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| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 8 post(s) |
Tourison
   |
Posted - 2009.07.02 19:48:00 -
[631]
 Originally by: Sheriff Jones
Originally by: Lost Hamster
Welcome back SJ!
It's good to see this thread growing again. 
I so could...oh how i could twist that... but i'll just say thanks 
Sherrif Jones now on Cialis
|
WiaBuze
|
Posted - 2009.07.02 20:58:00 -
[632]
Quote:
Customer: Oh don't get clever with me Mr Wrangler sir, i demand answers!
Wrangler: 42
Epic mate, Epic
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Gnulpie
Minmatar
Miner Tech
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Posted - 2009.07.02 21:13:00 -
[633]
Yay, Sherrif Jones is back! \o/
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
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Posted - 2009.07.03 07:57:00 -
[634]
*ding ding*
WeatherMan: Thank you Bill!
Customer: Where's Wrangler?
WeatherMan: The northern winds came down and swiftly moved him towards the drinking holes on the eastern side.
Customer: What?
WeatherMan: The high pressure of the mountains forced the clouds to move from here to over the eastern lakes where it will soak up moisture.
Customer: ...what?!
¿WeatherMan: e's out.
Customer: Ah. Well, can you help me?
WeatherMan: The skies are clearing above, but it's uncertain to say what the day holds yet.
Customer: I'll take that as a...maybe. Now, i have a problem with the sleepers.
WeatherMan: Forecast for today is pain!
Customer: Yes, they are quite tough, i know. Now, they seem to run away all the time.
WeatherMan: The high pressure clouds forming in the area of the field is forcing the smaller clouds to move in a seemingly erradic pattern, where as the high pressure will be condenced at the lower areas of the spectrum.
Customer: ...i have no idea what you just said.
WeatherMan: Thunder and lightning!
Customer: Could you speak normally please?!
WeatherMan: Very...very....frightening.
Customer: Ok, ok, i'm sorry. Now, can you help me?
WeatherMan: The 5 day forecast shows that the skies will be clearing and we'll be enjoying light breezes and and bacardi breezers by sunday *laughs for exactly 2.7 sseconds*
Customer: I'll take that as a "we're fixing it" and take my leave 'cause honestly, you're starting to scare me.
WeatherMan: Join us next time!
*ding ding*
WeatherMan: Look out for those rain caused lockdowns folk!
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Franga
NQX Innovations
|
Posted - 2009.07.03 09:10:00 -
[635]
I am not a Sheriff Jones fan. Posting in this thread might be ironic, but I have a strong urge to let people know.
_____________________________
Please resize sig to a file size no greater than 24000 bytes - Mitnal |
Arvald
Caldari
Letiferi Praedones
|
Posted - 2009.07.03 09:14:00 -
[636]
WOOO SJ RUUUUULES
Its just not a normal day till Arvald has yelled at someone |
Zaotome
|
Posted - 2009.07.03 17:56:00 -
[637]
just found this thread and read it... took quite some time 
SJ, i really like your style and appreciate your effort to amuse us
keep up the good work!
*ding ding*
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Trustworthy Joe
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Posted - 2009.07.03 18:17:00 -
[638]
so sheriff, was it my post in the other thread that brought you back or was it of your own free will?
_______________________
with a name as trustworthy as mine, i cant POSSIBLY be an alt
Originally by: Cat o'Ninetails
<-- this is your brain on boosters
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.06 07:18:00 -
[639]
Originally by: Trustworthy Joe
so sheriff, was it my post in the other thread that brought you back or was it of your own free will?
Neither really, it was the dubiously clever plan of CCP with their 5 free days.
I was going to come back in August/September but...free eats man!
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer: I demand compensation!
Wrangler: Certainly sir, here's a lollipop.
Customer: Ah thank you.
*ding ding*
...
.....what?! Fine!
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer: I wish to complain!
Wrangler: And what, pray do tell, is the complaint this time?
Customer: I don't feel you're giving me the attention i require as a paying customer.
Wrangler: I see.
Customer: Quite, now what are you going to do about it?
