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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 9 post(s) |
Skrypt
Gallente Shinra Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2006.08.07 16:33:00 -
[361]
Yarrr!!
Thank you for taking the time to entertain the EVE community at large. I just found and read all of your postings today and I must say I am very impressed. Your command in writting is very admirable and gripping. =)
I do hope to see a large gathering one day behind your ship of all us fanbois follow you, warding off all those who want to do weird things with your frozen and lifeless corpse. EVE Event in the making?
Welcome to the south. Yarrr! ___________
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Ogdru Jahad
Amarr Ultra Renegades Group
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Posted - 2006.08.07 18:17:00 -
[362]
very nice :) great reading. Great Quotes...
URG thrash > building a freighter with a hulk mining kinda reminds me of mining for a apoc in a ibis
INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE > Your mother is an Exotic Dancer and your Sister works |
Jim McGregor
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.08.07 18:23:00 -
[363]
66000 reads...
--- Eve Wiki | Eve Tribune | Eve Pirate |
Krayd Devre
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Posted - 2006.08.07 20:42:00 -
[364]
I wish you good luck on your quest INNOMINATE! I will wait in excitement for new tales.
As many have said before me you have an amazing way with words, keep up the most entertaining thread ever!
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bugalow bill
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Posted - 2006.08.07 23:16:00 -
[365]
who dosent like to ride the bumper boats?
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Adoro
Caldari Reunited
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Posted - 2006.08.07 23:30:00 -
[366]
And again, cant wait for the next part :)
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Sharmina
ANZAC ALLIANCE Miners With Attitude
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Posted - 2006.08.08 00:12:00 -
[367]
Waiting eagerly for every post.
The iron fist in a velvet glove R |
Tianna Iscariot
Tactical Solutions Inc.
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Posted - 2006.08.08 05:01:00 -
[368]
Originally by: Skrypt
I do hope to see a large gathering one day behind your ship of all us fanbois follow you, warding off all those who want to do weird things with your frozen and lifeless corpse. EVE Event in the making?
For some reason that brings up images of Forrest Gump running through the desert with his entourage.
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INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
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Posted - 2006.08.08 09:37:00 -
[369]
Cryogenics
I slowly reclined in the leather executive chair in my shuttle and began to wonder over the marvels (and marvel over the wonders) that I had seen so far. My time in the North had been very enjoyable and I had met an intriguing mixture of characters along the way. I sipped on my cool drink and began to study the map to select my new destination.
I had heard that two blisteringly exciting southern areas of the EVE universe were called "Curse" and "Stain". I wasn't quite sure which of these words intimidated me more so I decided there and then, that I would decide where and when, when i had reached where I would reach, when I had reached it then....
What I am trying to say, in my discombobulating linguistic trickery, is that I had absolutely no idea where I was going, or how I was going to get there. I did the sensible thing and decided that I would plot a course to a 0.1-0.4 station in empire space.
This would mean that I would be much closer to "the south" and could then, after having moved my clone, proceed to plot another course around the high-security areas, in order to reach my glittering destination.
I undocked and set a 20-jump course to the system Taisy, which has a security rating of 0.3. According to the map, which I now knew could be sorted by "medical", there was a system adjacent to Taisy (also 0.3) which would allow me to move my clone there. Now all I needed to do was to get there...
The beginning of my thrilling new journey went very smoothly and I was not attacked by a single person. Perhaps the locals had finally accepted that I was a man of perseverance and determination and would not be stopped by something as trivial as being brutally shot dead.
The journey went so smoothly, in fact, that after 8 jumps I even decided to go slightly off course to collect a frozen corpse that was dangling in space behind one of the gates.
Link
I paused for a moment to speculate on how this unfortunate traveller had met their nasty end. I would never know. I re-focused my mind and pressed on..
As I continued in my enjoyable journey, I began to see more and more gruesome corpses, dangling suspiciously by the gates, with an ever-increasing regularity. After I had broken the taboo and collected the first one, the next 3 were easy..
Link
I jumped into the final 0.0 system, adjacent to Taisy, and was surprised to see that there were 16 people in Local.
