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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 8 post(s) |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:10:00 -
[1]
(Inspired by a thread you might recognize  )
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer slams a missile on the table.
Wrangler: Ah the XZV-1250, aka, the "Devastatonator!" Problem?
Customer: Yeah i have a problem. I was at a belt right...
Wrangler: Right.
Customer: And this ripe, delicious, full of minerals ship was there...
Wrangler: Gotcha. Big ship, muchos ISKneros.
Customer: In a nutshell. Well, i was shooting away with these blood things *hits missile* *missile bleeps*
Customer: ...
Wrangler: ...
Customer: I was shooting away and the ship began to warp.
Wrangler: Understandable reaction to being shot, mhm. The problem is?
Customer: This sorry excuse for a missile didn't follow!
Wrangler: Excuse me?
Customer: This missile. Didn't. Follow!
Wrangler: Into warp...?
Customer: Exactly. I want it fixed.
Wrangler: Fixed...missile...warp...
Customer: Yup. I'm right, i'm...*dramatic pause*...The Customer!
Wrangler: Ok then. *picks up the XZV-1250 and walks to the backroom*
*cling cling whrrrrrr bang bang bang damnit! whirwhir! zzzzzzt!*
Wrangler: RIGHT! *slams the missile back on the counter* There ya go.
Customer: Huh?
Wrangler: It's the new and improved XZV-1250 with an inbuilt warp engine for those HARD to reach targets who dare escape you.
Customer picks up the missile varily.
Customer: Umm..thanks?
Wrangler: Quuuuite welcome! Have a nice day now.
Customer: You..too?
*ding ding*
Wrangler whistles and reads a book for a while.
*dig ding*
Wrangler: Hello and welc...
Customer walks in, covered in smokestains, burned clothes and dragging behind a shiptag with the name "Wee-Haul-1" barely readable; "Don't you Hello and welcome to CCP me!! I want to havea word with you...
Wrangler: Oh...
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
MuffinsRevenger
EmpiresMod
Arcane Alliance
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:30:00 -
[2]
Exelent ^^
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ramzahn
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:38:00 -
[3]
Really very good.
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Hungo
Minmatar
Nightfallz
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:39:00 -
[4]
i loled
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Shenan'Calhar
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:41:00 -
[5]
Gold
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 11:41:00 -
[6]
Wrangler helps load up the new Missile-Warp-Disruptor-3000 into the back of the hauler; "Free of charge!"
Customer: A-hole!!
Wrangler: What a nice young man. Ladidaa...*goes back to reading*
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Right, Hello and welcome to CCP! How may i help you?
Customer: Want to buy some soil?
Wrangler: Umm...
Customer: Cheap soil, cheapest and safest soil you've ever seen!
Wrangler: That's ver
Customer: Cheapcheapcheap! Cheap soil! Buy now or you bootsole!
Wrangler: Eh?
Customer: YOU BUY SOIL NOW OR YOU DIE!!!!
Wrangler: Whoa easy there!
Customer: See how annoying that is?
Wrangler: Well it certainly didn't tickle my bum if you know what i mean.
Customer: ...err..no...
Wrangler: It me...nevermind, i'm guessing you're here because of ISK sellers?
Customer: What gave you that idea brainiac?!
Wrangler: No need to be rude. Right, what would you like for me to do about it?
Customer: Fix it.
Wrangler: Yes, i see. Let me rephrase that. How would you like me to fix it?
Customer: Just fix it!
Wrangler: Seems we are back at the lack of communication....
Customer: WHAT?!
Wrangler: Nothing, nothing! Right. Fix it.
Customer: And make it snappy hopscotch, i'm busy with work.
Wrangler: Riight...just one moment. *disappears into the backroom*
*cling clang and other assorted noises of search and rummage*
Wrangler walks back and sets a round, thing, on the counter: And there ya are!
Customer: What's that?
Wrangler: It's a fix. No more problems. Q.A.Ranteed!