Wrangler: Well, i could do something, but i feel that as part of a money receiving company, i don't have to.
Customer: that makes no sense!
Wrangler: Ofcourse not, who do you think we are?
Customer: Look here! I pay to play this game so you better show m the respect i deserve!
Wrangler: Right. Very well. I'll fix this right away.
Customer: Good!
Wrangler: Your account is xxxxxxxx right?
Customer: Yes.
Wrangler: Right and...*taps away on the computer*...there.
Customer: What did you do?
Wrangler: I gave you free subscription for 10 years.
Customer: What? You're kidding me!
Wrangler: Not at all sir, now i'll just do this *slap!*
Customer: Ow! What the hell man!
Wrangler: Oh nothing, just wanted to slap you.
Customer: You can't*slap!* Hey!!
Wrangler: See, you're no longer paying so...*slap!*
Customer: Stop th-*slap!* Stop that!!
Wrangler: Who's your daddy?
Customer: I'm out of here!
*ding ding*
Wrangler: there's no pleasing some people. *looks at hand* Hey Eris!
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Zaotome
|
Posted - 2009.07.06 07:28:00 -
[640]
that is sooo true... give what they demand and they just want more 
thanks for making me laugh!
|
Lost Hamster
Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp
|
Posted - 2009.07.06 07:54:00 -
[641]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
...
Wrangler: I gave you free subscription for 10 years.
...
Wrangler: Oh nothing, just wanted to slap you.
...
And again a good start for the week. 
|
Chereadenine Zakalwe
Caldari
Helljumpers
|
Posted - 2009.07.06 12:18:00 -
[642]
Edited by: Chereadenine Zakalwe on 06/07/2009 12:19:32
Looks like i was away when this was originally posted..so its all a bit new to me!
Now i have the pleasure of reading all 20 odd pages of it at my leisure!!
GJ Sheriff!
ô您&#
Telling somebody you love them is like firing first in a dual.
Your screwed if you miss them.. |
Leana Darkrider
Minmatar
Creatio -ex- nihilo
The Donkey Rollers
|
Posted - 2009.07.06 14:48:00 -
[643]
Pure gold mate, just pure gold!
|
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.07 07:24:00 -
[644]
I hope she dun get all angry like 
Wrangler: Eris...where's my chair?
Eris: Ah, in the backroom.
Wrangler: ...why?!
Eris: AppleBabe moved it.
Wrangler: Well i nee...where's my counter?!
Eris: In the storage.
Wrangler: Am i supposed to work from the storage?!
Eris: Do you even work?
Wrangler: Am i supposed to pretend to work from the storage?!
Eris: Look, don't be harsh on her, she's just doing her job.
Wrangler: She's touching my stuff!
Eris: Correction, she touched your stuff. Your stuff is now in the lounge of EA HQ.
Wrangler: EA?!
Eris: She felt it was the appropriate place.
Wrangler: It's not!
Eris: don't snap at me mister!
Wrangler: Look, right, could you ask her to move my stuff back into the store?
Eris: Even the door?
Wrangler: ...where's the door?
*ding ding*
Customer: Wha? Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! *thud!*
Wrangler: I kinda like it there.
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Lost Hamster
Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp
|
Posted - 2009.07.07 08:39:00 -
[645]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
Wrangler: EA?!
Poor Wrangler.
|
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.07 10:06:00 -
[646]
Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/07/2009 10:06:59
Always wanted to do this...suun i wish i hadn't.
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer: Yes helo.
Wrangler: Hello.
Customer: Helo.
Wrangler: ...can i help you?
Customer: Yes. I ama coming to juu sir from far east. I have a huge problem.
Wrangler: A customer of our Chinese branch i presume?
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Hello.
Customer: I wish-a to complain.
Wrangler: Do go ahead.
Customer: I wish-a to complain about juu using mai name.
Wrangler: Really?
Customer: Yes. Mai name is Tii-Am.
Wrangler: I don't see how...
Customer: Tii-Am Suun.
Wrangler: Oooh.
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Hel..look, it doesn't mean your name.
Customer: It is!
Wrangler: Yes, but it isn't your name, it's just a thing we say.