Naturally, I arrived at the logical conclusion that this was a party of tree-hugging pacifist miners who were peacefully collecting Hedbergite samples in one of the asteroid belts. I decided that I would resolutely believe that there were not 16 evil and heartless people waiting at the gate I was now heading to and that my bitter death was absolutely not imminent...
I came out of warp at the gate, a mere 15km from paradise, and this was what I saw:
Link
As I began to wonder why a group of peaceful miners would be camping the gate to Taisy, surrounded by combat drones and an assortment of frozen corpses, I noticed that my shield was being depleted and that I was somehow in the process of dying. I cursed the manufacturer of the clearly malfunctioning mining laser that was now reducing my armour and structure to obliterated metallic shreds.
A few seconds later I had been podded and was back where I started, 20 jumps up in the North. I opened my own killmail and chuckled as I read that two of the dead bodies in my cargo had been destroyed in the "accident".
However, my laughter soon turned to depression and a series of shivers ran up and down my spine as I realised that, in a poetic twist of fate, my own frozen corpse had spookily joined the other two...
(to be continued....)
The 0.0 Experiment |
Fr3nzi
Caldari UK Corp Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2006.08.08 10:20:00 -
[370]
Just imagine how much that frozen corpse would go for
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Heptameron
Gallente Octavian Vanguard RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.08 10:33:00 -
[371]
wow, not much else i can say 'cept wow.....
ok i can, excellent read bud... puts my attempts to shame. Keep it up and keep us all entertained. ---------------------------------------------- We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by |
Reggaeman
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Posted - 2006.08.08 12:01:00 -
[372]
keep the stories comming, it's fun reading
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Vaen Tairin
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Posted - 2006.08.08 12:25:00 -
[373]
great read good luck on continuing your 'Journey to the South'
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Kai Lae
Gallente Shiva Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2006.08.08 13:09:00 -
[374]
Edited by: Kai Lae on 08/08/2006 13:10:34
Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
As I began to wonder why a group of peaceful miners would be camping the gate to Taisy, surrounded by combat drones and an assortment of frozen corpses, I noticed that my shield was being depleted and that I was somehow in the process of dying. I cursed the manufacturer of the clearly malfunctioning mining laser that was now reducing my armour and structure to obliterated metallic shreds.
A few seconds later I had been podded and was back where I started, 20 jumps up in the North. I opened my own killmail and chuckled as I read that two of the dead bodies in my cargo had been destroyed in the "accident".
However, my laughter soon turned to depression and a series of shivers ran up and down my spine as I realised that, in a poetic twist of fate, my own frozen corpse had spookily joined the other two...
Morsus Mihi welcomes you to M-O where most people who are not morsus mihi go to die, horribly :) Shiva Killboard Record of this Death
Some advice.
1. Don't try to exit through M-O. That annoys us. Or enter for that matter. 2. Don't go through tribute period. I'm frankly very suprised you made it that far. To do so from venal you would have had to cross both D7 and H-W, which is currently a full scale war zone against TCF. Your odds of reaching your destination are akin to the snowball surviving in hell.
Other than that interesting account :)
Raptor and Ares Fix |
INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
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Posted - 2006.08.08 13:28:00 -
[375]
Casualties Of War - Part 1
Not to be deterred by my earlier death at the hands of a rogue mining laser that looked suspiciously like a cruise missile, I had resolved to make another attempt to reach the holy land of Taisy and was reminded of a classic Victorian 1892 song:
Taisy Taisy, Give me safe passage do! I'm half crazy, The gate camp won't let me through!
I decided that since it was now 2 minutes after EVE had come back up from the daily server shut-down, I would probably now stand the best chance of breaching the defences....
I left PF-QHK and set off along the same course I had followed an hour or so ago.
Two easy jumps later and Local looked like this:
Link
Gasp! I was being given another opportunity to collect the 3.2 million isk bounty by killing the evil Thaard. Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me something.
Although it was very tempting to steam towards him in my miniature shuttle, making vague and unintelligible threats, I decided that the job at hand was more important and I valiantly pushed on towards Taisy.
