, just had some account problems My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Holy Lowlander Lone Star Joint Venture Wildly Inappropriate.	Posted - 2009.07.10 16:42:00 - [657] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Just letting people know that i did NOT disappear into another warmhole, just had some account problems how that is just dissapointing : ( I was searching for you in warmholes _______________ Please resize your signature to the maximum allowed of 400 x 120 pixels with a maximum file size of 24000 bytes. Zymurgist
Thenoran Caldari Tranquility Industries	Posted - 2009.07.11 12:26:00 - [658] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can I help you? Customer drags in what appears* to be a big pile of Crokite* Customer: You wanna EX-PLAIN this one to me? Wrangler: Sir? Customer: I can't refine this! Wrangler: You sure? big smile, looks at camera Customer: Ofcourse I'm sure! Wrangler: Just checking...geez...okay...let me see.... Wrangler: Ah! Aha! Found it! Wrangler: That isn't Crokite sir, it's Fool's Crokite. taps on the ore See? Fake! smiles Customer: Hang on...so I just put my lovely Hulk, my dearest possesion, into a low-sec Gravimetric site, at the risk of a whole bunch of evil people...to mine JUNK!? Wrangler: ...P-Pretty much. looks at camera again while fighting the urge to giggle Customer: So...this dumps a pile of Gneiss on the counter... Customer: And this dumps a pile of Jaspet on the counter...is worthless? Wrangler: Hmm...Flawed Gneiss and Flawed Jaspet...yep that's all worthless. taps both ores See? Wrangler: Maybe they'll make for good decorations or kid's toys, or you can try to scam someone with them, say it's the real thing! looks at camera What? Customer: ... Customer: Who's...bright idea was it to put those fake ores in EVE? Wrangler: Oh that! That was m-.....ehmm...hang on. Wrangler: high toned voice, into rear compartment Eeerrriissss! You there? Eris: shouting back Back here! What's up? Wrangler: shouting Oh nothing, just wondering what you know about those fake ores. Eris: shouting How I would I know, you made them and put them ingame. Customer: dark voice A-HA! Wrangler: quietly Thank you Eris... Wrangler: Now sir...calm down....there's no need to- incoming flying Fool's Crokite AAAHHH! ducks Wrangler: Missed! Now sir just wait a moment... Wrangler throws back the Fool's Crokite Customer: Missed! My turn! throws the Fool's Crokite again Wrangler: Again you miss, you really need to work on your- in rear compartment, very* loud* BANG! OUCH! WHO IN THE-! Wrangler & Customer turn to the rear compartment door...very slowly and fearfully Eris: bordering demonic WHO.THREW.THAT. Wrangler & Customer point at each other: He threw it! Eris: pure evil Very well... later Wrangler: So it never occured to you to check the description of that ore before you mined it? Customer: Hey it's Crokite in low-sec, I was so anxious to get it! Wrangler: Uh-huh... scene shows both Wrangler and Customer stoned into a wall with various fake ores Customer: You think we'll get out of here anytime soon? Eris: deep and dark from rear compartment Don't.Count.On.It. ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 07:11:00 - [659] (As is customary...) Lorzion: I'm painting a big epeen on this wall! Grek Forto: Oh nice! I'm going to turn all these chairs upside down! Thenoran: Good job boys, kep it up while i put jam in his keyboard. Grek Forto: Jam? Thenoran: Most likely will. Lorzion: You guys hear that? Thenoran: Stop being so paranoid. Grek Forto: Do you spell sucks with a k or a c? Thenoran: Put both just in case. Lorzion: Seriously guys, i heard something. Thenoran: You and your scaredypants. Look, there's no-- ding ding Wrangler: ... Thenoran: ... Lorzion: Told you. Grek Forto: You gusy are on your own stealths Thenoran: Bastard! Lorzion runs through a warmhole. Thenoran: Traitors! Wrangler: ... Thenoran: Look, we didn't mean to... Wrangler: ... thenoran: It's like this. U..we...it... Wrangler: ... Thenoran: That's not a healthy color. (censored) My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 08:39:00 - [660] Aaaand, one more; ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I wish to complain! Wrangler: Very well then, if you must. Customer: There i was, with my gang, hunting one of these...what'cha'ma'call'em...Ten Guys. Wrangler: Tengu sir. Customer: Right right, Tangos. now, we shot it, shot it dead even, but the thing kept going! Wrangler: Ah i see. Customer: It was absurd! Preposterous! Scallywagly even! Wrangler: When did you turn into Snagglepuss? Customer: Sorry. Now about this Thing'do. Wrangler: Tengu! Customer: Right! It just turned into a ghost like ship. Wrangler: Like the flying dutchman? Customer: Quite! Wrangler: Well it was flying. Customer: ...sure, i guess. Wrangler: What if the pilot was a dutchman? Customer: I don't see how that-- Wrangler: Oh, but if you don't go check, we can't do anything about it. Customer: Bu-- Wrangler: Off you go, go ask that nice man you just cost a pretty penny, if he's a dutchman. Customer: I...guess. Wrangler: No guessing, doing. Customer: I'll be back you hear! Wrangler: Yes yes, exit stage right. ding ding Eris: You do know you are not a "dutchman". Wrangler: I'll show them to blow up MY ship... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Lost Hamster Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp	Posted - 2009.07.13 09:01:00 - [661] SJ and Thenoran, You both brought sunshine in the cold Monday. Keep going!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 09:44:00 - [662] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/07/2009 09:48:52 ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yes i was in here earlier. Wrangler: Really? I don't remember you. Customer: I was, the thing is, i ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: ...look, i'm kind of tired of this. Wrangler: Who are you? Customer: I was just here! The pr-- ding ding Wrangler: Hell-- Customer: This bloody store keeps eating my complaint! Wrangler: Excuse me? Customer: I tried to explain it before b-- ding ding Customer: For %"!& sake!! Wrangler: For percent-quote-exclamation-and sake? Customer: It's censored. Wrangler: Ah, now can i help you? Customer: Ye-- ding ding Customer: ARGH! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: You can't! I'm leav-- ding ding Customer: Noooo!!! Let me out! Wrangler: Certainly sir, there's the door. Customer: I'm trying to leave b-- ding ding Customer: Right! I've had it with these motherfudging bugs in my motherfudging life! customer shoots himself Wrangler: ...hello there? My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 10:04:00 - [663] (Maybe we had it wrong all along...) ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Drone: zrrt Wrangler: I see. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: Well yes we are working on it. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: I know, i know. It's been on the list for a long time but i assure you, we ARE working on it. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: No need to be rude sir, we have limited resources for these kinds of things and evne so, I personally couldn't do it. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: Quite alright sir, tempers do flare at times. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: Yes sir, i promise the bug with your ships will be fixed and the bay doors should open when you're returning. Drone: zrrrt Wrangler: Yes, we'll look into that also. I agree, the ships shouldn't send you conflicting orders and tell you to stop in mid flight. Drone: zrrt Wrangler: Not at all, good day. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.13 11:02:00 - [664] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Drone: zrrrt spelling error? typo there? ^^ so you had issues with your account for 5 frigging months?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 11:07:00 - [665] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/07/2009 11:07:35 Originally by: Some Advisor Originally by: Sheriff Jones Drone: zrrrt spelling error? typo there? ^^ so you had issues with your account for 5 frigging months? Nicely spotted typo I was away for a couple of months, yes, that was intentional, but the latest account problem was the reason i seemed to go away again My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.13 11:08:00 - [666] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I am your destruction! Wrangler: Umm... Customer: I am the one they call the dark one! Wrangler: You're a loony. Customer: I am the son of despair! The ruler of destruction! The blazing pinnacle of all things unholy! Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. Customer You shall perish along with your friends, family, loved ones and all things you hold dear! I will bring forth the end of times for i am the one from which all evil has spawned from! Wrangler: Look, i get it already! Customer: I was there before the beginning and i shall be there after the end! I'm the evil one, the darkness, the original sin and the fallen one! None shall stand in m-- Wrangler: I GET IT! What do you want? Customer: My drones seem bugged. Wrangler: We're working on it. Customer: Ah, thank you. Good...err...most dark and evil day to you. ding ding Wrangler: ...hmm, what's my bnet account name... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