Customer: Mai name not just some thing we say, mai name Tii-Am Suun!
Wrangler: Yes i know.
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Stop saying halo!
Customer: No i play EVE.
Wrangler: No..a...
Customer: You will-a change the using of Tii-Am Suun name? Great name of Suun?
Wrangler: ...fine...
Customer: Proud family name it be. Started by great uncle-father Ka-Ming Suun!
Wrangler: I said fine!!
Customer: Ah good. Now i go, have a ah nice day.
Wrangler: You too sir.
*ding ding*
Wrangler: I need some co--
*ding ding*
Wrangler: *sigh* Hello there and welcom--
Customer: I wish-a to complain! Mai name is Que Litey, of the Tran family!
Wrangler: ...
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
MotherMoon
Huang Yinglong
|
Posted - 2009.07.07 10:31:00 -
[647]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
Edited by: Sheriff Jones on 07/07/2009 10:06:59
Always wanted to do this...suun i wish i hadn't.
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer: Yes helo.
Wrangler: Hello.
Customer: Helo.
Wrangler: ...can i help you?
Customer: Yes. I ama coming to juu sir from far east. I have a huge problem.
Wrangler: A customer of our Chinese branch i presume?
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Hello.
Customer: I wish-a to complain.
Wrangler: Do go ahead.
Customer: I wish-a to complain about juu using mai name.
Wrangler: Really?
Customer: Yes. Mai name is Tii-Am.
Wrangler: I don't see how...
Customer: Tii-Am Suun.
Wrangler: Oooh.
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Hel..look, it doesn't mean your name.
Customer: It is!
Wrangler: Yes, but it isn't your name, it's just a thing we say.
Customer: Mai name not just some thing we say, mai name Tii-Am Suun!
Wrangler: Yes i know.
Customer: Yes, helo.
Wrangler: Stop saying halo!
Customer: No i play EVE.
Wrangler: No..a...
Customer: You will-a change the using of Tii-Am Suun name? Great name of Suun?
Wrangler: ...fine...
Customer: Proud family name it be. Started by great uncle-father Ka-Ming Suun!
Wrangler: I said fine!!
Customer: Ah good. Now i go, have a ah nice day.
Wrangler: You too sir.
*ding ding*
Wrangler: I need some co--
*ding ding*
Wrangler: *sigh* Hello there and welcom--
Customer: I wish-a to complain! Mai name is Que Litey, of the Tran family!
Wrangler: ...
|
Lorzion
Minmatar
Black Serpent Technologies
|
Posted - 2009.07.07 10:51:00 -
[648]
*ding ding*
Mystery GM: Hello how may i help you
Customer: I just killed a T3 ship and it got bugged where i got the killmail but all the stuff was missing, no wreck, and the ship was flying around with the pilot logged and we couldn't target it. It's happened to us before and we have fraps footage.
*mystery gm grabs shotgun form under counter*
*shoots customer*
Mystery GM: The secret of the indestructible T3 ships will not been known
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Texhnolyze Deus
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 10:38:00 -
[649]
Woohoo SJ is back \o/
Lets make this thread a front pager once more.
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Some Advisor
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 12:01:00 -
[650]
5 days...
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Grek Forto
Destry's Lounge
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 12:13:00 -
[651]
I know I shouldn't barge in here and make one of my own, but I had an idea for a very short one.
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Welcome to CCP, how may I help?
Customer: Well, I hate your game, I jumped into a low-sec system and lost my cruiser.
Wrangler: ...and?
Customer: I lost the game.
Wrangler stares at the customer.
Wrangler: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Wrangler throws EVE novelty mugs after the customer until he leaves the building.
Grek Forto Yarring Blog |
Texhnolyze Deus
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 13:09:00 -
[652]
Originally by: Some Advisor
5 days...
He was gone a couple months so 5 days is nothing
|
Thenoran
Caldari
Tranquility Industries
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 14:09:00 -
[653]
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
*You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object*
Wrangler: ...?
*Customer targets Wrangler*
Wrangler: Hey hey! None of that!
