| Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 [18] 19 20 30 40 50 60 .. 60 :: one page |
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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 9 post(s) |
Buraken v2
Amarr
Amarr Defence Initiative
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Posted - 2006.08.17 19:58:00 -
[511]
I concluded that Condors were like buses: You wait ages for one and then 16 all turn up at once.
So true I feel disgusted.
 Quote:
Mail from: Houvire Takaerne
2006.06.06 19:25
Our research has been fruity. If you're interested, I believe I have found what might be a banana in the corner of my office draw.
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Centurin
Sturmgrenadier Inc
R i s e
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Posted - 2006.08.17 21:10:00 -
[512]
It's a shame he is heading south instead of west. I have no chance of ever meeting him. 
-----------------------------------------------
"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings" - Optimus Prime |
E'Veel P'Tiga
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Posted - 2006.08.17 23:44:00 -
[513]
Well after spending a few hours reading through this entire thread all I can say is I have never laughed so hard in my life...well...except that time I watched a George Carlin DVD on acid with a few buddies, many years ago.
I've never been to 0.0 and always wondered what it's like. Through your story I've learned more about the EVE universe than the month or so that I've played. Just a great story. Keep it coming.
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darklegionca
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Posted - 2006.08.18 00:20:00 -
[514]
i agree this needs to be stickyed
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Gunner Stahl
RONA Corporation
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Posted - 2006.08.18 01:16:00 -
[515]
Best. Thread. Ever.
This shall go down in Eve history as the most well-written, witty and humorous adventure of all time.
_________________________________________
Ask not what your country can do for you.
Don't ask what you can do for your country, either.
Start asking what your country is doing TO you. |
INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
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Posted - 2006.08.18 01:25:00 -
[516]
Staying On The Wagon
In my journey so far, I had met a vast variety of unique characters, each with differing lives, and I was beginning to truly appreciate the wondrous depth and beauty of this stunning universe.
Nine jumps later, the beauty of the universe was reinforced as I was bitterly attacked by a battleship who was sitting 190km away from the gate I was heading towards. I was astonished by this because I had been led to believe that 120km was maximum range. Nonetheless, he was able to target me and fire at me from this shocking distance.
A large dose of adrenalin pulsed through me and I felt like a panther, swiftly speeding through the night, unflinching, untouchable and absolutely uncatchable, as the shrapnel splintered past my face, and I hurtled towards an uncertain future in the vast jungle of the great beyond.
I certainly felt like one cool cat as I cunningly evaded the battleship (this may have had something to do with the fact that all three hits "barely scratched me") and I joyfully jumped through the gate to live another day.
I arrived at the great market of Curse and docked:
Link
As I browsed the vendors and inspected the vast variety of merchandise on sale, I wondered if there were great profits to be had, supplying one of the many shops here with stock. There were an amazing 7 stations in this system and they sold a large amount of goodies that were essential to most adventurers.
I had been told that it was possible to purchase a blueprint and to use it to manufacture strange and wondrous items. Apparently, many players made a good living from such activities. Perhaps I would look into this idea once I had found a safe place to base myself.
I recorded a note in my journal as a reminder of the location of this mighty bazaar and I decided that I would head further south, to see what great adventures awaited me.
A jump later, I shockingly discovered what had happened after the final Harry Potter film. I wondered if JK Rowling was aware of this surprise twist:
Link
Perhaps he had travelled to the great market of the south, in search of some excellent new magical books, and had been heartlessly podded by muggle pirates along the way. If he had, he certainly wouldn't be the first....
Two jumps later, I docked in a station in XX9-WV and began a conversation with a pilot called Lord Jakara.
I tried not to laugh as I read his bio and discovered that he had been attending very supportive meetings where recovering pirates form a strong social network of positive reinforcement, as they desperately try not to fall off the wagon again:
Link
I couldn't resist the opportunity and began laughing uncontrollably as I thought about his poor and tragic condition, so I asked him how the undoubtedly difficult recovery was coming along:
Link
I genuinely felt sorry for this ex-swashbuckler. I knew it must be difficult to resist the temptation, every time a new name appeared in Local. I only wished there was something I could do to help ease his pain.
I could have sworn I heard the faint rumblings of an almighty YARRRRRRRR building in his lungs, as he desperately tried to stop his finger hovering over the missile launcher buttons in his ship. I was very tempted to fly up and down in front of him in my little shuttle, wiggling my inertial stabilisers to see if he would give in and fire.
However, I decided that if his resolve broke and he fell off the wagon, it would probably end in my podding and I could inadvertantly be the cause of a broken man.
I concluded it would be best to offer my support in this difficult time:
Link
(to be continued..)