Another 13 jumps or so and I entered one of the systems I had passed through earlier (which had been empty at the time) and all of a sudden I was being shouted at by a pilot near the gate.
Link
Well naturally I did the only sensible thing I could do and ignored him. This was clearly yet another attempt to collect my frozen corpse and I was having none of it. I bravely evaded him and jumped through the gate, surely to my impending safety...
After having passed through the portal, my autopilot was suddenly not functioning and I was hovering in space with a multitude of dazzling and flashing lights before my n00b eyes.
I felt like the star of the movie "Close Encounters Of The Third Kind" who, at the end of the film, had clambered over a massive mountain in order to stand before a magnificent display of twirling illumination and unusual sonic delights, emanating from strange and wondrous alien ships.
Link
There were an astonishing FIFTY pilots in Local and my ship was now being destroyed fast with all the heavy gunfire. I began to suspect that within moments I would once more be dead and back in Venal.
In a split-second I hatched an ingenious plan: I decided to make an exclamation of shock and awe, cleverly designed to cause all 50 pilots to stop firing at me.
I wondered how many thousands of people in the history of EVE had died after randomly encountering such a large gate-camp. I suspected it was a very big number. I also wondered how many different things these valiant fallen travellers had said, out of desperation, in a futile attempt to save their ships and lives, as they were being mercilessly gunned down.
If only they had known that the most effective way to cause 50 people to instantly stop firing was to say this:
Link
Surprisingly, it worked...
Evidently, my exclamation had indicated to these people that I really did not care who they were, or indeed why they were shooting at me, and that their 50-man gatecamp was irrelevant to a fearless n00b like myself. They had no choice but to conceed defeat.
A man in a shuttle had singlehandedly conquered an entire batallion of war-hardened long-term pilots. My heart was racing uncontrollably.
"What is this?" - I demanded, in a state of growing confidence.
"This is a war!" - shouted a hardened soldier of fortune from somewhere on the battlefield.
(I could have sworn I heard him add "Sir" at the end of his statement, as a mark of his new found fear and respect for me.)
"Ooooh" - I replied, as several deadly warheads forcefully exploded in the distance.
(to be continued...)
The 0.0 Experiment |
Skrypt
Gallente Shinra Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2006.08.08 13:59:00 -
[376]
:) Great read! Thanks again, mate! I can't wait for the next to come. ___________
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firepup82
Caldari FinFleet Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2006.08.08 14:19:00 -
[377]
OMG!!! This is great!
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Kai Lae
Gallente Shiva Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2006.08.08 14:28:00 -
[378]
You jumped into D7 didn't you. I just warned you that wasn't a good idea. And actually, recently 50 isn't that many. It was 300+ on saturday.
Raptor and Ares Fix |
Makran
Caldari Lords of Andromeda SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.08 14:31:00 -
[379]
Just brilliant! Keep it up, and good luck!
===== Space-Ninjas are mammals too. |
Jali Prince
Minmatar
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Posted - 2006.08.08 16:41:00 -
[380]
I await your pleasure, oh master of the bard. I too have experienced the pod kill and wondered at what made them do it? I now feel that to brave the great 0.0, I would need to meet a mighty duck and hopefully take some muffins along the way. And if the christians come along well.... I would have to dance my way out of that. Lets hope the gate camp...ers (ooo I say! missus!) get out of the way of the big migrate to the south.
All my love and kisses
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PimpstA
Mining Specialists Inc Distant Star Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.08 17:27:00 -
[381]
Simply brilliant, i'll be keeping track of ya adventure!
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Yukami Kido
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Posted - 2006.08.08 17:30:00 -
[382]
i love this. its a great idea and makes me want to go to 0.0 too. gl in the future and please keep posting i love this story
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Joerd Toastius
Octavian Vanguard
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Posted - 2006.08.08 17:31:00 -
[383]
I did try to warn you...
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INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
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Posted - 2006.08.08 19:52:00 -
[384]
Casualties Of War (Part 2)
I stood there, amid an almighty bloodbath, and in that one fleeting moment, I had felt invincible. I was like a young Clark Kent, awakening to the realisation that deep inside there was a Superman, just waiting for his chance to shine.