*You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object*
Wrangler: Sir...this isn't an asteroid belt!
*Customer targets Eris in rear storage*
Eris: Hey! What's going on in there!?
Wrangler: Wow! Stop right there!
*Wrangler closes storage door*
*ding ding*
Customer2: Hello?
Wrangler: Just a minute!
*Customer targets Customer2*
Customer2: Ehhmm...
*You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object*
Customer2: Is that a macrominer?
Wrangler: Yeh, looks like, not a bright one either.
Customer2: So like, shouldn't you ban him?
Wrangler: File a petition.
*Customer targets the bell*
Customer2: But...it's right there...fine...give me a petition form!
*You cannot active Strip Miner I on that object*
Wrangler: Certainly, here you go sir!
*Customer targets the form and begins to mine it*
Customer2: What the?
Wrangler: Oh sorry, that's a Chribba form, made of Veldspar you see.
Customer2: ...
Wrangler: Here you go, a petition form.
Customer2: Okay...hmmhmm....that...name...eodjh473...and....done!
Wrangler: Thank you.
Customer2: So...why is it still here?
Wrangler: It'll take a few days to process your petition.
Customer2: ...you're not serious.
Wrangler: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, who knows?
*ding ding*
Customer2: Oh, it left.
Wrangler: Problem solved then.
Customer2: But it isn't banned.
Wrangler: But it will be!
Customer2: ...right...
Wrangler: Have a ni-
*ding ding*
Wrangler: -ce day...pfft.
*later*
Wrangler: Hey...where's Eris?
*In Customer's cargohold*: GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Wrangler: File a petition.
------------------------
Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
|
Shan'Talasha Mea'Questa
Minmatar
The Perfect Harvesting Experience
|
Posted - 2009.07.08 15:23:00 -
[654]
Originally by: Atherin Gaius
This material is classic.
I demand a sticky!
You have my blessings, and SJ as well.
-----------------------------------------------
Originally by: Paper
Rock's fine, nerf Scissors
|
Lost Hamster
Serenity and Unicum Hungarian Corp
|
Posted - 2009.07.10 07:16:00 -
[655]
Originally by: Thenoran
*ding ding*
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.10 16:26:00 -
[656]
Just letting people know that i did NOT disappear into another warmhole, just had some account problems
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Holy Lowlander
Lone Star Joint Venture
Wildly Inappropriate.
|
Posted - 2009.07.10 16:42:00 -
[657]
Originally by: Sheriff Jones
Just letting people know that i did NOT disappear into another warmhole, just had some account problems
how that is just dissapointing : (
I was searching for you in warmholes
_______________
Please resize your signature to the maximum allowed of 400 x 120 pixels with a maximum file size of 24000 bytes. Zymurgist |
Thenoran
Caldari
Tranquility Industries
|
Posted - 2009.07.11 12:26:00 -
[658]
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can I help you?
Customer drags in what appears to be a big pile of Crokite
Customer: You wanna EX-PLAIN this one to me?
Wrangler: Sir?
Customer: I can't refine this!
Wrangler: You sure? *big smile, looks at camera*
Customer: Ofcourse I'm sure! 
Wrangler: Just checking...geez...okay...let me see....
Wrangler: Ah! Aha! Found it!
Wrangler: That isn't Crokite sir, it's Fool's Crokite. *taps on the ore* See? Fake! *smiles*
Customer: Hang on...so I just put my lovely Hulk, my dearest possesion, into a low-sec Gravimetric site, at the risk of a whole bunch of evil people...to mine JUNK!?
Wrangler: ...P-Pretty much. *looks at camera again while fighting the urge to giggle*
Customer: So...this *dumps a pile of Gneiss on the counter*...
Customer: And this *dumps a pile of Jaspet on the counter*...is worthless?
Wrangler: Hmm...Flawed Gneiss and Flawed Jaspet...yep that's all worthless. *taps both ores* See?
Wrangler: Maybe they'll make for good decorations or kid's toys, or you can try to scam someone with them, say it's the real thing! *looks at camera* What?
Customer: ...
Customer: Who's...bright idea was it to put those fake ores in EVE?