Customer: Fine. *takes the...thing and leaves shop*
*ding ding*
Eris: Hey Wrangler, have you seen my "ISK Seller Attractor System" Prototype anywhere?
Wrangler: Can't say i have *opens book*
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Darkmist Starpain
The Serpent Isle
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:44:00 -
[7]
Pure golden. Can't stop laughing.
Will there be a sequel to this?
------------------------
Don't you see the bodies burning,
Desolate and full of yearning,
Dying of anticipation,
Choking from intoxication!
|
Pushtan
Ministry of Destruction
Southern Cross Alliance
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:46:00 -
[8]
i lol'd 
very good
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Rhanna Khurin
Minmatar
Tribal Liberation Force
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Posted - 2008.08.06 11:47:00 -
[9]
HAHA! Nice work Sheriff!
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Theran Emoner
Federal Defence Union
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Posted - 2008.08.06 12:08:00 -
[10]
Very nice, keep up the good work :)
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SARPIDON
Revival.
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Posted - 2008.08.06 12:21:00 -
[11]
Very good
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Tamia Clant
New Dawn Corp
New Eden Research
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Posted - 2008.08.06 12:24:00 -
[12]
That's a very entertaining read.
Looking for queue-free research slots? Click here!
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CCP Navigator
C C P
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Posted - 2008.08.06 12:27:00 -
[13]
Awesome
Navigator
Community Representative
CCP Hf, EVE Online
Email / Netfang
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
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Posted - 2008.08.06 14:28:00 -
[14]
Zzzzz....zzzzz....
*ding ding!*
Wrangler: Hu wh welcome to help! How may i CCP you? *thinks* Yeah!
Customer: Oh i think you've CCP'd me enough.
Wrangler: Another dissatisfied customer hmm?
Customer: You could say so!
Wrangler: Another dissatisfied customer.
Customer: Yes!
Wrangler: O...k...then. Now, what seems *removes a candywrapper from his cheek*...to be the problem?
Customer: I bought EVE!
Wrangler: I'm sorry for your loss...
Customer: Huh?
Wrangler: I mean, go on.
Customer: You changed it!
Wrangler: Yes, but i prefer pink shirts in the summer.
Customer: WHAT?!
Wrangler: A...oh you mean EVE!
Customer: YES!!!1
Wrangler: Excuse me...*points at 1* Look, i told you once, i won't tell you again, ones are not allowed in this establishment!
*the 1 leaves with its..err...head held low*
Wrangler: Now then, what and how did we change?
Customer: You promised space flying!
Wrangler: Yes?
Customer: It's more like flying in space!
Wrangler: Riight...
Customer: You promised shooting stuff up!
Wrangler: And...?
Customer: It's more like stuff shooting YOU up!
Wrangler: ...i'm waiting for a point here...
Customer: You. PROMISED interaction with other players!
Wrangler: No wiat wait...lemme guess...it's more like other players are interacting with you?
Customer: Exactly! You know the problem!
Wrangler: I sure do. Let me just...*goes down behind the counter*
Customer: ....
Customer: Hello?
Customer: HELLO?!
Customer leans over the counter to see Wrangler sleeping on the floor; "HEY!"
Wrangler: WHAT?!
Customer: I'm having a problem here and you're sleeping!?
Wrangler: It's more like, i'm sleeping while you're having a problem. Good night.
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Crumplecorn
Gallente
Eve Cluster Explorations
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Posted - 2008.08.06 14:34:00 -
[15]
Lulz, that last one took place on the Russia server, yes?
-
DesuSigs |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 14:44:00 -
[16]
*ding ding!*
Wrangler: Hello and w
*ding ding!*
Wrangler: ...damn nanowhiners...*goes back to reading*
(Sometimes short ones just work  )
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Tarminic
24th Imperial Crusade
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Posted - 2008.08.06 14:50:00 -
[17]
Awesome stuff.
----------------
Play EVE: Downtime Madness v0.83 (Updated 7/3) |
Anubis Xian
Reavers
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Posted - 2008.08.06 14:57:00 -
[18]
hehe
 Originally by: CCP Oveur
The client handles no logic, it is simply a dumb terminal.