I felt like an immortal amongst men and as I surveyed the battlefield that I had just conquered, I knew that I would never again live in fear of gate-camps.
I decided that I would take advantage of this very pleasant and extremely unusual lack of my own death by informing the combatants that I was going to grab a cup of tea and would watch the gritty conflict from a safe distance.....
Perhaps this was a surprising (and some would argue very cheeky) thing to say considering that I had no idea who these people were, and bodies were being mercilessly blown to pieces all around me. Nonetheless, I felt untouchable at that moment and I wanted to take full advantage of it.
Besides, tea must always take precedence over war....
Astonishingly, these brave warriors were more than happy to accomodate my voyeuristic suggestion and they politely ushered me out of the bloody warzone, to take my place as a neutral observer.
I began to feel that these were noble fighters who held the concepts of honour and justice aloft like a blazing torch in a desert of despair. I still didn't know who they were, but I had decided that I liked them.
I was instructed to warp to a safe position, so I quickly went to a random asteroid field and then set a bookmark in deadspace and stayed there while I made my tea...
A few minutes later I had returned with my beverage and I wanted to get a closer look at the bloody fighting. Some of the soldiers suggested that I move to the maximum "warp-in-able" distance away, which was 100km. They also added that 200km would be much more preferable.....
Link
I did indeed warp to 100km and found myself being promptly shot at. An almighty surge of adrenalin rushed through my veins and I quickly escaped back to my safespot.
I noted that some of the fifty pilots were from Eastern Europe and while these gallant mercenaries were unloading turret after turret of razor-sharp shrapnel at the enemy, I eagerly interrupted them, to urgently inform them of the following:
Link
I was confident that I was putting up a good front at "playing it cool" by showing this batallion that I was entirely unrattled by the gruesome realities of war. I did so by having an entirely pointless and random discussion about a friend who lives in Yugoslavia, in order to hide the fact I was having serious bowel-control issues at the mayhem and carnage that was taking place around me...
I wanted to learn more about why this war was occurring, so I asked the squadron of valiant soldiers for additional information.
I was helpfully informed that they were engaged in a bitter conflict with an enemy that was fond of dairy products, was often prone to accept defeat easily and was a distant cousin of the human race:
Link
Naturally I was confused by this shocking revelation and I attempted to move in for a closer look at the raging hostilities. My plan was to warp to 100km from the gate and then to manually fly out to around 200km, thus ensuring my safety.
This was the result:
Link
A few seconds later, I awoke once more in Venal, having become an accidental casualty of war. I couldn't help but feel like Bill Murray in that classic movie "Groundhog Day".
My Evemail was flashing and I could see that I had received a top-secret message from one of the soldiers on the battlefield. A great sense of excitement overcame me as I began to read the shocking contents...
(to be continued.....)
The 0.0 Experiment |
DanFraser
OCForums
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Posted - 2006.08.08 20:41:00 -
[385]
OMG! MOAR!
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Zzink
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Posted - 2006.08.08 21:39:00 -
[386]
"wow this is cool"
priceless
so what books have u had published?
Great read, keep it comming
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Jastra
Gallente Brightstar Industries
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Posted - 2006.08.08 22:10:00 -
[387]
awesome stuff :)
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Draximus Cane
Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2006.08.08 22:19:00 -
[388]
Superb, best thread ive read in 3 years
Blog bookmarked, if you find yourself in Period Basis look me up -------------------------------------------------
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coldplasma
Killson Corp HUZZAH FEDERATION
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Posted - 2006.08.08 22:43:00 -
[389]
Noob characters don't stand out in 0.0, there are always noob corp alts floating around. ____________________________
See you in 0.0 kids... |
Ituralde
Fate.
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Posted - 2006.08.08 22:51:00 -
[390]
Sorry about the taisy gig mate, soon as I recognized you from the forums I tried to get my gang to hold fire - we had landed there as part of a moving gang. You were popped by those static camping the gate - sadly they weren't on our ts
Fear is the mind-killer. |
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