The 0.0 Experiment
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Gunther Dwendel
Minmatar
Texas Lone Star Spacers
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Posted - 2006.08.18 01:52:00 -
[517]
Keepin it up front, excellent read :)
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Goliath Scorpion
Amarr
The Buggers
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Posted - 2006.08.18 05:48:00 -
[518]
I knew from the start you were in it for the money
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Ticondrius
Gallente
Coreli Corporation
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Posted - 2006.08.18 05:50:00 -
[519]
This deserves to be stickied...no, better...added to the Player Guide as an example.
Dude, you made me resubscribe. I quit late last year due to many reasons, one of which was bordom. Your story made me realize again what I knew so long ago...EVE is what we make it.
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ShuPac the3rd
Confederation of Red Moon
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.08.18 06:44:00 -
[520]
Originally by: INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
A jump later, I shockingly discovered what had happened after the final Harry Potter film. I wondered if JK Rowling was aware of this surprise twist:
Link
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ShadowBank
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Posted - 2006.08.18 08:46:00 -
[521]
Have you ever considered the potential benefits of becoming a journalist for the ASCNN, the ASCN news network? I hear Paddy could use some more material to keep our troops entertained.
Your vivid accounts of battles, dying, conversations, dying, research and discovery, and more dying leave a large grin on my face. I can't forsee what your future will hold, but good luck!
If there is any worthwhile advice I can give, its this: Be quick or be dead. The speed of your actions has a greater effect than the actions themselves.
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Big BillyBob
Caldari
Eve Defence Force
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.08.18 08:47:00 -
[522]
If there is anything I dislike about my alt, it is how he always manages to sneak into a post before my main knows whats going on... 
ShadowBank = me BTW
signature removed - Sherkaner
size limits are 400x120 pixels, 24000 bytes |
Xiao Tian
Amarr
Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2006.08.18 09:01:00 -
[523]
Sticky this immediately!!
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Kaizek
Gallente
hirr
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2006.08.18 09:41:00 -
[524]
This is absolutely priceless! You, sir, have a flair for the dramatic, comedic style. My hats off to you. Its always been the players that make the game and you are a shining example of someone who just wants to have fun and be damned are the people that dont get it. You've made this quasi-noob spend the last 2.5 hours of a night shift laughing his ***** off. Most enjoyable!!
And Heya Ticondrius, long time no see!
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Ailih Daqos
Syncore
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.08.18 09:59:00 -
[525]
Edited by: Ailih Daqos on 18/08/2006 09:59:31
You got some serious potential(referring to your writing skills). |
Chai N'Dorr
Jericho Fraction
The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2006.08.18 10:05:00 -
[526]
I really enjoy reading these. Hope to run into you in my nick of the woods.
_
Short Story: Planetside |
Jastra
Gallente
Carbide Industries
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Posted - 2006.08.18 11:44:00 -
[527]
Originally by: Ticondrius
This deserves to be stickied...no, better...added to the Player Guide as an example.
Dude, you made me resubscribe. I quit late last year due to many reasons, one of which was bordom. Your story made me realize again what I knew so long ago...EVE is what we make it.
you're back! |
Assmodean
Amarr
Black Lance
Dusk and Dawn
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Posted - 2006.08.18 13:38:00 -
[528]
I love theese storys!! :) keep them coming,
and ofc a shameless bump!
Coming soon, stay tuned! |
Rake Mizar
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Posted - 2006.08.18 15:31:00 -
[529]
If Magellan had a flair for comedy, he'd have been you. My hat is off to you, and may you have many more adventures!
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INNOMINATE NIGHTMARE
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Posted - 2006.08.18 16:10:00 -
[530]
Celebrity Doubles (Part 1)
As I pondered my next move, I received a communication from a fleet commander in a group called ASCN, informing me that I had been granted safe passage and docking rights throughout their entire region and was to be their exalted guest of honour.
Upon talking to this commander, I was also advised that he had been personally assiged to me and that he was my loyal servant, sworn by blood oath to valiantly serve and protect me on my journey south...
Link
Naturally, this was clearly an error of identification. I concluded that there must be a famous celebrity in EVE called INNUMINATE NOOTMARE, who was away on an extended business trip to the other side of the universe.
They must have accidentally confused me with him. I wondered whether I should say anything, or if I should just take advantage of the fortuitous situation and see what happened.
I decided to do the right thing, and kept my mouth shut.....
Damion informed me that I was to be the esteemed guest of honour, at a banquet held in my name, in a system called AZN-D2, far down at the south of the map. I played along with this and decided to see how long it would take them to discover that I was not INNUMINATE and was merely a man in a shuttle.