SupaKudoRio	Posted - 2009.07.13 14:32:00 - [667] Edited by: SupaKudoRio on 13/07/2009 14:34:48 Do do do doo! You gained: +1 internets! Have a beer or something. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can I... help... ... you? Customer leaning out the window of a titan; DD ARE OVERPOWERED!! Wrangler: Now wait just a moment-- *BOOM* Wrangler smolders; ... ouch. thundering marching Wrangler: Not again-- CONCORD: WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! Wrangler shoots CONCORD and customer. Eris from backroom: What's with all the explosions out there? Wrangler: Nothing! Just another overjoyed customer! Wrangler nudges the door. ding ding -SIG- The true meaning of CCP; Completely Crap Patches. Truth.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.14 07:10:00 - [668] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and-- AC: I'm talking! Wrangler: Err... AC: I have a voicey thing! Wrangler: You-- AC: Did you know that i can do this! jumps Wrangler: Quite, impressive sir. AC: And then, this one time, at gatecamp-- Wrangler: Sir!! AC: Oh and i know this guy who said this girl of a guy who used to know this guy that i knew said i look like almost hot and stuff. Wrangler: ... AC: One step forward, two steps back. DJ cat you know? Old school. I like school, stripperschools atleast. Wrangler goes to the back. AC: But while i don't know about that, i do think the word "awesome" should be split in to like it was... Wrangler comes back. AC: ...because it's like the word has lost all memmhhmhmhm. Mhmmm?! Wrangler: Compliments of the minmatar republic. AC: Mhmhmmmhmh mhmhm mhmmhm!!! Wrangler: Yes it is ducktape. Quack quack, quoth the duck. AC: Hmmph. Wrangler: Off you go. ding ding Wrangler: One of these days... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
D4RK 0NE Earned In Blood	Posted - 2009.07.14 09:36:00 - [669] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I am your destruction! Wrangler: Umm... Customer: I am the one they call the dark one! Wrangler: You're a loony. Customer: I am the son of despair! The ruler of destruction! The blazing pinnacle of all things unholy! Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. Customer You shall perish along with your friends, family, loved ones and all things you hold dear! I will bring forth the end of times for i am the one from which all evil has spawned from! Wrangler: Look, i get it already! Customer: I was there before the beginning and i shall be there after the end! I'm the evil one, the darkness, the original sin and the fallen one! None shall stand in m-- Wrangler: I GET IT! What do you want? Customer: My drones seem bugged. Wrangler: We're working on it. Customer: Ah, thank you. Good...err...most dark and evil day to you. ding ding Wrangler: ...hmm, what's my bnet account name... confirming i am in this post...
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.15 06:23:00 - [670] ding ding Wrangler: ...huh. Quiet in here. ...waauuwaauu... Wrangler: Guess i should just make a cup'o'joe and get on with annoying innocent customers. ...waauuwaauu... Wrangler: On todays agenda - Remove armor from all caldari ships. Should take a while to notice. waauuwaauu! Wrangler: Eris? You know Ds right? Is caldari with one or DD? Eris: Watch it... WAAUUWAAUU! Eris: And turn that bloody siren off! Wrangler: What siren? WAAUUWAAUUCRASHKERBLOWRUMBLERUMBLE!!!! Wrangler: ... Eris: ... Customer: ...ow. Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you, you bloody imbesil who crashed this this...this...THING through my store?! Customer: Thing? It's a Whaambulance Mrk II. Wrangler: Really. Customer: Best in the business. Wrangler: Really. Customer: Yes. Wrangler: ...you freaking moron!! Customer: Sorry? Wrangler: Argh...what do you want?! Customer: Do you have brakelines? Wrangler: ...what? Customer: You see i lost my brakes. Wrangler: I CAN see that! Customer: So? Wrangler: No! We don't have any brakelines! Customer: Oh. Well. Tally ho then. beep beep beep beep Wrangler: Right. RIGHT! That's it! Eris! Eris: Hmm? Wrangler: Watch the store! grabs wizardhat and cloak Eris: Suure. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Lost Hamster Hamster Holding Corp	Posted - 2009.07.15 07:24:00 - [671] Originally by: Sheriff Jones ding ding Wrangler: Watch the store! grabs wizardhat and cloak Wrangler puts on his favorite Harry Potter costume and goes to scary the bloody Muggles!
Another Liberthas Caldari Ha'Menudim	Posted - 2009.07.15 07:34:00 - [672] I put on my robe and wizard hat?
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.15 07:41:00 - [673] Originally by: Another Liberthas I put on my robe and wizard hat? Aye, original was a pun on that Wrangler has ben known to use these. Cloak, robe, wizard hat, brown leggings. No wait, brown leggings is just coming! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:07:00 - [674] Long time, no song! Here's one for you wanna-be ISK buyers Crime doesn't pay! Well...non-EVE-crime! As always, original here. Noob: Yo', man. Cheater: Yo' Noob: I'm screwed, man. Cheater: What you whining, man? Noob: CCP gonna ban me. Cheater: You let them catch you?! Noob: I don't know how I let this happen. Cheater: By who? Noob: By Wrangler, you know. Cheater: Man. Noob: I don't know what to do. Cheater: Say it wasn't you. Noob: Alright. Noob: Wrangler mailed me and he said i'm suspended, 'cause i bought myself some extra dough. Picture this, all the billions ISK traded, are laying on my hangar floor. How could I not see that he was working for the CCP. All this time he was baiting me, now i need to get the trace off me. (Cheater) How you buying isk from an uncertain fella? Now you gettin' banned and you cursin' in ya pilla'. You better watch your tongue when you talkin' to a sella'. CCP is known to use a couple of those baiter. To be a true cheata' you have to know how to play, If you can't be cool, just find another way. Never tell a soul, they might go name and shame, And if the mods come ask ya just say "no way!" (Noob: But they saw me in the chatroom (It wasn't me) and they caught me trading iskies (It wasn't me) Saw the billions in my wallet (It wasn't me) They even had the logs to show it! (It wasn't me) They saw the journal year older (It wasn't me) Heard the skype conversation (It wasn't me) Saw me take the isk shower! (It wasn't me) Now i think it's game over! Wrangler mailed and he told that they logged me, talking with an isk selling ***. Picture this, all the billions ISK traded, laying on my hangar floor. I had bought some ISKies so i could get into PVP. Why should they believe me when I tell them it wasn't me. (Cheater) Make sure you listen 'cause i got ya self a fix. Use the isk you bought and buy yourself some plex. As funny as it sounds now, it ain't that complex. Yo account may be screwed so you better move to next. They not be asking 'bout your accounts of the past. Ya see you're another paycheck, sure they won't pass. Wait with your trial: activate there. But if they catch ya trading plexes ya better log fast! (Noob: But they saw me in the chatroom (It wasn't me) and they caught me trading iskies (It wasn't me) Saw the billions in my wallet (It wasn't me) They even had the logs to show it! (It wasn't me) They saw the journal year older (It wasn't me) Heard the skype conversation (It wasn't me) Saw me take the ISK shower! (It wasn't me) Now i know it's game over! Wrangler mailed and he told that they logged me, talking with an isk selling *. Picture this, all the billions ISK traded, laying on my hangar floor. How could I not see that he was working for the CCP. All this time he was mailing them, now i'm sure they got a lock on me. Gonna tell them that I'm sorry, For the ISK that i've bought. I've been listening to your "pwnage", It makes no sense at all. We should tell them that I'm sorry, For the ISK that i've bought. You may think that you pwn EVE, But you're completely lost. That's why I sing. Wrangler mailed and he told that they banned me, buying from an isk selling **. Picture this, all the billions are now gone, people lolling on the forum floor. Now i'm starting all over, got a new account and all you see. All the years that i played are lost, 'cause i cheated on CCP. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.*