Wrangler: Oh that! That was m-.....ehmm...hang on.
Wrangler: *high toned voice, into rear compartment* Eeerrriissss! You there?
Eris: *shouting back* Back here! What's up?
Wrangler: *shouting* Oh nothing, just wondering what you know about those fake ores.
Eris: *shouting* How I would I know, you made them and put them ingame.
Customer: *dark voice* A-HA!
Wrangler: *quietly* Thank you Eris...
Wrangler: Now sir...calm down....there's no need to- *incoming flying Fool's Crokite* AAAHHH! *ducks*
Wrangler: Missed! Now sir just wait a moment...
Wrangler throws back the Fool's Crokite
Customer: Missed! My turn! *throws the Fool's Crokite again*
Wrangler: Again you miss, you really need to work on your- *in rear compartment, very loud* BANG!
OUCH! WHO IN THE-!
Wrangler & Customer turn to the rear compartment door...very slowly and fearfully
Eris: *bordering demonic* WHO.THREW.THAT.
Wrangler & Customer point at each other: He threw it!
Eris: *pure evil* Very well...
*later*
Wrangler: So it never occured to you to check the description of that ore before you mined it?
Customer: Hey it's Crokite in low-sec, I was so anxious to get it!
Wrangler: Uh-huh...
*scene shows both Wrangler and Customer stoned into a wall with various fake ores*
Customer: You think we'll get out of here anytime soon?
Eris: *deep and dark from rear compartment* Don't.Count.On.It.
------------------------
Low-sec is like sailing along the coast of Somalia...
|
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.13 07:11:00 -
[659]
(As is customary...)
Lorzion: I'm painting a big epeen on this wall!
Grek Forto: Oh nice! I'm going to turn all these chairs upside down!
Thenoran: Good job boys, kep it up while i put jam in his keyboard.
Grek Forto: Jam?
Thenoran: Most likely will.
Lorzion: You guys hear that?
Thenoran: Stop being so paranoid.
Grek Forto: Do you spell sucks with a k or a c?
Thenoran: Put both just in case.
Lorzion: Seriously guys, i heard something.
Thenoran: You and your scaredypants. Look, there's no--
*ding ding*
Wrangler: ...
Thenoran: ...
Lorzion: Told you.
Grek Forto: You gusy are on your own *stealths*
Thenoran: Bastard!
Lorzion runs through a warmhole.
Thenoran: Traitors!
Wrangler: ...
Thenoran: Look, we didn't mean to...
Wrangler: ...
thenoran: It's like this. U..we...it...
Wrangler: ...
Thenoran: That's not a healthy color.
(censored)
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Clinical Experiment
|
Posted - 2009.07.13 08:39:00 -
[660]
Aaaand, one more;
*ding ding*
Wrangler: Hello there and welcome to the CCP! How can i help you?
Customer: I wish to complain!
Wrangler: Very well then, if you must.
Customer: There i was, with my gang, hunting one of these...what'cha'ma'call'em...Ten Guys.
Wrangler: Tengu sir.
Customer: Right right, Tangos. now, we shot it, shot it dead even, but the thing kept going!
Wrangler: Ah i see.
Customer: It was absurd! Preposterous! Scallywagly even!
Wrangler: When did you turn into Snagglepuss?
Customer: Sorry. Now about this Thing'do.
Wrangler: Tengu!
Customer: Right! It just turned into a ghost like ship.
Wrangler: Like the flying dutchman?
Customer: Quite!
Wrangler: Well it was flying.
Customer: ...sure, i guess.
Wrangler: What if the pilot was a dutchman?
Customer: I don't see how that--
Wrangler: Oh, but if you don't go check, we can't do anything about it.
Customer: Bu--
Wrangler: Off you go, go ask that nice man you just cost a pretty penny, if he's a dutchman.
Customer: I...guess.
Wrangler: No guessing, doing.
Customer: I'll be back you hear!
Wrangler: Yes yes, exit stage right.
*ding ding*
Eris: You do know you are not a "dutchman".
Wrangler: I'll show them to blow up MY ship...
My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit. |
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