I'm the Juggernaut, *****! |
Lando Milary
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 14:59:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
(Sometimes short ones just work )
Bwhahahaha! Awesome!
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Kalen Vox
Veyr
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Posted - 2008.08.06 15:01:00 -
[20]
Hehe, nice!
__________
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chadau
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Posted - 2008.08.06 15:34:00 -
[21]
I dont get it
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Bartholomeus Crane
Gallente
The Crane Family
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Posted - 2008.08.06 15:34:00 -
[22]
Originally by: chadau
I dont get it
Not the first time that happens, right?
--
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 16:17:00 -
[23]
(Whistles...yes i realise the one bit did sound like soviet russia )
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello and we
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello and
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello a...
*ding ding*
Wrangler: ...
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*ding ding*
*dididididididididididididididididididing ding*
Wrangler: H
*Di...*
Customer #2034: Hey guys make room!
*...ng ding*
Wrangler: Can i...help you guys?
Customers: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!*
Wrangler: Hey hey hey! One at a time!
Seemingly Customer Leader: We want justice! For far too long have we been opressed by bubbles and been unable to do anything about it!
Wrangler: Right, what seems to be the problem?
SCL: We, the collective mob of annoyed customers...*whisper whisper*
SCL: Sorry, We, the Collective GROUP of annoyed cu...*whisper whisper*
SCL: Look, no...*stronger whisper whisper*
SCL: *sigh* Fine! We, The Collective Group of Annoyed Customers and BILL...
Bill: Thank you!
SCL: ...have found out that there is once more an upcoming patch that will stregthen the bubble and thus make us unable to fight back.
Wrangler: There's no such...
SCL: We furthermore would like to inform you, that if these demands we have brought with us are not met in a timely fashion, we shall be putting a realmwide blockade to stop any ne...
Wrangler: Hold up!
*looks around*
*lifts a brow*
*goes to back room*
*comes back out wearing his wizard hat and robe*
Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might i assist you?
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Trind2222
Amarr
The Red Ring
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Posted - 2008.08.06 16:27:00 -
[24]
Best ever hope you don't mind stealing the last one for sig it was so funny
____________
Wrangler
*comes back out wearing his wizard hat and robe*
Wrangler: Hail and well met from Blizzard, how might I assist you?
|
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Please Enter Password
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 16:28:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Trind2222
Best ever hope you don't mind stealing the last one for sig it was so funny
Not at all, all for the public here
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Pwett
Minmatar
QUANT Corp.
QUANT Hegemony
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Posted - 2008.08.06 16:58:00 -
[26]
*Wrangler puts on his wizard hat.
_______________
Pwett
CEO, Founder, & Executor
<Q> QUANT Hegemony
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Darkmist Starpain
The Serpent Isle
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Posted - 2008.08.06 18:08:00 -
[27]
These are getting better and funnier. I so want whatever it is that you're drinking/smoking Mr. Jones.
And UP UP and AWAYYYY..
------------------------
Don't you see the bodies burning,
Desolate and full of yearning,
Dying of anticipation,
Choking from intoxication!
|
Frug
Repo Industries
R.E.P.O.
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 18:29:00 -
[28]
You do tend to deliver, Jones.
- - - - - - - - - Do not use dotted lines - - - - - - -
If you think I'm awesome, say BOOO
BOOO!! - Ductoris
Neat look what I found - Kreul
Hey, my marbles |
Rook Highwind
Unnatural Growth
|
Posted - 2008.08.06 18:38:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Rook Highwind on 06/08/2008 18:39:28
Brilliant, keep up the good work
Oh, and
Originally by: Pwett
*Wrangler puts on his robe and wizard hat.
Fix'd.
______________________________________
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Straight Chillen
Gallente
Solar Wind
Ministry Of Amarrian Secret Service
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Posted - 2008.08.06 19:10:00 -
[30]
a little ray of sunshine, on a dark and gloomy day
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