Null Color	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:10:00 - [675] sheriff jones: shlurp shlurp shlurp
Thenoran Caldari 22ND Myridian Strip Defensive Unit	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:11:00 - [676] Originally by: Sheriff Jones (As is customary...)Thenoran: That's not a healthy color. Wrangler: I'll show you unhealthy! various snarls and growls Thenoran: Wowa...just...wait...hastily starts typing on keyboard...just...a...minute... Wrangler: Get back from there!! gets closer Thenoran: Just...one...more...GOT IT! Flash of light, Wrangler dissapears Lorzion: peeking through warmhole What happened? Thenoran: gets shotgun, aims it at Lorzion Oh...you're back...I moved him into the biomass station in Polaris. Thenoran: So...any reason why I shouldn't kill you for running? Lorzion: Cus then you'd be alone in this story? Thenoran: ...Meh...good enough. lowers shotgun Lorzion: So....Polaris? Thenoran: GM System, I filed him under game exploiting. Lorzion: Ah. Grek Forto: destealths Well that was interesting Thenoran: ...YOU! grabs shotgun Grek Forto: Hey now, you can't just- *BANG* Thenoran: The hell I can't, this is EVE...and...oh...hey...faction cloak! Lorzion: Riiight....we should like...get out of here before anyone comes back. Eris comes out the rear compartment Eris: Wrangler have you seen-...what's going on? Lorzion attempts to jump back into the warmhole Thenoran grabs Lorzion Thenoran: Not so fast Chicken Little. Eris: Did you looks at dead Grek Forto do that? Thenoran: Hm? Oh, that? Yeah...he...uh...cloaked at the sight of danger. Eris: Hmmhmmm....and Wrangler? DING pause for tension DING Wrangler: covered in bio-goo HE'S RIGHT HERE! Thenoran: That was fast Wrangler: What do you expect, there are no exploits in EVE! looks at camera What? Thenoran: Can't you just stay gone? Wrangler: You first...grabs GM weapon Thenoran: Oh...so...erm...quietly grabs faction cloak...that's how it's gonna...be then? Wrangler: nods evilly Thenoran: Pfft........fine! cloaks Wrangler: stunned....WHAT?! WHERE?!...HOW?! Lorzion: notices he's alone Ehmm...errr....ehhmmm...i...uh...makes a run for the warmhole Wrangler: storming towards Lorzion RAAHHH!! Lorzion: ...made it! jumps and warmhole collapses Wrangler: ...high toned voice WHAT?!... Wrangler: ...can't....be...lieve..... Eris: Well, you were the one who wanted to limit the warmh- *CLANK!* Wrangler: Not.Now.Eris... later Wrangler: Gonna take me hours to clean thi...hang on...two in local chat? Thenoran: local gf Wrangler: OUT!!! stealthy ding ding ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
Null Color	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:19:00 - [677] this thread is soo fricken lame, hasn't this pointless waste of time ran its course now mods? If people want to write eve dev fan fiction isn't there somewhere else they can do it. Because thats what this is. EVE DEV FAN-FICTION. Null Color: Hey there Oveur, your looking beautiful tonight Oveur: Thanks, mmm whats that smell. Null Color: Its my new aftershave; Hßkarl for Men. Oveur: Well it makes you smell delicious Oveur approaches Null Color with a strange hunger in his eyes. and so on and so forth...
X3R0N Caldari Sacred Templars BearForceOne.	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:48:00 - [678] Originally by: Null Color this thread is soo fricken lame, hasn't this pointless waste of time ran its course now mods? If people want to write eve dev fan fiction isn't there somewhere else they can do it. Because thats what this is. EVE DEV FAN-FICTION. Null Color: Hey there Oveur, your looking beautiful tonight Oveur: Thanks, mmm whats that smell. Null Color: Its my new aftershave; Hßkarl for Men. Oveur: Well it makes you smell delicious Oveur approaches Null Color with a strange hunger in his eyes. and so on and so forth... Go die in a fire (Ingame of course) This thread is epic if you don't like it don't open it... Fairly simple Reading these forums is kinda like watching a car crash is super slo-mo. Fascinating at first, but rapidly becoming appalling... yet you can't quite tear yourself away!
Texhnolyze Deus	Posted - 2009.07.15 11:56:00 - [679] Originally by: Null Color this thread is soo fricken lame, hasn't this pointless waste of time ran its course now mods? If people want to write eve dev fan fiction isn't there somewhere else they can do it. Because thats what this is. EVE DEV FAN-FICTION. Null Color: Hey there Oveur, your looking beautiful tonight Oveur: Thanks, mmm whats that smell. Null Color: Its my new aftershave; Hßkarl for Men. Oveur: Well it makes you smell delicious Oveur approaches Null Color with a strange hunger in his eyes. and so on and so forth... Just in time we needed a new unwilling candidate for SJ's stories.
Bestofworst Worstofbest Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:11:00 - [680] Seems like a few people are trying to copy Sheriff J on these little exchange of wordings. ding ding Wrangler: Hell there and welcome to the CCP! How can I help you? Bestofworst Worstofbest: Hey there, I like to make one of these little skits too. Wrangler: No you will not. Bestofworst Worstofbest: And why not? Wrangler: Cause I said so. Bestofworst Worstofbest: But.. Wrangler ****s his shotgun Bestofworst Worstofbest: Alright Alright I'm leaving.. ________________________________________________ Am I an alt, main, or both? You decide!

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:12:00 - [681] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 15/07/2009 12:13:33 Originally by: Texhnolyze Deus Just in time we needed a new unwilling candidate for SJ's stories. (Nah i couldn't. Shouldn't. Should i? Ok!) Thenoran: Zzz...mm mm mm.... Wrangler kicks Thenoran; Get out! This is no place to dream about ruling here! Thenoran: Meh... ding ding Wrangler: Bloody daydreamers. ding ding Wrangler: Hel-- Null Color: Don't even start! I hate this place and everything in it! It's just a blablabla bla bla bla... Flamer Hunter: Oh boy! Be very quiet, i think i see an actual Flamer in its natural environment. Isn't it a beaut? Lets go a bit closa to get a good view. Man sneaks closer Wrangler: Look-- Null Color: No you look! If this bla bla bla bla bla stomps foot bla bla bla! Flamer Hunter: Shes a feisty one alright! These beasts can turn on ya at any time, so ya got ta be very careful. I'm going to try and wrestle it down for a bettah look! Null Color: And furthermore! Bla bHEY!! Flamer hunter: Ooh she IS feisty! I'll stick mah finger in 'er nostrils so she'll fall asleep! Null Color: Ack!! Stop that!! Flamer Hunter: Oh am in trouble now! I betta do the last trick in mah book! This should calm 'er down! licks finger sticks finger Null Color: ?!?! Wrangler: Ewwww.... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Bestofworst Worstofbest Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:17:00 - [682] I read the Flamer Hunter in an Australian accent. Made me sad, RIP ________________________________________________ Am I an alt, main, or both? You decide!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:23:00 - [683] Originally by: Bestofworst Worstofbest I read the Flamer Hunter in an Australian accent. Made me sad, RIP Meant as an "homage" of sorts too, if i remember correctly, the man would've laughed at it. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

CCP Wrangler	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:35:00 - [684] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. That's just an absolute lie, beaches have sand and it makes them difficult to walk on, not to mention you get sand in your boots. I prefer walking in forests, because trees are nice. My favorite colors are dark green and navy blue. Romantic movies depend entirely on the actresses... Wrangler Senior Community Manager CCP Hf, EVE Online Contact us If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

Bestofworst Worstofbest Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:36:00 - [685] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Bestofworst Worstofbest I read the Flamer Hunter in an Australian accent. Made me sad, RIP Meant as an "homage" of sorts too, if i remember correctly, the man would've laughed at it. You did it well, keep up the good work. ding ding Wrangler: Welcome to the CCP! How can I help you? Flamer Hunter: Hey I.. Wrangler: Wait, arn't you that dead guy? Flamer Hunter: Umm, no I'm not... Wrangler: I'm preety sure.. Flamer Hunter: Look, a crocodile! Wrangler: Where? Flamer Hunter runs out the building. ________________________________________________ Am I an alt, main, or both? You decide!