After studying the map, I observed that the target system was a monstrous 29 jumps further south and that I was currently in the middle of pirate-central (Curse) where there had been many ship and pod kills in the past hour.
Damion offered to nobly travel the 29 jumps to come and pick me up, but I decided that this could result in him questioning me about NOOTMARE's career on the long journey back, and I would end up revealing that I was an imposter. I quickly fobbed him off and declared that I would make my own way down there.
I undocked from the station and warped to the first gate, only to discover that it was covered by a huge warp bubble. I had flown straight into a gate camp.
Luckily, this camp was designed to attack people coming through the gate, not people approaching it and after manually flying out of the bubble I was able to warp away. I made sure to make my feelings clear in the chat box:
Link
The boy scouts who had constructed this camp remained suspiciously quiet so I decided that I would wait it out for a while, before trying again. There were no shuttles for sale at the station I was in and I was concerned that I could be left trying to fly 29 jumps in my pod. I noted the name of one of the pilots:
OUT4BLOOD.......
Some time later, local emptied out and I decided to risk making an escape. I undocked and quickly went to the gate and jumped through, only to discover that I was now to be chased by OUT4BLOOD for the next 8 jumps.
He had the advantage of having instas, whereas I had to fly 15km to every gate. He was able to keep up with me very well until we reached a system that had 4 gates, where I warped out of sight before he came through after me. He was forced to take a 1 in 3 chance to catch me and luckily he chose the wrong gate.
Another 14 jumps later and I found myself at the edge of ASCN space. I felt safe now that I was almost there. After all, they were erecting a golden statue of me in the town square, and I was "blue" to everyone whom I would encounter. (well such was the state of affairs until INNUMINATE NOOTMARE returned from his photo-shoot for Time Magazine and exposed me.)
There was another pilot in the system and it was nice to finally be amongst friends. It was so nice, in fact, that I was pleased to sit back and watch this happen:
Link
I let out a shriek of terror as I realised I had approximately 20 seconds to get out of this situation before I was podded and sent 22 jumps back to curse.....
(to be continued...)
The 0.0 Experiment
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BLAIYNE
Shadow Play
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Posted - 2006.08.18 16:34:00 -
[531]
Excellent story, well written - keep it up!
My favourite quote so far:
"Perhaps the locals had finally accepted that I was a man of perseverance and determination and would not be stopped by something as trivial as being brutally shot dead"
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MissyTrex
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Posted - 2006.08.18 17:17:00 -
[532]
Originally by: Centurin
It's a shame he is heading south instead of west. I have no chance of ever meeting him.
Maybe one day......
I have done absolutely sweet FA at work this avvo, cept read this...... brilliant.
Had to stiffle me LOL's
Sending ya sum isk with love and affection 
MissyTrex
xxx
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Maimer
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Posted - 2006.08.18 22:47:00 -
[533]
Bump...shame on you CCP when you going to sticky this!!!!!!
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Krav
Egad Inc.
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Posted - 2006.08.19 02:06:00 -
[534]
Originally by: Maimer
Bump...shame on you CCP when you going to sticky this!!!!!!
you have to evemail mods at ccp games dot com
Well done Innominate Nightmare! I love first person storytelling! you have to get us part two ASAP plzthxbye lol
I'm being inspired by it to return to writing short stories for fun, perhaps make one for eve, I dunno I'd be so embarrassed if ppl didn't like it
Krav
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Close encounter of the Hijack kind? Impossible.
Unless it is as bad as I think...
And if they were out to get m-- |
Chedburn
Eve Defence Force
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.08.19 04:21:00 -
[535]
When does the movie come out?
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Soy Grande
Trade Consortium
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.08.19 08:32:00 -
[536]
No second page for you ;) bump
"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on."
-Ulysses S. Grant |
Prasius Iceni
Caldari
Grammaton Inc
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Posted - 2006.08.19 11:13:00 -
[537]
Awesome - great read..
Knowing how many people have read this I am sure this will enter into eve-lore!
Pras.
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FittyUK1
Minmatar
Minmatar United Freedom Front
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2006.08.19 11:14:00 -
[538]
Bill Bryson......eat your heart out!
This is pure classic reading 
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XeXiLiA DwArFsTaR
Minmatar
Demon Womb
Xelas Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.19 13:50:00 -
[539]
Time for you to go back where you belong..... page 1
XeXiLiA DwArFsTaR
_________________ |
Serkis
Caldari
The Funkalistic
SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.19 15:34:00 -
[540]
I hope you find what you are looking for, however, I dont think its in ASCN space. Try BoB space, IŠve heard they know all secrets there is in the EvE universe 
CanŠt wait for your adventures to be published in a hard cover 
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