Bestofworst Worstofbest Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2009.07.15 12:41:00 - [686] Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. Romantic movies depend entirely on the actresses... I think there is something alittle adult behind this comment. ________________________________________________ Am I an alt, main, or both? You decide!
Thenoran Caldari 22ND Myridian Strip Defensive Unit	Posted - 2009.07.15 16:27:00 - [687] Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. That's just an absolute lie, beaches have sand and it makes them difficult to walk on, not to mention you get sand in your boots. I prefer walking in forests, because trees are nice. My favorite colors are dark green and navy blue. Romantic movies depend entirely on the actresses... What about palmtrees? ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
X3R0N Caldari Sacred Templars	Posted - 2009.07.17 10:46:00 - [688] Up to the top ! Reading these forums is kinda like watching a car crash is super slo-mo. Fascinating at first, but rapidly becoming appalling... yet you can't quite tear yourself away!
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.17 10:56:00 - [689] Originally by: X3R0N Up to the top ! Damnit! Now i have to..umm...looks around Err... ... I've got nothing Someone stole mah mojo. Ooh... ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I've been thiefered! Wrangler: Thiefered? Customer: Someone stolenated me. Wrangler: Did what and where? Customer: I've been the victim of a snatchanation! Wrangler: Nope. Customer: I had it but now it gone? Wrangler: Lost something? Customer: No...err...all my base are belong to them! Wrangler: Oooh, someone took something from you. Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Well that was a pointless extension bit. Customer: They won't notice. Wrangler: Right, now, what was taken? Customer: They stole mah mojo. Wrangler: Your...mojo? Customer: Yes. I just turned for a moment and there it went, out into the deep void. Wrangler: I'm not quite sure how i can help. Customer: You could go get it back? Wrangler: I don't think that's how it works. Customer: Sure it does! I was cheated out of it, you can just reach into the guys hangar and yank it out. Wrangler: I'm VERY sure i can't. Customer: Why not? You did it for that guy last week. Wrangler: No i didn't. I most certainly did NOT. Customer: Yes you did! He got his wang stolen and you went in there, grabbed it and inserted it back to his bay. Wrangler: I never! Customer: You did! Now if you can do that to a battleship, surely a cruiser is no problem. Wrangler: Cruiser? What are you talking about? Customer: Yeah! Mojo. My cruiser. What are YOU talking about? Wrangler: Umm. Nothing. Sure, i'll get right on it. Customer: Thanks! ding ding Wrangler: Ahem. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we-- Customer: Someone stole my bum! I want you to grab it! Wrangler: ...ship? Customer: What? Wrangler: OUT! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Evil Incarn8 Amarr Khanid Guard Khanid Trade Syndicate	Posted - 2009.07.17 14:33:00 - [690] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Flamer Hunter: Oh am in trouble now! I betta do the last trick in mah book! This should calm 'er down! licks finger sticks finger Null Color: ?!?! Wrangler: Ewwww.... It takes quite a lot to get me to giggle, but you Sir, are scaring my family. Long time fan, first time brownnose :)

Rachel Silverside Caldari K Directorate	Posted - 2009.07.19 12:07:00 - [691] Originally by: CCP Wrangler Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: I like walks on the beach, romantic movies and my favorite color is squirrel. That's just an absolute lie, beaches have sand and it makes them difficult to walk on, not to mention you get sand in your boots. I prefer walking in forests, because trees are nice. My favorite colors are dark green and navy blue.... that! my good friend is a lie. we all know your favourite colour is actually bacon -------------------- This sig was awesome but needs more EvE related content. - Zymurgist Playing eve online is like getting punched in the balls/gut/face....... what? what are you waiting for?
Darth Skorpius 352 Industries New Eden Research	Posted - 2009.07.20 13:16:00 - [692] Edited by: Darth Skorpius on 20/07/2009 13:18:27 Edited by: Darth Skorpius on 20/07/2009 13:17:08 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 17/07/2009 10:56:08 Originally by: X3R0N Up to the top ! Damnit! Now i have to..umm...looks around Err... ... I've got nothing Someone stole mah mojo. Ooh... ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I've been thiefered! Wrangler: Thiefered? Customer: Someone stolenated me. Wrangler: Did what and where? Customer: I've been the victim of a snatchanation! Wrangler: Nope. Customer: I had it but now it gone? Wrangler: Lost something? Customer: No...err...all my base are belong to them! Wrangler: Oooh, someone took something from you. Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Well that was a pointless extension bit. Customer: They won't notice. Wrangler: Right, now, what was taken? Customer: They stole mah mojo. Wrangler: Your...mojo? Customer: Yes. I just turned for a moment and there it went, out into the deep void. Wrangler: I'm not quite sure how i can help. Customer: You could go get it back? Wrangler: I don't think that's how it works. Customer: Sure it does! I was cheated out of it, you can just reach into the guys hangar and yank it out. Wrangler: I'm VERY sure i can't. Customer: Why not? You did it for that guy last week. Wrangler: No i didn't. I most certainly did NOT. Customer: Yes you did! He got his wang stolen and you went in there, grabbed it and inserted it back to his bay. Wrangler: I never! Customer: You did! Now if you can do that to a battleship, surely a cruiser is no problem. Wrangler: Cruiser? What are you talking about? Customer: Yeah! Mojo. My cruiser. What are YOU talking about? Wrangler: Umm. Nothing. Sure, i'll get right on it. Customer: Thanks! ding ding Wrangler: Ahem. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and we-- Customer: Someone stole my bum! I want you to grab it! Wrangler: ...ship? epic stuff man, keep it up (more "adult" stuff please ) ______________________________________________ WTB New Sig. Convo me ingame
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.20 13:22:00 - [693] ...starts naming the ships "my virginity", "xbox", "hemOREids" etc ^^
Armoured C Gallente Interstellar Brotherhood of Gravediggers Privateer Alliance	Posted - 2009.07.20 13:27:00 - [694] it still funny every time i read it =D
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.20 14:41:00 - [695] Hemorrhoids...hrhr...ooh i so could. Ahem, so, ding ding? ding ding! Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Sheep: BAAAAAA!! splat! Wrangler: Umm. Customer: It's not working. Wrangler: What exactly? Sheep2: Baaaaaaaaa!! splat!* Customer: That! Wrangler: Sir what a-- Sheep3: BAAAAAA! splat!* Wrangler: STOP THAT! Customer: Well fix it! Wrangler: WHAT?! Customer: My Sheep Shepherd. Wrangler: ...pray do tell...no no, let me guess. Ahem. You took a rocket launcher and fitted sheep in it, now you're very very angry that it doesn't hurt people. Customer: Yes! Sheep4: Baaa! splat!* Customer: See?! Wrangler: Look! takes away the Sheep Shepherd You can't expect to kill anything with this! Customer: Why not? Wrangler: It's not like it's a operational projectile! Customer: Ofcourse not, it's a rocket launcher. Wrangler: ...not what i meant...it's not firing stuff that can harm things. Get it? Customer: It hits things. Wrangler: Yes. Customer: So it's kinetic. Wrangler: Well technically y-- Customer: And it's covered in wool. Wrangler: Bu-- Customer: So it's thermal too! Wrangler: ...and i guess goes it's so "splatty", it's explosive? Customer: Yes! Triple trouble! Wrangler: Next you're going to tell me it's EM too? Customer: Well i for one believe that a sheep going splat before your very eyes would cause some EMotional trauma. Wrangler: You're kidding me. Customer: Certainly not sir! Wrangler: NO MATTER! This is not in the universe, because we never put it there, ergo, you can't use it! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! splurt! Wrangler: ... Customer: Livestock Launcher? Wrangler aims the Sheep Shepherd at customer. Customer: That's a no? Baaaaaa-- Customer: Bye! ding ding splat! Wrangler: Mother of... Eris looks around; A sheep cannon? Seriously Wrangler? Got nothing better to do? Wrangler: It's not mine! Eris: Suuure. ding ding Wrangler: Sigh Hello there and we-- Customer: I need you to fix my Roid Remover! Wrangler: ...say hello to Dolly! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.20 15:27:00 - [696] Realised i hadn't done not one song of metal, so, why not give a classic diddy for all you pirates out there! (God i wish i had the equipment to make this...can sing it too! SoonÖ?) Original here. Align! We're scanning the belts in our pwn-gang tonight. We're looking for noobs to start up a fight. There's an evil fitting in our planes, And it's faction too, you know it brings you the pain! Cloaking, On our way Warping, You will be Posting, One thousand whines! Locking, then we'll be Shooting, You will be Crying, One thousand tears! Scanning, Pirates ahoy! Warping, Pirates ahoy! Locking, Pirates ahoy! Podding, Pirates ahoy! There is no escape, we got your core, structure will fail, you can't take any more! Say goodbye to the ship you fly in! You've always been mining, but now you're paying! Cloaking, On our way Warping, You will be Posting, One thousand whines! Locking, then we'll be Shooting, You will be Crying, One thousand tears! Scanning, Pirates ahoy! Warping, Pirates aHOY! Locking, Pirates ahoy! Podding, Pirates aHOOOY!! (Instrumental, aka; lovely scene of many many ships shooting a hulk to tiny bits) Your ship is on fire, and we're ready to kill. You can't get away 'til the ransoms fulfilled. There is only ISKies on our minds, DonÆt try running away `cause tacklers on your behind. Cloaking, On our way Warping, You will be Posting, One thousand whines! Locking, then we'll be Shooting, You will be Crying, One thousand tears! Scanning, Pirates ahoy! Warping, Pirates ahoy! Locking, Pirates ahoy! Podding, Pirates ahoy! Ahahahaha! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Angel Lightbringer Caldari Nexus Shipyards	Posted - 2009.07.20 15:59:00 - [697] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Realised i hadn't done not one song of metal, so, why not give a classic diddy for all you pirates out there! (God i wish i had the equipment to make this...can sing it too! SoonÖ?) Original here. Align! We're scanning the belts in our pwn-gang tonight. We're looking for noobs to start up a fight. There's an evil fitting in our planes, And it's faction too, you know it brings you the pain! ..snip of a great part of a makeover on Seek And Destroy/Metallica.. Scanning, Pirates ahoy! Warping, Pirates ahoy! Locking, Pirates ahoy! Podding, Pirates ahoy! Ahahahaha! WooOOO!!! EPIC!, as usual Sheriff, you man are delivering each and every times! -Angel
Kenpachi Viktor Gradient Electus Matari	Posted - 2009.07.22 04:12:00 - [698] just found this thread... top stuff ===============
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.23 10:14:00 - [699] Gotta keep up with the times click click ding ding Customer: Ah and that was a model V34-X7 semislot? Wrangler: Yes... Customer: Ah nice, nice. scribbles down Wrangler opens his work cabinet and puts on CCP jumpers. Customer: And was that a side-line X34? Wrangler: ...yes. Customer: Good, good. scribbles down Wrangler goes behind the counter and opens the backroom door. Customer: A Double-edged Broadlock V453? Wrangler: ... Customer: Well? Wrangler: Yes! Customer: Very fine scribbles down Wrangler opens the cashbox. Customer: That a-- Wrangler: Yes it's a universal slimthin V220! Customer: Tish tish..how rude scribbles down Eris: What's all the noise out here? Wrangler: Damn keylogger. Eris: ... Wrangler: I don't write this s... My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2009.07.23 11:23:00 - [700] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Gotta keep up with the times click click ding ding Customer: Ah and that was a model V34-X7 semislot? Wrangler: Yes... Customer: Ah nice, nice. scribbles down Wrangler opens his work cabinet and puts on CCP jumpers. Customer: And was that a side-line X34? Wrangler: ...yes. Customer: Good, good. scribbles down Wrangler goes behind the counter and opens the backroom door. Customer: A Double-edged Broadlock V453? Wrangler: ... Customer: Well? Wrangler: Yes! Customer: Very fine scribbles down Wrangler opens the cashbox. Customer: That a-- Wrangler: Yes it's a universal slimthin V220! Customer: Tish tish..how rude scribbles down Eris: What's all the noise out here? Wrangler: Damn keylogger. Eris: ... Wrangler: I don't write this s... LOL -----

Thenoran Caldari 22ND Myridian Strip Defensive Unit	Posted - 2009.07.23 19:47:00 - [701] ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i-... Wrangler notices the Customer is covered in debris and scorches Wrangler: -help...you? Customer: Yeah, I...uh...need a Crow, my last one just...blew up. Wrangler: What happened? Customer: It blew up. Wrangler: ... Customer: Can I get a Crow? Wrangler: ...hang on...you're just gonna ask for a Crow? Customer: Yeah. Wrangler: Nothing special, weird or otherwordly? Customer: Hmmm...no, just a Crow. Wrangler: ...ermm...sure...hang on...I'll get it for you... Wrangler: wispering Eris! Eris: wispering What? Wrangler: wispering This guy wants a Crow! Eris: wispering Just like that? Wrangler: wispering Yes! Eris: wispering That's odd... Customer peeking through the door Customer: You found one yet? Wrangler: Hang on! Various scruffle sounds as Wrangler drags a Crow onto the counter Wrangler: Here you go. Customer: Sweet, now can I get various modules for Crow? Wrangler: ...you sure? Customer: ...yes? Wrangler: Err...sure...just a minute. Wrangler: wispering Eris! Now he wants to get modules! Eris: wispering This is very strange! Wrangler: wispering I know! Since when do people go here to buy things? Eris: wispering Better keep an eye on him... Wrangler comes out of the back with the modules Wrangler: Here you go sir. Customer: Awesome, thanks man! Wrangler: Yeah...sure... ding ding Wrangler: ...! Eris: Did he just...leave? Wrangler: This is just creepy! Eris: I know! Wrangler: No explosions, no stupidity...nothing! Eris: EVE is dying? Wrangler: Must be it.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.24 07:12:00 - [702] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 24/07/2009 07:14:57 Damnit Thenoran! You stole my competition 700th reply place Now i can't give stuff away. I can't work with 701. Who works with 701. I mean come on! Mary, josef and that little kid named joel, you expect me to hold a competition over a number 1? ... I know it's juvenile damnit!
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2009.07.24 07:44:00 - [703] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 24/07/2009 07:14:57 Damnit Thenoran! You stole my competition 700th reply place Now i can't give stuff away. I can't work with 701. Who works with 701. I mean come on! Mary, josef and that little kid named joel, you expect me to hold a competition over a number 1? ... I know it's juvenile damnit! Your barking up the wrong tree there mate ... IM the 700 post .. your 702 :)
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.24 07:46:00 - [704] Originally by: ForceM Your barking up the wrong tree there mate ... IM the 700 post .. your 702 :) Reply man, reply And ti's not serious really.
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.24 08:40:00 - [705] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Damnit Thenoran! You stole my competition 700th reply place I can't work with 701. Who works with 701. I mean come on! chribba missed his 1 mio post, too ^^
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.24 15:24:00 - [706] Originally by: Some Advisor Originally by: Sheriff Jones Damnit Thenoran! You stole my competition 700th reply place I can't work with 701. Who works with 701. I mean come on! chribba missed his 1 mio post, too ^^ Yei! Makes me feel a 999.300 times better! Ok, let's get back to it; ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the like anyone really reads this... Customer: I have a complaint of the utmost importance! Wrangler: Go right on ahead. Customer: I recently purchased a rifter and i'm very disappointed. Wrangler: Why so? Customer: It barely drifts at all! Wrangler: ...what? Customer: I bought it to compete in the annual Drifting Around Shooting Rats competition, but i could barely make it tilt, let alone drift! Wrangler: It's rifter sir, not drifter. Customer: Surely the D is silent. Wrangler: Surely it's not. Customer: Sure it is! Just like the Ominix, which mind you isn't at all omni tanked. Wrangler: It's n-- Customer: Or the Oomsday device, completely ridicilous as there's no way someone can oom in EVE when there's no mana! Wrangler: Isn't that different from a silent D? You know, no D at all. Customer: It is! But the writer didn't think it through! Wrangler: Ah, in any case, there are no Ds in rifter and there IS Ds in the domi and there IS a D in the doomsday device. Customer: Aare yooou suuure? Wrangler: Yes! Customer: Well fine. Wrangler: Anything else? Customer: Well not really, i was going to ask you to take away these double-D exotic dancers from me, but i guess they are fine. Wrangler: A drifter you say? Let me just modify your account a bit. My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Thenoran Caldari 22ND Myridian Strip Defensive Unit	Posted - 2009.07.25 13:26:00 - [707] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 24/07/2009 07:14:57 Mary, josef and that little kid named joel, you expect me to hold a competition over a number 1? Who doesn't want to be Number One? ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Number One: Captain! Wrangler: ...what? Number One: The Borg are attacking, we must get you to the Enterprise! Wrangler: I think you're at the wrong place. Number One: No time! We must beam you aboard now! Wrangler: Oookkaayyy...I think you've made your point now. Number One: Sir? There's no time! Wrangler: Just hang on 'Number One', I'll grab my 'Phaser' Number One: Very well, sir. Wrangler: Aaannddd....fires Number One falls to the ground, dead Enterprise: Captain, what's going on? Wrangler: Nothing much Enterprise, I just fired at 'Will'. Enterprise: Do you want us to beam you aboard, sir? Wrangler: Nah, go on ahead without m-...us, there's eh..uhmm...strange energy reading here. Enterprise: Understood, Enterprise out. ding ding Wrangler: Christ... Some time later ding ding Borg: We are the Borg, you will be assimilated, resistance is futile. Wrangler: ...ah crap... <censored> ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.25 13:39:00 - [708] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 25/07/2009 13:39:33 In a completely unrelated way, i do sometimes wonder about number two. Picard: You have the helm number one. Will: Aye sir. John: What about me? Picard: You can have....umm...you have the thing that goes bleep. John: The thing that goes bleep sir?! Picard: Yes, well...you see...number one is in control and..well...i'm the captain alright?! John: When did the enterprise turn british sir? Picard: No idea, this is off the topic anyway. Carry on number one. Will: Aye sir. Picard: Number two. Will: Aye sir. Picard: Not you, number two. John: Oh me, right right. Yes? Picard: Where's number three? John: Out sick sir. Picard: Ah, well after number one is done, i want number two out there. John: Aye sir. Picard: Number one, stop pretending to be number two! Will: Aye sir. John: This bit is a bit boring isn't it? Picard: Yes but it becomes funny when you think about it as a Star Trek thing. John: Oh i see. Worf: Captain, we have a ship on our sensors. Picard: Klingons! shoots Worf John: All this without one single poo joke. Strange. Umm....yeah. Let's just leave it at the awkward silence and move on with our regular programming. Stay tuned for a competition! With prozes My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Saju Somtaaw Gallente The Scope	Posted - 2009.07.25 13:39:00 - [709] Originally by: Thenoran Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 24/07/2009 07:14:57 Mary, josef and that little kid named joel, you expect me to hold a competition over a number 1? Who doesn't want to be Number One? ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Number One: Captain! Wrangler: ...what? Number One: The Borg are attacking, we must get you to the Enterprise! Wrangler: I think you're at the wrong place. Number One: No time! We must beam you aboard now! Wrangler: Oookkaayyy...I think you've made your point now. Number One: Sir? There's no time! Wrangler: Just hang on 'Number One', I'll grab my 'Phaser' Number One: Very well, sir. Wrangler: Aaannddd....fires Number One falls to the ground, dead Enterprise: Captain, what's going on? Wrangler: Nothing much Enterprise, I just fired at 'Will'. Enterprise: Do you want us to beam you aboard, sir? Wrangler: Nah, go on ahead without m-...us, there's eh..uhmm...strange energy reading here. Enterprise: Understood, Enterprise out. ding ding Wrangler: Christ... Some time later ding ding Borg: We are the Borg, you will be assimilated, resistance is futile. Wrangler: ...ah crap... <censored> What happened to Wrangler's rouge drones? Surely they'd work as they have no biological components? ---- --- --- Devs Sign Here; GMs and ISD welcome to :)
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.25 14:08:00 - [710] Originally by: Saju Somtaaw What happened to Wrangler's rouge drones? Surely they'd work as they have no biological components? As the summer is in it's better half, they turned more towards the magenta My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.

Thenoran Caldari 22ND Myridian Strip Defensive Unit	Posted - 2009.07.25 14:43:00 - [711] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Saju Somtaaw What happened to Wrangler's rouge drones? Surely they'd work as they have no biological components? As the summer is in it's better half, they turned more towards the magenta Do they go snowy white in Winter? ------------------------ Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.25 15:13:00 - [712] Edited by: Some Advisor on 25/07/2009 15:14:43 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Originally by: Some Advisor Originally by: Sheriff Jones Damnit Thenoran! You stole my competition 700th reply place I can't work with 701. Who works with 701. I mean come on! chribba missed his 1 mio post, too ^^ Yei! Makes me feel a 999.300 times better! good, then we can start arguing if you actually hit the jackpot with post number 701 since the forum started with postid 1 i think ;) enjoy your madness ^^ hmmm Customer: Or the Oomsday device, completely ridicilous as there's no way someone can oom in EVE when there's no mana! ultima online hmmmm
Some Advisor	Posted - 2009.07.25 15:15:00 - [713] Originally by: Thenoran Wrangler: Just hang on 'Number One', I'll grab my 'Phaser' Number One: Very well, sir. Wrangler: Aaannddd....fires Number One falls to the ground, dead shouldnt have said "fire at will" :P
ingenting 20th Legion Sodalitas XX	Posted - 2009.07.27 06:03:00 - [714] amazing read _________________ Originally by: CCP Pann I think we've explored every option just shy of sending out ninja squads with bazookas. http://20thlegion.net
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.28 06:57:00 - [715] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 28/07/2009 07:05:58 Shameless advert for my own stuff; Event Preliminary Go check it out and mostly, comment. It's very "low key, nothing yet set", but i think i can make it into a fun little event. And while i'm here ding ding..da ding ding...da da ding ding Wrangler: Peace bro! Welcome to the groovy pad of the W-Man! How can i make you chill? Customer: Err... Wrangler: What's wrong daddy-O? Customer: What's with the get-up...and the furry rugs...and the beads...and the discogeddon-ball? Wrangler: It's how i flow man! Customer: Riight. Wrangler: So how can the W-Man help you out? Customer: Wee man? Wrangler: Double u! Customer: Ah. Like Bush. Wrangler: I do! Customer groans. Wrangler: Now what's the dealy yo? Customer: Look, my drones are acting funky...scratch that! Scratch that!!! Wrangler: Funky eh? Those boys know how to par-T! You should be feeling groovy! Customer: Ngh..look, they don't work. Wrangler: Work is pointless man! Live free! Customer: Argh! When i tell my drones to do something, they just float around! Wrangler: Those drones are feeling the spirit man. Customer: Oh..oh...screw you! ding ding da ding a ling ding Wrangler: Wow. Total buzzkill man. He's stuck in a hamsterwheel for sure. Oh! Hamsters! Wrangler runs to the back. Wrangler: Run free my brothers! Eris: Wrangler! Argh! Navigator, load the "extended downtime" protocol!! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
white kight Galaxy Punks Aeternus.	Posted - 2009.07.28 09:55:00 - [716] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Wrangler: What's wrong daddy-O? Customer: What's with the get-up...and the furry rugs...and the beads...and the discogeddon-ball? Wrangler: It's how i flow man! Customer: Riight. Wrangler: So how can the W-Man help you out? Customer: Wee man? Wrangler: Double u! Customer: Ah. Like Bush. Wrangler: I do! Customer groans. Wrangler: Now what's the dealy yo? Customer: Look, my drones are acting funky...scratch that! Scratch that!!! Wrangler: Funky eh? Those boys know how to par-T! You should be feeling groovy! Customer: Ngh..look, they don't work. Wrangler: Work is pointless man! Live free! Customer: Argh! When i tell my drones to do something, they just float around! Wrangler: Those drones are feeling the spirit man. Customer: Oh..oh...screw you! ding ding da ding a ling ding Wrangler: Wow. Total buzzkill man. He's stuck in a hamsterwheel for sure. Oh! Hamsters! Wrangler runs to the back. Wrangler: Run free my brothers! Eris: Wrangler! Argh! Navigator, load the "extended downtime" protocol!! I think that the next dev blog should be written like this BTW Welcome back SJ Originally by: CCP Greyscale :facepalm:
Lost Hamster Hamster Holding Corp	Posted - 2009.07.28 10:53:00 - [717] Originally by: white kight I think that the next dev blog should be written like this BTW Welcome back SJ /Signed
Gnulpie Minmatar Miner Tech	Posted - 2009.07.29 11:22:00 - [718] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Customer: Look, my drones are acting funky...scratch that! Scratch that!!! Wrangler: Funky eh? Those boys know how to par-T! You should be feeling groovy! Customer: Ngh..look, they don't work. Wrangler: Work is pointless man! Live free! Customer: Argh! When i tell my drones to do something, they just float around! Wrangler: Those drones are feeling the spirit man. Customer: Oh..oh...screw you! ding ding da ding a ling ding LoooL
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:11:00 - [719] Update request: Accepted. ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: Yes hello. I have an issue with your produce. Wrangler: What might be the problem? Customer: It's not organic. Wrangler: ...what? Customer: I represent People for the Organic Preservation in Entertainment. Wrangler: The...POPE? Customer: Yes. Wrangler: Right. And the ethical problem is? Customer: The POPE feels that there are not enough trees in this game. Wrangler: It's a space game. Customer: Exactly! Wrangler: There are no trees in space. Customer: That's exactly the problem! Wrangler: No..n...in space, actual space, the space out there. No trees. Customer: But this is a game! Surely there's some room for space-trees. Wrangler: Space..trees? Customer: Why not? Wrangler: Because it's the stupidest idea since sliced bread! Customer: I don't think the POPE will like that attitude. Wrangler: Well you know what, the POPE can kiss my-- Customer: Look. I'm jsut a representative for the POPE, could we perhaps find some middle-ground here? Wrangler: Ngh...fine. Let me see what i can do. Customer: All i ask, good day! ding ding Wrangler: Right...right...let's see. ------- Later at EVE Frontpage: ------- Introducing: The Butterfly Effect Today we unleash a video unlike any we have done before: a video showcasing the essence of EVE. This story tells the enthralling tale of a butterfly getting stuck inside a launching Rifter. The events that the butterfly caused by flapping it's wings is... This is "The Butterfly Effect." This is your EVE. More + My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Bestofworst Worstofbest Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2009.07.31 13:14:00 - [720] Ah what a great way to start off the morning. And gave me a great metaphor for the Butterfly effect video. The butterfly is the wolf, and he happens to warp in on a miner, an alliance blob warps in the belt, kills you, the pirates and the miner. You're back in highsec Eve Online: Where the butterfly gets stuck in a spiders web. ________________________________________________ Am I an alt, main, or both? You decide!

Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.08.04 12:28:00 - [721] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 04/08/2009 12:32:30 And now...season finale of CCP Shop! ding ding Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you? Customer: I'm a fan. Wrangler: Ah good, i was feeling a bit hot. Customer: A fanatic you moron! Wrangler: Ah, the church of everdying sun is across the pond there. Customer: A person who likes EVE very very much!! Wrangler: Ah....really? Customer: Yes! Wrangler: Fine, fine. What can i do you for? Customer: I'm a fan and i was planning on going to fanfest this year. Wrangler: We-- Customer: Don't even try it. Wrangler: Go on. Customer: You're demanding we give you picture IDs! Wrangler: Sure are sir. Customer: Why?! Wrangler: We need to make sure it's you sir. Customer: But...why on earth do you need to know it's me? Wrangler: Age thing sir. Customer: What age thing? Wrangler: Need to make sure all the wom...people are of legal age. For...drinking...purposes. Yeah. Customer: You already have that info on my subscription. Wrangler: But people lie sir. Customer: Lie?! Wrangler: Well we do. Customer: What?! Wrangler: Nothing sir. Customer: But wouldn't a normal ID rpove my age as well? Wrangler: Our bars have a very strict Your Face policy. Customer: A what policy?! Wrangler: No face, no drinks. Customer: Look, i don't have a picture ID and i want to go to the fanfest! Wrangler: Surely you have some ID? Drivers license? Customer: No car. Wrangler: Student ID? Customer: Not in school. Wrangler: Regular ID? Customer: No life! Wrangler: Ah. Customer: So?! Wrangler: Well i'm afraid to say that you're goo out of pod sir. Customer: So you're saying you can't help me? Wrangler: Afraid not sir. Customer: Well we'll see about that! ding ding Wrangler: That nice sir left his bag. bleep bleep Wrangler: And it's bleeping. bleep bleep Wrangler: Like a...a...eris? Eris: Yeah? Wrangler: What bleeps? bleep bleep Eris: The fanbase when it's patch day? Wrangler: Wouldn't fit in a bag. bleep bleep Eris: A clock? Wrangler: Bit louder then a clock. Eris: A bo- KABOOMIE!! My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
ForceM Gallente POS Builder Inc. Silent Requiem	Posted - 2009.08.04 13:14:00 - [722] Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 04/08/2009 12:32:30 And now...season finale of CCP Shop! Like hell its not!!!! you cant leave us hanging there !!!!!! -----
Lost Hamster Hamster Holding Corp	Posted - 2009.08.04 13:27:00 - [723] Edited by: Lost Hamster on 04/08/2009 13:27:07 Originally by: Sheriff Jones Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 04/08/2009 12:32:30 And now...season finale of CCP Shop! I hope Season 2 start this week, with a new Guest star.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.08.04 13:28:00 - [724] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 04/08/2009 13:28:33 It's actually end of season 2 Epic Journey of W-man and SJ was the end of first. I think In any case, just a tiny break and a reminder to myself mroe then anything. Not going to be a half year one My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Leana Darkrider Minmatar Creatio -ex- nihilo The Donkey Rollers	Posted - 2009.08.04 13:40:00 - [725] Last one was again pure gold SJ!! Can't wait till next season ______________________________________ If only EVE could cook, if only....
Angel Lightbringer Caldari Nexus Shipyards	Posted - 2009.08.04 15:49:00 - [726] Edited by: Angel Lightbringer on 04/08/2009 15:54:39 Owww end of season.. Could we get reruns? I'll have to randomly click a page for this, I guess. Thanks for all the cheers and laughters Sheriff thumbs up We'll be here waiting. Well, I know I will! -Angel
Sheriff Jones Amarr Clinical Experiment	Posted - 2009.08.13 09:57:00 - [727] Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 13/08/2009 09:57:53 Well seems the GD needs a bit of a giggle, so onwards to the next season! din-- ????: zrrt...el...zrrt...swiiiuuu...zrrt...can yo...zrr...damnit...zrrwiiuuu...hello? What the? Who is this? ????: Ah good you can hear me. Yeah? ????: Let me introduce myself, i'm Doctor Jones Doctor..Jones? Doctor Jones: Yes, i'm from the Jones Testing Facility in an undisclosed location. So, what do you want? This is my thread. Doctor Jones: Well i saw that there was a slight mishap in the CCP Shop, i thought i'd offer my services as a temporary thread filler What kind of services exactly? Doctor Jones: You see, we here at Jones Testing Facility have been experimenting on several new inventions, and i thought i'd share some of these prototypes with you and your friends until the Shop is up and running, or limping...or...well...crawling without legs. I..guess. So, how would this work? Doctor Jones: Well technically i'll just take over. You'll give it back when i need it right? Doctor Jones: ...umm...sure? Not really convinced here. Doctor Jones: Ok ok fine, i promise. Cross your pod and hope to die? Doctor Jones: Yes. Stick a dominix in your eye? Doctor Jones: Yes! In your bum and you won't cry? Doctor Jones: What?! Nothing. Fine, you can take over for now. Doctor Jones: Excellent! I'll just transfer the thread controls over here. Right. I'm off to the pub. ding ding My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Leana Darkrider Minmatar Creatio -ex- nihilo The Donkey Rollers	Posted - 2009.08.13 10:01:00 - [728] welcome back SJ ______________________________________ If only EVE could cook, if only....
Doctor Jones	Posted - 2009.08.13 10:06:00 - [729] zrrt! Hi there! And...i guess welcome? Yes. Welcome. I'm Doctor Jones and while the CCP Shop is being renovated, i'll be bringing you the newest, most exticement, most innovativenestes...well stuff. Let's get right to it. You know when you're out there on the belt, mining along and doing your crossword puzzles? Now after a while you notice, hey, my miner stopped. What gives? then you see that your cargo is filled with delicious rocks, yet you didn't notice that the miners automatically shut down when the cargo is full. We here at Jones Testing Facility have a solution for you! We took a simple miner I and added a new "mini charge" slot into it. We had several ideas on what to place there, but finally one of our interns, rest in peace Tim, came up with the Alarm Rock. This tiny device goes straight into your miner and if the mining equipment notices that the cargo is full, the Alarm Rock notifies the pilot with a pleasant tune. This way, your minig endeavours are optimized to the fullest! We should note that it's still in the prototype phase, and after the initial test, Tim...rest in peace...was turned into biomass by the frequency of the alarm. But i'm sure we'll get it all fixed up before launch! I think... Anyway, thanks for listening and i hope to see you next time! Roger no! ...you can't set the crystal that way, you'll incinerate the whole wormhole! Apologies, have to dash! zrrt!
Doctor Jones	Posted - 2009.08.14 08:48:00 - [730] zrrt! Hi there! Welcome to another edition of ...well...i don't really have a name for it, but let's get on with it anyway. This time we've got a live feed for you, coming straight from an asteroid belt. We've got our lab assistant Pete out there in some digdugging endeavors. Pete, can you hear us? Pete: Sure can D! Stop calling me that. Pete: Sure thing D-Dog! And D-Dog! Pete: Sure thing Doc! ...are you in place? Pete: Sure am! i've got the new tri-mine droids out there, ripping out that wonderful veldspar! It's awesome! I see from my scanner that things seem quiet for now, i'll return to you shortly. Pete: Sure thing DJ! Grr...now, what we've done here is we've taken a regular mining drone, a hornet drone, stripped them apart and made a hybrid. We actually have a mining drone capable of defending itself. Ah i see there's some pirates approaching Pete. Pete, do you see them? Pete: Sure do D-rito! I'm changing the miners from mine to FREAKIN OWN! setting. I told you to change that setting to attack! Pete: It sounds way more awesome! The drones are attacking the pirates and...OOH! There goes one. The others are retreating! Wonderful. It seems we have a succesful field test. Pete: Sure do. Out of Ds? Pete: Nah, jsut messing with ya Count Docula! ...right. Now, change the drones back to mining to finish the test. Pete: Will do D-Meister!..will...hmm. What is it? Pete: Seems the drones don't want to mine anymore. Bummer. What? Pete: Dude, seems they're happy destroying things. Awesomely weird. They do like to lock my ship for funsies. Umm Pete... It's cool D-Pad! They just want to make a few repairs on my ship! Pete... Pete: Dude you should see these lights! Oh! That was a bit close to the **pit. Get out of there Pete! ... Pete? ... Ahem. Well, umm, thanks for listening again and...well...i have to just do a little paperwork now. See you next time! zrrt

threeDspider Caldari Caldari and United Breweries The Firm.	Posted - 2009.08.14 11:04:00 - [731] hehehehe good stuff
Despaxas	Posted - 2009.08.14 13:55:00 - [732] I am so glad I only now just discovered this thread, I have missed the repeated dissapearences of Sheriff/Doctor Jones! Yay me! Keep em coming :)
Antihrist Pripravnik Gallente Scorpion Road Industry The Ascendent Dominion	Posted - 2009.08.19 11:30:00 - [733] Sheriff, wipe the "dust" off your keyboard and address this new situation 100s of pages in General Discussion are just begging you
Antihrist Pripravnik Gallente Scorpion Road Industry The Ascendent Dominion	Posted - 2009.08.19 11:36:00 - [734] Edited by: Antihrist Pripravnik on 19/08/2009 11:36:28


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